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Destiny Fomo is going to San Diego Comic Con
She’s down for hugs and high fives, guys!
Give me a fucking break. For fifty bucks, she’ll suck your cock. At least those were the latest rates that I was able to find. And according to the reviews, it will be the worst blowjob of your life.
And she talks about not wanting these nerds to smell. And the horntards, about whom she’s talking, are all like, “Yeah! You go girl! Tell those nerds that they smell bad.” They’re clueless. She’s talking about you fucking retards.
Why does she go to these things? Her pimp TuanX is interested in comic books, I guess, so he makes her say that she’s interested in comic books. Actually, I don’t even know if he’s interested in them but that’s one of the avenues where he’s laundering Madam Whoremo’s prostitution money.
She must be going there to turn tricks. Why else would she go? Her pimp can’t possibly be that interested in comic books to want to go to this fucking nerd convention across the country. She’s turning tricks at a comic convention?
I went to car conventions a couple of times as a kid and I’m pretty sure that there were women there turning tricks. But that’s a convention for adults, some of whom probably have a lot of money. I mean, the convention is showing off the latest models of cars and whatnot. Some of the people are obviously there with the intention of buying the cars. They probably have money for prostitutes.
But a comic book convention? With these fat fucking retarded nerds who live in their mother’s basement? It doesn’t seem like a good place for a prostitute to ply their trade. Even if they have some disposable income, they want to spend it on comic books, not whores. Especially not the whore who got among the worst reviews of all time.
Whoa! Look at those two mega gamers!
Her Twitter is all pictures of her breasts. Her TikTok is all videos of her breasts. She’s also on OnlyFans, presumably all pictures and videos of her breasts. Yeah, I think that I’ve figured this out. This woman has a large chest.
Oh, even her Twitch is all streams of her breasts. I didn’t think that they allowed that any more. She’s either in a hot tub or playing a video game in a bikini with her breasts all oiled up. As you do.
Here’s a video that she, bizarrely, did her number one john in Japan: “Kid” Shoruyken aka MadPanicGaming. You can check it out here:
It’s only three minutes but I’m not watching that shit.
Here’s Madam Whoremo talking about New Found Glory. I initially read this as “Found a New Glory Hole”. Appropriate for Madam Whoremo. She’s in Florida to stream with that woman with the large bosom. Did anybody notice?
Madam Whoremo is promoting her dead streaming channel that has no content. It’s still going, apparently. Nah, I’m good, Whoremo.
And here she is promoting ANOTHER video that she did for “Kid” Shoryuken. I might check it out later. For the blog, obviously. Not for my own enjoyment.
I just don’t get how that guy has money to keep flying her in and paying her for sex. He must be spending tens of thousands of dollars. How does he get it? He does TEFL shit, as far as I’m aware. That’s something that people in their 20s do for beer money. “Kid” Shoryuken is in his 50s, in spite of his eight year old boy haircut.
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Is the Barbie movie “WOKE” ? – Newt Wallen
0:00 – He says that he was invited to an “exhibitor screening” of this. Because Newt is a big shot.
6:15 – Newt summarises the movies for six minutes. It does not sound like anything that I, as a heterosexual man, would be interested in, by the way. But then he says that when he came out of the “screening”, one of the other “exhibitors” said “That was so woke.” Newt takes exception to this.
“I wanted to challenge him on what ‘woke’ means to him.”
But I was too much of a pussy so I’ll just make a Youtube video about it instead. That part is implied.
Newt says that this guy didn’t like the “feminist agenda” and Newt challenges this saying, “Barbie has been a feminist icon since the 60s.”
On what planet, Newt? I believe that feminists have long been opposed to Barbie’s unrealistic body proportions and the stereotypical jobs that the doll has had (dancer, babysitter, stewardess, et cetera). It was only really in the 1990s that Mattel, under pressure from feminists, started giving the doll a wider range of jobs.
6:45 – “It’s a movie about women and what it’s like to be a woman in a male-dominated world.”
I don’t know anything about the movie. I don’t have a tv and don’t read any news where this shit is discussed. But I’m not going to to go to a Barbie movie to learn about important social issues.
7:00 – “As straight white dudes, why are we gate-keeping Barbie?”
What are you talking about Newt? I don’t know anything about the movie. What’s the issue that’s being “gatekept”?
Then Newt says that he understood why people didn’t like the all-female Ghostbusters because Ghostbusters was a property that mostly appealed to boys. But he says that he didn’t like the movie not because it was an all-female but because it was a terrible script.
Yeah. Newt. I think that was the general consensus. It’s only these “feminist” critics who argued that people didn’t like it because it was an all-female cast.
8:00 – Now he’s talking about the Little Mermaid remake. He finds it offensive that people didn’t like that the character was black.
11:15 – Now he’s summarising the movie again. What the fuck? We already went through this.
12:30 – Newt says that he understands women because, “I’ve had a lot of female managers and essentially every girlfriend I’ve ever had has been my boss.”
Umm…is he going to go somewhere with this or is he just going to leave this ridiculous comment on its own?
No. He just leaves it.
14:30 – “Does it have a message? Yeah, it has a message and maybe if we listen, as dudes, we can learn something.”
I’m not going to a fucking Barbie movie to learn something. It’s just insulting to my intelligence. I don’t watch this shit. I watch slightly more highbrow fare.
14:45 – “So to the guy who came out of the screening and said that it was woke…”
…I’m still a giant pussy and couldn’t say anything to your face so just made a cowardly Youtube video instead because I’m a passive-aggressive little bitch.
Well, fair enough, Newt.
Then he waffles on for five minutes and the video ends.
Let’s go back to that manager comment…try to figure out what he was talking about. “I’ve had a lot of female managers and essentially every girlfriend I’ve ever had has been my boss.” And he’s saying this in the context of…this makes him understand some kind of female perspective? I guess?
No, I’m not getting it. What does having women managers have to do with anything? Why would that be the test? If you have a lot of female managers, you understand women better? It doesn’t make any sense.
I could maybe see the opposite having some merit. “I’ve had a lot of female co-workers so I have a greater understanding of what it’s like to be a woman.” And this would be in the context of having a lowly job. But that would just give you the understanding of what’s it’s like to have a shitty job, regardless of gender.
I don’t know. Traditional wisdom is that female bosses are worse than male bosses because women try to overcompensate but personally, I’ve never experienced that. I’ve probably had a roughly equal number of male and female bosses. And there’s a roughly equal number of shitty ones of both genders. I haven’t noticed any pattern.
I’ve probably had roughly equal numbers of male and female co-workers. And I can think of some real bitches when I look back at female co-workers. But I can also think of plenty of assholes when I think of male co-workers. I don’t recognise any gender bias.
Some people are just unpleasant. Like Newt Wallen, for example. Or Erin Plays. You can’t assume things based on gender. And is anyone even doing that? What the hell was his point with that manager comment? I’m going to stay up all night trying to figure this one out.
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Lets Try New COKE ULTIMATE – Newt Wallen
So we’ve got PVC Bondage Guy wearing a tube top. Believe me, you don’t want this. PVC Bondage Guy, please put some clothes on. This is not flattering. We do not want to your gut or your…god, how can I be honest but also tactful when describing this man’s breasts? We just don’t want to see them. All right? Can you dress more sensibly in the future? There’s a way to present yourself in an alluring fashion. This is not it.
You know what would make for some good “content”? A makeover video for PVC Bondage Guy. Get rid of that disgusting eye makeup. Do a tasteful makeup job on him. Put her in a nice pink sundress. And do something with her fucking hair. I know that it’s thin and stringy but the length is good. She has long hair. There must be something interesting that can be done with it. Giving her a shower would probably help too.
0:00 – Newt says that he got the idea for this video from Profesor Macabro. This is some lunatic who presumably follows Newt on Twitter or whatever. He posts a video almost every day and it’s him in a rubber mask.
0:15 – Newt doesn’t know what League of Legends is so PVC Bondage Guy explains it.
0:30 – Newt says that Raid Shadow Legends won’t sponsor his videos. Well, it’s good to see that they have some standards at least.
0:45 – Newt doesn’t know what “XP” means. I suppose that he’s never claimed to be interested in video games.
1:00 – “I tried the trans one where it’s supposed to change and it didn’t. It just tasted like chemicals.”
What? Let me look this up.
I don’t think it’s anything to do with transgenderism. Nobody’s even saying that as a joke, that I can see. It’s just a flavour that apparently changes flavour. “Transformation”.
So this was just Newt making an inappropriate “joke” about transgenderism around PVC Bondage Guy, who we all know is “transmasc”. Whatever that is.
1:15 – Newt puts the beverage right under his nose and smells it. You might think, “Well, who really cares?” There’s a reason that I’m mentioning this.
So then he takes a sip and then he hands it to PVC Bondage, who takes a sip.
“Wait…you mean PVC Bondage Guy poured it into a glass or something, right.”
No. PVC Bondage Guy drank directly from this bottle that Newt had half an inch from his nose and took a sip out of.
I don’t know what, if any, diseases can be transmitted this way but it’s still gross. And this is obviously intended to be a sign that they’re in some kind of relationship together. Because would you do with this with a stranger? Or even a friend?
Could they not easily have got two glasses? Or even one if Newt doesn’t own two glasses. Pour PVC Bondage Guy a glass and Newt can drink out of the bottle. Problem solved. Newt intentionally did it this way to send a message to Horseface that he’s fucking PVC Bondage Guy.
1:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that it tastes like blue raspberry “icees”…or something from “work”. Newt then says that PVC Bondage Guy hasn’t worked with him in four years.
Then they waffle on for a while about nothing, both PVC Bondage Guy and Newt endorse the product, and the video ends.
Some guy in the comments mentions Laffy Taffy. Yeah, I used to enjoy those. The wrappers had jokes on them, hence the name. But I also used to get long bars of taffy. I can’t remember the brand. Was it Laffy Taffy as well?
They don’t sell taffy in the UK. Not that I’ve ever seen anyway.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taffy_(candy)
“In the United Kingdom, taffy pieces are known as “chewy sweets”, “chews” or “fruit chews”[16]—the term “taffy” is not used. Popular brands of chew include Chewits and Starburst”
What? That’s not taffy. Is it? Would you consider Starburst to be taffy? There’s no way. Chewits are basically the same thing as Starburst. I think they’re made in Germany.
Oh, no. It’s a Swedish company. You usually only find Chewits in discount grocery stores. In like packs of four packages. They’re perfectly fine, though. I prefer them to Starburst.
But no, that’s not taffy. That’s just soft candy. Taffy has a different texture.
Let’s briefly check out his Twitter.
He’s referencing some “uncompleted” project that he did years ago. Any excuse to post pictures of Horseface.
Here’s a bunch of things that Newt claims he’s done in the past two years. I really don’t want to get into this.
Here’s Newt pretending that he’s a member of some kind of union. It’s just weird.
Maybe Newt should start a plagiarism union. If you want your plagiarism done right, make sure to only hire union plagiarists. All of the members have to do like online workshops to keep their plagiarism skills up to date.
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Crystal Quin’s Happy Place
I grossed myself out just writing that. But no, I’m talking about this tweet:
Just reading a book about Ted Bundy in a kooky coffee shop, coffee in hand, and carefully orchestrating the picture. That’s hot, right? That makes me quirky and interesting doesn’t it?
No, Horseface. To the contrary. It makes you appear dull and dimwitted.
Horseface is all about the promotion of murderers, though. Isn’t that wacky and not at all offensive?
Maybe she’s trying to get a better understanding of herself, Ted Bundy of course also being an extreme narcissist.
Whoa. That’s sexy, right? Horseface is in a modestly-priced hotel chain. And she’s wearing half a top.
It’s so fucking desperate. What is she hoping to achieve with any of this? A few more pennies for her Fansly shit?
Here she is, out in public, dressed like…that. Half a doily for a top and Daisy Dukes. Her cream cheese thighs on full display.
Who wants to see any of this? Other people must find this completely revolting.
She’s at something called VHS Fest, by the way. And here’s what she bought: Playboy magazines! Because Horseface likes the ladies! Or so she wants you to think because she’s under this misguided notion that men like women who like women.
I had a few Playboys that I bought in the mid to late 1990s. They suck dick. There’s like three pictorials of nude women, all cheesecake photos, and then the rest of the magazine is pretentious as fuck articles about Norman Mailer and a $7,000 table that you can buy and shit like this. Who is this for? Who are the people who want to read about Norman Mailer and reviews of $7,000 tables? The table had a chilled compartment in the centre for storing wine, by the way. And you’d press a button and the compartment would rise and you can get your bottle of wine. Okay, well, that’s something but I’m not in the market for $7,000 tables and I already have a refrigerator.
What the fuck. I’ve never seen that abortion nut Casey Hempel’s legs before and now I know why. Is that fat or muscle? I think it’s muscle because she has these scam e-books about working out. But who the fuck would want to look like that? I’m reminded of…I don’t know…Oompa Loompas for some reason. Yeah, they had the fat legs. I looked up some pictures. I was right. This is an Oompa Loompa.
Or maybe I’m thinking of when Violet Beauregarde ballooned after eating that gobstopper or whatever it was.
In any event, this looks awful. I’m sorry. I’m not out to body shame anyone but these women are presenting themselves as sex symbols. AND LOOK AT THEM! Horseface, it’s simply not possible for me to be any more flacid from looking at these pictures. Please stop.
And that Jesus nut is wearing a fanny pack. I’m going to assume that she’s doing this “ironically” because it’s some kind of 1980s nerd convention.
But god are those legs unappealing. If you want to work out and get enormous leg muscles, that’s perfectly fine. You don’t need my permission. Do whatever you want. But can you please spare the public and put some fucking proper fitting trousers on when you go outside?
And what would Jesus think about all of this? I know that he loved prostitutes but that was only in the sense of him being a forgiving kind of guy and valuing the lowest members of society. He wasn’t actively promoting prostitution.
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you.
– 1 Peter 5:5-6
Right there in the bible. Dress with humility.
This dumb bitch preaches about the bible but doesn’t have a clue what’s in there. She’s only interested in protesting outside of abortion clinics. She’s certainly not living her life according to the teachings of the bible. How many narcissists do you suppose are kicking it with Jesus? I’m wagering zero.
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
– 2 Timothy 3:1-17
It can’t be any clearer.
Here’s Horseface just wearing a bra in public. It’s fucking revolting. LOOK AT HER! THIS is a hot chick? Which part of rural Pennsylvania does THIS count as a hot chick? I never want to go to such a place.
And then she says her feet aren’t cropped out on Fansly. Who the fuck wants to see her feet? Can we get her face cropped out? There might be a market in that. Post the pictures with her face on Twitter and then say, “Hey, if you don’t want to see my face, go to Fansly instead. I crop my face out of every picture.”
I mean, seriously. We’re supposed to be jerking off to THIS:
Are you out of your fucking mind? She’s 35. Even covered in makeup, she looks 45. A 45 year old man in drag. And we’re supposed to be jerking off to this.
It boggles the mind.
Do you suppose that Horseface will ever come to the realisation that she’s not a hot chick? I mean, is she going to be 80 and still doing this? When is she going to get it? I know that she’s built her entire personality on being a hot chick so it’s difficult to abandon but…join us in the real world, Horseface. Work on your personality. Develop some healthy interests. It’s perfectly fine not to be a hot chick. I mean…you’ve been living it all of your life, you just haven’t realised it.
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WTF Wednesday Review: Debbie Does Demons – Newt Wallen
0:00 – “This movie was directed by Donald Farmer. I’m reviewing it because I am connected to it as a producer and as a segment writer.”
Really. Let’s check this out.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12391962/fullcredits/
Well, he is given credit as a writer, along with his bestie Donald Farmer who he’s mentioned before. So credit where credit is due. Newt is legitimately listed as a writer of this thing. Good for Newt.
But as for his producer credit…it’s true that he’s listed as a producer but so are, literally, about 100 other people. I suspect that this was one of those, “If you pay us $100 we’ll put your name in the credits as a producer” GoFundMe tiers.
Although, Newt does have the unique title of “segment producer.” So I don’t know. But when you’re listed with 100 other people, it really muddies the water.
The titular Debbie is played by a woman who looks like a tatted up Horseface. She also…wait what? Is this the same woman? Oh my god it is.
https://abc11.com/armed-woman-barricaded-cary-magnolia-ridge-apartment-complex-standoff/1574437/
How’s this for bad luck? Newt Wallen finally gets credit, in some way, for playing some role, in some movie, no matter how shitty is undoubtedly is, and then the leading lady goes and kills her father. That kind of puts a damper on things.
If this was a real movie, it would be pulled. Let’s say there’s a new Jennifer Lawrence movie and then she goes out and kills her father. The studio would pull the movie from theatres, it wouldn’t be on any streaming service, there would be no promotion, of course. Right? Is there any precedent for this? It just seems to me like that’s what the reaction would be.
Now I have to check the rest of the cast. How many of them are still living free?
They all seem to be women who do these little-known softcore porn movies. A lot of them seem to be in the same handful of movies as each other.
Wait…and there’s a character called Newt Wallen. But he’s not played by Newt Wallen.
Well, let’s get to the video, I guess. I’m intrigued now. There’s so much going on. Murder, desperate sluts, a character by the name of Newt Wallen. Maybe Newt explains some or all of this.
1:00 – He’s talking about doing a movie…or something…when he was working at Screenwave and Crystal Quin aka Horseface was in it and so was Tony from Hack the Movies. Newt claims that Tony was working the camera and Horseface is actually in the movie. He says that it will be released in 2024. Well, we’ll look forward to that, I guess.
Then he’s talking about some other “movie” that he filmed with Horseface and Tony.
But then Newt says that he got fired for plagiarism so Screenwave deleted the footage. The footage was supposed to go to Donald Farmer, who was the director or something.
Newt has shown footage of this before. It was some creep shot of Horseface walking in the water and Newt following right behind her, filming her ass. Literally, that was the footage. Newt even basically describes it this way.
3:30 – So Newt says when he got fired from Screenwave, he was working on another project with Fallon. This is that tatted-up old prostitute who Newt worked with for Sucks 2 Suck, which we all hope will be released as soon as possible. That shower scene that Newt teased really got my…I don’t know…penis going.
Oh, that’s the project that he was talking about. So he was working on Sucks 2 Suck as far back as when he got fired from Screenwave.
4:30 – Ryan Schott told Newt not to bother with Shark Exorcist 2 saying, “Why are you wasting your time on that? It’s just going to get made fun of.”
Well, he had a point.
So anyway, Newt filmed a scene with Fallon to make up for the scene with Horseface that Screenwave deleted. And Newt gave this footage to Donald Farmer for whatever the movie was that he was making. This then lead to Newt being offered the job on Debbie Does Demons.
Newt tells you where you can watch this shit. Spoiler: it’s not exactly any of the popular streaming platforms. It’s $40 for the “deluxe” version and about $30 for the normal one. Only 299 left in stock. Presumably 300 were made. That’s fucking hilarious. They’re blurays, by the way.
Newt says that they’re, “Selling out like crazy.”
6:00 – Newt says that he was going to do his scene with Fallon but she was unavailable. Out whoring, I guess. He also was going to do the scene with PVC Bondage Guy but “she” was in the hospital. For shame, Newt. You don’t get to decide PVC Bondage Guy’s pronouns.
So Newt had to “hand it off to someone else”. So somebody else shot this scene but Newt says that he wrote it.
6:30 – Newt says that he named the character Newt Wallen. The character is some porn producer or something. The idea sounds idiotic. I was actually tempted to buy the DVD, just to review it, but after hearing Newt’s moronic description, I’m not interested.
Oh, originally Newt was going to play the Newt character. He was going to wear the kimono that he wore in that video where he flashed the camera. I wrote about it but it was so disturbing that I don’t want to look for it.
He’s talking about the other actresses now. He’s got to talk about this woman who killed her father. She’s the fucking star of the movie.
9:00 – “Angel Bradford, I’ve not worked with her yet but we’ve talked about it.”
Newt…unless that prison allows conjugal visits, you can forget about working with her. When was she arrested? Maybe he filmed this before she was arrested because I think that it was just recently.
Wait…no, this article is from 2016. It’s the same woman, though. Her IMDB says that she’s from North Carolina and this news report is from North Carolinia. And they share identical names: Angel Nicole Bradford. And they look the same.
She must have been acquitted or did her time.
https://www.instagram.com/angelnichole.b/
There’s her Instagram. She describes herself as a model, pole dancer, fire performer, and makeup artist. She’s not on OnlyFans, interestingly enough. Oh, she’s also a “gamer”. “Murderer” is not mentioned.
Well, good for her. You know? Maybe she was acquitted by twelve men brave and true. Or maybe she’s served her time and she’s rehabilitated now. This is what makes America so great. It’s a place where you can get a second chance. And who can honestly say that they’ve never shot their father? This is why pencils have erasers.
10:30 – Newt says that Donald Farmer has already contacted Newt about making another movie. Great. Newt is really going places. We were all wrong to doubt him. All of these people in the comments saying that Newt is a fraud and his projects don’t exist…it’s right there on that weird website. You can buy the DVD yourself. Newt is listed as a writer. And as one of the 100 producers.
I’m big enough to admit that I was wrong. Newt promised us 11 or 13 projects to be released in 2023. Here’s one. It’s one more than I expected. And he still has five months to deliver the other 10 or 12.
10:45 – Donald Farmer asked Newt to get Fallon back so Newt says that he’s going to see if she wants to do it.
Well, she did already stop talking to you, Newt. But maybe now that there’s money involved again, she’ll change her mind.
11:00 – There’s some other stupid project that Donald Farmer asked Newt to write called Aliens…I don’t know…something about schoolgirls. So Newt described this as “X movie” plus “Y movie” like he always does. Everything has to be plagiarised.
13:15 – He’s talking about Shark Vampire now. I don’t even know what about. I’ve kind of tuned out. He says that it used to be Sharkula and now it’s Jasferatsu. No. Newt. My title is way better. Shark Vampire. It’s a sure fire hit.
Then Newt waffles on for a few more minutes and that’s the video.
So good for the Ideas Man. And he went the whole video without talking about having sex with dead women. That’s another achievement. He’s on a roll over here.
It’s too bad that we couldn’t see Newt’s vision where he was going to play the Newt Wallen character and PVC Bondage Guy was going to play the whore or whatever the character is. PVC Bondage Guy was in the “hospital” at the time. Uh huh. It’s important that PVC Bondage Guy gets all the help that he needs.
What the movie seems to be is a bunch of disjointed segments, all filmed by different people and then put together. I can’t help but think that this is not the way that you create a great film with a unified vision. But it’s kind of like an anthology movie, I guess. Kind of. And who doesn’t enjoy anthology movies? Everyone? Well, that’s true.
“You got something really awesome to look forward to here.”
As do you, Miss Bradford. Living life as a free woman. *Chef’s kiss*
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5 Awesome Western Games – Erin Plays
Hello, desperation. That’s some thumbnail there. She has half a box of Kleenex in there or something to make it look like she has breasts.
0:00 – “Howdy partner.”
Fuck off. Zero charisma. Zero acting ability. Zero humour.
0:15 – Cowboys of Moo Mesa. She says of the cartoon, “I don’t remember at all so don’t feel bad if you don’t either.”
Why would anybody possibly feel bad about this? At least she admits that she’s never heard of this instead of her usual lies.
0:30 – She likes the colours. Good stuff, Erin. This is what we need. Which games have good colours?
By the way, in case it needs stating, Erin have never played any of these games. I’m saying that it’s to the point where she doesn’t even play them for the videos. This is all Mike’s footage. It has to be. It looks halfway decent.
So Mike is supplying the gameplay footage (as he openly does for Cinemassacre videos) and writing this shit (as he openly does for Cinemassacre videos). All that Erin has to do is assemble a completely half-assed cosplay outfit and read the script.
0:45 – “At first, I thought this was going to be a clone of Sunset Riders.”
She’s a big Sunset Riders fan, guys. Might have played it once for some shitty Youtube video. She plays it in this one, actually. Spoiler alert.
By the way, she’s clearly implying that she only played this game recently, for the purposes of “reviewing” it in this video. But again, I don’t even think that she’s doing that much. This is Mike playing the game.
1:00 – “There’s Moo Montana, Dakota Duke, Buffalo Bill, and the Colorado Kid. Wow. How long did it take to come up with that one? Here, let me try. How about Bullahoma, Salad Dakota, Buffalovania. I could go on all day but I’d get utterly wiped out.”
Paula Poundstone, look out.
There’s no way that Mike this part of the script. This was all Erin. The names that she came up with are fucking awful, not REMOTELY funny, and have no relation to that character names. It’s just completely “random” shit. And she couldn’t even come up with four examples. She stopped at three.
None of this is funny. There’s not one person who laughed at those names. How could they? How is it even a joke?
1:30 – Erin says that enemies “hiding in a cactus” remind her of Wile E Coyote in Chariots of Fur.
You guys all know that Wile E Coyote short, right? Chariots of Fur?
Erin seems to have this bizarre idea that people know the names of the Looney Tunes shorts. No. NOBODY knows them.
Wait. And this was released in 1994? How? For what?
It was straight to video, I guess. So who even saw this? I assumed that she was talking about the classic Looney Tunes shorts that you’d see on tv. The ones from the 1930s to the 1960s or whatever. No. This is some obscure shit that NOBODY saw. Except Mike, apparently. This was clearly a Mike reference. She’s going to start talking about her fondness for Ensign Chekov next.
1:45 – “This would have been a good addition to my horror levels in non-horror games video if I had known about it.”
Eugh. This is the problem about not knowing anything about video games, isn’t Erin? You tend not to know stuff.
2:15 – Gunsmoke. She’s a big Gunsmoke fan, guys. Mike recently played this on stream, for money, by the way. What a coincidence.
3:15 – “Why were barrels such a thing? I don’t know but Westerns loved them. Regardless of whether the wooden barrels were used for grains, pickles, or whatever, the barrel that’s important here is the barrel of your gun.”
Yeah, that’s top tier wordplay, Erin/Mike. But she’s apparently baffled by barrels. And thinks that pickles were stored in them. What?
I’m thinking that it was mostly for water. For the horses. Let’s look this up.
Oh yeah. They would be used for storing alcohol. But I mean what would be the use afterwards? Because surely they’re not putting barrels of alcohol outside. There must have been a secondary use for them.
https://www.nh.gov/folklife/learning-center/traditions/cooperage.htm
According to that site, everything was stored in barrels up until the 1900s. Wet and dry items. I’ll defer to the New Hampshire government’s expertise but we’re talking about the barrels that you see outdoors in so many Western movies. Is there any historical basis for this? If so, what was in the barrels? I’m saying that it’s water for horses. Because you’re not going to leave anything valuable outside because people will take it.
Why Erin immediately thought that pickles were stores in barrels, I have no idea.
4:00 – Sunset Riders.
4:15 – She’s talking about the various ports of the game. “I first played this back in 2006 in the arcade so I’m partial to that one.”
Uh huh. She’s a big Sunset Riders fan, guys. She was just pumping quarters into that game for years. In fucking 2006. As a 20 year old. In an era where arcades long since stopped existing.
And she’s never played any of the other ports so how can she say that the arcade is her favourite version? Just more idiotic lies from Erin. And POINTLESS lies.
5:00 – Weird cadence for “gunslinger”. She put the emphasis on the wrong part of the word. She clearly has never encountered this word before Mike handed her the script.
6:00 – Shout out to the colours.
6:30 – Cowboy Kid.
She never played this. of course.
7:00 – “There’s actually a lot of little things that remind me of Zelda in this game.”
How fucking transparent is this? Tell us more, Mike.
7:30 – Wild Guns.
“Some people get this confused with Wild Arms and Sunset Riders.”
Eugh. Why would they? If they’re familiar with the games, why would they get it confused with anything?
7:45 – “We’ll be playing as Annie today because she’s wearing a lot of pink and so am I.”
Fuck off.
8:00 – “I love robots so this game grabs my attention even though I’m not that great at it.”
You’ve never played it, Erin. But tell us more about your fondness for robots. I want to hear all the details.
She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about robots. Why would she? This is a 35 year old woman.
9:45 – She describes one of those railroad things where two people pump a handle as a “minecart type thing”. Then text appears on the screen saying, “Nyaaaa it’s a HANDCAR bitch – Sincerely YouTube Commentator.”
Erin always seems to mis-read what people are going to get offended over. Nobody gives a shit that she called it a “minecart type thing” and nobody knows that it’s called a handcar. What people are upset about are the constant fucking lies in your videos.
10:45 – “There’s so many Wild West games out there: Lone Ranger, Mad Dog McCree, Wild Gunman, and even Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue.”
Fuck off.
- “I wouldn’t mind checking you for ticks”
What? This retard thinks that this is a come on? Parasite inspection?
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Minecraft with Gadget – Mike Matei
He’s up to four parts. I haven’t watched the entire 32 hours of footage just yet but I’ll give my impressions of what I have seen.
It’s Mike playing Minecraft with the assistance of Bitch Duo. Bitch Duo is some kind of super “simp” who has assisted Mike in playing games in the past. Any time Mike wants to play an online multiplayer game, Bitch Duo is the one who assists Mike.
I say “assist” as opposed to Mike playing with Bitch Duo because Mike is not playing with Bitch Duo. Bitch Duo does all of the bitch work and Mike plays the game effectively solo.
There was a stream where Bitch Duo assisted Mike in Valheim. I talk about it here:
There was another stream where Bitch Duo was helping Mike showcase some Star Trek the original series mod for some Star Trek Deep Space Nine or something game. There was a stream where Bitch Duo assisted Mike in playing Quake or something. There was some “competitive” 1v1 going on but not really. And this is not what these games are about. You need far more people but Mike only plays these games with the assistance of Bitch Duo. Why he doesn’t do a stream where he invites the horntards to join him, I have no idea. Cowardice and narcissism, presumably. He wants to be in complete control of the stream.
That’s what Mike gets with Bitch Duo. Total subservience.
Bitch Duo also designed “emotes” for Mike and Erin and I’m pretty sure that he did it for free. Bitch Duo also “subscribes” (gives money to) Mike and Erin every month. He probably gives them money in addition to that as well.
So this Minecraft stream seems to follow the pattern of the Valheim stream. They’re similar games in that you have to craft shit and build shit and fight monsters.
So while Mike is off fighting monsters and building shit, Bitch Duo is doing the bitch work of collecting resources and crafting shit. And Mike is rude and dismissive of Bitch Duo throughout. He barely acknowledges him and when he does, it’s often to say something insulting.
Mike doesn’t even have the courtesy to call Bitch Duo by his name (Duo) in this entire 32 hour stream. He just keeps referring to him as “Inspector Gadget”. Bitch Duo set his character to try to look like Inspector Gadget.
There’s a point in the game where Mike shows off the Scrooge McDuck gold pit that he’s building with Bitch Duo. We have to assume that it’s almost entirely Bitch Duo who is building all of this stuff. Most of the building seems to take place off-stream.
So a Scrooge McDuck money pit. The idea is that you make a big pit and fill it with gold. Mike did this same exact thing in the Valheim stream. It’s idiotic. I’ll get to the absurdity of Mike being obsessed with Donald Duck but first I just want to look at why it doesn’t work in-game. It takes ages to accumulate enough gold to fill this giant pit that Bitch Duo built. So they have this huge pit and like three gold bars in there.
But even if you did get enough gold, you’re not going to be able to swim in it ala Scrooge McDuck. You’re not going to be playfully spitting out gold coins. The pieces don’t really move, do they? Maybe there’s some physics involved but even if Bitch Duo played the game for the next five years, every day, and finally managed to fill that pit with gold, it would just be like ground. Nothing special would happen. I don’t think that the gold would move much at all. So what’s the point? You can just as well create that huge pit, then build a normal floor near the top of the pit, then put a layer of gold down. It would look and function the same. You don’t have to have Bitch Duo devote his life to the game to fill this up with gold.
Anyway, the whole thing is stupid. Why does he want a fucking Scrooge McDuck money pit in the first place? When he did it with Valheim I thought, “Okay. It’s something different. Let’s see if the gold actually does anything.” Spoiler: it didn’t. And they only collected a few pieces anyway.
But then he does it again for this Minecraft stream. It’s insane. Why the creepy obsession with a children’s cartoon?
There are things that I like from my childhood. Bozo (not the Bob Bell Bozo who Mike claims is from his era, who died in 1984, but Joey D’Auria). I like the Smurfs. I like Small Wonder.
How many times have I incorporated any of that stuff into video games that I’ve played? None. Zero. Who the fuck would? I’m an adult.
I never played Rimworld, for example, and said, “You know what? I’m going to create a base modelled on the Small Wonder home. Let me try to get the dimensions of the living room right and the kitchen and the bedrooms and the bathroom. I’ll need three human colonists, representing Ted, Joan, and Jamie, and a scyther robot to represent Vicky. Ted will be the mechanitor, of course. Maybe I’ll add the Brindle’s house next door. The Bridles will be Pigskin xenotypes. And then I’ll just sit there and jack off to this all day.”
It’s never happened. I’ve never even considered it.
But Mike is there with Bitch Duo re-creating his weird childhood fantasies in video games all day, on stream, for money.
And why the obsession with Donald Duck anyway? Carl Barks was not a popular figure in the 1980s. Donald Duck was not popular in the 1980s. I know that Duck Tales existed and it was fairly popular but it wasn’t huge and Mike didn’t even like Duck Tales. He was apparently reading the Carl Barks comic books from the 1950s.
Let me look this up. Maybe they were great. I don’t know. Maybe he got some reprints as a kid or some kind of collection.
I found a copy of Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck: Bear Mountain Tales from 1947. First appearance of Scrooge McDuck. By the master himself, Carl Barks. I don’t know if he wrote it or drew it or both.
Okay, so I read the first two pages and then just skimmed the rest. It’s clearly written for children. The story is not deep by any means. It’s extremely simplistic. And the art didn’t impress me.
I know that there were limitations in what can be done with the art given the print quality of the time and the small size of the panels. Maybe this is better than other comics of the era. But reading it now, I didn’t see anything extraordinary.
Did this inspire me to read the collected works of Carl Barks? No. These comics are CLEARLY for young children. You’re not going to get any deep story out of this. I didn’t find it funny either. The only thing that I found remotely interesting was the olde tyme references like eating tripe for Christmas and some language that isn’t really used any more.
But Mike promotes these comics in every other stream. Believe me, if you’re over the age of seven, don’t bother with these comics. I’m sure that they’re fine for young children but there’s very little enjoyment to be had with these comics if you’re old enough to tie your own shoes.
So Mike makes a money pit based on these comics in every online game that he plays. Or at least he makes Bitch Duo make such a pit. It’s idiotic beyond belief.
Let’s check out his Twitter.
Oh, he’s promoting Erin’s new video. Western games. There’s a picture of Cowboys of Moo Mesa. Erin is a big Cowboys of Moo Mesa fan. And the screenshot shows Erin in her pink cowboy hat and tight pink top and 1980s jean jacket that she really enjoys wearing. This is totally what a 35 year old woman wants to do with her life. And Mike is promoting this desperate shit.
Oh, it seems that Mike basically only tweets when he’s promoting Erin’s videos. I see. Well, that’s his role in all of this. Erin provides the buttsex and in turn Mike provides the promotion. The promotion definitely isn’t working. Erin’s videos just get fewer and fewer views. But is the buttsex working? We don’t know. Mike apparently finds this arrangement agreeable.
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Opening a pack of Star Wars Attack of the Clones cards – Newt Wallen
Alright, Ideas Man. Let’s see your…Star Wars cards. This should be riveting stuff.
Before we begin, are any of these cards worth anything? Let me look this up.
There’s guy selling them for £1 each, he has all of the cards, but I’m not sure it’s the same cards or a UK variant or what.
You can get a box of these cards for $50. So no, these aren’t worth anything. That’s probably LESS than what a box cost new in 2002.
There appear to be 10 chase cards, they’re foil cards, and you get one per pack. So with 36 packs to a box, you’ll surely get the entire set, including the chase cards. There’s also only like 100 cards total in the full set. So this sucks ass. I wouldn’t buy this shit.
I used to buy boxes of comic book cards and open them all. It was fun, I guess. Didn’t really get anything that I could retire off of. But a set with 100 cards, including the 10 chase cards? Fuck no. There’s no way that I would spend my money on that.
I got a box of Lady Death cards and I got the rarest card in the set: the mystery chase card. It’s $15 on Ebay. Let the good times roll.
Fuck, I don’t even know. I got some DC cards from like 1992. I got some Spider-Man cards. I got some Marvel cards by Hildebrant or somebody. Whoever that is. And there were some others. This stuff might not even exist any more. But according to Ebay, none of it is worth anything anyway.
Of course, there’s also my Rob Liefeld autograph card from X-Force. Four hundred big ones on Ebay. Nobody’s buying, though. “Rare” indeed. I think only 100 were made. Assume mine still exists, I should get it slabbed and graded.
Anyway, fucking Ideas Man over here and his worthless cards.
He found these cards while he was moving but doesn’t know where he got them from.
He talks about how great movie cards used to be. No. They were always shit.
He has three packs and he’s going to make three videos out of this. No. I’m not fucking reviewing three videos where he’s opening these shitty cards.
Oh my god. Now he’s reading the cards. This is awful. I don’t want to watch this.
I can’t. I actually have to stop the video. I decided to go with this video because it was only eight minutes and I’ve been busy today so didn’t want to spend a lot of time writing something. But no. I can’t do it. Eight minutes is too long for this. I made it to 4:30. That’s it. I don’t care about the movie. I certainly don’t care about the cards.
Fucking Star Wars. It was before my time. I didn’t have the toys or any of that shit. All I had was a Star Wars character who was like a soldier and I only got him because he kind of fit in with the GI Joes that I had. But it was just this stiff-armed retard in amongst the much more mobile GI Joes.
Oh, I found him. Rebel Commando is the character name. Now to see if I can retire.
About $35 with the rifle. I don’t think that I have the rifle. There goes that idea.
Well, at least Newt didn’t talk about fucking dead women up the ass in this video. Presumably. I didn’t watch the whole thing.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei Stream ATARI 2600 Games! (Part 3 of 3)
51:30 – Erin says, “I don’t think I like Smurfs.”
She’s never seen it before. Of course. It was before her time and even if it wasn’t, she still wouldn’t have seen it. But why the ambiguity? If you haven’t seen something, you don’t have any opinion on it. Erin doesn’t seem to understand this basic concept.
Oh. Then she says that Snorks are better. Another cartoon before her time. So she’s pretending to like the Snorks now, despite the fact that she hasn’t seen any of this and knows nothing about it.
It’s just completely insane. Why does she do this? Why pretend that you’ve seen children’s cartoons that were cancelled before you were born? What is achieved by pretending to have these fake interests?
52:00 – Erin points out the the game says Coleco. That’s because it’s a Coleco game, Erin. This isn’t hard to understand.
I had a friend who had a Colecovision. He didn’t have an Atari. And I don’t think that he ever got a Nintendo or any of that shit, which is weird. I didn’t either, really, but I had a PC, which was unusual back in the day. But he had a Colecovision.
And I’d go to his house sometimes and play Smurfs. It sucked. You just jump fences and I remember having difficulty with it. Dying on fences. It’s not what you want in a video game.
He also had Smurfs glasses. There was a little sticker or something of a Smurf on his glasses. He must have been big into Smurfs.
It was a weird family. Only one friend was allowed in the house at a time and he strictly enforced that. And it’s not like we were running wild. We were all well-behaved kids. His parents obviously had this rule.
And there was a police scanner in his basement. This was popular hobby, I guess, in the 1970s and 1980s. Listening to a police scanner. Maybe it was a CB radio. I don’t know. But we couldn’t touch it.
And he had Legos but not like I had Legos, all jumbled in a drawer. He just assembled the Lego car or whatever and put it on a shelf. He apparently never felt the urge to disassemble it and make something else.
There were a lot of Precious Moments figurines in the house too. His mother collected them.
He lived with his parents for a long time. Into his 30s maybe. And then he got a place with his sister. It’s weird.
Even though we were friends up until the 8th grade or so, and we’d walk to school every day, in all these years, I never asked anyone to tell me what he did for a living or what he’s up to. I never contacted him on Facebook or anything (I don’t have Facebook). And that’s weird too. I was just doing my own thing.
52:15 – “Everybody’s asking why Gargamel didn’t like the Smurfs and why he wanted to eat them.”
Well, tell us Erin. You claim to have to have watched the show enough to say that you don’t like it and that Snorks is better. Give us the lore. Tell us about Gargamel wanting to turn them into gold. It was mentioned in many, many, MANY episodes of the show.
Mike doesn’t know either. What’s wrong, Mike? I thought that you were a big Smurfs fan. This is your era. You were offended when Erin said she didn’t like the Smurfs. You don’t remember any episodes where Gargamel was trying to turn the Smurfs into gold?
53:00 – “I don’t like the Smurfs. I think Mike likes the Smurfs.”
Clearly not. Knows nothing about it. You can’t enjoy the show without knowing Gargamel’s motivation for wanting to capture the Smurfs. He was a Jewish caricature. Obsessed with money. Immoral. Big nose.
Let me look this up. I know that this gold angle wasn’t explored in every episode and sometimes it just seemed like he was chasing them for no reason but it was definitely a large part of the story, at least in the…I don’t know…second to fourth seasons. Maybe not during the Homnibus era and maybe not during the latters seasons where they had the Smurflings and definitely not during the last season with that time travel shit but in the middle there were definitely episodes where Gargamel was trying to capture Smurfs to turn them into gold. He needed seven of them, or something. A biblical reference.
https://smurfs.fandom.com/wiki/Gargamel_(character)#What_Does_He_Need_the_Smurfs_For?
Yeah. Right here. I was 100% right.
Mike is unable to jump over the first fence. So it wasn’t just me. It is difficult.
54:15 – “Look at him walk!”
Oh, it’s adorable isn’t it? This is what we’re here for. To listen to Erin point out “cute” things in games that she’s never played before and will never play again.
56:00 – Erin says, “Why is there only one girl Smurf? Because she was probably an afterthought.”
Really? That’s all you have to say? If you don’t know the answer, Erin, that’s fine. Just say, “I don’t know. I don’t know anything about the Smurfs. I was born in 1987. Is that okay with you retards? I don’t give a shit about the fucking Smurfs.”
Cool. It’s no problem, Erin. The problem is the constant lies.
Gargamel, of course, created Smurfette as a way to infiltrate the Smurf village and lead them all to his castle. Or something. I don’t know the plan exactly. But she started off with black hair and then when her heart was opened to the overwhelming love that she found in the Smurf village, she became a true Smurf and her hair turned into a sexy blonde.
And later, there was also Sassette. So there’s not just one female Smurf. Wasn’t there also a grandma Smurf? I know that there was a grandpa Smurf with that long beard and yellow hat. He came along in one of the later seasons. But was there a grandma too? I don’t know. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to know everything about the Smurfs. But don’t make shit up.
Then Mike makes the obvious sex joke about Smurfette getting gangbanged by the Smurfs but he thinks that there’s 150 Smurfs. No, you fucking idiot. Traditionally, the number was 100. It was said many times during the course of the show. It must have been because I know for a fact that 100 was the number given as the number of Smurfs. Later, they obviously added new Smurfs, which changed the number, but 100 is the canon population of the Smurf village.
59:00 – Erin says, “Do the loops get harder? Probably not.”
This despite the fact that she watched the entire second loop, which was clearly harder, and Mike mentioned this several times. She must not know what a “loop” is. She’s a fucking moron.
59:45 – Mike starts waxing idiotic about how great it was in the “early 80s” that we had Rainbow Brite, the Smurfs, and He-Man. Mike was born in 1980. How can he possibly remember the early 1980s? He’s a fucking clown.
1:01:00 – Erin asks Mike if he wants to play more Carnival. Erin loves that game. She’s “addicted” to it. Despite the fact that she obviously knew absolutely nothing about the game and never played it before. But now she’s all about it. She doesn’t want to play one of the other 500 games on the Atari. She just wants to keep playing Carnival.
You know what? That’s enough for me. We can stop here. I can’t watch this shit any more. We got the Smurfs. We got my story about my weird neighbour. That’s good enough. I’m not going to fucking watch them play Carnival AGAIN and have Erin pretend to be remotely interested in this shit.
The video will be about that fucking fishing game that she played, on stream, for money, and then never again. She’s a big Fishing Duel fan, or whatever it was called.
Riveting stuff, Erin. What a unique and fulfilling life that you’ve lead.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei Stream ATARI 2600 Games! (Part 2 of 3)
22:45 – So they’re starting Circus Atari. One of the horntards asks, “Do you ever go on any of the carnival rides?” Erin says, “Not…usually.”
You don’t say. Erin not doing something? I refuse to believe it.
23:15 – Erin, who spent the last ten seconds making “boing” noises, said, “This is great. Shit like this is fun. It’s addicting.”
She’s never played the game before. Not once. But she finds it “addicting.”
Then Mike says, “I don’t know how to get him to go higher.”
What a fucking doofus. I guess that Mike “forgot” how to play Circus Atari. The height is determined by how far to the side the guy lands. So you want the guy to land on the very edge of the seesaw thing to get him to go higher.
I used to play this game all the time, by the way. It was great. It seems like Mike also “forgot” that if you press the button, the man will go to the other side of the seesaw.
Then a horntard says exactly this, about how you have to hit the end of the thing, and Mike says, “Oh, you have to hit the end? I forget. I haven’t played this in a while.”
Uh huh. Fuck off. Some kind of video game dementia settling into the Matei household.
24:45 – A horntard asks if they’re using original paddles or some remakes. Erin didn’t even know. She couldn’t answer this. She had to ask Mike.
25:15 –
Mike: Why do I play games other than this?
Erin: That’s how I felt playing Carnival.
Oh…fucking fuck off, you fucking dumb bitch.
“It’s such an abrasive sound.”
Fucking piece of shit moron.
25:30 – So now Erin is playing. “I’m nervous.”
Why? You’re surely a pro at this game. Or did you “forget” how to play it too?
She missed the first fucking jump.
26:00 – “It’s harder than it looks.”
It really isn’t. But Erin certainly makes the game look exceptionally hard.
27:00 – Erin says that she “forgot” to flip the seesaw.
“I can’t play this.”
Well, for once she’s not lying. This is the worst Circus Atari footage ever recorded.
28:15 – She’s showing an “emote” that ShiShi made. It’s an “emote” of Erin that says “FML” and she explains to Mike that this stands for “fuck my life.”
Let’s just move on.
29:15 – They’re playing Fishing Derby. It’s a two-player fishing game. And Erin just stares at the screen and says, “How are you making it go down?” Mike says, “Press down.”
What a fucking moron.
30:30 – “Okay, I think I like Fishing Derby. This is fun.”
Fuck off.
31:30 – “I should do videos on these games that I like.”
Die in a fire.
32:15 – Erin is talking about videos that she made on Atari games. She gives He-Man as an example. Mike says “That was Intellivision.”
Erin “forgot” that it was on Intellivision.
33:30 – Erin says that she’s never been fishing. God fucking damn it. You name it and she’s never done it.
Fishing was a popular pastime when I was a kid. And I didn’t live in Mayberry. I lived in a city. Not a big city. It was like a suburban area. It was a dump. But kids would go fishing in these shitty lakes nearby. Lakes that were grossly polluted and the dumping grounds for murders. I’d go ocassionally with a friend and you’d see drunk complete scumbag adults fishing as well with their shirts off.
You’d be completely insane to eat anything out of these lakes.
Some people also had parents who owned boats. So they’d go fishing with their fathers on the boat. On nicer lakes.
We’d sometimes go on vacation to some cabins out in the woods. There would be a lake there and I’d go fishing with my father on a little boat. I could never remove the fish from the hook. My father would have to do that. Even now I couldn’t do it so I appreciate the disgusting nature of fishing but it’s something that I think most people have done. I know that Erin is from fabulous Los Angeles but…what has she done? Nothing.
There was another vacation where we went to a carp farm. And you were able to fish in this carp farm. It was just a pool with a bunch of carp in it. And you’d very quickly catch a fish and the woman who worked there would take the carp, remove it from the hook, and beat it over the head with a club until it stopped moving.
It wasn’t a traumatic event but looking back, why wasn’t it? What the fuck was that place? Why did a carp farm even have fishing? This isn’t what carp farming is. And why would anybody want to catch their own fish this way? This isn’t sporting. It’s just a pool of hungry fish. You catch a fish within minutes.
And what did we even do with the fish? I don’t know. I don’t fucking eat fish. I never have. Maybe the rest of the family ate them. I don’t know. But that’s fucked up. Some woman just beating fish to death. I know that that’s the job of a carp farmer (I guess) but why bring tourists into this? Are abattoirs popular tourist destinations?
Back to Miss Plays.
Erin writes down Fishing Derby. She wants to make a Youtube video on this. Great! What a gamer!
35:00 – They’re playing Real Sports Volleyball. Mike won the first game 15-0. Unbelievable.
41:00 – The second game was more competitive. Mike won 20-19. I don’t even think he particularly was trying to throw the game. He seemed determined to win. Kind of sad that he felt the need to curb stomp Erin in Real Sports Volleball.
At some point around the 46 minute mark they started talking about a Mr Rogers episode that they recently watched and found disturbing. Why are they watching Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood? How fucking creepy is that? Two middle aged people watching a show for pre-schoolers.
50:15 – Mike asks Erin if she ever ate “ice cream cone cereal”. She says, “No, I wasn’t alive for that.” Mike says, “See, I’m old so I ate that.”
What the hell is he talking about? Ice cream cone cereal? Let me look this up.
https://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal_detail.asp?id=207
Introduced in 1987. Well, the year checks out but no, I’ve never seen this. Never heard of it.
Here’s a cereal story for you. For the past two weeks, I’ve been eating a bowl of Fruit & Fibre every day. On the box, it says “fuels a healthy gut” and there’s a picture of intestines or something. I’m not even making this up. It’s disgusting. Why would they put that on that box of cereal?
By the way, in the UK there are a lot of references to “gut” and they’re talking about poop. Like there was a yogurt commercial that always played and it was the same thing about having a healthy “gut”. I don’t think that they use this term in the US in this sense and certainly not in relation to marketing food. It’s fucking gross. The marketing geniuses in the US have more sense than this.
But gross or not, it’s accurate. My stool is straight up liquid now. Whether this is healthy or not, I’m not actually sure but I can confirm that the fiber or “fibre” is certainly doing something in my “gut”.
Fucking scumbag marketers. Worry about your own poop. Don’t put that on the fucking box as a selling point.
Anyway, I’m stopping at 51:15. A horntard suggested that Erin make a video of Atari games based on cartoons or comics. So they’re about to play Smurfs. It’s Mike’s suggestion, of course. Erin has no idea what the games on Atari are.