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Trying Out Godzilla Themed Hot Sauces- Castzilla VS The Pod Monster – Tony from Hack the Movies
Are they ripping off The Ideas Man? Because Newt started doing food reviews of late. Not that food reviews were invented by Newt but the timing is suspicious. And this is how they’re bringing the Godzilla podcast back? By doing a food review?
Well, I know it’s going to be awful but let’s check it out.
0:00 – He promises that there will be more of these “little” videos to build up to the relaunch of the podcast. This video is 20 minutes long. A 20 minute hot sauce review. From two people who have never reviewed food before, as far as I’m aware. And Johanna couldn’t be entertaining to save her life.
0:30 – Tony says that this idea is based on…Hot Ones? I guess it’s some Youtube channel. Oh. First We Feast. I think that I watched one of these videos before. Briefly.
But then Tony says that they’re not going to ask each other questions, they’re just going to talk about the hot sauce. So…I don’t even…let’s just get through this.
1:45 – Johanna says that this first hot sauce is “super cute.”
Okay. I don’t know if I can do twenty minutes of this.
So anyway, they put this sauce on some chicken and then Tony says that you can really taste the lime. It’s a lime sauce. Johanna says that it’s “very limey.” And then they both reach the conclusion that this sauce is okay.
At first, I thought that they were going to pour the sauce into a shot glass and drink it. That might be a better idea. I appreciate that it would be unconventional but the chicken obviously is going to affect the flavour of the sauce. If they just drink it straight, you get a more honest appraisal. Although, they would still just say, “It’s okay, I guess.”
3:30 – They can’t open the next bottle. This goes on for like a minute.
Anyway, they like this one. It’s better than the previous sauce. Great.
6:00 – Now the next one.
It’s all right.
8:15 – Tony is talking about his butthole being on fire.
8:45 – And the next one. I’ll say…that it’s going to be …pretty good.
11:15 – They start eating…celery to dissipate the heat. I’ve never heard of this. Let me look this up.
This seems to be something that they serve with chicken wings in the US. At least in the US. My chicken wing experience is extremely limited. I don’t think that it’s a restaurant genre that exists in the UK.
12:30 – Now Johanna says that she’s going to “burn her butthole”.
By the way, that last sauce was pretty hot. Tony started crying like Newt Wallen when he watches a Spider-Man cartoon.
14:00 – They’re on the last one, by the way. Johanna says that it smells like ass, later she says that it tastes like ass, and she’s made references to stuff coming out of her ass. This is great content.
19:00 – Johanna reiterates that the last one tastes like ass.
So that’s the video. This is what Youtube was made for: to listen to a boring woman say that everything is “ass”.
How am I going to top that? Oh, I know. I’ll give my own disgusting story about “ass”.
For the past 15 years or so, whenever I eat something spicy, I shit blood. I looked it up and saw that it could be cancer but more likely it’s merely hemorrhoids. I’m betting on hemorrhoids because I don’t want to go to a doctor about this.
This article is going to go viral. People are dying to know about my bloody stool. Ass.
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WAIT! Retro Gaming Is Dead? Find out now – TheGebs24
Another SHOCKINGLY clickbait title from this awful woman. YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE how boring she is!
0:00 – “Is retro game collecting dead?”
That’s not a topic that interests me but your channel is certainly dead.
She sure is red, by the way. How could a 45 year old woman not have figured out how sunscreen works? She’s enjoying the unusually high temperatures in the UK at the moment.
I’m a minute in and I’m already about to turn this off.
1:15 – Now there’s a desperate advertisement to get the horntards to join some paid-subscription for her channel. Yeah, good luck with that. Is finding a job really that hard?
Maybe I should “monetise” the blog. I don’t think that Patreon is the answer, though because then I’d have to write more stuff just for Patreon. And the articles would be shit because it’s just stuff that I’m writing for a handful of complete lunatics who are subscribing to my Patreon so they wouldn’t be happy with that. And the people who aren’t subscribed wouldn’t be happy either. “Hey, we want to read your shitty Patreon articles. Why are you hiding material behind a paywall, you moneygrubbing loser? Go get a job.”
If I just had a straight up “give me money” link like these camgirls or no-class Youtubers do, that would better but I’d feel bad. I don’t need the money. And I’d question the mental acumen of anyone who donates money to the blog.
How much does this blog even cost to run? Let me check.
I think about £3/month for the server. And then the domain is £17/year. I think that I can comfortably swing that for a while without resorting to soliciting donations.
The “merch” store was really the way to go but fucking Retro Ali got it shut down. At least I think it was her. I had these fucking mugs with pictures of the characters in my banner on them. So you could get an Erin Plays mug or a Destiny Fomo mug or whatever. And I was splitting the profits with the woman who made the art. I got £5 from each mug sold. The mugs were like £15 each.
I sold one mug, an Erin Plays mug, and then the store got shut down. So I gave £2.50 to that woman in the Philippines.
It could have been a money maker for both of us. She was doing some job in accountancy or architecture or something that starts with “A” and she didn’t like it. And she wasn’t getting paid much. So she was doing this art as a side job. The money would have helped her. But this fucking bitch Retro Ali got it shut down.
I think that it’s Retro Ali because Retro Ali contacted this Filipina woman and told her that she should report my store for copyright violation. No, you fucking moron. I asked the woman if I could sell the mugs before I opened the store. And I told her that I’d split the profits with her. She was fine with it.
I tried another website to sell shit but their design software was much more laborious than T-Spring or whatever I was using before. So I said fuck it. I’m not going to spend an age on this when I might sell two mugs a year.
But the store is the most ethical way to monetise the blog. I get a little money, the woman in the Philipines gets a little money, and you get a mug out of it.
4:00 – “Even me, as Gemma, I’m kind of priced out of things.”
Wow, even Gemma is priced out. Even this woman who lives in the smallest house I’ve ever seen. Even this woman with no job. Even this woman who lives with her 400 pound American girlfriend who must cost a fortune to keep fed.
If even this tycoon can’t afford retro video games any more, I think it’s safe to say that the party is over. Time to start collecting Faberge eggs instead.
4:30 – Wow. That is some terrible tattooing. What even is that? She has some kind of crudely-drawn cartoon character on her upper arm and some other shit on her forearm. Terrible placement as well. Who wants a tattoo on their inner upper arm?
5:30 – She’s talking about video game shop owners who she doesn’t like. For clarity, TheGebs is a GIANT BITCH and constantly complains that the prices in shops aren’t as low as the prices on Ebay. Then don’t fucking go. Just get the stuff on Ebay. She doesn’t seem to understand this. She just complains to the store owners instead.
So this story she’s telling is about a woman store owner. She stresses that it’s a woman. She finds it particularly outrageous that a woman wouldn’t put up with her bullshit.
She claims that this woman who owned the store “Wasn’t a gamer.” “Imagine having a job that you’re not passionate about. How hard would that be for you?”
Worry about getting your own job. Whether you’re passionate for it or not.
She doesn’t even say what happened. She just says that this woman owned the store because she was interested in profit and wasn’t passionate about the job.
Here’s what I suspect happened. TheGebs went in, complained that the prices weren’t as low as they are on Ebay (as she does CONSTANTLY) and then this woman said, “So go get it on Ebay then.”
TheGebs finds this to be unacceptable. And she’s particularly outraged that a woman said this to her.
No. It makes perfect sense. A man might give you a pass because he’s hoping to have sex with you. But a woman isn’t going to play that shit. The woman doesn’t want to have sex with you, so she’s just going to tell you how it is. Buy the shit on Ebay if you want Ebay prices. Now get out of my store, you unemployed crimson lesbian.
9:30 – She’s talking about stores closing because of council tax rises.
Council tax is a levy on the property that you live in that everybody in the UK has to pay. The money goes to your local government. So it’s like a city tax. Unlike in the US, everybody has to pay this, even if you’re renting. It’s fucking ridiculous. Only the homeowner should have pay tax, as is the case in the US.
But anyway, recently I got a council tax demand for like £4. So I thought this is some bullshit. I don’t owe £4. They better explain this shit.
I didn’t want to call them because I’ve done this in the past. You’re just put on hold FOR HOURS and then when you finally get through to somebody, they can’t assist.
There’s an email address but nobody ever replies to it.
So I sent an email to somebody at the council. I got this email a few years ago from somebody I knew who works at the council in a fairly high position. I had some other council tax issue that wasn’t being addressed. They didn’t apply a discount that they should have applied.
Anyway, I emailed this woman and I said that I got this £4 bill and I don’t think it’s right so can somebody explain this to me.
Like an hour later, I got a phone call from somebody at the council. And the guy politely explained the whole situation. He says that it wasn’t my fault, it was theirs, but I do owe the money and he explained where the shortfall came in. And he keeps going on and I’m thinking, “Wow. This is real service. The guy took the time to call me over a £4 bill that I’m disputing? And within an hour of me emailing?”
Then he says, “Just out of interest, I notice that you sent this to (whoever). How did you get her email? Because she’s quite a senior manager in the council and she doesn’t tend to give her email out.”
So that’s why I got such good service over this. I emailed the head person in the council over this £4 bill. She must have been unhappy to have to deal with this.
12:00 – Oh, she actually references having a job. Good for her.
Anyway, that’s the video. I didn’t finish it but I can’t listen to this fucking Price is Right music that she has playing throughout this.
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GRIMACES BIRTHDAY Meal from Mcdonald’s – Newt Wallen
0:00 – “So McDonald’s is continuing to ride off of the adult Happy Meal that they did back in October.”
That’s quite a stretch. Eight months. Doesn’t seem particularly related to me.
1:00 – Newt is just talking about McDonaldland characters in the McDonald’s parking lot as an American flag majestically waves in the background and a US Mail truck drives past. It’s interesting that they still use those little cars.
Then he briefly talks about those McDonalds play areas that they used to have in the restaurants.
Yeah, I went to them. I remember that Officer Big Mac jail that he’s talking about. It was cool. It’s the only thing that I really remember. I think that there were a couple of those shitty ride on toys that have a huge spring at the base that allows you to move back and forth but those things are both boring as fuck and scary as fuck. They don’t look safe, it seems like that spring can break at any time, and who cares anyway? All it does is go back and forth a little.
But the jail was cool. You climb in there and…I don’t know. It’s just a confined space. Kind of claustrophobic but not enough to enduce panic.
1:30 – So anyway, there’s a purple milkshake for this promotion.
1:48 – Ooh. Some MILF walks by. Actually, I don’t know if she’s a MILF or not. She’s not in focus.
2:15 – Newt says that the milkshake tastes like Fruity Pebbles and…it’s alright, he guesses.
This is every food review that he does. I mean, it’s true. How many times are you dazzled or outraged by food? But I don’t know. I think that a food reviewer has to be a little more passionate about food.
I went to one of those birthday parties at McDonald’s before. I might have been in the second grade. Something like this. And I have a hazy memory of people really wanting to have their birthdays at McDonalds. Like it was a big deal.
I thought that it was lame as fuck, though. I knew that something wasn’t right about it. Having your birthday in some corporate environment. All of the stupid little games were McDonalds-themed. It takes place in just some room in the rear of the restaurant. It’s weird. Why was this even happening? Why would they build the restaurant with this room in mind? Because it takes up a lot of space. Were these parties really that profitable?
And I know that it’s a way to make people continue to go to McDonalds into adulthood because they have *nostalgic* memories of the parties but I don’t know. Could it really be that effective? Well, we have 40 year old Newt Wallen doing a video on a milkshake and McDonalds is extremely profitable so maybe they’re on to something.
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Erin is a Big V8 Fan
She re-tweeted that. She never drank a V8 in her life.
Do they even still sell this shit? I remember at the time I left the US, they started to branch out to fruit juices. This was mid 2000s. Why? Who would want V8 fruit juice? Just focus on the vegetable drink market. They already had that locked up.
And it’s all owned by some multinational conglomerate anyway who probably has their own brands of fruit juice. Why bring V8 into that market?
They had the original V8 juice. It’s a fine product. Then they had the spicy variety. Great. Possibly an improvement on the original.
You’re telling me that there’s nowhere else to go from there? What about an extra spicy variety? And there must be something else that they can come up with. I don’t want to do all of their work for them.
I used to drink them as a kid. They came in those tiny cans that had a pull top. Why were they in tiny cans?
I think it’s because the main market for the beverage is alcoholics. They’re using it to make bloody Marys. So you don’t want a full can.
But the marketing always presented it as a regular beverage that the whole family can enjoy. And that was the case in my family. Nobody was mixing it with alcohol, as far as I’m aware.
Then later, let’s say by the 1990s, they started selling them in regular size cans. I guess by this point, they were more directly targeting the non-alcoholic market.
They also started selling them in large plastic bottles, I think.
Anyway, I liked it. They don’t sell it in the UK but they do sell a product called Big Tom. But that’s clearly marketed to people who want to make bloody Marys. It comes in a glass bottle. It’s spicy. I think that it even says on the bottle that it’s good for mixing with alcohol or on its own. But the “on its own” part is clearly an afterthought. It also has a premium price. It’s fine, probably even better than V8, but I don’t get it very often.
She’s a big Sharper Image fan, guys! And she says that she hopes that Youtuber Retail Archaeology will appreciate this.
Don’t fucking worry about what Retail Archaeology likes. Worry about what Mike Matei likes. She’s forever going on about Retail Archaeology or Joe from Gamesack or whatever but not the guy who she’s fucking living with FOR YEARS. I’m talking the love of her life: Mike Matei. This guy who’s spent untold thousands of dollars on her. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Who knows? Takes trips to California with her every two weeks. Gives her free room and board. Showers her with gifts. Doesn’t require her to get a job. Has aggressively promoted her channel at every opportunity. And all he asks in return for all of this is butt sex every night.
But no. Erin just wants to focus on her beta orbiters.
Anyway, somebody in the comments says that in Canada, gift cards don’t expire because they’re considered to be money. Well, that’s interesting. I didn’t know that. They expire in the US. They expire in the UK. But why should they? Canada has figured this out. It’s an interesting piece of trivia.
So Erin, ever the dullard, gives a totally boring reply that doesn’t address this guy’s point AT ALL.
She retweeted this too. She’s a big Napster fan, guys. She would have been 12 in 1999. Something like that. Just chilling on Napster. Downloading those Spice Girls singles one at a time. Each file takes an hour to download.
Before Napster, there were some pirate websites that would have music on them but they would come and go regularly. Nothing really stood out. Then with Napster you were able to download everything, even obscure shit. It was great.
Then I got banned for that Metallica thing. All I downloaded was Enter Sandman but that was apparently enough to get banned. What bullshit. Then the service basically died anyway.
And then there’s this. Which one of these mini arcade cabinets does Erin want the most? She just can’t decide, guys. It’s keeping her up at night.
It’s a stealth ad. She does this regularly for this Numbskull company. It can’t possibly be allowed by Twitter. And how much money can she possibly be getting for these ads? Pennies, I’m thinking.
Oh, top comment is Joe from Gamesack. He says, “LOL I didn’t even notice the game pad.”
This is a reference to Erin saying that she likes the gamepad. She finds it cute. And Joe, according to what he said a few years ago on Reddit, REALLY likes Erin’s content because she points out little things in the background. That’s why he watches her videos. That’s why he reads her Twitter. He’s all about people who point out cute little things in the background.
Uh huh. He’s just counting the days until Mike and Erin’s storybook romance comes to an end so he can swoop in.
Somebody in the comments says that these things are $300. Really? Let me look this up. I won’t use Erin’s link because I don’t want to give her the $0.02.
Yeah, they are. For this cheaply-made piece of shit.
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Atari Coke Wins / Pepsi Invaders Video Game – Cola Wars Hidden History – Irate Gamer
I watched this yesterday. I don’t remember anything too stupid in this so it might get a little nitpicky but just consider it to be in the style of the defunct Irate Gamer Sucks blog.
https://irategamersucks.blogspot.com/
0:00 – World’s worst actor. He does this annoying bug-eyed thing. What a shit load of…something. Something deeply unfunny.
1:00 – “There’s always one small footnote in history that everyone seems to gloss over. Now, it’s one of the biggest shots that Coke ever fired across the bow of Pepsi. And that shot was a little known title called Coke Wins.”
Did Chris BORES even read this script? He’s talking about an obscure game that was given at some Coke corporate meeting to like 125 people. So in these three sentences, he startes by calling it a “small footnote”, then in the next sentence it’s “one of the biggest shots”, and then in the final sentence it’s a “little known title.”
Which is it? Is it big or little? It can’t be both.
1:30 – He claims that it’s the rarest Atari game. At least one nerd in the comments corrects this.
“After doing my own deep dive research on this game, I’ve finally cracked the code.”
Uh huh. Let me do my own deep dive research. I’ll Google “Pepsi Invader”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepsi_Invaders
There’s the Rosetta Stone that Chris BORES discovered. Just about everything in that article is mentioned in his video.
2:00 – He’s talking about how Coca-Cola purchased Columbia Pictures for $700 million. Then he says, “Mere chump change for any Hyrulian” and there’s a doctored video of Link buying a building (that represents Columbia Pictures) for 700 million rupees.
What does Link have to do with Coca-Cola? The directors of Coca-Cola weren’t from Hyrule. Why did Chris BORES say that they were? It doesn’t make any fucking sense. What’s the connection? Explain the “joke”.
Just terrible writing.
2:15 – Terrible acting AND terrible lighting as we see Chris BORES in his “game room” that’s full of those cheap tabletop arcade machines that NOBODY likes.
2:30 – Cringey as fuck skit of Chris Bores and two other people (also played by Chris Bores…of course) singing that New York song from some musical. Chris Bores does seem like a musical theatre fan.
3:00 – He describes some game where you control a tank as a “rehash of Frogger.” It looks NOTHING like Frogger. The gameplay seems to be nothing like Frogger. How the fuck did he come up with Frogger for this?
3:15 – Unbelieveably cringe bad acting by Chris BORES as he gets “irate” over one of his $200 tabletop arcade machines.
4:00 – “So now you’re probably wondering what all of this has to do with this Coca-Cola game. Well, hold on, Mr Impatient. I’m getting there.”
Uh huh. I’m Mr Impatient.
By the way, all of that shit that Chris BORES was talking about…it had almost nothing to do with this Coca-Cola game.
4:45 – “Thankfully, yes, I do have an original copy in my hands here to review today. Let me tell you that this was damn near impossible to find because Coca-Cola only made 125 copies to hand out to potential clients in 1983. And when they did hand these out to potential clients, they didn’t come in these fancy packages. No, I ended up buying this online.”
He’s been holding this package up the whole time. So…he starts by saying that he has an ORIGINAL COPY. He goes on to talk about how it was “damn near impossible” to find this because there were only 125 of the games made.
Then he says, “Oh, I just bought this online. It’s a reproduction.”
Fucking idiot. He does not read these scripts. He just shits them out in a day, Newt Wallen style, and then films it.
Let me look this up.
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/889284754/pepsi-invaders-box-for-the-atari-2600
Somebody is selling them on their Etsy shop for $20. This was the first result on Google. Wasn’t damn hard to find. And it wasn’t an original. And they probably made more than 125 of these things. There are 244 reviews of the product, after all.
5:30 – He said “swag bag” for at least the third time in this video.
6:30 – Chris BORES suggests that the CEOs of Pepsi, “Probably look like aliens.”
Another insane conspiracy theory that Chris BORES believes in, I guess. Like the lizard people.
7:00 – TERRIBLE acting as Chris BORES pretends to play the game.
7:15 – “I’m surprised that nobody else made a bigger deal about this game because this is damn near epic.”
It’s Space Invaders but they replaced the aliens with the words PEPSI. Who cares? This is shit. This is boring. It’s just a sprite swap. And a BAD sprite swap. A child could have made this.
8:00 – More AWFUL acting from Chris BORES as he pretends to play the game. He needs to stop including these shots. They don’t add anything. They just detract. They’re annoying. Stop doing this.
8:30 – An animated Pac-Man starts chewing on Chris BORES’ balls or something. I don’t even know. What was the joke here? Once again, there is none. He is not checking any of this writing.
9:15 – “Being somebody who’s actually attended a few of these high-profile company meetings in the past, I can say that without a doubt that out of 125 of these copies, sadly, probably half of those were tossed out and…”
And he continues estimating how many copies of this game still exist based on his vast experience of attending “high-profile company meetings.”
I think that this is the first time that I’ve actually laughed at an Irate Gamer video. What high-profile company meetings is he attending? In one of his awful podcasts, where he just talks about conspiracy theories, he was telling some nutjob story about talking to some bigwig about something and then the deal fell through but he was really hazy on the details and refused to elaborate because he thought that his life would be in danger if he said anything. Or something. It was completely insane. He clearly has mental health problems.
But also, how does any of this prepare him for being able to estimate how many of these games still exist? “Oh, I’ve been to a lot of high-profile company meetings so I can guess with precision how many Atari games still exist.” It doesn’t follow. It makes no fucking sense.
10:00 – Now, for no reason at all, Chris BORES is holding a packet of Kool-Aid. There’s more terrible acting. And then he re-uses footage from a previous video, from YEARS ago, of Chris BORES dressed as the Kool-Aid man bursting through a wall.
Then the video ends on a low note with a shot of Chris BORES once again pretending to be “irate”. Terrible, terrible, horrible, god awful…umm…scandalously bad acting.
- “It’s just a Wikipedia read with some lame jokes thrown in.”
It’s accurate. Had I read this, I wouldn’t have even written the article. This guy summed the video up perfectly.
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Wait…SupaPixelGirl got a job as a psychiatrist or something? – PixelWeaver
It’s in her Discord. She says, “I’ve got 4 patients in a row starting in 10 minutes.” And then she says, “My first one was a no show 😊 which means less work and write up for me yayyyy”
What empathy. The patient didn’t show up, maybe they killed themself, but if it means less work for SupaCrazyBitch, she’s happy. It’s unbelievable. And she’s posting this shit on Discord? About her job as some kind of a therapist? She describes them as “patients” so this suggests that she got a job as a psychiatrist or some kind of legitimate medical practitioner. Not just “love doctor” or something.
What legitimate medical professional posts about their patients on Discord?
She also says that she hasn’t gone outside all day and she’s warning people to wear masks and shit. What is this?
Canadian wildfires bring dangerous air to Northeast US.
I see. So the last I heard about SupaLardAss’s job search is that she went to Boston or somewhere to look for work as a psychiatrist or psychologist. This was YEARS ago. It seems that she actually managed to do this? How? Look at how grossly unprofessional she is. She had that scam OnlyFans for years. She has a Youtube channel FULL of completely insane videos. Every fucking video screams, “I’M A GIANT MENTAL PATIENT”. She’s completely out of her mind. Who would POSSIBLY employ this person as a psychiatrist or psychologist?
This was a video that she posted to her Youtube channel and she invited the horntards to leave messages to her then boyfriend, who she had only known for a short while, in response to this video. She referred to this gentleman as being “chocolate”, by the way. It was a black man. She thought that it was appropriate to call him “chocolate.”
What about any of this is even REMOTELY appropriate? Why would she possibly think that a man would want to read horny comments from retards about how hot she is in this totally insane video? That guy must have ran a mile after he saw this video and the responses from the horntards.
THIS is somebody who’s entrusted to safeguard people’s mental health? It’s impossible. There is NO WAY that she found anybody to employ her. There’s no way that she got whatever licenses are required.
Her fellow students reported her for her grossly unprofessional and insane behaviour.
I mean…just look at that fucking video. That’s the only proof that you would have to present to any psychiatristy or psychology regulatory body. This fat woman “dancing” in some kind of spastic fashion in a hoodie that’s pulled up tight around her face. And weird shit appears on the screen. This is the product of severe psychosis.
Her “role” on her Discord server is listed as “mommy”. And somebody in the Youtube comments calls her “mommy”.
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxMpwTBqkQQrJzpSN5jB9ncoQjhQ16TvRA
This is somebody who’s dealing with people in crisis?
Here’s another gem on Discord: “Ughhh got my period today and my cramps are so intense right now”
Why would…we don’t need to know this. This is some weird thing that you MIGHT share with your boyfriend, chocolate or otherwise. Not to a group of horny retards on Discord. And as somebody with a professional job.
“It was a short stream because I kept coughing haha”
This is one of MANY references that she makes to being ill because of this forest fire. She seems to have some kind of bizarre paranoia about this. You’re going to go to this nutjob for help with your mental problems?
“Oh wow! There’s been lots of activity once I passed out for the night. My cocktail of meds worked wonders”
How much more…it’s somebody taking a “cocktail” of “meds” to the point where she passed out and…she’s somehow working in the mental health profession? There’s no fucking way.
Maybe she’s just created this whole story and it’s part of her mental illness.
“I need to post more on twitter. Like thrist traps or something”
Would you want your psychiatrist saying this on Discord to horny retards?
Oh, and by the way, in that Youtube Community thing that I linked to, there’s a picture of SupaMetalPatient showing a foot of cleavage.
“I just took melatonin, TWO Benadryl, and will be taking NyQuil soon. I better fall asleep before 1am Lol”
“Im feeling good because I took my meds lol
DayQuil and Motrin !!!!!!!”“I really should just take a xanny and just peace out for 12 hrs”
“Lol just get ducking drunk”
Mixing alcohol with these large quantities of prescription drugs that she seems to regularly be taking.
I think that I’ve made my point. What else can I say? If she does actually have some kind of job where she’s dealing with vulnerable people, that needs to be urgently re-evaluated.
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A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is Freddy for The MTV Generation -Tony from Hack the Movies
Tony is reviewing another horror movie from the 1990s (or maybe 1980s) that I haven’t seen before and don’t give a shit about. So this should be great.
I think that the problem is that I wasn’t interested in movies as a kid. I only went to the cinema…I don’t know…two or three times that I can recall. And at home, I remember getting a VCR and my father’s friend from work bringing ET. This was a big deal because ET was like $70 or something to purchase. Movies were expensive in those days.
We went to the video rental place…once? I think just once. We got Good Morning Vietnam and something else.
The VCR was basically my father’s. He would leave it on a timer to record stuff that he wanted to watch while he was at work. So we were afraid to touch it. You couldn’t just put a movie in and start watching because there was already a tape in the machine and it was set to record at some point in the near future.
So when people talk about going to the video store and their personal tape collection and shit, I didn’t have that experience. And I didn’t go to the cinema. So all of these movies for pre-adolescent boys that Tony talks about, I never watched any of that shit. I didn’t take any sort of interest in movies until I was…I don’t know…in my 30s, I guess. So I was watching films that would appeal to a reasonably intelligent grown man, not movies for 12 year old boys.
0:15 – But first a word from our sponsor: some scam loot box.
Do people still buy these? They were a fad…I dont know…five years ago? Maybe longer than that. But then people realised that it was just a box of shit that they didn’t want coming to their homes every month.
Anyway, this particular loot box that Tony is shilling for looks particularly scammy. It involves online gambling of an extremely dubious variety, even by the standards of online gambling.
2:00 – Then we’re treated to…Tony and Horseface talking about Tony’s cat. The cat is on the set. This is so desperate and at the same time boring as fuck.
5:30 – Horseface says that she’s seen a lot of penises. It’s a testament to the abject desperation of man.
I’m at 20 minutes, by the way. Nothing is happening. I’m just waiting for Horseface to talk about hot chicks. Has she finally given up on that?
21:00 – Oops. Spoke too soon. Horseface says that she loved the black nerdy female character. She hated that she wasn’t it the movie longer. It’s a veiled reference to it being a hot chick. I’ll take it. Even this character who is portrayed as a nerd is considered a hot chick in Horseface’s book.
Whatever happened to Ugly Betty? They just put glasses and braces on a hot chick and called it a day.
22:30 – They’re talking about a scene where a character has some words carved in his chest. And you know what Horseface asks Tony? “I love that. Did you ever have anybody — nobody’s ever carved anything of you or into you or — no?”
No, Horseface. What the fuck is she thinking? Why would she possibly ask such a bizarre question? Like this is normal.
Because, as usual, she was just PRETENDING to take an interest in Tony’s sex life. It was just a prelude to set up her own disgusting story.
“I had an ex who carved my name into his skin.”
Great stuff, Horseface. You’re really hot. Everybody wants to have sex with you. And now this unfortunate man has to explain to people why he has “HORSEFACE” carved into his arm.
She goes on to say that this was in the 7th grade. So Horseface thinks that she was a hot chick even in the 7th grade. It really goes against Horseface’s pity stories, that she tells later, about how she was bullied and whatnot in school and how unpopular she was.
Then Tony says that no, he never carved anybody’s name into his flesh. But he did date somebody who scratched him a lot.
Uh huh. Tony is a real stud. Who wouldn’t want this fat guy who works at a shitty Youtube company? Or I don’t know when this was. Maybe this was during the time when Tony worked in retail. That’s a real panty dropper, right? Or what about now when he’s making these god awful Youtube videos full time? For pennies. The ladies must be lining up around the block.
I made it to 25 minutes. That’s more than twice as good as I normally do. I’m turning this off, though.
“Nobody’s ever carved anything into you?” What the fuck? Everything has to be some weird sex thing with Horseface. AND LOOK AT HER!
I was watching some Newt Wallen videos recently. He did a short where PVC Bondage Guy flashes his boobs at Newt. And there’s another video where PVC Bondage Guy is wearing a strapless dress and he keeps having to pull it up because it keeps falling. It’s just fucking desperate. This is not appealing. I don’t know why these women don’t seem to get it.
PVC Bondage Guy was much more attractive when he was…well, this may be a ridiculous thing to say given the circumstances. But he was much more attractive when he was merely wearing PVC bondage gear. The PVC bondage gear was relatively subtle in comparison to his later overtly sexual bullshit.
I liked the nerdy PVC Bondage Guy, with broken glasses, where you just watched the videos and thought, “What the fuck is this man wearing?” There was an intrigue to it. He wasn’t hitting you over the head with his sexuality. He had dignity or at least the illusion of dignity. Dignity is sexy. Desperation is not.
Destiny Fomo, same shit. “Look at my tits, guys! Look at my tits, guys! Look at my tits, guys!” Okay, I see them. Great. Now what? I’m supposed to go to your shitty OnlyFans? No, I’m not doing that. I’m totally flaccid here. This desperation is a giant turn off.
You hear the same thing in dating situations where women aren’t interested in guys because they seem too eager and desperate. This is something that I’ve experiened first hand. The minute I stopped giving a shit, suddenly the ladies were interested. But by that point, I didn’t give a shit so I wasn’t interested.
And you look at ShiShi and and that weird guy who posts “Smoke show, young lady” on Horseface’s Twitter. Are they successful AT ALL in their attempts to woo these women? “Maybe if I just completely debase myself Erin will go on a date with me.” Yeah, let me know how that’s working out for you, ShiShi. When’s the wedding?
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Across The Spider verse Review – Newt Wallen
It’s Newt reviewing a movie in his car at 3.00 am. But I’ve been thinking. This is actually a good idea from The Ideas Man. Not necessarily the car and time aspect but I mean reviewing new movies is a good idea. And he’s been doing this for some considerable time but I just haven’t really noticed.
But this is what people want. People want reviews of NEW movies. They don’t particularly want a review of some movie from 30 years ago. Especially when it’s a mainstream movie that they already know about and quite possibly already saw.
So this is another point for The Ideas Man. He reviews OBSCURE old movies. Tits and gore shit but at least it’s obscure. We’ve never heard of these movies before. So it’s like a new movie.
It’s a better idea than Rental Reviews or whatever it is Hack the Movies. So at least there’s that. And as far as execution goes, Newt actually brings some semblance of a review to these things. He talks about the actors and directors and shit and other things that they’ve done. Tony does that as well but I don’t know. I don’t think that he does it to the same extent as Newt does. I don’t think that Tony has the depth of cinema knowledge that Newt has.
Also, the personal ancedotes that Newt liberally inserts into his reviews is another good idea. I do it myself with the blog. That’s the only reason that anyone reads the blog. If I was just doing reviews where I said, “Okay, then Erin said this stupid thing. Then she said this stupid thing. Then she died for the 20th time”, that would get stale. But if I intersplice that sort of material with personal ancedotes about clogging the toilet or whatever, suddenly you have something worth reading.
People want to know something about the person. That’s what makes things interesting. You have to inject your own personality into whatever content you’re creating.
This is one of many reasons why Erin’s videos are so terrible, for example. What do we know about Erin? She once ate a hot dog and threw up. That’s about it. She’s a personality blackhole. She doesn’t let us into her life. Probably there’s nothing going on in her life. She’s never done anything. But that makes for extremely boring content.
Newt brings it. Newt brings his personal life and his struggles and his hopes and dreams into every fucking video. This is what makes the videos interesting. This is why Newt quickly became my number three most talked about subject (Erin being first, Cinemassacre being second). If he was just talking about movies, as Tony does, I’d be bored out of my fucking mind, as I am with Tony’s videos.
Anyway, just some observations before we get started with the video. Across the Spiderverse. I don’t give a shit. But let’s hear him out. Maybe he’s also going to talk about what he had for lunch or something.
0:00 – Newt says that he’s been at the theatre since 9:00 am and it’s now 3:00 the next day. I’m not an expert on employment law or anything but I just have a feeling that this isn’t allowed. An 18 hour work day? This has never been allowed in this history of employment. I don’t think that slaves worked 18 hours a day. Let me look this up.
Most results indicate 8 to 14 hours a week. But I found this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Industrial_slave
I remember hearing about this in college. One of the arguments against the American Civil War that people have is, “Industrialisation would have ended slavery anyway.” Because with more modern farm equipment, you don’t need as many human beings to do the work.
But what these people fail to realise is exactly what that Wikipedia article talks about. They had slaves working in factories. The slaves were owned by the companies. There’s no reason why this couldn’t carry on. You could have had the Ford company or whatever making cars that are entirely the product of slave labour. As the article also points out, this was an extremely profitable enterprise. No labour costs.
And going further into the future, you could have slaves working in offices, whatever. The entire economy could have been run on slavery. Every industry. It was already happening. Slavery wasn’t confined to farm work.
7:30 – Wait…this is a cartoon? I don’t know anything about it.
I was interested in Spider-Man when I was between the ages of 11 and 15 or so but that’s about it. I never watched any cartoon. I think there was one in the 1990s or 2000s but I was too old for that shit by then. I just read the comics when I was 11 to 15.
But this movie seems rather derivative of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie…what was it called…Turtles Forever. I saw that a few years ago. I’m not sure why. But I liked it. They talked about this movie in a recent Pegwarmers.
This was a decent format for Pegwarmers. I didn’t mind this.
Anyway, back to Newt. He liked the movie because it brought up some themes that he could identify with and he started to get a little misty. Like the time that Newt got bit by a radioactive horse. I don’t know. I wasn’t really listening by the end of it. But he was saying something about he this cartoon really hit him in the feelings.
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Destiny Fomo is hanging out with the world’s fattest and oldest gangbangers
From left to right: TBelly, IFixRetro, Madam Fomo. They all live in fabulous New York City! Wow! The big city! I hope one day to be able to achieve my dream of living in New York City!
It’s a complete fucking dump.
But IFixRetro lives in Brooklyn. It’s right there on his Twitter. He wants us to know what borrough of New York City he lives in. Simply putting “New York City” isn’t good enough. He wants to us to know the borrough. He’s representing, guys. Give us the street. Where’s the best place to get a bagel and a pizza in Brooklyn? We want to know. We want to know all about Brooklyn. Is it as awesome as the movies make out?
Nobody gives a shit about Brooklyn. But, inexplicably, people from New York City never seem to understand this. They think that the rest of the country, indeed, the rest of the world is obsessed with New York City. No. They’re not. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. They don’t give a shit about New York City. At all. They’re not impressed with you living there. They don’t care about where to get the freshest bagels. They don’t care about your sports teams. And they themselves don’t want to live there. And it’s not the result of jealousy. It’s due to complete disinterest.
TBelly is also from Brooklyn. Right there on his Twitter profile. Oh, great. He’s another guy who just can’t seem to comprehend what the views are of people who live outside of New York City.
Where does Madam Fomo live? Who knows or cares? I mean, it’s New York City but I don’t know the borrough. And that’s important. We need to know the borrough. New York City is too broad.
By the way, a few years ago, Madam Fomo said that she was leaving New York. This was during covid. She said that she was leaving because of favourite hot dog vendor had to close. I’m not making this up. It was the best place in Brooklyn to get a hot dog. They eat them with saurkraut. Did you know that? That’s important. We all need to know that they put saurkraut on their hot dogs in New York City. That’s special information that everybody on earth needs to know.
Here are some articles where Madam Fomo talks about leaving New York City:
They’re from three years ago. Some of the videos are deleted now, but fortunately the articles still exist to document yet another of Destiny Fomo’s many, many, MANY lies.
Back to TBelly. He doesn’t look that fat in that first picture, does he? That’s because he’s hiding his titular belly in that picture. Here’s another picture:
He’s fucking enormous. 400 pounds easy. He seems to spend a lot of time with Madam Fomo. This is far from the first time I’ve seen him in some kind of correspondance with Madam Fomo. And you know what that means? He’s a john. He’s paying her for all of this. And he’s paying her for sex, of course. Why else would Madam Fomo hang out with that enormous fat man? It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure this out.
Imagine this being your life. Having to have sex with that guy. And however many similar guys. But TuanX needs the money. What else is he going to do? Get a job? It’s ridiculous.
And Madam Fomo got universally panned in her escort reviews. It was on an escort review website specifically for prosptitutes from NEW YORK CITY! They need their own special review site. And I believe that there were subforums where they broke things down into borroughs.
So that fat nerd is having BAD sex with Madam Fomo. It’s sad for everybody involved.
But that fat fuck is there doing some kind of gang sign. Is he a Crip or a Blood or what? Don’t they have different gangs in fabulous New York City? What can the “V” possibly mean?
Oh, I found an answer to this hand gesture on that scholarly website: Quora.
“It’s (generally) the same as the more familiar, strictly vertical peace sign, but with more urban flavor. Like baseball caps tilted to the side, a little lean goes a long way.”
I’ve never seen this before. Of course, I’m not from fabulous New York City. This is how they do the peace sign in New York City. Specifically: Brooklyn. Who knew?
Still, I’m thinking that this guy is a gang member.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_Gaylords
He’s bringing them back. And in NEW YORK CITY this time. Brooklyn. He’s representing the Almighty Gaylords, Brooklyn chapter. In this new version, their colours are chocolate and mustard. And instead of getting jumped in, you have to win a competitive eating contest against other members of the gang. And they sag their fat guy shorts simply because it’s difficult to find shorts big enough to fit them.
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Dragon Quest VII, SLOWEST RPG in the World…. | Dragon Quest VII Review – Pelvic Gaming
Apologies to the legions of people out there who want to read me talking about this Pelvic Gamer video but I’m not watching this. It’s just another boring JRPG review from her. Presumably.
But look at the thumbnail or go to 0:23, for example. It’s Pelvic Gamer with her blue lipstick and giant afro.
Pelvic Gamer recently did a video with her mother. As here:
I wanted to watch it. I wanted to give it a chance. I didn’t even want to shit on it. But it was so cringe that I couldn’t watch more than a few seconds of it. I felt bad for everybody involved and I thought that if I write about this video, I’m going to feel like a giant asshole. Because it’s just Pelvic Gamer and her mother answering questions from horntards. And that’s weird. It’s weird that her mother supports Pelvic Gamer in her “job” of conning horny retards out of pennies. But I just couldn’t do it.
You may notice that her mother is white.
Pelvic Gamer goes out of her way to present herself as a black woman. She has this giant afro. She sometimes wears African…I don’t even know…headwraps and shit. She’s promoted businesses owned by black people (and only businesses owned by black people). She did a series of videos during Black History Month promoting these businesses. She has a black boyfriend. Shit like this.
As stated previously, Pelvic Gamer’s mother is white. Her father, presumably, is black.
Maybe he died. And if he did, I give my genuine condolences and I apologise in advance for this article.
But we’ve never seen Pelvic Gamer’s father. Maybe she’s never seen him either. You know what I’m saying? Do we have to look up the statistics for absentee fathers and race?
In spite of the fact, or the assumption, that Pelvic Gamer’s father played little to no role in her life, she wants to identify as a black person. Why? The most important black person in her life let her down massively.
And her mother, who’s white, who raised her, to hell with her.
It’s a giant slap in the face.
I’m not saying that Pelvic Gamer should join the Klan but I’m saying that she should identify as a mixed race person. Because that’s clearly what she is. We can see her mother. We can see that Pelvic Gamer has a light complexion.
Why does she have to go to comical, stereotypical, borderline offensive lengths to look like a god damn buffoon? Black people, REAL black people, DON’T tend to have giant afros. They don’t wear blue lipstick either, but I’m not sure if the lipstick is a racial thing or just a symptom of her own mental illness.
It’s just such an insult to her mother. Her mother raised her while father immediately went off trawling for more fat white bitch booty. So in honour of that great man, Pelvic Gamer devoted her life to black culture.
You get the same thing from Bobdunga. Her mother is Indian. How many times do you see Bobduna in a sari or talking about her favourite Bollywood movies or cooking a delicious curry? Never. But she’s all over black culture.
Where’s Bobdunga’s father? Same place as Pelvic Gamer’s father. Nobody knows for sure but probably fucking a fat white woman in the ass.
You might think that it’s difficult to be mixed race and this is some kind of coping mechanism. But is it really difficult to be mixed race? Is it significantly different from a white American who has a laundry list of ethnicities that he claims ownership of? Or any other race and nationality. Japanese people who have Korean ancestors. Brazilian people who have Japanese ancestors. Mexican people who have Spanish and American Indian ancestors. Scottish people who have Irish ancestors. This is an issue that exists for virtually everybody on earth. People just get on with it. Who gives a shit?
The very concepts of “race” and “nationality” have no scientific basis, these are purely social constructs, and the defintions change over time. So why concern yourself with this nebulous bullshit that doesn’t mean anything? Why devote your life to try to look and act like your idea of a black American? There’s no such thing. People residing in America who have dark complexions have a wide variety of ethnic backgrounds and traditions and beliefs. You’re chasing something that doesn’t exist.
So Pelvic Gamer, Bobduna, I’m just saying be comfortable with who are: a couple of dumb, mentally ill bitches. And that’s okay.