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Ebenezer and the Invisible World – A Christmas Metroidvania – Cannot be Tamed
0:00 – “I really never thought I’d be reviewing a Metroidvania that’s based on a Christmas Carol but that’s what we’re doing today.”
This is boring as fuck. I’ll have to dust off my Christmas Carol story.
“What? That fucking story about you in a school play? Who gives a shit? You already wrote about this.”
Well, I’ve only got so many childhood stories. I can’t come up with new ones.
So it was the 7th grade. Christmas Carol. We had some fairly young English teacher. Was it English that she taught? I guess it was. She was a nice woman.
We had to choose which parts we wanted to try out for. I went with some role that had three lines or so. Nothing substantial but it had some lines.
So we’re trying out for the play. Just in class. We’re reading lines. And the line was, “Alright, I’m leaving.”
Every single person read it like, “Alright. I’m leaving.” Maybe this doesn’t show up well in print form but it was totally unnatural. Whereas I read it like, “Alright, I’m leaving.” I read it as though I was annoyed. You know…as the character would be. But these other people read it like they were doing fucking bad acting. Reading lines.
I was living that shit. Method acting. I took it to a whole new level. And when I read the line, people were impressed. Genuinely. They laughed. They cheered. I felt like James Rolfe in his autobiography where everything he did was all the rage and everyone loved it.
So I didn’t get the part. I got some other part. A part with no lines. People were pissed off. One guy said, “(Gamer Girls) should get a line.” And the teacher agreed. She said that she’d give me a line.
I don’t know what role I ended up getting, if the character even exists in the play or was just made up by this teacher. But I was in a bar, I guess, or I suppose it would be a pub, in London (because I guess it takes place in London, something I didn’t recognise at the time) and I said, “A toast. A toast to Mr Fezziwig. The best employer a man can have. And to Mrs Fezziwig too!” and the rest of the characters raised their glasses in toast.
Who the fuck is Mr Fezziwig?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Fezziwig
Scrooge’s former employer.
Anyway, the line didn’t give me much to work with. I said it. There were no mistakes. But there wasn’t much passion. And I felt that the “And to Mrs Fizzigwig” too bit was tacked on, right on, feminist bullshit. Genuinely, I didn’t like that part of the line because I thought it was out of character and just brought in for the sake of sexual equality. So I wasn’t comfortable with it.
Not that I’m uncomfortable with sexual equality but this is a scene about early Industrial Revolution Britain. Would some chimney sweep or whatever the fuck I was really give a shit about his bosses’ wife? “Oh, we have to make sure to include his wife in this toast.”
And it’s totally unexplained as to why this guy is toasting Mr Fezziwig’s wife. Is there something going on between the two characters? If I was Mr Fezziwig, I’d be concerned. “Why is this guy toasting my wife? Why does he even know my wife? This is my employee. It’s not like I’m bringing my wife to the factory.”
So I read the line and it was what it was. Had I got that role that had me saying, “Alright, I’m leaving” that would have been memorable. I would have stolen the whole fucking show if I had that part.
We did the play for the school and then we did the play for our parents. My parents didn’t give a shit. No words of encouragement afterwards. Even if I got that juicy “Alright, I’m leaving” part, everybody in the auditorium would been wowed and they still wouldn’t give a shit.
That guy who stood up for me in class got a juicy role in the play. I don’t remember what it was but it was a significant role. The next year, he was the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, obviously another good role.
He had a twin sister. She was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Neither of them were particularly good students. Neither of them were gifted actors. And they arrived at the school in like the fifth grade (as opposed to most of us who were there since kindergarden). But they were somehow related to this English teacher. So they got the coveted roles. What fucking bullshit.
Anyway, that guy died like 15 years ago under mysterious circumstances.
Christmas Story. Charles Dickens can fuck right off. Mark Twain was a noted critic as well.
San Francisco Alta California, February 5, 1868
MARK TWAIN IN WASHINGTON
[SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT OF THE ALTA CALIFORNIA.]
The Great Dickens — An Honest Criticism
WASHINGTON, January 11th.
Charles Dickens.
I only heard him read once. It was in New York, last week. I had a seat about the middle of Steinway Hall, and that was rather further away from the speaker than was pleasant or profitable.
Promptly at 8 P.M., unannounced, and without waiting for any stamping or clapping of hands to call him out, a tall, “spry,” (if I may say it,) thin-legged old gentleman, gotten up regardless of expense, especially as to shirt-front and diamonds, with a bright red flower in his button-hole, gray beard and moustache, bald head, and with side hair brushed fiercely and tempestuously forward, as if its owner were sweeping down before a gale of wind, the very Dickens came! He did not emerge upon the stage — that is rather too deliberate a word — he strode. He strode — in the most English way and exhibiting the most English general style and appearance — straight across the broad stage, heedless of everything, unconscious of everybody, turning neither to the right nor the left — but striding eagerly straight ahead, as if he had seen a girl he knew turn the next corner. He brought up handsomely in the centre and faced the opera glasses. His pictures are hardly handsome, and he, like everybody else, is less handsome than his pictures. That fashion he has of brushing his hair and goatee so resolutely forward gives him a comical Scotch-terrier look about the face, which is rather heightened than otherwise by his portentous dignity and gravity. But that queer old head took on a sort of beauty, bye and bye, and a fascinating interest, as I thought of the wonderful mechanism within it, the complex but exquisitely adjusted machinery that could create men and women, and put the breath of life into them and alter all their ways and actions, elevate them, degrade them, murder them, marry them, conduct them through good and evil, through joy and sorrow, on their long march from the cradle to the grave, and never lose its godship over them, never make a mistake! I almost imagined I could see the wheels and pulleys work. This was Dickens — Dickens. There was no question about that, and yet it was not right easy to realize it. Somehow this puissant god seemed to be only a man, after all. How the great do tumble from their high pedestals when we see them in common human flesh, and know that they eat pork and cabbage and act like other men.
Mr. Dickens had a table to put his book on, and on it he had also a tumbler, a fancy decanter and a small bouquet. Behind him he had a huge red screen — a bulkhead — a sounding-board, I took it to be — and overhead in front was suspended a long board with reflecting lights attached to it, which threw down a glory upon the gentleman, after the fashion in use in the picture-galleries for bringing out the best effects of great paintings. Style! — There is style about Dickens, and style about all his surroundings.
He read David Copperfield. He is a bad reader, in one sense — because he does not enunciate his words sharply and distinctly — he does not cut the syllables cleanly, and therefore many and many of them fell dead before they reached our part of the house. [I say “our” because I am proud to observe that there was a beautiful young lady with me — a highly respectable young white woman.] I was a good deal disappointed in Mr. Dickens’ reading — I will go further and say, a great deal disappointed. The Herald and Tribune critics must have been carried away by their imaginations when they wrote their extravagant praises of it. Mr. Dickens’ reading is rather monotonous, as a general thing; his voice is husky; his pathos is only the beautiful pathos of his language — there is no heart, no feeling in it — it is glittering frostwork; his rich humor cannot fail to tickle an audience into ecstasies save when he reads to himself. And what a bright, intelligent audience he had! He ought to have made them laugh, or cry, or shout, at his own good will or pleasure — but he did not. They were very much tamer than they should have been.
He pronounced Steerforth “St’yaw-futh.” This will suggest to you that he is a little Englishy in his speech. One does not notice it much, however. I took two or three notes on a card; by reference to them I find that Pegotty’s anger when he learned the circumstance of Little Emly’s disappearance, was “excellent acting — full of spirit;” also, that Pegotty’s account of his search for Emly was “bad;” and that Mrs. Micawber’s inspired suggestions as to the negotiation of her husband’s bills, was “good;” (I mean, of course, that the reading was;) and that Dora the child-wife, and the storm at Yarmouth, where Steerforth perished, were not as good as they might have been. Every passage Mr. D. read, with the exception of those I have noted, was rendered with a degree of ability far below what his reading reputation led us to expect. I have given “first impressions.” Possibly if I could hear Mr. Dickens read a few more times I might find a different style of impressions taking possession of me. But not knowing anything about that, I cannot testify.
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Newt Wallen versus John Hinckley Jr
So Newt posted a video all about Horseface. It’s some creepy bullshit that he apparently would play at the movie theatre that he managed. I can’t imagine why they shut down. Maybe because people don’t want to see this amateur, overtly sexual bullshit starring a horsefaced woman when they’re going to the cinema.
- “Crystal looks so hot in this!! Dayummmmm”
Newt says, “yea these were good old days. she is wearing the velvet costume we had made for the TED 2 shoot in Vancouver as well”
Here;s another one:
Horntard: the lovely crystal quinn how is she
Newt: no clue. we are no longer friends.
Horntard: that sucks
Newt: she has not spoken to me in 2 years.
Horntard: I just reunited with Catherine Cochran recently on her scream dream podcast hopefully jessa will unblock me one day
Newt: im sure she will. Jessa is busy. Has lot of followers. Shes super funny and talented
Horntard: ok buddy
They’re commiserating and encouraging each other over people who they’re stalking.
So recently I made a reference to John Hinckley Jr watching Newt’s videos in prison. This was eroneous. First of all, he was never in prison. He was in a mental health facility. But secondly, he’s out. He’s been out since 2016. And he’s on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/@johnhinckley6860
People leave the same handful of bullshit comments about Reagan and Jodie Foster in every video. It must be tiring as fuck for him. I got sick of it after about ten comments.
The guy did something over 40 years ago and he’s still hearing about it. Constantly. He’s trying to rebuild his life. He doesn’t have much going on. He’s nearly 70. He spent most of his life in this mental health facility. And he has to read the same three bullshit comments every fucking day.
It’s like with Newt. Everything he does, “Hey, remember when you plagiarised? What a plagiarist. Go plagiarise, you plagiarising plagiarist.”
Can we move past this? I’m not saying that we should forget about the plagiarising or the assassination attempt, I’m just saying let’s focus on what they’re presenting now. In the case of Newt, it’s trash. So let’s talk about this trash on it’s own merits. Don’t just repeat “plagiarism” and think that you’re being clever. It’s the polar opposite of clever. It’s tragically idiotic.
It’s like those fucking retards on Reddit who repeat the same three “jokes” day after day, year after year. We get it. The man said “5:40” like five years ago. What else do you have?
Anyway, John Hinckley has three times as many subscribers as Newt. And he makes videos where he plays his guitar and sings. Much more watchable than anything Newt has released.
Also, NOT ONCE, does he mention Jodie Foster. Compare this to Newt who can not fucking shut up about Horseface.
Newt should be the one in the mental health facility.
Reagan is responsible for setting the US on the course to fascist corporatism. What was James Rolfe’s big offense? He’s dumb and lazy.
Also, just look at Jodie Foster and look at Horseface. It’s no contest. I’ll take 61 year old Jodie Foster today over Horseface. So John Hinckley Jr has better taste than Newt too.
Anyway, hopefully Newt gets the help that he so desperately needs. And Horseface gets the protection that she needs. He needs to fucking stop this shit immediately.
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Idle Hands is a KILLER Comedy! Bonus Director Interview – Tony from Hack the Movies
I know that I said that I wasn’t going to talk about Tony any more as a result of his support for autistic orphans getting urinated on by their fat, controlling, violent, hillbilly pimps but I’m making an exception for this fucking creep show.
He’s in a hotel, next to an unmade bed, with this fucking 300 pound “professional cosplayer” who he met off the internet. He was in Florida for some nerd convention that I guess people from Screenwave went to. But he’s not with Screenwave any more. Is he? I think that he still has some involvement with them, they’re taking a cut of whatever money he makes from Youtube, but I don’t think he’s working for them any more. So…why did he go to this thing?
I’m perplexed by this woman’s legs. Is she wearing some kind of multi-hued pants or…are her legs multi-hued? I honestly can’t figure it out.
Couldn’t Tony at least make the bed for this? It’s so low-effort. Or maybe this was intentional. He’s trying to boast over having sex with this unemployed wildebeest. Not that wildebeests usually have jobs.
I’m eight minutes in. They’re not saying anything interesting. Of course. So I’ll just fat shame this woman for the rest of the article.
How on earth is this woman making a living doing cosplay? She’s literally 300 pounds. At least.
And you look at her cosplay, on the few pictures that she has on Instagram…and they’re awful. In some of them she’s trying to look “sexy”…I guess…but in others, it’s just weird shit. Weird shit that I don’t want to see. Nobody wants to see this.
Who’s paying for this? Enough that she’s apparently able to live on this?
There’s no way. Nobody is paying this woman.
Well, wait a minute. She didn’t say that she was living off of cosplay. She merely said that she’s a “professional cosplayer”. That simply means that somebody paid her one time. I guess I can believe that. Maybe. Once. Some horny lunatic.
She also has an online store where she sells posters of the three photos that she seems to have of herself.
I just don’t understand why these people are so adverse to getting jobs. Are jobs really that bad?
So we’ve got this 300 woman claiming to be a “professional cosplayer”. Good for her…I guess. She’s feeling confident about herself. “Hey, look at me. I’m a sexy…fat chick”. Okay, you go, girl. This is some real feminism.
I’m not suggesting some kind of pogrom against fat chicks. They have a right to exist. But…do they need to be in the “sexy” professions? Is it so crazy to say, “Only sexy chicks should be in sexy professions”?
Obviously, it’s a form of a discrimination. Just like you need certain qualifications to be a doctor. But I don’t see the guy working at your local delicatessen saying, “Hey, come on. I should be able to perform heart surgery too. Let’s open the profession up. Enough of the discrimination.” There need to be standards for jobs. Different jobs requiring different qualifications. You can be fat and still work. There are plenty of jobs that fat people can do. But “cosplayer” should not be one of them. Not the “sexy” variety, at least.
By the way, this woman is extremely shiny. I don’t know what this is. Tony’s jizz, I guess.
I’m 28 minutes in. I’m bored out of my mind.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate fat goth chicks. I do. But…know your limits. You can walk around in your black outfits and do your wacky makeup. I’m all for it. Work with what you’ve got. Maximise your potential. But always have in the back of your mind, “I’m a fat chick. Not fucking…Jayne Mansfield.” I need to update my references. I don’t know who the hot chicks are today. Or for the past 70 years.
But…come on. I’m not jerking off to this woman. Not in a million years. I’m sure that she’d be a perfectly fine receptionist in a dentist’s office or something. But sexy cosplayer? Fuck no.
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Thanksgiving is better than Scream – Newt Wallen
Hey, PVC Bondage Guy without makeup. What a refreshing change.
0:15 – Newt says that he just left a “press screening” with PVC Bondage Guy over here. It must be incredibly easy to get such tickets because…what press is Newt Wallen representing? The Plagiariser’s Gazette?
She seems to be wearing something normal as well. Dare I say even classy. Looks like a coat…wait a minute. Is this a man’s suit jacket? No…there’s a zipper on the sleeve.
Newt’s been talking non-stop for the past five minutes.
I’m reminded of a Filipina woman who I went out with. She was a nurse, of course. She was always extremely busy. Allegedly. She suggested that we go to a church for our first meeting. Fuck. Whatever. But we didn’t do that. We eventually got coffee.
She never shut up. She talked the entire fucking time. For the first 30 minutes, I tried to interrupt to keep up my end of the conversation but she just talked over me so I gave up. I made a little game of it. “How long can I say absolutely nothing, not even ‘uh huh’ before she stops talking?” As it turns out, there was no limit. She talked the entire fucking time and I said NOTHING for the last half hour of the “date”.
Then I get home and she texts me saying, “You don’t talk much, do you?” Oh, I was fucking livid. There was NO WAY to get a word in with this woman. She never took a breath. So I let her have it. Fucking bitch.
She sent me about 20 pictures of her feet, though. I didn’t even ask. I’m not interested in that shit. What the fuck. It takes all kinds.
12:15 – PVC Bondage Guy gets excited by a scene where a woman gets cooked alive. She’s mentioned liking this sort of thing before.
I’m just going to stop the video here. I don’t want my opinion of PVC Bondage Guy to drop any further. She’s going for the classy look here today. Let’s keep it on a positive. That’s what people are looking for when they come to the blog. A little positivity.
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Prison City – Neighbor Nerds – Cinemassacre
This is disgraceful. It’s an ad for a game made by Screenwave. How is this not a massive conflict of interests? It’s Screenwave reviewing its own game.
0:00 – “This is a game by (something) and Retroware. Retroware also made the AVGN game.”
Retroware is Screenwave. They just rebranded because Screenwave became such a “toxic” name. Why can’t there be a shred of honesty in here?
1:15 – “The lovely people at Retroware sent me a code.”
Yeah. It’s Screenwave. Why can’t they just say, “Hey, Justin Silverman, who’s standing over there, sent me the code for this game”?
1:30 – Then fucking James Rolfe shills for the game, blatently, saying that it’s on all consoles, and then lists all of the consoles.
There was also a trailer for the game that played earlier in the video.
This is ridiculous.
1:45 – Oh, he does actually say, “Justin gave me a code for the game.” He should have said this in the beginning. And this is John saying all of this, by the way. James mostly says “yeah”.
4:15 – James puts the game on “easy” mode. What am I watching? Erin Plays?
I’m stopping the video at 18 minutes. It’s just a compilation. It’s an advertisement. They seemed to play this game for at least two hours. James points out that they were on a boss for 45 minutes. He’s really annoyed by this.
I’m just not interested. I’m not interested in watching a compilation and I’m certainly not interested in watching an ad.
It reminds me of how Mike recently started adding “rage compilations” to his channel. I’m not watching that. I don’t care. They seem to do at least as well as his normal videos, though, so maybe it’s just me. But I like watching actual footage of a game being played without cuts every five seconds.
Am I going to watch 50 hours of him playing Final Fantasy VI? No. But I’d still rather watch a few hours of it, unedited, so that I can follow what the fuck is going on in the game. I don’t care about him “raging.”
So another terrible video from Cinemassacre. I mean…it’s an ad. Fuck off.
Let’s see what the boys on Reddit had to say.
Somebody made a thread pointing out that the video was entirely praising the game. That’s true. They didn’t complain about anything. It’s a fantastic game, according to them.
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Master Sword Music versus Rex Viper
If for some reason you’re unfamiliar with Master Sword Music, it’s TeeJayTheGamer’s record label/Youtube channel/fantasy. As here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPQKl8M03bZeiP4wNbVhaPQ
You might know Tee Jay better as Mr Wright Way II from Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer”‘s fine Youtube channel.
Rex Viper is James Rolfe’s embarrassing midlife crisis novelty Youtube band.
So you to Mr Wright Way II’s Youtube channel and you see a lot of videos that are remixes of 8 or 16 bit game console music. So…just instrumentals. And…whatever, chiptune instrumentals. I guess. Is that what it’s called “chiptune”? I don’t know.
Anyway, I don’t want to listen to that shit. I mean…I listened for 30 seconds to some video. It’s remixed video game music. I think. If that’s interesting to you, check it out. But given that the view numbers for these videos is typically under 100, I don’t think that this has mass appeal.
Here’s a birthday song for Zap Cristal. I’m not sure if she was still with the original Mr Wright Way at the time that this was released or not. It’s from March 2023.
0:00 – Oh, this is embarrassing. Mr Wright Way II comes out to some like 1980s hiphop shit and he’s getting jiggy with…something.
There’s a picture of him, Zap Cristal, and an impoverished immigrant in a Darkwing Duck costume.
I’m a minute in. There’s an echo. This is done intentionally but it has the effect of me only being able to understand about 20% of what’s being said. “I love you” is about all I can decipher. I’m flattered, Mr Wright II, but I like the ladies.
1:00 – “We belong together like Link and Zelda.”
I wish that that was among the 80% that I couldn’t understand.
1:15 – “I don’t care if the whole world is mad at me, you will always be my Final Fantasy.”
This seems to be what he does. He sings/raps/whatever and inserts video game references into the lyrics.
1:30 – “She’s the best. Just like my Nintendo.”
You know…it’s difficult to decide which lyrics to quote. Because I want to quote the cringy lyrics but they’re ALL cringy. How can I decide? Are the lyrics just posted here? I’ll just post the lyrics.
Fuck. Talk about amateur hour. No lyrics posted.
1:45 – “She touch me like a 3ds, that’s all that I’m saying.”
Oh god. I don’t even know what that means.
2:30 – “Don’t make me be a single player, so glad I got my gamer girl.”
Eugh. I never want to listen to this again. Do I have to continue this? Rex Viper wins. Okay? We can stop the article here. Rex Viper is clearly superior to this shit.
3:15 – “You can’t tell me you ain’t my boo, I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
This can be taken more than one way, given Zap’s preference for violent, controlling black men.
So that’s…eugh…the video. I think that it gave me diarrhea.
288 views after seven months.
Let’s move swifly on.
0:15 – Footage of Mr Wright Way II freeloading on Zap Cristal’s shitty Ikea sofa. No arm rests. This must be the cheapest sofa that they sell.
I got a futon from Ikea fuck, I don’t know, 15 years ago. It was the first piece of furniture that I got in the UK. I had an unfurnished place and no bed and no sofa so I combined the two.
I took this thing with me everywhere. I moved loads of times. I remember dragging this heavy thing like two miles away when I was moving to a new place and didn’t have the money for a guy in a van to help move.
So a couple of years ago, it got a huge hole in it, just from wear and tear of my ass being on it. So I got a patch and the patch helped for a while but ultimately the hole kept growing or the patch came loose or something. My sewing skills aren’t amazing.
I didn’t want to get a new sofa because I’ve been through so much with this sofa. So I got new slip covers and also new foam. The cushions were really flat by this point.
Ikea doesn’t make covers for 15 year old sofas but there’s some company in Eastern Europe who does it. It was like £200. They had a bunch of different fabrics and colours and patterns. I got a nice velvet cover.
And for the foam, I went to a local foam shop. Unbelievably, such a place exists. And also, this guy makes custom covers so had I known that, I probably would have made use of the local company but oh well. The foam was another…I don’t know…£150 or something.
So for £350, I could have bought a decent, but not great new sofa from Ikea. But why would I do that? I have a perfectly good sofa. I mean, the frame was good, anyway. And I like the style and design. So I invested the money into keeping the futon alive.
Back to the video. I can’t. I made it to 1:47. It’s the cringiest shit in the history of cringe.
I refuse to look at more videos. I refuse to listen to one more second of any of this shit. This is why nobody is watching the videos. They’re awful.
Cristal Laboy got credit for “directing” that video. She openly uses this name in connection with Zap Cristal so there’s no “doxxing” here. You can find her Youtube channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZVfHAKHaGJtS_58mPeGPaA
There aren’t any videos there, other than links to Zap Cristal videos, but the banner says that she homeschools her child.
Eugh. That poor kid. Trapped with this lunatic and his latest black stepfather 24 hours a day. And they’re both IDIOTS. What can they possibly be teaching this kid?
It also puts her creepy comments toward this kid into an even more sinister perspective. Like she made some “sexy” videos that he was filming. She was showing her cleavage and whatnot. Oh god. It’s not right. Social services should be called.
What was the thesis here? Oh, this guy’s music versus Rex Viper. Yeah, I’ve listened to all of Rex Viper’s stuff and it’s awful but it’s got to be better than this shit. Let me just listen to a song and see how much I can endure. I couldn’t even get through that two minute song of Mr Wright Way II’s.
Which one should I choose? Nintendo Power of Love, I guess. That’s the only one that I can’t remember so it’s something of an even playing field.
Five and a half minutes. Eugh. I can do it. Rex Viper will actually be a palette cleanser after that Mr Wright Way II shit.
Starts with the Back to the Future theme. Okay. Sounds accurate. I still don’t get the point of these songs but…whatever. They aren’t parodies. It’s just…they take two unrelated things and…do something with them.
2:30 – Oh yeah. Newt is in this one. I think. It doesn’t really look like Newt.
Okay. I’m going to stop at 3:30. It’s shit but it’s still better than anything than Mr Wright Way II ever has produced or ever will produce.
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Destiny Fomo Claims that she’s a College Graduate
Madam Fomo: sigh* I really did not want to do this, but since everyone else bought one 🤷🏻♀️ what does this make it…? 8 ps5’s in the collection now?
Guy: Definitely pays to have big boobs.
Madam Fomo: im a college graduate who held a double major… and oh I happen to own 2 businesses and none of which have to do with “boobs” you meant to say it pays to be successful
If you have a degree, you wouldn’t use the phrase “held a double major”, which is a phrase that I’ve never heard in my life, by the way. You would just say, “I have a degree in Biology and Chemistry” or whatever.
But there is no way, NO WAY that Madam Fomo has a degree. She’s barely literate. And from the timeline I’ve been able to piece together, she’s been a prostitute since before the age of 18. When did she find time to go to college?
She’s a pathological liar. When asked what she does for a living, she used to say “video editor”. Then there was the period where she claimed that she signed a two year contract to make a comic book. This was years ago. No comic book was ever produced. We never got a single panel. No sketches. No story template. Nothing. But for about a year, she promoted this phantom comic book.
There are all the phone scams that she runs. “Text me” bullshit. “Leave me a voicemail”. It’s some scam that she’s running. Or, more accurately, her pimp TuanX is running.
So now she’s claiming to run two businesses. What are they? And they’re two business that don’t have anything to do with her breasts, according to her. So it can’t be Twitch or Youtube.
She’s a prostitute. So there’s one business, I guess. What’s the other one?
Well, let’s check the comments. Maybe she’s going to be forthright with us for a change. You never know.
“Some people have to be reminded that an education under all of this”
Uh huh. Where did she go to college? Can she tell us that? Show us your degree, Madam Fomo. You’re obviously proud of it.
But no, no mention of her degree or her two businesses. It’s entirely made up. It’s what she does.
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FIVE of the Most Rented SNES Games at BLOCKBUSTER in 1993 – Erin Plays
Oh, we’re graced with a new zero effort video by old Erin Plays. Another one in her series of sleep-enducing videos where she reads you what the top ten Blockbuster video game rentals were for a particular year. Let me save you the effort, Erin. I’ll look it up.
Maybe Wikipedia got rid of this. Because I’m not seeing it here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1993_in_video_games#Top_rentals_according_to_Blockbuster_Video
It definitely used to be there because I’ve talked about this in previous years that Erin did.
It’s no longer noteworthy for Wikipedia. Or maybe it was never there because she did skip that year. Well, let’s find out what they were. I’m dying to know.
0:00 – “It’s Friday night in 1993 and you just picked up a Big Foot pizza from Pizza Hut.”
Well, no. I didn’t. I was in high school. And you were five years old so you certainly didn’t.
Plus, there weren’t any Pizza Huts in my area. This Big Foot pizza was a response to Little Caesar’s pizzas which were sold in pairs and came in a long package. I remember having to walk…15 minutes to pick them up with my mother. How embarassing walking through town with this long package of pizza. She didn’t drive.
I remember the Meat Lover’s pizza from Little Caesar’s. Now, I think that this is a normal name. Pizza Hut has a Meat Lover’s pizza, for example. But at the time, I guess it was novel.
So my mother told my sister to order a Meat Lover’s pizza from Little Caesar’s. My sister refused to do it. There was much laughter and my sister awkwardly explained her objection: nobody “loves” meat. I didn’t get it and she didn’t expressly say it but it was a double entendre. She didn’t want to have to call these people and say that she loves meat.
My mother made her do it, as my mother was wont to do, ignoring people’s personal autonomy. So my sister calls and she’s nervously laughing throughout the call. The woman she’s talking to says, “They’re sold out” and ends the call.
My sister explains to my mother what happened and my mother can’t understand. “They’re sold out? How can they be sold out?” My sister must have known that it didn’t make sense but she didn’t want to call back. So my mother called and it was no problem. She ordered the pizza.
The person from Little Caesar’s must have thought that it was a prank call because my sister was laughing throughout.
0:15 – Rock n Roll Racing. Who cares?
She’s just reading from this magazine that has the list and also Wikipedia. And there’s no way that it’s Erin playing these games because the gameplay is decent. It’s Mike playing this. All she’s doing is reading.
1:45 – Extended colour talk. Always riveting.
2:30 – Footage of news reports about Mortal Kombat. And, oddly, she credits the Youtube channels where she gets this footage. It’s from ABC News. They’re the ones who should get credit.
Wait a minute. She’s only giving FIVE of the top games? Didn’t she do the full top ten in previous videos? Let me check.
I’m not sure. She did eight in one video, seven in another, and only five in her last video, which was 1995. Those videos were all from 2021, by the way.
3:30 – Super Mario All-Stars. The one game that Erin owned as a child. Apparently. I’m not even sure if she owned this one.
5:00 – Alien v Predator. Is this almost over? Another two and a half minutes. Well, at least she knows not to overstay her welcome with this tedious shit.
6:00 – World Heroes.
7:15 – “Do you remember renting any games that year and, if so, were any from this list?”
How about you fuck off, Erin? My video game rentals in 1993 are my own business.
Absolute shit video. As one expects from Erin. She’s incapable of producing anything worth watching.
There are 159 comments for this dogshit. I see.
- “My local Blockbuster became half Dentist and half FroYo after closing. And the Pizza Hut from back in the day became a Dentist also. :(“
What’s this guy’s beef with dentists?
- “Cool idea for a video. Hope this format continues.”
Erin replies saying that it’s part of a series and links to a playlist of other videos in this “series”.
How is it possible that Erin is at all proud of these videos? She must know that they’re awful. I know that everybody in the comments says that they’re great but…can she really believe that? It’s dogshit. She has no charisma and knows nothing about video games. How can she ever expect to create a good video about video games?
- “0:00 Erinplaysgames, I did that EXACT thing with my family in 1993. Bigfoot pizza, blockbuster games, and Jurassic Park on VHS. 🎉 BUT your LOGIC IS FLAWED AND ATTROCIOUS!!! Why would you pick up the pizza FIRST???? IT WOULD GET COLD WHILE AT BLOCKBUSTER!!! Please revoice, re-edit, and reupload the video without this BLUNDER!!!”
That was a comment from Justin Silverman. This guy’s a real comedian. Joe from Gamesack is reading this comment and saying, “Hey, wait a minute, Justin. I’m the beta orbiter comedian here. Get in line, you fat fuck.”
But Erin replies, “I didn’t realize I’d cause such a stir with accidentally implying you pick up the pizza first. Contemplating deleting my channel tbh.”
Oh, she is just so witty. The jokes come fast and quick with Erin here.
- “I could have sworn that the Bigfoot pizza was Little Caesars. Lol”
No. I’ve explained this. It was a rip off of Little Caesar’s. Little Caesar’s was making great inroads into the chain pizzaria market in the 1990s.
Let’s check out her Twitter.
In the comments, Erin says, “I rented a lot of bad games too :p”.
Uh huh. Like what, Erin? In 1993 you were five, so presumably you weren’t renting games then. But when were you renting video games? What were the games? Tell us. Give us the details. Were there even places renting games in 2000 or so, when you would have been old enough to do this? And this all assumes that you played video games as a child, which you didn’t.
Oh, happy birthday to Erin Plays aka ErinPlays87 aka Cykill1986. She’s 36. Or 37, depending on which screen name you choose to believe.
Thirty-six years old. Teenage Erin would have been…HAPPY with how she turned out? Teenage Erin must have had tragically low expectations for her life. “I hope that I’m getting fucked in the ass by a man I don’t love for $6,000/year.”
She’s wasted her life. Completely. And she’s continuing the lie that she played video games as a kid. Why? Nobody cares.
Oh, Justin Silverman makes a joke about ice cream cakes. Joe from Gamesack must be seething.
Horny Goriya also leaves a birthday message. She’s another beta orbiter.
Retail Archaelogy leaves a message. He’s another one.
Oh, Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen leaves a message. How interesting.
- “I’m 42 homie. My tastes have stayed the same. But evolved as those interests led me down the rabbit hole. And helped me find other weirdos like myself”
It’s all about himself. Keep being that narcissistic son of a bitch who we all know and love, Newt. This is why you’re single, though.
ShiShi leaves a message. Great.
Wow. Nothing from Joe from Gamesack. He really dropped the ball on this one.
She’s a big The Voidz fan. What the fuck. Do I even care to look this up? Let’s do it quickly.
Well, they’re relatively contemporary. That’s surprising. From the past ten years.
Mike must hate going to this shit. Plus paying for everything. But this is the price you pay for unlimited butt sex with this…”sexy” and…”witty” 36 year old woman.
Oh baby. She’s not working at Little Caesar’s any more. She recently got a job at a different fast food place. But…well, she does a variety of videos. She actually seems pretty funny and has some charisma. And…she does…contortion videos. This…top heavy young lady. Yeah, I think she’s earned a subscriber.
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Never Say I Give Up! Do This Instead To Keep Winning – Zap Cristal
This is the “season finale” of the podcast. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN VIEWS AFTER A WEEK!
Let me first discuss what on earth comprises a “season” on Youtube. Fucking retard James Rolfe seems to do this as well. And Chris BORES. And I think Pat “The NES Fag”. It’s probably a normal thing.
What on earth does it mean? When does a season start and end? In television terms, at least historically, in the US, a season begins in the fall and ends at the start of summer. Right? Network tv would take the summers off. They’d show reruns.
But…Youtubers don’t take the summers off. And summer isn’t beginning now anyway. So when does Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal’s “season” end? The second week of November? Why? Why was that date chosen? And when is “season two” going to begin?
It makes no fucking sense. Just release the videos whenever you want. There aren’t any “seasons”. You’re releasing videos continuously throughout the year. It’s preposterous to set an arbitrary cut off from one season to the next. What’s going to change in season two? Is this “season finale” going to wrap up all of the cliffhangers from the previous podcasts in this “season”? It’s fucking stupid. The concept does not apply to Youtube, at least not on any channel that I’ve ever seen.
So she’s going to tell us how to keep reaching your dreams in this video that got 100 views. This woman who totally destroyed her life, her son’s life, and her channel by letting Mr Wright Way II into her life. This woman who marries every black man who pays her the slightest bit of attention. This woman who seems to have a preference for controlling, aggressive men.
Not that I think that Mr Wright Way I or II are controlling and aggressive. I have no way of knowing either way but nothing I’ve seen particularly indicates that. But Zap Cristal herself has talked about how aggressive and controlling Mr Wright Way was and the same with a previous boyfriend/husband, who was probably black, who was so controlling and aggressive that she alleges that he almost killed her, and possibly her son.
You’re picking these men, Zap Cristal. It’s all on you. You obviously like that type. Sort yourself out.
So prepare to be inspired by this woman who’s achieved nothing in her life.
0:45 – Zap Cristal gives herself a round of applause for reaching episode 12 of this dire podcast that has totally killed her channel.
The description to this video is, “When you hit rock bottom…what do you do?”
Well, you’re there, Zap. You’re at rock bottom. So where do you go from here? Tell us.
1:30 – “This started not too long ago and we’re already closing our very first season.”
IT MEANS NOTHING! Typically, in television, at least historically, a season was 16 episodes. So why 12? Why did you pick 12? What does any of this mean? How did you determine what a “season” is? Why should any of us give a fuck about your arbitrary definitions? Just release the fucking videos. Or, better yet, don’t. Nobody is watching this shit.
2:00 – She talks about the “birth” of the podcast. It’s more like an abortion.
2:30 – “So we’ve talked about this off-camera but now we get to open up, we get to talk to the world about it.”
Well…if by “world” you mean the 100 people who have watched this, okay.
2:45 – “What do you do when you feel like quitting?”
If we’re talking about Youtube, and you, I say go for it.
I’m going to go get a sandwich. I’m going to need my energy to stay awake for this shit.
3:15 – “I’m sending you a challenge. Find one person you can share this episode to.”
There’s nobody who I despise enough to be able to recommend this video.
4:00 – Mr Wright Way II says, “I’ve always been a tough love kind of person.”
Ummm…where are we going with this?
Are they talking about suicide or giving up on, say, their job or…a relationship or something? He seems to be talking about suicide.
6:15 – Mr Wright Way II says that he was in a “bad relationship” and felt suicidal. “I wasn’t getting what I want out of Youtube. I wasn’t growing organically.”
WHAT? He’s all over the place. WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? This was supposed to be a positive and uplifting video. That’s what Zap promised.
He says that nobody was listening to his music or watching his Youtube videos so he considered killing himself. I mean…is that really what he said? I don’t want to misrepresent him. But that seems to me what he was saying. But he didn’t want to “give up” because he has a mother and siblings and whatever. I’m still not quite sure if he’s talking about suicide or giving up on Youtube.
I mean…it makes a difference. I would recommend giving up on your music and Youtube but I wouldn’t recommend suicide. The two things should be treated entirely separately. You can quit Youtube but go on living. He doesn’t seem to understand this. He’s linked the two.
No. Just go get a job like a normal person. Realise that nobody is going to buy your music or watch your videos. You can still have a perfectly happy life.
I know that you had ideas that everybody was going to buy your music and watch your Youtube videos and you’d get all of the bitches but that’s not the way that life works for well over 99% of the people. I had dreams of what I wanted to do with my life. I had plans. Things happened. I wasn’t good enough. Outside forces prevented me from achieving what I wanted. It could be anything. This stuff happens to everyone. Get over it, and change your plans to something else. Simple. There’s your uplifting message.
The message should not be, “Oh, no. Keep chasing your dream” because it’s not going to happen. This guy is never going to be Snoop Dog. Newt Wallen is never going to make a movie that anyone wants to watch. Erin is never going to make a dime off of these abysmal videos. Face reality, know your limitations, and go do something that you’re good at.
7:15 – Mr Wright Way II says, “The only reason I am alive is because of you” referring to Zap Cristal. And she looks all lovey at this.
WHAT? That’s PATHETIC. This woman who he barely knows, who he married instantly, is the only reason he hasn’t killed himself.
What was he doing before? What was he doing nine months ago when he didn’t know Zap Cristal?
It’s belittling the real problems of suicide and depression. “Oh, this woman who I barely know saved my life. All of my problems were solved”.
No. It’s bullshit. He’s just saying this to sweet talk the always hot Zap. You don’t have to try so hard. You’re married. Come on. She made a lifetime committment to you. Just like she did with Mr Wright Way, her previous husband, and probably previous husbands.
He’s depressed because he doesn’t like his job and his Youtube channel sucks dick and nobody is buying his music and he doesn’t like his girlfriend. So he’s going to kill himself? And the only thing that saved him was marrying Zap Cristal? Fuck off.
Then he starts talking about how he was going to jump off of a dam. This guy is a loser. I’m sorry. I’ve heard nothing that justifies thinking about suicide. Maybe he’s just not expressing himself well. But nobody is buying your shit music?
Then he got a message from Zap so he decided not to jump off of the dam. So he didn’t.
People were telling him not to give up. He’s talking about his Youtube channel now, not his life. He switches back and forth a lot. But Zap gave more constructive advice and that caused him not to kill himself.
Fuck off. Zap taught him how to do thumbnails and this saved his life. You are a piece of shit, sir. You are demeaning people with actual problems. If you were going to kill yourself over your failed Youtube channel, you’re the weakest faggot in the history of homosexuality.
If the guy was even talking about something like debt or a friend who died or something, and this was the trigger for wanting to kill himself, fine. I’d by sympathetic. But this asshole says that his failed YOUTUBE channel was driving him to suicide. And only the “kind” words of Zap Cristal saved him. She told him to stay the course.
That wasn’t even good advice. STOP the channel. Nobody will ever buy your music or watch your videos.
13:00 – Zap is talking about Mr Wright Way and she questions why she married him so soon after she met him. She claims that she wasn’t safe. Her “kid” wasn’t safe. He was “toxic”.
And then…she married Mr Wright Way II. Immediately after meeting him. She learned nothing.
Fuck this shit. These two complete losers deserve each other. I’m stopping the video at 18:00. She’s talking about how her Youtube videos weren’t as good when she was with Mr Wright Way because she was all sad and depressed at how “toxic” he was and how “unsafe” she and her “kid” were around him.
Even if it’s true, which I’m not saying it is, you picked him, you cretin. And then you immediately picked another black man you didn’t know anything about.
At least when you were making videos with Mr Wright Way, people watched them. NOBODY is watching this shit with Mr Wright Way II.
- “This is a very interesting episode! Yall came OUT heavy…but that’s to be expected with a season finale!”
He’s buying into the idea that this is a season finale. It’s risible. How is the Reset and Zap podcast going to end this season? Will we find out who the murderer was? Oh, it was Mr Wright Way. That toxic piece of shit who put Zap and her “kid” in a state of deep fear every day. And then she immediately married another black man she didn’t know.
- “Very honest episode between husband and wife. Know what all got through things in life.”
Both of these guys who I’m quoting are black. This is her audience. Eager black men hoping to be Mr Wright Way III. But why? Why this woman? Are they that fucking desperate? Look at her.
But they’re saying nice things to her because they hope to have sex with her. And marry her, apparently. That’s the craziest thing about all of this. She’s not just having promiscuous sex with random black men. She’s MARRYING them.
I’m eagerly looking forward to the season two premiere. Maybe she’s going to introduce a new character. Or it’s going to be a different set. What exciting adventures will await us?
Remember when These Friends of Mine was changed to Ellen in season two? That was a big change.
Or what about the season where Ellen came out as gay? And then every single episode was about how gay Ellen is? That was another big change. Can we expect changes with season two of the podcast?
Oh, that was would be epic. Mr Wright Way II is replaced by MRS Wright Way…III? Would it be three or would it be one or…because Zap is Mrs Wright Way, I guess. Well, we’ll figure out the details later. But Mr Wright II is out and he’s replaced by an aggressive and controlling black WOMAN who Zap married. What a twist. You didn’t see that coming. The rating will be through the roof. Maybe 200 views.
What are some other big changes that were made between seasons? Well, Facts of Life dropped half the cast after the first season. Molly Ringwald and so on.
Weren’t there big changes in Star Trek: The Next Generation after the first season? Did Riker grow a beard after the first season? Yeah. Season two was the debut of bearded Riker. Maybe Zap will grow a beard for season two.
Get a Life changed formats after the first season but this might be too obscure a reference. That’s probably my favourite sitcom of all time, though. Nevertheless, maybe the Reset and Zap podcast will become a surreal, avant garde comedy in season two. I’d watch every fucking episode if she did that.
Doug Porter himself.
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The Dark, Sad Life of Boogie2988 | Official Documentary
I don’t really know who this guy is. I know of him but I’ve never watched a video of his. I know that he was in that boxing match recently where he performed really, really poorly. I know that he’s a big fat guy. I know that there was some incident where he was shooting at some weird stalker. But what else? What kind of videos does he make? Stuff about video games? I have no idea.
1:00 – It starts with him taking a bath…while wearing swim trunks. What? Why would he allow himself to be filmed in the bath? Why is he wearing trunks in the bath? Is this what he does? What a puzzling way to start.
I know that it’s to show what a big fat guy he is and isn’t that hilarious but…no. It’s not hilarious. None of this makes sense.
If you’re going to film him taking a bath because it’s somehow integral to the documentary, do it properly. He’s not wearing a swimsuit when he’s taking a bath, is he? This was obviously staged. But…to what end? Who wants to see a big fat guy taking a bath in trunks?
And he’s telling a story about a woman who he knew who liked to pretend to be a little girl…or something…and he took a bath with her with rubber duckies and then had sex with her afterwards.
Did he have his trunks on at the time?
And he’s taking a bubble bath. I mean…I’m focusing on something that may be trivial but it’s a documentary. It’s supposed to be documenting somebody’s actual life. It’s supposed to be factual.
Are you telling me that this 500 pound man takes bubble baths while wearing a swimsuit? This is a normal, every day activity for him?
No. This is bullshit. This was done just to add some weird bullshit for the “film”. There’s no integrity here. There’s no honesty. So it taints the whole fucking thing. And to what end? We get to hear this creepy story from him. We didn’t need to know this. I don’t think that it’s going to add anything to the story.
2:00 – He’s talking about all of the money that he lost in cryptocurrency.
I was going to buy $15,000 worth of Bitcoin back when it was $35. I was so close to doing it. This was around the time that the US was requiring foreign banks to report the accounts of American customers to the IRS.
Had I done that, I’d be a fucking millionaire today. Although, I probably would have sold it when it hit, I don’t know, $1,000 if not much earlier.
Anyway, Boogie lost all of his money in cryptocurrency, apparently.
3:00 – He’s showing off how fat he is in disgusting detail. I don’t need to see this.
6:30 – Between 2018 and 2021, it’s claimed that Boogie spent $200,000 on prostitutes (or “sex workers” as it’s described).
There’s no way. Well, I guess that he could have spent the money but it’s not physically possible for this guy to have intercourse. He can’t get an erection. He was in his late 40s, he’s 500 pounds, there’s absolutely no way.
They’re interviewing one of the alleged prostitutes. They’ve distorted the voice but…it sounds like a man. Why would they distort the voice to sound like a man? Maybe it is a man.
Boogie talks about his sexual…what’s the word…prowess. This is just revolting and full of lies. I’m losing my train of thought. But yeah, this 500 pound guy in his late 40s is a real sexual dynamo.
8:00 – The prostitute says, “There were rolls upon rolls upon rolls and it took me a long time to find his dick.”
Yeah. I mean…also, I’m pretty sure that this is a guy. Ladyboy. It has to be. Why would they use a man’s voice for this? They can disguise a woman’s voice and still make it sound feminine.
She/he says that she quit “sex work” because of Boogie. Uh huh. What fucking bullshit. I know that he’s 500 pounds but I don’t think that this would be a reason to quit.
10:15 – He’s selling his Magic: The Gathering cards because he doesn’t have any money because nobody is watching his Youtube videos apparently.
12:00 – He’s selling cards to some guy who owns a shop and Boogie starts by saying that he needs the money to pay his mortgage.
This is all fake. It’s all set up. If you’re going to sell something, are you going to tell the guy that you’re desperate for money and you’ll take anything? And you have a fucking camera crew following you around?
This is fake “documentary” bullshit. Like “reality tv” that everybody knows is fake and set up.
13:30 – He’s at home playing Magic: The Gathering with a bunch of guys and almost all of them are like 400+ pounds. How is it possible?
17:45 – He’s talking about some Reddit thread that collected every controversial thing he ever said. Whoever did this overlay graphic can’t spell “Holocaust”. How about proofreading before you put it out? I mean, “Halocuast”? Really? TWO mistakes?
19:15 – He sprained his ankle while walking because he’s 500 pounds.
20:15 – They list his medical problems. First thing mentioned is low testosterone. This is fucking stupid. The second thing is something to do with his balls. It’s just insulting. This is not legitimate. I’m not saying that he doesn’t have these “problems”, maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t, but this isn’t something that you put in a legitimate documentary. This is done for comedy.
But anyway, it was a short list and nothing seemed serious. There wasn’t “diabetes” or some kind of life-long condition.
Nevertheless, in the next scene he’s holding a giant bag of medication that he takes. For what? They just gave an exhaustive list of all of his medical problems. “Obesity” wasn’t on there, by the way. What is he taking all of this medication for? For the eczema? This makes no fucking sense.
21:00 – Oh. Now, they’re continuing the list. You know what would have made a lot more sense? Giving the full list and then showing him with the bag of medication.
If he wasn’t 500 pounds, half of these things wouldn’t exist. At least half of them.
22:00 – Then the faggot who’s making this joke of a “documentary” says that he had to stop filming because it was making him sad. What? Fuck you. What a professional this guy is. Go find another fat guy you can film in the bathtub. Get all your perversions out of the way.
And why is this even in here? I don’t give a shit that Mike Clum is feeling sad so doesn’t want to film a fat guy in the bathtub. That’s his problem. He just wanted to insert himself into this woefully unprofessional “documentary”.
23:15 – So…oh. This is awful. So this Mike Clum faggot, who’s the gay “director” of this sham, “invited a mental health counselor, a comedian, and a Youtube consultant” to “analyze Boogie’s downfall.”
Which part of this is remotely legitimate? This is clearly some stupid fucking comedy set up. What the fuck is a comedian going to have to say that’s at all relevant to ANYTHING? Or any of these people, for that matter. “Mental health counselor”? That sounds like an entry level job. “Youtube consultant”? Fuck you. This is insulting my intelligence.
I wasn’t expecting The World at War. I know that it’s a documentary about a Youtuber. But…can there be ANY professionalism in this?
23:45 – Some maudlin music plays while Dr Todd Grande, who probably gave himself his doctorate, is talking about Boogie. And they say how many subscribers this fucking quack has on Youtube.
Let me look this up. This guy can not possible be legitimate. I want to see some credentials. What legitimate doctor would agree to this?
https://www.quora.com/Does-Dr-Todd-Grande-have-any-legitimate-credentials-in-psychology
Once again, Quora to the rescue. Thank you, the Indian subcontinent.
- Does Dr. Todd Grande have any legitimate credentials in psychology?”
His PhD is in EDUCATION. He doesn’t profess to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. He claims to be a COUNSELOR, which doesn’t require specific educational standards unless the person specializes in a particular field of counseling.
The issue that other professionals have with him is that they claim he is practicing psychology when what he is doing is applying psychological PRINCIPLES to his counseling methods. Hell, your bartender and barber do that, so what’s the issue?
(This is, in no means, and endorsement of the services provided by Todd Grande)
Fucking horseshit. This whole thing is a fraud. This whole documentary. This is all a setup. Nothing said is real. It’s all just “reality tv” bullshit. People (or at least Americans) no longer know what a documentary is supposed to look like because they’ve been fed this “reality tv” shit.
I didn’t see the “comedian” by the way. Maybe I missed it. These people were all jokes but not in a funny way.
25:45 – This “doctor” is talking again. Fuck off. We don’t care. You’re a conman. You’re an actor. A bad actor. Go fuck yourself.
26:45 – Now this “doctor”, who has no psychological qualifications AT ALL, is “diagnosing” Boogie, somebody who he has never even met. Fuck you and fuck the faggot who made this piece of shit fraudulent “documentary”.
This guy thinks that because he grows a beard, he can pretend to be Sigmund Freud. No. You need fucking qualifications. You need experience in the profession.
29:15 – So now this fucking faggot Mike Clum or whatever his name is set Boogie up with an employment agency of some description to help him get a job at Game Stop. Yeah. Because that’s how it works. You don’t just apply online or maybe go in person and ask the manager if he’s hiring. You go to an EMPLOYMENT AGENCY to get a job at Game Stop.
And this is unlike any employment agency I’ve ever seen. You have this woman in an extremely swank office giving a lot of attention to Boogie. She’s going to do everything she can get Boogie his dream job.
This is not how employment works. This is not how employment agencies work. This is more set up, fake, “reality tv” bullshit from the biggest faggot and fraud in the universe: Mike Clum.
They’re in Arkansas, by the way. I guess. This is how employment agencies operate in Arkansas? My view of Arkansas has been WOEFULLY misguided if this is at all typical.
Boogie starts talking about his depression and how he’s disabled. The woman gives a totally disingenous eye roll.
All of this is fake. This woman is mic’d up, by the way. Presumably Boogie is too. But NOBODY would start talking about this when looking for a job. And in the impossible scenario where somebody would talk about this stuff at an actual interview, the person doing the interview would not be such an insensitive bitch that she’d roll her eyes and let out a big sigh.
This is all fake. I’m reading the fucking comments and everybody is talking about what a visionary this Mike Clum guy is. Are they out of their minds? Do people not know what reality looks like any more? It’s not this. It’s not one set up scenario after another with fucking fake “experts”.
Watch Hoop Dreams. The director went around filming what ACTUALLY HAPPENED. He didn’t set up fake scenarios. He didn’t say, “Let me get a fake psychologist and a shit comedian to add their two cents”. Fuck this shit.
This is what American tv is like now and has been like for the past 20 or 30 years. It’s unwatchable. Everything has to be fake. Everything has to be over the top. Nothing can be real.
And people growing up with this, this is what they think is normal. And this is the end result. You get this fake as fuck bullshit “documentary”.
30:45 – He talks about his porn experience. And this woman says, “Be real with me, do you really think it would be a good idea to go to a job interview and reference porn?”
She was reading that. This was not organic. This was a line given to her. This is all set up. But it’s a bizarre glimpse of reality in this totally ficticious “documentary”. This is what a normal person would say. This is a normal person’s reaction to this totally fake setup where Boogie comes into this fake employment agency and starts saying obviously ridiculous shit.
31:15 – Then Mike Clum, who’s a fraud, is “interviewing” Dawn, the staffing professional. No last name for Dawn. No place of employment. This is all fake. She’s just some fat chick who they found locally doing community theatre. This is all a complete con. “Reality tv”.
31:45 – Then we get footage of Mike Clum, who just got done checking out the local boys on Grindr, on his phone listening to a voice message that Boogie allegedly sent him saying that he doesn’t want to get a job. Oopsie. Sorry about that whole fake setup where I went to the “employment agency”. Actually, I don’t want to do that.
If he wanted a job, all he had to do was go to Gamestop and speak to the manager. Done. He has a job. Famous Youtuber Boogie is working at the local Gamestop.
But no. They had to set up this fake employment agency, hire a local actress, and go through this whole bullshit. Because the goal was not to find a job for Boogie. The goal was create another comedy setup for this fake as fuck “documentary”.
32:45 – Three months later, allegedly, faggot ass Mike Clum is back and there’s another fake, set up scenario where Boogie introduces his 20 year old girlfriend.
Now, I’ve already seen the rest of this “documentary” so I’m going to stop here. Because I can’t watch this again. But he has this 20 year old girlfriend, and it’s creepy, but she’s not a looker and she’s obviously mentally ill so I can maybe understand why she’s with Boogie.
They show her taking a bath with him. That’s some more fake, setup, bullshit, of course.
Then the video ends. The point of this thing is to show that Boogie doesn’t have any money. Great.
But we also learned that Mike Clum has no idea what a documentary is. He’s watching too much Real Housewives of Atlanta or whatever fucking womanly bullshit that this faggot enjoys.
I know that documentaries have a certain degree of set up situations. Even nature documentaries. They’re not just stumbling upon perfect scenarios. They’ll set the preying mantis on the leaf next to the caterpillar and hope to capture that “spontaneous” moment, for example.
But this was nothing but setups. And they had fake fucking “experts” like it’s Pawn Stars.
I’m not saying that this guy had to follow Boogie around all day, every day, for months, hoping to capture a momentous occasion. He could have sat him down and had an HONEST discussion with him. He could have shown him filming a Youtube video. He could have shown him going on a date with this woman. He could have interviewed the woman. This is a documentary. Not, “Hey, let’s interview the actress playing the recruiter for that fake job interview bit that we did.”
You can’t believe anything that happened here. It started off fake. It started off with him taking a bath in his trunks. As you do. I’m always bathing in swimwear. I like a little modesty when I’m taking a bath.
Fucking shit. Fuck this guy Mike Clum. He has no talent for this. You want to make 90 Day Fiance, go do that. Go do that effeminate reality tv bullshit that appeals to braindead American housewives. But to call this thing a documentary? Fuck you. You don’t know what a documentary is.