Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man on NES – Erin Plays

This is so absolute zero effort. She just did a video of an NES game starting with the letter “L”. Not coincidentally, she recently streamed the NES games that start with the letter “L”.

I’d like to point out that Erin’s previous video where she talked about controllers did remarkably poorly. Well, actually, I guess it only did poorly compared to her two recent videos on NES games starting with the letter “L”. Oh fuck. I hope that this doesn’t become her thing that she beats into the ground to try to get pennies.

She’s in her Hamburglar top. But not the Hamburglar top that was the inspiration for the banner. This is a short-sleeved Hamburglar top. She must really like black and white horizonontally-striped tops. Her choice of attire is just as boring as everything else she does. “I’d like a plain black and white, horizontally-striped top, please.”

0:00 – “I thought it would be fun to stream some Low G Man, the Low Gravity Man on NES.”

Oh. Fuck off. I’m already sick of this.

“I didn’t find out about this game until fairly recently because I’ve been doing some streams of NES games alphabetically.”

Wait…what? Is this really happening? Is Erin telling the truth about her experience with a video game for once? That she just played it once, on stream, for money? Is she finally taking my advice that I’ve been giving for the past four fucking years to do just that? To just stop the fucking lies and obfuscation?

She said that she played the game on stream, for money, liked it, and wants to play it again for a YouTube video.

Yeah. That’s all you had to fucking say, Erin. What was so hard about that? Is ShiShi unsubscribing right now? “Oh, she’s not a real gamer. I can’t watch this.” Erin…we all figured out that you’re not a real gamer on day one. Even the biggest fucking retard figured it out on the first day. Nobody cares. That’s not what they’re there for. They’re watching these videos with their pants around their ankles.

0:30 – “I really like little robots and I like Ed 209 from Robocop.”

This was a comment that she said right after an edit. She prepared this. She doesn’t fucking know who Ed 209. WHY WOULD SHE? WHY WOULD ANYONE?

But the horntards obviously told her that the robot in this game looks like Ed 209 so she’s mentioning it.

“This is little Ed 209s. Aren’t they cute?”

Eugh. Just stop making videos, Erin. ShiShi will find somebody else to jerk off to. I’ll do something else with my time. It will be the best thing for everybody.

2:15 – This part, if I remember correctly, the colour scheme is not good.

Fuck off.

“See? It’s a lot of magenta but not in a good way.”

Keep fucking.

2:30 – “I feel like…I don’t know. I like magenta and I like cyan.”

I’m about to stop the video. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth getting upset over this fucking moron talking about colours. She started the video being honest about her experience with the game. Fine. That’s enough for an article. I don’t have to watch all of this shit.

2:45 – “There’s jumpy little Slinky enemies. I think they’re adorable.”

Who’s the target audience for any of this commentary?

4:15 – “So I guess we’re saving hostages too? I’m not entirely sure what this level is about but that’s okay.”


4:45 – She’s constantly shooting one of these “hostages” in a vehicle. CLEARLY the only way to rescue these people is after you lose your vehicle. The vehicle is a limited-time thing. I figured this out immediately, the first time I saw Erin do this. But she still doesn’t know what’s going on.

Then something pops up saying, “I eventually figured out that you have to be out of your vehicle to save them lol”.

7:00 – She’s talking about a drink called “fireball”. Alcoholic beverage, presumably. She says that she drank it in her 20s.

7:45 – “I hope there’s robots like this in the future. Well, maybe I don’t because these ones are trying to kill me. Okay, I hope there’s cute little robots in the future.”

It’s so beyond stupid that there’s nothing that I can even add.

11:45 – “So that was Low G Man on NES. I wish I could have gotten further but…”

But you only played the game once, on stream, for money. And you don’t play games in your spare times. Fine, Erin. Do you see how simple that was? Nothing is easier than telling the truth. Lying is difficult.

12:00 – Then there’s an edit and she’s playing the game again, on a different day, trying to beat some boss. Fuck. I don’t care.

She beats this boss then SUCKS GIANT PENIS on the next level and quickly gives up.

What a fucking waste of time that was. Why even include this in the video?

Then after some more painfully uninteresting commentary, the video FINALLY ends.

Holy shit that was terrible. But not nearly as bad as it could have been. The honesty makes a HUGE difference. Instead of her floundering around and me saying, “What do you mean you don’t know what you’re doing? You started the video by implying that you’ve played this game for years” I just say, “Oh. She sucks dick at the game because, as she said, she only played it briefly, on stream, for money. I can’t fault her for sucking then. It all makes sense.”

What does the good book have to say about honesty? I’m actually thinking not much.

There are six things that the LORD hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.

Proverbs 6:16–20

I’m not sure of the numbering on that one. Is it six or seven? And, perhaps connected, “lying” seems to appear twice.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

James 1:26

8 thoughts on “Low G Man: The Low Gravity Man on NES – Erin Plays

  1. Lying and false witness are separate issues in biblical times. It’s kind of like murder and being an accessory to murder. The false witness isn’t lying per se but is perpetuating it. Which in the the days before dna and videotape, I’m sure witnesses were taken very seriously.

  2. Do you get enjoyment out of living at all? I can’t imagine you do by spending time only focusing on things that make you angry and upset. Maybe try a different hobby that doesn’t involve complaining about shit nobody cares about.

    1. Fuck you! This site is hilarious! If you seriously think this guy obsesses of Erin all day you’re a retard. If you think of the author like he’s writing a novel or some other kind of literary work, you’ll see the genius in it.

  3. Yeah I watched the video. I am not subscribed to her channel but I guess YouTube knows best… so it showed to me at the top of my video feed.
    Whenever I see a new Erin Plays is available, I remember the reason why I started watching her videos, quite a long time ago: yes, the infamous Nintendo Power Pad. She does not have like the best body in the world, nor the most beautiful face. Heck, she isn’t even nice to listen to. But, and I hope I can make my point, she was different. As I said before, I have loved video games my whole life and it is painful to see this topic consumed by fat bald losers. I am not fat, nor bald and I do pretty well for myself, thank you very much. So if I am going to spend a few minutes of my free time watching retro stuff, it might as well be better to watch a young red head, showing legs and all.
    So Erin, if you are reading this, as the blog has clearly stated in many occasions, we are not really interested in “deep retro gaming console knowledge” or “above average playing skills”. Maybe all we want is to forget for a moment about our daily jobs, the fat bald losers (both in the gaming YouTube community and in real life) and relax. We want to relax by listening to something marginally related to games, but with a red head woman in the screen. Yes, I’d settle down for that.
    So, for the love of god, stop making your content about “gameplay”. Taking a disproportionate section of the screen for the game footage, all we see from you is your face from the worst possible angle, at the top left corner, too small to get any meaningful details. And the games you select to play suck, your gameplay suck, the sound of those games suck. If this is what you are selling, can we fucking get more redhead action on screen please?

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