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PVC Bondage Guy’s Pathetic Porn “Career”
1:41:00 – “When I went to start making porn, when I went to do like hang girl stuff…”
Do I even want to look this up? Eugh. I guess that I have a journalistic obligation.
Nothing immediately comes up. I’m not even sure if that’s what she said. I’m moving on.
But this discussion came about because some horntard said that she’s wearing a Suicide Girls t-shirt. What is this? 1999? This site can not possibly still exist.
It does and it started in 2001. I knew some fat goth chick from a band’s website who was going to do that but I don’t know if she ever did. This must have been around 2001. It was all the rage then. But in 2024? No fucking way.
“I signed up for a website called MyFreeCams.”
Yeah. I’m familiar. A bunch of women from impoverished countries go there and even they aren’t making enough money to live on. Go on.
She says that she streamed “a few times.”
Then she looked into doing “modeling” for Suicide Girls.
She didn’t end up submitting the “portfolio” and paperwork. She says that now she has more “body mods” so presumably, she thinks that she has a better chance of getting accepted now.
First of all, I’m sure that they accept absolutely everbody. Secondly, YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT. What part of this is she not getting? Who’s the person who wants to see PVC Bondage Guy naked. It’s madness. This is a hot chick? I will never go to Pennsylvania if these are the hot chicks there. Fucking PVC Bondage Guy, Horseface, 300 Pound Johanna. Come on.
1:43:00 – She got two free passes to something called Blackheart Burlesque. I guess. I had to listen to this about five time. Take some elocution lessons, PVC Bondage Guy. I’m really struggling with this story. But it’s apparently something to do with Suicide Girls. She got the free passes because she was on MyFreeCams.
Newt, constantly thinking about himself, is upset that she didn’t take him. She says that she was dating somebody at the time.
“Both times I went, they did this amateur stripper contest at the end.”
Eugh. Please do not finish this story.
She won both times.
Stop right here. PVC Bondage Guy won a stripping contest. What could the other women POSSIBLY have looked like that fucking PVC Bondage Guy won?
She won a tank top for her efforts. Oh, how fucking sad is this? Stripping for a TANK TOP.
Then Newt starts talking about himself, of course. A “comedy” story about how he was in a wet t-shirt contest. Uh huh. Great. Let’s focus on your crazy friend here and her story.
So anyway, that’s the story. It went nowhere. It could have gone somewhere if Newt wasn’t so fucking self-obsessed and could even PRETEND to take an interest in other people.
I’ll tell you how PVC Bondage Guy might be able to make some money on MyFreeCams. The business model is that you pay the woman to take her clothes off and masturbate and shove vegetables up her ass and whatnot. That’s fine and good.
But PVC Bondage Guy can turn that business model on its head. She starts off naked and with a cucumber up her ass and then people say, “Oh, god. I don’t want to see this. I’ll give you $20 if you put your clothes back on.”
She could come up with a whole menu of stuff she’ll do for money. She’ll take her “meds” for $10. She’ll refer to herself as a woman for $15. She’ll wash that makeup off for $25. She’ll put a dress on for $50. She’ll go to a job interview for $100.
Instead of paying a woman to debase herself, you’d be paying her to try to get her life together. I think that it could work. There’s a certain thrill in having a positive influence in somebody’s life.
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My First Vintage Pokémon Card Opening! – Retro Ali
0:00 – Retro Ali is with some guy but…we don’t see anyone. All we see is their hands. Because Retro Ali is really self-conscious after gaining 50 pounds.
This is fucking pathetic. Who’s watching this? Who’s watching a fat chick and some random guy opening Pokemon cards? Does she honestly think that this is entertainment?
0:45 – Then we don’t even see them opening the cards but Retro Ali just starts screaming like a fucking chimp. What is going on?
These two buffoons are represented by static drawings in the corner of the screen, by the way.
1:30 – Then there’s vintage footage of a slim Retro Ali screaming for some reason. She just wants to remind you that she wasn’t always 50 pounds overweight. But she doesn’t want to actually eat right and exercise to get back down to that weight. That would require effort.
2:00 – She’s screaming at some more cards. I don’t know why.
3:15 – She starts screaming again.
Guess what, you dumb bitch? I’m done.
There’s a “good” card in every fucking pack. You don’t know this? Why is this so fucking exciting to you?
309 views after three days. No comments. The only comment is hers, “please turn down your volume to watch this video… sorry LMAO”.
No. Nobody wants to watch this utter trash. These fucking “reaction” videos that she tried to make a living off of. Fucking piece of shit JOHN RIGGS actually recommended Retro Ali as one of the best video game channels EVER. No qualifications. He didn’t say, “Best women-run channels.” He just made a video declaring the ten best channels about video games. They all just happened to be women.
What a disingenuous piece of shit. Did he have sex with ANY of those women after he made that video? Let me see if that article is on the blog. It was from years ago.
No. I see references to it in other articles but not the article itself. I don’t even see it in in my personal archive of my Reddit posts from years ago.
Well, it was dumb. And Retro Ali is the worst fucking channel I have ever seen. It’s not enjoyable on any level. And it’s only gotten worse. An anime avatar? Just fucking lose weight, you dumb bitch.
Nobody is watching this trash. Her channel is completely done. What’s with this quarter-assed attempt to revive her channel?
Let’s look at her Twitter. You want to guess what she’s writing about? I’ll guess Pokemon and advertising her Twitch streams.
Yeah. It was exactly that. She could not be interesting to save her miserable life.
“Here’s me with some guy!” Who’s the guy? We don’t know. We just see his hands. We’re supposed to know. We’re supposed to know who “d20zee” is. You guys all know d20zee, right?
He has 26 followers on Twitter. We’re supposed to know this guy. No introduction needed.
Is that him? The non-Asian guy, I mean. The giant fucking nerd next to fatass Retro Ali.
So I assume that this is her boyfriend. Why not just say that? “My boyfriend is here. He’s going to help me look at these Pokemon cards while I scream like a fucking jackass.”
Here’s a video where he’s with fatass Retro Ali. So it must be her boyfriend.
I don’t know. Could Retro Ali do better? She’s dumb as a sack of hammers. She’s annoying. She’s fat. She works at Disney World. She has no redeeming qualities.
So when you put it into perspective, I’m surprised that she managed to find ANYONE.
The question then becomes could that guy do any better? God. It has to be no. A giant fucking nerd talking about RPGs? And I think it’s tabletop RPGs.
No. These are two bottom feeders who are so far down the depths of the ocean that they’ve lost their sense of sight. They’re both lucky to have found ANYBODY.
This is from their joint channel. There’s only one video. This one. It was uploaded six months ago and has 99 views. They’re just reading…I don’t even know…questions submitted by giant nerds about RPGs.
Absolutely unwatchable video. But at least we finally get some insight into Retro Ali’s life. She’s fat and her boyfriend is a giant nerd. Like ENORMOUS. Not in stature but in…whatever.
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More Streaming from the Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen
0:00 – He says that he shaved. I’ve never tried to grow any facial hair. Is that weird? Am I missing out on something important?
I don’t think that anything would grow. I don’t use shaving cream or gel or anything. Just once every day or two I wet a razor and shave my upper lip, the area by my ears, and my chin. I use tweezers for everything else. Maybe I could grow a moustache. Maybe. But I’m pretty sure that that’s it. Maybe a creepy moustache is the answer to all of my problems.
3:00 – Newt is telling some cryptic story about a director of some shitty movies who unfriended him on Facebook after thinking that he’s Jewish. He did some work for this director, apparently. The director is a woman, by the way.
“American Fetish X is one that she asked me to work on and I got her some friends of mine, this is like 2011, I got her friends of mine who were sex workers at the time and nothing ever came of that whole thing.”
Newt openly admitting that he has “sex worker” “friends”. He’s a complete piece of shit.
Speaking of which, I think that Newt tried to get the blog shut down after I posted this article:
You know what happened? Nothing. It’s some of that delicious free speech.
Newt will bitch about Youtube trying to silence him over the disgusting porn that he uploads there but I can’t talk about what a piece of shit he is? Fuck off.
6:00 – “How’s the new job? It’s a lot. I’m a little bit regretting some of the decisions that I made. I turned down a dream job because I was trying to get out of the theatre industry but now I’m kind of regretting it.”
Somebody left a comment on the blog, somebody who seems to be in Newt’s inner circle, and they said that he’s working in that he’s working at FYE now. It’s some chain of nerd shops, apparently.
If it was such a dream job why turn it down to work in retail management?
8:00 – Newt says that it was Passover recently so had a large number of Jewish people come into his establishment. But…he’s talking about…like a go kart track, I think. So Newt is working at a go kart track? In addition to FYE or instead of it? Is he still working at the movie theatre?
9:00 – Newt says that he asked people to review Swamp Zombies 2 but, “There weren’t a lot of people chomping at the bit to review that one.”
Well, no shit. It’s worse than a student film.
10:30 – Newt says that he’s shadowbanned from Youtube. Well, posting pornography can have that result.
11:30 – Newt is talking about a “Ukranian girl” who he “cast” in some unreleased softcore porn that never got finished. She shows her breasts. He says that she died a few years ago. I know where this is going. You fucked her in the ass, right? You’re going to tell us about all of the sodomy that you got up to with this dead chick? This seems to be Newt’s thing.
Oh, and she died of cancer too. Just like his “friend” with that sweet colon.
12:15 – Newt is talking about public domain movies that he wants to plagiarise from. Creature from the Haunted Sea is the movie that he wants to rip off. Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.
21:30 – The “dream job” that he referenced earlier was “house manager” at the Colonial Theatre.
He declined that to work in a nerd shop and/or a go kart track. Watching Orthodox Jews go around and around in a circle all day. What a life.
I’m going to go get some cereal. Keep my energy up.
27:30 – Creator Clash. Somebody asks Newt if he would do it. Newt says that it’s been cancelled because the people who ran it owed a lot of people money.
But that would be great. Newt Wallen vs James Rolfe. Unfortunately, no doctor on earth would sanction Newt as being fighting fit.
30:00 – Newt says that his boners are okay now. Well, Joe from Gamesack will be pleased to hear that.
32:30 – “A young lady who’s a very, very attractive young lady, who’s a friend of Metz’ wants to come and stream with us as well.”
What a piece of shit Newt is.
But back to Joe from Gamesack looking at Newt’s penis, how fucking weird is all of this? I was watching Joe’s latest video today. And I was thinking Joe from Gamesack knows about the blog, Newt knows about it, Erin, whoever. And it’s a blog. It’s a blog that gets 200 hits a day.
Not that these people are big time celebrities by any means. Most of them are unemployed. Newt at least works so I’ll give him that. That’s his one redeeming quality, perhaps. But I suppose that these people have some kind of followings. 200,000 subscribers for John Riggs. But that guy still makes time to check out the blog every day.
I don’t care because these people are complete nobodies. They’re entirely beneath me. But imagine if you were writing a blog about some big Hollywood celebrity. Dolly Parton, let’s say. And every day, I’m writing about what a piece of trash she is.
I would shit my pants if Dolly Parton started reading the blog. Well, maybe I should branch out. Start writing about large bust celebrities. Maybe I could get a date out of it.
There used to be a blog called Washed up Celebrities. It still exists but it hasn’t been updated since 2014. And the guy wrote an article about Harriet from Small Wonder. And the boyfriend or husband or Harriet said that she’s not washed up, she’s a pleasant woman, and if you knew her you wouldn’t write these things. This sort of thing.
So maybe it’s possible. I can start talking about Kat Dennings and whoever and before you know it, I’m fucking Hollywood movie starlets.
But back to The Ideas Man.
34:00 – “I had to stop seeing my therapist because of financial reasons.”
I don’t think that it was doing any good anyway.
“I stopped meds all together because it was making me feel off.”
It seems that the “meds” didn’t do anything either. By the way, I REALLY hate how people say “meds”. It’s always crazy people who use this term.
35:00 – Newt says that he has six months left on his lease and he was, “Offered to move out of the area.” Whatever that means.
So leases are 12 months in the US? Maybe they are. I don’t remember. They’re definitely six months in England. ZERO in Scotland. It’s glorious. And landlords have to have a really good reason to kick you out. There’s no more “no-fault” evictions. You have to be really behind on your rent or a verified public nuisance.
I was evicted once because the landlord wanted to fix the floor in the bathroom and he knew that this would require putting me in a hotel for a few days. He didn’t want that minor expense so he just evicted me. What an asshole. You wouldn’t be able to do that today.
36:45 – Oh, he says that was “offered to move to Albany, New York.” He’s talking about job offers.
“I’m worried about leaving this area because this is where my friends are.”
Newt…they have prostitutes in Albany too. Don’t worry about it.
How far away is it anyway? 230 miles…five hour drive. Yeah, that is pretty far. And you have to go through New York City. Fuck that. Also Poughkeepsie.
50:00 – Newt is talking in detail about his penis surgery. No, thanks. I think I’m good.
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Indiana Jones Video Games pt1: Raiders of the Lost Ark Atari Review – Irate Gamer
Grr. He’s angry! Or irate.
Less than seven minutes long and it’s “part 1”. I think that this is going to be like his AWFUL Jurassic Park trilogy where he “reviewed” six games in four minutes.
I feel like I’m the only person who knows about this shit. Who else remembers these awful Jurassic Park videos that Chris BORES made? It’s got to be nobody.
He starts the video by urging you to sign up to his Patreon. Uh huh. I’ll get right on that, Chris BORES.
He releases the videos there first. I don’t really get the appeal. Who cares? Who cares that you can watch the video two weeks before the general public? I’ll wait. I don’t have a problem waiting. I don’t care if you ever release anything ever again.
0:45 – He says that he was unable to review this game FOR YEARS because he couldn’t figure out how to start the game. This does not bode well.
Then there’s footage of him allegedly from 2007, 2010, and some other years trying to play the game. Eugh. This is dumb filler material that could have all been edited out.
2:15 – “This guy easily bends me over without breaking a sweat and fucks the life from me ten ways from Sunday.”
Why does he always include so much homosexual material in the videos? We get it, Chris. You’re gay. Do you have to include this shit in the video? It’s totally inappropriate.
Start a channel called the Gay Gamer and do this shit. Or just The Gaymer. These names have to be taken already. Let me look.
Well, Gaymer seems to be taken but “GayGamer” seems free. Or maybe they banned the name.
3:15 – Repeated footage of Chris BORES trying and failing to get ET out of the hole because he’s a fucking idiot and not playing the game properly.
“You long-necked dipshit.”
Uh huh. There’s something gay in that, I’m sure.
Oh, by the way, Chris BORES also repeatedly suggests that the character in this Indiana Jones game is raping the title character. Funny stuff. Rape. Get it?
3:45 – “Fuck muffins.”
Uh huh. That thing.
4:00 – “Rapey McRaperson.”
Uh huh. Nothing funnier than sexual assault.
4:30 – Bad acting of Chris BORES in his stupid Indiana Jones outfit being “irate”.
He can’t figure out how to play the game. So he looks up a playthrough on the internet. But…then he still can’t figure it out. So he just abruptly ends the video.
Good job, Chris BORES. Could have used more homosexual rape references. Just come out of the closet, you fucking faggot.
- “Huh…was kind of expecting you to actually finish the Atari version.”
Well. no shit. Who wouldn’t? But that would have required effort.
He can’t finish an ATARI game. And this game takes like five minutes to complete. Let me look this up.
Yeah, there’s a speed run at seven minutes. The game is awful, of course. Just cryptic bullshit.
I’m seeing some obscure references to Chris BORES moving abroad in the comments and on Reddit, possibly over some legal issues. Is this true?
I don’t think so. His Twitter is just full of him ranting against people stealing his “ghost hunting” revelations and then this creepy as fuck post where he’s taking pictures of teenagers at Disney World.
And here’s Chris BORES saying that a ghost got angry with him in Disney World because he didn’t pray for the ghost:
Chris BORES is a Jesus nut. Does the ghost stuff jive with Christianity? Maybe? I mean, the Holy Spirit used to be called the Holy Ghost before they wanted to stop scaring children with that shit.
You really don’t hear much about the Holy Spirit. But he’s part of the fucking Holy Trinity. You have God, we know all about him. There’s Jesus, also well-known. And then the Holy Spirit. Name one fact about the Holy Spirit.
Is this thing even mentioned in the bible? Let me check Wikipedia.
I’m none the wiser after reading that. Something about a brief mention of “licking flames” or something in the bible allegedly supposed to be the Holy Spirit. Well, how does that help me? What the fuck does the Holy Spirit want from me, if anything? How can I appease it?
Maybe Chris BORES can turn his ghost hunting on the Holy Spirit. Maybe with the help of some depressed teenage goths at Disney World.
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HI IS ANYONE HERE? – Ray Mona
Two hours of candid, unscripted Ray Mona aka Bobdunga.
2:15 – She says that she’s doing motion capture classes. Eugh. Well…I’m conflicted. Somehow this is related to her idea of getting a job as the voice of a video game character. On the one hand, I’ve criticised her in the past for not having any training. So I can’t really criticise her now for getting training…of some description.
But there’s no chance of this ever working. She has these ridiculous ideas on how to get money. In a tiny industry that millions of people are trying to get into.
And she lives in Canada. Is there much of this kind of work in Canada?
Oh, and she has pictures on her wall. Let’s see if I can figure any of these out. Well, there’s Phillip Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air on the bottom left. There’s Beetlejuice or whoever the fuck the character is on the bottom right. Is that Miss Piggy in the top right? And Owen Hart to the left of her? And on the top left there’s…Jesus?
5:45 – Somebody suggests that they want to see Bobdunga edit stuff on camera. Umm…well, first of all, let me state that Bobdunga, rightly, says that that would be boring as fuck. But…no. I do not want to see a video of Bobdunga editing a video. If she was topless, I still wouldn’t watch that. Come on. Use your fucking head.
I have a video of some old woman with big tits writing a letter or something, topless.
13:45 – She’s talking about how Kirby Monroe (or somebody) is one of her favourite Canadian voice actors. Fuck off.
I’m still looking for this video while this Bobdunga shit is in the background. I’m searching for lost porno.
16:45 – Bobdunga says that she wants to find some Hannah Montana “lost” anime and she says, “Maybe I’d have to contact Miley Cyrus and I don’t even know if she knows who I am.”
Here’s a clue, St Dungalous: no. She doesn’t fucking know you. Join us in reality.
Oh, I found it.
33:30 – Bobdunga says that she was homeschooled. That might explain a few things.
But here’s a screenshot of this lost porno that I found:
(Actually, maybe best to just use your imagination. I’ll post the picture on Patreon some day.)
What could this video possibly have been? It’s like three minutes long of this woman in her 50s or 60s. She’s writing with that blue pen that you can see and she’s also looking at the book. So she’ll look at the book for a few seconds and then write something down. She’s doing some kind of academic project, I guess.
I suspect that this was taken on a webcam back in 56k modem days because the picture only updates every few seconds. So we’re talking late 1990s, early 2000s.
What situation could there have been where somebody would want to watch an old woman, topless, doing some kind of academic project? It’s not gratuitous at all. Most of the video is this. There’s a few frames where she leans back and you can see her tits but it’s not for the camera, it’s just because she’s shifting in her chair.
It had to be somebody jerking off to this. Maybe on Windows Messenger or something. But why? Why this? Why wouldn’t she put on a show?
And wait a minute. She’s not even typing so I don’t know if it this was for some chat program.
She must have known that her webcam was on. Because it’s right in front of her. She’s framed perfectly and she doesn’t appear to be using the computer at the time. She’s writing. She she must have aimed the webcam at herself and knew that it was on.
And if you’re doing academic research, are you going to do it topless? Probably not. Maybe it was a hot day. I don’t know.
The whole thing is a mystery to me. This woman is quite possibly dead now. Who was she? What was she writing? Is there more footage? Do we ever see the pussy?
This should be Bobdunga’s next project. Uncovering lost pornography.
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Chew Chew Mimic on NES – Preorder Now! – John Riggs
This is the latest production from Rigg’d Games, perhaps my favourite publisher. Oh, it’s also from Lowtek Games. Well, who are they?
Their website is down. Google cache suggests that it’s run by a guy called Alastair Low. He lives in Dundee, Scotland.
This game also won an award, apparently, but I can’t find anything about it.
0:15 – Well, he does show the plaque that he got. He could have printed this out himself, though.
0:30 – He suggests that it could be the best NES soundtrack you’ve ever heard. Uh huh. Let’s try to keep this within the realm of reality, John Riggs.
1:15 – This game was released for Evercade, Ant Stream (or something), and Play Date. Oh, sure. Those things. I love my Ant Stream gaming.
1:45 – He shows what you get. It’s a black cart. Then he goes on to say that he also has gold, silver, and copper carts. Who cares? Come on. Fucking colours.
4:45 – You can get an air freshner too. Earlier, he showed the manual and the box.
That’s the video. Conspiculously absent: gameplay footage. You know why? Because it looks like ass.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/johnblueriggs/chew-chew-mimic
There’s gameplay footage on this Kickstarter. It’s one of the worst-looking games I’ve ever seen in my life. The colours are bad. The sprites are bad. I’m not shitting on things for the sake of it. I wish that this looked better. But this looks awful.
Is there even an excuse for this any more? You could have made all of the artwork with AI.
It’s unfortunate how many people are losing their jobs because of AI. Pelvic Gamer said that she lost her job because of AI. She edited videos or something. But artists are all going to lose their jobs. Writers. Pornographers. There’s a whole list of jobs that are going to be lost.
Anyway, JOHN RIGGS met his $10,000 goal. There were actually 160 people who gave money to this.
There’s the video where he won this award. I somehow missed it. It’s from two months ago. I rarely go to his channel. But from a quick perusal, he thanks his wife during his acceptance speech. She does put up with an enormous amount from him: never being home, the philandering, ignoring his children and the dire consequences that resulted.
But he got an old AOL CD in a frame so it all evens out.
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NEWTrition Review: Pop rocks and booze – Newt Wallen
He’s at AMC Theatres. This must one of his new jobs. He moved to the corporate cinema world as opposed to the independent cinemas.
Oh, maybe he’s just there to see a movie. He says that he’s there with PVC Bondage Guy to see Abigail. I guess that’s the name.
When I was a kid, I’d think, “How can old people be so out of touch? Don’t they care about Super Mario Bros and Nirvana and Pulp Fiction?”
Then when I was in my mid to late 20s, I started tuning out of popular culture to be ironic and edgy.
But slowly, you reach a point where you genuinely don’t give a shit about any of this. What do I care about the latest fucking monster movie? It will come and go and people will immediately move on the next thing. There’s no value in any of this.
Still, I wish that I would have appreciated this trash at the time when maybe I still could have. Because now I don’t think that I can.
0:30 – Newt makes a joke that he’s a homosexual and PVC Bondage Guy laughs. He is drinking a woman’s beverage.
Anyway, he thinks that it’s too sweet. Great.
That’s the video. Where do we go from here? Well, I’m sure that he some stuff on Twitter.
Here’s a new one that Newt allegedly wrote and produced. Amityville Aliens. Sounds great, Ideas Man.
Newt uses PVC Bondage Guy’s breasts to advertise his Patreon. No thanks to all of that.
Oh, and he tweeted about OJ Simpson dying. Did I already talk about this? I intended to. Let me check the archives.
I don’t think so. But yeah, as soon as I heard about OJ Simpson dying, I rushed to Newt’s Twitter to see if he’d write about it. Sure enough, this death-obsessed asshole did. Well, he didn’t write anything about it. That would have required effort. But he re-tweeted something about it.
OJ Simpson stories…I’ve got nothing. I didn’t care and I still don’t care.
I had some creepy teacher ask me if I thought he was guilty or not. This was at the time of the trial. I said that I don’t know. Even if I had an opinion, which I didn’t, I still would have said that I don’t know. I didn’t want to engage in any conversation.
That same teacher rubbed my shoulders one time. Really weird. He was undoubtedly gay.
What time am I waking up tomorrow? That’s not too bad.
I have got to quit this job. I don’t want to fucking do this shit any more. I’ve contacted loads of clients basically telling them that I don’t want to do this any more and asking if they have any home-based work that I can do. I’m intentionally sabotaging my work hoping that they stop giving me work so that I can focus on finding a new job 100% of the time and the lack of work will motivate me to do it. I need some home-based work so that I can fucking move. I don’t want to stay in this country one more day. I expected to be out last month. I’m not even close to that. I have to move before it gets cold. The idea of spending another year here…I can’t do it.
I see that Kieran got a new job. Good for him. Some fag on Reddit posted a clip from one of his streams where he talks about this. He says that the money is good and he doesn’t want to do streaming any more because it sucks dick and he only did it for the money.
The homos there made out like this was some kind of revelation. Of course people are only streaming for money. Do you think they’re there because they want to talk to horny retards?
Erin is eagerly logging into Twitch. “I hope that ShiShi makes some creepy comments about my outfit. And Games & Movies? I can’t wait to get some ‘*hugs*’ from that little scamp. And of course there’s Jose. He’s going to ask how I am today. I’ve got a good response today for that one: ‘I’m good, thanks.’”
Maybe Newt should start streaming. I don’t think that he plays video games but he can just live stream his life.
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Shaun of The Dead is Still Funny 20 Years Later! – Tony from Hack The Movies
Oh, we’ve got a new “hot” chick. I’ve never seen her, anyway.
You know what? She’s not actually holding herself out as a hot chick. Her link is just to her videography business. So let’s move on.
What about Tom? Is he presenting himself as a hot guy? No. His link is also to some kind of video business.
So we’ve got two real Youtube professionals here. Three, if we include Tony. Good for them. They’re getting in on that Youtube gravy train. Everybody wants to be on Youtube now. And they want professionals filming them.
Let’s read the comments. Three minutes in and I’m already bored.
Nothing. Seven minutes in and I’m closing my eyes.
8:00 – They’re talking about British tv.
Well, when am I going to get a chance to talk about British television again?
I liked The Mighty Boosh. That was one of the first shows that I enjoyed when I moved to the UK. It’s…surreal zany shit. I haven’t seen it since it came out. I don’t remember much about it. There was a gorilla and a camp goth guy and just a guy with a moustache and they did wacky stuff. It must have been somewhat cerebral comedy or else I wouldn’t have liked it.
Oh, that guy from the IT Crowd was in this. Yeah, I liked the IT Crowd too. That came later.
I also enjoyed Bad Education. And Lead Balloon.
I liked The Office. And Extras. And Life’s Too Short. These Ricky Gervais shows.
Oh, and there was that travel show. An Idiot Abroad. Where did he even know Karl Pinkerton from? I used to listen to a podcast or something with them. I think that it was animated.
Oh, I’ll tell you a great show. Eurotrash. A lot of nudity. They had Lola Ferrari in a lot of episodes, maybe all of them. Nude. Or at least topless. This is what I expected from British television. Let’s see some of that hardcore nudity that European television is known for.
And you would see it. Not a lot but sometimes. Big Brother, for example, had nudity. Movies weren’t censored for nudity. They showed some Andy Warhol trilogy of Flesh, Trash, and Heat which has loands of nudity. I think that it’s all male, though. But Flesh is just some naked guy on a sofa for 90 minutes. They showed it uncensored in the middle of the day.
But by 2010, it all seemed to change. This was also around the time when The Sun stopped having topless women on page 3.
If they’re still showing nudity on British television, I don’t know about it. I only watch tv if I’m in a hotel and I haven’t seen any nudity. Not since about 2010, I’d say. And I last had a television in…2013 or something.
I remember as a kid going to my mother’s home country and there was a big fucking billboard of a woman with her tits out and I think a baby. It must have been an ad for breastfeeding or baby food or something. But I thought about that billboard for years after that.
But unfortuntely, the UK seems to have become much more puritanical just within the time that I’ve been here. And I don’t think that the UK was ever particularly progressive in terms of nudity and whatnot, relative to the rest of Europe. But it wasn’t as repressed as the US.
Well, I made it to 36 minutes. There was absolutely nothing worth talking about. But at least I was able to talk about some British television and the decline of nudity on the medium.
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*Variety Post*
I’ve seen a few things lately that I wanted to discuss.
First, this lunatic on Reddit:
So she made a lasagna for an impovershed woman as part of some charity. The impoverished woman, who’s pregnant, by the way, asked if she can also pick up some bagels for her from the shop. The woman who prepared the lasagna didn’t deliver the food, as promised, and then reported this impoverished pregnant woman to some manager.
The people in the comments talk about what a hero this psychotic woman is.
Lady, if you don’t want to get the bagels, don’t get the bagels. But deliver the fucking food.
I’m familiar with similar programs in the UK that deliver food to the elderly and impoverished. Doing a little shopping for them is part of it. Talking to them is part of it. It’s about treating vulnerable people with dignity.
But this dumb bitch just wanted the kudos. “Fuck this pregnant poor woman. She should be kissing my ass that I made this fucking lasagna for her.” Like it’s Oliver Twist.
This is what charity is about. It’s about scumbags wanting praise. Oh, this impoverished woman didn’t heap enough praise on you. What a terrible thing. You mean that impoverished people don’t have the social and language skills to navigate every social situation? What a shock.
If you can’t deal with the fact that impoverished people aren’t going to say “please” and “thank you” and give you a rimjob, don’t fucking deal with them. Do something else with your time.
And I read on other threads that it’s common to supply food besides the lasagna in this charity thing. Bread, side dishes, desserts, whatever. So this woman wasn’t asking for anything outrageous.
What fucking charity is having people deliver homebaked goods to vulnerable people anyway? These non-vetted volunteers could be putting rat poison in their lasagna. Or forget about intentional poisoning, maybe they’re bad cooks. Maybe they’re not cooking the food long enough and it causes the person to get food poisoning. Maybe somebody has a food allergy. Isn’t this a massive liability?
Looking at her post history, this bitch seems to live around Atlanta and has three children. So she’s some dumb redneck.
Ironically, she’s exposing herself as the person who doesn’t know how to deal with social situations.
What a sad situation that this is how people have to live in the US. You have to beg for fucking food from some horribly run charity where the people make the food IN THEIR OWN HOME. You just have to hope that the person isn’t loading your food with cyanide. And that they actually deliver the food, untainted, as promised. And then you have to say “please” and “thank you” and be on your best behaviour while this woman drops food on the ground outside your house like you’re a fucking animal. Can’t even hand it to you like a human being. “Contactless” delivery for vulnerable people who might have nobody to speak to.
There were some people in the comments who called this bitch out but you have to scroll all the way to the bottom because they got downvoted to shit. But they were 100% right. Fuck this entitled redneck and her god complex.
Moving on.
This is one of the most insane articles I’ve ever read. Women go around town dressed like literal whores and are then shocked when guys film them.
At first I just read the title. And I thought, “Well, that’s not right. You shouldn’t be filming people like some creep.”
Then I saw the pictures of these women. The pictures used in the actual article. They’re CLEARLY dressed like whores. I don’t mean that they’re wearing a low-cut top. These are prostitute outfits. The one woman is wearing some kind of bustier that completely exposes the centre of her torso all the way down. The whore next to her is wearing a strapless bra.
They’re going out in public like this and then they’re shocked when people take videos of them and post them online. It’s not the sort of thing you see every day, is it? You don’t typically see whores walking around.
These whores complain that people post the videos online and then ask if it’s them.
Well, it’s easy to find these women’s social media presence. They give their names in the article. Here’s one of them:
FULL of videos of her, dressed like a prostitute, in public, with other women who are dressed like prostitutes. But she finds something offensive when other people take a video of her doing this exact same thing.
It doesn’t make any fucking sense. She’s clearly dressing like this for attention. You don’t want to be filmed, don’t dress like a prostitute.
She’s also on Instagram. It’s private. She also sells her used clothes here:
https://www.depop.com/phoebecollin1
“Sexy” pictures of her in every outfit. The prices are surprisingly reasonable. Only £7 for one of her used bras. I’m not seeing any panties.
Let’s see if I can find her friend Butterface. Actually, I can’t even say that. Her body is nothing to look at either.
https://www.instagram.com/fitwithmaddiie
Maybe this is her? I don’t know. It’s just a bunch of pictures of her in the gym showing her ass off.
“Come on, guys. Stop taking videos of us. We’re just trying to walk down the street dressed like prostitutes in peace.”
https://www.depop.com/maddielaing1
Oh, she sells her used whore outfits as well. Only ten pounds for her bikini top and bottom.
You have to assume that they’re on OnlyFans.
Finally, let’s end on a high. Batteries. I bought two packs of Duracell batteries like a year ago. Maybe two years ago. AA. I set them on a little table, reasonable temperature year-round.
So I go get them because I needed batteries and they’re all fucking corroded and slightly bloated. They were in the original packaging. Never opened. It was just cardboard packaging but that’s how they were sold. Had to throw them all out. They wouldn’t work. Some of them didn’t even fit in the compartment because they were swollen.
So I go get batteries that I stole from work like 15 years ago. No way that these are going to work but I was desperate. Put them in, turns on, bright as day, no problem. As good as the day they were manufactured.
Varta is the brand. Made in Germany. You can get 40 of them for £15. I probably spent £10 for these four Duracell batteries that went bad within two years.
The Varta batteries were wrapped in plastic shrink wrap. Could that have been the difference?
Anyway, I was thinking for “preppers” or whatever, Varta is the brand you want. Fuck Duracell. Or maybe it was Energizer. But it was one of the two big battery providers. It was one of those batteries that you can check the charge on by pressing down on them. But I wouldn’t recommend that for these particular batteries because they were leaking acid and ready to explode.
These Varta batteries were just fucking cheap batteries from a company that nobody’s ever heard of. They lasted 15 years. And who knows how old they were when I stole them? I have loads of them. I never have to buy a battery again.
The more I think of it, it was closer to 20 years that I got these batteries.
Anyway, I found it fascinating.
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NJ HORROR CON DAY 1 – Newt Wallen
0:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she’s Ukrainian and Italian. Uh huh.
I never got into any of that shit. And I’m actually a citizen of a European country. My mother is an immigrant. But I never said, “Hey, look at me, I’m Mr Europe over here. Ooh la la. Look at how sophisticated I am.”
I was in America. I was born there. I sounded American. There’s no reason why anybody would think that I wasn’t American. You’d be a complete buffoon to believe that I wasn’t.
But when people would find out that my mother wasn’t an Amercain there was a hint that they thought that I wasn’t quite as American as they were. I had a Spanish professor straight up tell me that I’m a foreigner when she found this information out.
Are you out of your mind? Somebody who was born and raised in a country is that nationality. If I went to my mother’s home country, nobody would say, “Oh, welcome fellow countryman.” They’d say, “This guy doesn’t speak a word of the language. He doesn’t know anything about the country. Hello, Mr Foreign Man.”
It’s ridiculous.
In the UK, I’d always get questions about America. “What are you doing here, Mr American Man?” They wouldn’t say, “What are you doing here, Mr European Man?” Or, “What are you doing here, fellow British citizen.” It was always American.
But I’ve been here long enough that my accent has changed and people now assume that I’m Irish. So that’s great. I can field all of your questions about Ireland, a place that I spent four weeks of my life in.
So anyway, then Newt makes a comment about Italians, a reference to Tony from Hack the Movies, another fake Italian.
I know that I just went on and on about this but why not…what do these people even know about Italy or Ukraine or whatever? Who gives a shit where your grandparents or great grandparents are from? You’re living in rural Pennysylvania. Why not proudly represent that?
Nobody looks at PVC Bondage Guy and says, “Look at that crazy Ukrainian woman.” They say, “Look at that crazy fucking fat Pennsylvania woman. Stop eating so many of those giant pretzels that are popular in Pennsylvania.”
I’m telling you 100% that people in Ukraine or Italy or whatever don’t give the slightest of fucks about you. They’re insulted that you’re trying to associate yourself with their country. So fuck them.
I get that America is a shit country. You don’t want to be associated with it. But it’s the reality. And it’s not your fault that it’s a shit country. It’s the guys at the top aggressively fucking you over.
I had a government teacher in high school, who I believe was from the South, give a lecture about the greatness of American democracy. And he said, “If you don’t like the country, who’s fault is it? It’s yours. Because we have the right to vote.”
This is an educator? Does he honestly believe that these elections are remotely valid? Which one of these rich white men in suits represent my interests? Where’s the candidate adocating for the equitable redistribution of the wealth? All of the candidates are focused on redistribution of the wealth upwards. I don’t want that. What’s going on here?
Fucking scumbag. Even as a non-savy 10th grader, I thought, “This is a remarkably naive lesson.” And I remember it to this day as an example of the total buffoons teaching in American schools.
In any event, even though the US is a shit country, the average American on the street is a good person. Not pieces of shit like Newt or PVC Bondage Guy but the average American. And that’s something to be proud of. Hospitality. Open-mindedness. Giving people a chance. These are admirable American qualities. You don’t have to go to look to some foreign country to get a sense of identity. You have it. You’re an American. It means something.
3:00 – Newt is talking about going to Allentown, Pennsylvania, one of the most well-known working-class cities in the country. Why not be proud of that? That’s something real. Your Italian identity is fake.
3:45 – PVC Bondage Guy takes her filthy socks off and crosses her chubby legs. Hot. Right? No. Not hot.
Oh, and Newt is telling a story about a place called Jugtown. He finds this really funny. Get it? Breasts. Fucking cretin.
4:30 – They tell a story and I couldn’t understand ONE WORD. What the fuck was being said? Did I suddenly lose my mind? Did they stop speaking English? Did they slip into Ukrainian?
6:45 – Newt says that Fallon didn’t want to share the booth at this nerd convention with him so he just let her have it. What? He needs to find more caring prostitutes to pay to hang out with him.
And you’re the one paying. When you pay, you call the shots. Not the whore. That’s not how this works. The customer is always right. That’s another proud American tradition.
7:00 – Newt is listing the big time celebrities who had booths. There was some guy who played Jason, Dr Chud, some woman who was in something called Sleepaway Camp. All of the big stars.
And Newt was also a guest at this convention. “Come see Newt Wallen: World Famous Plagiarist.”
8:15 – Newt met some people at this nerd convention who he went to school with. Oh, great. Maybe we’ll get some stories about all of the hot buttsex that he had with them.
9:00 – Shoutout to, “The Redhead”. What about “horse head” as your new euphamism?
Then Newt says that PVC Bondage Guy made some “new friends” at the nerd convention. This will undoubtedly involve sexual degeneracy.
Oh, there was somebody who makes fangs. She implies that she had sex with him. Then Newt mentions “the wrestler guy”. Jason Knight. You guys all know Jason Knight, right? PVC Bondage Guy, who only started watching wrestling about nine months ago, refers to him as an “ECW original.” Oh. Yeah. That guy.
She says that wants to be on the ring crew for this guy’s indy promotion. PVC Bondage Guy is really into the professional wrestling.
I don’t know how seriously she’s taking the training. But the body building isn’t there. Not even close.
She should have a strict regime of what she eats, how much she works out, whatever. Not eating a deep fried chicken the size of your head and then finishing it off with a gallon of Coke and an entire pizza.
When I worked out, I was around PVC Bondage Guy’s age, and it was hours a day, every day. Just sitting in my room lifting dumbbells. Boring as fuck, of course. But this is the mentality that you need to have to see any results. And I wasn’t even trying to be a wrestler. I was trying to get a job with the police but that’s a whole other story.
As for eating right, you need the same level of discipline. Nobody wants to eat chicken breast every day but are you serious about being a wrestler or aren’t you?
10:30 – Newt was in TGIFridays with this big time wrestler and took a selfie with him. He sent the picture to 8Bit Eric, who is one of the guys who Newt sent a picture of his penis to (along with Joe from Game Sack). 8Bit Eric got sexually excited to see Newt with this big muscly wrestler.
Did PVC Bondage Guy have sex with the wrestler? I mean…you have to assume so. It seems to be her go-to response whenever she meets somebody.
11:00 – Newt says, “Now I’m the cool one. I’m not in a Game Sack video or the Game Chasers.”
Newt wants to be in a video with his homosexual long-distance boyfriend Joe from Game Sack. But Joe from Game Sack doesn’t even have guests on the show. Well, maybe he’ll make an exception for his boyfriend Newt.
12:45 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she did her makeup in only ten minutes. You don’t say. That magnificent makeup job only took ten minutes?
14:15 – Newt is talking about his “ex” Christie, who was in the Miss New Jersey pageant. Oh, tell us more, Newt. Are you going to talk about how you fucked her in the ass some more?
15:30 – PVC Bondage Guy was wearing shorts, a tube top, and fishnet stockings. Fucking look at her. I mean…I know she reads the blog. I don’t want to be insulting. I really don’t. But PVC Bondage Guy, Metz, whatever you want to call yourself, you are overweight. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that. But there’s a way for fat chicks to dress sexy. Taking shit off isn’t it. Look at what the fat goths are doing. Do that. You fucking had the look down back when you were wearing your PVC bondage outfits. The clothes should be coming on, not off.
19:45 – One of the people Newt was with at Applebees asked if he’s “The plagiarising guy”. Yeah. That’s him alright. Big plagiariser over here.
God. If only that was Newt’s biggest problem. Newt should embrace the plagiarism. It distracts from the litany of other disgusting traits that he has.
But this woan apparently said that the whole thing was “BS”. Yeah. No. You’re a plagiariser, Newt. Just admit it. It’s not the end of the world. The problem arises because you don’t fucking admit what you did. You plagiarised 20 fucking scripts from Monster Madness. Wholesale. Not even subtle. It’s nobody’s fault but your own. Just admit it and move on.
This woman apparently also dislikes Tony from Hack the Movies and possibly James Rolfe. Yeah. You’re a great person, Newt. Everybody loves you and everybody hates the same people who you hate. The plagiarism is all somebody else’s fault.
They’re still talking about Applebees. I wonder what PVC Bondage Guy ordered from Applebees. The neighborhood nachos, southwest chicken bowl, an entire rack of double glazed baby back ribs, and for dessert a bowl of cinnabons? And to drink, an industrial-sized bucket of sangria?
23:30 – Newt says that he fell asleep while driving and almost died. Huh. What an asshole.
And that’s how the video ends. With Newt almost killing multiple people.
A couple of pieces of shit right here.