The Horror of Crystal Quin’s Twitter

It’s that time of year again when the Horse-Faced Wraith of the Night terrorises the internet with her self-absorbed, boring as fuck content. You’ll crap your pants in tedium. Marvel at her unjustifiably high opinion of herself.

Don’t bother looking for the video. It’s a “members only” video from a channel that has 5,000 subscribers. Their videos get 300 views on average. And yet they think that they can justify having a members only section. For who? The two people who are members?

It’s some awful podcast about ghosts. What am I? Seven years old? Do a podcast on the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy while you’re at it.

Anyway, Horseface promotes these people A LOT. She must have some deal with them. She’ll get three cents for everybody who subscribes through her.

Here’s Horseface in Salem, Massachusetts. Did I ever tell my Salem, Massachusetts story? Well, it bears repeating.

I was looking for a job. And really desperate. So I applied to some job. I don’t remember what it was. But it was in Salem. So they called me and they said, “You can come in for an interview but are you sure you want to?” And I said, “Yeah, it’s no problem.” And the guy said, “But we’re in Salem.” I said, “Salem?” He said, “Yeah, you know, with the witches. It’s pretty far from where you live.” I didn’t know how far so I told that I’d be there. Then I looked it up and it was like two hours away so I said fuck that.

“Wait a minute. That story wasn’t remotely interesting.”

Relax. It will be the most interesting part of this article. Back to Horseface then.

I’m only posting this one because I’m glad to see that she’s wearing a full top. Maybe she should start wearing half-sweaters. But the good thing about the approaching winter is that it means no more Horseface in half a top. Right? She wouldn’t do that to us.

Eugh. You’re revolting Horseface. When is reality going to hit you?

She’s a big wrestling fan, guys. You know, that thing that ten year old boys enjoy.

There were so many conversations about wrestling at school in like the fourth to sixth grades. Talking about Randy Savage and Jimmy Snuka and Demolition and whatnot. Wrestling in the front lawn of my friend’s house.

But then you start getting interested in girls. So you begin to lose interest in watching a bunch of roided up, sweaty men play fighting.

Anyone over the age of 16 still watching wrestling has some real problems.

And today’s product is completely pussified. I was watching it in the 1990s when it was edgy and hot and geared to horny adolescents. Now the stuff is aimed at children. Children and sexless man babies.

You know how many females I’ve known who watched wrestling? One. She was a classmate of mine. She was really into sports. All kinds of sports. She’d watch this shit on tv. American football and whatever. And she grew up to be a hardcore butch lesbian. The signs were all there.

But now, you look at these nerd sites, and there’s always some woman trying to prey on nerds who claims that she likes wrestling. Oh, do tell. What about this brainless bullshit that’s geared to 7 year old boys do you find so appealing?

Total frauds every single one of them. These same women claim to be interested in video games, Star Trek, fucking Doctor Who. You name a nerd topic and they’ll pretend to be interested in it. Now give them money.

Hey, Horseface, it’s HORRORcon. Not WHOREcon.

Get it? Because Horseface likes those sexy ladies. And sexy ladies like Horseface. Because look at her. She’s a smoke show, young lady.


11 thoughts on “The Horror of Crystal Quin’s Twitter

  1. Wrestling was good all the way up to 2008 when Benoit died. It was actually raunchier after the Monday night Wars were over and nobody was paying attention. There was one scene where Dawn Marie was married to Torrie Wilson’s real life dad to get his money and when she took her top off on the honeymoon he had a heart attack and died! There was one time where Bischoff made Stephanie McMahon perform hot lesbian action because she lost a match. Triple H fucked a mannequin!! Every single diva was in playboy. Almost all of them showed pussy! This was all 2000-2008. I think once you’re older than the champion though it’s time to hang it up. Same with other sports. Why do I care if a 22 year old guy can run back a kick for a touchdown?

    But I don’t understand the fake interest for this to get a few dollars from retarded man children. If it was millions it’d make sense but it seems like so much work. And if there wasn’t this minuscule amount of money involved, they’d never do it. They would NEVER fuck any of these guys. They would never talk to them! What’s his name on Twitter! She never writes back!!!!!

    Eh whatever waste your life ladies. The downhill slide is fun to laugh at.

    1. Really? I stopped watching wrestling in like 1995. I was 17 or 18. But I thought that everything took a complete nosedive after WCW went out of business. It was geared to children. They had Muppets and shit on the show. They had to make everything tame to satisfy their PG rating requirements.

      Personally, the raunchiness was a turnoff for me. I’m here to watch wrestling, not pornography. It’s basically the same complaint I have about a lot of these women Youtubers. I like sexy ladies and all but…there’s a time and a place. I like other things too.

      So when WWF became straight porn, I tuned out and stuck with WCW. But then WCW, when they realised how well WWF was doing with their pornographic shit, did the same, that’s when I was done with wrestling.

      I remember trying to watch TNA like 20 years ago and it was just one stupid scripted skit after another. There was like ten minutes of wrestling in a two hour show. I couldn’t believe it. But I think that this is what wrestling is now and has been for some considerable time. I’m not watching that childish nonsense.”Tater tots” and “Fruity Pebbles” and whatever.

      1. I can see that. The in ring stuff never changed. But after Benoit killed himself they removed all the R rated stuff and stopped all dangerous spots. CM Punk had a good run and it felt “real” when was champ the last time but after that it sucked again.

        TNA was only tolerable when they weren’t droning on about “taking things to the next level” to compete with WWE.

        It’s funny to think about the sea change Monday night had because in the old days the wrestling shows sucked ass. Undertaker vs jobber. Pretaped message by Hulk Hogan. If you wanted to see something good without jobbers you had to go live in person. And even live, no title changes nothing. Just the boring feud that’s been going on like a year semi resolved.

  2. I found a comment on The Cinemassacre Truth claiming that Horseface is having sex with Justin Silverman, claiming that he heard it from a Retroware/Screenwave employee. Real or just a weird fantasy?

    1. It’s not. Not only is his fat so massive he can’t get his dick out, he doesn’t have the circulation needed to get a boner. He also has to sleep sitting up or he will die on his sleep and there’s like 100 other problems super obese people have to deal with. And the guy who told me all this was only 300 lbs! Also whenever he has to take a shit he has to take a full shower because he can’t reach his shit smeared asshole.

  3. Horseface so desperately wants to belong to ANYTHING. Her “interests” change like the wind. Oh, fake lesbianism isn’t working today? Well, let’s go to a metal show instead. What, no one paid any attention to me at the concert? Time to go to a disco in Atlantic City! But first, let me stop and pick up a basic bitch pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks!

    She is a loser’s loser with no real identity and no real friends.

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