Gamer Girls

Another entry in Erin’s “It’s Late and I’m Tired” series of videos.

0:00 – “Sunsoft is known for being one of the best developers for the NES.”

Really? She shows pictures of Sky Kid, Gimmick, Batman, Spy Hunter, Journey to Silius, Freedom Force. The only game I’ve even heard of is Batman. And I don’t like that game.

I’m not saying that I’m an NES historian by any means. I played a few of the popular games at friends’ houses as a kid. I dabbled in some games through emulation, over twenty years ago. But I think I have some idea of what the good NES games are. I watch these fucking videos. Mike Matei and…mostly Mike Matei, I guess. I can’t think of anyone else who I watch who covers NES games in any meaningful way.

So no, I’m challenging the assertion that Sunsoft is one of the best developers for the NES. But who am I to question a hardcore video game enthusiast like Erin? She’s all played of the NES games. On stream, for money. For a few minutes each.

Then she shows Gremlins 2, which has to suck dick, and Lemmings, which also has to suck dick, at least on the NES.

Blaster Master and U-four-ia. Never heard of them either. Actually, maybe Blaster Master is that game where you’re a tank of some sort and you can get out of the tank.

0:15 – Fester’s Quest is her first example of a bad game. Oh, this is really covering new ground. Did you guys ever hear that Fester’s Quest might be a bad game?

Sure. You mean from the AVGN episode? Or from the 15 streams that Mike has done of this game where he repeatedly talks about how shit the game is? Yeah. I know about this one already, Erin.

Then it’s straight to Wikipedia.

0:15 – She says that due to reruns, The Addams Family was “still pretty popular in North America” at the time of this game’s release.

Really? North America? I mean, the US, okay. I knew about the show at this time. I knew that reruns were being aired.

But was it the same in Canada? And Mexico? Does Erin even know what North America means?

I don’t know. Maybe the 1960s Addams Family show was all the rage in 1990s Mexico. I can’t say one way or the other. I’m thinking that Spanish-language programs would probably be more popular there. But I don’t know. Maybe they got a dubbed version. But how does Erin know this? How is Erin such an authority on Canadian and Mexican television in the 1990s?

What even is North America? In terms of continents. Surely the countries in Central America are also a part of North America. Let me look this up.

Yeah. Not only that, but the Carribean too. So you’re telling me that The Addams Family was popular in all 47 countries, dependencies, and other territories that can be found on this list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_America#Definitions

Go fuck yourself. Nobody was watching The Addams Family in Haiti. They didn’t have tvs.

Was it big in Panama? And Jamaica? And El Salvador? There’s no chance.

“North America”. You fucking cretin.

0:45 – “Let’s get to the problems. Where do I begin?”

Just asking Mike. He’s done numerous streams on this game. Tell him to stop fucking you in the ass for two seconds and help you with your video.

1:15 – There’s footage of somebody (unlikely to be Erin) farming a particular spot in the game. I have seen Mike farm this particular area so many times that it’s burned into my memory. This footage is almost certainly taken from one of Mike’s many streams of this game. This basically is the stream. Just him farming this area.

Then there’s more footage. I remember exactly where I’ve seen all of this. Mike recently did a compilation of one of his Addams Family streams and put it together in some kind of “funny” way with him “raging” or something. And he played this compilation during a break in a recent stream that he did. He used to show McDonalds commercials or just play music but recently he started showing wacky compilation of previous streams.

That’s exactly where this footage is from. I remember this. This gameplay is in the exact same order as that compilation. All she’s done is taken Mike’s fucking compilation video. She couldn’t even bother playing the game for this video.

3:00 – “This could be a great game if these issues were fixed.”

Mike said this exact same fucking thing in his recent stream of the game. He was going on and on about how some rom hacking nerd should fix the game. Erin did NOTHING for this video. This is all Mike. Mike played the game. Mike came up with the script. It’s all Mike.

Erin isn’t even appearing on screen. What are ShiShi and Joe from Game Sack supposed to jack off to? She’s just reading Mike’s script.

Next game is Xenophobe. Never heard of it but Mike must have played it recently.

5:15 – Platoon. “Possibly the worst NES game that I’ve ever played.”

Yeah. Well, let’s hear what NES expert Erin Plays has to say.

I’ve definitely seen somebody playing this recently. And it had to have been Mike. I’m not watching anyone else who’s playing NES games. I know that the issue is going to be the confusing map system where you go or down in the jungle at certain points, like in the Friday the 13th NES game. I’ve never played the game so how would I know this other than from watching something on Youtube? And as I said, it had to be from Mike.

6:00 – “You have to press left or right before pressing up, otherwise you’ll just be jumping in place.”

Well…no shit. That’s how jumping works in video games. God, she’s fucking clueless.

6:15 – Exactly. She’s talking about how the game is a maze and it’s like Friday the 13th. This is from Mike.

7:15 – “So there you have it. Three bad games from Sunsoft.”

“Help” by Mike Matei?

Then she encourages you to watch her other INCREDIBLY no-effort videos in this “series”.

7:30 – “What developer would you like to see me tackle next?”

I don’t know. What’s Mike streaming these days?

It is fucking preposterous. Mike is doing all of the gameplay and scripts for Erin and for James Rolfe. None of these people want to do any work. Mike isn’t even doing any work, he’s just rehashing his streams.