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  • What Happened to Saturday Morning Cartoons? – Cinemassacre

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bux83X6G99Y

    Without even watching the video, let me field this one for you, Jimmy.

    In the early to mid 1990s, the networks started scaling back on Saturday morning cartoons.  They blamed the increase of cable television as the reason.  I believe that The Cartoon Network existed by this time and there were references to Nickelodeon and shit like this.  Channels that showed children’s programming all day, every day.

    The networks said that they couldn’t compete.  So I believe that it was NBC who was the first network to eliminate cartoons on Saturday.  For a while, they just had adolescent fare like Saved By the Bell and California Dreams and shit like this.  Then they moved to putting news programs on Saturday morning.  The other two networks, CBS and ABC, quickly followed suit.

    In fact, none of this was about not being able to compete, it was about money, of course.  These networks thought that they could make more money by putting news on Saturdays instead of cartoons.  Cartoons are fairly expensive to produce.

    I was in high school when all of this went down so it wasn’t too traumatic for me.  But I remember when it ended.

    So let’s see what Rainman has to say.  Is it going to be Jimmy in a baseball cap in front of a green screen?  I sure hope so.  What’s more entertaining than that?

    0:00 – “Do you remember Saturday morning cartoons?”

    Ummm…yes.  Weren’t you paying attention, you autistic fuck?

    0:15 – Then he gives examples of the kind of cartoons you’d see on Saturday mornings.  The Flintstones, the Jetsons, Scooby Doo, Woody Woodpecker, Pink Panther, Popeye…”

    What?  NONE of these were on Saturday mornings in my lifetime.  Or Jimmy’s.  We’re about the same age.  What the fuck is this?  Why are THESE the examples?  These are all OLD cartoons.

    I’ve seen them.  I’ve seen all of these cartoons.  Not so much Pink Panther, I’ve seen a little of that.  But I wasn’t watching them on Saturday mornings.  I don’t know where I’d see them.  Sunday mornings?  

    Now that I think about it, MAYBE Scooby Doo was on Saturday afternoons but I don’t think that it was on any of the three networks that Jimmy is talking about.  

    What the fuck is this bullshit?  Mike does the same thing.  Did Mike write this?  These old cartoons were not shown on Saturday morning by CBS, NBC, or ABC from the years 1984 to 1992.  I don’t give a fuck what Mike or Jimmy say.  They’re just straight up lying.  

    Then he gives Alvin and the Chipmunks as an example.  Was this shown on Saturday mornings?  I’ve seen it somewhere but I don’t recall it being on Saturday mornings.  I’m thinking it was on Nickelodeon.  Maybe it was also on Saturday mornings but before my time.

    Smurfs is his next example.  Yeah.  Fine.  Smurfs.  Why is Smurfs the fucking EIGHTH example?  We have to endure seven bullshit, made up, lies before we get to an ACTUAL cartoon that was shown on Saturday morning television in Jimmy’s lifetime.

    Care Bears.  Okay.  Fine.  Probably.  I never watched it.

    Fraggle Rock.  No.  This isn’t even a fucking cartoon, Jimmy.  It’s a puppet show.  And it was shown on HBO.  I don’t know at what time because I didn’t have HBO.  What the fuck is wrong with this guy?  Is he just reading this?  Is this a script prepared by Mike Matei?  And why does Mike Matei have this completely insane idea of what Saturday morning cartoons were all about?

    Danger Mouse.  NO.  Fuck you, Jimmy.  I never saw this in my life but it was on Nickelodeon.  It’s some weird British cartoon.  NEVER on network television on Saturday mornings.

    California Raisins.  I think so but this is before my time.  And I’m two years older than Jimmy.  So how does he remember it.  I certainly never watched this.

    Captain N.  Yeah, that was Saturday mornings but it took me a while to remember.  

    Why didn’t he mention the popular cartoons from the era that were shown on Saturday mornings?  Snorks.  Gummi Bears.  Muppet Babies.  Garfield.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Even fucking Bugs Bunny.  Why didn’t he mention the fucking Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show?  That thing had been on Saturday mornings since the 1960s.  That’s a LEGITIMATE old cartoon that they would show.  The ONLY old cartoon that they would show in Jimmy’s lifetime.

    Where the fuck did he come up with Popeye and shit like that?  No.  Absolutely not.  Not on Saturday mornings.  Not on network television.  

    “There were so many, it felt like a blur.”

    Yeah.  Clearly.  Clearly you did not research this.  He’s just mentioning cartoons that he’s seen with no regard to whether or not it was on Saturday mornings on network television.  

    I’ve seen The Flintstones and The Jetsons and all of this shit.  But when and where, I can’t exactly remember.  But I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t Saturday mornings on network television.  Even if it was, which I don’t think it was, I wouldn’t regard these as Saturday morning cartoons.  They were not made for Saturday morning cartoons.  I believe that they were originally broadcast in the evenings, at least The Flintstones, and in the 1960s.  Come on.  Fuck off.  

    And Popeye?  I think that I’d watch this before going to school.  Really old, probably public domain cartoons.  These were originally released in theatres, of course.  They’re not Saturday morning cartoons.

    Let me check Reddit.  Are these faggots calling him out on this or are they just commenting on “no time” and how Jimmy is bald and how sexy Bootsy is?

    No, it’s just braindead “memes”.  If you want intelligent discussion about Cinemassacre, it’s GamerGrrls or nowhere.  Those faggots on Reddit are too busy jacking each other off and eating the jizz.

    0:45 – Jimmy says that he doesn’t remember hearing the term “Saturday morning cartoons.”  How?  Every year, they would promote the new cartoons.  Something like this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7P6Fk5PdzI

    Every network would do it.  Every year.  It was a big event.  I can’t remember if they were shown in the evenings or on Saturday mornings.  They would advertise the upcoming year’s lineup of Saturday morning cartoons.  

    “I do remember watching cartoons on Saturday mornings but I also remember watching cartoons on Sunday mornings.  I think.”

    You fucking retard.  He didn’t research this AT ALL.  That’s why he’s just naming random cartoons.  All of that shit, The Jestons, Popeye, Woody Woodpecker, NOT SATURDAYS.  These are just cartoons that he remembers watching.  

    God, this is so fucking bad.  Jimmy can fuck right off with this zero effort bullshit.

    “Sometimes even weekday mornings before school and definitely after school.”

    Yeah.  Who gives a shit?  This is about SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS.

    I mean, he’s showing footage of fucking Batman: The Animated Series during this.  IT’S TOTALLY IRRELEVANT, JIMMY.  

    1:00 – “I remember Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales, and Tiny Toons.”

    Duck Tales and Tiny Toons were shown on weekday afternoons.  Fuck you, you fucking retard.

    Now, you might say, “Hey, why are you raging over cartoons here?”  BECAUSE HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS!  HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT CARTOONS WERE BEING SHOWN ON SATURDAY MORNINGS.  HE’S JUST TALKING ABOUT ANY CARTOON THAT HE SAW AS A CHILD.

    If you want to do a video on cartoons that you enjoyed as a child, by all means do so.  But this is supposed to be about SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS.  They’re their own thing.  

    He’s giving blatantly false information.  People who are younger than Jimmy are going to watch this and say, “Oh, these were all Saturday morning cartoons.  Interesting.  I had no idea.”  No.  He’s full of shit.  He’s a moron.  His brain is mush.

    1:15 – “So I wanted to look back at this tradition that I somehow participated in but wasn’t really aware.”

    Boy, is this accurate.  Jimmy doesn’t have a fucking clue.  And this is the video.  It’s a video about a retarded man talking about something that he doesn’t even remember.  He admits this.  He admits that he doesn’t remember anything about Saturday morning cartoons.  And it shows.  I’m not even at the 90 second mark and I’ve already written a short story length piece about everything that’s wrong with this video.

    “Saturday mornings were a giant mix of various shows.”

    And he shows a promotional thing from Fox Kids.  Fox was not doing Saturday morning television.  The cartoons in this promo were all shown on weekday afternoons.  This is fucking terrible.

    1:30 – “Star Wars: Ewoks.  Anyone remember that?”

    No.  Let me look this up.  This is some bullshit from before his time, I’ll bet.

    1985 to 1986.  James would have been five or six.  MAYBE he remembers this.  Maybe.  I certainly don’t.

    Then he’s showing footage from Rambo and Robocop cartoons.  Were these on Saturday mornings?  I’ve never seen either of these.  

    No.  Both Rambo and Robocop were shown in syndication so it could have been at any time, depending on where you lived, but it wasn’t on network tv so it wasn’t a Saturday morning cartoon.  

    Fucking retard Jimmy over here.

    1:45 – Teen Wolf.  Yes, Teen Wolf is an actual Saturday morning cartoon.  Holy shit.  We actually got one.  By sheer luck.

    Then he just talks about the fucking movie.  What is this shit?  

    2:30 – Tales from the Crypt Keeper.  I think that this was also a Saturday morning cartoon.  Jimmy is on a roll here.  Two for two.  Let’s keep it going.

    And he immediately just starts talking about the HBO live action show.  CARTOONS, JIMMY.  We’re talking about cartoons here.  Remember cartoons?  I remember.  You sure as fuck do not.

    Beetlejuice.  Mmm…I think so but let me check.  Yeah.  It aired on ABC on Saturday mornings but also concurrently on Fox on weekday afternoons.  That’s why I wasn’t sure.  I never watched it, by the way.  It was shit.

    Then Jimmy immediately talks about the movie, of course.

    Hey…Jimmy.  If you want to talk about movies, talk about movies.  But this video is supposed to be about cartoons.  SATURDAY MORNING cartoons.

    3:45 – Real Ghostbusters.  A Saturday morning cartoon, yes.  Is he going to mention any cartoons not based on films?

    Then he talks about the movie.  Of course.

    4:45 – Quick shout outs to The Addams Family, Punky Brewster, Bill and Ted.  I think that all of those are Saturday morning cartoons.  I never watched them.

    5:00 – “Even Flintstone Kids, which was already a cartoon to begin with.”

    Jimmy can’t wrap his special education brain around this one.  Making child versions of tv shows was popular at the time.  It started with Muppet Babies.  Then you had The Flintstone Kids and there was also a Scooby Doo version where they were children.  A Pup Named Scooby Doo.

    5:15 – Jimmy claims that Muppet Babies inspired him.  Oh, do tell.  “It made me want to use my own imagination and sometimes imitated the things that I’d see them do.”

    So…doing something that you saw somebody else do is “using your imagination”.  Let’s just move on.

    6:30 – Pee Wee’s Playhouse.  It was on Saturday mornings but this was not a cartoon.  Come on.  There were plenty of actual cartoons that were shown on network television on Saturday mornings.  

    6:45 – Garfield and Friends.  Saturday morning cartoon.

    Then he immediately talks about the comic strip…

    7:45 – “The other half of the show, that I didn’t care for as much, was Orson’s Farm or US Acres or whatever the hell it’s called.”

    US Acres, Jimmy.  Think that you could have done some research?  It was also a short-lived comic strip.  You could have talked about the comic strip here.  

    But no, US Acres was the superior cartoon over Garfield.  Jimmy just couldn’t get into it because he only watches things that were well-known licensed properties.  He can’t appreciate something on its own merits.

    8:00 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  He says that this started as a weekday cartoon but in season four was shown on Saturday mornings.  This seems right but who can tell with Jimmy?  He doesn’t know anything about this shit.  

    Then he immediately talks about how he preferred the live action movies.  This is fucking horrendous.

    8:30 – “The show had a long run.  What can you say about Ninja Turtles?”

    What can YOU say?  Nothing.  Not a single fucking thing.  But a more knowledgeable person can probably talk at some length about the cartoon.

    9:00 – He talks about Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue.  It’s an anti-drugs PSA.  I just watched this maybe six months ago for reasons that I can’t remember.  It was pretty weird.  I vaguely remember this as a kid.  Maybe.

    10:15 – “So good times.  Those were the days, right?  Well, that’s the sentiment, that Saturday morning cartoons are gone.  I guess they’re gone because otherwise we wouldn’t be looking back at them.”

    Oh my god.  He doesn’t even know that they’re gone.  It was a huge fucking story in the early to mid 1990s.  Where the fuck was he?  Where has he been SINCE the early to mid 1990s?  He hasn’t noticed that Saturday morning cartoons aren’t being aired any more?  He has children.  

    Then he checks the current television listings for the networks on Saturday morning.  I can’t fucking believe this.  Does he not know this?  Does he think that Saturday morning cartoons are still being shown?  No.  It’s news.  That’s what he’s showing.  They’re showing news now.  

    Has he been in a coma for the past 30 years?  What the fuck is this?

    “But if you go to the other networks like Disney, Disney Junior, Disney XD, Nickelodeon, Nick Jr, Nick Toons, Universal Kids, Cartoon Network, then there’s plenty of cartoons.”

    Those are not networks, Jimmy.  He doesn’t know the basic fucking terminology.  A “network” was so-called because it was a network of different channels all across the country who agreed to show the same programming.  So you had The Dumont Network, CBS, NBC, and ABC.  Later, you had Fox and the WB and UPN and then whatever WB and UPN became when they merged.  These are the networks.  These are the only networks.  The Dumont Network went out of business 70 years ago or whatever.  But when people talk about “network tv”, this is what they’re talking about.

    What Jimmy was describing were cable tv channels.  You can only get these channels if you pay a subscription to your cable company.  At least this was historically how it was done.  I don’t know how it’s done today.

    There’s also syndication television.  These are those weird local stations that you used to be able to get and maybe still can get.  They show whatever cheap programming they can get.  Old episodes of What’s Happening or whatever.  Some show Spanish language programming.  Shit like this.  These are also the channels where cartoons like Rambo and Robocop were shown.  But it depends if your local channel bought the rights to the show or not.  

    11:15 – Jimmy starts talking about Svengoolie for NO REASON AT ALL.  He’s the host of some horror movies on MeTV, which I believe was a syndicated channel, or at least was when I was living in the US.  Maybe it’s a cable channel now.  

    13:00 – Jimmy cites the rise of DVDs as a reason why Saturday morning cartoons ceased to exist.  No.  DVDs came out YEARS later.  

    That’s the video.  This was shockingly bad.  Pure ignorance.  It was nothing but misinformation.  Twenty minutes of misinformation.  

    He talked about cartoons that weren’t even shown on Saturday morning network television.  And everything that he did mention that was legitimately a Saturday morning cartoon, they were all animated spin offs from live action movies.  This is dogshit.  Total dogshit.  

    Why make a video when you don’t know jack shit about the topic and don’t want to put any research AT ALL into it?  

    – “Can we all just appreciate how legendary James is? Such a great content creator.”

    These Youtube comments have to be made up.  Nobody can possibly think these things.

  • Crystal Quin "Always" "Forgets" about Lowe's Free Scrap Wood

     https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1573733747295485959

    “Why do I always forget about Lowes free scrap wood???? Reminding those that need it or didn’t know it existed.”

    What the fuck does she need scrap wood for?  And I don’t think that this is some kind of official program that Lowe’s wants advertised.  It’s just something that her local Lowe’s does to appease the homeless.  “Here.  Take your scrap wood and get the fuck out.”

    Let me look this up.  Is there actually an official program to get rid of scrap wood?

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Lowes/comments/jz0414/do_you_have_any_bigger_pieces_of_scrap_wood/

    Certainly not according to this Lowe’s employee.  He, rightly, gives it to these fucking hobos who are begging for wood.  WHO BEGS FOR WOOD?  Well, maybe they need something to burn in their trashcans to keep warm.

    I see absolutely no mention, anywhere on the internet, that Lowes gives away scrap wood for free.  What I do see are a lot of thread from beggars asking if Lowe’s or Home Depot or whatever do this, and the responses that they’re getting is always, “No.  They throw their scrap wood away.”

    I’m reminded of a story I heard in high school.  I knew a guy who worked at Dunkin Donuts.  He was a classmate.  And he said that his store used to throw out the old doughnuts but then the manager found out that homeless people were taking the doughnuts from the trash and eating them.  So the manager told everyone to cut all of the doughnuts up and soak them in water before throwing them out.  

    This is the same thing that Horseface is doing.  She’s going through her local Lowe’s dumpster for free shit.  And encouraging other people to do it despite the fact that there’s no fucking policy from Lowe’s to give scrap wood away for free.  That’s just her local store being “kind”.  The manager of her local Lowe’s obviously wants to have sex with Horseface, as everybody does, and is allowing her to take free scrap wood in an effort to get a date out of this.

    What that Lowe’s needs to start doing is running this scrap wood through a wood chipper and pouring water all over it before throwing it away.  That would keep fucking hobos like Horseface away from the store.

    By the way, of course it’s disgusting that this Dunkin Donuts ruined the doughnuts before throwing them out.  Even the guy who told the story knew that it was the wrong thing to do.

    I have a vague childhood memory of seeing a sign for “free palettes”.  We would drive by this sign regularly.  I didn’t know what it was at the time but it was obviously some kind of industrial site and they used palettes a lot and they would give away the ones that were getting worn.  Homeless people and the like would take them off their hands.  It probably cost money to recycle them or whatever so it’s just cheaper to give them away.

    I can understand people wanting scrap wood for art projects or whatever but how many people are doing art projects that require scrap wood?  The vast majority of people looking for free scrap wood must be the homeless and they’re using it for firewood.  What else can it be?  How many people need scrap wood?  There must be way more supply than demand.

    Anyway, Kris Glavin didn’t reply to that tweet.  Can you blame him?  He’s not into fucking…what’s another word for “hobo”?  Ha.  “Tramp”.  Well, that applies to Horseface in two ways now.

    What else has old Horseface been up to?  I mean…god, isn’t it fucking embarrassing going up to an employee of Lowe’s and asking for free scrap wood?  They’ve got other stuff to do.  They have to attend to PAYING customers.  They don’t want to deal with fucking bums.

    Oh, her Fansly comments are public.  That’s odd.  She’ll probably hide comments now that I’m writing about it.

    https://fansly.com/post/430139307550842880

    “Fall is here! What kind of sexy Halloween cosplay should I do?”

    – “Something that shows off your feet”

    Uh huh.  I don’t get that but…there’s loads that I don’t understand about people’s attraction to Horseface.  To each their own, I guess.

    Somebody wants Elvira.  Horseface doesn’t have tits.

    Cammy from Street Fighter.  I…is that character even particularly sexy?  

    Here’s a vote for Underworld.  What even is that?  

    Oh.  Some game from 20 years ago about vampires and shit.

    – “Janine but the Real Ghostbusters version.”

    Why does he specify the cartoon version?  Didn’t the woman in the movie look pretty similar to the cartoon version?  

    Yeah.  And the cartoon version is based on the character in the movie, of course.  

    He wants bright red hair, I guess.  That’s his thing.  Regular auburn doesn’t work for him.

    – “The Blob! But a sexy blob! lol. Sorry just trolling.”

    That would be a good suggestion for Johanna’s Fansly.

    And I don’t like making comments like this.  I really don’t.  But this woman is presenting herself as a sex symbol.  Come on.  250 pound Johanna?  Fuck off.  Only the completely deranged are going to pay for that shit.

    – “As you look great as dc girls,id go for michelle pfeiffer catwoman :)”

    Uh huh.  This was a big fetish thirty years ago.  The Catwoman costume from Batman Returns.  This guy is still stuck on this.

    – “Naked jigsaw”

    Isn’t the character a guy?  Yeah.  Well…Horseface does look pretty masculine.  Maybe she could pull it off.

    Here’s a vote for Frankenhooker.  I think that this is another character from 30+ years ago.  

    Yeah.  You can tell the age of these people by what their fetishes are.  The earliest stuff that you jerk off to stays with you for your whole life.  If there were any 80 year olds on Horseface’s Fansly, they’d be asking her to dress up as Sophia Loren from “Era lui, si! si!” and Calamity Jane and shit like that.  

    – “Sexy guy from basket case”

    Another vote from the homosexual community.  Why are so many gay men attracted to Horseface?  I think that we know the answer.

    – “Sexy krueger? Sexy Carrie (after she gets covered in blood and goes mental)”

    What about the period scene?  If you’re going to be a creep, go all out.  And she’s asking.  She’s asking the horntards, “What degenerate tits and gore shit should I dress up as?”  So period scene Carrie.  With real blood.  We can wait.  

    Anyway, hopefully this Fansly thing works out for Horseface so that she can start just buying the wood instead of begging for it.  It’s only like ten bucks for a big fucking piece of lumber.  

  • The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya Trailer – Bobdunga/Ray Mona

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFmgBo41IV0

    What even is this?  It’s one minute and eleven seconds of Bobdunga taking close up videos of one of her toys.  This is insane, it’s pretentious, and it tells us NOTHING about ANYTHING.  

    I had to look it up.  Saint Seiya is an anime.  I guess.  There were seven tv series and six movies.  There were also a bunch of comic books or “manga”, if you prefer.

    If you’d like to learn more, consult Wikipedia.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Seiya

    So…The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya is an unreleased…movie or tv show?  I guess?  It’s nowhere on the Wikipedia article and I couldn’t find anything from a quick DuckDuckGo search.

    There’s something to be said about trailers just giving a little tease and leaving you wanting more but…I don’t give a shit about this.  At all.  

    It’s just going to be another stupid video from crazy Bobdunga where she goes all X-Files on us, interviews some shadowy people who don’t give a shit about any of this, and then the thing turns out to be in The Library of Congress.  She’ll describe the entire process in minute detail down to what she had for breakfast each day.  And her and her Youtube pals will talk about what idiots the audience are.  Right there in the video.  Oh, and she’ll insert a lot of footage of ladyboys into the video for no apparent reason.

    There is a lot of lost media out there so maybe Saint Dungalous is on to something.  But you don’t have to limit yourself to fucking anime.  

    I’d like to see the entire series of The Super released.  The only footage that seems to exist is this poor-quality intro on Youtube:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzwiZZ7nbrE

    It was never released on any physical media, as far I’m aware.  It’s not on Youtube.  It’s not on the pirate sites.  Indeed, according to the Lost Media Archive, there’s no footage anywhere.

    https://lostmediaarchive.fandom.com/wiki/The_Super_(Lost_1972_ABC_Sitcom)

    But that’s just one of many, many examples of tv shows that don’t exist any more.  There was a similar show in the late 1980s or early 1990s that starred a very famous, very Jewish actor but I can’t remember his name or the name of the show.  The show only lasted a few episodes before it was cancelled.  

    Chicken Soup.  That’s what I was thinking of.  Where can I watch this?  Nowhere, according to a quick search.  All I can find is the opening.  

    Oh.  I found the last half of the pilot episode on Daily Motion.  But where’s the rest?  I guarantee that you can not find the entire series anywhere on the internet.  Maybe there’s some obsessive Chicken Soup fan out there who has them all in his personal VHS collection but he’s not releasing it.

    Or what about Hooperman?  I’m just naming shows that sound similar.  The Super, Chicken Soup, Hooperman.  They all have the “ooh” sound in them.  But show me the complete collection of Hooperman.  You can’t find it.  Lost media.

    And this was a fucking John Ritter show.  People like John Ritter.  And it lasted a couple of years.  It was from the late 1980s.  All you can find is the opening.  People really seem to like to save the opening theme song for shows but not the actual shows.

    It’s not even really about how old the shows are.  There are plenty of shows from the 1980s, 1990s, probably even 2000s that you just can’t find anywhere.  

    Nerd shit always gets preserved.  Star Trek was probably the first show to be uploaded to the internet.  Some nerd in his mother’s basement.  It has never been difficult to find any of that shit.  Star Trek (all series), Twillight Zone, even more obscure stuff like Babylon Five or Sliders or whatever.  If it’s some nerdy science fiction shit, you can easily find it on the internet, no matter how obscure.  Because the nerds are interested in this shit.

    Nerds don’t care about Chicken Soup.  So it’s gone.

    Obviously, the further you go back, the more likely it is that footage no longer exists.  There are many tens or hundreds of thousands of forgotten tv shows.  

    Virtually all game shows don’t exist.  Even fairly modern stuff.  Show me the entire run of The Price is Right.  I want to watch every single episode.  Can’t be done.  Nobody has it.  

    Same with soap operas.  You might think that people would want to see that . Well, maybe they do but nobody recorded all of that shit.  Or if they did, they haven’t put it on the internet.  There must be loads of people who want to watch the 12 June 1992 episode of Days of Our Lives but they’re just fucked.  The episode isn’t available.

    Talk shows, same thing.  I want to watch the Tempestt Bledsoe (Vanessa from The Cosby Show) talk show where she did an episode on “bra makeovers”.  She did a lot of “bra makeover” episodes, actually.  But I can’t.  No footage exists.

    Or what about Tony Danza’s short-lived talk-show.  Not available anywhere.

    And it’s not just obscure shit.  I want to watch every episode of The Jerry Springer Show.  Or Donahue.  I can’t.  

    Any daytime shit is just considered disposable.  Even the people who produced this shit likely don’t have it.  Maybe they re-used tapes or whatever so the footage is just gone.  

    But also stuff like The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  I believe that Johnny Carson was upset to learn that they recorded over his shows so he started making his own archive of shows.  But as a result of recording over shows or whatever, loads of that shit is gone.

    David Letterman’s videos only exist because an autistic weirdo named Don Giller recorded every episode.  He’s apparently working for David Letterman now.  Here’s his channel.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/dongiller

    That guy is a giant fucking asshole to everybody who ever leaves a comment.  He has extreme autism.  But it’s this extreme autism that lead him to record every episode.

    Nevertheless, this is just this guy’s personal archive.  He hasn’t uploaded anywhere near his entire collection on to the internet.  As far as I’m aware, the vast majority of it is just on VHS tapes.  

    Local news broadcasts are another example of lost media.  Even national news broadcasts.  If I want to watch a particular episode of ABC World News Tonight starring Peter Jennings from 1988, is it available anywhere?  I don’t think so.

    Locally-produced children’s television is mostly gone. 

    And this is just American stuff.  The non-American stuff, virtually all of it, it’s gone.  

    You can go on and on and on.  There’s loads of lost media.  So I suggest that Bobdunga focus her “journalistic” efforts on some of this shit.  Fuck anime.  There are enough nerds out there already who are preserving anime.  You don’t have to worry about anime.  Every anime that has ever been produced is out there and fairly easy to access.

    ,

  • Crystal Quin Likes Jeffrey Dahmer

     https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1572711667406086145

    “Anyone else excited this came out today???”

    And she links to a Jeffrey Dahmer movie or something.

    She’s made references in the past to her fondness for serial killers.  She also demonstrated a superficial, at best, knowledge of these serial killers.

    But she knows that this is something that degenerates who are interested in horror shit pretend to like so she’s pretending to like serial killers.

    Just add this to your list of reasons why Horseface is a detestable person.  

    Not even Kris Glavin replied to this tweet.  He presumably also finds this shit repellent.  Smokeshow or not, there’s nothing sexy about aggrandising murderers.  

    People who are interested in Halloween are always extreme bores.  Horseface does this a lot.  She’s all about Halloween.  Or pretends to be.  It’s some kind of a replacement for a personality.

    I knew a guy in high school who was really into Halloween.  He was gay.  SUPER gay.  So that’s another thing.  Guys who are into Halloween are often really, really gay.  They like the dressing up aspect of the holiday.  It’s the one day of the year they can wear makeup without risking insulting comments and the like from the less enlightened members of society.

    I wonder what that guy’s doing now.  Probably getting fucked in the ass.  

    Well, I suppose that we have to talk about Jeffrey Dahmer but I do this under duress.  Nobody is uploading anything and I’m out of emergency articles.

    I read a comic book about him called My Friend Dahmer.  It was about his life in high school.  Some guy who went to school with him wrote it.  It was alright.  I think that they also made it into a movie or something.  I didn’t see it.

    A lot of the reviews for this comic book on Goodreads are critical of the author for “bullying” Dahmer.  I didn’t get this at all when reading this.  I suspect that these people are just the sort of lunatics, like Horseface, who idolise serial killers.

    These are the type of people who would read something like this, after all.  I only read it because my girlfriend mentioned that she saw the movie based on the comic book and found Dahmer to be a strange guy.  Yeah.  He was an odd fellow.  You needed to watch the movie to figure that out?  

    Anyway, I didn’t want to watch the movie so I read the comic book instead.  

    Here’s a more life-affirming comic that I read and enjoyed:

    https://www.topshelfcomix.com/ts2.0/guts

    It’s about a guy who was on that 1990s Nickelodeon gameshow Guts.  It’s amusing and well done.

    I watched Guts regularly but my problem with the show is that the Aggro Crag, which is the final event, scores you so many points that it doesn’t even matter how you did during the events.  You can lose every event and if you win the Aggro Crag, you win the whole fucking game.  So the events are meaningless.

    Actually, let me check this.  I’m sure that this isn’t 100% accurate.

    So there are four events before the Aggro Crag.  You get 300 points for first place, 200 for second, and 100 for third.

    Then there’s the Aggro Crag.  You get 725 for first place, 550 for second, 275 for third.

    Let’s say that you go in with last place in every event and somebody else gets first place in every event.  That would put you at 400 points and the person in first place at 1200 points.

    Then if you win the Aggro Crag that would put you at 1125 total and if the person in first place got last place, they’d be at 1575 points.

    So no.  It’s not quite as extreme as I thought.  

    Wikipedia says, “The increased point structure in the final event allows players overcome a deficit of as much as 300 points to win, despite earlier mistakes.”

    I’d like to see a breakdown on winners based on gender.  Because it seemed like guys almost always won.  It’s what you would expect.

    And it’s not even really about any physical advantages because these kids were like 11 to 13 years old.  But I would watch the show and you could see that the girls just didn’t have a competitive mentality.  They didn’t care about winning.  So they went out and had fun and whatever happens happens.  But the guys would go out there with the intention of winning.  It makes a huge difference.

    I’m not making any judgement here, it’s just an observation.  

    I remember playing dodgeball against the girls during recess.  Usually, the girls were on a different playground but that playground wasn’t available so we all were the same playground.  This was in the fifth grade so we would have been like 10 or 11 years old.

    It was a complete massacre.  The girls just screamed and ran in terror every time we had the ball.  I think that it was a shut out.  They didn’t get ANYBODY out.  

    Then afterwards, the teacher, who was a woman and watching all of this, said that we can’t play with the girls any more.  She described it as, “The most ridiculous game of dodgeball I’ve ever seen.”

    I don’t want to make any parallels to transgender athletes or anything but these are just things that we all know.  It’s farcical for boys to compete against girls in any kind of sporting activity.  Obviously more so for men versus women.

    Has it happened since Guts?  Or before?  I remember even at the time thinking that it’s insane.  Of course the guys are going to win.  

  • Monty Python and the Elden Ring – Cannot be Tamed

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFYf9DW0X2E

    More of the baffling comedy stylings of Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  This is her second video of the week.  She never posts more than once a week.  She must have thought that this was really, really funny.  She just couldn’t wait.  

    It’s a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and she sort of marries up game footage to the scene.  The game is Elden Ring.  

    I’ve never seen any Monty Python.  That stuff has never remotely interested me.  Indeed, I’ve always been repelled by it.  Maybe it’s good.  I don’t know.  But I’m never going to watch that stuff.  It always struck me as hugely pretentious.  

    Anyway, the comments are overwhelmingly supportive.  People talk about how funny this video is and some nerds give Monty Python quotes.  These comments are in stark contrast to the videos where Pam does compilations of her “funny” moments on stream.  Those comments are largely along the, “Ummm…keep up the good work, I guess.  You’re so hot.” variety.  People are trying to be supportive because they jerk off to Pam but they’re totally bamboozled by the video and its purported comedy.

    This video at least makes sense.  And if you’re familiar with and enjoy the source material, you can probably appreciate it more.  

    There’s nothing going on with her Twitter.  Nothing on Instagram.  Let’s check out her defunct blog.  Maybe I can get some tips.

    https://cannotbetamedblog.wordpress.com/

    She stopped doing the blog in 2016.  It seems like she mostly talked about video games and promoted her various stuff.  Youtube and the god awful Media Maven/Harpie Maidens podcast that she did.

    She seems to do that annoying thing where she puts a bunch of pictures in the blog.  Like in the body of the article, there will be random pictures.  This is a common thing that one sees on blogs but I hate it.  It’s so insulting.  Like I’m some fucking moron who needs pictures every so often to keep me engaged.

    I did this for posts where I analyse Erin’s subscriber count and whatnot from SocialBlade and I also did it for the “casserole” article.  As here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/02/casserole-full-breakdown-erin-plays.html

    I suppose that these are some of the more interesting articles but the pictures are germane to the article.  Not just random bullshit like you see in so many blogs, including Pam’s.  But I don’t put pictures in much because it too much work, frankly.  And I would never just put random pictures in because it’s stupid.

    https://cannotbetamedblog.wordpress.com/2016/05/24/the-problem-with-patreon/

    In this article, she complains about people who don’t like Patreon.  This was a big thing in 2016, when Pam wrote this.  People didn’t much care for it.  Now it seems like nobody cares if you have a Patreon or not.  In 2016, people were concerned that all of the good content was going to be Patreon exclusive stuff.  But now we see what happened.  The stuff that gets posted on Patreon is just trash that nobody wants to see.  Patreon exists solely so that horntards have an outlet to piss their money away.

    So in the article, Pam says that she lost 17 subscribers when she did a video advertising her Patreon.  Who gives a shit?  Seventeen subscribers?  She wrote a whole fucking article about this.

    Anyway, I don’t think that Pam even has a Patreon now.  It’s not on her Linktree.

    https://linktr.ee/cannotbetamed

    Oh, she links to it in the article.  Here it is:

    https://www.patreon.com/pamd

    She has 196 “patrons” and she’s getting about $350/month.  Not sure how that works because the only tier is $1/month.  Or £1/month.  Or probably 1 CAD/month.  Still…I’m thinking that some people are giving more than $1 or whatever a month.  How else could 196 people giving one of whatever their local currency is equal $350?

    She’s still posting there.  One low-effort video a month.  Like clockwork.  They’re mostly about her plans for the month.  Who cares?

  • WTF Wednesday Review: PEARL – Newt Wallen

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPAW0RyDphg

    0:00 – It starts with this woman smoking.  Get used to this.  She smokes and drinks for the entire 27 minute video.  

    Where does Newt find these scumbags?  The VD clinic?  

    Can’t she put the fucking vape pen and the drink down for just 27 minutes?  Why does she think that we want to see this?  And hear this?  

    She must think that this looks cool.  I guess.  “Look at me not giving a fuck at how much of a scumbag I look like”.  

    You know, some people smoke to lose weight.  That doesn’t seem to be working here.  Maybe because it’s balanced out by whatever the fuck she’s drinking for the entire 27 minutes.

    She introduces herself as Kammy.  Newt says that he’s known this scumbag for over a decade.  

    0:30 – Newt says that he wanted to see X (whatever that is) at the cinema that he worked at but management refused, stating that it’s porn.  Newt disputes that it’s porn.  No.  I’m guessing that it’s porn.  But Newt is just all about tits and gore and, in his mind, he elevates this trash to something more than it is.

    And he says that he wanted to see this pornographic film with this fucking scumbag Cammy.  Who goes to a porn movie on a date?  Travis Bickle over here.

    By the way, here’s the description of X from Wikipedia, “The film’s plot follows a cast and crew who gather to make a pornographic film on an elderly couple’s rural Texas property, but find themselves threatened by an unlikely killer.”

    “It’s not about a porn” according to Newt.

    0:45 – If anybody can decipher this story from Cammy, let me know.  I can not understand a fucking word of this.

    Also, she’s…I don’t know…mixed race?  Hispanic?  

    1:45 – So she’s talking about X.  I have no idea what any of this is, by the way.  Pearl seems to be a movie that’s somehow related to X.  I guess.  I don’t know.

    “I thought X was great.  Like I said, it’s just — I like how the A-24 movies are really delving deep into the psyche of, like, how women are.  You know, I don’t want to drop the feminist card.”

    Yeah.  This is a real feminist over here.  Pornographic films are really exploring the female psyche.  I’d like to hear her views on the feminist overtones of Big Boob Bangaroo 4.

    And to anyone wondering what A-24 is, I have no fucking idea and I don’t give a shit.  It’s some stupid tits and gore shit, presumably.

    2:00 – Newt says, “I used to tell people that Midsummer was Joker for white ladies.”

    Newt, I’m sorry to inform you that you’re a white man.  

    The problem seems to be that Newt conflates whiteness with wealth.  No.  You can find white people in all socio-economic classes.  

    Newt is a member of the lumpenproletariat.  Most of the women he knows are likewise members of the lumpenproletariat.  And white.  So…I don’t know.  He just lacks the intellect to separate race from socio-economic class.

    7:45 – This fat chick is talking about some hot actor in the movie.  Well…it makes a slight change from Horseface’s tedious bullshit.  Different gender.

    8:15 – Newt starts talking about his deep knowledge about pornography.  “The stag film he shows her is called Deep Ride.  It’s the oldest still-existing stag film in history.  When I was in film school, we actually talked about that.”

    It’s sad that Newt thinks that he learned something in that film school.  He went tens of thousands of dollars in debt to watch porn.  Why?  This shit is free on the internet.  

    Pause at 8:51.  Newt is wearing some kind of pearl bracelet.  What the fuck?  Is Newt going to be a sexy lady now too?  Like Ryan Schott?  Anything for attention.

    13:00 – Kammy says that she’s Puerto Rican.  Yeah.  The giant hoop earrings lead me to think that she was Hispanic as opposed to mixed race.

    I wonder why giant hoop earrings are so popular in the Hispanic community.  And it’s been like this since I was a kid.  It’s just a classic, enduring look, I guess.  

    13:45 – In the chat, during the “premiere”, Newt says, “I want to be a 1970s Puerto rican disco queen.”

    Well…you’ve got the jewellery for it, Ideas Man.  Follow your dream.

    And I wonder how far down the neckline of this woman’s top goes.  To her naval?  Lower?  Is this just completely open?  Is this a jacket?  I don’t know.

    17:45 – “I’ve never known anyone whose gone above and beyond to try to make people like them and wind up losing everything so I don’t really know anything about that.”

    What?  You mean plagiarising for an autistic man’s Youtube channel?

    God.  Newt is such a victim.  Newt plagiarised and HE’S the victim.  Newt thinks that he was doing a GOOD thing by plagiarising.  He’s somehow justified all of this.  It’s insane but in his mind, he did the right thing by plagiarising those Monster Madness videos and it’s everyone else who’s a scumbag for not appreciating his plagiarism.

    And this woman looks uncomfortable as fuck when Newt is saying this weird shit.  Then she takes another sip of her beverage.  Of course.  This is what she’s been doing the whole fucking video.  

    18:45 – Newt claims that he’s “racist” because he doesn’t know the difference between crocodiles and alligators.  Everything is about race with Newt.  

    20:00 – This woman says, “I’ve done ghost writing work for horror movies.”

    Uh huh.  Ghost writing, you say.  So you didn’t get credit for any of these movies?  Oh.  Yeah, me too.  I ghost wrote Hoop Dreams.  That shit was all scripted.  By me.

    20:30 – She also recently became head chef of…somewhere.  Congratulations on the promotion.

    Oh.  It’s a haunted restaurant.  I see.  Well, let’s just move on.  Only six minutes to go.  I’m trying to power through.

    25:00 – Newt starts talking about having sex in the projection booth.  Fuck.  I don’t care.  I’m done with this shit.

    Comments.

    Nothing interesting.

    Let’s check out his Twitter.

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1572258780682788868

    “Drawing ever closer to November. And the release of the 1st 3 issues of #FloridaMan saves christmas #comicbooks #indiecomics #mutantfam”

    Oh yeah.  I forgot about that plagiarised crap.  

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1570801719738769408

    Creepy picture of Newt and his cat in bed.  I could have gone without seeing that.

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1569042153778585600

    Here’s the twice-weekly reminder of how Newt’s Youtube channel is doing.  Views and subscribers have slowed considerably but he’s still working on it.  He’s at 600,000 views.

    What do you want me to do, Newt?  I’m subscribed.  I also promote your videos on the world’s most popular Erin Plays blog.  What more can I do?  If you’re not getting views and subscribers, that’s not my fucking problem.  Maybe try putting out better videos.

  • My Boxed Game Collection – NES, SNES, N64 and more! – Erin Plays

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snIcNzUAMo0

    This is on her “Extras” channel.  Why?  This is the channel that she puts her Twitch streams on.  But this doesn’t look like it was done on Twitch.  

    I guess that she deemed this video so terrible that it wasn’t worthy of her normal channel.  So let’s check it out.  Erin is going to show her boxed video game collection.  She’s a big “gamer”.  I’m sure that she has an impressive collection.

    By the way, you can see Erin’s handheld game collection here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/11/my-handheld-collection-game-boy-gba.html

    It was shockingly unimpressive.  And I wasn’t going in there with high expectations.  I know that Erin is a fraud.  Even with these low expectations, it was shockingly unimpressive.

    0:00 – Oh, she’s wearing her stonewashed jean jacket.  The 90s!  It was the 1980s, actually, but let’s not ruin Erin’s *nostalgic* fun for things that happened before she was born.

    “Today I have something random that I just wanted to do on the spur of the moment.”

    Why not put some time and effort into the video instead?  Because that’s not how Erin rolls.  She puts no time or effort into anything.  This is how you become a 35 year old woman making fifty bucks a month.

    “Over the last few months, I’ve slowly been re-doing my game room area.”

    And she shows this closet that she streams from.  This is her “game room area”.  The closet that she streams from.

    0:30 – “This could get way out of hand and I should probably split this into parts.”

    She’s talking about how she’s only going to include NES, SNES, and Nintendo 64 games in this video.  The implication is that if she included her entire boxed video game collection, the video would be six hours long or whatever.  Give me a fucking break.  Enough with the lies.

    0:45 – Her first game is a Sailor Moon game.  Oh my fucking god.  I’m not going to comment on every game that she shows and pretends to know about but this is how she starts the fucking video.  It doesn’t bode well.

    She claims to have got this game when she was very young.  Uh huh.  So 30?

    2:00 – “I remember playing this for so many hours as a kid.”

    Uh huh.  Where’s the stream then?  Show us what a pro you are.  

    And she’s never mentioned playing this game even ONCE before.  The only games that Erin ever claims to have played as a child are Yoshi’s Island, some Barbie game, Revenge of Arcade, and Super Mario World at a friend’s house. That’s it.  Never mentioned: Sailor Moon.  I guess that Erin “always” “forgets” that she played this Sailor Moon game as a kid.

    2:15 – Castlevania IV for the Super Famicom.  She clearly purchased this after she started streaming.  With Mike’s money.  This is some new, idiotic thing that she’s doing.  She wants every Castlevania game even though the only time she has ever played any of the games is on stream, for money.  She openly admits that she never played any Castlevania game before she startred streaming.  This is a rare instance of Erin being honest.

    2:45 – “I’m not really a collector, I mean, I guess I am.”

    By what definition?  I suppose in the same way that she’s a “gamer”.  She plays video games, albeit only on stream, for money, so technically…she’s a “gamer”.  I guess.  

    This is actually the definition that Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining uses.  Somebody was complaining about fake gamer girls in the comments and Pam said that if you play video games, even if it’s just on Twitch or Youtube, you’re a real “gamer”.

    4:00 – Erin shows a “funny” drawing in the manual.  How was it funny?  I don’t know.  She doesn’t elaborate.  It was just funny.  Yuk it up, boys.

    4:45 – Classic Concentration.  I know I said that I wasn’t going to mention every game but she’s spending a lot of time on each game so I can do it.  At this rate, she’s only going to show about 15 games.  That’s her collection.  

    And this is a game that she only played on stream, for money.  Of course.  But she was all about it on that one stream that she played this game.  I think it might have even been two streams.  She thought that it was really cute.  

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/06/classic-concentration-and-wheel-of.html

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/06/classic-concentration-and-wheel-of_17.html

    She starts that stream by saying that she’s never seen the show before.  Of course.  

    Then she starts talking about what a fan she is of The Match Game and proceeds to get the name of the host BADLY wrong.  She “always” “forgets” the name of the host of The Match Game, I guess.

    And she’s only able to solve any of the puzzles because the horntards give her the answers.

    She’s a big Concentration fan.

    4:45 – “I love game show games on NES, especially if they’re made by GameTek.  I have so much fun, like I stream those a lot.”

    Uh huh.  What about playing them in your spare time, Erin?  Do you ever do that?  No.  Of course not.  The only time she plays video games is when she’s doing it on stream, for money.

    5:00 – She says that Mike got her this game because she said that she “needed” it.  

    Mike got ALL of these games.  How the fuck would she buy any of them?  With her fifty bucks a month?

    5:45 – “So Classic Concentration.  I believe that it was on tv before I was born.  Well, this says 1990.  Okay, so I was very young.  I don’t remember.  I never watched it.  I played the game before watching it and then I had to look it up on (edit)   I think it was on the Gameshow Network on PlutoTV and I was like, ‘This is great’”.

    Let’s look at this.  She says that she played the game before watching the show.  She’s telling the truth but it’s intentionally misleading.  The first time she played the game was when she did that stream in July 2021.  Then after doing that stream, she watched an episode or part of an episode on Pluto.  She had to look up the name of the channel because she “always” “forgets” about PlutoTV.

    This is what she’s talking about.  Some stupid thing that she did for a Twitch stream.  Then she watched an episode for a few minutes.  And now she’s portraying herself as an expert on Concentration.  

    This is what she does.  She does this constantly.  She’ll play a game once, on stream, for money, or watch a tv show once, and then she’ll try to talk like she’s an expert on the subject.  No.  She doesn’t know jack shit about anything because she’s never done anything.

    6:15 – Hogan’s Alley.  “This is actually the only black box NES game that I have.”

    You don’t say.  

    Why does she even have this?  Who gives a shit?  Erin certainly doesn’t.  This is just so that she can have something on her weird little shelf in her streaming closet in Mike’s house.

    And why is this the best room that she can get?  Maybe Mike isn’t the millionaire that people think he is.  Because there’s just this tiny fucking bedroom that Erin is in.  He’s not living in some kind of mansion.  It must be a modest place.

    6:30 – “It’s a good one to have because this is probably my favourite lightgun game on the NES.”

    And she’s struggling to think as she says this.  She’s going through the rolodex of NES lightgun games that she’s played.  

    She’s never played ANY lightgun game on the NES.  Show me the stream.  If she hasn’t streamed it, she hasn’t played it.

    Then there’s an edit and she starts talking about what you do in this game.  Why was there an edit?  Because Erin had to watch a playthrough of this game on Youtube to “remind” herself what this game is about.

    7:00 – “I did a video on this”

    Oh.  So she did play this before.  My apologies.  She played it on stream, for money.  How else?

    She says that if you want to watch this video, there will either be a link in the video or in the description.  There’s no link anywhere.  Zero effort Erin strikes again.

    7:15 – Metal Storm.  Another game that she played on stream, for money.  I did a review but it’s not on this blog.  It’s in my personal archives.  I’ll have to upload all of these some day.

    Then she starts talking about how far she got in the game.  She’s talking about the one fucking time that she played the game and it was on stream, for money.  This is all she ever does.  Every fucking story is about something that she played on stream, for money.  But she never says this.  She always tries to portray herself as an expert who’s been playing video games for hundreds of thousands of hours since she was a child.  It’s all bullshit.  

    Then she struggles to remember what happens in the game.  Erin “always” “forgets” what happens in the game.  BECAUSE SHE ONLY PLAYED IT ONE FUCKING TIME!  JUST ADMIT IT!

    8:00 – “I like it because you can go upside down and you’re a cute little mech.”

    Fucking abysmal.  Who is watching this shit?  Who is being entertained by any of this?

    8:15 – Bible Buffet.  Oh.  Another game that she only played once, on stream, for money.  I’m noticing a pattern here.

    She likes the game because it has cute food.  Erin likes cute food.  But she only plays on stream, for money.

    8:45 – She claims that this was the first game that she played on an emulator, “Like back in 2007”.

    Let me think about this.  In 2007, Erin aka Cykill1986 would have been 20 or 21 years old.  

    Emulators and the internet had existed and been in wide distribution at least since 1998.

    So all throughout adolescence, which are the prime video game playing years for most people, Erin never bothered to try an emulator.  Wasn’t interested.

    But suddenly, as a 20 or 21 year old woman, she’s playing Bible Buffet on NESticle or whatever.  Is that what she wants us to believe?  Why the sudden interest?  

    9:00 – She starts complaining about the box art.  The characters aren’t cute enough.  But she says that she likes the sprites.  The sprites are cute.

    This is fucking awful.

    9:30 – “Next up we have one that is really random.  This is Crash the Boys: Street Challenge.”

    She struggled to get the name out.  You know what that means.  Erin “always” “forgets” the name of this game.  

    And here’s why: she never played this before.  Show me the stream.  This must have just been a random gift from a horntard or something.

    “So the reason I bought this was…uhhhh…I was going to do a video.”

    Oh.  Now I get it.  Everything has to be for a stream or Youtube video.

    There’s Puzzle Bobble music playing, by the way.  Erin is all about Puzzle Bobble.  She played it a few times.  Always on stream, for money.

    “So I don’t have much to say about this one.  It’s in the box.  Great.”

    She has nothing to say about it because she never played it before.  She was going to play it for a video but she ended up not making the video.  So…that was that.  I mean, what are you suggesting?  She’s going to play a game for her own enjoyment?  In her spare time?  Fuck off.  Erin doesn’t do that shit.

    10:00 – Puss n Boots.  She never played this one either.  Show me the stream.

    10:45 – Fester’s Quest.  I don’t think that she’s ever played this one either.  Maybe briefly during a “variety stream”.

    11:15 – Dirty Harry.  She never played this one either.

    She says that this is the last game that she wants to play.  Then she says, “Maybe I’ll unbox this on stream or something.”

    Everything has to be on stream, for money with Erin.

    And who would even want to watch that?  Unboxing an NES game?  Who gives a shit?  And she has NO INTEREST in the game, as she herself is making plain.

    12:00 – Pinbot.  She never played this one either.

    I guess that she ran out of games that she has that she streamed.  All of the games that she started with were games that she did on stream but now it’s just random bullshit that she happened to pick up somehow and she knows nothing about them because she never played any of them.

    12:30 – Rollerball.  Same shit.

    This video really needs to end.  

    13:00 – Kickle Cubicle.  She really likes it.  This is a game that she played on stream, for money.  It’s “cute”.  

    I just don’t want to watch any more.  She has a few boxed games.  Some of them she played on stream, for money, some of them she hasn’t.  I don’t care.  This is boring as fuck.  No wonder she didn’t put this on her main channel.  It doesn’t live up to the high quality that we expect from the Erin Plays channel.  Stick this shit on the “Extras” channel with the rest of the dreck.

    I’ll just skip to the end.

    20:00 – “Are there any cool games that you have in the box.”

    No.  Because I’m an adult.

    Let’s check out the comments.

    Erin says, “Hi! This video was originally going to be a video on my main channel, Erin Plays, but I decided that it didn’t really fit the vibe I have over there now so I put it here instead! This was first shown to Patreon members a few weeks back. Anyway, here are SOME of my NES/SNES/N64 games that I have in the box! After recording this, I realized that I missed a few, lol. But here’s most of them! In the future I’d like to share my Sega Genesis and Master System, Vectrex etc games as well so we’ll see.”

    There’s so much to say here but…I’ve covered all of this many times already.  She’s a fraud.  She only plays games on stream, for money.  This is all a big scam.  A big scam to get fifty bucks a month.  Come on, Erin.  Just go home to mama and ask her to raise your allowance.  You should be able to get $50/month that way.  Just do some chores around the house to show that you deserve a raise.

    – “‘I don’t trust digital only’ About damn time someone said this. I never understood everyone’s fascination with “it’s convenient. You’ll never have to load a disc in” but then what happens when the game isn’t listed or supported anymore? Then you’re shit out of luck,”

    Erin got this from Mike, you fucking retard.  Mike says this about ten times in every stream he does.  And it’s hardly some brave stance to take.  What a hero you are for saying that you enjoy digital media.  You better be careful who you say that too.  The illuminati might come after you for that kind of dangerous talk.

    – “Would enjoy a metal storm lets play erin”

    Then Erin says, “Oof, I wish I was saving streams back when I played it ha. I’ll have to mentally prepare myself to ever try that one again”

    What?  Oh.  I checked the archives and it was just an unboxing video of Metal Storm that I was talking about.  But I could swear that she played this maybe a year or two ago on stream, for money.  

    Well, I guess that this is some lost media then.  Maybe this can be the subject for Bobdunga’s next video.   Uncovering the lost Metal Storm stream that Erin did.  Bobdunga will interview some shadowy figures before uncovering that Erin had it all along but just “forgot” that she has it.

    – “Ugh love the thumbnail…why you so beautiful Erin”

    Absolute rock bottom standards for these horntards.

  • The Games I've Played the Most – Cannot be Tamed

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFicr9w96vs

    Pam is wearing her naughty schoolmarm top.  Hello, ladies.  Views must be going down again.

    Her first game is World of Warcraft.  She played it a lot.  Great

    2:00 – “According to Steam, my my most played game is Civilization 5 with 156 hours.”

    I…what?  That’s her most played game?  156 hours?  

    I played Civilization 5 and I hated it.  So I probably only played it for about 100 hours.  I just had a bootleg copy so I don’t know the official hours.

    Let me check my Steam account.

    Team Fortress 2 has 2500 hours.  Holy shit.  I haven’t played in over a year but yeah, I really kicked the shit out of those 10 year olds.  And I basically only played 2fort.  And soldier.  So I got really good at playing soldier on 2fort.

    What I would do is camp the secondary respawn, the one that takes you directly to the sniper area.  And then as soon as somebody came out, they got two rockets to the face and they were back in respawn.  Then I would say “pwned”.  I had “pwned” bound to a mouse button.  People would quickly get really pissed off.  It was hilarious.  

    I wasn’t really directly advancing the objective for my team but I was usually in first place.  And people would make it their mission just to kill me so that they could say “pwned”.  So in that sense, I distracting them from their team’s goal and thereby assisting my own team.

    Sometimes, people would put a sentry gun in that area just to keep me away but it’s a totally useless spot for a sentry gun, so I basically took that guy out of the game.  Sometimes a heavy weapons guy would camp that area just to spite me.  But when that area got too defensive, I’d just camp the other respawn.  

    It was great.  2500 hours of that.  People would threaten to get me banned but Gabe Newell never did shit.  I’d been playing the game since it came out and before that I played Team Fortress Classic and did the same fucking thing.  

    I finally quit playing because the servers became overrun by aimbotting bots.  The only alternative was to play on community servers and those always suck cock.  There’s some faggot 12 year old “admin” who bans everybody and the servers are always instant respawn.  There’s no fun in killing somebody right after they come out of respawn if they instantly respawn.  And by instantly respawning, they’re able to kill you just through brute force because they keep coming back instantly and they know you’re there.  Instant respawn is absolute no skill, noob bullshit.  

    But yeah, I spent about 20 years playing that game and Team Fortress Classic.  Time well spent.

    3:15 – And now a word from our sponsor.  What can it be?  Elizabeth Valentine?  No, why would a bra company pay for an ad on a video game channel?  Well…a lot of these obese men could probably do with some support.  

    A VPN?  What?  How lazy can you possibly get, Pam?  

    According to this ad, she really wanted to watch Old Boy but it’s not available on Netflix in Canada.  So, allegedly, she turned on her VPN and was able to watch this Korean horror film.

    It’s the same fucking script that James Rolfe reads.  It’s the same fucking script that this VPN sends to everyone.  This is insulting our intelligence.  

    I saw Old Boy years ago on television.  But you know what I’d do if I wanted it again?  Check the fucking pirate streaming sites.  

    It’s there.  No problem.  Plus the 2013 remake.  Took two seconds.

    Plus, as a bonus, you get pornographic pop ups.  Even with an adblocker.  Thousands of local women want to have sex with me.  Wow.  That’s more than I would have expected.  And they look like this?  Crazy.

    Failing that, I’d check the torrent sites.  Let’s have a quick look.

    Yeah.  It’s on there.  Five hundred seeders.  No problem.

    But Pam thinks that you need to spend fifteen bucks a month or whatever for a VPN.  No.  There’s absolutely no need for that bullshit.

    4:30 – X-Com.  Who cares?  I’m moving to the next game.

    6:15 – Felix the Cat.  Yeah, I don’t think so.  Who would play this game multiple times?  In 2022?  No.

    Then she talks about three other games but I don’t give a fuck.

    Let’s check out the comments.  I’m not hopeful for anything interesting.  The video certainly wasn’t interesting.

    – “Damn you’re cute”

    – “Civ? 156 hours? Pfft. Over 2,000 for me and I’m still rubbish at it.”

    Yeah, it’s a fucking joke.  150 hours is not a lot.  

    – “that dress is gorgeous”

    I don’t think that it’s a dress.  But you can’t even see it.  All you can see is her tits.  So we know what you’re doing.

    – “Pam, you are so easy on my eyes and today’s vid only cemented that feeling. Thank you for doing what you do.”

    What a creep.

    – “Love your hair.”

    Pam actually replies to that creepy loser.  “Thanks!”  Encouraging the horntards to leave creepy messages.  And her hair is fucking awful.  It’s intentionally bad.  

    – “I’d make a comment about video games but I’m just gonna say your hair is always on point and I love the black on you.”

    It just goes to show that you can do absolutely anything and the horntards will compliment you.  People compliment Pelvic Gamer’s blue lipstick, for example.  

  • Johanna is Streaming on Twitch

     https://www.twitch.tv/stufflikegames

    How long has this been going on?  At least a month.  She has a month’s worth of videos on there.  That’s presumably the maximum amount of time that a video stays up on the free section.

    So I was watching her play Disney Dreamlight Valley.  This is some new game that’s like Animal Crossing but with Disney characters.  Very derivative.  And there’s never more than like three people in the chat.  It’s sad.  

    So Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee joins.  She’s feeling sorry for Johanna and her completely dead Twitch career.  And it’s the usual bullshit that you would expect from Horseface.

    At 1:12:45 of the “It’s Little Chef time!” stream, Horseface subscribes.  Why?  They’re just subscribing back and forth.  They’re just exchanging the same five dollars between each other.  

    So Johanna hears the subscriber ringtone and it surprises her.  Because nobody is fucking subscribing.  So she looks up excitedly to see who subscribed and gets disappointed when she sees that it was just Horseface giving her a pity subscription.

    Then at 1:13:45 Johanna builds a house and it’s a big house and she says, “Oh, my god, it’s huge” and has her mouth agape for like two minutes.  This is the old Retro Ali trick.  Guys, apparently, find this sexy.  A woman with her mouth agape.  Fake “reactions”.  They’re imagining sticking their dick in there, I guess.  I don’t get it.  

    Then at 1:14:30, Horseface says, “Aww that looks like you” in reference to her character.

    Well, first of all, no shit.  That’s what she was going for when she made it.

    But secondly, it doesn’t look much like her.  The character creation tools in games are rarely robust enough to let the average “gamer” truly make a digital representation of themselves.  Yeah, you can usually customise the face and the hair and the clothes and the skin tone and whatever.  And that’s all great.  But rarely can you customise the body.  You usually just have to go with the default, slim body type.  

    Johanna needs a big fat girl body type for this game but I don’t think there’s such an option.  I guess that you can’t often customise the body type because there would be issues with hit boxes or clipping or whatever but that’s the reality.  So all of these fucking fat fuck “gamers” like Johanna here have to just play as a slim character.  It’s not right.  We need proper representation in video games.  Maybe somebody can make a mod for this.  Is the game even available on PC?  Let me check.

    Oh, it is.  I find that kind of surprising for some reason.  Why even buy a console any more?  Why buy a console for the past 10+ years?  Everything gets released on PC now.

    1:17:15 – Johanna is showing some little stuffed novelties that she got from “blind bags” shaped like ice cream buckets and she’s confused because the plush that looks like a bowl of gelato is brown instead of green.  On the packaging it’s shown as green.  So Horseface says, “That’s rotten gelato.”  She spells it “galato” by the way, because she’s an idiot.  

    Then Johanna says, “I’ll eat his rotten gelato” and pantomimes licking this plush in some kind of sensual manner.  

    How on earth is “rotten gelato” supposed to be sexual?  Because that’s clearly how she intended it.  Is this what she calls her fiance’s genitals?  “Rotten gelato”?  I don’t want to think about it.  Let’s move on.

    1:23:15 – Johanna found earrings in the game.  She says, “those earrings are adorable” and then she equips them on her character.  Then she does the Retro Ali horse cock sucking face.  

    This is terrible.  And she was looking up information on that gelato character for like ten fucking minutes.  I’ve never been so bored in my life.  Who wants to watch somebody searching on Google for ten minutes?  The gelato was also “cute”.

    It’s absolute shit tier commentary.  All she does is comment on what she’s doing in the game and pointing out cute shit.  Who the fuck wants to watch this.  As it turns out, nobody.

    1:25:00 – Johanna says, “I’m hot.  I have to take off this sweater.  I have a tank top on underneath, pervs.”

    What pervs?  Nobody is even watching this.

    Then she’s fiddling with her top as she takes her sweater off.  “Make sure that I’m adjusted correctly.”  She takes the sweater off and says, “I’m dying.  I can’t.  So you’re going to have to deal with me in a tank top.”

    Let’s pause here.  She was streaming for nearly 90 minutes in this sweater and seemed to have no problem.  Horseface comes in and within ten minutes, Johanna is taking her sweater off.  

    And how much would you like to bet that Horseface makes a disgusting comment?  

    One second later:

    Horseface: TAKE IT OFF

    Horseface: boooo tank top

    Johanna then says, “Crystal, I’m not stripping…on stream.  We would need a hot tub for that and you would have to join me.

    Reminder: Johanna is 250 pounds.

    And she’s engaged to get married.  To a man.

    If I was that man, I would immediately call off the marriage, get that fat fuck out of my home, and never have anything to do with her again.  That guy might be 300 pounds, have two anuses, and sell used Hyundai’s in rural Pennsylvania but he can do better.  I mean, how much worse can you even do?  He’s already at rock bottom.

    Then Horseface says, “I can make that happen.”  You know, because Horseface is all about obese women who are engaged to be married.  That’s her thing.  

    Johanna says, “Girl, I’m down.  Any time you want.”  Because Johanna is all about horse-faced women.

    Then why is she getting married to a man?  What is wrong with that fucking guy?  I mean aside from the two anuses.  Maybe that second anus is actually a vagina.

    To explain, Johanna once remarked in a Talking About Tapes episode or Godzilla podcast or something that her fiance has two anuses.  And his sister has two anuses.  Why would she say this for the whole world to hear?  Because she has absolutely no respect for that guy (or his sister) and no sense of common decency.  

    That’s enough of that boring bullshit.  Let’s see what the totally hot Crystal Quin is up to on Twitter.

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1571261520138444806

    Oh.  The 17th of September was Batman Day.  Did you all mark your calendars?  Did you decorate your Batman trees?  A happy Batman Day to you and your loved ones.

    Horseface commemorated the holiday by posting two pictures of herself dressed like a prostitute.  She looks…well, like a horse-faced woman.  If this is your thing, this is your thing.  But it’s certainly not my thing.

    Let’s see what Kris Glavin has to say.  Is she a smokeshow or what?

    – “Happy Saturday crystal queen you are The most radiantly beautiful young lady so adorable hunny”

    – “That is the cutest thing ever babe”

    – “Wowsers stunningly beautiful young lady”

    – “Super model vibes baby”

    Those were all from Kris Glavin.  He posted four fucking times.  

    Somebody else says, “Why I see this shit ?”  

    Indeed.  I think that this guy is an English teacher in Japan, by the way.  Here’s his Twitter:

    https://twitter.com/gekido985

    Who wouldn’t want to be taught by such a master of the English language?  And that wasn’t a one-off.  His Twitter is FULL of pigeon English.  What an educator.

    Somebody else says, “It’s put your clothes on and stop scaring the children every day. More damaged goods gone to waste. Pretty but very damaged.”

    This guy might have been taught English by that other guy but I think he’s expressing displeasure at Horseface co-opting a children’s holiday for her own disgusting gratification.  It’s true.  Halloween has become co-opted by “liberated” women dressing like prostitutes.  For the entire month of October.  And we’re not even in October yet.  It’s still September.  But Prostitute Halloween has already arrived for Horseface.  

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1569918961260584960

    “I’m a sucker for long stem roses” and she posts a picture of roses that may or may not be hers.

    She’s a real romantic, that Horseface.  Texted her boss, “Do you want to fuck?”  This was before they ever met socially.  

    So Kris Glavin replies, “I will definitely make a note of that in all seriousness happy Wednesday gorgeous hope you have a great day and rest of your week babe”

    And again, “Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy”

    She has a boyfriend?  I guess.  Kris Glavin would know.  He’s stalking her every move.

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1568004794354221056

    “If you’re reading this, I hope you had a great day!”

    And a gif of a woman holding a plastic penis and testicles with her arm around a skeleton.  

    What is this?  What was the point of the tweet?  “Hey.  I’m here.  I’ve got nothing to say but I need attention.”

    Great.  Let’s see what Kris Glavin had to say to this totally pointless bullshit.

    – “Happy Thursday gorgeous hope you had a great day and hope you have a great weekend babe 😘 sending you lots of love and hugs and positive vibes babe”

    – “Happy Friday gorgeous hope you have a great weekend with your family babe 😘😘😘 sending you lots of love and hugs and positive vibes babe”

    So he replied twice.  On two separate days.  Same fucking message about having a great weekend and sending positive vibes.  He just changed the day.  

    That guy really needs urgent psychological care.  In a facility.  One that he can’t get out of.  

    Last time I play Wordle, by the way.  You guys all know about “trice”, right?  Fuck off.

    ,

  • The (Likely) End of Pegwarmers

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4yIdy8Opng

    1:00 – “For the news segment today, Pegwarmers is actually going to go on hiatus for about a month.  We’re going to be re-tooling and trying to streamline the production a little bit more.  The episodes take a lot of time to film, edit, and get released.  So we might be looking at some different formats for the episodes.  But the show’s not going away and we’ll have a lot of the same guests on and things like that.  So definitely stay tuned and we’ll be pushing messages out on social media when we’re ready to re-launch.”

    Uh huh.  “All tv shows take breaks.”

    I actually predicted this about three weeks ago.

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/08/here-lies-talk-about-games-mike-matei.html

    Once they got rid of Talking About Games, Pegwarmers became the last show to use this set.  I knew that Ryan wasn’t going keep this set around just for Pegwarmers.

    At one point, Screenwave had five podcasts going at the same time: Hack the Movies, Pegwarmers, Talking About Games, The Cinemassacre Podcast, and Mouthfools.  Now only Hack the Movies remains.  All of these podcasts came and went within the course of…what…six months?  Nine months?  It wasn’t long.

    You’re not going to build much of an audience in six to nine months.  With these niche topics, you might never build an audience.  

    From the quick cancellation of all of these series, it’s clear that Ryan was only interested in making money from this shit.  The individual people hosting the podcasts might be doing this because they enjoy doing it, but for Ryan it was all about money.  And from that perspective, these podcasts were clearly an idiotic business decision.  

    Are millions of people going to suddenly watch Mouthfools?  That shit was unwatchable.  Four uncharismatic nerds talking about Splatoon over Skype?  No thanks.  This does not have broad appeal.  The only people who might possibly watch that shit were people who were already familiar with any of these four guys.  And at least one of these guys had over a million subscribers so you might think that this could turn into views.  No.  Nobody was watching that shit.  It was awful.  The basic format was awful.  I’m not watching any podcast where it’s just a group chat on Skype.  Fuck that.

    Talking About Games.  It was…mostly watchable.  It started to get bad towards the end of the run.  I suspect that people were giving up and no longer caring.  But are millions of people going to suddenly find the channel?  

    Actually, I suppose that the podcast was promoted on Cinemassacre.  It was promoted at the end of the later episodes of The Cinemassacre Podcast.  But who the fuck was watching The Cinemassacre Podcast all the way through?  

    Which brings me to The Cinemassacre Podcast.  This one had all of the advantages and just totally threw everything away.  You had a fucking comatose James Rolfe mumbling his way through books on Atlantis and talking about what alcoholic beverage he drank in the 15 minutes between recording one episode of the podcast to the next.  They would record this shit in batches because Jimmy has no time to do his fucking job.  So he’d record four episodes back to back, I believe.  Do a month’s worth of podcasts in one day.  

    And James just could not do ANYTHING.  Justin constantly kept tweaking the show to try to get James to become even remotely engaged.  Let’s bring your childhood friend in.  Let’s talk about Family Matters.  Let’s talk about Atlantis.  Let’s talk about your favourite bands.  Let’s talk about how awesome you are.  

    There was literally an episode where they talked about their favourite AVGN episodes.  It was Kieran, Justin, and Jimmy all talking about how awesome Jimmy is.  

    The only time James gave the slightest fuck was when they were talking about an actual buffalo defecating on his face and when James was there with Rex Viper.  Jimmy was a total corpse during every other episode but when he was there with Rex Viper it was, “ALRIGHT!  I’M JAMES ROLFE!  ARE YOU GUYS READY ROCK?!”  And it was everybody else who didn’t give a fuck.  Jimmy is telling this bizarre fake lore about the origins of Rex Viper and that keyboardist could barely keep his head up.  “What the fuck is this retard talking about?”

    They even tried plying James with alcohol to get him to talk.  That old trick that they used on 1970s celebrity gameshows.  No.  James refuses to engage.  

    And this is his fucking job.  Doesn’t he get it?  He’s retarded.  It’s this or Wawa.  Does he want to work at Wawa?  That should be all of the motivation that he needs to put some fucking effort into this.  He’s so concerned about his kids, is he going to be able to provide for his children on a Wawa salary?  Is his wife going to stick with him when he’s working at Wawa?  Fuck no.  She’s getting a divorce, keeping the house, keeping the kids, taking half his money, and Jimmy is on the streets.

    Then there’s Hack the Movies.  Once The Ideas Man left, it was all over.  Tony got desperate.  “We need some hot chicks to get the views!  Who do we have?  A fat chick…a horse-faced woman…and…a retard.  Well, let’s try it anyway.”

    And it’s the same fucking bullshit episode after episode.  Tony goes out there like the fucking “time to make the doughnuts” guy and goes through the motions of summarising the plot of a 1990s horror movie while a horse-faced woman talks about actresses who she wants to have sex with.

    Finally, there’s Pegwarmers.  I watched it.  It’s a big fat guy in his 30s talking about toys with a rotating cast of nerds in their 30s and 40s.  It’s a competent, workmanlike performance.  Limited appeal.  This thing is not going to get millions of viewers.  

    He’s apparently been doing this podcast or at least Youtube videos for many years so I’m sure that he’ll continue in some format but it’s not going to be promoted at all by Screenwave, maybe Screenwave won’t even be involved (which might be for the best), and it’s not going to be using this set.  It’s going to be this guy in his kitchen talking about toys.

    Ryan has no idea how to run a business.  He probably made all kinds of promises to these people, talked about how Screenwave is a family, he’s going to support you, you can use the set, whatever.  And then six or nine months later, when none of these podcasts are doing Joe Rogan numbers, he gets rid of them all.  

    What has Ryan ever achieved?  How is this company, or any of his six companies, at all profitable?  The word “Screenwave” is synonymous with “failure”.  He took a successful Youtube channel and ran it straight into the ground.  Screenwave became so reviled and infamous for their incompetence that he had to rebrand to “Retroware”.  

    The guy is a complete joke.  Doesn’t even know what gender he is.  Take your pants off and have a look.  He’s so obese that he probably hasn’t seen his genitals in years so perhaps this is the problem.  He can’t remember if he had a penis or a vagina down there.

    So that’s Pegwarmers.  My only advice is to get away from Screenwave and just do the show in your house or whatever for whatever pennies you can get.  I think that he’s just doing the show because he enjoys it.  So fine.  Do that.  You don’t need this fucking incompetent weirdo taking half of your money for doing nothing.

    , , , , ,