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What Is the Best Castlevania? – 20th Anniversary of Angry Video Game Nerd – Cinemassacre
James Rolfe, who has autism and is obsessed with numbers, chooses THIS to “celebrate” the 20th anniversary of “the nerd”? Some boring as fuck, “What’s the best Castlevania?”
0:15 – “But first, a word from our sponsor.”
That’s all that this is about. Getting these fucking sponsorships out.
James is dressed as a bald vampire, by the way.
2:15 – “I became somebody who you now know as the fucking Nerd.”
I HATE when he refers to himself as “the Nerd”. It’s the second time in this fucking video that he’s said this. Does anybody actually call him that? Not “AVGN”?
He says that’s not going to appear in this video because he didn’t appear in his first video. Or, much more likely, he’s doing this because he’s lazy as fuck and just threw this video together last minute.
3:15 – “Spiteful fart cloud of frustration”. And a disgusting CGI graphic of a fart cloud appears along with the accompanying sound effect.
Even after 20 years, this guy has NO IDEA why people watch his videos. I’ll give you a hint, Jimmy: it’s not the disgusting scat fetish references.
4:15 – He says that he’s already said what the best Castlevania game is in his Castlevania IV video. So what, pray tell, is the fucking point of this?
7:30 – James says that he beat some Playstation Castlevania game in three hours on “easy” mode. God. This guy is all about not spending time on anything and playing games on “easy” mode. Erin, a complete fraud, does the same exact shit.
Why even pretend that you’re interested in this shit? Why do it at all? Why force to play video games? Just get that faggot Sean to play the games, you read the script, and that’s that.
And he keeps just saying that Castlevania IV is the best game. Because you can whip in eight directions. That’s his only criteria.
Mike Matei recently made a tweet or something where he said that Castlevania IV is the easiest Castlevania game because you can whip in eight directions. That’s clearly where this video came from. Mike was already writing the script for this episode when he tweeted that.
Oh god. I’m only halfway throught this shit. It’s 25 minutes long. I’m bored as fuck. We get it, James. You just want a game where you can whip in all directions. And can be beat in under three hours on easy mode.
14:00 – For the 100th time in this video, he says that whatever game he’s playing (Rondo of Blood, I think) isn’t better than Castlevania IV BECAUSE YOU CAN’T WHIP IN EVERY DIRECTION.
Can somebody just sit this moron down and explain to him that it was a gameplay choice because otherwise the game becomes too easy? I’m sick of fucking hearing this. Twenty five fucking minutes of James Rolfe complaining that you can’t whip in all directions?
18:00 – “It still bugs me that they never brought back the eight directional whipping.”
WE KNOW!!! This is unfuckingbelievable. He’s talking about yet some other Castlevania game and he can not stop fucking talking about this. It’s his complaint in every fucking game. If a game has eight directional attacking: good. If it doesn’t: bad.
This was the big 20th anniversary video. James Rolfe’s autistic fixation on eight directional attacking.
21:15 – He’s talking about why Castlevania IV is his favourite. “Why is the eight directional whipping so important?”
BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING RETARD WHO CAN’T GET PAST THIS.
22:15 – “If it wasn’t for Simon’s Quest, you might not have known about me and I might not have known about you.”
What the fuck does he know about his audience? He doesn’t engage AT ALL with the people who go to his channel. He doesn’t respond to a single comment. His Twitter is run by Justin Silverman. He’s certainly not interacting with those homos on Reddit.
Is he reading the blog? I dare say that he is. Like half of the hits that I get are from Pennsylvania. And a blog is James Rolfe’s idea of the internet. Every time a new Cinemassacre video comes out, he’s eagerly checking the blog. “What did he think of THIS episode? Aww…dang.”
23:00 – Then it ends with a montage of James Rolfe’s receding hairline. It’s in black and white with maudlin copyright-free music playing throughout.
Let’s see what the homos on Reddit had to say.
They seem to mostly be complaining that he doesn’t appear on screen (making it more difficult to jerk off) and that this is recycling Mike’s work. Does nobody mention his obsession with the eight directional attack? That was the whole fucking video. Maybe they haven’t watched it yet. I’m writing this shortly after the video was released.
Anyway, another awful video from Screenwave, Inc. If anyone at Screenwave knew how to make an interesting video, why wouldn’t they be doing it themselves? It’s not like it’s difficult to get on Youtube. So you get these guys have absolutely no talent for this shit.
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Ghost Doctor LIVE Q&A Podcast – Irate Gamer
So we’ve got Chris BORES doing his ghost hunting scam.
God. How stupid does anyone have to be to fall for a GHOST HUNTING scam? What is the level of education and mental health care in the US like that people are falling for GHOST HUNTING scams?
I was doing some looking at business that are open in my hometown. There’s some sort of a psychic. She took over a shop that had recently closed. People are leaving Google reviews of this psychic.
What fucking year is this? How fucking stupid do you have to be to give your money to a psychic? It’s sub-retard.
1:00 – So speaking of sub-retards, Chris BORES thinks that ghosts haunt his computer and didn’t want him to do this livestream. He shows his laptop with the blue screen of death.
Just take the fucking thing to a computer shop. Tell them that ghosts haunt your computer and you’d like to get it working again. They’ll do a clean install of Windows and you’ll be off to the races. Nothing to do with ghosts.
Also, he has a fucking Hewlett Packard. What a piece of shit. How much did he pay for that? A hundred bucks?
1:45 – “I had to really bless my house last night to make sure I got a good night sleep.”
This guy is married. Apparently. From what I can piece together, he married a woman who has at least one child. This guy really needs a professional to come and see him and make sure that he’s not a danger to himself or anyone else.
I mean, it’s a delicate issue, I guess. People believe in all kinds of crazy shit. Are you going to lock up every religious person? Every UFO nut? Everyone who believes in Bigfoot? Fucking retard James Rolfe and his Loch Ness Monster obsession?
I went to that Loch Ness not long ago. Maybe a year or two ago. I went with my girlfriend. There’s just some ruined castle near to the water that you can wander around in. It was rainy as fuck when we went. I think there’s a boat tour that you can also take.
Everybody there was an American. It’s a tourist thing, obviously, but fucking embarrassing. They’re doing the old, “We can’t understand what you’re saying because you’re Scottish!” thing. Nobody finds that cute. You think that they’d be used to it, frankly, but no, Scottish people find it offensive. And rightly. It’s true that they can be difficult to understand but if you just shut the fuck up and listen to what they’re saying, you’ll quickly figure out what they’re saying. It’s not that challenging. They’re speaking English.
We had to take a taxi to this castle from the nearest town. It was a 30 or 45 minute drive. And the driver is talking about the Loch Ness Monster, how it’s theorised that it was just a pod of dolphins or something. And my girlfriend, who must not have been listening very carefully, excitedly said, “So there’s really something in there?” He had to repeat that it was a pod of dolphins. I mean…come on. Can she honestly believe that the Loch Ness Monster is real? Maybe I should get her that book that James was reading from in that podcast.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. People who believe crazy shit like Chris BORES and his ghost mental illness.
2:00 – “When you are tuned into something, like the secrets of the afterlife…like I am, the resistance man, it’s just like…uggggh.”
People with schizophrenia believe that they have superpowers. This is what Chris BORES is suggesting.
And he has a bunch of Buddhist shit in the background. I’m not sure how the Buddhism jives with his staunch Christianity. I don’t think that it does.
2:30 – He advertises his onling ghost hunting service. He can also cure sleep paralysis over the internet because he says that it’s a “dark attack”.
This has to be illegal. Can he advertise that he can cure medical conditions with this fucking blatent quackery?
He’s also describing himself as a “ghost doctor”. This can not possibly be legal. Shut this fucking nutjob down.
There’s his website. He says that his online ghost hunting methods are 100% effective and then goes on to say that they can be performed as often as needed. If they’re 100% effective, why would you need it done more than once? Just get the shit done in the first attempt.
So he has three different packages. For $50 you can get rid of “stage 2” ghosts, which apparently are responsible for things like “shadows” and “touching. I could go for some ghost touching. Find me a sexy lady ghost who isn’t afraid to touch me down there.
For $75, you can get rid of “stage 3” ghosts who are responsible for “voices”, “sleep paralysis” and “bed shaking.” Again, give me some of that big titted, bed shaking ghost action. But yeah, hearing voices is a serious sign of mental illness but retard Chris BORES is pretending that he’s a “doctor” and can “cure” people of this by doing an online ghost hunt.
For $100, you can get rid of “stage 5” ghosts. What if you only have stage 4 ghosts? You’re just fucked. Stage 5 ghosts are responsible for “physical harm”, “thoughts of suicide”, and “objects shattering.” Again, suicidal ideation and self-harm are signs of mental illness but this asshole Chris BORES is preying on the mentally ill with his idiotic online ghost hunting idea.
If he’s not mentally ill himself, he should be deeply ashamed of himself.
Oh, a homo on Reddit helpfully time-stamped everything. Well, I dont’ want to watch this shit so I’ll just take a page from Newt Wallen and plagiarise this guy’s post:
So Chris did a livestream Q&A for his Ghost Doctor channel and it was pretty funny through and through. Chris kept saying all kinds of crazy shit and generally gave off schizo vibes the whole time, he is very adamant through the whole stream that he’s better than every paranormal expert living today “I’ve evolved so much in this field that I can’t learn from anybody anymore”. If you enjoy listening to delusional schizo ramblings with a bunch of cope mixed in then I would recommend giving it a listen but the highlights are listed below.
Highlights: He has his Irate Gamer logo on the screen for the whole stream for some reason
0:47 Chris appears late to the stream and claims “Dark Forces” always try to prevent him from streaming and this was no exception. He believes there are spirits fucking with his computer giving it the “blue screen of death”. He also says he is feeling sick and gives the reasoning “when you are as attuned to something like the secrets of the afterlife as I am the resistance is exerted grunting“
2:35 Chris has opened a new Ghost Doctor website where you can hire the Doctor himself to cleanse your house of evil spirits, demons, and other “dark attacks” like sleep paralysis, remotely. He also once again claims that the “Dark Forces” try to stop the website from going up. He offers a few tiers for his “services”, the silver pack will get rid of shadow men and the gold pack will get rid of suicidal thoughts, because I know if I’m feeling suicidal I’m going to call the fucking Irate Gamer to save me and get charged $100. He also offers a book, a “Ghost Doctor Toolkit” and “Tar Water”. He says once you buy these you can protect yourself from Dark Forces forever https://ghostdoctorchris.com/
8:52 Chris says he was attacked by a cloaked demon with chains in the middle of the night.
21:50 Chris claims that he is so successful and amasses such huge crowds at paranormal conventions that he’s been banned from ever returning to them and that “household names” in the community have stolen his ideas to try to replicate that success. The example he gives is that he says he came up the term “parasitic ghosts” and he’s seen others use that term without crediting him. He refuses to name anyone specifically. He goes into this subject again at 37:07 and he desperately insists that he knows what he’s talking about and that these people are going to suffer in the afterlife.
24:40 Chris claims he has a new groundbreaking device that he doesn’t even want to elude to because it’s so crazy and he can’t risk it getting out.
25:25 Chris says he talks to schizophrenics and tells them the voices they hear in their heads actually are demons.
26:43 Chris says that he’s been told by other big names in the paranormal community “we don’t want you here” (lol) He then goes on to explain that “once the genie is out of the bottle” that the “shit will hit the fan” and it will affect everyone, he references the situation he went through with AVGN and Youtube in the past and says this will be much bigger. And apparently according to Chris he’s been warned by spirits to watch his back because things are going to come for him.
29:12 Chris tries to get viewers to send him money so he’ll answer their questions.
31:00 Chris says that demons embed demonic incantations into chart topping pop songs and the most popular Youtube videos (probably the most sane thing in the stream to be honest)
32:10 Chris claims he witnessed a satanic afterparty at E3 and once again claims that Youtube fucked his channel in 2012 because he didn’t fall in line (he doesn’t specify what he means by this, I guess he means YT wanted him to worship Satan or something?) and warns popular Youtubers to watch their backs. He says Microsoft is the worst offender for these practices.
36:17 Chris gets distracted by his daughter wandering into his room and then goes on a rant about how spirits commonly try to attack his family and children and it pisses him off. He calls these ghosts low lives which I find hilarious.
47:30 Chris says he is visited all the time by spirits through the night who killed themselves begging for his prayers.
48:37 Chris says he doesn’t care he has haters because they are going to be coming to him for help when they die and he will still not turn them down. What a nice guy.
51:58 Again, Chris desperately insists that he knows what he’s talking about.
53:08 Chris says he can’t talk about astral spiders because he’s worried that other people will “steal his knowledge”. What a nice guy. He later goes on to talk about them anyway and later says he believes that the tv show Stranger Things was “divinely inspired” because their interpretation of astral spiders was spot on. So essentially Chris watched Stranger Things and learned about astral spiders and then claims that if anyone else talks about them anywhere then they are obviously stealing it from Chris. What a hack lmao
1:00:18 Chris says the only other famous ghost hunter he likes is Zak Bagans (of course he is) but he is worried about him because he says Zak keeps getting darker and darker and he’s going to pay for that.
Chris then ends the stream saying that he plans on doing these weekly from now on because “some crazy shit’s gonna go down” and he wants to be on stream to talk about it.
There’s a lot of disturbing stuff here. He says that he speaks to people with schizophrenia (which he BADLY mispronounces) and tells them that voices they hear are ghosts.
Then at 36:00 his “little girl” comes into this creepy as fuck room to ask him something. Chris BORES then says that ghosts are coming after his children and says “the trials and tribulations of being a father.” I’m pretty sure that this is his step-daughter. God. This guy should not be anywhere near children. He’s mentally ill. What is wrong with that girl’s mother that she find CHRIS BORES to be a suitable partner?
And the retards in the chat are asking questions like they actually believe what he’s saying. Shit about ghosts and whatnot. “What do I do if a ghost kills me?” That’s an actual question.
Hopefully this guy gets the help he needs before he impacts any other mentally ill person’s life.
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The Story of The Oregon Trail – Gaming Historian
Well, I watched it. I watched all 86 minutes and 21 seconds.
It was mostly an interview of two (or three?) guys who wrote the original game. Not the game on the Apple II but the game that was on mainframe computers in the 1970s.
It was interesting enough. I mean, I watched it. It took a couple of days but I watched it.
But I couldn’t understand how these guys didn’t end up getting paid anything? Near the end, they explain that it was the 1970s, there wasn’t a market for video games, people didn’t have computers, it was just these mainframe computers. Fine. I get that. But at the point that this MECC company, which I believe that they worked for, was producing the game for the Apple II, why didn’t they get money then? How was MECC able to get the rights to the game?
Anyway, I enjoyed the game in my youth. I played it in, whatever, the sixth grade. There was a contest to see who could get the farthest. We played in groups of two or three, one at a time, and I think it was just for like 15 minutes or something. But we never even played the fucking game before. We didn’t know what to do. We didn’t know that you basically have to spend all of your money at the start.
Then I played it again in probably the 11th grade. We still had fucking Apple IIs in 1995. There were more modern computers that they were getting, but for this “business typing” or whatever class that I was in, they put all of the old Apple IIs in there. These “business” classes were for morons, which is why I took them. They were easy as fuck.
So I’d travel the trail. There wasn’t much else to do.
Then I played it whenever I got the internet. 1999 or whatever. Pirate version. I played some of the sequels. I think Oregon Trail Deluxe is the one that I played the most. They got REALLY bad after that. Fucking full motion video. But I liked the different professions that you could be. It wasn’t just, “The banker has more money and the farmer has less money” like in the first game. The different professions gave different bonuses and disadvantages, if I recall correctly.
I also played Organ Trail a few times. That’s a zombie thing.
A lot of people liked the hunting, in the original game, of course, but that’s my least favourite part. I try to get enough food so that I don’t have to hunt. You always have to go with the 2000 pound limit but that only works if you’re a banker, or possibly the carpenter. The farmer can’t afford that much.
According to Wikipedia, some American Indians complain about the game. Even though American Indians only feature as positive characters who help the settlers.
In this Gaming Historian video, the guys who made the game say that Indians complained about their early version because it featured Indian attacks. So they took the Indian attacks out.
I get that it was an invasion and a genocide but protesting Oregon Trail? I’d probably do the same thing. You’re living on a reservation. Half the people are drunk. There aren’t any jobs. Your ancestors have been brutalised for centuries. Stick it to the man, even if the man is Oregon Trail.
You look at their protests against the names of sports teams. Burn all of that bullshit down. Fuck baseball. Fuck football. Fuck all of this homoerotic bullshit. Millionaire players and billionaire Jew owners.
I saw that they changed the name of Eskimo Pies. Good for them. Fuck ice cream too.
I used to enjoy Eskimo Pies, though. I haven’t had one in probably 25 years. I’ll probably never have one again. You never know when the last time you’re going to do something is.
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Horseface’s Fansly is Back – Crystal Quin
https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1782128659752534040
I didn’t even know that it was gone. But somebody in the comments says, “Lol, she’s single again”.
Who would pay for this knowing that she takes the site down when she gets a boyfriend?
And I’m looking at the posts….she’s posting shit consistently. When did she take a break? She couldn’t have taken it down for more than a few days.
In February, she did a lot of videos called “Showering in my boyfriend’s when he’s not home.” What, are we fucking retarded? Oh. I suppose that that is her audience. But I’m not retarded. So don’t give me these porno bullshit stories.
And she’s not even nude in any of this shit. Not that anybody would want that but…well, somebody in the comments sums this up. “Ain’t nobody paying for lewds in this economy dawg.”
The guy who wrote that, “she’s single again” has some absolutely vile stuff on his Twitter. These are the people who are interested in Crystal Quin’s shitty porno? That guy has loads of pictures of women with hairy pussies. That’s the tame stuff that he has but he has LOADS of this shit.
He has to be in his mid to late 50s at least. Who younger than that has a hairy pussy fetish? It’s only if you watched porn from the 1970s or earlier that you’d be interested in that.
I have a million dollar idea. Did I ever mention this here before? I’m not seeing it.
But the porn from the 1970s is great. It has high production values, big budgets, whatever. What puts people off is the hairy pussies.
So I’d like to see digital re-masters where they get rid of the hair. It doesn’t have to be entirely. You can give them a landing strip or something. Maybe just clean it up a little. But make it more palatable to today’s audience.
I even have a pun title for this procedure can be called ala Newt “No Ideas” Wallen. “Digital re-masturbation.”
There’s money to be made in this. Just get the rights to the videos and then digitally alter all of that. Like Star Wars or whatever. But good.
https://twitter.com/SUPERFLYJohnny1
There’s another guy who left a message. “Nice Guy Andy”. He’s 34, from Kentucky, obese, bearded, and he likes sexy lady wrestlers and Star Wars.
Here’s somebody else who replied:
https://twitter.com/valeriegothic54
Ladyboy. He has a Pornhub page and a Fansly.
https://twitter.com/DeVon_FNMfan2K8
Here’s another one. Absolutely obese black man who likes sexy wrestlers and Sponge Square Pants. Honestly, I saw three separate Sponge Bob posts just posted recently.
https://twitter.com/TheDarkSayings
And this guy is obsessed with UFOs and ghosts.
It’s the absolute dregs of society who go to these women’s pages. This is who you want jerking off to your shitty pictures? These are the people who you want to interract with for pennies?
Not that she puts much effort into her interactions. Everything is one word. Crazy UFO guy asks her if she likes UFOs. Horseface says, “Absolutely.” Good stuff, Horseface. Really interesting.
Oh, and of course Newt. Newt is jerking off to Horseface’s awful pictures. Speaking of dregs of society.
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Newt Still Talking About “The Redhead”
1:15 – He shows a Funcopop that Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee aka “The Redhead” gave him. He just had it nearby. Within arm’s reach. He probably rubs it on his penis while Joe from Gamesack watches.
These people are humouring Newt’s delusions that he’s a film maker. Asking him to write scripts about various shit.
11:30 – Katie Cook says, “it’s nice to hear people talk about fun things like halloween 5, and shark excorsists. I lost a special dog friend today. so thanks for coming on and comforting me guys!”
Newt replies, “Oh, man. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you lost somebody today, man. I know very much what that’s like so I commiserate with you.”
Now, I’m not actually watching. I’m doing other things. So at first, I assumed that this person was talking about somebody they know who died. You know…a HUMAN BEING. So I thought, “What an asshole that Newt immediately brings this back to himself and all of the dead chicks that he fucked up the ass.”
This ladyboy is talking about his fucking dog. Who the fuck cares? “Gee, guys! Thanks for cheering me up with your Shark Vampire talk! I had to put my doggie down today.”
First of all, there’s no way that it’s a woman. Even Newt repeatedly refers to him as a man. Secondly, fuck you.
12:30 – Newt says that he was offered two jobs this week so he’s going to leave some job that he’s doing now.
15:30 – Newt says that people called his new job and blames Reddit. That’s almost certainly the case.
16:15 – Newt says that he met up with a “friend” to give her her stuff back. Uh huh. More buttsex with prostitutes? Tell us all about it, Newt. We’re jerking off here.
32:15 – Somebody is knocking on Newt’s door so he gets up to answer it. Who can it be? This is a real cliffhanger. Some faggot from Reddit? An angry prostitute?
36:45 – Newt returns. He says that across the street from him is a tattoo shop and a “pot shop”. He must really live in an upscale neighbourhood.
It was the police at the door asking for Newt’s door camera footage because somebody backed their car into the deli across the street.
But yeah, I make it a hard rule never to live above a shop. Those places are cheaper but they’re shit. It’s noisy, they’re infested. They’re especially infestested if you’re above a restaurant but any type of shop seems to invite infestation.
You can find a place as cheap if you just move further out or find a less desirable area.
40:45 – Newt says that Dark Knight Rises is his least favourite Batman movie, it’s being re-released, and he won’t be seeing it. It’s a reference to Tony from Hack the Movies aka The Italian being in some crowd scene.
Newt…YOU did the plagiarising. Nobody else. You’re also the one who said whatever heinous shit you said to get Tony and Horseface and Kieran and everybody at Screenwave to shun you. Take responsibility.
I mean, what did Tony do? “Tony should have taken my plagiarism and insulting comments with grace.” Fuck you, Newt.
I’m stopping this at 42:00. It’s boring.
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Is Superheroic aka Gorgon a Woman?
I was attempting to watch episode 27 of the Point & Drink podcast when I quickly gave up. So I was reading the comments.
- “That “So many girls watching” comment got me wondering what is the demographic for this show. I like it but I also watch because I view both of your video game shows and streams.”
Pam replies, “97% male based on youtube analytics”
Then somebody called Superheroic aka Gorgon replies, “nice to be one of the 3 percenters!”
I was sceptical. How many women advertise that they’re women? Very few, if any.
So I went to this individual’s channel.
https://www.youtube.com/@superhetoric
The avatar is a mouth, possibly a woman’s mouth, with black teeth. Weird. Not something that a woman would tend to use for her avatar. More the sort of thing that a mentally disturbed man would have.
He has a few videos. Oh, I already gave it away. It’s a dude. So this guy has a few videos and they’re all from 8 to 12 years ago.
There’s some weird video game footage that I assume he captured.
There’s some old footage of goths dancing that I really doubt he had involvement with. It’s just old jerk off material for him.
Some KFC parody, I guess. I didn’t watch it. Women tend not to be interested in KFC parody videos.
Drag queen. Now we’re getting somewhere. It’s a dude.
Some weird “comedy” video of Tonya Harding. Again, not something that women are interested in. I don’t even need to explain why. We all know. We all know that these videos are the videos that a man would be interested. A mentally ill man but a man nonetheless. A mentally ill woman would not be interested in this shit.
Some anime nerd shit with a Melt Banana song playing. At least it sounds like Melt Banana.
Oh, it’s a band called Baby Metal.
https://new.reddit.com/r/BABYMETAL
“Once you’ve heard it, you’ll never unhear it. BABYMETAL is a band that you’ll either love or hate.”
No. It’s been done. It’s been done a billion times. There’s a whole genre. There’s nothing innovative that shit. They’re just jumping on the “ironic” Japanese noise scene that was popular 20 years ago.
Then he has the entire debut album of Lisa Whelchel. You know, Blair from The Facts of Life. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have, a man in a dress.
Judging from his interests, I’m thinking that this guy has to be in his 50s. He’s a ladyboy. He’s clearly mentally ill.
It’s preposterous to claim that you’re a woman when you’re clearly a man in a dress. I don’t mean just physically you have male anatomy, mentally, these people think like dudes. Look at their fucking interests. Here’s a guy who’s interested in retro video games. By Pam’s own statistics, 97% of the people who go to her channel are guys.
If this guy was a woman, he’d be going to…I don’t know…dance videos on Tiktok. Videos about fashion. Videos about makeup. Videos about how to attract a man. Cute animal videos.
And the vast majority of these ladyboys are interested in women. They’re not putting a dress on and hoping to get fucked by a dude. They’re looking for women. They pretend that they’re “lesbians”.
I was watching Big Brother years ago and they had some ladyboy on there. And he’s talking to the women and the women are talking about recipes and whatever. And then he gets up and says, “I can’t listen to this shit” and he goes over and talks to the guys, who were talking about politics.
This is a woman? Women like talking about recipes.
Just say that you’re a man in a dress. What’s so bad about that? I don’t think that anybody cares about that. The issue comes in when you try to claim something that’s plainly untrue.
Superhetoric is not a woman. Women are not interested in superheroes. They’re not interested in comic books. Fuck off.
“Oh, I know a woman who likes comic books.”
I’m talking about the average woman. The average woman is not interested in male dominated bullshit comic books, video games, science fiction, whatever.
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FALL GUY Review – Newt Wallen
He starts by talking about what a big Fall Guy fan his uncle is.
I can see that. I don’t remember Fall Guy AT ALL. Nobody was watching that shit. But I was only watching shitty kids shows in the 80s. There was nobody watching shows for adults.
It was on from 1981 to 1986. Wasn’t Newt born in like 1982? Is he going to pull a Mike Matei and pretend to remember stuff when he was four years old?
1:00 – Newt says that the director was a stuntman and the movie is a “love letter to stuntmen.”
Newt should make a movie that’s a love letter to plagiarists. Who are some of the great plagiarists of all time? People always cite Martin Luther King Jr. But then you have people who say that it was just common to plagiarise stuff in those days. Could that be right? In the 1960s? Because by the 1980s this was certainly frowned upon.
Hey, there’s actually a website for plagiarists.
https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2015/02/10/5-great-people-who-plagiarized
Top of the list, Martin Luther King Jr. Yeah.
https://www.plagiarismtoday.com/2012/08/21/5-famous-plagiarists-where-are-they-now
Here’s another good one. Oh yeah. Jayson Blair. At least as of 2016, he’s working as a life coach. I’d like more up-to-date information.
Back to Newt.
What the hell am I watching this for? Brian Gosling. What the fuck do I care?
So I’ve been looking for work for like nine months. Nothing. Not a single interview. And I was looking for jobs in my field. I replied to probably 100 job ads. I sent another 10 people who I know my resume cold. Nothing.
So I said fuck it. I’m going to broaden my search and look for jobs outside of my field.
I started three days ago. I replied to five ads and I already have two interviews. The jobs pay more than the jobs I was looking at and they’re easier. What the fuck was I doing? I was wasting all of my fucking time with that shit sending resumes to scumbags who don’t appreciate my skills and experience.
I can’t wait to tell these people that I’m fucking done with this shit. Fuck them. And fuck all the indignities that I’ve had to suffer with this job.
And if I can get a job with this organisation that I have the interview with, it would be a proper job. No more self-employed bullshit where I have to constantly chase up payments and threaten people with lawsuits. I just go in, do the fucking work, and they pay me. There’s a company pension. There’s career progression. I can move elsewhere. And it’s more than I’m making now.
So even if I don’t get these two jobs, I’m pretty confident that I’ll get something soon.
You look at The Ideas Man and he always seems to be able to find work quickly. That’s how I remember the US being. If you’re willing to do anything, you’ll find a job.
I remember applying to some security guard job and they told me to come in to fill in some paperwork. There was no interview, it was just, “You want the job? You’re hired.” But the place was like an hour away so I asked what the pay is. They said like $5.50. I said, “What? I can’t live on that.” I made $8.50/hour working as a security guard a few months earlier. So they just said, “Oh.” I let the expletives fly. Fuck you. Wasting my fucking time with this shit.
There was another time when I was working as a substitute teacher. No interview there either. I don’t even think that there was a police background check. I just contacted them, they asked me to come in, I filled in some form, and they put me on the schedule. No training. No instructions whatsoever. Just tomorrow morning, go to the school and whatever happens, happens. $75/day.
I also delivered pizzas. No interview there either. I just gave them my resume one day and a few months later, they called asking if I was still looking for work. I was. Great. You can start driving for us.
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How Often Does Kris Glavin Say “Smokeshow”?
https://twitter.com/KrisGlavin
Well, I’ve done the research. Not as often as you might think.
April 25 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
April 24 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady keep up the great work on fear freaks des”
April 15 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady hope you had a good weekend”
April 13 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
April 11 – “Smokeshow”
April 8 – “Absolute smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
March 30 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
March 28 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
March 25 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
March 14 – “Total smokeshow”
March 7 – “”mokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
March 5 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
February 22 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
February 16 – “Smokeshow stunningly gorgeous young lady”
February 8 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
January 21 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
January 20 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
January 19 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
January 16 – “Smokeshow”
January 16 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady super model vibes baby”
January 15 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
January 7 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”
You get the idea. There are all of his “smokeshows” this year. He gets VERY repetitive sometimes with “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady” just spammed. But let’s go through his “smokeshows” for the past 12 months so we can get a full picture.
- April – 6
- March – 6
- February – 3
- January – 7
- December – 21
- November – 14
- October – 0
- September – 0
- August – 0
- July – 3
- June – 18
- May – 18
What happened between August and October? Was he in a mental hospital so couldn’t tweet?
And is he slowing down on the smokeshows? If we exclude that three month break and July (which seems to be a part of this break…his last “smokeshow” was July 4) he was averaging over 17 “smokeshows” a month. For this year, he’s only averaging 5.5 “smokeshows”.
Does he not find these women to be smokeshows any more? And has he not found any new smokeshows?
It’s not just Horseface who he does this to, it’s also Mint Salad and some sluts who have some vague connection to the horror genre. He really likes these twins who allegedly write horror books….or something…together.
But interesting, he’s also calling local newscasters “smokeshows”. It’s quaint. People are still apparently attracted to local news broadcasters. I wasn’t even aware that people still watch local news.
I can recall some smokeshow news broadcasters from my youth. I can’t find any information about them now, though. Maybe being a smokeshow wasn’t enough. Maybe you needed to have some journalistic ability to make it in this business.
Oh, he also finds Katy Perry to be a smokeshow. Well, we can all agree with that.
What the fuck? He also finds this random Gilf to be a smokeshow.
https://twitter.com/angiebulkeley
She lives in Boston. Kris Glavin also lives in Boston or somewhere in Massachusetts, I think. He’s presumably trying to get a date with this woman. Who is she? Maybe it’s his mother. “Smokeshow, mom. Sex later?”
This woman gets a fair number of replies. She must be doing something. She writes a lot about horror movies. “Former comedy press/press photog. Horror/Ska/The Clash junkie. Used to interview famous people.”
That’s enough? That’s enough to get people to post on your banal messages? That’s enough for Kris Glavin to want to have sex with you?
And come on. Kris Glavin called THAT woman “young lady”? I can let “smokeshow” go. People have different tastes. But that woman is objectively not young.
Probably about a quarter of his “smokeshow” comments are directed to Crystal Quin aka Horseface.
https://twitter.com/KrisGlavin/status/1740005970514706860
There’s the news woman who Kris Glavin says is a smokeshow. Yeah, I guess that she’s a smokeshow. is she a legitimate meteorologist? It says that she is. Massive tits.
You know, there was a movement away from hot “weather girls” and toward legitimate meteorologists probably in the 1970s, maybe in the 1980s. People wanted to do away with the sexism. Let’s get qualified people to do the broadcasts.
But now they’re just finding actual meteorologists with big tits. And there’s no secret what this woman’s function is. She knows what it is. She knows that she’s not there to give you the dew point. Every fucking video is her in a tight dress doing the same pose and shaking her giant tits in front a green screen.
So nothing has been solved with this. It’s as sexist as it ever was. Can’t we get some grizzled old bag to tell us about the weather? Why does it have to be a young smokeshow of a lady with tits the size of her head?
My girlfriend was telling me about a co-worker of hers who was talking about a news broadcaster who he finds sexy. So I said, “Was he talking about Carol Kirkwood?” And she said, “How did you know?”
Because it’s well-known. She’s been the weather person on the BBC news for as long as I’ve been here. And the only reason she’s still doing it is because she has giant fucking tits. She must be in her 60s now and she’s still out there shaking her geriatric milkers.
We all know what this is about. Just read the comments.
- “Nothing better than a mature ride with a great top end. Classic cars are good too.”
- “I love Carol, a real juggernaut of meteorology.”
- “I can see 2 massive weather fronts coming in !!”
- “I never knew there were mountains west of Ireland. I’ll have to check my geography map again.”
- “I love being kept abreast of the latest weather in England.”
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PVC Bondage Guy’s Pathetic Porn “Career”
1:41:00 – “When I went to start making porn, when I went to do like hang girl stuff…”
Do I even want to look this up? Eugh. I guess that I have a journalistic obligation.
Nothing immediately comes up. I’m not even sure if that’s what she said. I’m moving on.
But this discussion came about because some horntard said that she’s wearing a Suicide Girls t-shirt. What is this? 1999? This site can not possibly still exist.
It does and it started in 2001. I knew some fat goth chick from a band’s website who was going to do that but I don’t know if she ever did. This must have been around 2001. It was all the rage then. But in 2024? No fucking way.
“I signed up for a website called MyFreeCams.”
Yeah. I’m familiar. A bunch of women from impoverished countries go there and even they aren’t making enough money to live on. Go on.
She says that she streamed “a few times.”
Then she looked into doing “modeling” for Suicide Girls.
She didn’t end up submitting the “portfolio” and paperwork. She says that now she has more “body mods” so presumably, she thinks that she has a better chance of getting accepted now.
First of all, I’m sure that they accept absolutely everbody. Secondly, YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT. What part of this is she not getting? Who’s the person who wants to see PVC Bondage Guy naked. It’s madness. This is a hot chick? I will never go to Pennsylvania if these are the hot chicks there. Fucking PVC Bondage Guy, Horseface, 300 Pound Johanna. Come on.
1:43:00 – She got two free passes to something called Blackheart Burlesque. I guess. I had to listen to this about five time. Take some elocution lessons, PVC Bondage Guy. I’m really struggling with this story. But it’s apparently something to do with Suicide Girls. She got the free passes because she was on MyFreeCams.
Newt, constantly thinking about himself, is upset that she didn’t take him. She says that she was dating somebody at the time.
“Both times I went, they did this amateur stripper contest at the end.”
Eugh. Please do not finish this story.
She won both times.
Stop right here. PVC Bondage Guy won a stripping contest. What could the other women POSSIBLY have looked like that fucking PVC Bondage Guy won?
She won a tank top for her efforts. Oh, how fucking sad is this? Stripping for a TANK TOP.
Then Newt starts talking about himself, of course. A “comedy” story about how he was in a wet t-shirt contest. Uh huh. Great. Let’s focus on your crazy friend here and her story.
So anyway, that’s the story. It went nowhere. It could have gone somewhere if Newt wasn’t so fucking self-obsessed and could even PRETEND to take an interest in other people.
I’ll tell you how PVC Bondage Guy might be able to make some money on MyFreeCams. The business model is that you pay the woman to take her clothes off and masturbate and shove vegetables up her ass and whatnot. That’s fine and good.
But PVC Bondage Guy can turn that business model on its head. She starts off naked and with a cucumber up her ass and then people say, “Oh, god. I don’t want to see this. I’ll give you $20 if you put your clothes back on.”
She could come up with a whole menu of stuff she’ll do for money. She’ll take her “meds” for $10. She’ll refer to herself as a woman for $15. She’ll wash that makeup off for $25. She’ll put a dress on for $50. She’ll go to a job interview for $100.
Instead of paying a woman to debase herself, you’d be paying her to try to get her life together. I think that it could work. There’s a certain thrill in having a positive influence in somebody’s life.
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My First Vintage Pokémon Card Opening! – Retro Ali
0:00 – Retro Ali is with some guy but…we don’t see anyone. All we see is their hands. Because Retro Ali is really self-conscious after gaining 50 pounds.
This is fucking pathetic. Who’s watching this? Who’s watching a fat chick and some random guy opening Pokemon cards? Does she honestly think that this is entertainment?
0:45 – Then we don’t even see them opening the cards but Retro Ali just starts screaming like a fucking chimp. What is going on?
These two buffoons are represented by static drawings in the corner of the screen, by the way.
1:30 – Then there’s vintage footage of a slim Retro Ali screaming for some reason. She just wants to remind you that she wasn’t always 50 pounds overweight. But she doesn’t want to actually eat right and exercise to get back down to that weight. That would require effort.
2:00 – She’s screaming at some more cards. I don’t know why.
3:15 – She starts screaming again.
Guess what, you dumb bitch? I’m done.
There’s a “good” card in every fucking pack. You don’t know this? Why is this so fucking exciting to you?
309 views after three days. No comments. The only comment is hers, “please turn down your volume to watch this video… sorry LMAO”.
No. Nobody wants to watch this utter trash. These fucking “reaction” videos that she tried to make a living off of. Fucking piece of shit JOHN RIGGS actually recommended Retro Ali as one of the best video game channels EVER. No qualifications. He didn’t say, “Best women-run channels.” He just made a video declaring the ten best channels about video games. They all just happened to be women.
What a disingenuous piece of shit. Did he have sex with ANY of those women after he made that video? Let me see if that article is on the blog. It was from years ago.
No. I see references to it in other articles but not the article itself. I don’t even see it in in my personal archive of my Reddit posts from years ago.
Well, it was dumb. And Retro Ali is the worst fucking channel I have ever seen. It’s not enjoyable on any level. And it’s only gotten worse. An anime avatar? Just fucking lose weight, you dumb bitch.
Nobody is watching this trash. Her channel is completely done. What’s with this quarter-assed attempt to revive her channel?
Let’s look at her Twitter. You want to guess what she’s writing about? I’ll guess Pokemon and advertising her Twitch streams.
Yeah. It was exactly that. She could not be interesting to save her miserable life.
“Here’s me with some guy!” Who’s the guy? We don’t know. We just see his hands. We’re supposed to know. We’re supposed to know who “d20zee” is. You guys all know d20zee, right?
He has 26 followers on Twitter. We’re supposed to know this guy. No introduction needed.
Is that him? The non-Asian guy, I mean. The giant fucking nerd next to fatass Retro Ali.
So I assume that this is her boyfriend. Why not just say that? “My boyfriend is here. He’s going to help me look at these Pokemon cards while I scream like a fucking jackass.”
Here’s a video where he’s with fatass Retro Ali. So it must be her boyfriend.
I don’t know. Could Retro Ali do better? She’s dumb as a sack of hammers. She’s annoying. She’s fat. She works at Disney World. She has no redeeming qualities.
So when you put it into perspective, I’m surprised that she managed to find ANYONE.
The question then becomes could that guy do any better? God. It has to be no. A giant fucking nerd talking about RPGs? And I think it’s tabletop RPGs.
No. These are two bottom feeders who are so far down the depths of the ocean that they’ve lost their sense of sight. They’re both lucky to have found ANYBODY.
This is from their joint channel. There’s only one video. This one. It was uploaded six months ago and has 99 views. They’re just reading…I don’t even know…questions submitted by giant nerds about RPGs.
Absolutely unwatchable video. But at least we finally get some insight into Retro Ali’s life. She’s fat and her boyfriend is a giant nerd. Like ENORMOUS. Not in stature but in…whatever.