What Makes A Fighting Game, A Fighting Game? – Zap Cristal

We’ve got Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal and Mr Wright Way II asking the questions that nobody else gives a shit about.

What makes a fighting game a fighting game? Two people fighting. Or maybe you want to expand it to include more than two people fighting ala Smash Bros. Done. Problem solved.

They’re joined by some black guy. Do they know anyone who isn’t black? But this guy doesn’t have a webcam, apparently. So he’s just a static image.

1:00 – “Season 2, so far, has been a blast.”

You’re the only one gives a shit about what “season” any of this.

5:00 – They’re comparing fighting games to chess and…ugh. I’m already bored.

What about the best black characters from fighting games? That might make for an interesting discussion, although I have no doubt that they would fuck it up. You’ve got Balrog from Street Fighter II, of course. And…Tanya from Mortal Kombat IV. Is that her name? Yeah. Who else? I’m not really a fighting game fanatic.

Oh, the guy with the cybernetic arms from Mortal Kombat. Umm…oh, and there was that basketball character in one of the King of Fighters games. What was that guy’s name? Lucky Glauber. That doesn’t ring a bell at all. And Heavy D was also on that team. He was a boxer. I remember the name Heavy D, but not so much the character whereas I remember the character Lucky Glauber but not the name. Interesting.

Fuck. I give up. I’ll just DuckDuckGo this.


Oh yeah. Jeffry McWild from Virtua Fighter. That’s a good one.

Dee Jay from Street Fighter II is also listed but I don’t even really remember him. I don’t think I played the version of Street Fighter II that had him in it much.

Maya from Kiler Instinct. That’s a good one.

Tiger Jackson from Tekken 3. I must not have played that game because I would have remembered this character.

God. This list isn’t even remotely exhaustive. I want to see obscure character from obscure games. The more racially offensive, the better.


There’s a more comprehensive list but it’s of every character in a fighting game so you just have to click around.

Bobby from Aggressors of Dark Combat also had a basketball. I think that I remember that. I played all of the Neo Geo games even though I hated fighting games.

There was a Castlevania fighting game? Castlevania Judgement. 2008. Interesting.

There was also a game called Urban Reign with characters like Dwayne Davis. Similar to Def Jam, which also probably has a lot of black characters.

What? This isn’t a fighting game. It’s a beat em up.

Whoever made this site has an enormous amount of time on their hands. They even graded each character using some weird Japanese word/number system. Bunch of gifs and pictures of each character too. But you should be able to search by race and nationality. That would really bring things to the next level of autism.

What about Strip Fighter?

Oh, there’s a Strip Fighter 5. There’s no way that it has any conncection to the original Turbo Grafx game. I think that that was some kind of bootleg.

And why five? Is there a Strip Fighter 3 and 4? They started at 2 because it was a parody of Street Fighter II.

Some real weirdo shit in there.

Oh, and there was a Strip Fighter 4 but no 3, apparently.


Where was I going with this? Oh, fucking Zap Cristal. You’ve got five minutes. Say something interesting.

I’m at 12 minutes. I don’t even know what they’re talking about. I’m half asleep. This music doesn’t help.

They’re talking about chess again. I’m turning this off.

3 thoughts on “What Makes A Fighting Game, A Fighting Game? – Zap Cristal

  1. These kinds of arguments have always bothered me. Something about the absolute pointlessness of the question. Why does it fucking matter? Like the “Rogue-” debate. I can’t remember what I was watching the other day, some older sitcom. There was a Bobby Fischer joke that reminded me of his schizo hilarity. Funny coincidence.

  2. I’ve never heard anything Bobby Fischer say that was incorrect. He was railroaded for playing a game of chess in Yugoslavia. Who cares? Why is that a crime? Then the US government stole all of his stuff.

    He’s a genius right up until he says stuff that’s against the US and against the Jews and then suddenly he’s a crazy person. No, he was dead on. He didn’t suddenly stop being a genius. He looked at the state of the world and reached the logical conclusion.

    1. Fair enough. Never wanted to bismirch the man. You are pretty much spot on. I had to explain to my wife how he got absolutely shat on. She had no idea who he was, that’s how hard he got shafted. She’s 32 years old and never heard of the guy who shat on the soviets so hard in a fucking board game, it undermined the whole cold war.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *