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The Head Returns (2020) – Cinemassacre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHT1-g23YI
The one year anniversary. Where does the time go? This thing was hyped to the moon and then it got low view numbers. But maybe it’s a “hidden gem”. I never watched it so let’s check it out. It can’t be any worse than the AVGN Movie, right?
Oof. I may have spoken too soon. Kevin Finn is credited in this thing.
Oh, I should also mention that I’ve never seen the original “movie” or series of “movies” that Jimmy did as a child. So if there are any call backs, I won’t get them.
This is all in black and white. There are some moody establishing shots as the credits appear.
Then Jimmy…oh, this is such a childish idea. But Jimmy is talking about how the character in the Neighborhood Watch program is some kind of evil villain. If you’re familiar with the signs, it’s the guy on the sign. They show it in this “movie”.
I know that he made the first “movie” or “movies” as a child, so I get the childish plot but…he’s an adult now. Why would he choose to come back to such a childish “movie”?
2:00 – Jimmy isn’t hiding his baldness in this thing and this really shows just how bald he is. What on earth is he doing to his hair for these AVGN videos that makes it look nowhere near this bald? That Ronco hair in a can shit is my guess.
2:30 – Then there’s footage of Jimmy’s childhood “movie”. I think that Jimmy was the doctor in an asylum in his childhood “movie” but in The Head Returns, Jimmy is a patient in this same asylum.
Also, I think that Jimmy is basically the only “actor” in The Head Returns. It’s just sad. There are no more neighbourhood kids who he can put in the movies, I guess.
3:30 – Really terrible acting by Jimmy. He’s trying to have some emotional scene but…it’s just…for lack of a better term…”cringe”.
3:45 – “They give you that tie and they give you that diploma and they brainwash you.”
God, this is such bad writing. I don’t even know what’s going on. Jimmy is talking to the psychiatrist but I don’t know about what.
But…you’re not GIVEN a tie when you get a job as a psychiatrist. You have to provide your own ties. And they’re hardly difficult to get. They’re like $20. Or you can go to Ebay and get some nice used ties. Designer ties for cheap. There’s really no reason to buy a new tie. There’s a glut of ties out there.
Most people don’t wear ties any more. Even if you have a job that requires wearing a suit, a lot of times, a tie isn’t required. And a lot of people just get ties for weddings and funerals and shit like this. So they only wear them occasionally.
Even if you wear them every day, it takes a long time for them to start going bad.
So my point is that there are a lot of ties out there. And you can get nice ties for cheap.
Also, it’s not a fucking diploma. It’s a degree. Diplomas are for high school.
I wonder what Jimmy got. Do they give diplomas for special education or what? Not that it really matters. Nobody cares about what high school you went to or if you got your GED or what.
Although, I’ll never forget the shitty job that I applied to where they wanted to know what GRADE SCHOOL you went to. This is the calibre of applicant that they were getting: people who didn’t even finish GRADE SCHOOL.
Anyway, back to the “movie”.
4:00 – “You know that that man is carrying a case and you know what’s in the case: it’s the head.”
Why wouldn’t he say “briefcase”? Because that’s what it is.
And…has Jimmy ever seen a briefcase? A head can’t fit in a briefcase.
This is so fucking stupid. Why did he make this?
4:30 – Bad CGI padded walls of an asylum. And Jimmy is in a straight jacket.
Couldn’t he do some fucking research to see what modern mental health facilities look like? This is cartoon shit.
5:00 – Oh. Kevin Finn is the psychiatrist. There’s a weird wooden door in this cell with wooden bars on the window. That doesn’t look too secure.
Then some stuff happens. I don’t know what it was.
6:45 – Now Jimmy is sleeping on some railroad tracks. How did he get here? It’s not explained. Shitty writing.
Are even these outdoor scenes greenscreen? Yeah. Holy shit. Couldn’t Jimmy just film outside like a normal person? It would be LESS work and look BETTER. What’s the problem?
8:15 – Now he’s being chased by this Neighborhood Watch guy. Why? Nobody knows.
Even though Jimmy is running and the Neighborhood Watch guy is walking, the Neighborhood Watch guy has no problem keeping up and even closing the gap on Jimmy.
9:45 – Now Jimmy is at some greenscreened ruins. Why? We don’t know and we don’t care.
Are there no dilapidated buildings in rural Pennsylvania where Jimmy could have filmed this in? Why is everything fucking greenscreen? It looks like shit.
12:00 – The Neighborhood Watch guy catches up to Jimmy and reveals himself to be some guy from the previous movie. I guess. There’s a brief flash to this character from the previous “movie” where he was a kid.
12:15 – “Welcome to my haunt”. Is that what he’s saying? If that’s right, what does that mean?
13:00 – Jimmy’s acting is just fucking horrendous. See for yourself. I can’t do it justice in text form.
14:45 – A ventriloquist dummy appears for some reason. People are just saying random shit that doesn’t make sense. Jimmy will do this to try to sound intelligent. He just puts a bunch of shit in his “films” that doesn’t make any sense because he thinks that this is good story telling. It’s not. It’s lazy and bad story telling.
Then there’s an extended bad CGI chase sequence with this dummy’s head. That’s all that the movie has been so far. Just chase sequences. This is bad. Really, really bad.
Then Jimmy runs into the Neighborhood Watch guy again, who then proceeds to open his briefcase, revealing the dummy head, and then Jimmy’s head turns into a dummy head. Why? Nobody knows and nobody cares.
18:30 – Then the colour in the films comes back ala The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy touches down on Munchkin Land.
That’s it. That’s the “movie”. That’s what Jimmy hyped for months, if not years. That’s what Jimmy spent hundreds of hours on. For this total piece of shit.
It doesn’t make sense. It’s not scary. It’s just stupid. Really stupid. Something that a child would make.
Jimmy hasn’t advanced as a film maker since he was a child.
“Special thanks to Mrs Nerd and Screenwave”. Do they even want credit for this? I’d demand my name be taken off the credits.
I mean…this was straight up garbage. I came in with rock bottom expectations and this turned out to be even worse than I expected.
– “Really sad this doesn’t have many views”
Somebody replies with, “Gotta hurt as a film fantast when you post an actual serious film and it ends up at the bottom of the popularity list.”
THIS is a serious film to this guy? This is horrible. I wouldn’t turn this in as a high school project.
– “Very amateur… but thats what makes him unique.”
I’ll agree with this comment. Amateur indeed. And Jimmy sure is unique. Some might say “special”.
– “And then, at the end… COLOR! 😱I don’t know any movie that does that.”
Really? Wizard of Oz. Schindler’s List. Pleasantville. American History X. Forrest Gump. Many others.
– “Was this done on LSD or did you take a hit of David Lynch’s blood?”
Yeah, this is obviously what he was going for. This is what Jimmy goes for in all of his “movies”. Random, drug-induced, hallucinatory, wacky dream world shit happening. He thinks that this makes him an artist. No. It’s a substitute for not being able to write a fucking script.
The only good news for Jimmy is that very few people watched this thing. I mean, 132,000 is a lot but compared to AVGN videos or even filler material like the podcast or Rental Reviews, it’s a step down.
Shockingly bad. A 39 year old man made this. There can be no doubt that he’s mentally challenged. This “movie” is the only proof that’s needed.
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Haunting Starring Polterguy on SEGA Genesis! – Erin Plays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQdNBNm4vRU
Mike talked about this game in a recent podcast. As here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M8qMSQ7IH8
I don’t have a timestamp but it’s somewhere in there. Gee, Erin. Where do you get your ideas?
I’m not saying that Erin watched the video to get this idea. She doesn’t watch any video game related videos. But obviously, she had a discussion with Mike about what spooky game she could review for Halloween and Mike suggested this one.
Oh my god. Thirty-six minutes? Fuck you. Come on. How can I watch this? See how it goes.
0:00 – She’s wearing a “sexy” dress with skulls on it. Let me check…oh, my penis actually went into my torso. I’ve never seen that happen before.
0:15 – Wikipedia dot com.
0:30 – “The first thing I ever noticed about this character…”
THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING TIME THAT YOU’VE EVER PLAYED THE GAME.
God, I fucking hate these constant lies.
There’s no need to repeat her observation. It’s idiotic as per usual.
Oh my god. She’s just going to comment on everything that’s happening in the game. This is horrendous. Who is watching this?
2:15 – “Ew! I’ve never seen that one before!”
Erin…who the fuck do you think you’re kidding? This is the first fucking time that you’ve ever played the game. Why the lies? Just say that this is your first playthrough. It’s not a big deal. We all know it anyway.
2:30 – “I have played this before but I’ve never seen that exact scare.”
How much have you played this before? I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she played it once, for about five minutes, right before doing this video. Or maybe during a “variety stream” for about five minutes. But that doesn’t count. No normal person would say that they’ve played a game based on playing said game for FIVE MINUTES. But Erin does this. She thinks that she’s fooling someone with this ridiculous bullshit.
She’s really bad at the game, by the way. She has no idea what to do. This is what happens when you’ve never played a game before.
14:00 – “That was funny. I don’t remember that.”
This is what she’s doing for the entire video. She just keeps saying, “I’ve never seen that before” and the like. It’s fucking idiotic.
14:45 – “I don’t remember this. What do I do.”
I just can’t. This is fucking trash. Massively. Even by Erin’s standards.
And she actually “premiered” this. She thought that this was good. Thirty-six minutes of Erin saying, “I don’t remember this.”
36:00 – “This game is really fun. I highly recommend it if you haven’t played it.”
YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED IT, YOU DUMB BITCH. SO YOUR RECOMMENDATION IS WORTH NOTHING.
All of the comments from the horntards are about Erin’s dress and how hot she is.
Gameplaylick gave her $2.00. I’ve never seen that before. Apparently, you can now just give people money in the comments section on Youtube. And Erin is taking full advantage of these mentally retarded horny losers. She’s making less than $10,000/year from all of this shit.
https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1450536953359880195
Erin re-tweets some guy who says that you should re-tweet people’s Youtube videos. Naturally, Erin makes it all about herself.
THIS. I truly appreciate it when any of you retweet my videos. Seriously. Especially since my videos seem to die off on views rather quickly these days, it’s really a mood booster to see the support on twitter!
Erin…your videos are terrible. That’s why they get low views. I don’t even want to watch them any more. And this is my fucking non-paying job.
This latest video that I just reviewed is at less than 10,000 views after a day. That doesn’t seem good by Erin’s historical numbers.
It seems that Mike’s departure from Cinemassacre and the advertising of Erin’s channel that he would do there has taken a great toll on Erin’s view counts. Erin has probably given Joe from Gamesack and Retail Archaeology a heads up that she might be leaving Mike soon.
But yeah, it’s good news. Erin seems to be discouraged by how her channel is performing. Could we be near the end of this long nightmare?
Will I continue the blog when Erin leaves? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take a seven month hiatus to think about things. Like all tv shows, it’s important to take the odd seven month break.
I could focus on Crystal Quin, I guess. But then that would require watching her Talking About Tapes episodes. I don’t think that I can do that. And she’s completely one dimensional. She thinks that she’s hot and everybody wants to have sex with her.
Although, my complaints about Erin are pretty limited too. She’s a fraud and knows absolutely nothing about video games.
Stuff about Cinemassascre always does well but…it’s not on-brand.
Destiny Fomo stuff also always does well too but she doesn’t make videos any more (at least on Youtube) and I don’t want to talk about her OnlyFans or her prostitution, although this would be popular content. The most popular articles by far are the ones where I’m talking about exactly these topics. But it just doesn’t interest me. And Madam Fomo reports every single post about her. She reported the recent one about NYC Demon Diva. Nothing ever happens but it’s still ridiculous.
This whole Erin Plays saga has been a fascinating thing to me, though. An average-looking woman in her late 20s, with no charisma, with no interest or knowledge in video games, started a Youtube channel about video games. That would be weird enough right there.
But then she went on a calculated campaign to try to get into a relationship with various popular “gaming” Youtubers. She spammed a bunch of different channels trying to get these people’s attention. And it was Mike Matei who was desperate enough to take the bait, having recently ended a relationship.
Then Erin moves across the country to live with this man who she doesn’t even know, all in an effort to get this ridiculously bad channel off the ground. She literally exchanges butt sex for Youtube promotion from the Cinemassacre channel. She quit her job over this. She left her family and whatever friends over this.
How on earth did she think that this was going to work? At what point in this whole series of events did she realise that this is not going to work? Is she not yet at that point?
Did she do any research at all? There are a handful of women on earth who are making good money from playing video games on Youtube. And look at them. They’re all smoking hot. They have at least SOME personality. Erin lacks all of this. And she knows NOTHING about video games.
It’s baffling stuff. Everybody makes bad decisions in life but this is a whole series of monumentally bad decisions. And she just keeps doing it. I can’t understand it.
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Why Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is amazing – Cannot be Tamed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExUpjCS2Eeg
Whoa! You’re going to need the extra absorbent paper towels for this one. Three-ply. Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining is desperate for views again!
1:15 – Pam is drinking some wine and I think we’re supposed to be jerking off? Is that what we’re doing here? The wine is supposed to be like blood, right? And this is sexy to people? Sexy vampires? This is a genre that I’ve never masturbated to, I have to confess. And I’m certainly not going to start with fucking Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.
Oh, I just thought of a sexy vampire. Vampirella. The comic book, obviously, but I also had a couple of variant covers that had an actual woman on the cover, dressed as Vampirella. At least one of these women was the girlfriend of the artist of the comic or something. Let me look this up.
Jesus god. No, I don’t remember it being that 40 year old butter-face. But it was a Vampirella #1 from Harris, I’m sure. Let me keep looking.
Yeah, this was it. It was Vampirella Strikes that I was thinking of. She’s a little easier to look at. Sascha Knopf. What is she doing nowadays? Probably getting fucked in the ass.
Well, probably that but also according to Facebook, she’s an actress, acting coach, mentor, and photographer. Then you check her out on IMDB and…she hasn’t exactly been setting the acting world on fire.
Anyway, you can get those comics for about $10 now. That’s not too far off from what I paid for it new.
7:15 – She’s boring as fuck, of course, but it just dawned on me how pointless this all is. She’s reviewing a game from 20+ years ago. And it’s a game that’s pretty well known. Who’s benefiting from this?
If the review was funny or entertaining in some way, I’d get it. But it’s none of those things.
And she’s so fucking condescending. Who’s jerking off to this stuff? I don’t get it.
14:15 – Some “cringe” from Pam. I won’t even describe it. See for yourself. Shit tier acting.
So anyway, that’s the video. Terrible, terrible stuff as usual from Pam.
Huh. A surprising dearth of horny comments. Maybe Pam just doesn’t have it any more.
Oh, wait. Here’s one:
– “Damn Pam no disrespect to you boyfriend or anything but wow that’s make ups hot”
Uh huh. It’s the makeup that you found appealing. I’ll bet.
But good news, Uno One. Pam is a happily single 40 year old woman. Well, that’s not quite true. There’s her dog Lily. Plus, she’s not into men. Or possibly even humans.
That’s enough of that filth. Let’s think about attractive vampires. Oh, what about Elvira? She was all the rage when I was a kid. This was before the internet so porn was hard to come by. I remember a kid on the bus describing some girl and saying, “She has bigger tits than Elvira”. So that was the standard back then.
And just recently I saw an interview with Elvira by Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers was awful but the interview reminded me why Elvira was so confusing to me as a kid. She’s doing a California valley girl impression. Not being from California, I had no idea what this was. I still don’t know what it is.
Pauly Shore is a similar example of this. I never got the humour and I couldn’t understand why. Now I know why I didn’t get it. He’s doing some California surfer impression.
Why would somebody not from California find this shit at all appealing? I don’t even get it now, as an adult.
I suppose that this is why neither Elvira nor Pauly Shore had much longevity in the entertainment industry. They were pushed for a while because some idiot Hollywood producer found this shit entertaining but then when the results came in that America in general doesn’t understand these fucking California tropes that they’re trading on, it was all over.
Broader appeal. That’s what’s needed. Don’t have such an isolated world view. I’m just giving general advice now.
It’s like how John Riggs talks about Yakima, Washington a lot. We don’t give a shit. We’re not from Yakima. Can you give a message that appeals to people outside of Yakima?
Well, whatever. Maybe Pam can dress as Vampirella the next time she’s desperate for views. Putting out good content might be an idea too.
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Escape The Undertaker is Interactive! – Tony from Hack The Movies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKV_VJKMaIM
Hey guys! Remember wrestling?
I do remember wrestling. But why does Kieran seem to like wrestlers from “the 90s”? This is my era and I’m ten years older than him. It would be like me droning on about 80s wrestling. I don’t remember anything about it. I wasn’t even old enough to form memories for the first half of the decade.
I remember seeing a match with Hillbilly Jim at a friend’s house. I remember watching WWF Superstars. And that’s it. Those are my two memories of 1980s wrestling.
Somehow Kieran has taken the 1990s equivalent of that and ran with it.
Conversely, I know loads of shit about 1990s wrestling. I was watching that shit from 1990 to about 1998 so I have most of the decade covered. And I remember loads of it. I saw some Pay Per Views. Bastion Booger was my favourite wrestler when he had that brief run in early 1990s WWF. I remember how much I hated the Undertaker because I found the gimmick offensive. I remember the Monday Night Wars. I remember watching weird ECW infomercial type things late at night. I remember how shit the WWF became and then how shit WCW became and then just not watching wrestling any more.
I can talk about 1990s wrestling for days. But 1980s wrestling? No. That Hillbilly Jim match and squash matches on WWF Superstars.
Maybe Kieran was watching this 1990s stuff on tape or something. He was a tape trader as a 10 year old.
And hey guys! Remember Choose Your Own Adventure books?
I do remember Choose Your Own Adventure books. I had a bunch of them as a kid. But this is from the 80s. So Kieran and Tony, both born in about 1990, should have no memory at all of this innovative series of books.
I’d go to the bookstore and immediately check out the Choose Your Own Adventure section. They were numbered, which helped. I’d always look for early numbers, perhaps subconsciously knowing that the series got worse as it went on. I remember liking The Cave of Time the best. That was the first book.
But yeah, certainly by the 100 number books, it was not good. They farmed the work out to third-tier writers who had to crank a new book out every week or whatever. And it showed. They started having titles like You’re A Shark and You’re a Millionaire. Fuck off with this unimaginative shit.
I was going to make an Erin Plays Choose Your Own Adventure type book/game but it got complicated. You have to know what you’re doing. Study the flow charts of successful Choose Your Own Adventure books. Because the pacing has to be right and the options have work.
You can just have two options that lead down two different paths, and amateur writers have written in such a fashion, but it becomes exponentially bigger as you go on. You’ll start with 2 paths and then that becomes 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256. So with only eight choices, you already have to come up with 256 endings. That’s not good. Nobody wants to read a book with 256 endings, especially about something as inconsequential as Erin.
The Choose Your Own Adventure books would have multiple paths converge into the same path and some paths were longer than others and it was a whole thing.
So on to the video. “Only” 50 minutes.
What the fuck is this? Kieran is wearing a mask. Another thumbs down from me. Right off the bat. I was number 44 this time.
0:45 – Tony says that he gets angry comments “Whenever there’s somebody with a mask on the show”. Well, when does that happen? This is the first time I’m seeing this. Why is Kieran wearing a fucking mask? He doesn’t do this on the Cinemassacre Podcast and that’s with known autistic germaphobe Jimmy Rolfe.
Then Tony says, “The place we’re at requires it.” What place? Screenwave Media? So why does nobody else who appears on this show wear a mask? Why is Tony not wearing a mask? There’s a company policy that expressly says that Kieran must wear a mask when appearing on Talking About Tapes? Then why hasn’t he done this before? He’s been on the show before. No mask.
Oh. Instead of writing all of that, I could have just copied and pasted this guy’s comment:
– “Yeah they’re really required Tony. That’s why you’ve not been wearing them in the last 80+ videos right?You’re so full of sh*t that your middle name should be septic.”
Tony explains the mask in another comment. Kieran just returned from Too Many Games and “wanted to be safe”. Tony was also there and apparently didn’t care about safety. Or this alleged policy.
But yeah, that’s…that’s stupid. I’ll just leave it there.
2:15 – Kieran says that he first got into wrestling in 1990. What? Let me check IMDB. Maybe it gives his date of birth.
It does not but I found information that says that he graduated from university in 2010. So yeah. He would have been about 22 years old in 2010, assuming he graduated at the normal age…that makes his year of birth 1988.
So he was watching wrestling as a two year old. That’s what he wants us to believe? And he has memories of this? He was watching the Ronnie Garvin and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine feud with a giant load in his diapers?
It’s ridiculous. I wish that I could leave more than one thumbs down on a video.
You know what? I’m done. Thank god that I filibustered for the first twenty paragraphs or so, otherwise this would be a really short review. I didn’t even make it into the actual movie discussion. I just can’t. Listening to this wrestling talk…they don’t remember anything (obviously, being two years old at the time) and it’s just bad. Even if they could remember, who cares? I don’t care about the 1990 Survivor Series or whatever they’re stumbling their way through.
It would be like me talking about wrestling from 1980. I have NO IDEA what was going on in the world of wrestling in 1980. Let me DuckDuckGo this shit.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_in_professional_wrestling
Bruno Sammartino defeated Larry Zbyszko in a steel cage match.
Hey guys! Remember Bruno Sammartino? NO. He retired long before I started watching wrestling. And I only know Larry Zbyszko from his announcing days on WCW.
The tag team of the year was Jimmy Snuka and Ray Stevens. I’ve never seen a Jimmy Snuka match, but I know who he is and I’ve never even heard of Ray Stevens.
Mr Wrestling II was the most popular wrestler. Never heard of him.
I should do a podcast on 1980 wrestling. See how well that goes.
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Ranking Video Game Movies with Scott the Woz – Cinemassacre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP-CGqDCUoE
From the description:
Unfortunately, James is busy working on upcoming videos, like the rest of Monster Madness and AVGN episode 200, so Justin and Kieran joined Scott on this adventure.
People don’t like being lied to. Do they not know this? If you don’t want to say, “James is a lazy fuck so he’s at home playing with his excrement” just don’t mention James.
I think that what’s going on here is that they’re trialling a podcast without James. If this thing goes well, we know for 100% certainty that James is the problem.
By the way, Kieran is wearing a mask. I discussed this in another article but I haven’t yet published it so I’ll explain here. Kieran is wearing a mask because he went to Too Many Games and is a paranoid fuck. He did the same thing on a recent (unwatchable) episode of Talking About Tapes. He’s afraid that because he went to this nerd convention, he’s going to infect everyone or everyone is going to infect him or something. And the mask is somehow going to prevent covid.
0:00 – Justin says, “Are you guys ready for a Cinemassacre video without James Rolfe in it?”
Dude…I’m there. Give it to me, Justin. I’m fully erect here.
Then he gives the same lies that I mentioned earlier and are in the description.
0:30 – Then Scott the Woz promotes his Youtube channel. I watched one of his videos before and even reviewed it. As here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/06/borderline-forever-scott-woz.html
It was bad. REALLY bad. It was a camp gay man singing and dancing for an hour. I’m not even joking. It was a fucking musical, like something you’d see in the 1950s minus the charm and talent.
1:00 – Justin says, “The kids nowadays love tier lists” and then there’s a graphic that features John Riggs.
It’s true. John Riggs really does beat this tier maker thing into the ground.
3:45 – Kieran says that the Super Mario Bros movie was “neato”. He’s used this word before. He seems to be saying it non-sarcastically but…how is it possible for somebody to say “neato” non-sarcastically? This must be some sort of stupid joke that he’s making.
5:45 – There’s a stupid rule that Justin introduced in the beginning where anyone can give a movie an “S” grade, but only one per person. So instead of coming to a consensus about what grade a movie should have, somebody can just say “I’m using my S grade for this one” and it’s an “S”.
The rule makes no sense and I don’t know why he did this. It’s made all the more illogical because Scott and possibly Kieran don’t even know what all of the movies are going to be.
So Scott immediately ruins what was already an idiotic idea by using his “S” card on Double Dragon, a movie that he hasn’t even seen. So it’s an “S”. Even though I assume that the movie is really bad. I haven’t seen it either.
By the way, I’m six minutes in and Justin is witty, Scott has interesting stuff to say, and Kieran is also doing well. I think that we’ve figured out what the problem with the Cinemassacre Podcast is: JAMES “AUTISTIC SCATMAN” ROLFE.
7:15 – Then Kieran gives Street Fighter: The Movie an “S” rank so that’s another “S” rank movie. He claims that it’s the best movie he’s ever seen, which completely destroys any credibility he has a film reviewer.
So now we’re at two “S” rank movies and one “B” rank movie (Super Mario Bros). This is not going to go well. We’re not going to get anything approaching a bell curve. But if we ignore the terrible movie preferences of these folk, I’m enjoying the video so far. I guess. I don’t want to oversell it. If I wasn’t writing this, I probably wouldn’t be watching this shit.
31:15 – Kieran said, “Total RE-quest Live”. Weird pronunciation of “request”.
By the way, the video is playing but I’m doing other stuff and only half-listening. I’ve never seen ANY of these movies so it’s tough to be invested. But it’s still better than any episode of the Cinemassacre Podcast.
Okay. I’m at 48 minutes. That’s good enough.
Yeah, I’d put this on par with an average Talking About Tapes that doesn’t feature Crystal Quin. It’s something that you can sort of listen to while doing other stuff. It’s non-offensive. It’s mildly engaging.
There’s a natural flow in the conversation, which is quite unlike anything with Jimmy Rolfe in it. Nobody was reading from notes or old library books. Indeed, I don’t even think that Scott (and possibly Kieran) were told what movies were going to be discussed, which makes it all the more impressive that they were able to talk about this shit.
I would be more invested if I was even remotely interested in these movies. The fact that Kieran said that he saw that Street Fighter movie literally hundreds of times is something that he should be deeply embarrassed about. This is not remotely normal behaviour. Even if it was a good movie, which it isn’t, what lunatic is watching a movie hundreds of times?
But yeah, I think that this was a test run to see: a) if Jimmy is in fact the problem; and b) who a suitable replacement might be. Because it’s fucking obvious that Jimmy is GOD AWFUL and he’s contributing NOTHING to the success of Screenwave Media. People talk about how Jimmy should get rid of Screenwave. No. It’s totally backwards. Screenwave should get rid of Jimmy. He’s a complete zero. They’re doing all of this work for him and he’s giving back jack shit.
Justin has suggested numerous times that he’s tried different things to try to motivate Jimmy into doing his job. Why? That’s not how this works. If Jimmy doesn’t want to do his fucking job, get rid of him. I assume that Jimmy is a client of Screenwave. Just drop him like Screenwave have done to many of their other clients. How can it be at all profitable?
And their association with Jimmy makes Screenwave look bad. People watch the awful AVGN and the awful Rental Reviews and the awful podcast and they don’t say “Jimmy is awful” they say, “Screenwave is awful”.
If Screenwave was working with somebody with a modicum of charisma and a desire to actually make good videos, it’s likely that good videos would be produced. But Jimmy is a total dud. Jimmy is the problem. This video proves it.
I don’t give the slightest of fucks about movies based on video games and I don’t like Scott the Woz but I watched 48 minutes of this. It was adults having a semi-intelligent conversation, albeit about something idiotic. There was no poop talk. Nobody suddenly started reading a book about chupacabra. It wasn’t just a bunch of awkward “yeah”s. It was three non-autistic people having a conversation.
Jimmy is just fucking awful. I don’t take any pleasure in saying this. I sympathise. It’s a tough position to be in. He has absolutely no conversation skills but he’s being asked to do all of this unscripted stuff. If he had any sense of awareness, he’d be terrified at the mere idea of this, and then he’d be completely mortified when he saw the finished product. All of James’ unscripted stuff is unwatchable. Why keep doing it?
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Cat DeSpira says that James Rolfe ripped off her Polybius article
It’s the top comment. She says that the AVGN Polybius video stole “content” that she first published. I’ll just cite the examples that she gives:
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All newspaper headline snaps from the AVGN video are my research from my article. Those snaps came from newspapers that had not been published in over 35-years and only appeared in my article when I published them after I discovered them. No one knew of the arcade raids in Portland and Seattle until I dug the lost info up.
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AVGN mentions Polybius maybe being like the video game Tempest (Atari Oct 1981). No one ever raised the supposition of Atari Tempest perhaps being a possible progenitor of the urban legend except me. It was my theory. It’s in my article.
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AVGN mentions that a kid playing Asteroids (Brian Mauro, 1981 marathon champion) and other kid fell ill on the same day at an arcade. AVGN nerd mentions that a kid suffered a migraine (Michael Lopez). This information was exclusive to my article because I was the one who uncovered it and then published it in 2012.
You can see her article here:
https://retrobitch.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/reinvestigating-polybius-with-2015-update/
I don’t really understand it. She wants credit for articles that other people wrote? Who cares if you found an old article? That doesn’t mean that the article belongs to you now.
Then she wants credit for a theory that she had. You can’t plagiarise a theory.
My theory is that the boys on Reddit don’t like the Screenwave crew because the Reddit boys are catty homosexuals who don’t like bears. So now whenever anybody says that the guys on that sub-reddit are a bunch of faggots, they’re supposed to cite me as a reference? It’s ridiculous.
Then she talks about more research that she did and wasn’t credited for.
She says that multiple people were “plagiarised” against in that video. That’s fucking research. When you compile information from more than one source, that’s research and it’s new material.
It’s the same thing that she did. She compiled work that other people did and presented it as her own work. That’s how this operates.
Maybe Jimmy Rolfe and/or the Screenwave Bunch could have listed their sources in the description of the video. But this isn’t a scholarly article in an academic journal. It’s a shitty Youtube video. And I don’t even know if it would be required to cite this stuff in an academic sense.
It’s just the boys on Reddit trying to stir up trouble like the camp drama queens they are. And then this very peculiar woman uses it as an excuse for self-promotion.
The Monster Madness stuff was a much stronger case for plagiarism.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/10/reddits-homosexual-campaign-to-get-newt.html
The video uses exact phrases from a movie review. The movie review in question is clearly the writer’s own opinion and work and therefore it’s their intellectual property.
But research? Research where you’re just collating other people’s work? That’s much more nebulous. Is she presenting anything original? She says something about Tempest being confused for Polybius is her own theory. Well, okay. So now any time that somebody says, “Polybius was probably just confused for Tempest”, they have to cite her? It’s stupid. Nobody is going to do that.
As I said, I don’t even think that this stuff would need to be cited in an academic context. So why would the standards be higher for a shitty Youtube video?
Let me go back to this Monster Madness thing. It seems like obvious plagiarism and it shouldn’t have happened. Let’s assume that it was 100% Newt, which I’m not even sure if it was.
If it was Newt, he must have had too much to do. Because why else would you just rip stuff off wholesale from some old review? Maybe he just didn’t give a shit, possibly because he wasn’t getting paid enough.
But it’s not an academic or a legal or a moral issue for me. If Newt considers himself to be a writer, which I think he does, why would he just rip somebody else’s work off? Why wouldn’t he have enough pride in his own work to think that he could do a better job than whatever he’s ripping off? It’s a fucking movie review. What do you like about it? What do you dislike about it?
And that brings in the whole weird dynamic that he’s writing a review for somebody else. How can Newt write a movie review for Jimmy Rolfe? Newt doesn’t know what Jimmy liked or didn’t like about the movie. Jimmy didn’t even see the fucking movie. None of it makes sense.
Now that I think about it, when Roger Ebert was in his dying days, he brought in a crew of writers to do movie reviews for his website. The people were all properly credited but it was all under the umbrella of Roger Ebert. Like these were somehow supposed to be substitutes for Ebert’s reviews.
Nobody went for it. They were trying to turn Roger Ebert into some kind of brand. Are they still doing this?
Yeah, they are. Ebert has been dead for years but he’s still reviewing movies. Kind of. Brian Tallerico reviewed the recent Halloween movie.
Why is Brian Tallerico writing on rogerebert.com instead of briantallerico.com?
They have a bunch of people who you’ve never heard of writing these movie reviews. What’s the point? I don’t value the opinion of Odie Henderson. I don’t know anything about him. Maybe he has good opinions but how do I know?
It’s a similar thing to this Monster Madness, I suppose, but more honest. At least on RogerEbert dot com, the writers are given credit. With Monster Madness, it’s Jimmy Rolfe pretending that he wrote all of these reviews. I don’t know if that’s plagiarism but it’s clearly dishonest. And he does the same thing with the AVGN videos. I saw one video where somebody got writing credit. For everything else, nothing.
This is how it’s been from the start. Mike wrote loads of AVGN episodes. Maybe all of them. Who can say? It was just Jimmy Rolfe taking credit for all of them.
James Rolfe is an autistic fucking retard. He’s not capable of doing this stuff. He’s a complete puppet. But Mike profited off of him and now Screenwave are profiting off of him. So it works for everyone, I guess. Jimmy gets some money and all of the credit and Mike owned the fucking channel so he presumably was making money off of this. And now I think Screenwave own the channel so they’re making money off of this.
And thinking about this situation, Jimmy is happy to take all of the credit for other people’s work but he refuses to take any of the blame. Some faggots on Reddit start causing problems? Newt’s out the door.
I suppose that you can’t expect too much from an autist retard but still…the whole situation with Jimmy Rolfe is creepy as fuck. People manipulating an autistic man for financial gain.
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NYC Demon Diva
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWutX7VdHLUh-a9lhoxE9Pg
I found this woman from some shit that Destiny Fomo re-tweeted. As here:
https://twitter.com/RajGiri_303/status/1443673408252829702
Its a picture of Madam Fomo, this NYC Demon Diva, and a couple of guys who I assume are either pimps or johns. They’re in a bar. Presumably, this woman is in the same profession as Madam Fomo.
She’s also on Youtube. And OnlyFans. And TikTok. Her TikTok stuff is unwatchable. A lot of it seems to be in Spanish but sometimes she’s speaking English and I just can’t understand it so it’s confusing. She goes in and out between Spanish and Spanish-like English. I think.
She’s originally from Puerto Rico. I don’t know how long she’s lived in the US.
She also has an Instagram. Across all of her platforms, she’s often wearing low-cut stuff and I think that we’re supposed be jerking off over this but…it’s just not working for me.
So let’s check out her Youtube. She seems to exclusively do “reaction” videos to…wrestling shows? This is how you know that wrestling is for nerds nowadays. Women are trying to exploit it. Same with comics and video games. These are all things that women now pretend to be interested in as a way to get money from socially-inept nerds who don’t know any better.
These are also the three things that Madam Fomo pretends to be interested in. It’s no coincidence. This is all calculated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H_Yg031niI
NYC Demon Diva is “reacting” to an episode of Monday Night Raw.
It’s all edited. It’s disjointed. We have no idea what she’s watching. And she says seemingly random things, some of which I don’t even think is in English.
She has a foot of cleavage showing.
God. She could filter krill with these gums. She should work on her closed-mouth smile.
Okay. I’m done. I made it to 3:30.
This doesn’t even make sense. She’s saying stuff, we can’t understand anything that she’s saying, and it’s all over a video where we have no idea what’s going on.
Nobody is watching this shit. Her videos average 300 views and even that seems remarkable to me. Who can possibly be at all entertained by this?
She has references to New York City all over her Twitter and whatnot. You see this a lot with people from New York. Here’s why it doesn’t work: nobody outside of New York gives a shit. Indeed, Americans not from New York hate that shit.
We don’t care what the best place to get bagels is. We don’t care which subway lines get you there. We don’t care about any Bronx versus Brooklyn rivalry. We don’t care about your local sports teams.
You don’t see this with people from any other city. Somebody from Akron isn’t forever talking about Akron like people not from Akron will have any idea what he’s talking about.
Or even if you look at bigger cities. People from Los Angeles don’t do this. People from Chicago don’t do this. People from Houston don’t do this. People from Phoenix don’t do this.
Wow. I had no idea that Houston and Phoenix were the fourth and fifth biggest cities in the US. It’s because the residents aren’t engaged in constant self-promotion.
London has a similar population to New York, similar infrastructure, whatever. People in London don’t do this. When speaking to somebody else in London or from London, of course you can talk about London. But they’re not going on the fucking internet and regaling the masses about the air-conditioned trains on the Victoria line. Or how sad they are that the Cereal Killer Cafe closed. Or how shit Bethnal Green is. Nobody would know what they’re fucking talking about and they’d come off as pretentious assholes.
But people in New York do this. Like we’re all supposed to give a shit about New York. New York can suck my fucking cock.
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Newt seems to have been fired from Screenwave
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1448313354418798592
Due to major mental an physical health issues since Summer and trying to get better before I turn 40 next week I decided im no longer gonna be on Hack the movies. Thank you to everyone who watched and interacted with me during my time on the show. It means the world to me
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1448342261201264640
thanks everyone for kind words and even the not so kind words. I am in a bad place. In my head and heart. I over did it in the last 2 years. and its got me really needing help. I am taking steps towards not being this person anymore. I am gonna miss the shows. and all of you
Somebody asks if that means that he just won’t be involved at all or just won’t appear on screen. Newt says, “At all.”
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1448352113713721350
nah i think im done creating. but i know johanna and crystal was do a spooky show and i hope they do. i look fwd to seeing everything everyone does
Eugh. When God closes a door, he opens a window…of pain and misery. Who the fuck wants to see a show with Johanna and Crystal Quin?
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1448351440393707525
no why would you do that. this is on me. not them. they have done everything to help me get help. and even if im not involved they are still my friends. I am a broken person and mask a lot of sadness with jokes and it got harder and harder to do. please dont blame them
I think that this is in response to somebody saying that he’s going to boycott Screenwave over this.
I still suspect that James was responsible for this plagiarism. But let’s assume that it was all Newt. Who cares? These are shitty Youtube videos.
And why did Jimmy ask somebody else to write movie reviews for him in the first place? Movie reviews are supposed to your own opinion. As far as I’m aware, Roger Ebert never asked somebody else to write his reviews for him. It doesn’t make sense.
So the whole premise is dishonest to begin with. And Jimmy knew this. Everyone knew this. It was presumably Jimmy’s idea. Get somebody else to do his work for him and then try to pass it off as your own. That’s what he’s been doing for years. Why isn’t Jimmy fired?
As for where this leaves Talking About Tapes aka Hack the Movies…eugh. The most recent episodes have all featured the horrendous Crystal Quin and the merely bad Johanna. It’s wholly unwatchable. I can’t even watch that shit just to write a review talking about how bad she is.
Newt was terrible when he was with Crystal Quin on these things but when he was there without her, he was fine. It was watchable. Crystal is the fucking problem.
In any event, it’s for the best. Do something better with your life. I don’t even know what he was doing for a living. He seemed to have regular jobs like working at Screenwave or working at a movie theatre but he also did this weird shit with Crystal. Like he would make fake commercials with her in a bikini and whatnot. Is somebody buying this shit? Why is he making these videos? Is it just for his personal spank bank?
Let’s see…career advice. I always advocate leaving the US. I think that he has a German name but probably doesn’t have ancestors close enough to be able to get citizenship or even a visa to live in Germany, what with the large German immigration to the US being in the 1820s. All of his known relatives are probably Americans.
There’s always teaching English in Asia or Eastern Europe but…well, it’s a dead end job and you have to dance like a monkey and the pay is bad. But other than all of that…it’s an option. Something better might come along while you’re there. Maybe get a wife. Things happen.
I was thinking in terms of medical care but it’s probably similar in Asia and Eastern Europe as it is in the US. You need health insurance and shit costs money.
Let’s look at jobs in the US. Fucking anything, really. Get a job in an office. Let me check Craiglist. Yeah. New Jersey. Receptionist. Part-time. It’s $14/hour. That seems pretty good to me. How much can Screenwave possibly be paying?
Experienced plumbers wanted. Yeah, that’s something I’ve always pushed as well. I’ve suggested that Erin should get a job as a plumber. Why not? Learn a trade. But don’t go to some fucking bullshit scam school. Surely, you can find a plumber who will take you on as an apprentice.
Then you actually have a skill. When you don’t have a skill, you have to compete for these shitty unskilled jobs. But when you have a skill, you dictate the terms.
I’ve done both. Job interviews for unskilled jobs consisted of me grovelling to some condescending asshole for the slim chance of getting some low-paid job.
Then once I learned a trade, job interviews suddenly changed. It’s me or nobody. I’m the only qualified person interested in the job. So here’s what I want. Oh, you can’t do that? No problem. I’ll work on a self-employed basis instead. Cut out your middleman bullshit and keep all of the money myself.
So plumbing would be good. Or whatever. Be more esoteric. Elevator repairmen are said to be among the highest paid people in the US. Air traffic controller is another good one.
Of course any of this shit takes time and effort to learn but you’re setting yourself up for a better job.
Also, he has experience doing editing and producing videos (of sorts). Maybe he can do something with that. I don’t know how saturated the market is. It’s something that he can maybe even do from home. Edit people’s shitty Youtube videos or something.
So anyway, best of luck to Newt and his future endevours. Oh, and disassociating yourself with Crystal Quin would also be a good idea.
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ShiShi and Pointless Nostalgia
https://twitter.com/ShishiVids/status/1440781894665211909
I’m checking out ShiShi’s Twitter. He must be going through withdrawals now that Erin and Mike are on vacation. By the way, they’re apparently in California. Again. Because Mike recently posted a picture of them at some Karate Kid location. I don’t know where Peru came from. Somebody on Reddit said that they were in Peru. But no. They’re in California. I guess. Even though I thought that they just came back from California. Whatever. Who cares?
ShiShi seems to go to a lot of right-wing conspiracy folk on Twitter and then…he posts “memes” as a reply. You know…like videos or pictures of…something. I can’t tell if he’s for or against these conspiracy people. Probably for. But…why he just posts “memes” is anyone’s guess.
The above is a rare instance where ShiShi actually used his words, like a big boy. He’s talking about Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Wow 94′, I might be wrong but I think a lot of fans didn’t get into this show until it was on Sci-Fi channel in like 98′ (after Saturday Anime).Lots of classic episodes in those seasons though… NO SPRINGS!!!! (Grinning face emoji) So much stuff was at its peak in the late 90s!
Yeah, he’s dead wrong. People tuned out in droves when the show moved to the Sci Fi Channel. One big problem was the Sci Fi Channel’s insistence that all movies shown on the program had to be science fiction. They dropped that after a year, but by then the damage was done.
I pretty much stopped watching after that first year on the Sci Fi Channel. I don’t know if it was a drop in quality or that I was just getting older and losing interest in nerd shit. I had stopped watching Star Trek by then and I stopped buying comic books. I guess that those were the main nerd things that I was into, other than Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Was that show really on up until 1998, though? Let me check.
Yeah, it ended in 1999. That’s crazy. I was in college. Then I had some shitty jobs. Then I moved to England. This all happened within the space of a few years.
When I moved, people were discussing whether or not Rachel was going to marry Ross on Friends. Or whoever the couple was.
As the date for my flight got closer, there was some new show coming on that I wanted to see but I can’t remember what the show was now. I just remember being sad that I knew I wasn’t going to be able to watch any more episodes. It was probably some piece of shit.
Then when I got a tv in the UK, I started watching Big Brother. For years, I went to some message boards that had a lot of British people on them and they would always talk about Big Brother. So I watched it and…this isn’t very good. But I knew that there was nudity so I’d keep watching. Occasionally, you’d catch a glimpse of some fat chick’s boob or something but it wasn’t anything that you’d jerk off to.
I was too late for Jade Goody but there was that fucking big breast porn star on there. I can’t remember her name. I’ll look it up. Lea Walker. That’s right. She was friends with that gay man (Richard) and she wanted to have sex with that guy who had Tourette’s (Pete) but she was too old for him so he wasn’t interested. That didn’t stop that Welsh guy (David), who was 19, from “giving it a go” but she wasn’t interested. He did get to feel her tits once, though.
What’s Lea doing these days? Oh, she’s on Only Fans. Here’s her Twitter.
https://twitter.com/officialleaw
She’s totally unrecognisable. She’s 51 years old now. Hasn’t tweeted in over six months.
David might have a chance now. She’s completely washed up. I think that she also had a podcast or maybe a radio show with Richard for a while.
Speaking of washed up Big Brother contestants, Pete briefly toured with his band after winning Big Brother, before getting addicted to heroin or something. According to Wikipedia, his last known whereabouts were in 2016 when he set up a cleaning service staffed by “celebrities”. According to Companies House, the firm ceased trading in 2018. People wouldn’t even pay this guy to clean their fucking toilets.
Here’s his Twitter:
https://twitter.com/mrpetebennett
That’s just sad. He’s begging you to give him money for some wannabe Cameo site. You can also have like a Skype call with him.
Have you considered getting a job? I appreciate the lure of easy money but this is not easy money. This is a giant hassle. And he’s getting peanuts for this shit. There are jobs out there. Easy jobs that pay a reasonable wage.
I sometimes stumble across these people who talk about making passive income. Then when they break it down, their income comes from a shitty e-book, drop shipping scams, and the various ways that they monetise their Youtube channel.
This is not passive income. This is work. And the vast majority of people are not going to make money from this. Just go down to the fucking Subway and fill out an application. You’ll make more money and the job is much easier.
Anyway, this all made me realise just how long ago this was. I wouldn’t have a clue how things are done in the US any more. I never had a mobile phone there. I never had broadband internet. According to Crystal Quin, the gas prices are much higher now. I think that health insurance is all done differently now.
I looked at a job application in the US a couple of years ago, maybe longer, and they said that you can’t wear perfume or cologne as part of some sensitivity policy. They wanted to accommodate people with…allergies or just people who don’t like perfume and cologne.
It’s crazy. If you’re wearing too much, somebody just needs to tell you to tone it down. But to actually have it as a company policy…it’s bizarre.
But this is how things have become there. People are ultra sensitive now. Things are much more partisan. About everything. Even covid is somehow a political issue.
I saw how things were going. Rise in jingoism. Patriot Act. Wars for oil. As an individual liberty enthusiast, I decided that this wasn’t for me.
Yeah, the UK isn’t the freest country in the world but it has the US beat. Objectively. Here’s the list:
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/freest-countries
And besides, I bring the freedom with me. I have a laundry list of petty tyrants who I’ve taken down. I’m an easy going sort of guy but I’m also passionate about freedom so I don’t put up with any bullshit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YUWPAnUHes
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YUWPAnUHes] -
COTTON Reboot on Switch! – Erin Plays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVw9VzHIrMU
So I’m watching this and Erin is saying her usual stupid shit: “I put it on easy mode”, “I forgot about (whatever)”, “Isn’t she cute” and so on. But…I can’t even bring myself to write about this now that I know that she’s only making $6,900/year on this shit.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/10/breaking-news-twitch-earnings-leaked.html
She mentions that she just filmed some Halloween videos. I just keep thinking, “What’s the point?”
I don’t know why I should feel any different. It’s actually MORE money than I thought that she was making. But now that I know how much she’s getting from this shit, it just seems different to me. It seems more real and more futile. And it was already really futile.
Why would she possibly continue this? Week after week she’s there making a total ass of herself, playing games that she hates, for perverted retards who she can’t stand, and getting fucked in the ass by some loser who she doesn’t love. For less than $10,000/year. Across all platforms. That’s her entire income. Less than $10,000/year.
And she’s talking about how excited she is to be making Halloween videos. I think that I’m more depressed about Erin’s life than she is. Maybe I’m going to start sleeping all day and crying in the bathtub too.
Why doesn’t she just quit and go home? I’ve quit jobs over WAY less than this. If anyone started fucking me in the ass at some $10,000/year job, I would be out of there before he could even unzip his pants. It doesn’t make any sense. $10,000/year? Are you insane? Plus the humiliation of these videos. It just blows my mind.
And she’s not even interested in this shit. This is the world’s most ill-conceived scam. Why doesn’t she just give up? Why throw your life away like this?
2:00 – Fruit bats are cute. I want a fruit bat. They’re like flying puppies.
Forgive the paraphrasing. I just can’t do it. I can’t listen to this again. It’s depressing as fuck. And baffling. Does she think that this is going to be a success? We’re coming up on the five year anniversary of the Erin Plays Youtube channel. Has it been a success so far? When is this going to take off? When is the world going to be ready for a fake 35 year old gamer grrl with zero charisma who doesn’t have a single interesting thing to say about anything?
She’s playing this fucking shooter, it’s a “cute-em-up”, and…why? The whole thing puzzles me. Why would somebody do this for five years? Why would somebody do this at all?
A lot of people start Youtube channels that are much better than Erin’s but they give up within a year. Nobody is watching the videos and they get discouraged.
Why didn’t Erin do that? Why did Erin persist with these god awful videos? It’s ridiculously obvious that she has no interest in video games. The scam is entirely transparent. Why was she so convinced that this would work? Even five years later, with no success to be found, she still apparently thinks that it’s going to work. She hasn’t changed ANYTHING. She’s sticking with the “make idiotic comments that nobody gives a shit about” formula.
3:00 – She said the word “forgot” about three times in 30 seconds. She “forgot” everything about this game.
$10,000/year. She’s pulling a scam for $10,000/year. This is the most low-stakes scam of all time.
4:30 – A horntard asks if Erin has a discord. Erin says that she doesn’t but plans on getting one soon.
Why? Why any of this?
“I don’t know if I would call it a cute-em-up. I mean, I guess it is but not as much as Harmful Park or Parodius.”
She mentions the same two games over and over and over again. Two games that she played ONE time. On stream, for money.
And she’s not sure if this game is cute enough to be considered a “cute-em-up”.
It’s so fucking stupid. This is unwatchable.
She said that she played this before. In her spare time. But she knows NOTHING about the game. Why does this keep happening? She says that she’s played a game and then she demonstrates a total lack of knowledge about ANYTHING in regards to the game.
Everything is a lie. It’s all a lie to scam retards out of $10,000/year. Plus the buttsex. Plus the embarrassment.
8:15 – A cute sprite in the game reminds Erin of a “squishmallow” that she wants. Or something.
You can get all of this stuff, Erin, if you just get a fucking job. Any job will pay more than $10,000/year. Don’t you get it?
Think about all that she did to get $10,000/year. She moved across country over this, to live with a man she doesn’t love, or even like. There’s all the buttsex. She’s making all of these horrendous videos.
Instead of doing that, she could have just walked down the street to the nearest Burger King and landed a job making $26,000/year. No buttsex. Humiliation is limited to the local level.
She planned an elaborate heist to get PEANUTS. I’ll never understand this.
It’s like one of those Rube Goldberg machines and then at the end a giant hand comes down and presses the lever on the toaster. Why go through all of that? Why make the bowling ball drop on to the fishbowl which causes the fish to…just press the fucking lever on the toaster yourself. This isn’t challenging stuff. Why make things harder than they need to be?
People have said, “She’s doing it for the fame.” What fame? ShiShi and a handful of other mental defectives? A few hate-watchers on Reddit? The Gamer Grrls massive?
9:30 – “I’m having a great time right now. I hope you guys are enjoying this.”
No. And what’s the point of any of this? Why does she care who’s enjoying what? This is such a terrible video, as usual. And for ten thousand bucks a year.
9:45 – “Hey Sergio. I’m good. How are you.”
And then Sergio is there asking Erin how she’s doing for probably the thousandth time. And for the thousandth time, Erin gives the exact same boring as fuck answer.
This can all end tomorrow. All Erin has to do is decide to start living. Fuck this ridiculous scam for $10,000/year and fill out some job applications. It’s all online. She doesn’t even have to leave Mike’s house. They don’t take that long to do.
I understand pulling heists to rob a bank or make a big drug score or whatever. Erin is pulling an elaborate heist to steal a cupcake. Why? Just buy the fucking cupcake. It’s fifty cents.
