Retro Ali’s Abymal Shorts

She’s trying to make another Youtube comeback. Her last comeback was remarkly short-lived. Actually, did she delete the videos?

Oh. No, they’re in her “live” tab. She did five “live” videos, which I don’t think were live, three months ago, and then quit again.

So let’s look at these shorts. What Retro Ali was known for was her “reaction” videos to totally mundane things where she would grossly overreact to, for example, a Nintendo commercial. Her big thing was to make an “O” face. It’s a sexual thing. Like she’s getting it up the ass and saying “oooooooooh” or like she’s sucking a dick or something. I don’t know. But it’s clearly a sexual thing that she was doing.

But then Ali gained like 50 pounds. So she started only appearing on screen as an anime girl. There’s some software or something that will turn you into an anime girl.

That’s what she’s doing here for these shorts. She’s doing her old bullshit where she over-“reacts” to mundane things and makes the “O” face. But now she’s doing it as an anime girl.

It doesn’t fucking work. Get real. Who is POSSIBLY jerking off to this?

It’s so incredibly sad. She gained a lot of weight, she was obviously self-conscious about it, but instead of losing the weight or saying “I don’t give a shit about my weight gain”, she turned herself into an anime character. Like we’re fucking retards and can’t figure out why she did this.

Why not just go with it? So you’re a fat chick now. Who cares? Maybe some of the horntards will unsubscribe. Maybe. But I think that the vast majority will stick with it. And maybe you’ll even gain subscribers.

I don’t think that chubby chasers actually exist. I think that that’s entirely a media fabrication. I have never known any guy who specifically targeted fat chicks for their romantic pursuits or found fat chicks to be particularly attractive.

Nevertheless, the added weight makes Ali more attainable now. And that’s appealing to these horntards. They want to think that they have a chance of having sex with you.

If you’re looking at Belle Delphine’s content, surely you know that you’re never going to have sex with her. But fucking fatass, meth addict Retro Ali? It’s within the realm of possibilities. So it’s a point in Retro Ali’s favour.

Anime girl? No. Nobody is jerking off to this. Not one person.

Yeah, nice try, Ali. That’s an old picture of you. REALLY old. Take a picture holding up today’s newspaper and then maybe I’ll believe it.

She’s a big Dungeons & Dragons fan, guys.

God, it’s such fucking horseshit. Do women play Dungeons & Dragons? I suppose that there’s some woman out there, somewhere, who at some point happened to play Dungeons & Dragons, probably at the insistence of her giant nerd boyfriend.

But all of these gamer girls on Youtube seem to enjoy Dungeons & Dragons. Really? Is that what you want us to believe? Because I’m not buying it for one fucking second.

Even Erin, who has never done anything in her life, claimed to have to played Dungeons & Dragons before. Fuck off.

Maybe it’s a generational thing but I’ve never played it and I’ve never known anybody who played it. It was popular in the 1980s with teenagers. I guess? Maybe? Maybe it was already dead by then. But I was a teenager in the 1990s. That shit was out. It was over. It was strictly in the realm of giant fucking nerds and I didn’t even know giant fucking nerds who played it. Giant fucking nerds were playing Magic: The Gathering.

Then maybe there was a revival of Dungeons & Dragons in the 2000s? Maybe? I have no idea. But seemingly, it’s all the rage with these gamer girls on Youtube. That’s what we’re expected to believe. I’m not buying it for one fucking second.

I’m looking at Retro Ali’s Twitter and it’s all just anime drawings of her. The horntards will submit drawings of her. This is fucking boring. And sometimes she’ll talk about a video game that she’s playing on stream, for pennies.

I’ve said this a billion times, Retro Ali is a giant fucking bore. And a big part of the problem is that we know absolutely nothing about her. She refuses to say anything about her life. So all we know is that she’s a fatass anime girl who plays Pokemon. Is that interesting to anyone? It’s not remotely interesting to me.

You need to write about something that indicates something about your personality, Ali. If you have a personality. Which you very well may not do.

So anyway, that was my twice-yearly post about Retro Ali.

7 thoughts on “Retro Ali’s Abymal Shorts

  1. Oh my god, I swear I thought “retro Ali” was the fat guy that used to be in the top banner, now substituted by the Rigs fatso. You know, pretty much anything that has “retro” in the name hints at a fat, bald man… and the hat seemed somehow from someone named “Ali”. Well, I finally get it now.
    I checked her tweet feed, and she seems to be pretty insistent that the guys attending her streams and discord chats are always hitting at her. As if thousands of guys all over the world were desperate to be her boyfriend. I am sure a couple of those guys actually think they might have a shot, but that is always the case. Heck, even I’ve had women DMing me on Twitter asking for a date. This happens.

    She looks like a Mexican “technology influencer” that was quite good-looking but has gained over 50 pounds now. And all that fat has not only ruined her figure but her skin as well… in all her recent content, she looks all greasy and with pimples. And yet, she does have a bunch of loyal followers because, and I quote, “fatter means bigger tits”.

    1. The fanbase of “Vtubers” like Retro Ali actually ARE desperate lonely men. If you look at their discussions on the Vtuber board on 4chan (which is pretty much a mental asylum), they get pissed off if Vtubers even speak to a male because it ruins their fantasies.

    2. Ali is a Middle Eastern man’s name but also short for Alison or whatever. The fat guy in the previous banner was Tony from Hack from when he was dressed up as Alladin for some Cinemassacre video.

    3. I saw on her Twitter, out of time order, some message about how some guy thinks he can “go out” with some streamer. Don’t know if it’s about her or not. But she’s all indignant and furious about the idea. She said something like “this is my job. I’m not here to be a girlfriend” ok fine. If I had twitter I’d say to her that if you expose the truth that you’re just here to wring Pennie’s out of autistic social retards and rejects, you’ll soon find yourself out of business. Such an irony isn’t it?

      1. sadly, even if she were to publicly denounce the horntards as bottom of the barrel losers, they will still be coming back for more. begging to pay to be humiliated and made fun of. the way things currently are, with the gamerrgirls pretending to enjoy games and the horntards pretending to be interested in the gamerrgirls’ supposed gaming interests ensures that everyone involved in this farce can safely pretend to be happy.

  2. didn’t that 45-year old woman who newt is bringing to his videos also claim to have played dungeons and dragons? that seems to be a thing among “game girrls”.

    and retro ali. if you happen to read this, remember that you have loving parents. they are more than willing to help you so you can have a dignified life, away from the horntarts’ world. reach out to them before you get stuck with a perv obsessed with butt sex.

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