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Destiny Fomo is Mad Thirsty – Song
https://soundcloud.com/user-53916583/tim-parody/albums
So somebody called Tim the Jonin made an album called Finesse. One of the tracks is called Destiny Fomo is Mad Thirsty.
I’m not a music critic by any means but let’s check it out.
It’s surprisingly competent. It’s ass-licking to an extent, and buying into the myth that she’s into video games, as opposed to just a prostitute who’s using video games to milk money from horny retards. But it’s more nuanced than that. I wouldn’t say that the lyrics are deep but they are somewhat critical of her, as in:
“Destiny Fomo, she’s the queen of the night. She’s chasing attention, it’s her game to play, but beware, it’s just a role she’ll slay.”
Queen of the night. A reference to her prostitution?
“In a world of pixels, she reigns supreme, with every click she’s living the dream. But deep down inside, there’s a void to fill, her thirst for fame is a bitter pill.”
Somewhat a reference to this all being fake.
“She’ll pose a selfie, with just the right pose. Capturing hearts with a digital pose(?), but in the end, it’s just a facade, a virtual charade to keep her feeling high.”
He seems to enjoy rhyming “pose” with “pose”, unless I’m mishearing something, but more references to this being fake.
Even if this guy doesn’t know to what extent this is all a fraud and the lyrics are just about a sort of imaginary version of Madam Fomo and he wants to give some depth to the character, it’s still unknowningly discussing her shitty behaviour. Enticing horny retards with these “sexy” pictures.
“Next time you see her on your screen so bright, remember it’s just a show in the virtual light.”
More along the same theme that she’s a fake.
“Destiny Fomo she’ll keep playing her part, but true happiness is (something) in the heart.”
Same stuff.
Then it transitions into like a softly-spoken version without instrumentals.
“Turn down the lights, she’s searching for love.”
Well, if you have $100 she’ll give you some loving.
So that’s that. It was surprisingly well put together. The instrumentals and the singing and whatever were…I don’t know…fine? Good? It seems to to have been recorded semi-professionally. I don’t know if it’s one guy playing multiple instruments or this is all being done on a computer or what.
The lyrics weren’t of the sycophantic variety that I expected.
So what else does he have? The songs seem to be video game, Superman, and Dragonball-based. Sometimes it’s just somebody’s name who he presumably doesn’t like and then “sucks”.
259 Chester Street seems to be an entirely different singer and style. It seems like a black guy doing some rap. This is why I’m thinking that this is done entirely on a computer. Using AI or something. I don’t know what the capabiltiies are. But again, it seems to be reasonably well done. I mean, it’s not a guy in his mother’s basement just recording this shit.
These songs seem to be in different genres. Rap, soul, Korn. And the singers are definitely different. I Miss Pagan is a woman. This has to be AI.
So you can check these out or just use whatever AI program he did and crank this shit out yourself. But he’s also on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/@TIM_THE_JONIN/videos
He has a bunch of short videos which I think all have AI-generated thumbnails. Or most of them anyway.
In one video, he discourages you from going out in the sun. Says that it’s dangerous and you should just take vitamin D pills instead.
His most-viewed video (with 20 views) is this one:
“Is masturbating to porn good for your mental health?”
I don’t think that it’s AI. You wouldn’t use this voice if you could help it. And it seems to be the same voice in all of his videos. The video is fucking hilarious. I laughed the whole way through. He says “and things of that nature” at least five times in this three minute video.
0:30 – He says that it’s a “logical fallacy” that masturbating to porn can turn you into a serial rapist. I note his use of “logical fallacy” because I wasn’t sure if this was actually the same guy who made that album. But one of the songs is called, “Vegan Gains Theme Song – Logical Fallacy”. So I’m pretty confident that it’s him.
I think that he’s from New York from the accent. And CLEARLY mentally ill but fairly lucid. His argument, as bizarre as it is, is pretty sound. People do make the correlation between porn and raping or at least have historically.
1:45 – He suggests that masturbating too much can lead to depression. I don’t know. Maybe. It seems more like a sign of depression than the cause.
2:00 – “There’s one time, I was jacking off four times a day.”
It’s fucking hilarious.
So he suggests that you should jack off, or masturbate, if you will, in moderation. Well, that’s sound advice. We can all agree with that.
Then he ends the video by saying that if you masturbate too much, you can become a rapist. Again, I think that he has a point. You read about rapists and they would masturbate excessively. They’d be preoccupied with it.
There’s only one comment.
- “I see it’s done wonders for your mental health”
He replies, “Clearly you live on the internet” and “Try going out every once in awhile go out and get some air”
But put sunscreen on. He advises in that sun video that if you go out, you should always put sunscreen on.
Should you start taking testosterone? Well, let’s find out.
By the way, video game footage plays while he talks. It was the same in the masturbation video. In the sun video, it was just a picture of the sun.
0:00 – “This is going to be a hard no.”
Interesting. Go on.
He suggests that there are natural ways to boost your testosterone: working out and eating more protein. Again, I think that’s totally sensible and probably backed by science.
Then he continues that if you have a genuine need for testosterone, you should talk to your doctor. This is all good advice.
He says you shouldn’t take testosterone because it can thicken your blood and whatnot. That’s certainly a valid reason not to take it.
So that’s the video. He suggests that you should work out and eat protein instead.
Then he has videos about working out and eating meat. So he’s putting his beliefs into practice, I assume.
“Misconceptions with people with mental illness.”
He talks about how people with schizophrenia and psychopaths and things of that nature aren’t all murderers and bad people. It’s just a mentall illness. You can have these conditions and still be a good person. Yeah, of course.
1:15 – His former friend, who was not a qualified psychiatrist, had a habit of trying to diagnosis him and this bothered him. That’s totally reasonable to be upset by that.
He has a second channel here:
https://www.youtube.com/@VIDEO_GAMES_UNLEASHED/videos
Both channels have only been up for a month, by the way.
Metal Jesus Rocks Exposed.
0:00 – “Today we’re going to be exposing…I don’t like using that word. It sounds dirty to me.”
Hilarious.
This is about Metal Jesus inflating prices about video games. He goes to some price charting website to show that Metal Jesus was over-stating the price of games. That’s good.
He has a few videos about a guy named Ivan. He doesn’t much care for Ivan. In this video, he’s suggesting that Ivan is gay for him. And I think he’s using an AI voice. It’s of some posh English guy.
Anyway, aside from the Ivan obsession, I say stay the course and good luck with your mental health.
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California Raisins – Unreleased NES Video Game Review – Irate Gamer
He’s really shitting these videos out now. He has this one that he released 8 days ago, an X-Men game that he released 4 days ago, and 2 days ago he had a “trailer” for a Back to the Future game. I can’t keep up with this shit. And nobody is even watching these videos anyway. Why is he suddenly so obsessed? He’s in the manic phase of his mental disorder, I guess.
He also released a video about Dr Demento or whatever his name is having sex on an island full of children. I thought that that was a Twitter exclusive video but he actually put it on his Irate Gamer channel. It’s completely mental.
0:15 – He’s furiously mashing the buttons on his NES controller and then says, “Whasthatsound?”
That’s the sound of bad acting, Chris.
Then his California Raisin figures roll in. Hey guys! Remember the California Raisins?
Yeah. I guess. It was shit advertising. They actually needed advertising to sell RAISINS. Everything has to be a commodity in the US.
You know how they have a bunch of commercials in the US for medication? Everything from cold medication to boner pills? They don’t have that shit in the UK. Somehow people still get by. When they get a cold or can’t get an erection, they go to the pharmacist or their doctor and it all gets sorted out. You don’t need to advertise this shit.
Metamucil. Adult diapers. Tampons. All of this. Totally unwanted, unneeded advertisements. The people who need this stuff seek it out. You don’t have to create need. “Boy, I’m really sick of shitting myself. If only there were a solution.” WE ALL KNOW THE SOLUTION. GET SOME ADULT DIAPERS. WHY ARE THERE CONSTANT ADVERTISEMENTS FOR THIS?
2:30 – “Can you imagine all the kids out there who were big California Raisins fans…”
Let me stop you right there, Chris. NOBODY was a big California Raisins fan. What planet is this guy from?
3:15 – Then a digital Michael Jackson appears.
Wait a minute. Isn’t Chris BORES a big Michael Jackson fan? For some reason, I think that he is. How does this jive with his apparent crusade against child abuse?
4:30 – He calls the Fruit of the Loom characters “limey bastards”. What? They weren’t English. What the fuck is he talking about? There wasn’t even a lime character.
5:15 – He calls something a “nuclear juicy fart” and then a couple of seconds later, bad CGI excrement explodes on him while he’s doing some horrible acting. This is some real comedy.
5:30 – “Irate” acting that’s so bad that I’m very close to turning this off. Then he gets shit on again because that was just so fucking hysterical the first time.
6:00 – “You wrinkled, withered, bag of ass.”
Yeah. That stuff. That homosexual stuff. Chris, you’re gay. It’s fine. Just come out of the closet. Stop this fucking ghost shit and embrace your true passion: butt sex with men and scat and who the fuck knows?
6:15 – Extended golden shower references.
10:45 – At least the third time that he mentions Michael Jackson and we’re treated to this stupid, unfunny CGI Michael Jackson, voiced by Chris BORES, of course.
Then the video ends. This was shit. This was just Chris BORES and some of his sick toilet fetishes.
Who’s watching this stuff and actually enjoying it? The comments are full of people who seem to be enjoying this. I don’t get it. Which part was entertaining?
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GET IN HERE, I WANNA TALK – Bobdunga aka Ray Mona
I’m three minutes in and losing the will to live. She’s just talking about how she’s Canadian. Okay, great. Your passport is different from my passport. We get it. Move on.
Nationalism: the last refuge for people who have absolutely nothing to talk about.
Oh fuck. This isn’t ending. Fuck Canada. Talk about something interesting.
Who was that person who guessed what state people were from. Oh. That was Horseface. Why doesn’t Horseface stream any more? Well, I suppose because she had absolutely nothing to talk about. But people would still watch.
I’d like to see somebody stream and actually have something to talk about. Something semi-intelligent. Not fucking cartoons or whatever. Let’s hear Saint Dungalous’ view on Jewish control of the media.
I’m 16 minutes in and she’s still talking about cartoons.
This is awful. This is the worst thing ever.
17:00 – A horntard asks her if she’s been playing any games. No. “I just haven’t had any time.” James Rolfe over here.
She was busy in May because she started “acting and voice acting on the side.” Uh huh.
She went to an audition for some video game shit and didn’t get it. She talks about her agent. She’s really going Hollywood here.
Dungalous, get a fucking job. This is ridiculous. You’re 35 years old and living with your mother. Still chasing these ridiculous pipe dreams.
Twenty minutes in. Fuck this shit. Come on. Why am I still watching this? It’s not going to get better.
I’M TURNING THIS OFF. ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. WE GET IT! CARTOONS! FUCK OFF!
Fucking cartoons. How old are these people? Sitting around with stool in their diapers typing this shit out?
Mike was talking about cartoons in a recent stream. He was talking about his favourite Goofy cartoons from the 1940s. The one where he goes golfing or some shit. I mean, come on. Update your references.
And those cartoons aren’t good. They’re all terrible. Those old fucking Disney shorts are all shit. Even as a kid, I didn’t get it. I’d watch them but they were never funny. Are they even supposed to be funny? I think that they are. There’s a lot of slapstick stuff, if I recall. Let me look this up. Goofy playing golf…
Have to go to Facebook for this shit. Youtube only had a clip.
https://www.facebook.com/DisneyMovies/videos/goofy-how-to-golf/1816209461944116
Well, I’ve watched it. I don’t recall having seen that before. If that’s the best Goofy cartoon, my position stands. There’s maybe a charm to the old cartoons. The animation is good. But none of it is funny. None of it is clever. Why would I, as an adult, want to watch this? I didn’t even like it as a kid.
Mickey Mouse was the worst. That shit’s for three year olds. Donald Duck at least had something of an edge to him. Relatively-speaking. But Mickey Mouse was a pussy through and through. I don’t want to watch that.
Mike was talking about how those Car of Tomorrow/House of Tomorrow cartoons were good. The ones where, “And the mother-in-law” jokes were always used. Those were probably the best. I remember watching those many times. But they weren’t funny, certainly. They were just interesting. What do I care about mother-in-law jokes as a nine year old? I don’t think that I even understood the concept. And watching it now…where’s the comedy? Mother-in-law jokes are obviously old-fashioned but were they contemporary at the time or were they old-fashioned even then?
I liked the one with that little father and son car too.
https://www.facebook.com/remembertheseclassiccartoons/videos/one-cabs-family-1952/2612666398776557
Wow. Big tits on that nurse. Was in the version that they showed on tv? How did I miss that?
Pretty disturbing that this car has a human buttocks as well.
The hot rod races past some people waiting at a bus, taking their pants/skirts with him. One of the people is a hot chick. This is supposed to be sexy that we see her legs.
Anyway, where was I going with this. Oh yeah. Fuck Bobdunga.
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What Makes A Fighting Game, A Fighting Game? – Zap Cristal
We’ve got Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal and Mr Wright Way II asking the questions that nobody else gives a shit about.
What makes a fighting game a fighting game? Two people fighting. Or maybe you want to expand it to include more than two people fighting ala Smash Bros. Done. Problem solved.
They’re joined by some black guy. Do they know anyone who isn’t black? But this guy doesn’t have a webcam, apparently. So he’s just a static image.
1:00 – “Season 2, so far, has been a blast.”
You’re the only one gives a shit about what “season” any of this.
5:00 – They’re comparing fighting games to chess and…ugh. I’m already bored.
What about the best black characters from fighting games? That might make for an interesting discussion, although I have no doubt that they would fuck it up. You’ve got Balrog from Street Fighter II, of course. And…Tanya from Mortal Kombat IV. Is that her name? Yeah. Who else? I’m not really a fighting game fanatic.
Oh, the guy with the cybernetic arms from Mortal Kombat. Umm…oh, and there was that basketball character in one of the King of Fighters games. What was that guy’s name? Lucky Glauber. That doesn’t ring a bell at all. And Heavy D was also on that team. He was a boxer. I remember the name Heavy D, but not so much the character whereas I remember the character Lucky Glauber but not the name. Interesting.
Fuck. I give up. I’ll just DuckDuckGo this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_black_video_game_characters
Oh yeah. Jeffry McWild from Virtua Fighter. That’s a good one.
Dee Jay from Street Fighter II is also listed but I don’t even really remember him. I don’t think I played the version of Street Fighter II that had him in it much.
Maya from Kiler Instinct. That’s a good one.
Tiger Jackson from Tekken 3. I must not have played that game because I would have remembered this character.
God. This list isn’t even remotely exhaustive. I want to see obscure character from obscure games. The more racially offensive, the better.
https://www.fightersgeneration.com/characters.html
There’s a more comprehensive list but it’s of every character in a fighting game so you just have to click around.
Bobby from Aggressors of Dark Combat also had a basketball. I think that I remember that. I played all of the Neo Geo games even though I hated fighting games.
There was a Castlevania fighting game? Castlevania Judgement. 2008. Interesting.
There was also a game called Urban Reign with characters like Dwayne Davis. Similar to Def Jam, which also probably has a lot of black characters.
What? This isn’t a fighting game. It’s a beat em up.
Whoever made this site has an enormous amount of time on their hands. They even graded each character using some weird Japanese word/number system. Bunch of gifs and pictures of each character too. But you should be able to search by race and nationality. That would really bring things to the next level of autism.
What about Strip Fighter?
Oh, there’s a Strip Fighter 5. There’s no way that it has any conncection to the original Turbo Grafx game. I think that that was some kind of bootleg.
And why five? Is there a Strip Fighter 3 and 4? They started at 2 because it was a parody of Street Fighter II.
Some real weirdo shit in there.
Oh, and there was a Strip Fighter 4 but no 3, apparently.
https://www.igdb.com/collections/strip-fighter
Where was I going with this? Oh, fucking Zap Cristal. You’ve got five minutes. Say something interesting.
I’m at 12 minutes. I don’t even know what they’re talking about. I’m half asleep. This music doesn’t help.
They’re talking about chess again. I’m turning this off.
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California’s BIGGEST Video Game Expo – SoCal Gaming Expo 2024 – John Riggs
John Riggs puts a lady in the thumbnail. No. Put your own sexy visage in the thumbnail. Sex sells.
John Riggs is at So Cal Gaming Expo. I think that Super Retro Gal aka Super Awkward Gal used to be part-owner of this nerd convention. She was also briefly working at Screenwave, now that I think about it. That was a crazy week. She posted a video licking Screenwave’s collective ass one day and then a week later, she quit and removed the video. What the fuck happened?
Anyway, I’ve scanned this John Riggs video. No food. What the fuck? I’ll watch it anyway but John Riggs, I know you read this, please reconsider your moratorium on footage of you eating. It’s genuinely the only good part of the video. I’m not saying this to be a jerk, legitimately the only part that’s even remotely interesting is seeing where you eat and what you eat. I don’t care about this lightly-used copy of Mario Paint that you’re showing off. Show us the fucking food. I don’t think that I’m alone in this.
0:30 – Game Snatch? What? This has to be intentional. You’re not getting any snatch with this shit, though.
5:30 – The woman in the thumbnail is literally showing Mario Paint. I didn’t even realise that when I made my Mario Paint reference earlier. That’s just my go-to reference for boring video game content.
So what she does it buy broken Mario Paint mice and then airbrushes the fucking case or whatever. For the nerd who has everything. Now you can have a broken Mario Paint mouse with an airbrushed case.
11:15 – He’s looking at a VHS copy of WMAC Masters, some children’s television show from the 1990s, and going into nerdy detail about an episode that he didn’t like. How old was he was this was on? He’s a year older than me. He was 18 years old and watching this.
I watched it too. Not enough to remember any episodes but I watched it. But I knew full well that I was too old to be watching this shit. I think it was shown on Saturday mornings, but this was after Saturday morning cartoons were no longer a thing. They had like “teen” shows later in the morning, into the afternoon. Saved by the Bell and California Dreams and whatnot.
Actually, maybe WMAC Masters was on Fox. Oh, it was syndicated. Maybe Fox was my local syndicate.
I’m thinking that Bruce Lee’s daughter was somehow involved in this. Oh yeah. Shannon Lee. She was the presenter.
Do you suppose John Riggs was spanking it to Saved by the Bell back in the day? Thinking about that Screech. I liked Lisa. I know that Kelly and maybe Jesse (especially with her later Showgirls fame) were suposed to be the hot chicks but they didn’t do anything for me. Even when Kelly was later in Beverly Hills 90210 and they made her hyper sexual in the ads, she still didn’t toss my salad.
I don’t know. I think back of the porn stars I liked, you’re talking Minka, Heather Lee, Sierra, maybe throw Maserati in there. All non-white. Although, I suppose that I also like Blake Mitchell (the woman, not the gay porn star) and Bunny Bleu. Girlfriends have overwhelmingly been non-white. I don’t know.
12:45 – John Riggs is extolling the virtues of bootleg Mario statues.
16:15 – He gets excited by some hentai on VHS. I never got that either. Keep your basic white bitches and keep your hentai.
20:15 – John Riggs is looking at some pornographic horror VHS movies. Dude. Fucking jerk off before you make the video. Go to the bathroom.
So that’s the video. What Gets John Riggs Hard?
I remember in the big bust porn magazines back in the day, there was a section called What Got Grandpa Hard or Tits of Yore. And there’d be some nude, top-heavy woman from the 1950s. Black and white. And it was like from a totally other time.
This was in the 1990s so these women were from 40 years in the past. It’s nearly the same time span between now and those magazine. So if you were to make such a feature today, you’d have fucking Lisa Lipps and whatnot in there. It’s crazy to think about.
Imagine being 50 and still singing this. Even in their prime, this band was shit.
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SimCity (SNES) – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) – Cinemassacre
Mike recently streamed this. For many, many hours. And he did it in the most boring way possible. He just made a grid and did the same formula over and over and over again for the whole map.
I played some SimCity but I mostly played SimCity 2000. And I’d do the same autistic bullshit. Just make a grid and do the same pattern for the whole map. But I’d look at their scenario cities or whatever, which were based on actual cities, and I’d think, “I wish I was creative/artistic enough to do something like that.”
Here we have Mike Matei, world-renowned artist, doing this fucking autistic bullshit for 15 hours or whatever it ended up being.
And as it turns out, it was all just for an AVGN video. These people don’t play games just to play games. Everything has to be for money. And James isn’t even playing games for money. He’s doing nothing. He’s reading a bad script that somebody else wrote for money.
0:00 – But first a word from our sponsors: Keeps.
James, you’re not fooling anybody with that fucking Mortal Kombat hat. YOU’RE BALD! When is he going to get over it? He’s been noticeably bald for at least ten years. It should no longer be a shock to him.
But no, it’s not Keeps, it’s that same fucking VPN. “Please break the terms and conditions of your Netflix account.”
How do you even know which countries are showing which movies on Netflix? Is there a list somewhere? I don’t even know how such a list could be useful. You’d have to have a list of every movie and tv show being shown in every region. And it must change constantly. It’s not something that a team of ten people could even do manually. Or 100 people. I’m not seeing any websites that show this.
1:30 – “What is a video game?”
Really? We’re doing this? “Webster’s dictionary defines ‘baldness’ as the state of being without hair.”
3:45 – He says that the highest level you can get in the game is “megalopolis”. This was the entire point of Mike’s stream. That was his goal. That’s why he was doing this autistic shit instead of something more creative. He openly stated at the start of the stream that he was doing this because he wanted to get to megalopolis. Now we know why. It was for this stupid fucking video. You get a Mario statue in the game for completing this.
4:15 – “I’ve always wanted that statue ever since the magazine taunted me.”
No you didn’t. This was just Mike’s idiotic idea for a video. So he streamed it for however many hours. Couldn’t even do it in his spare time. Everything has to be monetised.
5:45 – He calls the city “Shit City”. Get it? Poop. James Rolfe’s disgusting scat fetish strikes again.
9:00 – James Rolfe, or whoever is playing this, uses a cheat code for unlimited money. How fucking pathetic is this? Whoever is playing this can’t even play it properly.
10:00 – They showed this bit of game footage at least three times already. Unbelievably lazy.
11:15 – James showing off his badass tattoo.
11:45 – Then there’s just a “bonus” game review for some reason. They ran out of ideas for Sim City. It’s Kung Food for the Atari Lynx.
14:00 – Back to Sim City. Whoever is playing this isn’t even playing the game properly. Aside from the money cheat code, they’re putting one bit of railroad track down every two spaces. It’s some exploit.
14:45 – Whoever is playing this is demolishing all of the schools and hospitals saying that it’s required to reach the required population. It isn’t. They’re also putting a bunch of police departments next to each other suggesting that this is necessary as well. It’s not. It’s totally pointless and surely not helping at all.
16:30 – “They complain about housing costs but how am I supposed to fix that?”
I’m guessing that you build more residential areas, Jimmy.
Then it ends with a dumb skit. He doesn’t even get the Mario statue, which was the entire premise of the video.
Directed and written by James Rolfe. Uh huh. Sure it was.
Edited by Sean O’Rourke.
Gamesplay by James and Mike. Uh huh. In what percentages? 99% Mike, 1% James?
Pointless. Dumb. Stupid. These are the words that spring to mind when thinking about this video.
Well, at least there was just the one poop reference. And there was no destroying of the game. There was no long, contrived, “I’d rather (whatever) a (whatever) in the (ass) while (whatever) watches and (jacks off)” bullshit.
So it wasn’t good but there was an absense of some bad things that I don’t like. I don’t know. It was boring. I’m going to take a nap now. Dream about that chubby Asian woman who worked at Screenwave. I wonder if she’s still there.
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ITS SUSHI DAY – Newt Wallen
We’ve got that fucking crack whore Horseface replacement standing in front of a sushi restaurant with some other whore. God, I fucking hate this crack whore. I don’t know why even Newt puts up with this. Are there no other red-haired whores who he can find? She’s awful. Out of the pantheon of whores that Newt has introduced us to, fucking crack whore over here is the worst BY FAR. She makes Horseface look subdued. She makes Fallon look like a genius. She makes PVC Bondage Guy look like a model of good mental health.
Let’s just watch this video and you’ll see what I mean. I suffered through it once already which is why I’m already worked up.
0:00 – “We eat sushi. A lot of it.”
Great. Good use of the English language. And she’s CONSTANTLY pushing her breasts together or otherwise adjusting them to reveal MORE cleavage. And you can already see her shrivelled old tits in this fucking whore outfit that she’s got on. Madam, you’re 40 and you’re addicted to crack cocaine. Enough of this. It’s time to put some clothes on. Nobody wants to see this.
So this fucking crack whore is there with some other whore. She met her from the set of XXX-Mas. You guys all saw XXX-Mas, right? That fucking blockbuster. If they sold 50 copies, I’d be astonished.
0:15 – “Actually, Shawn is the one who introduced me to Sushi AI.”
You’re probably thinking, “She mentioned who Shawn is, right?” NO. We’re just supposed to know. Like we all know Shawn. Is this somebody involved with XXX-Mas? Let me look this up, if there’s even information on this “film.”
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm13539356
Maybe this guy. Shaun Scott. He played Jack Rabbit. That memorable character.
Can’t find any pictures of him. Cant’ find any information about him. We’re just supposed to know who this fucking guy is. Shaun. Shaun from XXX-Mas. I guess. I only assumed that last part. Maybe it’s Shawn Kemp.
What’s that guy doing these days? Arrested in 2023 in connection with a driveby shooting. How embarrassing. 53 years old and still doing this shit. Seven children with six women. God bless multiculturalism.
I can hear my girlfriend saying, “You always talk about black people like white people are so perfect.” You’re right. There’s no shortage of scumbags in all races. We’ve got a couple of humdingers right here in this video.
So the other whore says, “I’ve know about Sushi AI since college.” This woman went to college? I know that it doesn’t mean anything. Literally anybody can go to college in the US. But you look at the statistics and it’s something crazy like…I’ll say 30% of Americans have college degrees. Let me look this up.
35% have a bachelor’s degree or higher.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Educational_attainment_in_the_United_States
Depending on the type of jobs you do and the type of people you hang around with, you might think that everybody has a degree. No. I’ve had shitty jobs where not a single person anywhere had a degree. This is normal. Two-thirds of the population: no degree.
I wonder what the UK degree attainment is. I’ll bet it’s a lot lower. No, it’s about the same.
It’s meaningless. But it’s just surprising how few people have degrees given how easy it is to get one. You just put the time and the money in. It’s not about intellect. You just buy it.
For what it’s worth, I advise people not to go to college/university unless you’re planning on doing a particular job that requires a particular degree. Nurse, doctor, lawyer, teacher, that sort of shit. It’s a total waste of time and money otherwise. I never had a job that required a degree and I never will.
Anyway, this dumb whore has a degree. Look where it got her. Case in point.
0:30 – It’s $15 for all you can eat sushi, including appetizers. This crack whore really wants you to know the details. Then the other whore says, “I paid extra because I can’t finish my food like a bitch. It’s over there.”
I think what she’s indicating is that she paid extra to take the leftovers out. She points to a bag on the floor, some distance from them.
Then the crack whore says, “Yeah…ummm…I have a hollow leg. Got to keep…keep the fat on.”
You might be thinking, “What the fuck does this mean?” Well, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think what was going through her crack-addled mind was that she has a hollow leg so she’s hiding food in there. To avoid payment. Because there’s apparently a charge to take food out, which is kind of weird in itself but I understand that it’s a buffet. You’re not supposed to really take food out.
So I get the first sentence. Kind of. But…”Got to keep the fat on”? I think that this is just a reference to her eating a lot at the buffet. I don’t know.
Then the other whore says, “I’ve got some hollow tits.”
She’s just trying to keep up with this complete insanity. Nothing is making sense. This is the random ramblings of a crack whore.
1:00 – “I think everyone who’s going to be in the new movie that we’re going to be in…the new…pool…movie…”
She doesn’t know the name.
Then she clearly looks at her notes and awkwardly says “Amityville…Pool…Toy…Massacre.”
Some other whore then walks by and calls these two whores “cute” or something. I don’t know.
Then the one whore starts saying, “I miss the Midwest so much” while crack whore says, “Oh, a diamond shop.” Then the other whore says, “I want to go in there but with a penis. Not me having one but someone else having one.”
Ummm…what in the name of fuck is any of this? First of all, why does she miss the Midwest? Where are they anyway? Let me see if I can find this restaurant.
Missouri. Is that in the Midwest? I’d say South. Let me check.
No, it’s definitely in the Midwest. I was thinking it was by Mississippi. Just because of the similar names, really.
So she misses the Midwest, I guess, because of the folksy people who pay compliments to whores. But where has she been? She’s apparently from Missouri. I guess. I mean, she went to college there anyway. And they seem to be living there. At least one of them is. I think. Whatever. Who gives a shit?
But then she says that she wants to enter this diamond shop “with a penis”. By which she means a man. This is how she refers to men, apparently.
Nobody talks like this. I don’t care how big of a misandrist you are, NOBODY refers to men in this way. Just like no man, no matter how big a misogynist, says, “Boy, I’d love to go into this strip club with a pussy.” BECAUSE IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. As this dumb whore quickly points out, she doesn’t mean that she wants to go in with a penis of her own, but rather she’s using this to refer to a man. Because the first thing you think of when somebody says, “I want to go in there but with a penis” is that you want to go in there with…I don’t even know…carrying a penis? YOU’RE AN IDIOT!
1:45 – Crack whore keeps mentioning that every whore in this proposed “movie” has “buoyancy”, which is supposed to be a sexy reference to big tits. Nobdoy is aroused. NOBODY.
Then the other whore says, “The most buoyant part of me is my brain.” It’s a reference to her being stupid but…does it hold up? What’s the joke about breasts being buoyant anyway? That they’re full of fat, I guess. So…if your brain is full of fat, I guess that would be indicative of low intelligence. “Fat head” is an insult for stupid people. I guess by sheer luck, that desperate, throwaway line did hold up to scrutiny.
2:15 – Crack whore says that next month they’re “filming” this movie. It’s in Delaware, by the way. Why is it in Delaware? Newt lives in Pennsylavania. The whores live in Missouri. Why Delware? All they need is a pool. A pool and whores.
I’m telling you that there is absolutely NO WAY that this is going to get filmed. None. Zero. No fucking chance of it. That “investor” is going to reverse the charge or something. There is no way that it’s happening. This fucking piece of shit? Nobody is going to pay for this. I don’t care how retarded they are.
Crack whore says that she doesn’t know who dies and who doesn’t. Not even her own character. She didn’t read the fucking script.
2:45 – “We’re flying Southwest so we have two giant checked bags that we can check for free.”
God. Look at this. This crack whore considers CHECKED LUGGAGE as some kind of proof that she’s living large. Wow. Southwest Airlines. Now you’re traveling in style. TWO checked luggages for FREE? What a fucking luxury.
“So how many sex toys do you think we can fit in one bag?”
Well, it’s a simple math question, really. Give me the dimensions of the sex toy and then the volume of the bag.
But the more important question is “why?” Why would they bring sex toys to a film shoot? There’s not going to be any sex scenes. This is weird, zero-budget, softcore porn that NOBODY is going to watch and it’s not even going to get made.
This was just another weird attempt at being “sexy” by this fucking crack addicted whore. How much crack can you fit in that bag? That’s what she’s really wondering.
3:00 – Then the other whore starts counting how many sex toys she actually has. She says, “Seven or eight or nine but that includes the lingerie and the lube and the condoms.”
IN WHAT UNIVERSE ARE ANY OF THOSE ITEMS SEX TOYS?
And this is a whore. Alright? It’s a legit, no-fooling, sex for money, whore. She only has a few items of lingerie? I’m thinking that most whores have entire wardrobes of lingerie. People want different shit. You have repeat customers. You’re going to wear the same Carol Brady nightgown every time? Mix it up. People want something different and exciting. You should have various costumes as well. Nurse, policewoman, cowgirl, whatever.
The crack whore then says that they also need to bring tripods and lights. YOU’RE THE “ACTORS”! Why are the actors bringing the fucking equipment?
3:30 – “If you want us to wear something on set, we would be happy to make a deal.”
It doesn’t sound like you have anything. And make a deal? What? She wants us to pay. She’s already getting paid, apparently, but she wants MORE money for wearing a particular outfit that you want. But…how many wardrobe changes are there going to be? And I think that it mostly takes place in a pool so…you’re kind of limited to swimsuits, right?
Anyway, I want that crack whore to wear one of those sailor swimsuits that they wore in Victorian times. Cover that shit up, madam. We don’t need to see your track marks.
So that’s the video. Terrible. Terrible, terrible, awful, terrible woman. I don’t want anything specifically bad to happen to her, I just want the earth to swallow her whole and we never have to see or hear from her again. Is that asking too much? Some people have absolutely no value. Crack whore is such a person. I don’t mean crack whores generally, I mean this crack whore in particular.
Astonishingly awful person. I don’t know how Newt does it. Where does he find this absolute human garbage? Like finds like, I guess.
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Video Game Collection 2024 – How much I sold (and for how much) – Cannot be Tamed
Whoa! Another hot video from Pam. Looks like she’s hiding a smuggling a couple of watermelons up in there, am I right? Trying to sneak that fruit over the border so that she can visit her “friend” Pele.
0:15 – These tattoos are really putting me off. What a terrible decision that was. “I’m 40 years old. Time to get all tatted up.”
1:15 – She’s going to show the spreadsheets of what she sold. HOT! Show those formulas, baby. Autosum? More like autocum.
2:00 – She sold 49 games at some nerd convention with her girlfriend Pele aka Michelle and got $1875 for it. The most expensive item was a Gun-Nac for $400. These prices are all in Canadian dollars. So $1875 is $1375 American dollars.
5:00 – She went to a different nerd convention. She sold 32 items worth $1150 here. That’s $850 American.
None of this is worth doing. How much is your time worth? And then having to deal with these fat fucking nerds? Pam has made it clear in this video that she HATES dealing with them. She hates haggling. She hates dealing with the horntards. I mean…I don’t blame her but then why do it? Just put the shit on Ebay.
8:00 – She says that she doesn’t know what to do with her unsold 100+ games. They’re on her shelf. She says that she hasn’t even alphabetised them “And that’s insane for me.” Hello, autism.
She ends the video by saying that she’s selling this shit to pay for her dog’s vet bills. And she’s thinking of putting this shit on Facebook Marketplace. No mention of Ebay.
Is Ebay no good any more?
I recently subscribed to this guy. He’s kind of an asshole. In this very video, he hassles the old man in the thumbnail over a joke that he told. The guy is selling deer antlers and suggests that he can grind them to use as medicine. The store owner inexplicably gets offended by this and keeps saying, “What kind of disease do you think I have?”
It’s called a joke, asshole.
But this guy has a pawn shop but they don’t call it a pawn shop. They call it a “resale shop”. They don’t actually offer loans like a pawn shop does.
So people come in, it’s a lot of junkies and people selling stolen shit, but sometimes it’s just desperate people or clueless people. He offers them a pitance and then just puts the shit on Ebay.
I don’t get it. Why are these people not putting the stuff on Ebay themselves? Even by his own admission, he offers 50% of what he thinks he can get for the items. Why give him 50%? Just sell the shit on Ebay yourself. It’s free. Ebay takes a cut but it’s not 50%. And you include the cost of the shipping so that doesn’t cost you anything.
Everything that people bring in, he says, “Oh, this is a piece of shit. Look at the scratch here. I can only pay ten bucks” or whatever. But when somebody wants to buy something from him, suddenly it’s all priceless treasures.
There was an immigrant from India or somewhere who wanted to buy a laptop. And this Jew owner says, “Brand new, this is a $1500 laptop”. Yeah. But it’s not brand new. That thing is from three years ago. Put a reasonable fucking price on it.
And this is his big complaint when people come in, when they talk about how much something costs new. He’s always the first one to say, “Well, it’s not new, it’s used.”
He talks about his fucking cabin and all of this shit. And his employees are making a pitance. Fuck him.
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VACATION POLTERGEISTS – At It Again – Chris Bores
I think that I found a new favourite channel. I haven’t laughed this hard in I don’t know how long.
So he recorded this with his phone and originally published the video on Twitter. It has these annoying words that light up as he speaks. Like the transcript.
0:00 – He talks about “battling all of the dark crazies on the other side.”
He’s with his family on vacation for Memorial Day. He’s staying in a cabin. He has a golf cart. He’s not golfing, I think he’s just at some place where you can go to…I don’t know. He doesn’t explain. But there are other places to go to at this venue and you’re expected to tool around in a golf cart to do that. That’s humiliating. I would never go to such a place.
So he was coming back from the pool with his family, while riding on this golf cart. He only used it for ten minutes. Then it died in the middle of the road.
0:30 – “I looked at my wife and I was like, ‘Here we go again.’ We have the worst luck with electronics because these things just attack the electronics.”
The golf cart broke down so Chris’ immediate reaction is, “It must be ghosts.”
I would have liked to hear about his wife’ reaction to this. Is she going along with this ghost nonsense?
How seriously is Chris taking this? He knows that it’s bullshit, surely. How can he not? He’s developing these cheap contraptions and going on local news programs at Halloween. This is a scam. He can’t believe this.
But I don’t know. Maybe he does. Because he says a lot of absolutely batshit crazy stuff that I’m pretty sure that he believes in. Not limited to the undead. He’s mentally ill.
The comments in these videos are 100% making fun of Chris. There’s not one person who believes any of this shit. So if it’s a scam, it can’t possibly be a successful one. Maybe, at least on some level, he believes this nonsense about ghosts haunting his vacation golf cart.
Why would a ghost attack a golf cart? If the ghost wanted to kill Chris, wouldn’t they attack his car when he’s going 80 miles an hour?
Are ghosts even interested in electronics? How long have these ghosts been dead? Do they even know what this shit is? You think some Colonial-era ghost knows how to disable a golf cart? They’ve never seen such a thing when they were alive. Were they studying this shit in the afterlife? Maybe took an automotive course in the afterlife?
Even if it was the ghost of somebody who died fairly recently, which you don’t hear about often. Ghosts tend to be from the old days. But even if it was somebody who died recently, they’d still have to know about the inner workings of a golf cart. I’d have no fucking idea how to disable a golf cart. I’d be the worst poltergeist ever, at least as far as electronics go.
And why Memorial Day? Why target Chris on Memorial Day? Is the day relevant? Maybe it’s the ghost of a dead soldier who’s upset that Chris is tooling around in a golf cart on Memorial Day instead of honoring the war dead. The ghost is angry that the holiday has been turned into an excuse to have barbeques.
0:45 – So anyway, Chris goes to the office and they get the golf cart started again no problem. Chris asks the guy if golf carts breaking down is a normal thing. The guy says no. The guy obviously thinks that Chris is just an idiot who can’t operate the golf cart. Little does this guy know that it’s much worse than that. Chris is a lunatic who believes that GHOSTS are haunting the golf cart.
But Chris takes the guy’s comment of “this is kind of a werid case” as further proof that it was ghosts. As opposed to his own ineptitude.
1:15 – “Being a ghost behaviorist just paints a target on you.”
From the mental health community, perhaps.
Then he talks about how he couldn’t record that podcast recently because ghosts targetted his phone.
So Chris went to the Verizon store and said, “Fix my phone. There’s a ghost in there.”
I mean, come on. If he genuinely thought it was a ghost, why would he bring it to the Verizon store? He’d bring it to a priest. Or he’d perform his own exoricism. He’s the Ghost Doctor, after all.
Anyway, the phone guy said that it’s an easy fix, something to do with the sim card reader, but Chris didn’t want to pay the money. So he brought the phone home and it started working again. And he never had the error again.
What’s the point of any of these stories? Something breaks and then for no apparent reason it begins working again.
I could see if the golf cart broke, for example, and then he performed an exorcism and then it worked again. You might say, “Well, it was clearly ghosts and my exorcism did the trick.” But he did NOTHING.
2:15 – “This is a constant thing with me.”
You’ve mentioned two examples. Give some more examples of ghosts haunting your electronics.
2:30 – “For all of you who think being a ghost behaviourist is glamorous, you know you have to put up with all of this other crap.”
First of all, NOBODY thinks that being a “ghost behaviorist” is glamorous. We all think that it’s a sign of severe mental illness.
But secondly, what crap? We’ve all had shitty electronics that didn’t work properly. You get a fucking refund. You don’t chalk it up to ghosts.
2:45 – Chris says that ghosts “pester” him in his sleep and in his dreams…your ELECTRONICS.
I just imagine ghosts as being more analogue. But I guess ghosts are just keeping up with the times. Gone are the days of rattling chains and throwing books and appearing in mirrors. Now they’re fucking with your sim card reader.
3:00 – “You can’t make this stuff up.”
Oh sure. A malfunctioning golf cart and phone. I could never dream up such a crazy scenario.
That’s the video. I just can’t figure out how much of this he’s putting on. Because it would be so easy to just say all of this crazy shit because you’re trying to get views. Everybody is laughing at him, there’s no question, but he can still do this just to get the views, however small the views are. People pointing and laughing at the lunatic are still viewers.
“I’m breaking character in this video and I want to talk about a few things that have gone viral.”
So it is just an act.
Then Chris calls out somebody called Dr Disrespect. Professional jealousy. Two doctors.
But, oddly, Chris is talking about this guy doing something with “minors”. Chris himself has made some sketchy posts just recently when he went to Disney World and was taking creep shots of those teenagers and talking about how he wished he would have talked to them more.
Then Chris talks about some mentally ill bullshit about the top gaming Youtubers having sex with “minors” on an island. That’s literally his argument.
Chris, you’ll be the first one “exposed” for your “inner daemons”.
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Another Fat White Guy Visits Newt Wallen and PVC Bondage Guy
0:00 – This is Neil. He’s a big Newt Wallen fan, apparently. Says that he regularly talks about wrestling in Newt’s Discord hoping to woo PVC Bondage Guy. He’s Canadian, I think. He travelled from Canada for this. He’s about 400 pounds.
5:00 – Newt is telling a story about the time he filmed a “movie” with Ron Jeremy, Lexington Steel, and the black guy from Love Boat. PVC Bondage Guy doesn’t know who this Love Boat guy is, not having been born when the show was on.
Was Newt even born then? Was I? Let me look this up.
Wow. 1977 to 1986. That’s later than I thought. I know of the show but I don’t think that I’ve ever seen an episode. I wasn’t in the proper demographic.
Then Love Boat: The Next Wave in 1998 and 1999. I remember that but I never watched it.
Anyway, Newt can’t even fit on the couch with this fatass here.
And this guy is here because he wants to have sex with PVC Bondage Guy. Do you suppose that she offers this service? I wouldn’t be surprised. A hundred bucks and you can do whatever. She’s earning every penny of that having to be with these losers.
10:45 – Shout out to my complaint about Newt and PVC Bondage Guy sharing the same beverage container.
11:00 – Then Newt says something like he can’t post on Facebook because “crazy face is back at it”, which I assume is a reference to me. He says that there’s somebody contacting people who he worked with and doing something.
Newt, get it through your thick fucking skull. I am not doing that. And if it’s anyone who reads this, please refrain from harassing Newt Wallen and do something productive with your life. I do not support this pscyho shit.
13:15 – PVC Bondage Guy is talking about she “barely bit” this fat guy and she was throwing him around. So yeah, this is a sex thing. They’re getting fat nerds to pay PVC Bondage Guy for sex.
15:00 – Newt is talking about how he’s making his shitty movie for that autistic guy who gave him money.
21:30 – Newt is talking about how three of the four prostitutes who he has for this shitty movie that he’s doing are “redheads”.
24:30 – PVC Bondage Guy is yelling at the ladyboys for “spoiling” a wrestling show from 1997.
27:45 – PVC Bondage Guy talks about how she “code switches”, by which she means she sometimes uses the German word for things. Umm…okay. Let’s just pretend that the crazy lady didn’t say that.
31:30 – PVC Bondage Guy talks about how he flashed his breasts during a recent stream and this is now Patreon-only content. Yeah, that’s what we want to see. A man’s breasts. The guy sitting next to her has a real pair on him, by the way.
I’m turning this off. I’m at 40:00. It’s a fat guy talking to a whore and whatever the fuck Newt is about professional wrestling from the 1990s. WHO CARES? Newt, you have to up your game.
He had a desperate video recently. Where is it? Ah, here.
“Let’s get wet.” He’s got another red-haired prostitute who he wants to show off.
“I’m Mel Heflin. You might know me from such movies as…”
No. Madam. Join us in the real world. NOBODY has seen these “movies” that you claim to have been in. And doing an impression of Troy McClure is not helping.
“Speaking of Swamp Zombies 2, that’s where I met…Newt Wallen.”
She had to stop think what his name is. They’re real friends.
“And speaking of Newt Wallen, I’m pretty sure the guy’s a genius.”
It’s just a prostitute enabling Newt’s delusions because she’s trying to get money out of him.
“I love all of his scripts.”
Uh huh.
“I heard he wrote me an underwater scene.”
Yeah. Sounds like a really great script. An underwater scene, you say.
“So be on the lookout for Amityville Pool Toy Massacre.”
You mean this “movie” that’s being bankrolled by a fat, mentally ill, retarded ladyboy who goes to Newt’s channel? THAT’S the “movie” you want us to be on the lookout for?
Will we get to see this fat whore underwater?
You know, I’m reminded of a documentary I saw about a hippo defecating underwater. I don’t remember the context but there was a hippo swimming underwater, as graceful as a hippo can be, and just a cloud of shit coming out of it’s ass. There was a reason that they were shooting this. Some kind of animals were attracted to the poop.
Maybe Newt can plagiarise that scene for the “movie”. Have this woman taking a dump underwater and there’s just a cloud of grass-filled stool coming out of her. I’ll tell you one person who would buy it: James Rolfe.
Let’s look this fucking whore up. See if we can find some candid pictures of her that accurately reflect her appearance.
All I’m really seeing is her Instagram which has highly staged photos. But even these betray her rubenesque physique.
I wonder if that hippo documentary is anywhere.
Well, there are a surprising number of videos of hippos defecating but none are the video that I saw. I think that it was a documentary on BBC with David Attenborough.