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WTF Wednesday Review : Carrie – Newt Wallen
He’s with that mental case PVC Bondage Guy, who’s eating a burrito.
The initial reaction is to be annoyed by her idiotic behaviour but you just have to remind yourself that she’s mentally ill. She’s suffering.
So sure, a normal-functioning person knows not to eat a burrito when you’re reviewing a movie but this woman has serious fucking problems. Video etiquette is pretty low on her list of problems.
She’s on Instagram. I can’t in good conscious link to it but I learned of it from a comment on the blog. The whole thing screams insanity. She’s sticking her tongue out in literally at least 90% of the pictures. In one picture, she’s sticking her tongue out with her brother, who is also sticking his tongue out, and she mentions that he has a “self-made forking”. Something like this. So her brother cut his tongue in half himself. Mental illness is obviously a problem in her family.
She has pictures where she’s talking about guys cutting her breasts and how exciting she finds this.
She has pictures of her pet snake, who she refers to as a “noodle”.
She talks about selling nudes.
She uses the letter “V” every time the letter “U” should be utilised.
She posts weird bikini pictures of her in a hotel during some swingers thing.
And these pictures are from like five years ago. So she was…I don’t know…20?
She also talks about being “trans”, even five years ago.
This is all obviously the product of severe mental illness. So am I going to call her a dumb bitch for eating a burrito during this stupid Youtube video? No, there’s a different standard for the mentally ill.
I was in the grocery store recently. And some woman was on her phone the whole time and invading my personal space. And she’s just piling items into her arm. No basket. And even though I tried to avoid her, we ran into each other a few times during the trip. Talking on the phone the whole time. And I’m thinking, “This dumb fucking bitch. Just put your phone down.”
Then we get to the self-checkout at the same time. She’s still on her phone. She scans the items, pays for them, puts them all back in her arm, and leaves. No bag. She’s just going to walk around town with a pile of food in her arm. We were in the city centre, by the way.
Mental illness. It had to be. What healthy person would behave like this? So then I felt bad about wishing death on this woman earlier in the day.
So Carrie. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the movie. So let’s see what a lunatic and a complete scumbag have to say about this 50 year old movie.
1:30 – Newt is drinking from a large bottle. It’s too small to be some kind of family-sized bottle but too big to be a single-serving bottle. Is this the size of single-serving beverage bottles in the US now? This giant fucking bottle?
5:15 – PVC Bondage Guy is talking about how religious classmates of hers were going to take her to some kind of retreat but her father intervened because he thought that they were going to have sex with her. Ummm…I refer to my previous comments about mental illness.
Then in the middle of this story, Newt interrupts and starts talking about himself. Good job, Newt.
9:00- PVC Bondage Guy says, “I used to have all kinds of fantasies about lashing out against my parents, people who were tormenting me in high school and all of that, and earlier.” She goes on to suggest that she would have killed somebody if she had seen this movie earlier.
So it seems that PVC Bondage Guy’s mental illness goes back some considerable time. It’s unfortunate. Why is Newt not telling her to get help? Why is Newt, instead, exploiting this woman for pennies? Because he’s a total scumbag.
9:30 – “People stare and laugh at me all the time. I mean, I get it. I know I look a little nuts.”
If it were only the physical. You have genuine mental health problems, PVC Bondage Guy. Go get the help you need.
10:00 – Now Newt is talking about tits and gore…
11:00 – PVC Bondage Guy finished his burrito. She nearly choked on that last bite. She was taking tiny bites throughout but the final piece was big.
Then PVC Bondage Guy starts talking about some video game where you kill your family or something. I’m not even listening at this point. I was too engrossed by PVC Bondage Guy eating. But she says that she played this clearly psychotic game “a million times.”
Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about any of this. Because it’s not about Newt. So Newt starts eating his burrito. I think that they’re just wraps, actually but I’ve already said “burrito” so I’m sticking with it.
14:15 – “My parents seem to be realising that they fucked up. And how much am I forgiving them, how much am I trusting them?”
Issues to be discussed with a competent therapist, PVC Bondage Guy.
On the subject of therapists, or alleged therapists, SupaPixelGirl aka SupaPixelWeaver aka a hundred other names is gone from Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else again. If anyone knows her new name, let me know.
20:45 – PVC Bondage Guy starts pouring some…what is this? It’s in a jug. Like fucking moonshine. Well, that’s rural Pennsylvania for you, I guess.
21:30 – Now she’s pouring some other beverage from a different container. It’s a huge white bottle. What is any of this? Why are the bottle sizes so large?
She also said that there’s cat hair in her beverage but she said it’s fine. She continued to pour from these gigantic bottles despite the fact that there was cat hair in her cup.
25:45 – Newt says that he never went to his prom. Neither did PVC Bondage Guy.
27:00 – Now PVC Bondage Guy is trying to scoop the cat hair out of her drink.
28:00 – Newt is talking about Citizen Kane now. This is probably a good time to check out.
Comments. Oh. A comment about the blog. I better watch the rest of the video then. Maybe he mentions the blog.
30:30 – PVC Bondage Guy is talking about an ex-boyfriend who took acid. And then the boyfriend created his own “religion”. And then the boyfriend “forced” her to join this “religion”.
What? What is any of this? This is all stuff to tell your therapist. Not the horntards on Youtube.
Oh great. So I watched that last five minutes for nothing. Newt didn’t mention the blog. This horntard just took it upon himself to mention the blog. So here’s the comment:
- “Newt always remember that whatever people blog about you or post about you doesnt mean anything toward the type of person you have become. When I was broke and had no job you encouraged me and wanted to help anyway you could. I will never forget that as there was times i was staying on a friends couch and wanted to end it all. It makes me mad when i see these things online, but i know none of it is true. I didnt know you live in Manayunk, I’m over in Lansdale now. hope one day we can get a beer and meet up.”
Newt must have been talking about the blog again in one of his four hour livestreams. Newt, I don’t have the fucking time to watch all of that shit. If you have something to say, leave a comment, give me the timestamp in the video, I don’t give a shit. But you can’t expect me to watch these four hour livestreams to get your latest opinions on the blog. And that last one with PVC Bondage Guy and that prostitute was UNWATCHABLE. I couldn’t even get two minutes into that one.
But anyway, I’m sympathetic to this guy who left the comment, of course. And I’m glad that he’s doing better.
But Newt is a piece of shit. Clearly.
And this isn’t me saying, “Oh, he plagiarised for fucking Monster Madness. What a ‘slob’ he is. I want to suck on James Rolfe’s phallus.”
To the contrary. I was supportive of Newt when he got fired. I thought that it was total bullshit that he got fired. You can read the blog posts about this. I also regularly said that he was good on Hack the Movies.
But the more I learned about Newt, the more I realised that he’s a piece of shit. Talking about fucking a dead chick up the ass? The irony of a guy calling himself “The Ideas Man” when all of his “ideas” are plagiarised and things that a sixth grader would be embarassed by? Hiring literal prostitutes to be in shitty “movies” that may or may not ever get released? Exploiting the mentally ill like PVC Bondage Guy for these videos that get 1000 views? Creepily obsessing over Horseface, who’s one of the few people on earth even worse than Newt?
I’ve given this guy 100 chances to redeem himself. I don’t enjoy calling people pieces of shit. I wish that I could put more positivity out in the world. But I’m bound by the truth. And the truth is that Newt is a piece of shit. I’m sorry. I wish it wasn’t so. But it is so.
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XXX-MAS Completion Fundraiser – Newt Wallen
I’m two minutes in. I want this woman to stop talking. But she isn’t. She’s still talking. And she’s annoying as fuck.
She’s making rape “jokes”.
3:30 – I can’t even…fuck off.
4:30 – Fuck the fuck off.
She’s still talking.
She thinks that she’s a hot chick.
6:00 – “James, I don’t know how you did it but you knew exactly who I was.”
She’s been saying stuff like this the whole fucking time. She refers to people by their first name. People who WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW.
Oh, Steve was in that movie too? Really? Steve? In that movie that I’ve never heard of? Sounds great.
Who the fuck is the audience for this?
6:30 – She’s suggesting that you should get XXX-Mas as a gift, “For friends and family members, anyone who likes sleaze or horror” and Newt interjects, “Or Christmas.”
Are you fucking retards out of your fucking minds? You’re going to give this shitty zero budget softcore porn movie to your friends and family as gifts? I don’t care how much of a scumbag your friends and family are, they’re going to be creeped the fuck out by such a gift.
“Hey, I know you like jerking off to zero budget softcore porn movies, so I thought I’d get you this. It’s called XXX-Mas.”
“Umm…well, I do enjoy jerking off to zero budget softcore porn movies but…it’s kind of a private matter. Can you please take this back? I’m not comfortable accepting this.”
And Newt suggests giving this to anyone who likes CHRISTMAS.
“Here you go, Mom. I know how much you like Christmas so I thought you might like it.”
“Newt, you know how I never told you that I loved you? It’s because of things like this.”
7:00 – Amber is doing something with some plagiarised, zero budget Amityville thing. Who’s Amber, you might be asking? I don’t know. Nothing is explained. We’re just supposed to know these people. Amber Melons, I guess. That would be my stripper name.
7:45 – “If you want me to sign stuff, you can send it to the theatre.”
I think I’ll pass, Newt. He’d probably plagiarise the signature anyway.
8:00 – This horrible woman suggests that she’s leaving soon. Oh thank fuck. But then suggests that she might be back in a couple of weeks. The Ideas Man must be paying her for some shitty movie that will never get released. Eugh. Well, at least she’ll be gone for a while.
8:15 – This awful woman continues to shill for the DVD and blueray and t-shirts. And if you can’t do that, you should at least re-tweet or…something this movie. “Sharing is caring”. Well, I’m doing my part, I guess. I’m sure that everybody is going to rush out and buy this piece of shit on my glowing recommendation here.
Why are they even saying this? The movie isn’t out, as far as I’m aware. I’m supposed to talk about how great a movie is based on…what? I have to see the movie first, Newt. It’s sort of the first rule of movie recommendations.
9:00 – Eugh. Fuck off. This shit is so objectionable that I don’t want even talk about it. Fuck Newt. Fuck this fucking emaciated troll. Go away and don’t come back.
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/xxx-mas-christmas-slasher-film#/
According to this, they’ve sold eight copies of the movie. Well, that’s more than I thought.
I don’t know how they raised $35,000 from that.
Oh, and two t-shirts have been sold. This woman was constantly shilling for them. It’s a limited edition design. Supplies are limited.
Well, it’s true. They seem to be limited to 45. But I think that they’ve grossly over-estimated demand for these t-shirts.
Who the fuck is going to wear a t-shirt that says “XXX-Mas” on it. Again, imagine the fattest, smelliest, most pathetic loser on earth. Would even they not have enough self-respect and common sense not to wear this?
These are the sorts of things you have to consider when you’re a big time movie maker like…Bill or whoever made this thing. The marketing. The merchandise.
Here’s another problem: there are already a billion other things called XXX-Mas. This is not a REMOTELY original name. So when you search for it, you get completely unrelated projects.
Present a single scenario where it would be appropriate to wear a t-shirt that says “XXX-Mas” on it. Birth of your child? No. Going to church? No. Grocery shopping? No. Going to the AVN Awards? No because it’s not even relevant there. AVN is for hardcore porn, not this weird zero budget softcore shit that hasn’t been popular in 40 years.
And yet there are two people out there who, apparently, have found an appropriate venue to showcase this shirt. Who are these people? Where do they plan on wearing this?
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What Did I Buy from this kid for $150 at MoGameCon ’23 – John Riggs
Spoiler: a video game. It was nothing weird. Just a video game. Why he couldn’t just put that in the title, I don’t know. He had to use this weird clickbait title. But who is he baiting? What audience is he going for?
0:00 – So he’s at a nerd convention in St Louis, Missouri. Where even is Missouri? Let me check a map.
Oh right. Between Kansas and Illinois.
I was talking to a guy a couple of years ago on the phone. I was looking to buy a property. I ended up not doing it because of the fucking incompetent…well, let’s not get into it. But the guy was involved in mortgages. And I’m talking to him, you know, about mortgages and you can tell that he thinks something is up with me.
So he says, “Where I’m from, Kansas, mortgages are like 20 years long.” So I just said “Oh right” or whatever similarly witty remark I tend to come up with. I knew that he was an American from the moment he started talking. He didn’t have to tell me. But he was saying this because he wasn’t sure if I was an American or not. And frankly, I don’t think it’s any of his business so I didn’t volunteer the information. So then he says “Where…where are you from?” And I told him.
I had another conversation with somebody recently, again over the phone, and they thought that I was Irish. I’ve had similar experiences with taxi drivers and whatnot. One guy said that I have a “mixed” accent. It’s cool. It’s cool that I can pass as…something. Something other than American anyway. Even when speaking to other Americans, which is surprising.
0:15 – John Riggs is talking to some guy who’s a total douchebag. This guy is talking about installing some pachinko machine in his “air B&B”. Go fuck yourself, you parasite.
0:45 – John Riggs says to this guy and his pachinko machine, “Can it use some twinkering?” What? Maybe John Riggs was just thinking about twinks when talking to this guy.
2:30 – John Riggs is talking to the father of the kid who is aluded to in the video. Apparently, this kid’s plan is to bring some piece of crap into this nerd convention and “trade up”. It’s suggested that this is a thing that people make videos about. So they’ll bring in a pretty leaf or something and, through a series of clever trades, leave the nerd convention with a Faberge egg. Yeah, I don’t think so.
3:45 – Wooden NES cartridges.
5:15 – A shot of the people lining up to this nerd convention. These are the fattest fucking people in the universe. Look at that guy in the pink shirt. Then there’s some fucking huge guy with a fox tail coming out of his grossly oversized ass.
It’s gross. What normal human being would want to go to this thing?
5:45 – But now a word from our sponsor. Some fucking…you can get shitty custom shirts. Well, at least he’s not advertising an outright scam this time. That’s a change of pace.
He’s talking about the types of shirts that this place has. “They have baseball, they have hockey, they have…uhhh…baseball, of course.”
Great job, John Riggs. Couldn’t be bothered to do a second take?
And this wasn’t even a joke, I don’t think. It was just a fuck up.
6:15 – “I normally wear a 2X. This is 3X. And it fits perfectly.”
Just go on a fucking diet. Is it really that hard?
10:30 – So now, John Riggs is going to buy Brave Fencer Musashi from this kid for $150. Apparently, this kid made a series of trades to get this game. Let me look up what this game is being sold for. It can’t be much. It was a popular game.
I don’t know. Maybe $100 on average on Ebay.
But John Riggs doesn’t haggle at all. He just says, “Participation tropheys for everyone. Here’s the $150.”
Kids aren’t fucking stupid. They know when they’re being patronised.
I would have liked to see John Riggs drive a hard bargain and say “I’m not paying more than $70 for that thing. Just look up the prices on Ebay. You’re insane for asking $150.”
And if the kid starts complaining, you can say, “Look, you came here with a shiny rock and thought that you could trade yourself up to a Playstation 5. No. Life doesn’t work that way. Money is earned through hard work, not trying to con retards at a nerd convention. I’ll give you $70. Take it or leave it.”
Wouldn’t that be a much better lesson? And the kid would respect John Riggs for treating him as an equal, not some fucking soft-headed dope who needs coddling.
I hated people like John Riggs when I was a kid. I don’t mean fat creeps, I mean people who would patronise me. And you can see the way this kid responds that he’s not digging this. He knows that John Riggs is only doing this in a misplaced attempt at being nice. No. It’s not nice. You’re insulting this kid’s intelligence.
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Face/Off is Over The Top – Tony from Hack the Movies
This guy, I don’t know, Vito, is advertising his comic. As here:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/superkiller-1-a-blood-soaked-superhero-comedy#/
He raised $75,000. So that’s a success, I guess. Although…there’s surely a lot of costs involved. It’s not like he got $75,000 profit.
He has a Youtube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/@vito/videos
250,000 subscribers. That’s good. But the average number of views per video is about 10,000. That’s bad. Considering how many subscribers he has, I mean.
He makes videos about comic books and movies and cartoons and shit. Let me check one out quickly
It’s just a big fat guy talking into a microphone about whatever the manbaby topic is. Like a vlog. I guess. I don’t want to watch this.
I’m ten minutes into this Face Off video, by the way. I have no idea what anyone is saying. I’m not listening to this shit. It’s just a buzzing noise. I’m going to go make a hamburger now. Leave this shit keep running. I won’t miss anything.
Oh, no. I decided to heat up this “peppered steak slice” instead. Because it was expired. Why do I buy this shit? They’re never good.
I’m 20 minutes in. Nothing interesting is going on.
But I got this “peppered steak slice” from Tesco. That’s the largest grocery chain in the UK. A “peppered steak slice” is a pastry with some kind of meat inside. And possibly potatoes? I don’t know.
Well, that was edible, I guess. I don’t know why I keep getting them. I always think, “Well, those last thousand times when I bought these things were just bad experiences. This time, it’s time it’s going to be delicious.”
At least I have enough self-control not to buy those Ruster’s microwavable hamburgers. I haven’t bought that shit in probably 15 years. I used to get them, though. Awful. Inedible. But I’d still buy them. I can’t explain it.
What Tesco is doing now is having a “club card” price and a “normal” price. It’s their “loyalty card.” They’re now basically forcing you to get the fucking card. Because who’s going to pay the higher price? I just don’t buy the product when I see that it has a “club card price” on it. Indeed, I basically stopped going to Tesco because of this shit.
But now Sainsbury’s, which I think is the second biggest grocery store in the country, is doing the same shit. So…what am I going to do? These two stores comprise probably 40% of the grocery store market in the UK. And the nearest grocery store to me is a Sainsbury’s.
I’m 30 minutes into the video, by the way. Nothing is happening.
So yeah, I could get one of these fucking cards. They’re free. But I don’t want to give them my personal data. That’s the point of these cards, after all. They want to use and sell your personal data and spending habits and whatnot. And in exchange, they give you pennies in discounts. Fuck off.
What else? What else can I talk about to get my mind off of this boring as fuck video? Oh my god, there’s another 70 minutes of this. God. This guy has absolutely no respect for his audience.
He’s basically doing what I’m doing now. Just putting complete shit out there and saying, “Eat up, horntards. You’ll watch anything.”
Let’s talk about my hopes and dreams. Because this video is really causing me to lose the will to live.
I’d like to move to a village, somewhere in Europe, and just do nothing. Find a place with generous welfare. I’ve been thinking of this for like ten years. I think I’m going to do it. Just get a little house somewhere and do nothing. Just colllect welfare.
I told my girlfriend about this years ago. And she said, “Can’t you do that here?”, meaning the UK. It’s true. I could. But I don’t know. That doesn’t appeal to me. That’s not really an adventure, that’s just giving up on life.
But if I went somewhere where I don’t speak the language, it’s expected that I don’t work. And it would also be a good way to learn a language, I guess.
I’m 42 minutes in. Tony is yelling for some reason. Please, Tony. I’m trying to concentrate on my story.
So I’ve researched this. I’ve researched the price of houses in villages in a couple of coutries. It’s totally doable. Just get a cheap little house and fucking do nothing. How awesome would that be? Everything would be new. And difficult. It’s a challenge.
It’s important to mix things up in life. Anything could happen. Maybe I’d find some hot, big-titted village woman who’s attracted to unemployed middle aged men. It can happen. How many times has an American moved into this village? Probably never. I’d be a pioneer of sorts.
I think I’m going to do it. Maybe soon. Then I’d finally have enough time to watch Newt’s desperate three hour livestreams.
By the way, Newt’s latest video is him talking about porn with that prostitute and PVC Bondage Guy. No, Newt. I’m not watching that desperate as fuck shit. It’s not happening. And I’m not alone in this. It’s at 311 views after 24 hours.
He seems to think that tits (and gore) equals views. No. Quality videos equal views. Figure out how to make quality videos and there’s your path to fame and fortune.
I wonder why more people don’t just up and move. I was on the train today and some old drunk guy was complaining about the broken sign on the train. The thing was reading that the next stop was in some other town, which was obviously wrong. And he said, “I’ve never even heard of that place. I’ve never left the city.”
He was drunk at like 1:00 in the afternoon, loudly talking to anyone who would listen about how he’s never left the city. He was probably in his 60s.
Why did he never say, “You know what? I’m going to try something different. Why stay in my rut? I’m going to move to Austria and see where that takes me.”
It’s the same with anyone. I’ve gone on this diatribe many times but I find it baffling. People just seem to lack a passion for life or adventure or something.
You look at Tony from Hack the Movies, for example. Why is he still living in fucking rural Pennsylvania? I could see if he had a good job or a family or something but he has none of this. When he quit Screenwave, why didn’t he say, “You know what? I’m going to move to the Virgin Islands. I can record the show there.”
There’s nothing stopping him.
He must enjoy living in rural Pennsylvania. So much so that he refuses to even try another place.
And I gave a somewhat ridiculous example, although he certainly can move to the Virgin Islands, but why not New York? Or Boston? Or a small town in a state other than Pennsylvania?
No. He was born in rural Pennsylvania and just by the cosmic accident of his birth, it just so happens that he was born in the best place in the world. Not even worth trying anywhere else.
Anyway, I’m turning this shit off now. I made it to 1:10:00. It was awful. There’s actually another 30 minutes of this.
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opening a pack of 2003 Daredevil movie cards – Newt Wallen
We’re back with The Ideas Man. Somebody in the comments to a previous Newt article said that all that Newt can give this old prostitute is a video where he’s opening a pack of cards. I thought that he was joking. No. This is a real video. This is Skeletor’s debut video on Schlock & Awe. I’m not including the livestreams.
By the way, I saw bits of the recent livestream with Skeletor and PVC Bondage Guy. This one:
There is absolutely no way that I’m watching three hours of that. Nobody is. But I skipped around a couple of times. Everybody seems to be drunk. Skeletor is ridiculously full of herself. She says that she’s “working” tonight, whatever that means, somebody in the blog comments suggests shooting “content” for OnlyFans. And Newt referred to this woman as his “muse.”
I’m thinking that maybe he’s using the word “muse” as a joke now, knowing that people find it comical. But I’m not sure. Maybe he’s genuinely still using the word “muse.”
So an 18 minute video of Newt opening a pack of worthless cards with this prostitute. Come on. This is ridiculous. Ten minutes, absolute maximum for this shit.
0:00 – “So you guys like these trading card videos.”
Oh. Really. Do tell. Who are the people who like these videos? They’re awful.
The videos where he’s reviewing junk food are better than this shit. These cards are worth NOTHING. And they’re boring. The cards themselves are boring. So what’s the appeal?
Newt says, “Where can we find you?” and Skeletor says, “Instagram, Twitter” and so on. Well no shit. We’re looking for your username on these platforms. You might as well have said, “the internet” or “Kensington Avenue” or “Right here on Schlock and Awe.”
0:45 – Newt says that some Daredevil movie had a “cock rock” soundtrack. Whatever that means. Newt just wanted to say “cock” around this prostitute. And she got uncomfortable, of course. Newt has no idea how to speak to women. I mean, I know she’s a prostitute but she’s still a human being who can recognise creeps.
1:15 – Newt mentions that Coolio “just died”. Newt loves mentioning dead celebrities. He was a big Coolio fan. Never talked about him once while he was alive.
By the way, this woman pretends to be interested in comic book shit. And wrestling, I think. I saw it on her Twitter description or something. It’s just more ridiculously transparent bullshit to try to lure in horntards who also enjoy these nerds things.
Back when Destiny Fomo was advertising her “here’s my phone number, please talk to me, I’m so lonely” scam, I remember somebody in the comments saying, “Can I tell you about the new Transformers that I got?” and Madam Fomo said, “Uhh, sure, I guess.” That shit was a step too far even for Madam Fomo.
But yeah, all of these women pulling this horntard scam love nerd shit. What a remarkable coincidence. Because the overwhelming majority of women DON’T like Star Trek or X-Men or The Bastion Booger or whatever. I’d say a good 99% of women don’t like those things. And yet these women who take their clothes off for money or are in some way trying to capitalise on their appearance are all about that nerd shit.
You have Erin talking about what a big fan she is of Dungeons & Dragons, for example. Or Star Trek.
Why not just be honest? Would the horntards not still give Erin money if she said, “Look, I just like colours. Is that alright with you people?” Of course they would. They’d just talk about fucking colours. They don’t care. It’s not about the conversation, it’s about jerking off to…whatever it is that these people find titilating about Erin’s appearance in these streams.
She recently uploaded “C” in her epic journey of playing every NES game on stream, for money. And she starts the stream by saying that she’s “out of town” so not able to be on stream but “I hope you still watch anyway.”
So she knows. She knows why they’re there. They’re jerking off to that little box in the corner that has her face in it. I have no idea why but that’s what they’re doing. They’re legitimately mentally retarded. Maybe this is as much as they can handle.
By the way, “Out of town” is Erin’s euphamism for “I’m visiting my parents yet again.” It’s her twice-monthly visit to her parents.
Why can’t she put her camera on when she’s at her parents’ house anyway? She doesn’t want to show their house, I guess, but just put whatever streaming software on a laptop and sit in front of a blank wall. What’s the problem?
Anyway, back to Newt and this prostitute looking at fucking Daredevil cards from 2003.
2:45 – The next card is of Colin Farrell. Newt tells the story of how he’s BFFs with Colin Farrell or something. He met him through Todd Tuckey of TNT Amusements.
I used to watch this TNT Amusements channel. They would show pinball machines and arcade games that they’re working on. They sell used machines and refurbish them.
But the more I watched, the more I realised that this guy’s an asshole. He would complain about tipping a lot, for example. He would call out people who didn’t tip his delivery drivers or people who didn’t tip when having parties at his warehouse. He even left responses to Google reviews calling people out for not tipping.
Hey, asshole, pay your drivers more and include the cost of the tip in the price of the parties if you think that this is what it should cost.
And people would email him with questions about how to fix their pinball machine. So he’d call them up and say that technical support is $50/hour. And he’d put this shit in the video. Or him being an asshole to viewers of the channel who assumed, wrongly, that he was a decent person interested in helping out.
If you don’t want to help people fix their machines, fine. I appreciate that it’s a business. But why make a video where you’re wasting their time and insulting them? He’s the one who comes off as an asshole, not them.
Then there was a 17/18 year old guy who started working there. And this guy wasn’t interested in Todd’s creepy comments and bullshit behaviour. As an example, Todd kept saying “breast stroke” or something and this guy wasn’t going for it and was encouraging Todd to stop this shit.
Then the guy quit. He was only there for like a month. Maybe not even that long. And Todd said that he quit to go to college.
Learning to fix pinball machines is probably a skill that would have served this guy better than whatever shitty degree he’s going to get from college. It’s a niche thing. Even if he doesn’t want to work for Todd, he could start his own little business or just do it as and when for a little extra money. But I don’t blame this guy one bit for quitting. Who would want to work with this fat fucking creep?
Then Todd had a heart attack. He’s like 400 pounds, by the way, and probably in his 60s. So the doctor told him to lose weight and he did. He lost a lot of weight. For about a month. And then he gained it all back.
Since then, his video are entirely unwatchable. They’re filmed on somebody’s phone from 2005. All of the employees who he used to feature are gone, whether they’re no longer working there or don’t want to appear in the videos any more, I don’t know. And just this guy being boring as fuck.
4:00 – Newt says that Skeletor is based in Missouri but she disagrees and says that she’s rarely there. Uh huh. “Travelling” you say. She’s a prostitute.
Then Newt tells her to show off her dress. Skeletor says she got it from some place in Kansas City. Newt says that he’ll link to it in the description. But he doesn’t. He also said earlier that he’d link to her social media in the description. Again, he didn’t.
4:30 – A Ben Afleck card. Let’s hear Newt’s story about how he’s BFFs with Ben Afleck now.
Newt “ran” a diner and Ben Afleck…was…somehow in the vicinity of this diner. Good story, Newt.
5:45 – “I have a screenplay that I know will never get made.”
That’s all of them, Newt. Or you should know that, anyway.
Then he gives the dumbest fucking script idea of all time. And it’s just a ripoff of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Fucking Ideas Man over here.
9:30 – Newt says “Little minority kids” when he obviously was talking about black kids. Then he mentions how racist this scene was. What a bizarre turn of phrase. And suddenly Newt is Mr Sensitivity, having made an entire video about how petrified he was of a four year old black child and this child’s grandfather with the dirty hands.
10:15 – Jennifer Garner. Newt says, “When you think Greek, you think Jennifer Garner, who is as white, milk-toast as possible.”
Newt really enjoys that racism. He’s open about his racism towards white people but he’s a little more confused about his racism against black people.
Skeletor keeps looking at the camera and adjusting her dress, by the way. She’s adjusting it to show MORE cleavage, not less.
11:30 – Newt makes a reference to a “leather bondage suit” that some character in the movie is wearing.
12:00 – “Favourite expletive or yelling moment in a movie. What have you got?”
What? This was a question from Skeletor, by the way. It comes out of nowhere.
Newt says “Kahn” from Star Trek. Skeletor says that Newt stole her answer. Uh huh. She’s a big Star Trek fan, guys. As a 45 year old woman.
Then, literally, she talks about her “D&D group.”
Uh huh. I’m about two seconds from turning this shit off. Take your ridiculously transparent lies and shove them straight up your ass.
She says that she played with this group every Sunday for 14 years.
Guess what, bitch? I’m done.
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Wright Way Podcast EP. 11 Destiny Fomo
How the fuck did I miss this? Here’s the crossover everyone was hoping for. The original Mr Wright Way and Destiny “Don’t Call Me a Prostitute” Fomo.
This video was from four months ago. Was he already separated from Zap Cristal by that point? I think so. So I don’t think that this video could have caused any rift between those two lovebirds.
According to Mr Wright Way’s most recent video, he has a new love interest.
She’s wearing a wig in this thumbnail because in the video where she’s actually outside, her hair is much shorter.
She’s alright. You know. It’s a thick (or however the homeboys spell it) black woman. Judging from her accent, and the fact that I know Mr Wright Way is in Texas, I assume that she’s from the South. I’d give her some loving, I guess.
And good for Mr Wright Way for going with a black woman this time. It would have been ironic if he found another Puerto Rican woman. She could have been Zap Cristal II.
Also of note is that he hasn’t married this woman yet. He’s actually behaving like a normal human being and getting to know the person a bit before contemplating marriage.
Anyway, a definite step up from Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal. It’s good to see.
Now back to the scumbag stuff where he’s “interviewing” Madam Whoremo.
She has a foot of cleavage showing. Of course.
Oh, this is episode 11 of the podcast. I hadn’t been keeping up. Who else has he had on here? I’ll bet John Riggs was a guest.
Well, John Hancock was the first guest. And then he got Shane Helms. That’s surprising. I don’t know him but he was a wrestler. Ew. And he had fat transgender wrestler Nyla Rose as a guest. And Diamond Dallas Page? What? These people must agree to absolutely anything. How much is he paying for these guests? He can’t be making any return on the investments. These videos get like 1000 views.
Anyway, no John Riggs. Maybe John Riggs is holding out for more money.
0:00 – “The controversial Destiny Fomo.”
Well, prostitutes do tend to court controversy.
1:30 – Shout out to John Riggs. Mr Wright Way is advertising some nerd convention. He says he’s going to be on a panel with John Riggs.
Eugh. They’re talking about wrestling. WHO CARES? I’m not 10 years old.
I’m skipping ahead. I’m sorry.
15:00 – They’re talking about video games. Don’t care. Skipping ahead.
I don’t even know what I’m hoping for. Deep philosophical discussion, I guess.
21:15 – Now a third person comes on to the stream. He’s advertising some other nerd convention. WHO CARES? Skipping ahead.
47:00 – They’re still talking about video games. Skipping ahead.
1:00:00 – Some online shop is closing. Eugh. Come on. Can we talk about prostitution or something? I want some hard hitting questions. “How can you afford all of those games when you’ve never mentioned what it is that you do for a living, Madam Whoremo?” Something like this.
1:24:00 – Talking about Megaman and Spider-Man. Great. Send this podcast back to 1988 when I might have been young enough to give a shit about this.
1:31:45 – Madam Fomo says that she was one of nine children and she never got video consoles new. So her father would go to a pawn shop or from a “crackhead on the street who was looking for a few dollars.”
What a sad cycle of poverty. Now Fomo is that crackhead.
Then they talk about video games for a few more minutes and that’s the video.
Awful. Terrible. Who wants to listen to this shit?
I like video games. I spend many hours a day playing them. But a podcast where they talk about video games? Fuck no. I have no interest in that.
Maybe part of the problem is that I only play a handful of games. And it’s all PC games. So when they’re talking about the Wii shop closing or whatever, I have no idea what they’re talking about and I don’t care. I only play like Crusader Kings III and Rimworld and whatnot. I play Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup a lot too. That’s a free game. It’s a roguelike. I play it when I’m listening to a podcast or something because there’s no sound in the game.
I’ve been listening to the Real Brady Bros podcast lately.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-real-brady-bros/id1603671235
It’s alright. It’s Greg and Peter from the Brady Bunch talking about the episodes. And you have to realise that they’re sexual deviants and totally out of touch with the common person but they’re still fairly relatable. Maybe “relatable” isn’t the word but personable. So even though I know that they’re scumbags, they’re fine on the podcast. That must be a result of their fine thespian experience.
I was thinking about the blog recently. Newt talking about the blog. How crazy is it that people are talking about a blog? Like it’s 2003. But I’m bringing it back. Long-form blogging. That’s the future.
And it’s not just Newt, of course. Everybody who I talk about reads the blog. I’ll bet James Rolfe is an avid reader of the blog. This is about his level of internet experience. “Wow! A blog? What will they think of next?”
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The madilynn Paige Show – Newt Wallen
Uhhh…really? This is Newt Wallen’s latest prositute.
Why can’t he just get a girlfriend? I get it. He’s 40, no Brad Pitt, and he’s working in a movie theatre but how many people with mundane jobs and mundane lives and mundane appearances get girlfriends? LOADS of them. Just drop your standards and you’ll find somebody. But Newt rather spend time with prostitutes who are fives out of ten instead of women who actually want to spend time with him who are twos out of ten. Newt himself is a three out of ten so it’s not even that he’d be dropping his standards that much from what he’s can expect to get.
This guy is wasting his money on this shit and more importantly, he’s wasting his life on this shit. On fucking Skeletor over here. Can he not at least find an attractive prostitute?
I’m ten seconds in and she’s ANNOYING AS FUCK. She obviously thinks that she’s some hot chick. This 40 year old anorexia sufferer.
Do these people have absolutely no shame? I understand using people. It’s unethical, obviously but the concept makes sense to me. But these people are using NEWT WALLEN. What the fuck do they think NEWT WALLEN is going to give them? It’s just embarassing. They’re exposing themselves as complete fools.
1:15 –
Newt: Explain to the people who you are.
Skeletor: I have been a model for a few years. I don’t want to date myself here.
You’re over 40. Continue.
Skeletor: And I decided that it was time to grow and expand into a new venture.
Prostitution. Fine. Continue.
Skeletor: So I decided to become an actress. And my first feature film I met this guy and he seems pretty nice. I’ll keep him around, I guess.
She’s insufferable. Horrible female “comedy”. I don’t think that she gets the essence of comedy. You have to LIKE the person telling the jokes. If you hate the person, as I do this woman, nothing she says will ever tickle me. Especially not this fucking insult comedy where a 40 year old prostitute is trying to insult The Ideas Man. I mean, okay, Newt Wallen is a total scumbag and a piece of shit, but so are you. You’re in no position to criticise.
The essence of the “joke” is that we’re supposed to think that this woman is BETTER than Newt Wallen. “What’s this hot chick doing with Newt Wallen?” No. You’re not hot and you’re not better than Newt. You’re both a pair of complete subhuman pieces of shit.
Newt is promoting Martian Girl Massacre or something. As here:
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/martian-girl-massacre–2
This is another piece of shit movie that Newt is somehow involved in. Like Sucks 2 Suck. What happened to that?
They’re raised about $1,500 so far. Good luck with it.
5:15 – Oh, a shout out to the blog. “Some fucking psychopath online who writes a blog said that it’s not right for me to talk about celebrities who died because I’ve never talked about them before. Like I’ve never talked about Pee Wee Herman before.”
By the way, this woman looks uncomfortable AS FUCK while Newt is saying all of this. He’s bringing up the BLOG to a woman he just met? This is not how you get chicks, Newt. Not even if you’re paying for them.
But let’s assume that Newt has talked about Paul Reubens before. I’m willing to believe that.
But has he talked about Sinead O’Connor before? Or Pat Robertson? Or Barbara Walters?
BARBARA WALTERS! Show me the tweets about Barbara Walters, Newt.
He just mentions every fucking dead celebrity because he’s obsessed with death. Lanny Poffo dies? Got to tell Twitter! The last surviving Oompa Loompa dies? Got to tell Twitter! That guy who was in that McDonald’s commercial from the 1980s died? Got to tell Twitter!
Go fuck yourself.
“Then he went on a rant about how he’s gay and I was like who fucking cares?”
I’ll tell you who doesn’t care, Newt. This hungry prostitute sitting next to you who’s looking increasingly worried. She’s looking around for all possible exits right now. Planning a route in her mind for the nearest window.
5:45 – A horntard mentions Newt’s penis and then Newt mentions this, of course. Then this painfully unlikeable woman does some more god awful female “comedy” about this.
Can we just get back to creeping this woman out by talking about a blog that she knows nothing about?
6:30 – Newt says that he got a strike from Youtube for posting something about Screenwave that Screenwave apparently complained about.
7:00 – This woman is adjusting the…whatever this is that she’s wearing…some nightwear. But not in the way that women usually do. She’s adjusting it to show MORE cleavage.
Newt and this prostitute are also suggesting that they’re sleeping together. Because that’s hot, right? When you pay old crack addicts for sex?
7:45 – Newt says that he bought this woman protein shakes. Ew. This is not healthy. There’s a clearly malnourished woman with an eating disorder here and Newt is aiding this behaviour.
8:00 – This prostitute says that her shoes are for “modeling and posing but not walking in.”
Can we see this woman’s modeling portfolio?
Oh, I found it. I think.
https://www.modelmayhem.com/MandiMinx
Covered in tattoos. At least 40. I’m thinking 45+ after seeing these pictures.
$200/hour for nude modeling. Yeah, I’ll pass on that.
9:15 – “I was talking about why I create, why I want to make art, and it makes me emotional sometimes.”
This is Newt explaining why he cried in a recent stream while talking about what a doody head Tony from Hack the Movies is. Fuck off.
And again, this prositute is creeped out as fuck by all of this.
9:30 –
Newt: It’s the Madilynn Paige Show today.
Skeletor: Exactly. It’s all about me.
Newt: It’s about making people go and follow you on social media, and you become famous, and forget all about me.
Skeletor: I don’t know about that. I don’t forget my friends.
She stated earlier in the video that she only met Newt a few days ago. But now she’s in his home wearing some nightwear and spending the night. I mean, that’s normal behaviour for a prostitute but not for friends.
But anyway, Newt is speaking from experience. He hires prostitutes to make movies and then when the movie is over, the prostitutes stop speaking to him. It’s just common sense but for whatever bizarre reason, Newt considers prostitutes who he hires to make movies with him to be his friends.
12:45 – She stands up to get a hat. That wasn’t nightwear. That was a top. Apparently. A top that looks like nightwear. And she’s wearing booty shorts. As a 45+ year old woman. Who wants to see this?
I’m going to wait for this hat and then turn this shit off. I can’t possibly watch this for another three hours. It’s impossible. Nobody is watching this.
13:00 – Newt is describing the movie that he apparently made with this woman. She plays a camwhore and he plays a porn director. He promises “lots of nudity and lots of gore.”
We get it, Newt. Tits and gore. Change the fucking record.
Then she comes back and she’s wearing a Santa hat.
What? I waited 30 seconds for this? What a waste of 30 seconds that was. Fuck this shit. I’m not going to spend one more second on this obnoxious as fuck crack addicted old whore.
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Tipsy Zap And Bad At Math?! – Zap Cristal
This is just sad. None of this is funny, certainly. It’s Zap Cristal and Mr Wright Way II being fall over drunk on stream, for no money.
Zap Cristal has a son. The son is, I don’t know, 12? And she just brings all of these strange men in to live with them. She MARRIES these strange men. And then they get drunk off their ass.
I’m reminded of my own childhood. My mother didn’t marry a bunch of different black men. It was nothing like that. But my father would drink. Quite a bit.
He worked a lot and he would be away from home for days at a time. But when he was home, he was usually drunk.
That being said, I don’t remember ever seeing him take a drink. He at least had that much respect for his family. He would drink but he would do it in his room with the door closed. Or he’d go to the bar with his friends from work.
Many memories of him coming home drunk off his ass. Stumbling around. Doing weird shit. And my mother always had to argue with him to go to bed. They wouldn’t yell, she would just keep encouraging him to go to bed because he was a nuisance.
Then he died. It was alcohol-related. I was like 12. And that was that. He was younger than I am now.
I look back and I wonder how sad he must have been with his life that he would drink like this. He had a wife, he had children, he had a decent job, he liked his job, but he spent all of his free-time drinking. I don’t have many memories of him being at home while sober.
I understand maybe he wanted to do something else with his life. Maybe he wanted a better job. Maybe he wanted to be single. Maybe he wanted to travel the world. Whatever. But you have children. That was a decision that he made. Can you not keep it together for the sake of your children? Can you maybe do some parenting? Take an interest in your children’s lives? Maybe drink in moderation?
It’s extremely selfish behaviour. And bafflingly irresponsible.
It caused me to abstain from alcohol. I was in my late 20s before I drank any alcohol. And even then, it was just socially and in moderation. I might have had 100 beers in my life. I have no interest in any of that. I don’t even see the appeal. It tastes like shit and you feel nauseous afterwards. Who would want to do this at all, let alone every day?
But you have Zap Cristal over here ruining not only her life but the life of her very unfortunate son. I don’t find anything remotely funny about that video or the situation where she’s just marrying random black men. She’s ruining that kid’s life with this selfish, self-destructive behaviour. And for what? Is any of this even fulfilling? Put your energy into raising your child, not your shitty fucking Youtube channel that nobody even watches.
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Newt is Really Broken Up Over the Death of Pee Wee Herman
More bullshit from this death-obsessed asshole. “Someone whos work I admired for years”. Nice spelling, retard. But yeah, Newt was all about Paul Reubens. Never talked about him once while he was alive.
Newt responds in the comments, “how was wonderful bit of pop art. And taught kids too accept people. And its okay to be weird”
Nice grammar, retard. But yeah, it’s okay to be “weird”. What a great lesson.
The man was a sexual deviant, as children’s entertainers tend to be. People don’t understand what that whole jerking off in the porn theatre thing was all about. They’ll say, “Oh, of course you’re supposed to jerk off in a porn theatre. That’s what it’s there for.”
Well, you’re kind of right, I guess, but you’re not understanding what this is. It’s a gay thing. There were no fucking porn theatres in 1991. If such a thing ever existed, it was in the 1970s. The “cinema” was called XXX South Trail Cinema but the only references to it on the internet are from this Paul Reubens story and they don’t describe the place. What this must have been was a porn shop that had a small back room where they showed movies. And they were catering to homosexual men. It was a place where gay men can go and jerk off with each other and possibly take things further.
It’s just common sense. Would a heterosexual man in 1991 want to go somewhere where a bunch of other men are jerking off? No. I tend to avoid those places.
I saw an article just recently about some kind of masturbation club. I can’t find the article, unfortunately but it was in The Guardian so a legitimate newspaper. It was about some kind of meeting, I think held in a museum, either in New York or London, where guys would come in and jerk off. The thing was run by a Jew, of course. And this Jew talked about how “Even heterosexual men are starting to come in now.” Like it’s just a cool thing for heterosexual men to do nowadays.
No. If you’re doing that, you’re gay. There’s no ambiguity about it. If you’re choosing to spend time jerking off with other men, you’re gay. I can’t believe that I even have to say this.
Anyway, here’s an article about this Paul Reubens jerking off incident that was written in 1991. So a contemporary source.
https://ew.com/article/1991/08/16/pee-wee-herman-scandal/
A lot of gems in here.
At the same time that Pee-wee product was being banished, however, some celebrities came to the star’s defense. Bill Cosby, whose Fat Albert show and Jell-O spots made him a family cult hero years before The Cosby Show, released a statement saying that “Whatever (Reubens has) done, this is being blown all out of proportion.”
Bill Cosby, known sexual deviant, came to the defence of Paul Reubens, known sexual deviant. “Hey, come on. Give him a break. It’s not like he’s drugging and raping anyone. He’s just jerking off.”
Alright, Bill. Fair enough. Things could be worse.
Even more unusual was that the public came to Pee-wee’s defense in surprising numbers. A spokesman for the syndicated TV program A Current Affair said the show had received “tens of thousands” of responses to a Pee-wee telephone survey on July 31, and that the callers supported Reubens 9 to 1 with recorded messages like “We have sons his age and these things happen.”
Bad news. Your son is gay.
Fucking ridiculous. Like this was normal. Hey, come on. Who hasn’t found themselves in a porno theatre with a bunch of other men jerking off? These things happen.
No. They only happen if you’re looking for that type of activity. It’s never an accident.
Then the rallies began. To protest CBS’ pulling the plug, several dozen vocal Pee-weeites picketed in L.A. and New York on Aug. 2, and 250 demonstrated in San Francisco the following day (a second Manhattan rally was planned for later in the week). David Burke, 25, a political consultant and organizer of the San Francisco “Hands Off Our Pee-wee Rally,” summed up the protesters’ annoyance when he told Entertainment Weekly, “Look, Pee-wee Herman made (CBS) millions of dollars the past few years…(Now) he stands accused of something and they were ready to sell him down the river.”
Uh huh. A protest in San Francisco, you say. Called “Hands Off Our Pee Wee”, you say. Nothing gay about any of this.
The message “WE (love) U PEE-WEE!,” sprayed in hot-pink letters on the exterior of Sarasota’s South Trail Cinema on the night of Aug. 1, suggests that some people in Paul Reubens’ hometown are with him as well.
Yeah. THE GAY COMMUNITY. Hot pink spray paint. Come on.
Even at the time, everybody knew that this was gay. It was not a secret. I was a kid so didn’t get it but adults surely did. There are veiled but pretty clear references to homosexuality in this article.
There was another incident with Paul Reubens where he was arrested or possibly just spoken to by police about his porn collection. He had a collection of magazines and videos of muscular young men.
https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna4653913
That article is from 2004. I guess it happened around then? Some interesting quotes.
Reubens acknowledges possessing a massive collection of what he calls “vintage erotica,” films and muscle magazines with titles like: “Boy Nudist” and “Shame Dame,” as well as some photographic studies of teen nudes. But he says that what the city attorney’s office views as pornography, he considers art.
Uh huh.
Reubens: “Magazines. photographs. films. Incredible, beautiful stuff that I stand behind.”
Phillips: “Did you ever stop and think while you were massing this collection, maybe it’s not such a good idea, especially given what had happened back in 1991?”
Reubens: “I didn’t. I never did. I wasn’t really thinking to myself, wow this is my creepy, weird stuff that I shouldn’t be collecting. It’s not titillating. It’s not something that I use for any kind of sexual purpose.”
Oh, do tell, Mr Reubens. You’re reading Boy Nudist for the articles, are you?
He never admitted that he was gay, as far as I’m aware. Even though it’s ridiculously obvious. This is Richard Simmons levels of homosexuality. Probably even worse. Richard Simmons wishes that he was as gay as Paul Reubens was.
All of that being said, I enjoyed the show. I watched it every week. I had the talking doll before my scumbag mother made me give it away. I’ve told that story before. I had the action figures. One Halloween, I dressed up in the world’s worst Pee Wee Herman costume. I was pretty into it. It was a popular show.
But it was gay. It was all hella gay. The show was gay. The message was gay. And obviously the man himself was gay.
It’s not about being “weird”. “Weird” is just being used a euphamism for homosexuality. “Do your own thing. Let me put my ding-a-ling in your butt. Isn’t this wacky of us? We’re such free-spirits.”
Was it irresponsible for my parents to let me watch the show? I don’t know. They weren’t paying attention, of course. Maybe they didn’t see the obvious homosexual nature of it all.
It’s not like watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse turned me gay but it couldn’t have helped.
How about a show from a heterosexual man talking about how it’s okay to be yourself and do your own thing but instead of steering them towards gay shit like dressing like a fag and wearing lipstick, it steers you to some quirky heterosexual behaviour? Maybe they encourage you to get involved in student government and suggest proposals that you can try to spearhead that would enact actual social change at your school. More nutritious lunches, ethical fundraising, shit like this. Instead of the usual student government proposals like more “dress down” days. Take your “dress down” days and shove them up your ass. I’m sick of having to sell shitty gift wrap to my parents.
That would be a positive thing. A positive message. As opposed to, say, wearing a giant pair of underpants. That’s gay.
There’s so much wacky, individualist stuff that you can do as a heterosexual man that’s fulfilling personally and helps society but Pee Wee Herman and his ilk were all about that buttsex. That’s the only “wacky” shit that they were interested in. It all revolved around the anus. And this is all done by design. There’s no reason why we can’t have heterosexual men as children’s entertainers presenting material that would be of interest to heterosexual children. They’re being intentionally excluded.
So Newt says that his fondness for Pee Wee Herman led him to John Waters. Yeah. Exactly. Another flamboyant gay man who was a giant sexual deviant.
Why would Newt boast about this? Well, this is somebody who shows his penis to other men. Newt is gay. Just come out of the closet.
“Won’t it be wacky if I show Joe from Gamesack my penis?”
No, Newt. It’s gay. You’re gay. And so is Joe from Gamesack, apparently.
Another commentator says, “He probably inspired soo many kids into a life of wackiness and camp. He’s a true legend.”
Indeed. That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time. You know that “camp” means “gay”, right? He must know this. The show promoted homosexuality.
Newt replies, “you never really need to grow up. still okay to have an imagination. to be silly. its what i try to do. keep that part of me that is not broken and cold alive to keep on dreaming.”
Gay, camp, feminine behaviour from The Ideas Man. You know what’s better than behaving like a little kid? Being a man and doing stuff. Taking charge of your life. Making things happen. Bringing about positive social change.
If only there were children’s tv shows espousing this message.
So that was Newt Wallen fake mourning over the latest dead celebrity. And he doesn’t give a fuck about Paul Reubens, of course. Nobody does. The man was 70 and had cancer. This is all about Newt. Newt talks about dead old celebrities because he feels sorry for himself and is concerned about his own mortality.
Some dead old faggot from the 1980s. Who cares?
When I was a kid, old people were World War II heroes and shit. Those were real old people. Why don’t we have any of those guys around any more? Now the old people we have are a bunch of lazy, hippie faggots. Who wants that? Bring me the old, old people. They were much better.
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Newt’s Nerd Rooms
He refers to these in the plural sense. He has several rooms that are nerd rooms.
The first picture is the entrance to some room, going up the stairs. I’m pretty sure that he lives in an apartment. A two-floor apartment? I’ve seen these but I don’t know. It’s surprising. Is this normal in Philadelphia? Is such a place within Newt’s budget?
But he has “NW” above the door like he’s 10 years old. Newt, we know it’s your room. The whole place is yours. You don’t have to advertise. Your sister isn’t going to sneak in and touch all of your stuff.
And he has a bunch of framed movie posters in the walls in all of these rooms. Mostly of shit horror movies. He must be using those adhesive hooks. I wouldn’t trust them with anything valuable but I suppose this crap isn’t valuable. But also, those hooks are like two bucks each. He must have spent a fair amount just on that. Plus the frames. Did he frame them himself? Probably. The frames all look to be the same. There must be a standard movie size frame and there’s an appropriately-sized frame.
But yeah, I really wish that I had a poster of a rubber monster coming out of the toilet on my wall.
Here’s Newt shilling for yet another project that went nowhere. This time Boglins. You remember Boglins? Not really. Well, anyway, Newt wrote a script about them. Presumably shat it out in a day, as per usual.
Then there’s an exchange in the comments:
Guy: Are typos a signature of yours? I’ve noticed them in just about every sentence of every script you post.
Newt: It’s what I pay editors for.
Guy: You pay editors to fix your scripts for typos? That seems like a very strange and unnecessary expense.
Newt: To have someone else eyes on something to not just fix my poor grammar but to also maybe play an angle I didnt see. Plus its my money. So….yah know…..mind yah biz
Guy: Any script writer will have people to read their scripts for them – for free – and give ideas/suggestions/critiques. It is completely bizarre for a script writer – who presumably isn’t getting paid WGA wages – to then pay someone to put periods at the ends of their sentences.
Newt: K. Well my way has resulted in 13 pay days for myself and editors. You know Tarantino is functionally illiterate. And half youtubers who people praise dont write a word of their videos. And unlike those youtubers I dont pay in exposure. So ill be okay. But thanks for concern
Guy: You forgot a period at the end of your final sentence – maybe you should throw money away on someone to edit your tweets too.
It’s true. That script largely eschews capitalisation rules. It looks amateur as all get out. But, apparently, Newt hires an editor. Why didn’t he hire an editor for this script and post the edited script?
But yeah, Newt Wallen and Quentin Tarantino. Two real movie-making titans.
This is from Newt’s award-winning short Gore-illa. Which awards did it win? We don’t know. But he’s reshooting some scenes to get rid of Horseface and turn it into a full 90 minute motion picture. Allegedly. We can all look forward to that.
I’m trying to find the short but, of course, there are MANY things called “Gore-illa”. The Ideas Man has no ideas whatsoever. I’m just going to assume that this is the short:
That high school project is probably better than anything Newt made anyway.
Oh, I found the trailer to Newt’s version of Gore-illa.
I was right, that high school project was much better than Newt’s version. At least in the high school version, we didn’t have to see Horseface in the shower or in a bikini. God, isn’t she at all embarassed to have been associated with Newt and doing these humiliating projects that went NOWHERE?
Happy 11,400 subscribers, Newt. It seems like only last week we were celebrating the 11,300 milestone.
Newt mentions Sinead O’Connor. He loves mentioning dead celebrities. Or dead girlfriends. But he never mentions any of these people when they were alive. Funny that.
What songs has Sinead O’Conner even released? I can’t think of any. I know her from shaving her head and ripping up that picture of the Pope.
Nothing Compares 2 U. Never heard of it. Let’s check it out.
No, I never heard this. And I couldn’t even listen to it now. I had to skim through it hoping for it to start but it never did. And the video is just a close up of her face, which didn’t help.
I remember when Amy Winehouse died and the level of elation that I felt. I hated hearing about her. There would be these obnoxious fucking stories about her every single day. I remember one particularly annoying turn of phrase about how she was “throwing shapes” at some club. This was a news story. She was seen in a club “throwing shapes” and this was published in a national newspaper. It apparenly means dancing, by the way.
Then when she died I realised that my long nightmare of reading these stories was finally over. Why was she constantly in the news? Her songs are shit. She was mentally challenged. And she had obvious drug and alcohol problems. I don’t care. I don’t want to see this shit EVERY FUCKING DAY. “Throwing shapes”. Shove it up your ass.