Atari MAIL-ORDER Video Games! Chase the Chuck Wagon, Tooth Protectors & More! – Irate Gamer

Here’s one that I missed. Seems like I wasn’t the only one. 15,000 views after two months.

It starts with Chris BORES doing a really bizarre line reading then there’s some terrible animation coupled with his usually god awful “comedy” facial contortions.

It looks like he forgot to shave too.

1:45 – He’s talking about some dog food game.

3:00 – I can not stand his terrible acting. Just stop with this. There has to be a better way to present the material. Pretending to be “irate” is not the way forward. Just review the game in a semi-interesting fashion.

And the needless profanity. I know that I say “fuck” ten times in every article but it’s not for comedic purposes. I’m just replicating my natural speech when I’m speaking to adult men in a casual setting.

Chris BORES’ forced use of profanity is not funny and it adds nothing to the video. It only detracts. Just like his horrible acting detracts.

He seems to have great difficulty navigating the maze in this game. I’ve never played the game but I strongly suspect that he’s doing something wrong.

Then he dies. Makes an idiotic face with his mouth agape. And says “fuck” in post-production.

15,000 views, Chris BORES. Is your dignity worth so little?

4:15 – “That’s it. Take the dog food and shove it up your asshole, asshole.”

That wasn’t very creative. But Chris BORES has a bizarre, homosexual obsession with asses and putting things into asses. And who can forget the extremely troubling “boner biting dogs” comment? I don’t even want to know what he’s into.

4:30 – Now he’s talking about a toothpaste game. I’m guessing that he’s going to perform poorly at the game, make dumb faces, and then get “irate”.

“Is this a game that really needed an existence?”

Bizarre turn of phrase.

6:00 – He’s complaining about how the enemy swoops in and kills you “with no warning whatsoever”. He obviously doesn’t know how to play the game. I’m suspecting, just based on his gameplay, that it’s because he missed too many of these balls that are being dropped on him. But Chris BORES has no explanation as to why he keeps dying and can’t be bothered to figure out the rules of this extremely simple game. It would have taken him two minutes to find the manual online and read it.

6:45 – This is so humiliating that I won’t even mention what’s happening. Get some dignity, Chris BORES.

6:45 – Kool Aid Man. It’s just going to be more of the same isn’t it?

He had surpisingly little to say about the game. Well, thank god for small mercies.

8:00 – Malagai. Whatever this is.

Chris BORES doesn’t know either. He spent about 30 seconds on this game just to capture the footage and then moved on.

8:45 – Some game called Gauntlet, but not the popular arcade game.

The character is called Robert Wittenbottom, which Chris BORES bizarrely pronounces “Witten-Bitten”. You’d think he’s welcome the opportunity to make another sodomy “joke”.

He describes the landscape of the game as “Having more objects than you’d ever find corn in your faeces.”

So…I mean…it’s just another disgusting scat “joke” that he oddly thinks that people find funny. But again, it makes no fucking sense. Jokes have to have some basis in reality.

Is corn in the faeces a common problem for Chris BORES? I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced that, even when I ate corn. I haven’t had corn in probably…I don’t know…25 years?

9:30 – He describes the game as being similar to Pitfall. What? I mean…both games have you playing as a man but beyond that, I don’t see the similarities.

Then, after a mercifully brief animated “joke”, the video ends. Thank fuck.

  • “I can’t believe this only has 11K views. I’d take a 10 minute video like this over a 25 minute+ boring video filled with terrible acting and unfunny jokes that some other Angry reviewer puts out nowadays.”

Chris BORES says, “I pissed YouTube off in 2012 and it’s never been the same since.”

Plus, your videos suck dick.

Let’s check out the BORES man’s Twitter. It might be a while before I talk about him again.

“Chris Bores – Ghost Behaviorist”

Oh god. He really needs to stop this. He’s never going to make a penny off of this shit.

He’s the biggest ghost hunter in Toledo. All of the local news channels, which are dying and will let anybody on, really want him to appear on their show.

Chris, it’s bullshit. Nobody over the age of seven believes in ghosts. You must know this.

Nobody cares. There are two comments. Come on. Just get a job. It’s not that bad.

The channel has fewer than 4,000 subscribers, by the way.

Here’s a video where a ghost pulls a piece of paper in front of Chris BORES.

A piece of paper slightly moves. It’s called gravity, BORES.

2 thoughts on “Atari MAIL-ORDER Video Games! Chase the Chuck Wagon, Tooth Protectors & More! – Irate Gamer

  1. Chris BORES made the rounds on The Truth. He said he wrote muh kids and no time into the script of their collab. He said Bimmy was such a fucking retard he didn’t understand what it was so Chris BORES had to drop it. It raises many questions. How can Nimmy be so dedicated to “film” that he refuse to say lines given to him? What if that happened to him on his movie? Hey I’m I don’t understand what the hell Daaawth Maithzbsgaxyzwtf is. I don’t know how pronounce this autisticly retarded made up non sequitur bullshit! Can we just drop it? Probably the right call but actors are supposed to follow the script and director!

    Chris BORES just gives up because he’s dealing with a retard? Why can’t he just say read the fucking line!? You can’t utter the words “no time” unless you fully understand why? FUCK!!!

    But still I wonder how long this back and forth was. That might be funny to see.

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