Gamer Girls

Another delightful year of Erin Plays. She released 18 videos in 2023. I’m not including her second channel Erin Plays Extras. I won’t even look at that shit since she started doing her aggressively boring NES A-Z thing, which is a blatant Mike Matei rip-off. And I didn’t even watch that tedious shit when Mike did it.

So let’s get to it. Why twelve? Because there were a couple of good ones that didn’t make the cut but they set the scene.

12) “It’s weird how much more views you get for cosplay thumbnails. Your fans are creeps. Live by the algo die by the algo” – tylermichaelb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA6qY3VEX9Q

This was from the video where she dressed as Jessica Rabbit. She did cosplay for a lot of videos this year. Hello, desperation. Seven of them, in fact. This wasn’t confined to Halloween. She did four for Halloween and three just when she was desperate for horntard pennies, as is the case with this Jessica Rabbit video.

So the guy, rightly, points out that her “fans” are creeps. This is what they’re there for. They’re there to jerk off. I know it’s insane to jerk off to a fully-clothed woman pretending to be interested in video games but this is their fetish. They’re mentally retarded. I don’t know what retards are into. This, apparently.

11) “Erin, I love your videos.I also wanna know where do I find a nerdy video game player like you at and the reason I ask this is because every woman I have ever had always tries to get me to get rid of my video games and comic books and I always tell them that they will go before my video games and comics Erin,have you ever played Metal Gear Solid on PS1 it’s a great game.” – jarredsmith918

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bYJdNyl2lo

This was from her video where she gave all of us gaming noobs some pro tips on how to beat Splatterhouse but it could have been from any video. His comment had no relation, at all, to the video.

There are lot of posts along these lines. People asking Erin where they can find a girlfriend who likes video games. This guy is particularly oblivious to the fact that being a nerd is a giant turn off for the ladies. That’s why the bottom-feeding women who he does manage to find all tell him that the hentai has to go or it’s over. He’s looking for a more open-minded hot chick who will accept his extreme nerd behaviour. He’s also oblivious to the fact that Erin is in no way, shape, or form interested in video games. It’s a con. A con to take the pennies from your pocket and put them into hers.

10) “visibly nervous …. Hey…… sweating profusely ……. I … uh ….. think you’re beautiful ….. runs away” – jeremiahw3168

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhg7Iivv

AND

“I’m … uh …….. in love with you ….” – jeremiahw3168

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqV5a8dK2S4

This is the same guy commenting on two different videos with the same “joke” about how he’s an awkward nerd who loves Erin. He thinks that this is going to work. This is his strategy. Why else would he do it? He thinks that Erin is going to take pity on him and have sex with him. That’s what’s going on in his warped mind. This is his genuinely held belief.

9) “Erin, a lot of us are so grateful for your videos. 2020/21/22 was an harrowing time for many people, and you and your friends helped coping with all that Have some rest, you all, and never be scared bc no one should See ya” – pacopd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA6qY3VEX9Q

Here’s another one from the Jessica Rabbit video. Seeing Erin dressed in a shitty costume is all that kept this guy going through covid. Also, presumably, Erin’s covid advice of speaking to an elderly neighbour to see if they need anything from the store. I would love to know if Erin actually did that herself. I guarantee you 100% that she did not. She doesn’t know her neighbours. She never leaves the house unless it’s to fly to or from her parents’ home in Los Angeles.

And what does this guy’s last sentence even mean? “Never be scared because no one should see you”? I think he’s encouraging her to continue to do the “sexy” cosplay. “Don’t be ashamed of showing your body.” He’s doing the old, “Turn pornography into something empowering” trick. “Hey, ladies. Show me your tits. It will be empowering, I promise.”

8) “Ok Erin, obviously you have always been smart, pretty, funny, knowledgeable about your topics and very easy on the eyes, Now where was this sexyness coming since the pad episode, passing by the nurse cosplay, and this Jessica rabbit, please please stay sexy and u will be the perfect YouTuber, do not misunderstand me please you are always beautiful, we want a sexy Erin now” – mikedestazador5116

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA6qY3VEX9Q

Here’s yet another one from the Jessica Rabbit video. I wonder why that particular video attracted so many horny losers.

Here’s a guy encouraging Erin to keep doing the “sexy” videos. This is what the people want. Mike Destazador knows it, I know, Erin knows it, we all know it.

Nobody gives a shit about the video games. Nobody cares that she doesn’t know jack shit about video games. They just want to watch porn and they can’t get around the parental block on their computer so Youtube is all that they have. He pays lip service to her being “smart”, “funny”, and “knowledgeable” but that’s just his attempt at being polite. It’s the “sexiness” that he’s here for. He’s a horny guy. A horny guy who inexplicably wants to look at Youtubers for his porn fix.

7) “Hey Erin are you married or in a relationship? If not you should hit me up and let me take you out sometime. Then we can go back to either one of our places and play video games all night. I’ve never met a girl that was good looking and not only like video games but are actually good at them as well. That’s such a rarity that I’ve only known 1 girl like that in real life. Lol if the video games aren’t good enough to keep you occupied, you can always just sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart! That would probably get you to like me quicker than my video game skills would. That’s cuz my tongue is even more talented than my hands (winking emoji)” – austinpowers8550

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bYJdNyl2lo

Here’s another one from the Splatterhouse video. He starts off fairly gentle. He’s looking to take Erin out on a date. Nothing crazy. Just see a movie or something. Maybe hold hands if they’re feeling it. He thinks that she’s really pretty and it might be nice to play video games together some time.

But then he just goes for it. Why not? You have to take chances in life. So he starts boasting about his cunningulus skills. He figures, probably rightly, that this is a better way to impress the ladies. What woman is impressed by video game skills? None. But if you can take good care of their lady parts, that’s a sound basis for a relationship.

But what about his intercourse skills? We need the full resume. Maybe he has erectile dysfunction so he focused on his oral skills. It makes sense. You always hear that women prefer oral anyway.

This isn’t just some guy on the internet either. If you go to his profile, there’s a picture of Joe Biden in a Taliban baseball cap, and his description is, “International pussy eating champion”. So he has the credentials. He has the title. Erin would be a damn fool to pass this up. It’s not just some regional championship either. “Pennysylvania Pussy Eating Champion” or something. He’s got the world title. I don’t know who the sanctioning body is but you can message him and I’m sure he’d be happy to tell you.

6) “U guys have a staus of celebrity not many can match so if u only stay on you tube well there’s a lot of ppl who know u guys all exist and James Rolf pioneered this type of fame something u can be very proud of even if u never make one Hollywood appearance u done things in ur life most ppl can only dream of ppl like me this girl the fact she likes games and is pretty and on camera has a really chill personality makes it seem possible to get a woman like her they far and few between but good luck to the whole crew here” – fantasticdavidson1179

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkfgAXCkF_0

This is from the food mascots video. She talked about Chester Cheetah and whatnot.

And this guy is saying, “Hey, you’ve done it, Erin. You might not have achieved your dreams of being a bigshot in Hollywood, but you’re making shitty Youtube videos and that’s close enough.”

Then he says, “Hey, you’re pretty and I wish I had a girlfriend who plays video games and likes me for me.” That’s a common theme in a lot of these messages. They’re lonely men looking for a woman who will accept them in spite of the fact that they’re giant nerds and quite possibly mentally challenged. It’s sad. But Erin happily takes money from these very unfortunate men.

This guy actually has a channel. I wouldn’t say that he’s retarded in the sense of a drooling imbecile but something isn’t right. He’s a single, middle aged, fat guy who plays the guitar. According to his sweatpants, he lives in the Minnesota region.

5) “Omg you’re adorable. Wish she was my girlfriend. Why can’t I ever meet a nice gamer girl. I always end up meeting mentally unstable women.” – jamescava8867

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JQxBSR68D4

Another lonely man looking for a girlfriend who plays video games and buying into the fantasy that Erin is such a woman. This guy is only meeting crazy women. Well, what are you bringing to the table? If you’re Rondo Hatton, you’re not going to get Mae West. You need to be realistic with your expectations. And if you want a higher calibre of women, you have to up your game. Get a better job, start working out, lose weight, bathe, improve your personality, become a world champion pussy eater.

It’s a huge task and I can’t even promise that it will make much difference. So you have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. Maybe these crazy women are good enough. Maybe you don’t need a hot chick who plays video games.

And think about it from the woman’s perspective. Do you think a woman, even a crazy woman, wants a giant fucking nerd who’s jacking off to gamer girls on Youtube? If you can find somebody who will put up with that weirdo shit, hold on to her with both hands and be grateful.

4) “A hat makes a poor personality substitute.” – meh3247

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k_UKANkpDo

This is from the video where Erin dresses as a cowgirl and gives basic bitch Wikipedia information about Cowboys of Moo Mesa.

I just thought that the comment was funny and accurate. Erin tries her stand up comedy routine in this video with “jokes” that don’t even make sense, of course. “Salad Dakota” and whatnot.

3) “Hi Erin, I was wondering if you can do a video of my challenge? I sent you an email about it describing what it’s about and what you have to do for it! I know it’s not exactly what you do on your channel but I’m asking everyone!”

FOLLOW UP

“I was thinking, since you are a gamer, it can be Nintendo themed too. Like put the tub of shaving cream on top of the power pad before putting your feet in. Or maybe have a design in the shaving cream of like a NES controller or the Triforce from Zelda which would be pretty amazing. Anyway, let me know!” – The_MDA_Challenge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht2c-xrGMyg

It’s just from a Beam Software throwaway video but the guy’s comment isn’t relevant to the video.

His first comment is vague as to what the “challenge” is. But in his follow up response, it becomes more clear. He wants Erin to put shaving cream on a Power Pad and start stomping on it in her bare feet. Or maybe have the shaving cream in the design of a Triforce or something. But the important thing is that you get your feet full of shaving cream. It would be amazing.

Clearly a fetish. Wants to see her put her booty shorts on again and slip around on a Power Pad. When Erin inevitably falls, it would be a convenient excuse for her to say the word “ass” again. “Ooh, my ass. My aching ass. My ass hurts so much. Who will rub my ass?”

Now here’s where things get really sad. You click on that guy’s channel and it’s a guy in a wheelchair who has muscular dystrophy. This is what he does. This is his fetish. Putting feet in shaving cream.

There’s a video where he’s encouraging women to put their feet in a tub of shaving cream. And while he’s saying this, there’s a tub of shaving cream in front of him and a nurse or something to his side. The nurse puts his feet in shaving cream and then the woman filming says “ooh” in a sexual way. Then this guy says that it feels really good and all of these women who he’s sending these creepy messages to should try it out.

Then there’s a bunch of videos of MILFs putting their feet into tubs of shaving cream. And they all read from the same script saying that they’re doing this to raise awareness of muscular dystrophy. I don’t know who these women are. I assume friends of this guy’s mother who got roped into this or nurses or whatever. But there is NOTHING about this that raises awareness of muscular dystrophy. This is all about catering to this guy’s bizarre sexual fantasies. And these women know that. They have to. Are they retarded?

There’s a video where he explains why he wants people to put their feet in shaving cream because apparently people were leaving comments asking what the fuck this sicko shit is about. So he explains that it’s because it’s, “simple, fun, and inexpensive.”

I don’t buy it for one fucking second. Loads of things are simple, fun, and inexpensive. Why feet in shaving cream?

If he just came out and said, “Hey, I’m a horny guy. I have muscular dystrophy. Do me a favour. This is what I like. I don’t have many joys in life.” I’d respect that. But don’t turn it into some noble and innocent thing to raise awareness of muscular dystrophy. It’s CLEARLY a sexual thing. Muscular dystrophy doesn’t affect the brain. This guy is of normal intelligence. So don’t insult mine by trying to turn this into something that it isn’t.

“I want to see MILFs putting their feet into shaving cream.” Fine. You do you. But just be honest about your intentions.

2) “The problem with sexy stuff being on youtube is the content creators kids will go through puberty one day and start jacking off the the content creator. I don’t think young people understand that.” – dankhill685

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64doIZpDmhU

Here’s a guy presenting a problem that most people don’t think about. What happens if Erin has a child one day? And it’s a boy. And the boy grows up and discovers Erin’s Power Pad video. And the kid is a horntard. He finds Youtube videos of a woman in booty shorts playing an old Nintendo game to be sexy. And he starts, you know, jerking off. What then? Wouldn’t that fuck with his head? Jerking off to his mother’s Power Pad video? People really need to think about this stuff before they release “sexy” Youtube videos.

Dude. What the fuck? This is just this guy talking about his fantasy. His fantasy is boys jerking off to their mothers. Because he probably jerks off to his mother.

This was a response to the video where Erin dressed up as a “sexy” nurse, by the way.

Let’s just move on. The number one horntard comment of the year. It’s a long one so I’ll italicise it.

1) I’d love to hear Erin scream, not out of fear, but instead, as she alleges one description of 3D Crazy Coaster states, “scream in excitement,” or as I find more suitable, scream in immaculate ecstasy!

Also, what was that part which I found so enticing? Oh right, the careening “around gravity defying curves!” Yeah, that definitely sounds like a thrilling game from which I could derive countless hours of immeasurable pleasure, rendering me incapable of prematurely stopping any of the blissful play sessions, instead of allowing them to take their natural course of enduring the entirety of nighttide, and stretching into the late morning hours. Count me ready to “climb aboard the crazy!”

I would not be surprised if such an activity would be a “ride more dangerous and exciting than any I’ve experienced before!” Plus, I would never be able to complain about the ability to “control the movement of the passenger.” However, I wouldn’t possess the desire to maintain control of the movements of the “passenger” for any significant passage of time, rather only for brief moments scattered randomly across the duration of play. Besides, one is typically able to derive a higher degree of felicity by allowing the “passenger” to exercise free will, and self-control, over their own movements, for in such a manner, the thrill and pure joy of playtime is amplified to a more intense level than what can be derived through the exertion of controlling their movements over any significant portion of time. Further, I do not care for the utilization of the term “passenger”, for it is neither fitting, nor appropriate, and anything but accurate, especially when referring to a play partner.

To experience such a fantastically fortunate event to unfold over the course of an entire night, and delving into the late hours of morn would be nothing short of real magic!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fWw7FE9tTo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nAON-MwUPY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n6D8lB0A9w – ThinkerOnTheBus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9LLEJ63_Rw

It’s a giant fucking nerd describing his desire to tie Erin up and do BDSM shit with her. In response to a Vectrex video.