How Often Does Kris Glavin Say “Smokeshow”?

Well, I’ve done the research. Not as often as you might think.

April 25 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

April 24 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady keep up the great work on fear freaks des”

April 15 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady hope you had a good weekend”

April 13 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

April 11 – “Smokeshow”

April 8 – “Absolute smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

March 30 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

March 28 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

March 25 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

March 14 – “Total smokeshow”

March 7 – “”mokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

March 5 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

February 22 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

February 16 – “Smokeshow stunningly gorgeous young lady”

February 8 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

January 21 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

January 20 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

January 19 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

January 16 – “Smokeshow”

January 16 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady super model vibes baby”

January 15 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

January 7 – “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”

You get the idea. There are all of his “smokeshows” this year. He gets VERY repetitive sometimes with “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady” just spammed. But let’s go through his “smokeshows” for the past 12 months so we can get a full picture.

  • April – 6
  • March – 6
  • February – 3
  • January – 7
  • December – 21
  • November – 14
  • October – 0
  • September – 0
  • August – 0
  • July – 3
  • June – 18
  • May – 18

What happened between August and October? Was he in a mental hospital so couldn’t tweet?

And is he slowing down on the smokeshows? If we exclude that three month break and July (which seems to be a part of this break…his last “smokeshow” was July 4) he was averaging over 17 “smokeshows” a month. For this year, he’s only averaging 5.5 “smokeshows”.

Does he not find these women to be smokeshows any more? And has he not found any new smokeshows?

It’s not just Horseface who he does this to, it’s also Mint Salad and some sluts who have some vague connection to the horror genre. He really likes these twins who allegedly write horror books….or something…together.

But interesting, he’s also calling local newscasters “smokeshows”. It’s quaint. People are still apparently attracted to local news broadcasters. I wasn’t even aware that people still watch local news.

I can recall some smokeshow news broadcasters from my youth. I can’t find any information about them now, though. Maybe being a smokeshow wasn’t enough. Maybe you needed to have some journalistic ability to make it in this business.

Oh, he also finds Katy Perry to be a smokeshow. Well, we can all agree with that.

What the fuck? He also finds this random Gilf to be a smokeshow.

She lives in Boston. Kris Glavin also lives in Boston or somewhere in Massachusetts, I think. He’s presumably trying to get a date with this woman. Who is she? Maybe it’s his mother. “Smokeshow, mom. Sex later?”

This woman gets a fair number of replies. She must be doing something. She writes a lot about horror movies. “Former comedy press/press photog. Horror/Ska/The Clash junkie. Used to interview famous people.”

That’s enough? That’s enough to get people to post on your banal messages? That’s enough for Kris Glavin to want to have sex with you?

And come on. Kris Glavin called THAT woman “young lady”? I can let “smokeshow” go. People have different tastes. But that woman is objectively not young.

Probably about a quarter of his “smokeshow” comments are directed to Crystal Quin aka Horseface.

There’s the news woman who Kris Glavin says is a smokeshow. Yeah, I guess that she’s a smokeshow. is she a legitimate meteorologist? It says that she is. Massive tits.

You know, there was a movement away from hot “weather girls” and toward legitimate meteorologists probably in the 1970s, maybe in the 1980s. People wanted to do away with the sexism. Let’s get qualified people to do the broadcasts.

But now they’re just finding actual meteorologists with big tits. And there’s no secret what this woman’s function is. She knows what it is. She knows that she’s not there to give you the dew point. Every fucking video is her in a tight dress doing the same pose and shaking her giant tits in front a green screen.

So nothing has been solved with this. It’s as sexist as it ever was. Can’t we get some grizzled old bag to tell us about the weather? Why does it have to be a young smokeshow of a lady with tits the size of her head?

My girlfriend was telling me about a co-worker of hers who was talking about a news broadcaster who he finds sexy. So I said, “Was he talking about Carol Kirkwood?” And she said, “How did you know?”

Because it’s well-known. She’s been the weather person on the BBC news for as long as I’ve been here. And the only reason she’s still doing it is because she has giant fucking tits. She must be in her 60s now and she’s still out there shaking her geriatric milkers.

We all know what this is about. Just read the comments.

  • “Nothing better than a mature ride with a great top end. Classic cars are good too.”
  • “I love Carol, a real juggernaut of meteorology.”
  • “I can see 2 massive weather fronts coming in !!”
  • “I never knew there were mountains west of Ireland. I’ll have to check my geography map again.”
  • “I love being kept abreast of the latest weather in England.”

7 thoughts on “How Often Does Kris Glavin Say “Smokeshow”?

  1. I read the last name of the gilf who used to interview famous people as “fissure” I guess whatever’s written there is not her last name. She just says “it’s pronounced like…”

    I’m sure you remember the naked news. Some online thing where chicks read real news headlines and would strip. Yeah mass shooting today and she takes her bra off. I can see why it didn’t last.

    1. I’m pretty sure that Naked News is still around. I downloaded an archive of their videos from like five years ago. They didn’t do hard hitting news. Also, it’s based in Canada, where laws on public nudity are more lax. It would be some sex story and the woman would strip. Or they’d be out on location somewhere and the woman is topless and possibly the people they’re interviewing are also topless.

      Some really unattractive women. And surprisingly old. I suspect that that stuff is for lesbians.

  2. I went back to the painfully boring Bimmy autobiography. That part where the baby is puking shit is atrocious. All births are messy doesn’t he know this? of course not, he’s a retard. The part right after that explained the baby’s condition feels like someone else wrote it, maybe his wife. It’s actually serious and full of hard-ass medical terminology that only parents would know, so she must have written that. Maybe dictated to him. But if that’s so, why the fuck didn’t she proofread this mess of fuck and say, god damn it Bimmy, this is not going in there.

    Other takeaways… the movie was supposed to be 2 and a half hours!? Fuck~! And there are true fans, hardcore fans who tap out on it. People who would literally suck his dick and figuratively do so online they can’t watch his “magnum opus” once. The run time was cut down to 1:55 and it seems like its just because he gave up on a bunch of scenes of had no idea how to do them. The part about the raised ceiling or whatever the fuck made me cry! I was seriously suckered in and I didn’t see it coming. It’s the last scene, the last work of the movie (except editing it I guess!!) at 3 am., the 2 month year old was asleep and it required some Rube Goldberg engineering feat. The smoke alarm goes off and the fire department comes, they insist to check his house for safety. He is scared shitless like they are the police. They aren’t. a fireman could never arrest someone, retard! But all is well because the fireman saw Bimmy’s Atari 2600 games and said he liked them and so now Bimmy is the fucking hero of the day. I fucking laughed until I pissed myself at this level of grade A retarded horse shit! Is he fucking on drugs? There is no way this actually happened!

    He goes back to his baby healing up, which I cant make fun of. it’s a good thing. but then he does this weird “it’s all in the past” thing again. Like, yeah um my baby had problems for the first year and now um yeah she had her birthday yesterday and is a one year and one day-year old and is all better now, so all that stuff before is like 100 years ago now. Its bizarre.

    You said you did not finish the movie? I can understand but I actually did, I don’t mind sitting through shit sometimes and if you can watch Metz talk about being fucked by a bunch of people for 4 hours, then you must have REALLY fucking hated the movie. But for me the part that makes me say “what the fuck is this piece of shit?” is when Darth mouthezicks (??) gets zapped by EEETEE or whatever (I forget) and he just puts on a pair of Groucho Marx glasses and flies away. seriously what the fuck is this piece of shit?

    1. Oh yeah I forgot to add that people credit Justin as the one who introduced Bimmy to April but from the book it seems like Bimmy was crying like a lonely fuck, begging Justin “what do I do?” And he just said ” go online to find girls” just to make him shut up about it. Because after that advice he magically meets April. she never knew Justin I guess.

    2. I didn’t watch PVC Bondage Guy talking with Newt for four hours. I just randomly clicked through the video and found that section. Probably half the video is them talking about porn, though.

      I’ve NEVER heard anyone suggest that Justin set April and James up, by the way. James didn’t know Justin in college, surely. Justin is like five or ten years younger than James.

  3. It was Kyle Justin (full name: Kyle Justin Rogers) who set them up (or advised James to do online dating. I can’t remember)

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