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  • Heating Systems Throughout the World

    (I’m “out of town” for a few days so I’ve prepared a couple of random articles that will be posted periodically)

    I had something similar to the video when I lived in New England. It was a stove but there was a separate knob to control the heater, which was on the side of the stove. There was just a big vent along the side and you turn the knob to control how hot it would get. It would get extremely hot even on a low setting. You had to turn it off periodically rather than rely on it to heat at a steady temperature. There was no thermostat or timer or anything.

    That was the only heater in the apartment. The kitchen was in the middle of the apartment so the heat would spread out somewhat but I don’t know. The kitchen would get hot and the other rooms would be less hot. It didn’t seem safe but these things seemed to pretty normal at the time and in New England.

    In my childhood home, there were vents in the floor. Central heating. You adjusted a thermostat to your desired temperature and the house would heat properly. No problems.

    I don’t remember ever being cold in either property. That place in New England was downright tropical. I don’t know how much gas was costing me but it couldn’t have been much because I never stressed about it.

    Then I moved to the UK. I’ve lived in probably 20 places. They all have radiators. When it gets hot, you turn the dial on the radiator and it starts to heat up. Really old fashioned.

    There were some places that had some kind of central heating but I never figured out how they worked. They seemed to be timers. There was a clock mechanism on the thing and you would flick switches on this dial to determine when you wanted to the heating to be on or off. So there would be a switch for 12:00, for example, and depending on which way you flicked the switch, the heating would either be on or off at 12:00. Something like this.

    The place I’m at now has “central heating” and a thermostat but…it’s shit. It’s just a little box and you set the temperature that you want the house (or at least that thermostat) to be. It’s a digital thing, you just press the buttons until you reach the desired temperature. Somehow, this thing remotely turns the radiators off or on depending on whether or not the desired temperature is reached.

    I always had that thing set to 18 and it was cold as fuck. 18 Celsius is 64.4 degrees Farenheit. So yeah, that’s cold. But the recommended setting is 18-21 degrees. I figured I can take it so I went with 18.

    My fingers would swell up every winter. So I thought, “That’s weird. Must just be from getting older.”

    No. It’s from the cold. I went to the doctor about this, not knowing what it is, and they didn’t a give a fuck. I went like three times. They didn’t know what it was and didn’t seem interested in finding out. I can’t fucking close my fingers because they’ve swollen so much and these doctors didn’t give a fuck.

    I had to do all of the research. Chillblains. It’s from extended exposure to the cold. They gave me some steroid cream, which does work, but you know what else would have worked? Turning the fucking heat up. If they told me what this was, this could have all been avoided.

    So this year, I’m doing it right. I’m thinking 19 degrees. Maybe I’ll be crazy and turn it up to 20. But in the US, 70 degrees is normal, which is 21 degrees Celsius.

    I’ve been cold every winter for the past ten years or so. And it doesn’t even get that cold in the UK. That’s another reason why I left it at 18. I figured it doesn’t really get cold.

    But no, it’s because I had the heating on so low. And cost is a concern. I have the money but it seems to be expensive. I never worried about utility bills in the US but it’s a concern in the UK. Also, a lot of the places I’ve lived in, including my current place, are just electric. No gas. I’m pretty sure that gas is cheaper.

    The whole energy system in the UK is unsatisfactory from the shitty radiator-based heating to the incompetent energy companies.

    You even get people in train stations and shit trying to get you to change your energy provider. How crazy is that? You’re trying to get a train and some shady guy says, “Psst, pal. You want to change your energy provider? I’ve got some sweet deals.”

    What the fuck are you talking about? If I wanted to change my energy provider, I’d go to the internet like a normal person. I wouldn’t go to some lunatic holding a clipboard in a train station.

    And they’re complete assholes. If you politely say no, they’re assholes. If you ignore them, they’re assholes. The only thing I’ve found that works is telling them to fuck off. You have to out-asshole them. It’s the only language they understand.

    I’ve never seen any of this in the US. Maybe it exists, I don’t know. Maybe it’s a more recent development. Maybe I just wasn’t in big enough cities. But I get the feeling that these people would be punched out and/or shot within five minutes if they tried this shit there.

  • Let’s Game For Change!-Full University Speech – Zap Cristal

    This is gold. Look at the state of the American higher education system. ZAP CRISTAL is giving a lecture.

    0:00 – The “professor” is like 400 pounds. A 300 pounds man(?) in a flannel shirt and mask walks past. It might be a woman but I couldn’t notice any tits. The confusion comes in because they have long hair styled like a woman. A 300 pound woman drinking a sugary beverage walks past.

    While this is all going on, this 400 pound “professor” is hyping Zap’s Youtube channel and her GOD AWFUL podcast with Mr Wright Way II. And there’s somebody signing this. Like for deaf people. Sign language. That woman is getting paid quite a bit of money. For this. For weird, creepy, mentally ill ZAP CRISTAL to give a speech. ON WHAT? How to avoid finding actual employment? How to marry black men?

    0:45 – Then she starts with “Thank you, appreciate it. Thank you, appreciate it” like she’s Elvis Presley. But Elvis had a job. He was a singer. He was an actor. He was making money.

    Then she starts in proper. “So we as human beings create memories through different media forms and different forms of entertainment.”

    IT MEANS NOTHING! This is some total bullshit that she came up to try to sound important and intellectual for this community college class. Does she give the name of the college? Yeah. Tarant County College. Let me look this up. Shame these people.

    Open admission, meaning that they take anyone. They don’t require SATs or ACTs. “This means any person can be admitted, regardless of their educational background.”

    This is straight from their own website. It’s a community college according to Wikipedia.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarrant_County_College

    1:15 – “To give you more context of who I am, at the present time I have a channel called Zap Cristal.”

    She stressed “at the present time” like this is some deep comment. Like in the future, she’s going to be something greater than she is. No. You’re going to be less. Less than whatever the fuck you already are.

    2:00 – “Ms Pac-Man made a big impact on my life because Ms Pac-Man was the very first female character in a video game.”

    This is fucking…I’m not getting too much further into this one. It’s a joke. I can comment on every fucking sentence. This is an abomination. The whole fucking video is cringe. And did I mention the music? Mr Wright Way II insisted that his music be played over this video, just like he does with the podcast. It fucking kills the videos.

    She has long hair, inexplicably. It’s a wig.

    2:30 – “My dad was all about breaking traditions. Just revolutionising everything.”

    By letting her play video games. Yeah. This guy is right up there with Che Guevara and Vladimir Lenin. What a hero to the working class Zap Cristal’s father was. He let her play Ms Pac-Man. Watch out, fat cat capitalists.

    3:15 – There’s a guy in a yellow shirt in the front row. I’ve skimmed through the video and at some point, he leaves. He must have got fed up with this horseshit.

    3:30 – She says she “impacted” by some hurricane in Puerto Rico so God told her to go play video games. I am not making this up. She talks about a spiritual awakening where GOD HIMSELF told her to go play video games during the aftermath of that hurricane.

    Why is everybody not walking out at this point? This is a complete fucking nutjob.

    She brought a Wii U home and wanted to introduce her five year old son to “the traditions that I had.” Video games as a tradition. Oh my fucking god. Get the fuck out of here. This is humiliating. She’s a fucking moron.

    4:30 – She says that she came to Texas as a “foreigner.” She’s from Puerto Rico.

    I was reading an article recently about the police in mainland USA arresting somebody from Puerto Rico because he thought that Puerto Ricans didn’t have the right to be here. They do. They’re free to move here. Don’t need visas or anything. And an American is free to move to Puerto Rico. Puerto Ricans are American citizens and have been since 1917.

    So how was she a foreigner? She’s just perpetuating dangerous misinformation about her own fucking birthplace.

    4:45 – She’s talking about how she started her Youtube channel in like 2018 and at that time, people were discriminating against “female” “gamers”. 2018. Let’s just move on. I don’t want to get into this bullshit.

    5:15 – “What video game have you played that has helped you through hardships, that has navigated you through dark times?”

    NONE, YOU FUCKING RETARD. I don’t use video games for therapy because I’m a normal-functioning human being.

    But this is the theisis of her lecture. She’s going to talk about her “healing journey through video games.” She made a video about this before. It’s fucking pathetic.

    “Gee, I was going to jump off of a tall building but then I played Tetris.”

    I’m done with this shit. I’ve already heard the rest of this. She’s just talking about games that saved her life. She’s done a video on this. It was as pointless and absurd then as it is now. But now she’s giving this speech to the disadvantaged youth of rural Texas. This is shameful. She should be ashamed of herself. The administrators should be ashamed of themselves. The “professor” should be ashamed of himself. Anyone who had any involvement in this should be ashamed of themselves.

    Let me just check when that guy left the room.

    32:15 – She’s giving some pretentious talk about her “creative” process in making these Youtube videos. These Youtube videos that NOBODY WATCHES. So that guy in the yellow shirt whispers something to the guy next to him and then leaves. He probably said, “Fuck this. I’m going to go smoke a bowl. See you at the hackysack tournament at the quad later.”

    It reminds me of my own college days. Not the activities but the leaving lessons after attendance was taken.

    37:30 – She ends the lecture by talking about what a musical prodigy her 14 year old son is. He must be absolutely humiliated by all of this.

    38:15 – Then everyone just starts leaving. She’s in mid-sentence and they just get up and leave. She says, “Anyone else have questions?” but fuck it. They’re done. They’ve sat through this bullshit for 38 minutes and they’re done with it. Fuck you. We have classes to get to. Real classes. Not listenening to this pointless horseshit about your son and how some indie game saved you from killing yourself.

    She ends by thanking “Dr” Johansen Quijano, who was the 400 pound “professor” we saw at the beginning. Let me see what this guy’s doctorate is in. I’m thinking he’s like a radio dj “love doctor”. He has a PhD in sexing you up.

    https://www.ratemyprofessors.com/professor/1492891

    “Super easy professor. I took this class online and he was an extremely easy grader as long as you follow the rubric and do the discussions.”

    I can’t believe that RateMyProfessors still exists. But most of the comments are like the above. They say that he’s an easy grader and you don’t even have to show up for class to pass.

    https://www.uta.edu/academics/faculty/profile?username=quijano

    Well, he does seem to have qualifications. Three degrees in Puerto Rico and a doctorate in English from The University of Texas.

    Why didn’t this guy stand up when she was talking about being a “foreigner” in the US? Probably because he physically couldn’t stand up. I’m sure that he was outraged but just couldn’t stand up under his own power.

  • WCW/nWo Revenge (N64) – Neighbor Nerds – Cinemassacre

    0:00 – But first a word from our sponsor. Fuck off.

    1:15 – So finally we get to this delicious content.

    After a bizarre comment about the N64 being a “common system”, James says “Do you remember all of those wrestling games that came out?”

    Sure, James. I remember. Do you? I don’t think so.

    And I only remember them through emulation, years later. But I can at least be honest about it.

    I played all of them, though. I was huge into it for a few years. Virtual Pro Wrestling and the Virtual Pro Wrestling 2. I know that the American games like No Mercy are much more popular (at least in the West) but I’m a connoisseur of wrestling games and the Japanese games are superior.

    Of course, the best wrestling games are the Fire Pro games. The King of Colosseum games are also excellent. Both series by Spike or Human or whatever they were called at the time.

    I can go on and on. But this is about James Rolfe’s great passion for wrestling video games, not mine.

    1:30 – “Until I made the Nerd video, I didn’t really play a lot of these wrestling games.”

    Eugh. Great.

    2:30 –

    John: That’s red face Sting.

    James: Reminds me of the Crow.

    He’s a big wrestling fan, guys. He thinks that this is an original sentiment. Doesn’t realise that Sting’s nickname (of sorts) during this era was “Crow Sting”.

    John is using wrestling terms like “heel” and James clearly has NO IDEA what he’s talking about. He just says “hmm” a lot.

    2:45 – John is talking about 1990s wrestling and James is like Homer in that Simpsons episode where he says, “You have my undivided attention” and then a thought balloon appears and he’s thinking of some olde tyme cartoon with a dancing goat or something.

    3:45 – James chose Hulk Hogan. What a deep cut this was. John then chose Sting. Then Jimmy says “Sting versus Sting…the singer.”

    That’s another Sting observation that was never made before. Fucking autistic retard and his lame ass wordplay.

    4:00 – John is explaining the controls and James has NO IDEA how to do anything. This is not a game that you just pick up and play if you’ve never played a wrestling game before. As James hasn’t.

    5:30 – “You know taking out the trash? I’m getting taken out by the trash.”

    Autistic wordplay.

    7:00 – James spends about two seconds looking for a character and says “Let’s go with him.” It was just the first character in the list. Kevin Nash. He doesn’t even know who it is.

    Even if you don’t give a shit about wrestling, as James doesn’t, or video games, as James doesn’t, you’re making a fucking video. Scroll through the characters. PRETEND that you give a shit about any of this.

    7:45 – John starts talking about how he got into UFC as a kid but still thinks that wrestling has a place in society and James has NO IDEA what he’s talking about and just “mmhmm”s his way through it.

    This is fucking awful.

    John is completely kicking the shit out of Jimmy, by the way. This is edited but James hasn’t landed ANYTHING so far. It’s kind of funny. You’d think John would let up, it’s just a friendly game for a Youtube video, but no. He’s walloping this retard.

    9:00-

    John: You remember ECW? You remember that stuff?

    James: Ummm….

    No, Jimmy. The answer is “no”.

    Unbelievable. What the fuck was he doing? Playing with his shit and peeing in his pants.

    I never watched it. I don’t even know where or if it was broadcast. But I was aware of it. There was some late night infomercial shit that I sometimes watched. It was ECW but I don’t recall any matches. Maybe there were. I just remember that they kept showing an Asian woman with big tits wearing a towel. That was enough for me. This is entertainment.

    9:45 – “I’m just hitting buttons. I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

    No shit, Jimmy. Why bother putting effort into this? It’s only your job.

    Neither of them know how to max out their spirit meter. You have to taunt. It’s annoying to watch.

    13:00 – James boasts that he’s trying to lose the game. He says that he’s not even pressing any buttons.

    James…play the fucking game or go get a real job. It’s fucking ridiculous.

    I think that the problem is that they’re not in the ring, by the way. I’m not sure what settings they put. I don’t think that it’s a falls count anywhere match.

    13:15 – Then John finally figures it out and goes into the ring.

    13:30 – “It’s been so long since I’ve played. It’s been ten whole minutes ago.”

    James was doing NOTHING for ten minutes. And he’s boasting about this. And this made the cut for the video.

    14:15 – Retard Jimmy chose Brian Adams just because of the name. “That would be a good tag team match: Brian Adams and Brian Adams versus Sting and Sting.”

    Fuck off.

    16:15 – John says, “It’s not as good as I remember it.”

    Well, were you playing it with a retard who doesn’t want to be there when you were a kid?

    Terrible, terrible video. James is totally checked out. As he has been in everything for the past however many years. What the fuck happened? It’s like he’s been lobotomised.

    I think that he’s always been like this but Mike was just better at covering this up.

  • More Craziness from Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen

    This has to be a joke at this point. Because just look at these comments:

    Horntard: 0:05 the lovely crystal Quinn

    Newt: yea she was my muse.

    Horntard: and I still talk to her to this very day

    Newt: k. She hates me haha but we talked everyday for 15 years

    Horntard: wow btw you’re in my memoirs

    He calls her his “muse” in spite of the fact that everybody finds that creepy as fuck and I’ve made a joke of it for years now.

    But yeah, another terrible, terrible, awful video of Horseface McGee.

    Horseface has made it known that she thinks that all of these stupid little projects that she did with Newt were a waste of time. And clearly she’s right. How many of these creepy projects turned into anything?

    Let’s just look at this “muse” first of all. She’s a terrible actress, she has the face of a horse, and she’s totally unlikeable. You’d have to be a real creative visionary to overcome all of this.

    We don’t have a creative visionary. We have Newt “All of My Ideas are Awful” Wallen. Shark Vampire. Big Titty TV Head Woman. Amityville Cheerleaders.

    These are the world’s worst fucking ideas. If he was doing this “ironically”, I would get it. It wouldn’t be funny but least I’d understand what he’s doing.

    He genuinely thinks that his HORRENDOUS ideas are good and that people want to see this. We’re just dying to see Sucks 2 Suck and his Florida Man rip off and whatever other prostitute-laden feature films he has in mind.

    I’ve never seen somebody so passionate about ideas that are so obviously and aggressively awful. The man has no talent whatsoever for any of this. None. It’s not a matter of, “If he would just tweak this one thing it might sort of be okay.” No. Everything he produces is 100% pure, unadulterated shit. It has no redeeming value whatsoever.

    Horseface must have known all of this. How can you not? All of these prostitutes who he surrounds himself with are just humouring him because he’s paying them. They all know that everything he says and does are absolute fucking garbage.

    Horseface spent YEARS taking advantage of this fucking lunatic. So in a sense, she deserves what she’s getting now. You took advantage of a mentally ill guy, who you knew had absolutely no talent, for many years (during which time you had a boyfriend, by the way), so it’s time to pay the piper. Newt, please resume your crazy stalking. She shouldn’t have led you on.

    You know, I’m just thinking. They used to be on Hack the Movies, old Horseface and Newt. And Newt was always insufferable when she was on there because he would come on to her constantly. Let me find an example.

    Newt and Crystal are doing some Batman video. Newt is dressed as Batman. At the 14 minute mark, Newt, who has been flirting with her the whole time, says, “You look amazing as Poison Ivy, by the way.” Horseface says, “Aw, thank you.”

    Reminder: Horseface was in a long-term relationship with her marine corps boyfriend at this time. They were living together. They were contemplating marriage. They had been together for nearly a decade.

    And Horseface just sits there in her “sexy” costume and let’s the compliments roll in. She doesn’t say, for example, “Newt, you know that I have a long-term boyfriend. These comments are inappropriate.” Instead, she encourages it.

    You know what Galacians says, Horseface. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” You thought that you could toy with The Idea Man’s affections? You thought that you could string him along for 15 years or whatever it’s been? You thought that you could bleed him dry with these fucking shit projects that you knew full well were shit?

    We see what happens. Nutjob bullshit.

  • Ebenezer and the Invisible World – A Christmas Metroidvania – Cannot be Tamed

    0:00 – “I really never thought I’d be reviewing a Metroidvania that’s based on a Christmas Carol but that’s what we’re doing today.”

    This is boring as fuck. I’ll have to dust off my Christmas Carol story.

    “What? That fucking story about you in a school play? Who gives a shit? You already wrote about this.”

    Well, I’ve only got so many childhood stories. I can’t come up with new ones.

    So it was the 7th grade. Christmas Carol. We had some fairly young English teacher. Was it English that she taught? I guess it was. She was a nice woman.

    We had to choose which parts we wanted to try out for. I went with some role that had three lines or so. Nothing substantial but it had some lines.

    So we’re trying out for the play. Just in class. We’re reading lines. And the line was, “Alright, I’m leaving.”

    Every single person read it like, “Alright. I’m leaving.” Maybe this doesn’t show up well in print form but it was totally unnatural. Whereas I read it like, “Alright, I’m leaving.” I read it as though I was annoyed. You know…as the character would be. But these other people read it like they were doing fucking bad acting. Reading lines.

    I was living that shit. Method acting. I took it to a whole new level. And when I read the line, people were impressed. Genuinely. They laughed. They cheered. I felt like James Rolfe in his autobiography where everything he did was all the rage and everyone loved it.

    So I didn’t get the part. I got some other part. A part with no lines. People were pissed off. One guy said, “(Gamer Girls) should get a line.” And the teacher agreed. She said that she’d give me a line.

    I don’t know what role I ended up getting, if the character even exists in the play or was just made up by this teacher. But I was in a bar, I guess, or I suppose it would be a pub, in London (because I guess it takes place in London, something I didn’t recognise at the time) and I said, “A toast. A toast to Mr Fezziwig. The best employer a man can have. And to Mrs Fezziwig too!” and the rest of the characters raised their glasses in toast.

    Who the fuck is Mr Fezziwig?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Fezziwig

    Scrooge’s former employer.

    Anyway, the line didn’t give me much to work with. I said it. There were no mistakes. But there wasn’t much passion. And I felt that the “And to Mrs Fizzigwig” too bit was tacked on, right on, feminist bullshit. Genuinely, I didn’t like that part of the line because I thought it was out of character and just brought in for the sake of sexual equality. So I wasn’t comfortable with it.

    Not that I’m uncomfortable with sexual equality but this is a scene about early Industrial Revolution Britain. Would some chimney sweep or whatever the fuck I was really give a shit about his bosses’ wife? “Oh, we have to make sure to include his wife in this toast.”

    And it’s totally unexplained as to why this guy is toasting Mr Fezziwig’s wife. Is there something going on between the two characters? If I was Mr Fezziwig, I’d be concerned. “Why is this guy toasting my wife? Why does he even know my wife? This is my employee. It’s not like I’m bringing my wife to the factory.”

    So I read the line and it was what it was. Had I got that role that had me saying, “Alright, I’m leaving” that would have been memorable. I would have stolen the whole fucking show if I had that part.

    We did the play for the school and then we did the play for our parents. My parents didn’t give a shit. No words of encouragement afterwards. Even if I got that juicy “Alright, I’m leaving” part, everybody in the auditorium would been wowed and they still wouldn’t give a shit.

    That guy who stood up for me in class got a juicy role in the play. I don’t remember what it was but it was a significant role. The next year, he was the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, obviously another good role.

    He had a twin sister. She was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Neither of them were particularly good students. Neither of them were gifted actors. And they arrived at the school in like the fifth grade (as opposed to most of us who were there since kindergarden). But they were somehow related to this English teacher. So they got the coveted roles. What fucking bullshit.

    Anyway, that guy died like 15 years ago under mysterious circumstances.

    Christmas Story. Charles Dickens can fuck right off. Mark Twain was a noted critic as well.

    San Francisco Alta California, February 5, 1868

    MARK TWAIN IN WASHINGTON

    [SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT OF THE ALTA CALIFORNIA.]

    The Great Dickens — An Honest Criticism

    WASHINGTON, January 11th.

    Charles Dickens.

    I only heard him read once. It was in New York, last week. I had a seat about the middle of Steinway Hall, and that was rather further away from the speaker than was pleasant or profitable.

    Promptly at 8 P.M., unannounced, and without waiting for any stamping or clapping of hands to call him out, a tall, “spry,” (if I may say it,) thin-legged old gentleman, gotten up regardless of expense, especially as to shirt-front and diamonds, with a bright red flower in his button-hole, gray beard and moustache, bald head, and with side hair brushed fiercely and tempestuously forward, as if its owner were sweeping down before a gale of wind, the very Dickens came! He did not emerge upon the stage — that is rather too deliberate a word — he strode. He strode — in the most English way and exhibiting the most English general style and appearance — straight across the broad stage, heedless of everything, unconscious of everybody, turning neither to the right nor the left — but striding eagerly straight ahead, as if he had seen a girl he knew turn the next corner. He brought up handsomely in the centre and faced the opera glasses. His pictures are hardly handsome, and he, like everybody else, is less handsome than his pictures. That fashion he has of brushing his hair and goatee so resolutely forward gives him a comical Scotch-terrier look about the face, which is rather heightened than otherwise by his portentous dignity and gravity. But that queer old head took on a sort of beauty, bye and bye, and a fascinating interest, as I thought of the wonderful mechanism within it, the complex but exquisitely adjusted machinery that could create men and women, and put the breath of life into them and alter all their ways and actions, elevate them, degrade them, murder them, marry them, conduct them through good and evil, through joy and sorrow, on their long march from the cradle to the grave, and never lose its godship over them, never make a mistake! I almost imagined I could see the wheels and pulleys work. This was Dickens — Dickens. There was no question about that, and yet it was not right easy to realize it. Somehow this puissant god seemed to be only a man, after all. How the great do tumble from their high pedestals when we see them in common human flesh, and know that they eat pork and cabbage and act like other men.

    Mr. Dickens had a table to put his book on, and on it he had also a tumbler, a fancy decanter and a small bouquet. Behind him he had a huge red screen — a bulkhead — a sounding-board, I took it to be — and overhead in front was suspended a long board with reflecting lights attached to it, which threw down a glory upon the gentleman, after the fashion in use in the picture-galleries for bringing out the best effects of great paintings. Style! — There is style about Dickens, and style about all his surroundings.

    He read David Copperfield. He is a bad reader, in one sense — because he does not enunciate his words sharply and distinctly — he does not cut the syllables cleanly, and therefore many and many of them fell dead before they reached our part of the house. [I say “our” because I am proud to observe that there was a beautiful young lady with me — a highly respectable young white woman.] I was a good deal disappointed in Mr. Dickens’ reading — I will go further and say, a great deal disappointed. The Herald and Tribune critics must have been carried away by their imaginations when they wrote their extravagant praises of it. Mr. Dickens’ reading is rather monotonous, as a general thing; his voice is husky; his pathos is only the beautiful pathos of his language — there is no heart, no feeling in it — it is glittering frostwork; his rich humor cannot fail to tickle an audience into ecstasies save when he reads to himself. And what a bright, intelligent audience he had! He ought to have made them laugh, or cry, or shout, at his own good will or pleasure — but he did not. They were very much tamer than they should have been.

    He pronounced Steerforth “St’yaw-futh.” This will suggest to you that he is a little Englishy in his speech. One does not notice it much, however. I took two or three notes on a card; by reference to them I find that Pegotty’s anger when he learned the circumstance of Little Emly’s disappearance, was “excellent acting — full of spirit;” also, that Pegotty’s account of his search for Emly was “bad;” and that Mrs. Micawber’s inspired suggestions as to the negotiation of her husband’s bills, was “good;” (I mean, of course, that the reading was;) and that Dora the child-wife, and the storm at Yarmouth, where Steerforth perished, were not as good as they might have been. Every passage Mr. D. read, with the exception of those I have noted, was rendered with a degree of ability far below what his reading reputation led us to expect. I have given “first impressions.” Possibly if I could hear Mr. Dickens read a few more times I might find a different style of impressions taking possession of me. But not knowing anything about that, I cannot testify.

  • Newt Wallen versus John Hinckley Jr

    So Newt posted a video all about Horseface. It’s some creepy bullshit that he apparently would play at the movie theatre that he managed. I can’t imagine why they shut down. Maybe because people don’t want to see this amateur, overtly sexual bullshit starring a horsefaced woman when they’re going to the cinema.

    • “Crystal looks so hot in this!! Dayummmmm”

    Newt says, “yea these were good old days. she is wearing the velvet costume we had made for the TED 2 shoot in Vancouver as well”

    Here;s another one:

    Horntard: the lovely crystal quinn how is she

    Newt: no clue. we are no longer friends.

    Horntard: that sucks

    Newt: she has not spoken to me in 2 years.

    Horntard: I just reunited with Catherine Cochran recently on her scream dream podcast hopefully jessa will unblock me one day

    Newt: im sure she will. Jessa is busy. Has lot of followers. Shes super funny and talented

    Horntard: ok buddy

    They’re commiserating and encouraging each other over people who they’re stalking.

    So recently I made a reference to John Hinckley Jr watching Newt’s videos in prison. This was eroneous. First of all, he was never in prison. He was in a mental health facility. But secondly, he’s out. He’s been out since 2016. And he’s on Youtube.

    https://www.youtube.com/@johnhinckley6860

    People leave the same handful of bullshit comments about Reagan and Jodie Foster in every video. It must be tiring as fuck for him. I got sick of it after about ten comments.

    The guy did something over 40 years ago and he’s still hearing about it. Constantly. He’s trying to rebuild his life. He doesn’t have much going on. He’s nearly 70. He spent most of his life in this mental health facility. And he has to read the same three bullshit comments every fucking day.

    It’s like with Newt. Everything he does, “Hey, remember when you plagiarised? What a plagiarist. Go plagiarise, you plagiarising plagiarist.”

    Can we move past this? I’m not saying that we should forget about the plagiarising or the assassination attempt, I’m just saying let’s focus on what they’re presenting now. In the case of Newt, it’s trash. So let’s talk about this trash on it’s own merits. Don’t just repeat “plagiarism” and think that you’re being clever. It’s the polar opposite of clever. It’s tragically idiotic.

    It’s like those fucking retards on Reddit who repeat the same three “jokes” day after day, year after year. We get it. The man said “5:40” like five years ago. What else do you have?

    Anyway, John Hinckley has three times as many subscribers as Newt. And he makes videos where he plays his guitar and sings. Much more watchable than anything Newt has released.

    Also, NOT ONCE, does he mention Jodie Foster. Compare this to Newt who can not fucking shut up about Horseface.

    Newt should be the one in the mental health facility.

    Reagan is responsible for setting the US on the course to fascist corporatism. What was James Rolfe’s big offense? He’s dumb and lazy.

    Also, just look at Jodie Foster and look at Horseface. It’s no contest. I’ll take 61 year old Jodie Foster today over Horseface. So John Hinckley Jr has better taste than Newt too.

    Anyway, hopefully Newt gets the help that he so desperately needs. And Horseface gets the protection that she needs. He needs to fucking stop this shit immediately.

  • Idle Hands is a KILLER Comedy! Bonus Director Interview – Tony from Hack the Movies

    I know that I said that I wasn’t going to talk about Tony any more as a result of his support for autistic orphans getting urinated on by their fat, controlling, violent, hillbilly pimps but I’m making an exception for this fucking creep show.

    He’s in a hotel, next to an unmade bed, with this fucking 300 pound “professional cosplayer” who he met off the internet. He was in Florida for some nerd convention that I guess people from Screenwave went to. But he’s not with Screenwave any more. Is he? I think that he still has some involvement with them, they’re taking a cut of whatever money he makes from Youtube, but I don’t think he’s working for them any more. So…why did he go to this thing?

    I’m perplexed by this woman’s legs. Is she wearing some kind of multi-hued pants or…are her legs multi-hued? I honestly can’t figure it out.

    Couldn’t Tony at least make the bed for this? It’s so low-effort. Or maybe this was intentional. He’s trying to boast over having sex with this unemployed wildebeest. Not that wildebeests usually have jobs.

    I’m eight minutes in. They’re not saying anything interesting. Of course. So I’ll just fat shame this woman for the rest of the article.

    How on earth is this woman making a living doing cosplay? She’s literally 300 pounds. At least.

    And you look at her cosplay, on the few pictures that she has on Instagram…and they’re awful. In some of them she’s trying to look “sexy”…I guess…but in others, it’s just weird shit. Weird shit that I don’t want to see. Nobody wants to see this.

    Who’s paying for this? Enough that she’s apparently able to live on this?

    There’s no way. Nobody is paying this woman.

    Well, wait a minute. She didn’t say that she was living off of cosplay. She merely said that she’s a “professional cosplayer”. That simply means that somebody paid her one time. I guess I can believe that. Maybe. Once. Some horny lunatic.

    She also has an online store where she sells posters of the three photos that she seems to have of herself.

    I just don’t understand why these people are so adverse to getting jobs. Are jobs really that bad?

    So we’ve got this 300 woman claiming to be a “professional cosplayer”. Good for her…I guess. She’s feeling confident about herself. “Hey, look at me. I’m a sexy…fat chick”. Okay, you go, girl. This is some real feminism.

    I’m not suggesting some kind of pogrom against fat chicks. They have a right to exist. But…do they need to be in the “sexy” professions? Is it so crazy to say, “Only sexy chicks should be in sexy professions”?

    Obviously, it’s a form of a discrimination. Just like you need certain qualifications to be a doctor. But I don’t see the guy working at your local delicatessen saying, “Hey, come on. I should be able to perform heart surgery too. Let’s open the profession up. Enough of the discrimination.” There need to be standards for jobs. Different jobs requiring different qualifications. You can be fat and still work. There are plenty of jobs that fat people can do. But “cosplayer” should not be one of them. Not the “sexy” variety, at least.

    By the way, this woman is extremely shiny. I don’t know what this is. Tony’s jizz, I guess.

    I’m 28 minutes in. I’m bored out of my mind.

    It’s not that I don’t appreciate fat goth chicks. I do. But…know your limits. You can walk around in your black outfits and do your wacky makeup. I’m all for it. Work with what you’ve got. Maximise your potential. But always have in the back of your mind, “I’m a fat chick. Not fucking…Jayne Mansfield.” I need to update my references. I don’t know who the hot chicks are today. Or for the past 70 years.

    But…come on. I’m not jerking off to this woman. Not in a million years. I’m sure that she’d be a perfectly fine receptionist in a dentist’s office or something. But sexy cosplayer? Fuck no.

  • Thanksgiving is better than Scream – Newt Wallen

    Hey, PVC Bondage Guy without makeup. What a refreshing change.

    0:15 – Newt says that he just left a “press screening” with PVC Bondage Guy over here. It must be incredibly easy to get such tickets because…what press is Newt Wallen representing? The Plagiariser’s Gazette?

    She seems to be wearing something normal as well. Dare I say even classy. Looks like a coat…wait a minute. Is this a man’s suit jacket? No…there’s a zipper on the sleeve.

    Newt’s been talking non-stop for the past five minutes.

    I’m reminded of a Filipina woman who I went out with. She was a nurse, of course. She was always extremely busy. Allegedly. She suggested that we go to a church for our first meeting. Fuck. Whatever. But we didn’t do that. We eventually got coffee.

    She never shut up. She talked the entire fucking time. For the first 30 minutes, I tried to interrupt to keep up my end of the conversation but she just talked over me so I gave up. I made a little game of it. “How long can I say absolutely nothing, not even ‘uh huh’ before she stops talking?” As it turns out, there was no limit. She talked the entire fucking time and I said NOTHING for the last half hour of the “date”.

    Then I get home and she texts me saying, “You don’t talk much, do you?” Oh, I was fucking livid. There was NO WAY to get a word in with this woman. She never took a breath. So I let her have it. Fucking bitch.

    She sent me about 20 pictures of her feet, though. I didn’t even ask. I’m not interested in that shit. What the fuck. It takes all kinds.

    12:15 – PVC Bondage Guy gets excited by a scene where a woman gets cooked alive. She’s mentioned liking this sort of thing before.

    I’m just going to stop the video here. I don’t want my opinion of PVC Bondage Guy to drop any further. She’s going for the classy look here today. Let’s keep it on a positive. That’s what people are looking for when they come to the blog. A little positivity.

  • Prison City – Neighbor Nerds – Cinemassacre

    This is disgraceful. It’s an ad for a game made by Screenwave. How is this not a massive conflict of interests? It’s Screenwave reviewing its own game.

    0:00 – “This is a game by (something) and Retroware. Retroware also made the AVGN game.”

    Retroware is Screenwave. They just rebranded because Screenwave became such a “toxic” name. Why can’t there be a shred of honesty in here?

    1:15 – “The lovely people at Retroware sent me a code.”

    Yeah. It’s Screenwave. Why can’t they just say, “Hey, Justin Silverman, who’s standing over there, sent me the code for this game”?

    1:30 – Then fucking James Rolfe shills for the game, blatently, saying that it’s on all consoles, and then lists all of the consoles.

    There was also a trailer for the game that played earlier in the video.

    This is ridiculous.

    1:45 – Oh, he does actually say, “Justin gave me a code for the game.” He should have said this in the beginning. And this is John saying all of this, by the way. James mostly says “yeah”.

    4:15 – James puts the game on “easy” mode. What am I watching? Erin Plays?

    I’m stopping the video at 18 minutes. It’s just a compilation. It’s an advertisement. They seemed to play this game for at least two hours. James points out that they were on a boss for 45 minutes. He’s really annoyed by this.

    I’m just not interested. I’m not interested in watching a compilation and I’m certainly not interested in watching an ad.

    It reminds me of how Mike recently started adding “rage compilations” to his channel. I’m not watching that. I don’t care. They seem to do at least as well as his normal videos, though, so maybe it’s just me. But I like watching actual footage of a game being played without cuts every five seconds.

    Am I going to watch 50 hours of him playing Final Fantasy VI? No. But I’d still rather watch a few hours of it, unedited, so that I can follow what the fuck is going on in the game. I don’t care about him “raging.”

    So another terrible video from Cinemassacre. I mean…it’s an ad. Fuck off.

    Let’s see what the boys on Reddit had to say.

    Somebody made a thread pointing out that the video was entirely praising the game. That’s true. They didn’t complain about anything. It’s a fantastic game, according to them.

  • Master Sword Music versus Rex Viper

    If for some reason you’re unfamiliar with Master Sword Music, it’s TeeJayTheGamer’s record label/Youtube channel/fantasy. As here:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPQKl8M03bZeiP4wNbVhaPQ

    You might know Tee Jay better as Mr Wright Way II from Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer”‘s fine Youtube channel.

    Rex Viper is James Rolfe’s embarrassing midlife crisis novelty Youtube band.

    So you to Mr Wright Way II’s Youtube channel and you see a lot of videos that are remixes of 8 or 16 bit game console music. So…just instrumentals. And…whatever, chiptune instrumentals. I guess. Is that what it’s called “chiptune”? I don’t know.

    Anyway, I don’t want to listen to that shit. I mean…I listened for 30 seconds to some video. It’s remixed video game music. I think. If that’s interesting to you, check it out. But given that the view numbers for these videos is typically under 100, I don’t think that this has mass appeal.

    Here’s a birthday song for Zap Cristal. I’m not sure if she was still with the original Mr Wright Way at the time that this was released or not. It’s from March 2023.

    0:00 – Oh, this is embarrassing. Mr Wright Way II comes out to some like 1980s hiphop shit and he’s getting jiggy with…something.

    There’s a picture of him, Zap Cristal, and an impoverished immigrant in a Darkwing Duck costume.

    I’m a minute in. There’s an echo. This is done intentionally but it has the effect of me only being able to understand about 20% of what’s being said. “I love you” is about all I can decipher. I’m flattered, Mr Wright II, but I like the ladies.

    1:00 – “We belong together like Link and Zelda.”

    I wish that that was among the 80% that I couldn’t understand.

    1:15 – “I don’t care if the whole world is mad at me, you will always be my Final Fantasy.”

    This seems to be what he does. He sings/raps/whatever and inserts video game references into the lyrics.

    1:30 – “She’s the best. Just like my Nintendo.”

    You know…it’s difficult to decide which lyrics to quote. Because I want to quote the cringy lyrics but they’re ALL cringy. How can I decide? Are the lyrics just posted here? I’ll just post the lyrics.

    Fuck. Talk about amateur hour. No lyrics posted.

    1:45 – “She touch me like a 3ds, that’s all that I’m saying.”

    Oh god. I don’t even know what that means.

    2:30 – “Don’t make me be a single player, so glad I got my gamer girl.”

    Eugh. I never want to listen to this again. Do I have to continue this? Rex Viper wins. Okay? We can stop the article here. Rex Viper is clearly superior to this shit.

    3:15 – “You can’t tell me you ain’t my boo, I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”

    This can be taken more than one way, given Zap’s preference for violent, controlling black men.

    So that’s…eugh…the video. I think that it gave me diarrhea.

    288 views after seven months.

    Let’s move swifly on.

    0:15 – Footage of Mr Wright Way II freeloading on Zap Cristal’s shitty Ikea sofa. No arm rests. This must be the cheapest sofa that they sell.

    I got a futon from Ikea fuck, I don’t know, 15 years ago. It was the first piece of furniture that I got in the UK. I had an unfurnished place and no bed and no sofa so I combined the two.

    I took this thing with me everywhere. I moved loads of times. I remember dragging this heavy thing like two miles away when I was moving to a new place and didn’t have the money for a guy in a van to help move.

    So a couple of years ago, it got a huge hole in it, just from wear and tear of my ass being on it. So I got a patch and the patch helped for a while but ultimately the hole kept growing or the patch came loose or something. My sewing skills aren’t amazing.

    I didn’t want to get a new sofa because I’ve been through so much with this sofa. So I got new slip covers and also new foam. The cushions were really flat by this point.

    Ikea doesn’t make covers for 15 year old sofas but there’s some company in Eastern Europe who does it. It was like £200. They had a bunch of different fabrics and colours and patterns. I got a nice velvet cover.

    And for the foam, I went to a local foam shop. Unbelievably, such a place exists. And also, this guy makes custom covers so had I known that, I probably would have made use of the local company but oh well. The foam was another…I don’t know…£150 or something.

    So for £350, I could have bought a decent, but not great new sofa from Ikea. But why would I do that? I have a perfectly good sofa. I mean, the frame was good, anyway. And I like the style and design. So I invested the money into keeping the futon alive.

    Back to the video. I can’t. I made it to 1:47. It’s the cringiest shit in the history of cringe.

    I refuse to look at more videos. I refuse to listen to one more second of any of this shit. This is why nobody is watching the videos. They’re awful.

    Cristal Laboy got credit for “directing” that video. She openly uses this name in connection with Zap Cristal so there’s no “doxxing” here. You can find her Youtube channel here:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZVfHAKHaGJtS_58mPeGPaA

    There aren’t any videos there, other than links to Zap Cristal videos, but the banner says that she homeschools her child.

    Eugh. That poor kid. Trapped with this lunatic and his latest black stepfather 24 hours a day. And they’re both IDIOTS. What can they possibly be teaching this kid?

    It also puts her creepy comments toward this kid into an even more sinister perspective. Like she made some “sexy” videos that he was filming. She was showing her cleavage and whatnot. Oh god. It’s not right. Social services should be called.

    What was the thesis here? Oh, this guy’s music versus Rex Viper. Yeah, I’ve listened to all of Rex Viper’s stuff and it’s awful but it’s got to be better than this shit. Let me just listen to a song and see how much I can endure. I couldn’t even get through that two minute song of Mr Wright Way II’s.

    Which one should I choose? Nintendo Power of Love, I guess. That’s the only one that I can’t remember so it’s something of an even playing field.

    Five and a half minutes. Eugh. I can do it. Rex Viper will actually be a palette cleanser after that Mr Wright Way II shit.

    Starts with the Back to the Future theme. Okay. Sounds accurate. I still don’t get the point of these songs but…whatever. They aren’t parodies. It’s just…they take two unrelated things and…do something with them.

    2:30 – Oh yeah. Newt is in this one. I think. It doesn’t really look like Newt.

    Okay. I’m going to stop at 3:30. It’s shit but it’s still better than anything than Mr Wright Way II ever has produced or ever will produce.