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Revealing Our Top Video-Game Crushes – Zap Cristal
It starts with a PAINFULLY uncomfortable exchange between Zap and Mr Wright Way II where Zap talks about wanting to make a confession and Mr Wright Way II gets increasingly aggressive in his speech as Zap gets increasingly nervous. They’re talking about their video game “crushes” but it’s being suggested that she’s going to talk about cheating on him or something.
This is all worrying knowing Zap’s preference for aggressive, controlling black men. She claims that the original Mr Wright Way was controlling and aggressive. She claims that other men she may or may not have been married to were controlling and aggressive to the point where they tried to kill her. And now she’s “joking” about this with this current black man who’s she’s married to who may or may not be controlling and aggressive.
This is comedy in her mind? Making light of domestic abuse?
3:00 – So Mr Wright Way II says that he wants to have sex with Lara Croft. Or possibly wants to be in an aggressive and controlling relationship with her. Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal also wants to have sex with Lara Croft.
Guys…I don’t think that Lara Croft is interested in either of you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she can do way better than you two losers.
These are BORING. Spend some fucking time on this shit.
I think I’d go with Zonk, from Air Zonk, when he morphs with Moo Moo but only in the Japanese version, not the censored American version.
She/he shoots milk out of his/her cybernetic tits/udders. I’m all about that.
3:15 – Mr Wright Way II cites Lara Croft’s ability to shoot and stab people as character traits that he finds appealing. This is really getting disturbing.
And this fucking loud music. It’s awful.
4:15 – Zap picks Connor from Assassin’s Creed. Whoever that is.
Oh. It’s a white guy. Come on. Who are you kidding with this?
She should have picked Big Smoke from Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. That seems to be her type.
6:45 – Mr Wright Way II starts talking about how hot mixed race people are. Creepy.
7:15 – Bayonetta is Mr Wright Way II’s second pick. I don’t know who this is either. I’m all about the PC Master Race.
8:30 – He starts talking about his fondness for this character because she knows how to shoot. Again with this?
My Air Zonk example was obvious and, in the scheme of things, totally normal. A ladyboy cyborg who shoots milk out of his/her tits. The sexual appeal of this is clear.
I didn’t get into the, “Oh, I really like how Moo Moo/Air Zonk would be able able to kill people” because I’m not a psychopath. If Moo Moo/Air Zonk was with me, his/her killing days would be over. I’d be too busy enjoying those robotic tits, getting soaked in milk. He/she wouldn’t have time to continue his/her mission of saving the planet.
10:00 – Super creep show shit from Mr Wright Way II about how women are “sexual beings” and they shouldn’t be ashamed to “cover their curves”. He’s talking about a video game character.
11:30 – Zap’s second choice is Heisenberg from Resident Evil.
No. I’m rejecting all of this.
This is a woman who married a series of black men and yet both of her choices were white men.
Who would be some Hispanic video game characters who Mr Wright Way II could choose? I’m struggling to think of any Hispanic video game characters. Let me DuckDuckGo this.
Oh, Carmen Sandiego. I guess. I never really thought of her as Hispanic but the name seems to suggest as much.
Maya from Killer Instinct. Yeah, I’d give her some loving.
So let me skip ahead in this god awful podcast.
They still seem to be talking about this shit at the 40 minute mark.
1:00:00 – “If you’ve been enjoying this podcast, if you’re a fan of the Reset and Zap podcast.”
Come on. She’s literally addressing an audience of zero.
Then she shills for Mr Wright Way II’s “album”. It’s the music that LOUDLY plays in the background of every podcast. That was the whole point of inserting this music even though it MASSIVELY takes away from an already awful podcast.
Nobody is watching this podcast. People hate it like poison. She used to get maybe 5,000 to 10,000 views on average for her videos. Now that she switched over to the podcast format, she gets about 500 – 1000. She lost 90% of her audience. I’m the only one watching this. You’re the only one reading this.
The original Mr Wright Way really dodged a bullet with this lunatic.
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WTF Wednesday Review: HEBEGB TV – Newt Wallen
I wonder why this video got so many views. It’s at nearly 5,000 views and most of his recent WTF Wednesday videos are only at about 2,000. And they had whores in them. Whores bring in the views, or so you would think.
But this one is just The Ideas Man. What even is this that he’s talking about? Some “movie” I guess that’s so non-noteworthy that there’s almost no information about it on the whole of the internet.
0:00 – “It is November 1 so you fuckers better have paid your rent.”
Is rent due on the first of the month in the US? I only rented one place in the US and I don’t remember how it worked. But certainly in the UK, from all of my experience, rent is due on whatever the day is that you moved in.
Why is Newt still renting anyway? He’s lived in the Pennsylvania, rural or otherwise, for many years. And he’s from there. Is he planning on moving any time soon?
I regret not buying a place. I kept thinking, “I’m going to leave the country any day now” but it’s been 20 years.
And even if I did move, it’s not like the money you spent on the property just disappears. You can sell it. And chances are the the price of the property has gone up since you bought it.
I was going to buy a place shortly after covid. You need a lawyer but the lawyer doesn’t get paid unless the sale goes through.
There was a particular housing development that I liked. I lived in a couple of properties in this development and I noticed that they went on sale every few months and it was within my budget.
This law firm pawns me off to a paralegal, by the way. I didn’t have a lot of questions but I had a couple. I never bought a property before.
So I view the property and it looked fine. But I told the paralegal that I don’t really know what I was supposed to be looking for. Should I have brought a handman with me or what? And she said, “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” Oh.
So I did some research online. I looked at recent sale prices of properties in this development. And I gave her a figure in line with these recent sales and asked if that would be a reasonable first offer. She said, “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” Oh.
Every single question came back with “It’s a matter for you. What do you want to do?” YOU’RE THERE TO GIVE ADVICE, YOU DUMB BITCH. YOU DON’T GET PAID UNLESS THE SALE GOES THROUGH.
She uses some legal term that I’ve never seen before so I asked her to clarify what she meant. No response. So I just DuckDuckGo’d it and had to guess what she was talking about.
I make an offer and the offer was rejected. The seller said that they’re going to set a deadline for final offers in a week.
I said fuck it. I’m done with this. You have this completely incompetent paralegal who refuses to do ANYTHING. Just give some advice from your years of experience of purchasing property, you fucking cretin.
The day before the deadline, she contacts me. “Do you want to make an offer?” I responded with one word: “No.”
There were only two people interested in the property. Me and somebody else. The winning “bid” was like £1,000 more than what I offered.
Completely useless. And then the price of properties skyrocketed right after that. I had the perfect property at a price that I could afford and this incompetent buffoon ruined it.
0:15 – “Last weekend, I was in Delaware filming”…some fucking tits and gore piece of shit that nobody is ever going to watch.
He’s describing who the big time “actors” are in this thing. “Fallon from Fallon”.
What are you talking about, Newt? Fallon from Sucks 2 Suck. Whatever happened with that movie?
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sucks2suck-completion-fund#/
Thirty-seven people donated a total of $3,100. In January 2023, they started filming. Where’s the movie?
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm14226740/
According to my favourite actress, the fat chick who appeared in a video with Fallon and Newt, the movie is “in production”.
Well, where are the updates? Where’s the official website? Can you at least say something about this on Twitter?
We were promised Fallon’s tits and a groundbreaking new take on the vampire genre. They’ve failed to deliver.
Speaking of failed projects, where’s fucking Florida Man Saves Christmas? Last I heard, he was saying it was going to be available for this Christmas. Newt…it’s November. I’m doing my Christmas shopping. Show me Florida Man Saves Christmas.
He promised it for last Christmas. And before that, he had various promised dates that came and went. This is worse than Image Comics in the 1990s.
Last I heard, he said that he wants six issues completed. What? Why? Just release one and see how it sells.
And people don’t want to buy six comics at once. The typical release schedule is once a month. For a small time operation like this, people would be content with bi-monthly or even quarterly. But it makes no fucking sense to sell six issues at all once.
Also, consider that a lot of people who buy comics are children. I’m sure that Florida Man Saves Christmas is the talk of playgrounds all over the country. They’re all eagerly awaiting for the comic to be released. But they can’t afford to buy six comics all at once. They’re saving their allowance. Five bucks a week or whatever. It’s a big investment for them.
0:45 – So Newt describes this movie, which he has no involvement with, as “A horror version of UHF with a Pee Wee Herman vibe as well.”
This is how he describes everything. “It’s this existing propertly combined with this existing property.”
His mind is hard-wired for plagiarism. He’s INCAPABLE of coming up with anything new. The so-called “Ideas Man”. Yeah, other people’s ideas.
Then he describes the movie as a billion other movies. Newt…GET ON WITH IT. Can you describe what the movie is about WITHOUT referring to other movies?
Newt went on to talk about the movie, mostly by referencing other movies. Then the video ended. I was playing a game while all of this was going on so only halfway listening. But yeah, I won’t be tracking down this piece of shit.
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THE BEST JRPG PROTAGONISTS – Pelvic Gaming
0:00 – “One of the most grandfathered assed concepts of JRPGs is the silent protagonist.”
That’s what she said, right? “Grandfathered assed”? Okay.
0:10 – Jump scare. I mean…come on.
You know what this is like? It’s like James Rolfe making a shitty movie and then saying, “Hey, come on guys. That was the whole point. I was TRYING to make a shitty movie.”
It’s his coping strategy. He knows that he can’t make a good movie so he pretends that he intentionally made a shit movie.
Pelvic Gamer is not an attractive woman. So what she does it make herself look ridiculously unattractive. Then she can say, “Hey, come on guys. That was the look that I was going for.”
And her description here is “G4m3rG1rl”. Uh huh.
0:30 – “You like my uneven space buns? Thanks.”
“Guys, I’m really unattractive but it’s INTENTIONAL. Get it?”
Okay, well you pulled that look off great. You really nailed it. In your next video, I’d like to see you looking presentable.
She won’t do it.
It’s also like fat chicks dressing as goths, I guess.
2:15 – She posts random pictures of herself with other people. One of them is her ruining a woman’s wedding by putting her hair in some preposterous “hey, look at how unattractive I am” afro.
I have to stop the video. I made it to 5:30. She says the numbers in an intentionally annoying way. Just like she makes herself look intentionally unattractive.
Yeah. I have respect for the audience. I realised that it’s just a usual boring as fuck Pelvic Gamer video and I couldn’t get anything out of it so I cut my losses.
Compare this to Tony from Hack the Movies who has no respect for either the audience or autistic orphans. He’s been putting out two hour videos lately. Two hours of Tony summarising a horror movie. Show me the person who wants to watch this.
And he has a four hour compilation video where he summarises the Halloween movies while Horseface talks about hot chicks. What is this? Why would anybody want to watch this? People are putting this on for their Halloween parties? “Come on, guys, let’s watch four hours of a fat man and a horse-faced woman summarising movies. That will really put us in the evil Halloween spirit.”
This guy quit his job for THIS. This trash that manages to be both perverted and totally boring.
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The Addams Family on Super Nintendo – Erin Plays
She’s wearing a Mortia costume…I guess? A black wig and a black top. This can be any number of people. Maybe it’s Cher. I don’t know. Without the context of this being an Addams Family you would never in a million years guess that this is Morticia.
Speaking of Cher, I’ll tell you what would be a good costume: Florence Dennis. And Horseface can join Erin as Rocky Dennis.
Horseface is really great. Because I would never dream of saying such cruel things about a normal person even if I didn’t like them. But Horseface is so detestable, such an irredeemably awful person, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, that I can say whatever I want and not feel even slightly bad about it.
0:00 – “Today on Erin Plays, I have a game that you’ll just die for.”
Did Morticia even say puns like this? I’ve never seen the show. This seems like an Elvira thing. Maybe Morticia did it as well. I don’t know.
She’s never played the game before. Of course. But, as ever, she’s giving the impression that she has. This makes for a very uncomfortable viewing experience.
1:00 – She says that she’s watched playthroughs of this game. Well…I mean…it’s no substitue for playing the game yourself like a normal person but I guess it’s better than going through the game totally blind, which is what she normally does.
2:30 – “Look at these heads.”
What about them?
She says stuff like this all the time. Stuff that doesn’t go anywhere and nobody cares about. Absolute negative charisma.
5:45 – “There’s a worm and an apple down there? That’s so cute.”
I want to know who the person who’s watching these videos and genuinely enjoying them. I don’t mean Joe from Gamesack who’s jerking off over this stuff. I mean somebody watching this trash with their pants fully around their waist.
8:00 – It’s the worst Addams Family for the SNES footage ever recorded, by the way.
9:45 – She talks about a “cute” enemy.
God. There’s another TEN MINUTES of this shit.
12:00 – “I’m not entirely sure what the money signs do, to be honest. I should have looked that up, shouldn’t I?”
Well, that, or played the game in your spare time so you knew what they do.
14:15 – “The penguins are cute. What is that?”
This is basically the whole video. She’s pointing out cute things and saying that she doesn’t know what other things are.
16:15 – “So there’s the grandma and the kid.”
She’s a big Addams Family fan, guys. Even I know that his name is Pugsly and I’ve never seen the show.
17:30 – The worst of…anything ever recorded.
She couldn’t figure out that you’re presumably supposed to hold up as you jump to jump off of those cannon balls. Because she has no experience with video games. None. Even after doing these atrocious videos for like six years now.
18:15 – “I actually had a good time with this game.”
Oh sure. Sucking dick at a video game for 18 minutes sure looked like fun. And she had such a good time that she’ll never play it again.
Absolutely terrible video. As per usual. She’s the Cal Ripken Jr of terrible Youtube videos.
What is Cal Ripken Jr doing these days? Let me look this up.
He owns some minor league baseball teams and some “sports complexes”, whatever that is. A bunch of baseball fields.
- “You look fuckin smoking hot as Morticia <3”
Most of the comments are along these lines. I don’t get it. She put not effort whatsoever into this costume and there’s nothing remotely hot about it.
Erin should wear one of those costumes where it’s a plastic mask and a plastic smock. What are those called? There’s a name for them.
Ben Cooper. I’ve never seen that name anywhere but apparently that’s what they were called.
I had a bunch of the masks. I remember just buying them from the grocery store or whatever. Loose masks. But I never wore them for Halloween or any other occassion. They were were just an impulse purchase while at the store.
I did have a Pink Panther full costume, though. I suspect that I wore it for one Halloween when I was very young. It had the mask and the plastic smock. And then later, I decided to try it on again just for fun, and started crying because I was getting really hot and couldn’t get it off. You had to tie a knot behind the neck and I couldn’t untie it. So I started panicking. My mother came up and untied it.
But yeah, they were shit. Uncomfortable as fuck, your face would get all cut up.
Nevertheless, imagine Erin rocking one of these costumes for a video. The horntards would still talk about how hot she looks in it. And they did make a Morticia costume. Have Mike spend the $200 to buy one.
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South Park (2010s) – Monster Madness 2023 – Cinemassacre
What screams 2010s more than the 1990s hit South Park?
YOU FUCKING LAZY PIECE OF SHIT! I haven’t even owned a tv in the past 12 years but if I was going to pick a show from the 2010s, it wouldn’t be this. This fucking retard just picks the easiest fucking shit he can think of. CARTOONS. Fucking half of these episodes were CARTOONS. Cartoons from when he was a child.
It is so fucking stupid. How did Screenwave possibly greenlight this? Why didn’t they say, “Hey, James, we know how much you hate working but how about doing a live-action show that actually peaked in the decade that you’re talking about? Just try it out. We’ll help.”
0:15 – In a weepy voice he says, “This is the last installment for now. Yeah…I know. Maybe another time I’ll come back and do more Halloween tv shows because this was really fun.”
He’s saying this like we’re fucking disappointed that this is the last of his zero effort videos. No. James. Stop this. I don’t want to watch this shit. Who does? Who’s the audience for these episode recaps?
It’s not me you should be concerned about. It’s you. You’re not doing me a favour by making these shitty videos. It’s your JOB. This is how you make money. If you continue on insisting on putting out absolute shit tier videos like this, the job is going to end. Don’t you care about that? Isn’t the very real prospect of living on the street motivation for you to put some fucking effort into your videos?
2010s. South Park. That show that I watched in college in the 1990s. Fuck you.
0:45 – He’s going through his honourable mentions. Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Then he rattles off a series of children’s shows. And I mean…fucking unbelievable…he’s talking about shows for FIVE YEAR OLDS. These are shows that he watched with his children, presumably.
He mentioned one show for adults and then a series of TODDLER shows. Really? Why does he refuse to put any effort into this? Just fucking Google it. 2010s Halloween tv shows.
1:30 – He’s complaining about Tegridy Farms episodes. Isn’t this what they’ve been doing for quite some time? There’s a theme for each season? He’s says that he’s watched the show from the beginning. Wouldn’t he know this?
2:15 – He chose the episode because it’s about Blockbuster videos and the Shining. James…if you haven’t done anything since 1997, that’s fine. But then just don’t do videos where you promise to talk about the 2000s and 2010s. Because this is fucking stupid.
4:15 – “As somebody who hangs on to physical media…”
And he’s pointing to a video casette collection. But…it doesn’t exist. He’s pointing to a greenscreen. This is all greenscreened. This is completely insane.
5:30 – “In the 2006 episode Hell on Earth, in which Satan throws a big party, was a spoof of an MTV reality series My Super Sweet 16, which I never heard of, nor would ever care to watch…”
James REALLY wants you to know that he’s never even heard of My Super Sweet 16. We get it, James. You’re not watching shows about teenage girls. Who are you trying to convince? Nobody was accusing you of anything.
“No. Come on, guys. Enough messing around. I seriously don’t even know about the existence of teenage girls. It’s not something that interests me. Alright? I have a wife and family.”
James, what the hell are you doing? We were just talking about South Park here.
He also seemed REALLY offended by the weed farm storyline in South Park. James…we get it. You don’t smoke marijuana. It’s fine. You don’t have to freak out about it. Nobody cares.
6:30 – He’s saying that he’s seen people use an iPad on a skateboard (what?) “Often during covid in 2020 but let’s not dwell on that nightmare.”
James is also absolutely petrified of covid.
I’ll tell you what James was doing during covid. Smoking weed with teenage girls. You sick fuck. That’s why he’s expressing such outrage about these things. He’s trying to throw people off the track. I’m on to you, Mr Retard Man.
Then he just continues summarising the episode. Fuck this lazy shit.
Unbelieveably bad. This whole Monster Madness has been awful. All he does is summarise the episode and after the 1990s, he stopped watching tv so for 2000 and 2010 he just chose more 1990s shows. And they were fucking cartoons.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Halloween_television_specials
All James had to do was to go to that page and find something suitable. The work is already done for him. Let’s find some good 2000s and 2010s Halloween tv episodes that I think would appeal to James.
- Degrassi: The Next Generation
- Gossip Girl
- Pretty Little Liars
- Scream Queens
- The Carrie Diaries
- Gilmore Girls
- Glee
- Teen Mom
- 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter
- Sabrina the Teenage Witch
That’s a start. That should keep James busy for next year’s Monster Madness.
Mrs Nerd: James, are you still watching Gilmore Girls? Your family misses you.
James: Honey, please. I’m doing very important research for Monster Madness. This is my job. And leave those tissues there.
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WTF Wednesday Review: SON OF DRACULA (1974) – Newt Wallen
Well, another missed opportunity for this guy. Why didn’t do a rip off Monster Madness? The guy is extremely desperate for views, he’ll do anything, he’s constantly talking about subscriber numbers and whatnot, but he refuses to do something that would bring in a boatloat of new subscribers. It would be hilarious.
The videos wouldn’t even have to be good (which they wouldn’t be). The mere concept is enough. Put 31 fucking videos out where you review tits and gore movies. You can do it with your prostitute “friends”, whatever you want. It would also be a great way for Newt to get back at Screenwave and James Rolfe. Because in Newt’s mind, Newt was wrongly fired.
But no. Same old bullshit. All he really had to do was slightly repackage his usual videos and call them “Monster Hysteria” or whatever. No.
So instead, we got this shit that won’t get any views. The Ideas Man and The Gaunt Scarlet Harlot.
I’ve suggested that this woman is on meth. Somebody in the comments suggested heroin and that Newt is supplying the heroin. Something shady is clearly going on. She takes her clothes off for money. And almost certainly a prostitute. I mean…how much money is there in doing nude goth photoshoots? Is there much demand for that? And look at her. She has to pay the bills somehow. There can’t possibly be enough demand for nude goth photoshoots, especially when you look like that.
0:30 – Newt says that this was shot in early September. So he’s releasing a video from two months ago. He was just saving this one. For what? It would have been so easy to do a Monster Madness rip off.
I don’t even want to watch this. Alright? Knowing that this was filmed two months ago, what’s the fucking point?
A quick perusal of the transcript tells me that later in the video, he talks his usual creepy shit about how he gets his “friends” to do creepy shit for him for creepy movies that he’s somehow involved in. Yeah. That’s how money works, Newt. You pay people and they’ll do stuff for you. It’s not friendship. It’s a business agreement. “I’ll pay you a ham sandwich and half a bottle of Coke to do something humiliating for a ‘movie’ that nobody will ever watch.” That’s tempting when you’re spending all of your money on heroin.
Did I say “heroine” earlier? No. I’m reminded of a spelling class in the sixth grade that had “heroine” as one of the words. There were a list of words for every “unit” in the book that you would be tested on. The teacher would read the words aloud. “Heroine” was one of the words. So when she got to that word, my friend pantomimed smoking heroin which got a stern look from the teacher.
That guy was always the class champion in spelling. I wonder why. I mean, I did alright but I was never in contention. But he would go to like state competitions. His mother was putting pressure on him to do well but was he sitting at home reading the dictionary and shit like this? I wouldn’t think so but then why did he do so well?
What else…oh, The Ideas Man recently tweeted about the death of Matthew Perry. Well, he re-tweeted something from TMZ with not a single word of commentary from himself. WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT? He’s just a death-obsessed asshole.
And speaking of assholes, I read that Matthew Perry’s colon burst in 2019 due to opiod abuse. What? I don’t even want to know more about that.
Newt also re-tweeted the death of Richard Moll. He was 80 years young. And Newt actually wrote something about him this time. Nothing interesting, of course.
But yeah, Newt is really broken up about these celebrities who he’s never talked about even once in his life. People get old and die, Newt. Or their colons burst because of opiate abuse. Get over it.
It’s all just about Newt’s obsession with his own mortality. He doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about these people. “Oh, my legacy.” Your legacy is that you’re a plagiarising fuck who completely wasted his life and has done nothing but bring pain and misery to everyone you’ve ever known. You’re a depraved, pathetic, user of people. Accept it and move on.
Oh, Shaft also got a shout out. No comments from Newt, though. He’s a big Shaft fan.
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Beating Jekyll and Hyde – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) – Cinemassacre
How many times can he do a video on the same game? I’ve never found his obsession with this game funny or interesting. I’ve seen Mike beat the game, on stream, for money, and it was…whatever. It’s not a particularly good game but it’s not interesting.
0:00 – But first a word from our sponsor. This VPN splashed out for probably their 100th ad on the channel. Aren’t there diminishing returns? Anybody who’s interested in VPNs and watches the channel already knows about the service.
1:30 – It starts with some greenscreen shit of James as an old archaelogist uncovering a Jekyll and Hyde game. I fucking hate the greenscreen. Fuck the greenscreen. And these skits are never funny in any event.
2:45 – Then he’s back in the present. Probably still greenscreen, I don’t know. Everything is greenscreen with this guy. And he starts making scat “jokes”.
6:15 – The game vomits on James for some reason.
10:15 – He gets the Japanese version of the game.
By the way, he was mostly explaining how the game operates. It was fine.
13:45 – More scat “jokes”.
14:30 – One of the homos from Movie Dumpster makes a cameo. Not the faggot who’s a moderator on Reddit, though.
16:00 – Now there’s some…Back to the Future reference…and the old archaelogist James Rolfe meets present day James Rolfe but…then the archaelogist becomes a priest and it becomes an Exorcist “parody.” What the fuck is going on? Loads of green screen, of course.
16:45 – More totally uncalled for and unfunny scat “jokes”.
Then the video ends with yet more delightful green screen and a dummy being thrown down a staircase.
Gameplay by James, Sean, and Mike. Uh huh. Can we get the percentages?
The boys on Reddit really praised this episode. “Oh, look at the camera angles.”
We’re not making Mutiny on the Bounty. I don’t care about the camera angles or how many hours of green screen went into this or the fabulous “special” effects. Just make an engaging video.
This was not engaging. I didn’t find it remotely funny. It was somewhat interesting at times when he was describing the gameplay but those times were few and far between. He had to make way for these delicious skits.
And the story made no fucking sense. Elderly James Rolfe is an Indiana Jones parody, then he takes the Back to the Future car back to the present day, then he’s suddenly the priest from the Exorcist? Believe me, I didn’t leave anything out. Nothing is explained. That’s the sequence of events.
It’s always time-travel with this guy. Time-travel and poop. These are his autistic obsessions.
James is always convinced that the number of hours he puts into a video equates to how good the video is. No. We don’t want greenscreen videos that took 500 hours to edit. Forget all of that. Spend that 500 hours making a good script. Then record footage of you or Mike or whoever plays these games, playing the game and you read the script. There you go. There’s your video. No poop. No green screen. No bad CGI explosions. No convuluted nonsense about a robot who turns into a Martian who goes back in time to save the underground vampires from The Adventures of Lolo. Just come up with a decent script, you fucking retard.
Oh, some dope posted about it on my CinemassacreTruth subreddit and then deleted it when he realised his mistake.
Who are these people? I’ve never seen these names before. I assume that anyone posting there is lost and was looking for THECinemassacreTruth.
These people must be going to my sub-reddit and being really confused. “I heard about Cinemassacre Truth and how funny it is but…this is just one guy posting stuff and calling everyone gay. I must be missing something. I’ll give it a chance.”
That psycho GarbageStabber was spamming up my page recently. He must have been horny. He sometimes does this sort of thing and then expresses regret, after he cums.
So I reported him to the moderators at TheCinemassacreTruth for a clear violation of their, “No user feuds/drama” rule:
https://www.reddit.com/user/skittlesdoritos/comments/17g0rfo/mm_itb_24_tremors_1990/
Do you not consider this to be psychotic behaviour from your favourite user GarbageStabber? If you don’t, I’m happy to forward you some of the thousands of death and rape threats that he’s sent me.
I’d be curious to see those, but I’m not sure what it is that you expect from us.
Personally no, I don’t condone it, but our job is to moderate our subreddit, not follow what users do elsewhere. Even if we banned them from our sub it wouldn’t stop them from sending stuff to you, so I’m not sure why even message us.Block the accounts, report to reddit, that’s all I can suggest.
I expect you to ban a lunatic who only posts on your subreddit. You’ve repeatedly threatened to ban people who harass Newt or Kieran, for example, which takes place outside of your sub-reddit. Why be so selective in what you choose to enforce? The guy is a complete lunatic as you must be aware. And dangerous.
I’m not sure what ‘threats to ban’ you’re even referring to. We have announced rules about content posted on the sub, though I don’t think we ever threatened or banned anyone over those. But again, that’s rules about stuff in our sub.
Look, I could accuse you of the same stuff. You talk shit about like every other post anyone posts on our sub, how is that not obsessive and harassing? You’ve been reposting our stuff for what, 3-4 years now? You want to keep interacting with content that people post on our sub, so how is it not hypocritical to then expect us to ban people who go and interact with you?
And again, what would it change anyway? Block them and you’re good.
He has a thousand alts. I’ve reported all of his shit. My subreddit hasn’t even been up for two years. I cross-post posts of public interest.
GarbageStabber is known to be an obsessive lunatic who sends death and rape threats. He was undoubtedly the person who talked about Kieran’s father. He was undoubtedly the person who sent threats to Newt. He’s sent thousands to me. How on earth do you justify not banning this guy who is clearly disturbed?
I’ve not seen any proof of any of what you claim, I don’t follow random people around the internet to see what they post. He was punished for his behaviour on the sub a couple times when we deemed it necessary.
And you’re no better than him anyway. You’re evading a full redit-wide ban, and you’ve made a subreddit after Reddit banned your previous one and blocked you from creating another. And you’re actively ‘evading’ a ban from our subreddit by dedicating yours to interacting with posts in ours. Sure, it’s not technically ban evasion, but in practice you’re just using a loophole because you clearly can’t get enough of our community.
And no, don’t give me those excuses, you’re talking shit about every single thing you crosspost. It’s your choice to interact with people and make personal attacks at them. I’m not sure what your goal is, but if you’re looking for attention, don’t come expecting us to take action when you finally get it.
All that said, I would genuinely love to know why you think that crossposting random things people post and writing detailed reviews of shitty youtube videos (that almost no one will ever see) is a worthwhile use of your limited time on this earth.
“We won’t ban a clearly dangerous lunatic because you call us gay.” Interestingly, they also say that harassing Kieran and Newt in real life is not a bannable offence.
If you don’t want to be called gay, stop allowing clearly homoerotic content to be published on your catty homosexual subreddit.
I’m not “blocked” from creating a new sub-reddit, by the way. I don’t even think that that’s a thing.
You know what a normal person does when I suggest that they’re gay on Reddit? Nothing. Why would they? They either know that they’re gay so appreciate my understanding in this regard. Or they see the humour in it. Or they say, “Oh, I didn’t realise how my pictures of Kieran Photoshopped as a woman were coming across. Thanks for the information.”
What they don’t do is send thousands of death and rape threats. Only one lunatic does that. Why is this person possibly allowed to continue? The moderators all know that he’s a lunatic who does this shit. But because I call those faggots gay they don’t have a problem with it. They should be deeply ashamed of themselves for any number of reasons, running a fucking homosexual harassment board being one of them.
Anyway, GarbageStabber ended up deleting the three alts that he was using to spam that shit. He was no longer horny and afraid of getting banned. Why? Nothing happens.
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Swapping Physical Game Collecting for Emulation?! – TheGebs24
0:00 – “Will emulation take over physical game collecting?”
What year is this? I got the internet in like 1998. That’s when I learned about emulation. The first game I played was Super Punch Out on some SNES emulator. It completely blew my mind. This is a game that I’ve always wanted to play, I only played the original game, briefly, at a friend’s house, and now it’s right here on my computer. And it costs NOTHING.
Wait a minute. You’re saying every fucking game ever released from Pong to 16 bit consoles (which were then still somewhat current) is also available for free to play on my computers? Well fuck buying video games then. I’ll just spend the next three years downloading everything on my 56k modem.
You’d be an IDIOT to still buy games after learning about emulation. The stuff that’s emulated at least.
So she’s giving a list of reasons to buy games. She says that you can’t play emulated games on a CRT. What? I’ve never attempted that, because why the fuck would I want to play on some shitty old tv, but I’m confident that it’s possible.
1:30 – Controllers. She’s…I guess…suggesting that you can’t use original controllers with emulators. Of course you can. There must be adaptors for every fucking controller.
2:45 – INSTRUCTIONS? Okay, I’m stopping here. This video makes no fucking sense. You can download every fucking set of instructions ever released.
God, this is…this is the world’s dumbest woman. And I can’t listen to this fucking accent any more or look at this woman’s trucker tattoos.
Let’s check out her Twitter. I don’t think that I’ve ever done that before.
https://twitter.com/JuicyGameReview
It’s all just promoting her god awful videos.
Now what am I going to do?
As soon as I found out about emulation, I thought that I should sell all of my games. I didn’t, but that was the plan. Because who needs this shit any more? I have all of the fucking games on my computer, which is where I prefer to play them anyway.
I was thinking, “I need to sell these things really quick before other people find out about emulation. Because once word gets out about emulation, these games are going to be completely worthless.”
I didn’t realise that there are fucking autistic no-lifers out there who enjoy collecting plastic.
Look at CDs. Once rampant piracy became in vogue, people stopped buying CDs. Your CD collection became worthless overnight.
But for whatever reason, that didn’t happen with games.
I can not imagine the mentality, in 2023, where you say, “I’d really like to play Ogre Battle 64. Let me see if it’s on Ebay for a good price.”
How much is it anyway?
I’m seeing one for about £20. That’s not bad. But you know what’s better? ZERO! You can play the game right now. You don’t have to wait for it to ship. Just go to Pirate Bay or whatever, type “Ogre Battle 64” and you’re off to the races.
You can even play the games in your browser now. I don’t know about N64 games but certainly NES games. This could not be any easier.
Oh, I just looked. You can play N64 games in your browser. I mean, it’s better to download an emulator and the rom. You can use save states and go full screen and change the controls and whatever. Maybe you can do all of these things on these browser-based emulators too. But still, I’d prefer downloading everything. It’s not that difficult.
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Game Hunting in LOS ANGELES! – Retro video game stores, Super Nintendo World & Universal Studios! – Ircha Gaming
She’s going to fabulous LOS ANGELES!
If people are traveling to the US, it’s always “I’m going to fabulous New York City for some shopping” or “I’m going to fabulous Disney World” or “I’m going to fabulous Los Angeles.”
There’s a whole rest of the country. What about rural Pennyslvania? No, I’m going to be as unimaginitive as possible.
I suppose that New York is a better place to travel to because you wouldn’t need a car. I don’t know. But if you’re renting a car, you can go anywhere. Why limit yourself to those same fucking three places every god damn time.
1:00 – She talks about the food and the groceries. It’s true, going to the grocery stores is the most interesting part of traveling.
1:15 – And now a word from our sponsor. It’s TWO MINUTES LONG.
3:30 – She went to the Hollywood Wax Museum. That’s the place you go when you completely run out of stuff to do. Who gives a shit?
When I had family visiting London they wanted to see the wax museum. Well, nobody wants to see the wax museum but they came up with a list and this was on the list. They were just coming up with stuff.
So we get there. It’s fucking packed full of people. As everywhere is in fucking shithole London. And we’re slowly inching along this wax museum and they had no idea who anybody was. They were British “celebrities.”
My mother is standing in front of a statue of Boris Johnson and she says, “Do you know who this is?” And I said “Yeah, Boris Johnson.” This was before he was prime minister. He was mayor of London at the time. No idea who it was. And they had some fucking gay Olympic swimmer and shit like this. Nobody who doesn’t live in the UK and possibly nobody outside of London knows these people. It’s shit. It’s a shit museum. Why would you want to see wax sculptures of celebrities anyway?
4:15 -Then she went to that Hollywood Walk of Fame or whatever it is where they have the star with celebrities’ names on them. She found Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s star. Great stuff. Totally worth the trip. A fucking pavement tile.
Then she goes into a souvenir shop.
This is awful. She travelled from rural Norway to Los Angeles for this? To check out the souvenir shops? How much money did this trip cost?
4:45 – Then they went on a guided tour bus.
These are the world’s worst travellers. How about seeing the way that people actually live? Although, she apparently goes to Skid Row later in the video. By accident. But I’m not saying that you have to hang out with the homeless. I’m saying do normal stuff that normal people do.
5:30 – She was apparently forced to go to some place by the “sponsor” of this video. Great.
7:00 – She meets a guy in a game shop who claims to be Norwegian. He isn’t. He’s a fake as fuck American, the sort who are common in Los Angeles. He might have had a great grandmother who passed through Norway once. Then Ircha Gaming suggests that he should see the Northern Lights in Norway. Yeah. That or go to the souvenir shops in Norway. Just get a postcard with a picture of the Northern Lights.
8:45 – She went to an anime store.
I don’t know. It just seems stupid to me. Why travel 5,000 for this shit?
I’m conflicted on travelling in general. I hate it. I hate doing tourist shit but the non-tourist shit, while more worthwhile, is boring and not worth travelling for.
I went to Amsterdam. I suggested staying in a cheap hotel that’s on a boat. My girlfriend refused. It would have been an experience, though.
So we did what she wanted to do. I told her to plan everything because I always have to plan everything with her. She never does shit. So we went to a petting zoo and a purse museum and a cat museum and shit like this. There’s a museum of paintings of cats and live cats are wandering around. Stupid shit like this.
The more worthwhile stuff was seeing what people actually do. We took a commuter boat just to some residential area. It was just interesting to see what people do on a day to day basis. Walk around the area. The grocery stores are always fascinating. This sort of thing. But it’s boring. Why am I spending thousands of pounds for this? I can stay at home and do normal commuter shit. The benefit of seeing how the average resident of Amsterdam lives in minimal. What am I really going to do with this information? Who cares.
And I said, “Hey, let’s go to the Red Light District. Let’s go to one of those weed bars.” That’s what people go to Amsterdam for, after all. That’s the only reason why anybody goes. No. She’s a total fucking square. Refused to go. We walked through some area that had a lot of weed stores and whatnot, and stopped at some shops but that was the extent of it.
The trip wasn’t wholly without merit. It’s the things that you see in between going to your shitty tourist destinations that can be worthwhile. But is it worth however many thousands of pounds this cost me? No.
The bathrooms in the hotel had sort of transparent walls. Like frosted glass. So it was amusing seeing my girlfriend panicking over that. The toilet was right near to the bed so you could see the person sitting on the toilet or whatever. She was trying to affix towels to the wall but there was no place to hang them. I’m not going to watch you take a shit. And I’ve known you for ten years. Just relax. We’re operating on the honour system here. Extremely peculiar choice of wall material, though. This wasn’t some shady hotel. Families went there. Whatever.
10:00 – She went to the Hollywood sign. Great.
10:15 – Universal Studios. Eugh. Great.
So that was her trip. Fucking terrible.
I’ll take Ircha Gaming to Amsterdam. Fill her up with some brownies and then watch her on the toilet from the comfort of my bed. That would be a trip worth taking. But this shit where she just went to some fucking video game shops? Fuck no. Why…it’s preposterous. Why spend all of this money for that?