Gamer Girls

We’re back with The Ideas Man. Somebody in the comments to a previous Newt article said that all that Newt can give this old prostitute is a video where he’s opening a pack of cards. I thought that he was joking. No. This is a real video. This is Skeletor’s debut video on Schlock & Awe. I’m not including the livestreams.

By the way, I saw bits of the recent livestream with Skeletor and PVC Bondage Guy. This one:

There is absolutely no way that I’m watching three hours of that. Nobody is. But I skipped around a couple of times. Everybody seems to be drunk. Skeletor is ridiculously full of herself. She says that she’s “working” tonight, whatever that means, somebody in the blog comments suggests shooting “content” for OnlyFans. And Newt referred to this woman as his “muse.”

I’m thinking that maybe he’s using the word “muse” as a joke now, knowing that people find it comical. But I’m not sure. Maybe he’s genuinely still using the word “muse.”

So an 18 minute video of Newt opening a pack of worthless cards with this prostitute. Come on. This is ridiculous. Ten minutes, absolute maximum for this shit.

0:00 – “So you guys like these trading card videos.”

Oh. Really. Do tell. Who are the people who like these videos? They’re awful.

The videos where he’s reviewing junk food are better than this shit. These cards are worth NOTHING. And they’re boring. The cards themselves are boring. So what’s the appeal?

Newt says, “Where can we find you?” and Skeletor says, “Instagram, Twitter” and so on. Well no shit. We’re looking for your username on these platforms. You might as well have said, “the internet” or “Kensington Avenue” or “Right here on Schlock and Awe.”

0:45 – Newt says that some Daredevil movie had a “cock rock” soundtrack. Whatever that means. Newt just wanted to say “cock” around this prostitute. And she got uncomfortable, of course. Newt has no idea how to speak to women. I mean, I know she’s a prostitute but she’s still a human being who can recognise creeps.

1:15 – Newt mentions that Coolio “just died”. Newt loves mentioning dead celebrities. He was a big Coolio fan. Never talked about him once while he was alive.

By the way, this woman pretends to be interested in comic book shit. And wrestling, I think. I saw it on her Twitter description or something. It’s just more ridiculously transparent bullshit to try to lure in horntards who also enjoy these nerds things.

Back when Destiny Fomo was advertising her “here’s my phone number, please talk to me, I’m so lonely” scam, I remember somebody in the comments saying, “Can I tell you about the new Transformers that I got?” and Madam Fomo said, “Uhh, sure, I guess.” That shit was a step too far even for Madam Fomo.

But yeah, all of these women pulling this horntard scam love nerd shit. What a remarkable coincidence. Because the overwhelming majority of women DON’T like Star Trek or X-Men or The Bastion Booger or whatever. I’d say a good 99% of women don’t like those things. And yet these women who take their clothes off for money or are in some way trying to capitalise on their appearance are all about that nerd shit.

You have Erin talking about what a big fan she is of Dungeons & Dragons, for example. Or Star Trek.

Why not just be honest? Would the horntards not still give Erin money if she said, “Look, I just like colours. Is that alright with you people?” Of course they would. They’d just talk about fucking colours. They don’t care. It’s not about the conversation, it’s about jerking off to…whatever it is that these people find titilating about Erin’s appearance in these streams.

She recently uploaded “C” in her epic journey of playing every NES game on stream, for money. And she starts the stream by saying that she’s “out of town” so not able to be on stream but “I hope you still watch anyway.”

So she knows. She knows why they’re there. They’re jerking off to that little box in the corner that has her face in it. I have no idea why but that’s what they’re doing. They’re legitimately mentally retarded. Maybe this is as much as they can handle.

By the way, “Out of town” is Erin’s euphamism for “I’m visiting my parents yet again.” It’s her twice-monthly visit to her parents.

Why can’t she put her camera on when she’s at her parents’ house anyway? She doesn’t want to show their house, I guess, but just put whatever streaming software on a laptop and sit in front of a blank wall. What’s the problem?

Anyway, back to Newt and this prostitute looking at fucking Daredevil cards from 2003.

2:45 – The next card is of Colin Farrell. Newt tells the story of how he’s BFFs with Colin Farrell or something. He met him through Todd Tuckey of TNT Amusements.

I used to watch this TNT Amusements channel. They would show pinball machines and arcade games that they’re working on. They sell used machines and refurbish them.

But the more I watched, the more I realised that this guy’s an asshole. He would complain about tipping a lot, for example. He would call out people who didn’t tip his delivery drivers or people who didn’t tip when having parties at his warehouse. He even left responses to Google reviews calling people out for not tipping.

Hey, asshole, pay your drivers more and include the cost of the tip in the price of the parties if you think that this is what it should cost.

And people would email him with questions about how to fix their pinball machine. So he’d call them up and say that technical support is $50/hour. And he’d put this shit in the video. Or him being an asshole to viewers of the channel who assumed, wrongly, that he was a decent person interested in helping out.

If you don’t want to help people fix their machines, fine. I appreciate that it’s a business. But why make a video where you’re wasting their time and insulting them? He’s the one who comes off as an asshole, not them.

Then there was a 17/18 year old guy who started working there. And this guy wasn’t interested in Todd’s creepy comments and bullshit behaviour. As an example, Todd kept saying “breast stroke” or something and this guy wasn’t going for it and was encouraging Todd to stop this shit.

Then the guy quit. He was only there for like a month. Maybe not even that long. And Todd said that he quit to go to college.

Learning to fix pinball machines is probably a skill that would have served this guy better than whatever shitty degree he’s going to get from college. It’s a niche thing. Even if he doesn’t want to work for Todd, he could start his own little business or just do it as and when for a little extra money. But I don’t blame this guy one bit for quitting. Who would want to work with this fat fucking creep?

Then Todd had a heart attack. He’s like 400 pounds, by the way, and probably in his 60s. So the doctor told him to lose weight and he did. He lost a lot of weight. For about a month. And then he gained it all back.

Since then, his video are entirely unwatchable. They’re filmed on somebody’s phone from 2005. All of the employees who he used to feature are gone, whether they’re no longer working there or don’t want to appear in the videos any more, I don’t know. And just this guy being boring as fuck.

4:00 – Newt says that Skeletor is based in Missouri but she disagrees and says that she’s rarely there. Uh huh. “Travelling” you say. She’s a prostitute.

Then Newt tells her to show off her dress. Skeletor says she got it from some place in Kansas City. Newt says that he’ll link to it in the description. But he doesn’t. He also said earlier that he’d link to her social media in the description. Again, he didn’t.

4:30 – A Ben Afleck card. Let’s hear Newt’s story about how he’s BFFs with Ben Afleck now.

Newt “ran” a diner and Ben Afleck…was…somehow in the vicinity of this diner. Good story, Newt.

5:45 – “I have a screenplay that I know will never get made.”

That’s all of them, Newt. Or you should know that, anyway.

Then he gives the dumbest fucking script idea of all time. And it’s just a ripoff of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Fucking Ideas Man over here.

9:30 – Newt says “Little minority kids” when he obviously was talking about black kids. Then he mentions how racist this scene was. What a bizarre turn of phrase. And suddenly Newt is Mr Sensitivity, having made an entire video about how petrified he was of a four year old black child and this child’s grandfather with the dirty hands.

10:15 – Jennifer Garner. Newt says, “When you think Greek, you think Jennifer Garner, who is as white, milk-toast as possible.”

Newt really enjoys that racism. He’s open about his racism towards white people but he’s a little more confused about his racism against black people.

Skeletor keeps looking at the camera and adjusting her dress, by the way. She’s adjusting it to show MORE cleavage, not less.

11:30 – Newt makes a reference to a “leather bondage suit” that some character in the movie is wearing.

12:00 – “Favourite expletive or yelling moment in a movie. What have you got?”

What? This was a question from Skeletor, by the way. It comes out of nowhere.

Newt says “Kahn” from Star Trek. Skeletor says that Newt stole her answer. Uh huh. She’s a big Star Trek fan, guys. As a 45 year old woman.

Then, literally, she talks about her “D&D group.”

Uh huh. I’m about two seconds from turning this shit off. Take your ridiculously transparent lies and shove them straight up your ass.

She says that she played with this group every Sunday for 14 years.

Guess what, bitch? I’m done.