Gamer Girls

0:00 – “Why am I dressed like a mummy?”

Because you’re a dumb bitch and think that there’s such a thing as a “sexy mummy” costume.

And, as always, it’s so fucking zero-effort. This costume is half a step above wrapping yourself in toilet paper.

“Well, I’ve got myself all wrapped up into Sega Genesis games lately.”

She said this after an edit and it was STILL hard to figure out what she was saying. I had listen to it like five times.

But yeah, she’s a big Sega Genesis fan, guys. She’s been playing this shit all day, every day.

And looking at this costume, she wrapped every part of her torso except for that fucking god awful ice cream tattoo on her arm. Why? That should have been the first place that she covered.

Then we get to the gameplay. She’s CLEARLY playing this game for the first time in her life. Of course.

1:15 – God, I just can’t get over how bad this costume is. It might just be the worst fucking costume I’ve ever seen. Why would she wear THIS? Shishi wants SEXY Halloween costumes. She looks like a fucking hobo.

1:45 – She dies because she clearly had NO IDEA what was happening, never having played this before, and she says, “Sometimes it’s hard for me to play and explain things at the same time.”

It wouldn’t be if you had any experience whatsoever with this game. Why not just admit that you never played it before? After Erin’s last video where she just does this, I thought that we were making progress. But no. We’re back to the fucking lies.

2:00 – She repeatedly refers to a beanie with propeller on it as a “spinny hat.” What a fucking moron.

A lot of edits in this video. She’s editing out gameplay. Randomly. You don’t know what the fuck is going on. This is AWFUL.

She keeps complaining about things that you would pick up on during your second attempt at playing the game.

4:15 – “There we go. That only took, like, five minutes.”

She said this after she got stuck very early in level 2 and didn’t know where to go. But she edited out the five minutes of her bumbling around so…we didn’t see that.

“Oh wow. That was a short level. That felt very short.”

Why is it a surprise?

This is the fucking problem. Erin OBVIOUSLY has never played this game before. I get it. We all know this.

But there’s a cognitive dissonance because Erin repeatedly says that she has played the game before. So you watch the video and it’s uncomfortable. You can see that she obviously never played the game before but she keeps saying that she has.

You know what crazy Bobdunga would call this? “Gaslighting.” Stop gaslighting the audience, Erin. No amount of your lies will ever get me to believe that you played this game before. Apply this same lesson to every video you ever make. It’s all bullshit. We know that you don’t play video games and never have. JUST ADMIT IT. NOBODY CARES. The issue is the gaslighting.

4:45 – “I have no idea where I’m going.”

This statement makes perfect sense and isn’t remotely annoying if we assume, as is factual, that Erin has never played the game before.

But the rage comes in because Erin has already established that she has played the game before. And she’s repeating this lie throughout the the video.

So you’re watching the video and you’re thinking “wait a minute…how can she be lost on the third level when she keeps saying that she’s played the game before?” It’s an uncomfortable viewing experience.

5:30 – She’s at the boss. She was surprised that the boss appeared. And then she proceeded to engage in the worst boss fight of all time. She clearly had no idea how to beat this boss, having never seen him before, but worse that than, her “strategy” was to stand IN THE BOSS while doing nothing but taking damage. Tell me how that’s going to work. Show me one game where that’s the winning strategy.

And throughout all of this, she keeps reminding you that she’s played the game before. It’s constant fucking lies. And for what purpose?

6:00 – “Oh it starts you from the very beginning? That sucks.”

Somehow…oh fuck. It’s just the same argument every time. Anybody who played the game even ONE TIME would know that you restart at the beginning of the level. Erin doesn’t know this. And yet, throughout the video she talked about how she played the game before. How do we reconcile this?

8:00 – “Was that even the boss or was that the midboss, I guess? Oh, that was the boss. Okay, cool.”

I’m done. I can’t watch any more. It’s driving me insane. Why does she lie like this? What she’s saying cannot possibly be true. And yet she repeats this same lie in every fucking video. She pretends to be familiar with the game and then she demonstrates a complete lack of knowledge about ANYTHING in regards to the game.

And this time, to add to the madness, she’s doing it dressed as a HOBO.

• “Maybe one day Erin will have covered every 16-bit and 8-bit game in videos such as this. What a nice dream to have! 😊 I appreciate the effort with the mummy costume, and yes, I’m here for Erin’s commentary! This channel is always a cosy time.”

How? How is any of this true? How can anybody possibly enjoy the videos? How can anybody possibly enjoy the commentary? How can anybody possibly enjoy that costume? It’s like I’m on another planet. Fucking Retard Planet.

There’s a movie idea for old Newt. Planet of the Retards. Like Planet of the Apes but instead of highly-evolved apes taking over earth, it’s retards. This thing writes itself. Well, it’s already a movie. Just replace the apes with retards.

• “Great mummy cosplay Erin!”
• “I love your mummy costume!!! Very unexpected when I open the video, hehehe.”

How is it possible that anybody can believe that?

A lot of people in the comments say that this game is a re-skin of a Japanese game based on an anime. I guess that Erin “forgot” about that.

• “Wooo, oil rag custom? Very unique compared to past customs”

I guess “unique” is one way to put it.