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Pittsburgh Gaming Expo has retro, arcades, tabletop… tattoos? – John Riggs
0:00 – John Riggs is at yet another nerd convention, trying desperately to pick up chicks, and getting a tattoo. Spoiler: it’s unbelievably bad.
Then it cuts to him wearing his John Riggs baseball shirt that he got as part of some sponsorship promotion thing. Jesus Christ. Get some other shirts. He wore this in the last video I saw of his. Well, the guy is 300 pounds. I suppose that shirts are in limited supply in his size.
Oh, he’s in Pittsburgh, by the way. I wonder if he met any of the Screenwave crew. Or at least Horseface. He met Horseface, right? Wasn’t there some picture recently of him and Horseface? Now I have to check.
Yeah, I talk about it there. That was a different nerd convention. God, this is all that this guy does. He just goes to nerd conventions while his long suffering wife is at home with these extremely unfortunate children. How can he possibly have a job when he seems to ALWAYS be at some nerd convention across the country?
5:30 – Quick shot of the original Mr Wright Way. It’s literally like one second. John Riggs says “Hey, look who’s here” and Mr Wright Way says “hey” and then there’s an edit.
I guess he doesn’t want to offend Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal. But she’s married. Well, I guess he was trying to get with her even when she was married to Mr Wright Way so it doesn’t matter to him. John Riggs considers the sanctity of marriage to be somewhat over-rated.
10:00 – Some freak in a furry head getting a tattoo. Yeah, this is where I want to spend my time. With these completely socially inept losers.
13:45 – Quick creep shot of a purple-haired freak. John Riggs always seems to find them.
14:15 – Couple of butch lesbians holding hands. They’re in love. Spending their time at the nerd convention. Doesn’t get any more romantic than that.
15:00 – Another shot of Mr Wright Way. No mention of him.
16:30 – He’s showing some some of insect infestation outside the nerd convention.
20:00 – Now he’s just filming some asshole with a megaphone. As if going to this nerd convention isn’t painful enough now you have a guy walking around actively trying to make it worse.
Fortunately for this megaphone guy, none of the people at this nerd convention have any testosterone. Well, except for maybe those two lesbians.
25:30 – So finally we see the tattoo. It’s a…I don’t know. Some kind of blue gem. On his fat wrist. It’s the world’s worst placement. It’s a terrible tattoo. What the fuck is this? I assume that it’s a reference to some video game.
Then John Riggs says that he has carpal tunnel syndrome so can’t move his wrist. Then he demonstrates and indeed his wrist doesn’t seem to move much.
Maybe he can give some advice to Erin. Erin hasn’t talked about her carpal tunnel syndrome in quite some time. It just magically disappeared. She’s doing four hour streams with no problem. Interesting.
But yeah, John Riggs, what the fuck? How many health problems can one person have? I think that if he lost 100 pounds, he might find that some of these health problems go away.
And this tattoo…what the fuck was he thinking with this? You’re going to get chicks with this fucking shit?
In the comments, JOHN RIGGS says that it’s a rupee from Legend of Zelda. Is it? I’ve never actually played the game but I’ve seen Mike Matei play it a fucking billion times. Are they blue? They’re not blue. Are they?
I know that he’s bald, 46 years old, 300 pounds, married, has three children, doesn’t seem to have a job, makes Youtube videos about video games, and creeps on every woman he can find but why ADD to your list of reasons why women wouldn’t be interested in you? The tattoo might be the dealbreaker. There might be a woman out there who can overlook all of that other stuff but not the tattoo.
And it’s not like that tattoo is going to get you any women. Nobody ON EARTH is going say, “That rupee tattoo is really doing it for me. Sex later?”
I knew a guy who had some German insignia on his wrist. Not a swastika but something along these lines. He was a racist fellow and all but I think he got it to honour his German heritage. Nevertheless, he had enough sense to always wear a huge fucking watch to cover that tattoo.
John Riggs is going to need one of those Slime Time watches from the 1980s to cover that abomination that he has. You would actually get more chicks from wearing a Slime Time watch than you would from having that fucking tattoo.
And if we’re talking tattoos and picking up chicks, and it’s a choice between a racist tattoo and a nerd tattoo, you have to go with the racist tattoo every fucking time. For a lot of women it would be a turn on. They might associate it with prisons and they like the bad boys. Or maybe they’re just some crazy racist chick. Plenty of them out there.
But nerd tattoos? Come on. There’s NOBODY. NOBODY will be turned on by a nerd tattoo.
So what I’m saying, quite clearly, is that John Riggs should cover himself with racist tattoos if he wants to pick up chicks. Which is something that he clearly does want. That’s his whole reason for getting up in the morning. He’s constantly trying to pick up chicks.
Imagine him going through this fucking nerd convention, shirtless, and he’s covered in “SS” and “88” and Celtic Cross tattoos. And right on his man boobs he has a huge imperial eagle grasping a swastika. You’re telling me that he wouldn’t get chicks? He’d get somebody with that shit. Might be a man in a dress or that fucking furry but he’d get somebody.
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NEWTrition: Mtn Dew Voo Dew Mystery Flavor 2023 Review – Newt Wallen
0:00 – Newt calls you, the viewer, one of his “little Halloweiners”. Creepy.
0:15 – He’s talking about a previous video that he did. “I think it was the first soda one that I did, or “pop”, depending on where you’re fucking from.”
I call it a “carbonated beverage.” Who gives a shit? Now get on with it.
Actually, I think that they’re called “fizzy drinks” in the UK. That’s pretty gay, right? No gayer than “pop”, I guess.
But we all know what you’re talking about. I lived in areas where people said “pop” but they also said “soda”. People knew what soda was. It’s not a secret.
If you order fries in the UK, they’ll know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to worry about saying “chips”. Everybody has long since figured all of this out.
I never say “wee” or “aye” despite the fact that these are popular terms in my neighbourhood. People still know what I’m saying when I say “small” and “yes”. They’re not fucking retards.
Actually, saying all of this, I remember a Scottish co-worker of mine in London who would say “aye” a lot. And people would say, “Oh, it’s so cute how she says ‘aye’”. I found it annoying as fuck and thought that she was just putting it on. Why can’t she just say “yes”?
But now having lived in Scotland for quite some time, I realise that first of all she wasn’t putting it on. People do genuinely say “aye” a lot. But secondly, it’s superior to “yes”. Different inflections convey different meanings. I’m not going to adopt it because I’d sound like a fucking gay pirate but I recognise the superiority of “aye” as a term of affirmation.
Back to the Ideas Man and his carbonated beverage.
1:15 – He drinks it and says that they taste like Airheads. What? Airheads? I might have had these twice in my life. As some shitty Halloween candy or something. Let me look for a picture.
Yeah, I don’t remember this at all. Maybe the packaging has changed.
He compared last year’s carbonated beverage to Sour Patch Kids. They sell these in the UK but I don’t think it’s the same thing. It can’t be.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/4jnn1v/american_vs_british_sour_patch_kids/
Somebody posted pictures, now deleted, but maybe they’re the same. I mean, different ingredients and I saw pictures elsewhere that showed that they looked slightly different but maybe it’s all made by the same company.
2:15 – Newt says that they have Airheads in his movie theatre. Maybe that’s where I’ve seen them. Not Newt’s cinema in particular but in a movie theatre.
3:45 – He keeps going on about Airheads. Blue raspberry Airheads. Newt…it’s a fucking ghetto candy. It’s only sold in weird places.
There used to be a newspaper shop in my town. They sold stationery too. And candy. Lots of candy. Not just the shit that you’d find at the drug store or the grocery store but obscure stuff. Stuff like Airheads, probably. And they had penny candies in jars. I doubt that they were actually a penny. Probably five cents each.
What the hell was I talking about? I lost my train of thought. Let’s move on.
4:45 – “I’m not a huge Airheads guy.”
NOBODY IS! What the fuck? Am I crazy? I don’t even remember seeing them. I must have seen them at some point because I knew that it was a candy. But that’s the extent of my knowledge.
Anyway, mystery flavour. DumDums had a mystery flavour. Those were my favourite. Many years later, I read that the mystery flavour was just whatever was left in the machine. Like the machine would have an assortment of flavours going through it and somehow they would get mixed up. I don’t know the exact details. But that’s what the mystery flavour was. Allegedly.
I liked the butterscotch flavour as well. That’s peculiar because you wouldn’t think butterscotch would be good but…I don’t know. I liked it. And what other butterscotch stuff even exists? DumDums are a small sucker, by the way. Or “lolipop”. I have to explain regional differences in terminology like Newt.
I don’t even know what butterscotch is.
Oh. I’m looking at some Google images. Yeah, those candies that you’d get wrapped in celophane on Halloween. Those were fucking god awful. But I don’t know. The butterscotch DumDums were great.
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Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man on NES – Erin Plays
This is so absolute zero effort. She just did a video of an NES game starting with the letter “L”. Not coincidentally, she recently streamed the NES games that start with the letter “L”.
I’d like to point out that Erin’s previous video where she talked about controllers did remarkably poorly. Well, actually, I guess it only did poorly compared to her two recent videos on NES games starting with the letter “L”. Oh fuck. I hope that this doesn’t become her thing that she beats into the ground to try to get pennies.
She’s in her Hamburglar top. But not the Hamburglar top that was the inspiration for the banner. This is a short-sleeved Hamburglar top. She must really like black and white horizonontally-striped tops. Her choice of attire is just as boring as everything else she does. “I’d like a plain black and white, horizontally-striped top, please.”
0:00 – “I thought it would be fun to stream some Low G Man, the Low Gravity Man on NES.”
Oh. Fuck off. I’m already sick of this.
“I didn’t find out about this game until fairly recently because I’ve been doing some streams of NES games alphabetically.”
Wait…what? Is this really happening? Is Erin telling the truth about her experience with a video game for once? That she just played it once, on stream, for money? Is she finally taking my advice that I’ve been giving for the past four fucking years to do just that? To just stop the fucking lies and obfuscation?
She said that she played the game on stream, for money, liked it, and wants to play it again for a YouTube video.
Yeah. That’s all you had to fucking say, Erin. What was so hard about that? Is ShiShi unsubscribing right now? “Oh, she’s not a real gamer. I can’t watch this.” Erin…we all figured out that you’re not a real gamer on day one. Even the biggest fucking retard figured it out on the first day. Nobody cares. That’s not what they’re there for. They’re watching these videos with their pants around their ankles.
0:30 – “I really like little robots and I like Ed 209 from Robocop.”
This was a comment that she said right after an edit. She prepared this. She doesn’t fucking know who Ed 209. WHY WOULD SHE? WHY WOULD ANYONE?
But the horntards obviously told her that the robot in this game looks like Ed 209 so she’s mentioning it.
“This is little Ed 209s. Aren’t they cute?”
Eugh. Just stop making videos, Erin. ShiShi will find somebody else to jerk off to. I’ll do something else with my time. It will be the best thing for everybody.
2:15 – This part, if I remember correctly, the colour scheme is not good.
Fuck off.
“See? It’s a lot of magenta but not in a good way.”
Keep fucking.
2:30 – “I feel like…I don’t know. I like magenta and I like cyan.”
I’m about to stop the video. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth getting upset over this fucking moron talking about colours. She started the video being honest about her experience with the game. Fine. That’s enough for an article. I don’t have to watch all of this shit.
2:45 – “There’s jumpy little Slinky enemies. I think they’re adorable.”
Who’s the target audience for any of this commentary?
4:15 – “So I guess we’re saving hostages too? I’m not entirely sure what this level is about but that’s okay.”
IT IS OKAY, ERIN! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN SAYING ALL THIS TIME? IT’S THE FUCKING DISHONESTY THAT CONSTANTLY SPEWS FROM YOUR PUTRID MOUTH THAT’S THE PROBLEM. NOT THE FACT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES.
4:45 – She’s constantly shooting one of these “hostages” in a vehicle. CLEARLY the only way to rescue these people is after you lose your vehicle. The vehicle is a limited-time thing. I figured this out immediately, the first time I saw Erin do this. But she still doesn’t know what’s going on.
Then something pops up saying, “I eventually figured out that you have to be out of your vehicle to save them lol”.
7:00 – She’s talking about a drink called “fireball”. Alcoholic beverage, presumably. She says that she drank it in her 20s.
7:45 – “I hope there’s robots like this in the future. Well, maybe I don’t because these ones are trying to kill me. Okay, I hope there’s cute little robots in the future.”
It’s so beyond stupid that there’s nothing that I can even add.
11:45 – “So that was Low G Man on NES. I wish I could have gotten further but…”
But you only played the game once, on stream, for money. And you don’t play games in your spare times. Fine, Erin. Do you see how simple that was? Nothing is easier than telling the truth. Lying is difficult.
12:00 – Then there’s an edit and she’s playing the game again, on a different day, trying to beat some boss. Fuck. I don’t care.
She beats this boss then SUCKS GIANT PENIS on the next level and quickly gives up.
What a fucking waste of time that was. Why even include this in the video?
Then after some more painfully uninteresting commentary, the video FINALLY ends.
Holy shit that was terrible. But not nearly as bad as it could have been. The honesty makes a HUGE difference. Instead of her floundering around and me saying, “What do you mean you don’t know what you’re doing? You started the video by implying that you’ve played this game for years” I just say, “Oh. She sucks dick at the game because, as she said, she only played it briefly, on stream, for money. I can’t fault her for sucking then. It all makes sense.”
What does the good book have to say about honesty? I’m actually thinking not much.
There are six things that the LORD hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.– Proverbs 6:16–20
I’m not sure of the numbering on that one. Is it six or seven? And, perhaps connected, “lying” seems to appear twice.
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
– James 1:26
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What 4Chan Thinks of the Gamer Girls Blog in 2023
I did a post about this last year. As here:
Spoiler: I was a hit! Let’s see if I’m still all the rage with the hip, young 4Chan crowd.
Actually, what do you suppose the average age is of a 4Chan user is? I don’t think that the hip, young people are still going there. Certainly, they’re not going to the Cinemassacre forum that most if not all of these posts will be taken from.
I’m using this site to search:
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/
- “I don’t care how unhinged he is. This blog is kino. Reminds me of 00s internet. https://gamergirlsblog.com/ “
- “this guy is king of the truthers and truthers seethe at him. its hilarious.”
- “is the guy from irate game sucks blog the same guy or not?”
Somebody replies, “he’s not”.
- “hes based”
- “This is great, it is like a ‘what if the truther sub was funny’”
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/thread/188620517/#188628531
That was all from August 2023. “Kino”, “based”, all good things. “Unhinged”, maybe less so.
- “nah, this guy is worse: https://gamergirlsblog.com/ The only one complaining about JefferySweeney was Kieran, which I suspect is you.”
They were talking about obsessed people on TheCinemassacreTruth on Reddit. Then somebody replies:
- “oh shit, he’s back, I thought he got banned. looks like kino is back on the menu boys”
And he posts a screenshot of an article I wrote.
That was from this article:
That’s all I can find. I’ll tell you what these people don’t much care for, though: TheCinemassacreTruth. They’ve reached the same conclusion that I have about those folk: that they prefer the company of men.
Any shout outs to The Ideas Man?
- “he’s a retard that plagiarized other reviews because he couldn’t be bother to do a basic job.”
Yeah. Well, they know of him.
Virtually all of the comments are about how he’s a plagiarist. Come on, guys. He’s so much more than that. And plagiarism is one of the least of his vices.
If you want the Newt Wallen news, there’s only one source. His sexual deviancies, his autistic obsession with tits and gore, his stalking of horse-faced women, his abysmal writing abilities, his complete lack of ideas, his hiring of prostitutes, his phantom comic book, his parents rejecting him.
You know, it’s a terrible thing when parents reject their children and you immediately think, “These parents must be really awful people.” But in the case of Newt Wallen, you realise that this isn’t always the case. Sometimes there are perfectly valid reasons why parents reject their children.
But then you look at Jeffrey Dahmer, for example, and how his parents still visited him in prison and whatnot. Not even that guy was rejected by his parents. “Sure, he brutally raped and killed a lot of boys and young men, not to mention eating them, but that’s why pencils have erasers. He’s still our son and we have to support him.”
I don’t think that anybody would have blamed Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents for being too busy to visit him in prison. But they went.
Anyway, Newt’s parents reached their limit with that guy and I fully understand it. He’s a complete scumbag and you don’t want to deal with scumbags even if it’s your own son.
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Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2 – Announced… again! – Cannot be Tamed
Oh, how desperate Pam is in her “sexy” vampire outfit again. How did I miss this? It’s from three weeks ago. Oh right. I haven’t been looking at her channel.
By the way nowhere NEAR as much cleavage is being shown as in her original video. Let me find the original video for comparison purposes.
I’ll just sort her videos by most popular…here we go. First one.
It’s from five years ago. Pam, you have aged. No offence. We all have. But with you, we have video proof of it. I think your days of dressing up as a “sexy” vampire are now truly behind you.
1:15 – I’m still on the original video, by the way. Not this one from five years ago. Pam is doing a “reaction” to the trailer. That’s a hard pass. I’m skipping ahead.
Okay, I’m stopping the video at 4:30. She’s just talking in nerdy detail about this game that hasn’t even been released. And she’s not showing nearly enough cleavage for this to hold my interest. Indeed, she could be fully nude and I couldn’t listen to this.
- “woke vampires (yawn) another terrible game. kinda ironic since vampire mythology is about the blood sucking usurers.”
Pam replies, “You sound very stupid.”
Good argument, Pam. Well made.
I’ve never seen anybody hate their subscribers so much. And then she wonders why the channel hasn’t taken off. Because you actively hate the people who leave comments.
I get it. They’re horntards. But this is the business you got into. The tard-rangling industry. If you can’t appease the horntards, find another line of work.
Nobody ever replies back to Pam on these sorts of messages, by the way. She presumably bans them.
- “I hope for the best, but the combat-focused trailer and the fact that they go out of their way to call it an action RPG on their website has me a bit worried. Don’t get me wrong, better combat is a must-have, but it should never be the focus of a Bloodlines game.”
Pam replies, “How many game trailers have you seen focus on conversations and character builds?”
All this guy is doing is REPEATING a complaint that Pam herself made in the video. She said that she was disappointed that the trailer focused on combat instead of dialogue. So that’s what this guy says. He’s just repeating her argument. But then she replies, “What are you retarded? Of course the trailer was about combat. What trailer would be about dialogue?”
IT’S YOUR ARGUMENT, YOU DUMB BITCH! HE’S JUST REPEATING IT!
- “It is going to be woke trash just like every other modern “game.” Thankfully, the first game is timeless and continuously modded and patched.”
Pam replies, “You sound insufferable.”
A few people have commented on these woke vampires and Pam leaves the same insulting comments. But these people are completely right. And Pam doesn’t like when people speak the truth. At least in this regard.
Vampires talking about safe spaces and trans rights and supporting cancel culture doesn’t sound very authentically vampire-esque to me. Call me crazy. If they want to do it, it’s fine. You can have woke vampires. I suppose that vampires have a range of political views. But I can fully understand people not wanting to buy a game that has fucking woke vampires in it.
Pam doesn’t get it. Pam thinks that if you don’t want a game that has woke vampires in it, there’s something wrong with you. You’re stupid.
Maybe you’re the idiot, Pam. Maybe you’re the insufferable bitch who’s fucking her dog. Have you considered that?
- “Your a elder not a thin blood anymore”
Cutting comment from this guy that somehow got through her censorship. He’s referencing what I pointed out earlier: Pam is no spring chicken.
She’s just going to get more and more bitter as she gets older. And she was already extremely bitter. She was probably bitter as a child. It’s all downhill from here, Pam. Enjoy your dog.
- “I’m gamer girl crushing”
He actually said “gamer girl” non-ironically. Do people say that?
I’m looking at my most used tags. “Cannot be Tamed” is fifth. Here’s the order:
- Erin Plays
- Newt Wallen
- Cinemassacre
- Tony from Hack the Movies
- Cannot Be Tamed
- Destiny Fomo
- Mike Matei
- Crystal Quin
- Bobdunga
- *Nostalgia*
Mike Matei is only there because of videos that he does with Erin. I think I’ve done a couple of articles just about Mike but that’s it.
Anyway, it’s interesting that a lot of the people in the banner didn’t make the top ten. Retro Ali, Pelvic Gamer, John Riggs. Well, that’s only three, I guess. But guys are dominating the list.
They just put out better content. Let’s be honest. What are you going to watch: some dry as fuck, 90 minute anime “documentary” from crazy Bobdunga or Newt Wallen talking about fucking a dead chick in the ass? I know that his videos are deplorable but there’s no question that they’re more interesting. He’s actually trying to make interesting videos. These women are just cranking out the same old bullshit for the sake of it. They have an obligation. Dunkin Donuts Man style.
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How to fix the TERMINATOR franchise – Newt Wallen
Alright, quote, Ideas Man, end quote, let’s see what brilliant ruminations you have on the Terminator series. It needed better scripts after the second movie, right? That’s what I’m wagering on. Better scripts. And more tits.
Was there nudity in the first two Terminator films? Not that I can remember. I guess that the character is naked at the start of the second movie but you can’t see anything. And I’m obviously talking about breasts anyway.
I’m three minutes in. He’s been talking about comics. Not just Terminator comics but…whatever. Star Wars, Married with Children…what? Can we get to the point, please?
It’s something to do with a deleted scene from Terminator 3 where the Terminator was a general of the army. So he’s going that rip idea off. And he mentioned some newish Predator movie that went in a different direction so he’s going to rip that idea off. And…something to do with these comics from Now Publications that he read as a manbaby so he’s going to rip that off.
3:45 – I think it’s basically a Terminator movie but without Arnold Schwarzenegger. But didn’t they do that? Wasn’t that the third movie? But he doesn’t want John Connor or anyone else in this either. He wants all fresh characters focusing on different aspects of the Terminator mythology. Like the origin of Skynet or whatever. He stole that idea from the comics, he said.
4:00 – His first concrete idea is a movie exploring the first time that Skynet tried time travel. But he gets sent back too far. He gets sent back to the 1960s in Tuscon, Arizona.
Uhhhh…I’m already lost. Something about a character getting sent back in time, meeting the Terminator, who’s a Vietnam veteran…and he grew up in Nazi Germany and…what? The Terminator did all of this? A robot? Do I have this right? What the fuck is going on? There was a little baby robot born in Germany and at some point emigrated to the US and rose through the ranks of the US military to achieve the rank of general? At at no point did anybody realise that this was a robot? There was no physical ever conducted?
There’s something that I missed but there is NO WAY that I’m listening to this again.
Oh. I think it was a human who was played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. The general was a human. Maybe this is all explained in the deleted scene from Terminator 3 that Newt is referencing and plagiarising from.
7:00 – So anyway, there’s a primitive Terminator who goes back to the 1960s to kill this army general played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wait a minute. But why? It was sent back to the 1960s accidentally. It’s goal was always the same: to kill John Conner. So why is it now going after this military general?
Whatever. Anyway, this general, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, kills the Terminator and as the Terminator is dying, it scans Arnold Schwarzenegger’s face and that’s why the future Terminators look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Newt says that he’s had this idea since 2004. Uh huh. Well, it was a real humdinger.
His big idea is that this is the origin story of why Terminator looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. But why? Why did this T-100 scan the general’s face? And why did Skynet decide that this is what future Terminators should look like? Skynet just liked the look?
Was the general some kind of important person? I mean, what the fuck is this? What’s to be gained from having Terminators looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Or looking like that general?
Skynet later decided that Terminators shouldn’t look like big, roided up guys. They went with that slim look for the T-1000. A more natural-looking guy. Can fit into society better. Doesn’t draw attention. That was the better choice.
Maybe the Ideas Man can explain all of this. He’s been thinking about this for the past 20 years, after all. But to me it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
What if they sent a sexy stripper lady Terminator back in time to prevent the conception of John Connor? It goes without saying that she’d have big tits. And she’s there to seduce the father of John Connor so that the sperm that would become John Connor never enters Sarah Connor but instead goes into this lady Terminator’s mouth?
Although, I guess that this is just a reimagining of the first movie.
Let’s check out Newt’s Twitter.
ONE person replied. You know who it was? Gaunt Scarlet Harlot herself.
“Dreadful girl next door”. Well, that’s pretty accurate, I guess. She does look dreadful in these pictures.
Eugh. Go get a job, madam. Pornography is not for you.
Some drug shit. Confirms my crack whore theory.
She made a poll about what kind of “content” she should make on her OnlyFans and seemingly only one person voted. So double penetration with two vibrators it is.
What a sad way to try to make money. All the moreso because it’s completely unsuccessful.
It’s one thing to stick two dildos in you for money. It’s quite another thing to do it and nobody cares. Nobody’s paying for that.
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Utah Retro Game Swap had the Best Prices of Most Game Expos – John Riggs
He’s in Utah hoping to take advantage of their lax enforcement of polygamy laws. Just seeing the lay of the land. If it’s a place he might like to live with a couple of purple-haired freaks.
He has a booth. What does that mean? Just that he paid for a booth to sell shit, right? But…why would he bring all of his shit to Utah to sell? He presumably drove. That’s quite a drive from Washington, isn’t it? This can’t possibly be a money maker.
2:00 – There’s some old guy who was a voice in some video game, I guess, and NOBODY knows who he is. But he’s out there trying to hype the crowd. It’s embarassing.
3:45 – He says that he’s been a radio DJ for 23 years. I know that I’ve seen him on some local radio station’s website. But is this a full-time job? It can’t be because he’s constantly finding time to go to these nerd conventions.
8:00 – Some big mama is annoyed at John Riggs pawing through her bin of games.
8:15 – Some alleged hot chick is flirting with a horntard while her husband tries to sell a comic book to John Riggs.
10:30 – John Riggs says that it’s $5 to get in or $2 if you bring a can of food.
That is remarkably cheap at either price. But I vaguely remember stuff like this…where you could get in cheaper if you brought a can of food. I can’t remember exactly what, though. It was something for school, surely.
It strikes me as embarassing, though. Bringing food in to get a discount. Even though that’s presumably what the organisers prefer. Because it’s some charity thing. They want you do the legwork so that they can take all the glory when they deliver the food to the shelter or whatever.
I’m reminded of Horseface’s “heartwarming” charity Christmas story. Let’s see if I can find that. I’ll try keyword “shoes”.
Oh here we go.
Oh yeah. Horseface is yelling at a hypothetical impoverished ten year old for being “greedy”. There were a lot of gems in this one. She went to a shelter, saw that a baby wasn’t wearing shoes (why would they? They’re indoors) so she left and cried in her car FOR AN HOUR while the family she was there to drop her donation off were left scratching their heads. “Why did that horsefaced woman look at our baby’s feet and then run out of the room crying?”
11:35 – Is that a man or a woman behind John Riggs?
You know who’s an often overlooked victim in this whole “trans” thing? Unattractive women. In years past, you’d see an unattractive woman and think, “Oh god. That’s one homely woman.” But now you think, “Wait a minute. Is that a guy?”
At least in the past you recognised the person as a woman. Now you’re not even sure if the person has a penis or not. It’s a huge step down to have somebody question your gender. And you don’t know how to treat them. Do I treat this person as a woman, giving them the respect and consideration that I would give any woman regardless of appearance, or do I treat them as some wierd freak who’s a man in a dress? There’s a huge difference.
Anyway, then the video just ends.
- “That girl sitting next to the guy talking about his comic book is amazingly hot.”
I go out every day and…you always see attractive women. That woman in the video is not anything special.
I went out the other day, in broad daylight, and there was a woman with shorts so high up that probably 30% of her ass was showing. No exaggeration. I studied that ass and made the calculations.
These horntards would seemingly lose their minds if they saw that. But it’s just normal. Isn’t it? Isn’t this normal everywhere? I don’t think that Scotland is renowned for their hot chicks. But there are plenty. I’ve never been anywhere where this wasn’t common.
But you read these fucking comments and it’s like these guys just got out of prison. They’re going nuts over some mildly attractive woman.
And look at these allegedly “hot” Youtubers. It’s the most baffling thing in the fucking universe. Women who are considerably below average in appearance are presenting themselves as hot chicks and being treated by the horntards as hot chicks. Is it mass delusion?
You wouldn’t look at any of these women twice if you saw them on the street. But put them on a Youtube channel in front of some video games and suddenly they’re a hot chick? How does that work?
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The Horror of Crystal Quin’s Twitter
It’s that time of year again when the Horse-Faced Wraith of the Night terrorises the internet with her self-absorbed, boring as fuck content. You’ll crap your pants in tedium. Marvel at her unjustifiably high opinion of herself.
Don’t bother looking for the video. It’s a “members only” video from a channel that has 5,000 subscribers. Their videos get 300 views on average. And yet they think that they can justify having a members only section. For who? The two people who are members?
It’s some awful podcast about ghosts. What am I? Seven years old? Do a podcast on the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy while you’re at it.
Anyway, Horseface promotes these people A LOT. She must have some deal with them. She’ll get three cents for everybody who subscribes through her.
Here’s Horseface in Salem, Massachusetts. Did I ever tell my Salem, Massachusetts story? Well, it bears repeating.
I was looking for a job. And really desperate. So I applied to some job. I don’t remember what it was. But it was in Salem. So they called me and they said, “You can come in for an interview but are you sure you want to?” And I said, “Yeah, it’s no problem.” And the guy said, “But we’re in Salem.” I said, “Salem?” He said, “Yeah, you know, with the witches. It’s pretty far from where you live.” I didn’t know how far so I told that I’d be there. Then I looked it up and it was like two hours away so I said fuck that.
“Wait a minute. That story wasn’t remotely interesting.”
Relax. It will be the most interesting part of this article. Back to Horseface then.
I’m only posting this one because I’m glad to see that she’s wearing a full top. Maybe she should start wearing half-sweaters. But the good thing about the approaching winter is that it means no more Horseface in half a top. Right? She wouldn’t do that to us.
Eugh. You’re revolting Horseface. When is reality going to hit you?
She’s a big wrestling fan, guys. You know, that thing that ten year old boys enjoy.
There were so many conversations about wrestling at school in like the fourth to sixth grades. Talking about Randy Savage and Jimmy Snuka and Demolition and whatnot. Wrestling in the front lawn of my friend’s house.
But then you start getting interested in girls. So you begin to lose interest in watching a bunch of roided up, sweaty men play fighting.
Anyone over the age of 16 still watching wrestling has some real problems.
And today’s product is completely pussified. I was watching it in the 1990s when it was edgy and hot and geared to horny adolescents. Now the stuff is aimed at children. Children and sexless man babies.
You know how many females I’ve known who watched wrestling? One. She was a classmate of mine. She was really into sports. All kinds of sports. She’d watch this shit on tv. American football and whatever. And she grew up to be a hardcore butch lesbian. The signs were all there.
But now, you look at these nerd sites, and there’s always some woman trying to prey on nerds who claims that she likes wrestling. Oh, do tell. What about this brainless bullshit that’s geared to 7 year old boys do you find so appealing?
Total frauds every single one of them. These same women claim to be interested in video games, Star Trek, fucking Doctor Who. You name a nerd topic and they’ll pretend to be interested in it. Now give them money.
Hey, Horseface, it’s HORRORcon. Not WHOREcon.
Get it? Because Horseface likes those sexy ladies. And sexy ladies like Horseface. Because look at her. She’s a smoke show, young lady.
Revolting.
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WTF Wednesday Review: Guns Girls and Gambling (2012) review – Newt Wallen
As you may know, I’ve been working on a new nickname for this woman. I wasn’t happy with Skeletor. So after many hours of wrestling with these woke AI’s, I finally managed to get an appropriately insulting nickname for an underweight, red-haired prostitute: Gaunt Scarlet Harlot.
0:15 – “Alright, look who’s back.”
And she waves spastically. She doesn’t have a genuine bone in her body. And she’s slim enough that we ccan pretty well see most of her bones. She’s only interested in selling her body for money. A total fraud. A waste of a human being.
“We’re getting ready to go film a scene for Donald Farmer’s movie.”
Then she actually cups one of her tits. Not in an exaggerated way. But this is just what she does. It’s so common for her to try to sell her body that she probably doesn’t even know that she’s doing it.
0:30 – The Gaunt Scarlet Harlot says, “Guns, girls, and gambling: three of my favourite things.”
No charisma. No intellect. No sense of humour. No sincerity. None of this is getting my penis even slightly erect.
It’s just this old fucking whore, with an eating disorder, trying to titilate retards.
What does that comment even mean? Okay, I get the girls part. She’s pretending to be a sexy lesbian like it’s fucking 1992 when that was still a slightly exciting prospect.
But guns? I’m supposed to jerk off because she likes guns? And gambling? I don’t get it. And she doesn’t get it. Her comment made no fucking sense. She’s just saying things because in her mind they vaguely sound maybe slightly sexy. Come on, we have to make these retards cum. Just say whatever and hopefully we can get some pennies.
0:30 – Then she pulls her top down to show more cleavage. I’ve commented on this before. I have never seen this behaviour in my life. This is what she does. She constantly adjusts her top to show MORE cleavage.
She also keeps looking into the camera, presumably it’s showing how they look, and she’ll adjust herself so that her tits are better in frame. It’s constant.
1:15 – She says “Native American reservation.” You know that things are bad when even whores are bowing to PC culture. If you can’t even rely on a whore to say “Indian”, I think that this particular war has been lost.
I always just said “American Indian”. Because I don’t think that a lot of these people like the term “Native American”.
Let’s just go back to “Redskin Savage”. Why not? Wear it as a badge of honour. You’d be filling out the census form or whatever and the choices would be “White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, or Redskin Savage.”
Or you know how some people like to ask personal questions about your ethnicity if it’s not easily identifiable. “Are you southeast Asian or Filipino or –” “No, I’m a Redskin Savage.” “Holy shit. Really? That’s impressive.”
It would be HUGE for dating. Are you telling me that people wouldn’t want to date a Redskin Savage? Men and women would both benefit from this term.
1:45 – She’s again obviously showing off her tits. This doesn’t end. She’s not even focusing on what The Ideas Man is saying. She’s just obsessed with her own breasts. Well, somebody has to be, I guess.
2:15 – Newt calls a character “the Indian”. Please, Newt. Let’s be sensitive. They prefer to be called Redskin Savages.
2:30 – Gaunt Scarlet Harlot says that she loves The Rock and then makes an exaggerated dreamy face. What are we supposed to get out of this? Does she think that any of the horntards are built like The Rock? They’re more Mike Shaw.
And let’s say that you were built like The Rock. Would you give this woman the time of day? Get real. And anway she’s gay. She started this video by saying that girls are one of her three favourite things. Along with gun and gambling. That’s hot, right? Lesbian gun nuts with gambling problems.
3:15 – Gaunt Scarlet Harlot says that Newt’s cat likes her. Newt says, “She might think that you’re…you know, she liked you and she liked the other red-head.”
Newt…fucking stop with this shit. What is going to be achieved by constantly talking about Horseface? Tell me. Is Horseface going to be impressed with this? No. She’s going to continue to be creeped the fuck out. Is any woman going to be impressed with this? No. They’re going to be creeped the fuck out. So tell me what your plan is with this bullshit, Ideas Man. How is any of this going to get you a date? I know that you’re paying this woman but come on. Whores get creeped out too.
3:45 – Now Gaunt Scarlet Harlot is re-applying her makeup. Because that’s important. And throughout the video, when she wasn’t adjusting her top to show MORE cleavage, she was playing with her lip. Because that’s hot, I guess? I don’t know.
Watching these videos, it’s like entering some Bizarro world where thoroughly average-looking women AT BEST are somehow hot chicks. Gaunt Scarlet Harlot, Horseface, PVC Bondage Guy, Johanna, Mint Salad, I wouldn’t touch any of these women. For one thing, I’d be afraid of getting a social disease from them just from being in their vicinity. And their personalities are all repellant. But I’m saying just from appearance, they’re all hard passes from me.
This is apparently what passes for a hot chick in rural Pennsylvania. It’s a terrifying thought. What does the average person in rural Pennsylvania look like? It’s a state full of Quasimodos.
6:15 – “I wrote a female Escape from New York movie for my friend Abby…”
Newt, we don’t fucking care about your abysmal, plagiarised tits and gore scripts that will never go anywhere. Can we just end this video, please?
8:15 – Newt is talking about a prostitute character and Gaunt Scarlet Harlot says, “Don’t spoil it.”
Newt says, “So there’s tits in the movie so that’s great.” Then Gaunt Scarlet Harlot brushes her hair away from her chest, as she’s done CONSTANTLY throughout this video, to give a better shot of her tits.
It’s awful. All of this is awful, Newt. This woman has not said a single thing that’s even REMOTELY interesting. She’s a complete airhead.
8:45 – “It could have used a little more gore.”
Eugh. Newt, I’m done. I can’t take this boring fucking bullshit. I don’t want to hear every fucking movie being reduced to how much tits and gore it has in it. I’M AN ADULT!
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Let’s talk about controllers! – Erin Plays
Oh, Erin. You’re really spoiling us. Another video and only ten days after your last one.
It’s zero effort, of course. She’s just going to show controllers. But she’s a big video game fan. She knows a lot about controllers. Just look at the background of her Youtube closet, after all. It’s full of video game shit. What more proof do you need of Erin’s slavish devotion to video games?
0:00 – “Hey guys. Erin Plays here.”
She actually refers to herself as “Erin Plays”. How insane in that? Doesn’t she usually just say “Erin”?
She starts with the SN30 Pro from 8 Bit Do.
Oh, of course. That’s a classic. I remember as a kid playing on the SN30 Pro from 8 Bit Do. I used it on my SN30 Pro 64. Great controller, great console. So many memories. What a fantastic choice for the first controller to highlight.
This must be a fucking ad. Why would she start with this? Why not start with, “Hey, here’s the SNES controller. It’s pretty cute. Next”?
Nobody fucking has this. Nobody wants this.
0:30 – The 6 button Sega Genesis controller. Uh huh. Let’s hear it.
Oh. It’s from Retro Bit.
What the fuck is this? SHOW THE ORIGINAL CONTROLLERS, YOU DUMB BITCH. NOBODY WANTS THESE ADS.
1:15 – “Speaking of translucent eee-lectronics.”
It’s so fucking annoying. And she says “electronics” like ten times. Weirdly. She’s a big fan of the long “E” sound, guys.
But now she’s showing N64 controllers. The actual ones this time. She’s just talking about the colours. One is watermelon, the other is grape. We really needed to know that. You guys like colours, right?
Erin, I’m all about colours. But we can see them. I’m not fucking blind. I can see what the colours are. You don’t need to point them out.
2:00 – She told her mother that she wanted a “watermelon red” N64 to match the “watermelon red” controller that she had. But her mother declined, stating that Erin already has an N64.
Was Erin retarded? Why would she want another N64 just for the colour? The stupidity is off the fucking charts. Let’s just move on. I don’t want to get worked up over colours here.
2:30 – “Do you remember when this was new and people were debating, like, on how to hold it correctly?”
No, Erin.
I don’t actually remember anything about the Nintendo 64. I remember Atari 2600. I remember when the NES came out. I remember SNES. And then…it’s not until Playstation that I remember anything about console video games.
Wasn’t Playstation a contemporary of Nintendo 64? It was totally off my radar. What year was it out?
It was 1996. I would have been in college. But I bought a Playstation in like 1997 or 1998. I must not have even considered a Nintendo 64. It was considered a console for children.
I played it a lot in emulator form a few years later. There were a lot of good games. I played it even though the emulation was slow and buggy.
I did almost no Playstation emulation, though. There was that fucking Bleem. I had a pirated version of that. I don’t think that I ever got it to work. And I had ePSXe or whatever. But there weren’t really rom sites for Playstation games. You had to get ISOs from Kazaa or whatever. And the ISOs were big. Like 600mb or whatever. And I was on dialup.
They had what were called “mini ISO rips”, which stripped out the videos and other shit and lowered the file size to like 30 mb but only of a handful of games. Tekken 3 as a mini ISO rip was everywhere and I also managed to get Tenchu. But that was the extent of my Playstation emulation experience. Those two games.
On the other hand, I think that I had every N64 rom. You were able to get them from rom sites. Mame dot dk or JoseQ’s site or whatever. Downloading from rom sites was better than Kazaa because you could resume the downloads on websites (using Filezilla or something) but I don’t think that Kazaa allowed you to resume downloads. I could be wrong. There was just something that made websites better than file sharing programs.
3:00 – Erin says that the N64 controller is “iconic”. It’s one of her favourite words. Right up there with “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-lectronic”.
3:15 – Vectrex. She’s a big Vectrex fan, guys.
Why isn’t this done in any sort of order? Logically, she should have done this in chronological order. But no. She just does whatever because she puts no fucking effort into anything. Also, she doesn’t know the chronological order that these systems came out in.
4:15 – “Now let’s enter the world of NES controllers. That is Nintendo Entertainment System controllers.”
She’s proud of herself that she finally “remembered” what “NES” stands for.
4:45 – She doesn’t like some controller. She says, “Can you imagine playing Castlevania with this?”
Can you imagine talking about a different fucking game?
5:45 – Interesting pronunciation of Arkanoid. It’s Arkanoid, right? Not Arknoid? There’s an “A” in the middle, isn’t there? Not according to Miss Plays. She’s a big Arknoid fan.
6:30 – She finds it funny that some controller has three turbo settings. You know…exactly like the Turbo Grafx controller. She’s seen a Turbo Grafx controller, right? Because we know that she’s a big “PC Engine” fan. Same thing. Same controller. She must have seen it.
Then she talks about the various colours that this controller came in. AT CONSIDERABLE LENGTH. Fucking fuck off.
Then she says “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-lectronics” again. Dumb fucking bitch.
“You know what’s great about turbo controllers?” And then she says that it makes it so you don’t have to tap the button repeatedly. Well, no fucking shit. That’s the whole fucking point of them. Un-fucking-believeable.
By the way, all of these controllers that NES controlers that she’s showing are Mike’s. They’re a bunch of obscure controllers.
I’m only halfway through this video. Is this ever going to ever end? I’m about to give up.
8:45 – Nintendo Switch controller. So she really skipped a lot of generations of controllers. Like…a lot. I mean…no Atari stuff. No Sega Master System. No Sega Genesis (except for that ad in the beginning). No Turbo Grafx 16. No Playstation 1, 2, 3, or 4. No X-Box or any of the follow up consoles. No GameCube. No Dreamcast.
9:30 – “A Pingu controller. I love Pingu. I think it’s so cute.”
Here’s where we end the video. Go get a fucking job, Erin. I’m sick of this fake fucking bullshit. The constant god damn lies. And POINTLESS lies. WHO CARES if you like Pingu or not? NOBODY. Develop ACTUAL interests. It’s not that hard.