My Godzilla 1998 Merch Collection! (Bonus Podcast Update)

0:00 – “Yes, the channel. We got it monetised.”

Bring in the pennies.

He says that the podcast is coming back in September with a new episode every other week. Don’t fucking promise anything. Just get it done. We’ll figure out the schedule or lack thereof.

0:45 – He says that it will be live and promises “audience engagement”. You know that’s going to be awful.

Has anybody EVER had anything interesting to say about ANYTHING? You look at like radio call in shows. You get some nervous yokel who can barely spit out their question and it’s always fucking idiotic. Or I would see this on the Donahue talk show from the 1980s and 1990s. He had a call in segment. Always awful. Or C-SPAN had a call-in show and there would be some nut job talking about how Hitler created the autobahn system so highways are evil. That was an actual call. It’s never good.

Plus, I mean, come on. Who’s watching these Godzilla podcasts? This got 1,600 views after a week. How many of those 1,600 are going to…well, he’s probably not taking calls. But maybe he is. But even if we limit this to chat, how many people are going to be in the chat?

By the way, I’m at the 8 minute mark and all he’s doing is showing Godzilla (1998) DVDs and the video tape that he has.

12:45 – For reasons that aren’t clear to anyone, Johanna says that Tony is homophobic and sexist. She goes on to say, “I’m trying to think of minority groups that I’m in that I can just be like, ‘You’re an asshole.'”

So…Johanna…who’s engaged to a man…is gay? Is this what we’re supposed to believe?

I think what she’s doing is pretending to be “bi” because she thinks that this is 1994 when that was still considered risque and hot (for women, anyway). It’s the same thing that Horseface does. Newsflash, ladies: it’s not remotely risque or hot.

And she has absolutely no charisma. Can’t have a conversation. It’s PAINFUL. And I feel bad saying this but it’s true.

13:30 – Johanna proposes that she’s going to start her own podcast where she talks about Star Wars. She goes on to say that she’ll get hate comments because she’s a woman and people will say that she doesn’t know anything about Star Wars. And she makes this comment right after she said something incorrect about Star Wars that Tony had to correct her about.

It begs the question what is Johanna actually interested in to the point where she can have a podcast? Because it has to be something that she knows a lot about. Is there anything?

It’s not a moral failing if there isn’t anything. I’m trying to think what I could do a podcast on. Do I know anything to a nerdy degree?

I watched a lot of Mystery Science Theater 3000 but it’s been years since I’ve seen an episode. And I never even watched them all. I gave up the second year after they moved to the Sci-Fi Channel. And I certainly didn’t watch the AWFUL reboot a few years ago. I mean, I tried but I failed. Couldn’t even get through one episode. Then wasn’t it rebooted again recently?

So no, I can’t do Mystery Science Theater 3000. Because then you also have to know about the actors in the show and you have to know about the movies that they watched and all of this shit. There are plenty of nerds who know more about the show than I do and I’d quickly get called out, “This guy doesn’t know anything Mystery Science Theater 3000. He doesn’t even know what year Joel Hodgson appeared on the David Letterman show” or whatever.

Fire Pro Wrestling? I know a lot about the Fire Pro Wrestling series of games. The appeal of such a podcast would be close to zero, though.

I could do a podcast on Erin Plays, I guess. What a massive fraud she is. I think that I’m the world’s pre-eminent expert on this topic.

So I guess my point is that not everybody has extreme, autistic interests. And I think that you need this sort of deep, autistic interest to do a podcast. You can’t just wing it. Because we see what happens when you wing it. You get Johanna stumbling through a podcast about Godzilla. Or about a movie that she doesn’t give a fuck about. It’s not enough to have a passing interest in this stuff. You have to be committed. You have to come in being an expert on this shit.

If you’re not an expert, that’s fine. That’s normal. Normal people don’t devote their lives to Godzilla. But then just do something else with your time because if I want to hear some casual Godzilla fan’s ill-informed, incoherent opinions on one of the movies, I can just have an internal monologue about Godzilla. People go to a podcast expecting a certain level of expertise on the subject matter.

So that’s the video. They waffle on. I wasn’t really listening for the last ten minutes or so.

6 thoughts on “My Godzilla 1998 Merch Collection! (Bonus Podcast Update)

  1. The one thing I remember from Godzilla, nobody called it “98” at the time, is that everyone universally hated it. But I remember Blue Öyster Cult being mad their Godzilla song wasn’t in the movie so they made a parody of their own song “Nozilla” about how the song isn’t in the movie, how the songs in the movie suck shit and how the movie is complete shit.

    If they talk about that, then that’s worth listening to. Because that is cool and interesting and you don’t hear that from “podcasts” at all. Just a bullet list of buzzwords, talking points and ad reads all designed force “engagement” and make money. Pennies that it is. So eat a dick Tony. Johanna, eat a pussy but only when someone is watching.

    As for reboots, they exist solely for retards who missed the boat the first time around and want to feel special and included on something that was unique, maybe underground at the time, but is over and done with. The magic can never come back. So I refuse to watch those things. You watched MST3K first run! Awesome. Me too. I saw the movie in the theater. I wouldn’t watch a new episode of that shit for a billion dollars.

    1. I did watch MST3K. And I was a member of the fan club. They’d send a newsletter every three months or something along with a little one or two page “catalogue”. I bought some of their shit. I had a decal sticker that I put on my car of the logo. And I bought a little pamphlet that told you how to make the robots but it was way too complicated and you needed very specific parts. I tried to make one of those little nanites or whatever out of a VCR tape but I didn’t get far.

      I also spent $5 on an “activity page” or something that promised an “action figure”. All this was was a drawing of Tom Servo that you had to cut out, loop it so it forms a cone, and then put a marble under it so that it moves. Total dogshit. I felt completely ripped off. Five bucks for a piece of paper?

      Oh, I also bought the CDs Clowns in the Sky and Clowns in the Sky II. The first one was good, it had music from seasons 1-7 or something but the second only only had music from seasons 7 and 8. They ran out of material. I sold that CD of the first Clowns in the Sky in the fairly early days of Ebay for like $40 which was crazy because you could still buy it new from Best Brains for $15. So I took the $40 and bought a new copy of the CD.

      Also, Napster was around at this time and you could get the songs from there. Certainly, I ripped the music from the CD and was sharing them. I don’t know how many people downloaded, though. Maybe nobody. I was on dialup.

      But there wasn’t actually much worth buying from this tiny “catalogue”. They had t-shirts and shit too. So yeah, I got a t-shirt with the logo on it as well.

      Then when the show ended there was that auction and I wanted to get something but I was like 20 years old maybe and didn’t have money. I saw some robots who appeared in one episode in a Reddit thread a couple of years ago and it was all beat up and destroyed. It’s a shame. That stuff belongs in a museum.

      1. I had the episode guide but it only went up to 1995 or something. I remember in the early days of Comedy Central that was the only show they ever played besides old SNL. They always did a marathon on April 15th called death and taxes.

  2. Oh God. Unwatchable. Can’t listen either.
    Do you know what I hated the most? The woman’s voice. She has the traditional fat woman pitch. I can hear her fatness.

    And also the fact that she just reacts. For the few minutes that I managed to watch this, all she does is spit out monosyllables.

    Not that the guy is super eloquent.

    I did take a course for podcast creators. It was sponsored by Spotify and all. One of the key takeaways was: “Do not base your podcast on a topic. Base it on a format “.

    They said that if you just use a topic, you will quickly run out of things to say. For example, if this blog was exclusively about Erin and her infamous NES sports video. Of course, there are a lot of things to say about it, but it’s finite.
    On the other hand, choosing a format provides more material to discuss. One of the formats in this blog is the analysis of fat bearded man-boys and how their need for attention and validation is channeled through the creation of empty, derivative content that (in their mind) will let them belong to a social group, while in real life, they are completely alone and unwilling to accept reality.
    And we have no shortage of that.

    So the blog could just go forever and never run out of things to write about.

    1. Yeah, I always feel bad commenting on people’s poor communication skills and I know that I would be even worse in these situations but…just do something else. Every charisma blackhole doesn’t have to have their own podcast or Youtube channel.

  3. speaking of charisma backholes, Newt has another WTF wed review where he is filming and obviously working at the movie theater while doing this. He also admits to using Wikipedia for his research and at this point should just go full plagerist and just be open about and in your face. I think people might not like it, but they would have to respect it.

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