California’s BIGGEST Video Game Expo – SoCal Gaming Expo 2024 – John Riggs

John Riggs puts a lady in the thumbnail. No. Put your own sexy visage in the thumbnail. Sex sells.

John Riggs is at So Cal Gaming Expo. I think that Super Retro Gal aka Super Awkward Gal used to be part-owner of this nerd convention. She was also briefly working at Screenwave, now that I think about it. That was a crazy week. She posted a video licking Screenwave’s collective ass one day and then a week later, she quit and removed the video. What the fuck happened?

Anyway, I’ve scanned this John Riggs video. No food. What the fuck? I’ll watch it anyway but John Riggs, I know you read this, please reconsider your moratorium on footage of you eating. It’s genuinely the only good part of the video. I’m not saying this to be a jerk, legitimately the only part that’s even remotely interesting is seeing where you eat and what you eat. I don’t care about this lightly-used copy of Mario Paint that you’re showing off. Show us the fucking food. I don’t think that I’m alone in this.

0:30 – Game Snatch? What? This has to be intentional. You’re not getting any snatch with this shit, though.

5:30 – The woman in the thumbnail is literally showing Mario Paint. I didn’t even realise that when I made my Mario Paint reference earlier. That’s just my go-to reference for boring video game content.

So what she does it buy broken Mario Paint mice and then airbrushes the fucking case or whatever. For the nerd who has everything. Now you can have a broken Mario Paint mouse with an airbrushed case.

11:15 – He’s looking at a VHS copy of WMAC Masters, some children’s television show from the 1990s, and going into nerdy detail about an episode that he didn’t like. How old was he was this was on? He’s a year older than me. He was 18 years old and watching this.

I watched it too. Not enough to remember any episodes but I watched it. But I knew full well that I was too old to be watching this shit. I think it was shown on Saturday mornings, but this was after Saturday morning cartoons were no longer a thing. They had like “teen” shows later in the morning, into the afternoon. Saved by the Bell and California Dreams and whatnot.

Actually, maybe WMAC Masters was on Fox. Oh, it was syndicated. Maybe Fox was my local syndicate.

I’m thinking that Bruce Lee’s daughter was somehow involved in this. Oh yeah. Shannon Lee. She was the presenter.

Do you suppose John Riggs was spanking it to Saved by the Bell back in the day? Thinking about that Screech. I liked Lisa. I know that Kelly and maybe Jesse (especially with her later Showgirls fame) were suposed to be the hot chicks but they didn’t do anything for me. Even when Kelly was later in Beverly Hills 90210 and they made her hyper sexual in the ads, she still didn’t toss my salad.

I don’t know. I think back of the porn stars I liked, you’re talking Minka, Heather Lee, Sierra, maybe throw Maserati in there. All non-white. Although, I suppose that I also like Blake Mitchell (the woman, not the gay porn star) and Bunny Bleu. Girlfriends have overwhelmingly been non-white. I don’t know.

12:45 – John Riggs is extolling the virtues of bootleg Mario statues.

16:15 – He gets excited by some hentai on VHS. I never got that either. Keep your basic white bitches and keep your hentai.

20:15 – John Riggs is looking at some pornographic horror VHS movies. Dude. Fucking jerk off before you make the video. Go to the bathroom.

So that’s the video. What Gets John Riggs Hard?

I remember in the big bust porn magazines back in the day, there was a section called What Got Grandpa Hard or Tits of Yore. And there’d be some nude, top-heavy woman from the 1950s. Black and white. And it was like from a totally other time.

This was in the 1990s so these women were from 40 years in the past. It’s nearly the same time span between now and those magazine. So if you were to make such a feature today, you’d have fucking Lisa Lipps and whatnot in there. It’s crazy to think about.

Imagine being 50 and still singing this. Even in their prime, this band was shit.

2 thoughts on “California’s BIGGEST Video Game Expo – SoCal Gaming Expo 2024 – John Riggs

  1. I remember a few of those flashbacks in magazines but usually the girl was from the 70s. I never saw any from the 50s. I can only imagine Marilyn Monroe and Betty Page. Fat chicks love Betty Page because she wore corsets and that’s how fat girls prop up their saggy tits. But I just looked her up. Did buses. B cup maybe C. Disgusting bush but not fat. Not close. I don’t know what it is either but I find a lot of white women repulsive too. I think it’s more attitude than looks exactly. And Asian, Hispanic or black Pam would make me vomit just as much. But they just don’t have that attitude. Also Tia Ling is 50 this year! Holy shit! She’s still taking it up the ass like a queen too! Unfortunately a lot of the scenes are with black guys so I’ll never watch them.

    1. It’s definitely from the 1950s. I looked it up. I was going to scan the page but it’s some weird shit. One of the women looks like Harpo Marx but with giant tits. In the particular issue of Juggs that I was looking at, these were allegedly amateurs and taken by some barber in exchange for hairstyling services.

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