Spirit Halloween The Movie (2022) Review – Monster Madness – Cinemassacre

Newt beat you to this one, Jimmy.


I’ve already watched this video from Jimmy, just for my own “enjoyment” and I’m not going to watch it again to timestamp shit. But he has such a bad take on this.

Newt commented on the ridiculous nature of having a movie based on a store. It’s obviously ridiculous. Who would possibly disagree with that?

James Rolfe would. He loves the idea of a movie based on a store.

This is the opinion of a total dope. Who gives a shit what he has to say?

There was something toward the end of this video that really bothered me. I had to turn it off a bit early. Let me see what it was.

Oh, well one thing is that he talks about his fondness for going to Spirit Halloween every year. He calls it a “tradition.” The whole commercialisation of Halloween in the US is pathetic.

But that wasn’t it. What annoyed me was Jimmy giving his idiotic, autistic movie idea at the 8:00 mark. A horror film about old die cut Halloween decorations coming to life.

This is every fucking movie idea that he has. Some inanimate object comes to life and chases the protagonist for the entire “movie”. It’s dogshit, Jimmy. Get a new idea.

And his idea for the title is “Die Cuts”. Get it? DIE? Fuck off with this bullshit. Newt does this kind of stupid shit where he comes up with a pun title and thinks that it’s clever. Is Jimmy ripping off Newt Wallen? James is going to release a “movie” about a shark vampire next.

Then Jimmy finishes the video by saying that this movie, which is clearly a giant piece of shit, is worth watching for “nostalgia sake”. What nostalgia? Jimmy said that these stores didn’t exist when he was a child. And I’ve never seen them. So it must have been something that took off within the last 20 years old so.

Let’s see what the boys on Reddit have to say.

A few people suggest that this was a paid advertisement. I don’t think so. They’re just desperate for shit to complain about. Weird conspiracies.

  • “Want to give James Rolfe a hard on?”

I can honestly say that I don’t, CreamyHampers. But you do you.

Oh, yeah. I’m reading the weird Youtube comments for this video now and it reminded me of something else. In the beginning of the video, Jimmy talks about how great it is to see Christoper Lloyd in this movie.

No. He looks like a fucking zombie. How old is this guy? 90? Let me look this up.

He’s 84. Now, should an 84 year old not be allowed to appear in movies? No, of course not. But let’s not pretend that this is anything other than depressing and a reminder of our own mortality.

  • “James thank you for this I love Christopher Lloyd and now have a new age appropriate horror movie to watch with my daughters.”

Oh, sure. “Daddy, who’s that 100 year old zombie? He scares me.” “That’s Christopher Lloyd. He was a spry 60 when I was your age.”

You look at all of these actors from the 1980s and they’re all old as fuck now. Or dead. It’s depressing.

But it’s not just actors. It’s everybody. It’s your parents. It’s your childhood neighbours. It’s your former teachers. Every adult you knew in the 1980s is either really old now or dead. You’re *nostalgic* for this? “I’m so glad that this person from the 1980s is still alive.” Yeah, but now they’re old and decrepit and live in constant pain and their mind is gone. It’s not the same person from the 1980s.

And you’re not the same person from the 1980s.

This is why Newt always re-tweets every celebrity who dies. He likes to wallow in this sort of depressive state. Thinking about celebrities who he knew as a kid and how they’re dead now. And how this means that he’s also a lot older now and closer to death.

If you’re making the most of your own life, you don’t need to concern yourself with the continuous cycle of death. These old people used to be young, hopefully they also made the most of their lives, and this is the natural order of things. If you’re wasting your life on plagiarised movies and comic books, that’s on you.

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