Gamer Girls

1:15 – He shows a Funcopop that Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee aka “The Redhead” gave him. He just had it nearby. Within arm’s reach. He probably rubs it on his penis while Joe from Gamesack watches.

These people are humouring Newt’s delusions that he’s a film maker. Asking him to write scripts about various shit.

11:30 – Katie Cook says, “it’s nice to hear people talk about fun things like halloween 5, and shark excorsists. I lost a special dog friend today. so thanks for coming on and comforting me guys!”

Newt replies, “Oh, man. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you lost somebody today, man. I know very much what that’s like so I commiserate with you.”

Now, I’m not actually watching. I’m doing other things. So at first, I assumed that this person was talking about somebody they know who died. You know…a HUMAN BEING. So I thought, “What an asshole that Newt immediately brings this back to himself and all of the dead chicks that he fucked up the ass.”

This ladyboy is talking about his fucking dog. Who the fuck cares? “Gee, guys! Thanks for cheering me up with your Shark Vampire talk! I had to put my doggie down today.”

First of all, there’s no way that it’s a woman. Even Newt repeatedly refers to him as a man. Secondly, fuck you.

12:30 – Newt says that he was offered two jobs this week so he’s going to leave some job that he’s doing now.

15:30 – Newt says that people called his new job and blames Reddit. That’s almost certainly the case.

16:15 – Newt says that he met up with a “friend” to give her her stuff back. Uh huh. More buttsex with prostitutes? Tell us all about it, Newt. We’re jerking off here.

32:15 – Somebody is knocking on Newt’s door so he gets up to answer it. Who can it be? This is a real cliffhanger. Some faggot from Reddit? An angry prostitute?

36:45 – Newt returns. He says that across the street from him is a tattoo shop and a “pot shop”. He must really live in an upscale neighbourhood.

It was the police at the door asking for Newt’s door camera footage because somebody backed their car into the deli across the street.

But yeah, I make it a hard rule never to live above a shop. Those places are cheaper but they’re shit. It’s noisy, they’re infested. They’re especially infestested if you’re above a restaurant but any type of shop seems to invite infestation.

You can find a place as cheap if you just move further out or find a less desirable area.

40:45 – Newt says that Dark Knight Rises is his least favourite Batman movie, it’s being re-released, and he won’t be seeing it. It’s a reference to Tony from Hack the Movies aka The Italian being in some crowd scene.

Newt…YOU did the plagiarising. Nobody else. You’re also the one who said whatever heinous shit you said to get Tony and Horseface and Kieran and everybody at Screenwave to shun you. Take responsibility.

I mean, what did Tony do? “Tony should have taken my plagiarism and insulting comments with grace.” Fuck you, Newt.

I’m stopping this at 42:00. It’s boring.

He starts by talking about what a big Fall Guy fan his uncle is.

I can see that. I don’t remember Fall Guy AT ALL. Nobody was watching that shit. But I was only watching shitty kids shows in the 80s. There was nobody watching shows for adults.

It was on from 1981 to 1986. Wasn’t Newt born in like 1982? Is he going to pull a Mike Matei and pretend to remember stuff when he was four years old?

1:00 – Newt says that the director was a stuntman and the movie is a “love letter to stuntmen.”

Newt should make a movie that’s a love letter to plagiarists. Who are some of the great plagiarists of all time? People always cite Martin Luther King Jr. But then you have people who say that it was just common to plagiarise stuff in those days. Could that be right? In the 1960s? Because by the 1980s this was certainly frowned upon.

Hey, there’s actually a website for plagiarists.

https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2015/02/10/5-great-people-who-plagiarized

Top of the list, Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah.

https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2012/08/21/5-famous-plagiarists-where-are-they-now

Here’s another good one. Oh yeah. Jayson Blair. At least as of 2016, he’s working as a life coach. I’d like more up-to-date information.

Back to Newt.

What the hell am I watching this for? Brian Gosling. What the fuck do I care?

So I’ve been looking for work for like nine months. Nothing. Not a single interview. And I was looking for jobs in my field. I replied to probably 100 job ads. I sent another 10 people who I know my resume cold. Nothing.

So I said fuck it. I’m going to broaden my search and look for jobs outside of my field.

I started three days ago. I replied to five ads and I already have two interviews. The jobs pay more than the jobs I was looking at and they’re easier. What the fuck was I doing? I was wasting all of my fucking time with that shit sending resumes to scumbags who don’t appreciate my skills and experience.

I can’t wait to tell these people that I’m fucking done with this shit. Fuck them. And fuck all the indignities that I’ve had to suffer with this job.

And if I can get a job with this organisation that I have the interview with, it would be a proper job. No more self-employed bullshit where I have to constantly chase up payments and threaten people with lawsuits. I just go in, do the fucking work, and they pay me. There’s a company pension. There’s career progression. I can move elsewhere. And it’s more than I’m making now.

So even if I don’t get these two jobs, I’m pretty confident that I’ll get something soon.

You look at The Ideas Man and he always seems to be able to find work quickly. That’s how I remember the US being. If you’re willing to do anything, you’ll find a job.

I remember applying to some security guard job and they told me to come in to fill in some paperwork. There was no interview, it was just, “You want the job? You’re hired.” But the place was like an hour away so I asked what the pay is. They said like $5.50. I said, “What? I can’t live on that.” I made $8.50/hour working as a security guard a few months earlier. So they just said, “Oh.” I let the expletives fly. Fuck you. Wasting my fucking time with this shit.

There was another time when I was working as a substitute teacher. No interview there either. I don’t even think that there was a police background check. I just contacted them, they asked me to come in, I filled in some form, and they put me on the schedule. No training. No instructions whatsoever. Just tomorrow morning, go to the school and whatever happens, happens. $75/day.

I also delivered pizzas. No interview there either. I just gave them my resume one day and a few months later, they called asking if I was still looking for work. I was. Great. You can start driving for us.

0:00 – He says that he shaved. I’ve never tried to grow any facial hair. Is that weird? Am I missing out on something important?

I don’t think that anything would grow. I don’t use shaving cream or gel or anything. Just once every day or two I wet a razor and shave my upper lip, the area by my ears, and my chin. I use tweezers for everything else. Maybe I could grow a moustache. Maybe. But I’m pretty sure that that’s it. Maybe a creepy moustache is the answer to all of my problems.

3:00 – Newt is telling some cryptic story about a director of some shitty movies who unfriended him on Facebook after thinking that he’s Jewish. He did some work for this director, apparently. The director is a woman, by the way.

“American Fetish X is one that she asked me to work on and I got her some friends of mine, this is like 2011, I got her friends of mine who were sex workers at the time and nothing ever came of that whole thing.”

Newt openly admitting that he has “sex worker” “friends”. He’s a complete piece of shit.

Speaking of which, I think that Newt tried to get the blog shut down after I posted this article:

You know what happened? Nothing. It’s some of that delicious free speech.

Newt will bitch about Youtube trying to silence him over the disgusting porn that he uploads there but I can’t talk about what a piece of shit he is? Fuck off.

6:00 – “How’s the new job? It’s a lot. I’m a little bit regretting some of the decisions that I made. I turned down a dream job because I was trying to get out of the theatre industry but now I’m kind of regretting it.”

Somebody left a comment on the blog, somebody who seems to be in Newt’s inner circle, and they said that he’s working in that he’s working at FYE now. It’s some chain of nerd shops, apparently.

If it was such a dream job why turn it down to work in retail management?

8:00 – Newt says that it was Passover recently so had a large number of Jewish people come into his establishment. But…he’s talking about…like a go kart track, I think. So Newt is working at a go kart track? In addition to FYE or instead of it? Is he still working at the movie theatre?

9:00 – Newt says that he asked people to review Swamp Zombies 2 but, “There weren’t a lot of people chomping at the bit to review that one.”

Well, no shit. It’s worse than a student film.

10:30 – Newt says that he’s shadowbanned from Youtube. Well, posting pornography can have that result.

11:30 – Newt is talking about a “Ukranian girl” who he “cast” in some unreleased softcore porn that never got finished. She shows her breasts. He says that she died a few years ago. I know where this is going. You fucked her in the ass, right? You’re going to tell us about all of the sodomy that you got up to with this dead chick? This seems to be Newt’s thing.

Oh, and she died of cancer too. Just like his “friend” with that sweet colon.

12:15 – Newt is talking about public domain movies that he wants to plagiarise from. Creature from the Haunted Sea is the movie that he wants to rip off. Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.

21:30 – The “dream job” that he referenced earlier was “house manager” at the Colonial Theatre.

He declined that to work in a nerd shop and/or a go kart track. Watching Orthodox Jews go around and around in a circle all day. What a life.

I’m going to go get some cereal. Keep my energy up.

27:30 – Creator Clash. Somebody asks Newt if he would do it. Newt says that it’s been cancelled because the people who ran it owed a lot of people money.

But that would be great. Newt Wallen vs James Rolfe. Unfortunately, no doctor on earth would sanction Newt as being fighting fit.

30:00 – Newt says that his boners are okay now. Well, Joe from Gamesack will be pleased to hear that.

32:30 – “A young lady who’s a very, very attractive young lady, who’s a friend of Metz’ wants to come and stream with us as well.”

What a piece of shit Newt is.

But back to Joe from Gamesack looking at Newt’s penis, how fucking weird is all of this? I was watching Joe’s latest video today. And I was thinking Joe from Gamesack knows about the blog, Newt knows about it, Erin, whoever. And it’s a blog. It’s a blog that gets 200 hits a day.

Not that these people are big time celebrities by any means. Most of them are unemployed. Newt at least works so I’ll give him that. That’s his one redeeming quality, perhaps. But I suppose that these people have some kind of followings. 200,000 subscribers for John Riggs. But that guy still makes time to check out the blog every day.

I don’t care because these people are complete nobodies. They’re entirely beneath me. But imagine if you were writing a blog about some big Hollywood celebrity. Dolly Parton, let’s say. And every day, I’m writing about what a piece of trash she is.

I would shit my pants if Dolly Parton started reading the blog. Well, maybe I should branch out. Start writing about large bust celebrities. Maybe I could get a date out of it.

There used to be a blog called Washed up Celebrities. It still exists but it hasn’t been updated since 2014. And the guy wrote an article about Harriet from Small Wonder. And the boyfriend or husband or Harriet said that she’s not washed up, she’s a pleasant woman, and if you knew her you wouldn’t write these things. This sort of thing.

So maybe it’s possible. I can start talking about Kat Dennings and whoever and before you know it, I’m fucking Hollywood movie starlets.

But back to The Ideas Man.

34:00 – “I had to stop seeing my therapist because of financial reasons.”

I don’t think that it was doing any good anyway.

“I stopped meds all together because it was making me feel off.”

It seems that the “meds” didn’t do anything either. By the way, I REALLY hate how people say “meds”. It’s always crazy people who use this term.

35:00 – Newt says that he has six months left on his lease and he was, “Offered to move out of the area.” Whatever that means.

So leases are 12 months in the US? Maybe they are. I don’t remember. They’re definitely six months in England. ZERO in Scotland. It’s glorious. And landlords have to have a really good reason to kick you out. There’s no more “no-fault” evictions. You have to be really behind on your rent or a verified public nuisance.

I was evicted once because the landlord wanted to fix the floor in the bathroom and he knew that this would require putting me in a hotel for a few days. He didn’t want that minor expense so he just evicted me. What an asshole. You wouldn’t be able to do that today.

36:45 – Oh, he says that was “offered to move to Albany, New York.” He’s talking about job offers.

“I’m worried about leaving this area because this is where my friends are.”

Newt…they have prostitutes in Albany too. Don’t worry about it.

How far away is it anyway? 230 miles…five hour drive. Yeah, that is pretty far. And you have to go through New York City. Fuck that. Also Poughkeepsie.

50:00 – Newt is talking in detail about his penis surgery. No, thanks. I think I’m good.