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HEALTH UPDATE – Newt Wallen
1:45 – He says that he’s had 13 concussions. This might explain what’s coming up.
4:15 – “It doesn’t help that I let the internet troll people get back at me because I made a mistake of sending a birthday gift to somebody who does not want to ever hear from me again, I guess that they told people and it opened a door to trolls coming at me.”
He’s talking about Horseface, presumably.
LEAVE HER ALONE, ASSHOLE! WHAT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? SHE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
It’s fucking unbelievable. She should be talking to the police, not Tony from Hack the Movies. When is he going to fucking figure this out? It’s been YEARS!
He’s harassing this woman. Doesn’t he get it? She doesn’t want your gifts, you piece of shit. She wants nothing to do with you. Even a giant scumbag like Horseface can recognise fellow scumbags and she’s not interested. Move on. You have your scumbag prostitute “friends”.
And Newt calls Justin or Tony or whoever told him to stop harassing Horseface “trolls”. No. Where’s the “trolling”? These are people who are rightly concerned about Horseface’s welfare.
I knew a woman and really liked her and I thought that we had a lot in common but then one day she just stopped replying to me. So what did I do? I said, “Well, that sucks. She could have at least said something. What a bitch” and I moved on.
Horseface at least had the courtesy to tell Newt to fuck off. She’s not interested. She’s told him this REPEATEDLY. I don’t think that she’s subtle about it. Newt. Fuck off. Leave Horseface alone.
She needs to change her address and phone number and secure all of her social media because this guy is not going to stop. It’s disgusting. And all the more disgusting because he’s obsessed with HORSEFACE of all people.
7:00 – “I had a nice long talk with Fallon the other day.”
A prostitute who he’s paying. She probably charged him for the talk too. I’m not even joking. Newt probably had to pay to talk to this whore.
“And long talk with Metz the other day.”
A woman with serious mental problems who Newt may or may not be paying. He has to be paying. She’s there all the time.
“Complete fucking strangers on the internet have reached out to me when my own fucking family hasn’t checked in on me to see how I am.”
Well, I believe that you’re not talking to your father because he voted for Trump. That was a red line for you. “Sorry, dad, you voted for one rich white man instead of the other rich white man. That’s going too far. I’m going to have to go no contact.”
And his mother knows that Newt is a piece of shit. How can you not? Even if you don’t watch the videos, this is a guy who sold his mother a copy of a tits and gore comic that he made. He made her PAY for it, which adds to the indignity. He made her say that she was proud of him. Proud of this tits and gore comic. And she was there with her like 10 year old grand daughter or something. I mean, come on. Can this be any more inappropriate?
7:45 – “It’s been like the Sword of Damacles. Over the past two years, something good happens and then somebody drops a line to an advertiser and they take that thing away from you.” Apparently some boner pill company withdrew their offer upon learning of Newt’s problems in the past.
The Sword of Plagiarcles. It is odd that a scam boner pill company won’t offer advertising because Newt plagiarised 31 Monster Madness scripts. Who really cares? Apparently, Blue Chew care. We only want reputable people to advertise our scam boner pills.
8:15 – “Hims reached out to me. I’ll totally pretend that my dong don’t work it it means getting paid for it.”
Now we have to think about Newt’s “dong”. Joe from Gamesack has to take a moment to pleasure himself.
8:45 – “I’m constantly chasing ghosts.”
Well, ghosts and Horseface. This guy probably has her whole routine mapped out. Watches her sleep.
- “Newt glad to hear you’re addressing your issues whether it be mental or physical health, talking definitely helps”
What is he addressing? John Hinckley Jr is watching these videos in prison and saying, “You know what? This Newt guy is going a little too far.”
He hasn’t changed at all. He’s the same scumbag he’s always been. He fucked his long time “friend”, the mentally impaired PVC Bondage Guy just recently. Because he wanted to. Even though he’s not interested in her. Just used her. This mentally ill woman.
Oh, but he’s really changed. He’s a great person. He’s going to talk about fucking a dead chick up the ass for another two hours. Then he’s going to continue his goal of plagiarising from every work in Western literature. Oh, and his prostitute “movies”. He’s a real swell guy.
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GHOSTBUSTERS: Frozen Empire REACTION VIDEO – Newt Wallen
0:00 – “Trailer review? I refuse.”
Zing! Take that, James Rolfe!
Newt is reviewing some trailer. I’m not really listening. I’m eating Haribo Jelly Babies. I’ve never seen these before. These are great. I think that I prefer them to the gummy bears. I prefer them to their Strawbs too. Big or normal. The normal Strawbs are better but I haven’t seen those in years. They’re squidgy but the big ones are…just flat. I demand squidgy Strawbs.
Newt is talking about Gozer or something.
Now he’s calling some theoretical person who didn’t like the trailer an “asshole”. Getting really angry about somebody who doesn’t even exist.
7:00 – “Take your negative fucking reaction videos and shove them up your ass.”
Okay.
So that’s the video.
Originally, I had a whole long fillibuster here talking about a project that I was working on, inspired by The Ideas Man himself. I wrote about it because I decided I wasn’t going to give up on it. But now I’m re-inspired so I am going to do it. But that necessitated deleting paragraphs of stuff where I talked about this.
So now what am I going to do? I’d disappoint dozens of people if I don’t write something. Let me look at these statistics.
I’ve been getting about 80 visitors a day. That’s up from 70 a few weeks ago. Organic growth.
Maybe I should advertise. But has it worked for Newt? He apparently bought ads on Facebook or something and then wasn’t happy with the results. It’s true. You’re not going to go to some random lunatic’s Youtube channel because you saw an ad on Facebook. And even if you did, you’re not going to like what you see. Some guy talking about movies and fucking a dead chick in the ass? Why on earth would I want to watch this?
Where would I even advertise? I think that my penetration of the Reddit Cinemassacre community is pretty saturated. What other audience would be interested? I can’t go on Erin’s channel and say, “Hey, come to my blog.” She’d delete it.
Besides, I call the people on Reddit gay and the commentators on Youtube retarded. I’m not going to endear people to the blog like this. This is anti-advertising.
Is John Riggs still shilling for bikes? No, it seems like he stopped after my article. It’s probably coincidental.
When I was a kid, there was like a six month period where scooters were cool and then suddenly everyone outgrew them. They weren’t the small, slim scooters of today, they were comparable to bicycles.
I had one but the tires had holes in them so just loads of caulk was put around the tires. I know that it’s “tyres” in British English, by the way, but I’m not doing that. But that’s really disappointing. You get a scooter and there’s fucking holes all over the tires. Why? Why didn’t they take it back to the store? Just fucking laziness.
Another time, I got a basketball. I was terrible at basketball but I was on the team at school. This was like fourth to seventh grade. I was the worst player by far.
So my father gets me a basketball and it’s a red, white, and blue Harlem Globetrotters type ball. I brought it to school once, the kids made fun of me, so never again.
Why didn’t he just get me a regular basketball? I expect this shit from my mother because she’s an immigrant but my father was born and raised in the US. He should know how things are done. Just get a fucking regularly organge basketball. I’m not fucking Curly Neal.
Another time, I brought my baseball glove to school. It was a toy. It was not a real baseball glove. It was plastic. But for some reason, I had to bring a glove to school. I think for gym. We were playing….something that required a glove, but it couldn’t have been baseball. Maybe I just brought it to play…whatever that game is where you bounce a tennis ball off the wall and it’s similar to baseball. We used to play this at recess. People used their gloves for this.
But everyone else was in Little League. They had actual gloves.
So I didn’t want to bring this toy. So I remember hiding it under my shirt on my way out of my home and my mother got furious. “DON’T MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WITH HUNCHED BACKS.”
What? Where was she living where hunchbacks were a real thing that she witnessed? The thought didn’t even occur to me. I wasn’t trying to make fun of Quasimodo. I just didn’t want to bring this toy glove to school.
But I did and people made fun of me.
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Point and Drink Adventure Episode 19 – Not Halloween – CannotBeTamed
As much as I hate this podcast, I have to keep watching. I have an obligation. I’m the only one watching this thing. If I stop, it goes away.
That said, Zap Cristal would kill for these numbers. This episode is at about 800 views after two weeks. Zap gets about a quarter or a third of that number.
0:45 – Pele says that Pam has been watching a lot of Sex and the City recently. Pam is all about those sexy ladies. Well, I don’t know how sexy the ladies are on that show. But she’s all about lesbian film and tv shows. Not overtly lesbian stuff but the veiled stuff.
You know what it’s like? Gay men who go after straight men. There’s a certain predatory appeal for these guys.
Because Pam isn’t watching Rosie O’Donnell movies or shit like this. She’s watching Showgirls and stuff that’s ostensibly for heterosexual men. Pele, same thing.
3:45 – Pele describes herself and Pam as a couple of single gals in their late 30s. Pam, who’s over 40, looks uncomfortable and says, “Well…”
But they’re not single. They’re in a relationship with each other. This is just more weird pretending to be heterosexual shit. They’re playing some game.
Umm…I’m about done with the podcast. Do I want to watch any more? Let me look at the time stamps.
Fuck. No. No, I don’t. They’re just talking about movies that they watched recently. Movies that I don’t care about. I’ll just leave this on as background noise while I play a game. Maybe they’ll…I don’t know…say something interesting. But what are the odds? It’s a billion to one.
8:45 – Pam is talking about Anne of Green Gables. Okay, I can work with this.
I haven’t thought about this since I was a kid. My sisters would watch it so I’d watch it too. It was on all the time. Seemingly. It was on PBS. I assumed that it was a British show, but looking it up, it’s Canadian.
And there were a bunch of sequels.
Yeah, I remember this annoying girl. I can see the appeal for Pam. Reminds me of the uppity girl from True Grit. Although, it kind of works for True Grit. That’s the character. She’s a bitch. I don’t think you’re supposed to like her.
Oh, The Railway Children. Similar thing there. You have that uppity bitch with that cut glass accent. I don’t want to watch this. Come on.
Same thing with Anne of Green Gables.
9:00 – Pele asks if there were a lot of “boobs” in the movie that Pam saw. Go fucking masturbate before you make the video. This is embarrassing.
13:30 – Pam is talking about some anime she watched. God. Come on.
17:00 – Pele keeps talking about how much sex she wants to have with some guy in some movie. Uh huh. Sure you do, Pele. You’re totally heterosexual.
I’m turning this off. I made it to 24 minutes. Pam can not have a conversation to save her life.
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Retro Ali is Working in Disney World
This is surprising. I thought that she lived in…what’s that meth capital….oh, Baltimore. How far is Baltimore from Disney World? She must have relocated. You’re not doing that kind of commute.
Wow. I had no idea that Maryland was so far north. I thought it was a Southern state. It’s 900 miles from Baltimore, Maryland to Orlando, Florida.
She moved for this. To work in Disney World. A company infamous for their low pay and union-busting activities. Unbelieveable.
I suppose that there’s always a steady stream of emotionally-stunted complete dopes who are willing to work for peanuts in order to be around people dressed as their childhood cartoon favourites. Who needs a fair wage when you can high five some immigrant in a Pluto costume?
She’s in her early to mid 30s. She thought that this was a suitable career path. Poverty wage bullshit in the Happiest Place on Earth.
Super Awkward Gal works in Disneyland and she’s complained in the past about the low wages. But more recently, she’s been singing the praises of the company and how “food and beverage” is her life’s goal realised. So maybe there’s some sort of indoctrination programme.
I’ve been looking for work myself. It hasn’t been going well. I sent maybe 20 resumes out, which isn’t much, but I’m applying to every job that I’m qualified for in my field. Not just random bullshit. They’re all pretty much entry level jobs. No interviews.
I did apply to a somewhat more senior position recently and they seemed to treat my resume with more respect. Maybe something will come of that. Maybe this is the problem. People don’t think that I would be interested in an entry level job. But of course, that’s not the reality. People need work and they’ll take whatever. You can’t wait for a CEO position to become available and there aren’t enough CEO positions available for everyone.
I suspect that ageism is a factor as well.
If worse comes to worse, I have a skill. I can do home-based work but it doesn’t pay very well and I wouldn’t want to work from home all the time. Although, if I go down this route, I’d be able to move where ever I want, which could lead to some exciting adventures.
Retro Ali is excited about her job. She compares it to the first day of school.
I don’t remember ever being excited for the first day of school. The last day, sure. But the first?
I remember having thoughts like, “God, I was such an idiot last year. I didn’t even know how to do fractions or cursive writing or…” whatever. Reflecting back on what I was learning this year in school compared to where I was at last year.
Every year, for a few years in middle school I would have this thought. Then it ended. There weren’t any big scholastic milestones, I guess. But imagine if that had kept up, every year you were learning something big and exciting to the point where you thought you were an idiot last year for not knowing it. I’d be building my own rocketship now.
Ali thinks that the Venezuelan immigrant woman in that Mickey Mouse costume is her boss.
And she’s going to Disney University, one of the most prestigious universities in the country. Let me look this up.
Apparently, it is a place where actual college students can go. Kind of? Something? But it’s not accredited. And employees have to go to this thing for their first day of orientation.
Orientation. Fuck you. I’m not a “team member”. They use some similar derrogatory term in Disney World. “Cast member” or something. No. I’m working here. I’m a worker. Can you afford me that level of diginity? No, they want to con you into thinking that we’re all in this together. The CEO of Disney is making millions and you’re eating cat food but we’re all on the same team here. Don’t get any class struggle ideas in your little head.
And her badge gives her home city. I was right that she’s from Maryland. She censored the city. But I had this same shit at some dogshit casino job that I worked at. We had to wear name badges and they put your home city on there. “It’s a way for the patrons to be able to connect with you. Oh, you’re from such and such city? I’ve been there!”
I don’t want to “connect” with the “patrons”. They’re scumbags and you’re a scumbag. I’m just here to do a job. Not make the casino experience special for these degenerate gamblers and dementia patients who you bus in here.
They try to cram a bunch of corporate propaganda down your throat. “People. Product. Profit.” Those were the three “P’s” that we were supposed to focus on. At this job that pays eight bucks an hour? What the fuck do I care about your profit? Share some of that profit with me and then maybe I’ll take an interest.
But Retro Ali isn’t a switched on worker so she swallows this shit whole.
And here’s Retro Ali with another exploited immigrant.
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What if you Shilled for a Bike and Nobody Watched? – John Riggs
JOHN RIGGS has been making A LOT of videos about electric bicycles and scooters of late. They’re 100% advertisements. “Use my promo code”. “Use my affiliate link” “They sent me a bike to review.”
NOBODY is watching these videos.
It all started with this video that I reviewed here:
It was an ad, I knew it was an ad, but I appreciated that it was something different. Because I’m not really interested in listening to people talking about video games.
In the video, John Riggs says that he’s never ridden a bicycle before and he basically says that his opinion is worthless. It’s true.
So what did these bicycle companies do when they saw that video? Flooded him with bicycles for him to “review”. “Who better to review our bicycles than a fat, middle aged man who never rode a bicycle in his life? And his audience is all obese, middle aged, unmarried men with no children who live in their mothers’ basements and would have heart attacks if they ever attempted any form of exercise.”
John Riggs accepted all of these free bicycles because he has no integrity whatsoever. He will shill for absolutely anything. He shilled for things that were CLEARLY scams, such as that company that offered you “shares” in somebody’s smelly old pair of sneakers, and openly admitted in the comments that they were scams and it’s for the viewer to do their own research.
But the best thing is that nobody is watching these videos.
Here’s the second one he did. It got 5,000 views. Not too bad for an advertisement.
It’s basically a mobility scooter. Actually, this might be a suitable product for John Riggs to shill for. He’s a big fat guy who could probably use a mobility scooter as are most of his audience. He posted that on 28 September.
20 October he posts another bicycle review. 2,500 views, 17 comments. Things aren’t looking good, John. People seem to be catching on that these are ads and they don’t like it. Not one bit.
He leaves a comment:
- “I’m still doing videos on video games, too, I promise, but I really got into these electric bikes and electric scooters recently.”
Somebody calls him out on this, “Is that why you link to buy with a code? Because you’re super into them?”
It’s bullshit. John Riggs is a lying fuck who will shill for ANYTHING.
Here’s the next one. 30 October, so ten days after the last video. 2,300 views.
The comments are full of vitriol.
- “Your content is getting dull”
- “Boring, your channel is becoming to heavy with promos….”
- “Another sponsorship video that has nothing to do with games….channel is getting stale”
- “Do you really need money this badly bro?”
John Riggs replies, “Nope, I didn’t get paid for this.”
The original poster comes back with, “you have an affiliate link if people buy it. ‘I didn’t get paid up front for it’* Fixed it for you”
Somebody else says, “he likely got it for free”
Of course that’s the case. He’s getting all of this shit for free in exchange for an “honest review”. An “honest review” as long as it’s positive or else that’s the last bike you’re getting.
- “John, love you and love your content but, too many promo vids in such a short space of time? I’m not gonna be nasty like some people have been but, could these not be spaced out more? Also, please bring back open cart surgery!”
John Riggs replies, “OCS tomorrow 🙂 And I love ebikes and escooters.”
Which is obviously bullshit. He’s just doing this because they’re sending him this shit for free.
So somebody else replies, “$1700 ebikes don’t pay for themselves!”
Another person says, “To be fair, I think we’d all be less critical if it was a Ferrari. What do you think John? Maybe give them a call?”
John Riggs, ever the shameless shill, says, “I know, I review one bike, then other companies reach out asking to send theirs. It happened when I reviews projectors and monitors and recently those mini pcs. I should review a rolex and see what happens.”
Hey, if somebody sends me an expensive product, I have to make a video on it. It’s just common sense. What do you want me to say? “No”? Don’t be ridiculous.
- “Only commenting out of respect for the channel — the e-bike content feels like just taking advantage of us, the passionate retro video game and nostalgia audience, to get some unrelated expensive stuff for free. You could always start a new e-bike channel but that wouldn’t have enough followers to get the free bike for review. It’s not that deep but, it does feel like we’re being used”
Some lunatic replies, “what a weird take”
How? That guy was dead on. That’s exactly what’s happening here. What the fuck do electric bicycles have to do with video games? He’s only doing this because, inexplicably, these companies are sending him the bicycles for free in return for an “honest” (positive) “review”. From a guy who’s never ridden a bicycle before.
So John Riggs replies, “I plan on starting a new channel just for ebike and escooter stuff. But I’ve also done other non-gaming reviews on this channel in the past, too. A little for everyone. I appreciate the concern, though. Many share your sentiment.”
He plans on creating a channel consisting of nothing but advertisements. Let’s see how that works out.
Why can he not admit that these are advertisements? Everybody knows it. This is not a little side project passion of his. We can see the affiliate links. We can see the promo codes. We can see that you were given these bikes in exchange for an ad. Don’t try to portray it as some innocent hobby of yours that you want to share. It’s insulting to our intelligence.
- “A few to many sponsored videoes off and on topic these days, just my two cents”
- “Yeah but I get it. Imagine you could get your kids a free bike by just reviewing one for ten minutes”
Do they need ten bicycles?
So the guy comes back, “my worry would be that my subscribers grew tired and started to unsubcribe”
John Riggs says, “Ialso do cereal reviews and travel videos. I don’t always do video game stuff (though it’s what I mostly do) I have a new passion for these electric bikes and scooters.”
This fat fuck could not be honest if his life depended on it. Fortunately, he gets called out yet again.
- “you’ve never one time mentioned it before the sponsorship.”
- “of course you would ‘gain a passion’ if you are being given bikes for sponsorship”
John Riggs says, “Sorry for the confusion. This was not a paid promo, I do love ebikes and scooters, just like I like old video games, just like I like breakfast cereal, just like I like to fix broken games, just like I like new indie titles on Switch and other modern consoles. If you happen to see a thumbnail or headline for one of my videos talking about something that doesn’t interest you, it’s okay to skip it as there are always more Open Cart Surgery videos coming up.”
These are ads, you lying piece of shit. Stop claiming otherwise.
He posted this THE NEXT DAY.
- “Please quote reviewing scooters and bikes….you a game channel…. unsubscribe may be in order.”
John Riggs says, “You have the luxury to unsubscribe anytime, and I’ll always be around if you get curious enough to check out my channel again when it pops up talking about cereal or travel or video games or indie games or VR or whatever else I do on my channel.”
Doesn’t care that his subscribers are livid over this barrage of ads, he’s going to stay the course.
Next day, another ad for bicycles. 442 views at this point.
Only two comments. One is John Riggs giving an affiliate link. The other is, “This isnt appearing in anyones subscriptions for some reason”.
Maybe Youtube flags ad videos and won’t put them in the subscription feed. That would be useful.
Another day, another bike ad.
- “How long have you been talking about PEVs? I have a few myself and let me tell you, I thought collecting video games would be my most expensive hobby”
John Riggs replies, “only recently. I got into them. I’m doing a few on this channel but putting them all in an ebike/escooter channel soon.”
He flat out refuses to admit that these are ads. He insists on pretending that this is his new hobby. It just happens to coincide with the sudden surge of free bikes that he’s been getting in exchange for doing these ads.
Next day, we get yet another delightful ad for bicycles. Or scooters or whatever you want to send to John Riggs in exchange for an ad. Jes-Extender should get in touch.
- “How many motorized scooters or bikes do you have now?”
John Riggs replies, “haha, about 10, but plan on donating some for charity and Christmas coming up in December.”
He’s not donating shit. Why would he? These are all going on Ebay.
So that’s the latest ad. He posted it today. As long as companies keep sending him bikes, we can expect more of this “content” every day.
Just admit that these are ads. Can you at least do that? The people who leave comments on his channel are typically not retarded. It’s a welcome change from the genuine retards who Erin and the like seem to attract. We all know that they’re ads. It’s preposterous to say otherwise. You look like a fucking idiot by denying it and it’s insulting that you think we’re going to believe such blatant lies.
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I found my rare DREAM Sega Dreamcast game in this huge retro game store! – Lydgendary
Oh baby. She’s spoiling us with another video. She usually puts out a video about once a month but this one is three weeks after her last one.
0:00 – “Do you ever get that feeling that you just never have enough games to play?”
No. No, I don’t. I’m an adult male. And by the abysmal standards of the retro video game community, a reasonably well-adjusted one. But please tell me more.
She’s in Swindon “looking for new games to play.” Uh huh. Tell me that that wasn’t intentionally suggestive. I’m all for it, though.
Where is Swindon anyway? Between Bristol and London. I knew a guy from Bristol. What a piece of shit he was. I just knew him from some band’s website. He was some greasy, fat fuck who had a fat girlfriend and he was always trying to get with some skank who would flirt with him, much to his girlfriend’s chagrin. And he read a lot of books about serial killers.
Then he died, he was probably in his early 30s, I don’t know the cause of death, but everybody started talking about what a great guy he was. Everyone HATED him when he was alive. It wasn’t just me. He was a complete degnerate. But then he died and it was all, “Oh, I sure do miss that piece of shit who was constantly shitty to his girlfriend and talking about serial killers.”
Back to the video. Some reggae music is playing while Lydia is filming some video game shop. Interesting choice of music.
4:00 – It mercifully ends and she’s back home now. Showing off the goods.
One day I’m going to figure out what that thing is in her ear. It has to be for fashion. Could it possible be a hearing aid? A lilac hearing aid? Maybe it’s a fashionable hearing aid.
5:15 – Dune. She expresses her love of the franchise. I too enjoyed the books and to a much lesser extent the Sting movie, and to an even lesser extent, the game. She compares it to Civilization, which is inaccurate. It’s a real-time strategy game so more akin to Age of Empires as opposed to the turn-based strategy of Civilization, but we’re just here to looks her tits and listen to her lovely accent.
5:30 – Crazy Taxi 2. I had this game too. It was okay, I guess. I had a burned copy for my Dreamcast. It just came with the system. I got it from Ebay.
6:00 – Fatal Fury. I played this as well. I played all of the Neo Geo games using an emulator. I was really into it. I don’t even like fighting games but I was obsessed with getting all of the Neo Geo games. In rom form, obviously.
6:15 – She compares it to Streets of Rage and Street Fighter. Umm…Streets of Rage being a side-scrolling beat em up. Umm…okay. I’ll overlook it. Both games involve kicking and punching. I get it.
7:00 – Skies of Arcadia. She gave the price she paid for every other game, but not this one. She says that she’s excited to play it. Well, let me introduce you to the wild world of emulation, Lydia. The game seems to be about £100 on Ebay. Could have saved you some money.
Then she shows the four games she got in more detail. Zoop was the fourth game, by the way.
9:45 – On the Dune cover, it says that it’s from Command and Conquer so she corrects her earlier statement where she said that the game was like Civilization.
11:00 – She describes the manual as “lovely and chunky”. She could be describing herself. I would eat that chunky ass all day.
She ends the video by soliciting game suggestions from the horntards. She also suggests that you follow her on social media.
Well…let’s prepare to be disappointed by checking out her Twitter.
It’s mostly just her advertising her Youtube videos and holding up pictures of video games that she talks about in the videos. She also went to a “gig” so at least it wasn’t entirely promotional material.
Oh, she’s also on Patreon. Five “patrons”. For £15/month you can play a game with her and the other “patrons” (of which I think there are none at this tier level) once a month. Probably Mario Kart, she says.
I’ve suggested this sort of thing many times. Charge people $5 or whatever to play a game with you online on Twitch. That was my suggestion, anyway. It doesn’t have to be on Twitch. It can be private.
But now that I see it being offered…it’s pretty sad. Pretty really sad. She doesn’t want to do this. That’s why you have to pay her £15/month. It’s just lonely nerds buying a friend for a short while, once a month.
She hasn’t uploaded a new video on Patreon in nearly two years. So you won’t get any exclusive content.
What if she was topless and playing the game with you? Would that be worth £15? Maybe. I still wouldn’t do it, though. It’s pathetic.
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Revealing Our Top Video-Game Crushes – Zap Cristal
It starts with a PAINFULLY uncomfortable exchange between Zap and Mr Wright Way II where Zap talks about wanting to make a confession and Mr Wright Way II gets increasingly aggressive in his speech as Zap gets increasingly nervous. They’re talking about their video game “crushes” but it’s being suggested that she’s going to talk about cheating on him or something.
This is all worrying knowing Zap’s preference for aggressive, controlling black men. She claims that the original Mr Wright Way was controlling and aggressive. She claims that other men she may or may not have been married to were controlling and aggressive to the point where they tried to kill her. And now she’s “joking” about this with this current black man who’s she’s married to who may or may not be controlling and aggressive.
This is comedy in her mind? Making light of domestic abuse?
3:00 – So Mr Wright Way II says that he wants to have sex with Lara Croft. Or possibly wants to be in an aggressive and controlling relationship with her. Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal also wants to have sex with Lara Croft.
Guys…I don’t think that Lara Croft is interested in either of you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she can do way better than you two losers.
These are BORING. Spend some fucking time on this shit.
I think I’d go with Zonk, from Air Zonk, when he morphs with Moo Moo but only in the Japanese version, not the censored American version.
She/he shoots milk out of his/her cybernetic tits/udders. I’m all about that.
3:15 – Mr Wright Way II cites Lara Croft’s ability to shoot and stab people as character traits that he finds appealing. This is really getting disturbing.
And this fucking loud music. It’s awful.
4:15 – Zap picks Connor from Assassin’s Creed. Whoever that is.
Oh. It’s a white guy. Come on. Who are you kidding with this?
She should have picked Big Smoke from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. That seems to be her type.
6:45 – Mr Wright Way II starts talking about how hot mixed race people are. Creepy.
7:15 – Bayonetta is Mr Wright Way II’s second pick. I don’t know who this is either. I’m all about the PC Master Race.
8:30 – He starts talking about his fondness for this character because she knows how to shoot. Again with this?
My Air Zonk example was obvious and, in the scheme of things, totally normal. A ladyboy cyborg who shoots milk out of his/her tits. The sexual appeal of this is clear.
I didn’t get into the, “Oh, I really like how Moo Moo/Air Zonk would be able able to kill people” because I’m not a psychopath. If Moo Moo/Air Zonk was with me, his/her killing days would be over. I’d be too busy enjoying those robotic tits, getting soaked in milk. He/she wouldn’t have time to continue his/her mission of saving the planet.
10:00 – Super creep show shit from Mr Wright Way II about how women are “sexual beings” and they shouldn’t be ashamed to “cover their curves”. He’s talking about a video game character.
11:30 – Zap’s second choice is Heisenberg from Resident Evil.
No. I’m rejecting all of this.
This is a woman who married a series of black men and yet both of her choices were white men.
Who would be some Hispanic video game characters who Mr Wright Way II could choose? I’m struggling to think of any Hispanic video game characters. Let me DuckDuckGo this.
Oh, Carmen Sandiego. I guess. I never really thought of her as Hispanic but the name seems to suggest as much.
Maya from Killer Instinct. Yeah, I’d give her some loving.
So let me skip ahead in this god awful podcast.
They still seem to be talking about this shit at the 40 minute mark.
1:00:00 – “If you’ve been enjoying this podcast, if you’re a fan of the Reset and Zap podcast.”
Come on. She’s literally addressing an audience of zero.
Then she shills for Mr Wright Way II’s “album”. It’s the music that LOUDLY plays in the background of every podcast. That was the whole point of inserting this music even though it MASSIVELY takes away from an already awful podcast.
Nobody is watching this podcast. People hate it like poison. She used to get maybe 5,000 to 10,000 views on average for her videos. Now that she switched over to the podcast format, she gets about 500 – 1000. She lost 90% of her audience. I’m the only one watching this. You’re the only one reading this.
The original Mr Wright Way really dodged a bullet with this lunatic.
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WTF Wednesday Review: HEBEGB TV – Newt Wallen
I wonder why this video got so many views. It’s at nearly 5,000 views and most of his recent WTF Wednesday videos are only at about 2,000. And they had whores in them. Whores bring in the views, or so you would think.
But this one is just The Ideas Man. What even is this that he’s talking about? Some “movie” I guess that’s so non-noteworthy that there’s almost no information about it on the whole of the internet.
0:00 – “It is November 1 so you fuckers better have paid your rent.”
Is rent due on the first of the month in the US? I only rented one place in the US and I don’t remember how it worked. But certainly in the UK, from all of my experience, rent is due on whatever the day is that you moved in.
Why is Newt still renting anyway? He’s lived in the Pennsylvania, rural or otherwise, for many years. And he’s from there. Is he planning on moving any time soon?
I regret not buying a place. I kept thinking, “I’m going to leave the country any day now” but it’s been 20 years.
And even if I did move, it’s not like the money you spent on the property just disappears. You can sell it. And chances are the the price of the property has gone up since you bought it.
I was going to buy a place shortly after covid. You need a lawyer but the lawyer doesn’t get paid unless the sale goes through.
There was a particular housing development that I liked. I lived in a couple of properties in this development and I noticed that they went on sale every few months and it was within my budget.
This law firm pawns me off to a paralegal, by the way. I didn’t have a lot of questions but I had a couple. I never bought a property before.
So I view the property and it looked fine. But I told the paralegal that I don’t really know what I was supposed to be looking for. Should I have brought a handman with me or what? And she said, “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” Oh.
So I did some research online. I looked at recent sale prices of properties in this development. And I gave her a figure in line with these recent sales and asked if that would be a reasonable first offer. She said, “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” Oh.
Every single question came back with “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” YOU’RE THERE TO GIVE ADVICE, YOU DUMB BITCH. YOU DON’T GET PAID UNLESS THE SALE GOES THROUGH.
She uses some legal term that I’ve never seen before so I asked her to clarify what she meant. No response. So I just DuckDuckGo’d it and had to guess what she was talking about.
I make an offer and the offer was rejected. The seller said that they’re going to set a deadline for final offers in a week.
I said fuck it. I’m done with this. You have this completely incompetent paralegal who refuses to do ANYTHING. Just give some advice from your years of experience of purchasing property, you fucking cretin.
The day before the deadline, she contacts me. “Do you want to make an offer?” I responded with one word: “No.”
There were only two people interested in the property. Me and somebody else. The winning “bid” was like £1,000 more than what I offered.
Completely useless. And then the price of properties skyrocketed right after that. I had the perfect property at a price that I could afford and this incompetent buffoon ruined it.
0:15 – “Last weekend, I was in Delaware filming”…some fucking tits and gore piece of shit that nobody is ever going to watch.
He’s describing who the big time “actors” are in this thing. “Fallon from Fallon”.
What are you talking about, Newt? Fallon from Sucks 2 Suck. Whatever happened with that movie?
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sucks2suck-completion-fund#/
Thirty-seven people donated a total of $3,100. In January 2023, they started filming. Where’s the movie?
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm14226740/
According to my favourite actress, the fat chick who appeared in a video with Fallon and Newt, the movie is “in production”.
Well, where are the updates? Where’s the official website? Can you at least say something about this on Twitter?
We were promised Fallon’s tits and a groundbreaking new take on the vampire genre. They’ve failed to deliver.
Speaking of failed projects, where’s fucking Florida Man Saves Christmas? Last I heard, he was saying it was going to be available for this Christmas. Newt…it’s November. I’m doing my Christmas shopping. Show me Florida Man Saves Christmas.
He promised it for last Christmas. And before that, he had various promised dates that came and went. This is worse than Image Comics in the 1990s.
Last I heard, he said that he wants six issues completed. What? Why? Just release one and see how it sells.
And people don’t want to buy six comics at once. The typical release schedule is once a month. For a small time operation like this, people would be content with bi-monthly or even quarterly. But it makes no fucking sense to sell six issues at all once.
Also, consider that a lot of people who buy comics are children. I’m sure that Florida Man Saves Christmas is the talk of playgrounds all over the country. They’re all eagerly awaiting for the comic to be released. But they can’t afford to buy six comics all at once. They’re saving their allowance. Five bucks a week or whatever. It’s a big investment for them.
0:45 – So Newt describes this movie, which he has no involvement with, as “A horror version of UHF with a Pee Wee Herman vibe as well.”
This is how he describes everything. “It’s this existing propertly combined with this existing property.”
His mind is hard-wired for plagiarism. He’s INCAPABLE of coming up with anything new. The so-called “Ideas Man”. Yeah, other people’s ideas.
Then he describes the movie as a billion other movies. Newt…GET ON WITH IT. Can you describe what the movie is about WITHOUT referring to other movies?
Newt went on to talk about the movie, mostly by referencing other movies. Then the video ended. I was playing a game while all of this was going on so only halfway listening. But yeah, I won’t be tracking down this piece of shit.
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THE BEST JRPG PROTAGONISTS – Pelvic Gaming
0:00 – “One of the most grandfathered assed concepts of JRPGs is the silent protagonist.”
That’s what she said, right? “Grandfathered assed”? Okay.
0:10 – Jump scare. I mean…come on.
You know what this is like? It’s like James Rolfe making a shitty movie and then saying, “Hey, come on guys. That was the whole point. I was TRYING to make a shitty movie.”
It’s his coping strategy. He knows that he can’t make a good movie so he pretends that he intentionally made a shit movie.
Pelvic Gamer is not an attractive woman. So what she does it make herself look ridiculously unattractive. Then she can say, “Hey, come on guys. That was the look that I was going for.”
And her description here is “G4m3rG1rl”. Uh huh.
0:30 – “You like my uneven space buns? Thanks.”
“Guys, I’m really unattractive but it’s INTENTIONAL. Get it?”
Okay, well you pulled that look off great. You really nailed it. In your next video, I’d like to see you looking presentable.
She won’t do it.
It’s also like fat chicks dressing as goths, I guess.
2:15 – She posts random pictures of herself with other people. One of them is her ruining a woman’s wedding by putting her hair in some preposterous “hey, look at how unattractive I am” afro.
I have to stop the video. I made it to 5:30. She says the numbers in an intentionally annoying way. Just like she makes herself look intentionally unattractive.
Yeah. I have respect for the audience. I realised that it’s just a usual boring as fuck Pelvic Gamer video and I couldn’t get anything out of it so I cut my losses.
Compare this to Tony from Hack the Movies who has no respect for either the audience or autistic orphans. He’s been putting out two hour videos lately. Two hours of Tony summarising a horror movie. Show me the person who wants to watch this.
And he has a four hour compilation video where he summarises the Halloween movies while Horseface talks about hot chicks. What is this? Why would anybody want to watch this? People are putting this on for their Halloween parties? “Come on, guys, let’s watch four hours of a fat man and a horse-faced woman summarising movies. That will really put us in the evil Halloween spirit.”
This guy quit his job for THIS. This trash that manages to be both perverted and totally boring.
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The Addams Family on Super Nintendo – Erin Plays
She’s wearing a Mortia costume…I guess? A black wig and a black top. This can be any number of people. Maybe it’s Cher. I don’t know. Without the context of this being an Addams Family you would never in a million years guess that this is Morticia.
Speaking of Cher, I’ll tell you what would be a good costume: Florence Dennis. And Horseface can join Erin as Rocky Dennis.
Horseface is really great. Because I would never dream of saying such cruel things about a normal person even if I didn’t like them. But Horseface is so detestable, such an irredeemably awful person, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, that I can say whatever I want and not feel even slightly bad about it.
0:00 – “Today on Erin Plays, I have a game that you’ll just die for.”
Did Morticia even say puns like this? I’ve never seen the show. This seems like an Elvira thing. Maybe Morticia did it as well. I don’t know.
She’s never played the game before. Of course. But, as ever, she’s giving the impression that she has. This makes for a very uncomfortable viewing experience.
1:00 – She says that she’s watched playthroughs of this game. Well…I mean…it’s no substitue for playing the game yourself like a normal person but I guess it’s better than going through the game totally blind, which is what she normally does.
2:30 – “Look at these heads.”
What about them?
She says stuff like this all the time. Stuff that doesn’t go anywhere and nobody cares about. Absolute negative charisma.
5:45 – “There’s a worm and an apple down there? That’s so cute.”
I want to know who the person who’s watching these videos and genuinely enjoying them. I don’t mean Joe from Gamesack who’s jerking off over this stuff. I mean somebody watching this trash with their pants fully around their waist.
8:00 – It’s the worst Addams Family for the SNES footage ever recorded, by the way.
9:45 – She talks about a “cute” enemy.
God. There’s another TEN MINUTES of this shit.
12:00 – “I’m not entirely sure what the money signs do, to be honest. I should have looked that up, shouldn’t I?”
Well, that, or played the game in your spare time so you knew what they do.
14:15 – “The penguins are cute. What is that?”
This is basically the whole video. She’s pointing out cute things and saying that she doesn’t know what other things are.
16:15 – “So there’s the grandma and the kid.”
She’s a big Addams Family fan, guys. Even I know that his name is Pugsly and I’ve never seen the show.
17:30 – The worst of…anything ever recorded.
She couldn’t figure out that you’re presumably supposed to hold up as you jump to jump off of those cannon balls. Because she has no experience with video games. None. Even after doing these atrocious videos for like six years now.
18:15 – “I actually had a good time with this game.”
Oh sure. Sucking dick at a video game for 18 minutes sure looked like fun. And she had such a good time that she’ll never play it again.
Absolutely terrible video. As per usual. She’s the Cal Ripken Jr of terrible Youtube videos.
What is Cal Ripken Jr doing these days? Let me look this up.
He owns some minor league baseball teams and some “sports complexes”, whatever that is. A bunch of baseball fields.
- “You look fuckin smoking hot as Morticia <3”
Most of the comments are along these lines. I don’t get it. She put not effort whatsoever into this costume and there’s nothing remotely hot about it.
Erin should wear one of those costumes where it’s a plastic mask and a plastic smock. What are those called? There’s a name for them.
Ben Cooper. I’ve never seen that name anywhere but apparently that’s what they were called.
I had a bunch of the masks. I remember just buying them from the grocery store or whatever. Loose masks. But I never wore them for Halloween or any other occassion. They were were just an impulse purchase while at the store.
I did have a Pink Panther full costume, though. I suspect that I wore it for one Halloween when I was very young. It had the mask and the plastic smock. And then later, I decided to try it on again just for fun, and started crying because I was getting really hot and couldn’t get it off. You had to tie a knot behind the neck and I couldn’t untie it. So I started panicking. My mother came up and untied it.
But yeah, they were shit. Uncomfortable as fuck, your face would get all cut up.
Nevertheless, imagine Erin rocking one of these costumes for a video. The horntards would still talk about how hot she looks in it. And they did make a Morticia costume. Have Mike spend the $200 to buy one.