More completely baffling anti-comedy from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. She’s done a few of these videos. If these are the “highlights” of her streams, I’m not missing anything.
0:00 – She’s playing some game. There’s a cat in it. She says, “Hi. Hi little kitty. Hello. I love you.”
Get it? No. Nobody does. But it’s going to be this for 18 minutes. Pam thinks that these are jokes. It’s just a window into her insanity.
1:00 – Whoa. Views must be going down on her Twitch. She’s wearing a pink tank top. Then she pans the camera down. Shows her gut. Might be time to start doing some sit ups, Pam. And lay off the poutine. Your metabolism has obviously changed. It happens as we get older. There’s no shame in it. But don’t just let yourself go like Retro Ali has done.
I’ll say this about Erin, there was a time, maybe a year or two ago, when she was starting to pack on some weight. But then she lost it. So I assume that she went on a diet and/or started exercising. So good for Erin.
But Retro Ali? No. She just gave up. She gained 40 pounds and then she said, “Fuck it. I just won’t make Youtube videos any more.” Probably for the best. Her videos were horrendous. Still, she should probably get into shape just for her own health. But whatever you do, please don’t go back to making videos.
1:15 – “This could also be a stream where two men with great hair never kiss.”
She said something like this. She’s slurring her words because she’s a fucking drunk.
But yeah. There’s nothing cool about refusing to accept people’s sexuality. Turn in your woke card, you fat, dog-fucking drunk.
2:45 – She mentions that she didn’t link to something on Reddit. She registered a sub-reddit shortly after I started the Erin Plays sub-reddit, whatever it was, three or four years ago. Retro Ali also did the same thing. Like I would fucking be interested in starting entire sub-reddits for these women. I don’t even like writing about them on my blog twice a month or whatever. Both of these women are aggressively boring. And nobody wants to read this shit.
But yeah, she has a sub-reddit. And apparently she uses it. I don’t know because it’s set to private. But you can check it out here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/cannotbetamed/
Maybe you can try to get invited in. I have no interest so I won’t be attempting this.
4:00 – She’s talking about some fundraiser. I don’t know what the fundraiser is. Pam is raising money for the Indians again, I guess. Pam is all about those Indians. They need money, I guess. For what? They’re not going to be able to buy their land back.
6:00 – She’s basically just saying “fuck” and “bullshit” a lot. This is “comedy” in her mind. Gratuitous profanity.
6:45 – Oh, she talks about ordering poutine from DoorDash. No. Pam. We’ve been over this. You don’t need it. Try a homemade salad instead. Light dressing.
“I love fish and chips.”
You’re not listening, Pam. Maybe once in a while, on your once-a-month cheat day, you can have some poached fish and baked sweet potato fries. But your days of going to the local fish and chip shop, which I’m pretty sure don’t exist in Canada, are over.
Fish and chips. Fuck you. That shit barely even exists in England any more. I NEVER saw such an establishment in London. I’ve seen a few in other parts of the UK but not many and they’re not popular. Tastes have changed. Restauranteurs have changed. The people opening restaurants nowadays, and for the past 40+ years, are immigrants. So they’re selling their native food. Not fucking fish and chips.
I’ve seen some bullshit, though. Fucking white British people running a Chinese restaurant. It’s ridiculous. How authentic can this possibly be? And I’ve seen this numerous times.
Why aren’t these white British people opening fish and chip shops? Because nobody wants that shit any more. The only time when that was a viable business was when there wasn’t any other kind of food being sold. Once the first Indian restaurant opened, people said, “Let’s not go to the eel pie place any more.”
7:45 – Pam tries to emasculate some horntard who was trying to help her with the game.
10:00 – She’s talking about poutine again. This is funny, right? Repetition? Just keep mentioning a food. Preferably a regional that isn’t available to the lion’s share of your audience.
Hey. Look at me. I’m different. My passport has a different design than yours.
Yeah. Nobody gives a shit, Pam. Here’s an interesting Canadian stereotype that you can mention: the people are boring. And Pam certainly fits that stereotype. Aggressively boring.
13:30 – “I would love the world’s sexist monsters to compete for my affection.”
She’s just repeating something that was said in the game. But Pam. You’re 40 years old. The sexy monster ship has sailed.
14:15 – “I did have an existential crisis on my birthday. But I got over it.”
Well, look at your life. Look at what you’re doing. Playing video games for horny retards for pennies. Single. No children. It might be time to do some further reflection.
14:30 – “Look at those cum gutters.”
I think that she’s referring to this male vampire who, as far as I’m aware, has never said that he’s a homosexual. I mean, I’ve never played the game. Maybe this vampire is openly gay.
But even if he is, it’s not appropriate to objectify people. Isn’t that common sense? You don’t objectify gay men, straight men, gay women, straight women, women who fuck their dogs. None of this. Don’t we all know this?
Then you have Woke Pam over here talking about the patriarchy and the plight of the American Indians and whatnot. No. You’re offensive. You’re an offensive person, Pam. You’re an illiberal reprobate.
15:15 – “I would love to do voice acting. I don’t know if I’m emotive enough to do that but if anyone knows any game developers who are like, ‘We need a monotone robot voice’, that’s me.”
Well, at least she has some self-awareness.
I’m going to stop here. There’s another two minutes but…no. Fuck this.
Let’s check out her Twitter.
Whoa! She went as Elvira for Halloween. I tell you in advance so that you can grab your tissue.
It’s an interesting take on the Elvira costume. I like it. Because we’ve seen these slut Elvira Halloween costumes a billion times already by a billion other women.
But Pam has an interesting twist on the costume. She’s not going as the youthful Elvira from the 1980s. She’s going as Cassandra Peterson as she looks now, as a 71 year old woman.
One of the horntards in the comments suggests that she should do a video as Elvira. Uh huh. He’s a big fan of the Elvira games, I guess.
Who’s asking her about assless chaps? Did her dog learn to speak?
And here’s Pam in her “sexy” costume.
Good thing she had a girdle available to suck that gut in.
Well, I’ll say this. Pam at least delivered on the “sexy” costume this year. I mean, I’m totally flaccid but at least she tried.
As opposed to, say, Erin Plays. Erin didn’t do shit. A sweatshirt? A basketball jersey? Fuck off. That’s not remotely sexy. That’s not even trying. Zero Effort Erin strikes again.
Ooh. What about Madam Fomo? Did she do anything for Halloween?
Yeah. She went as a prostitute. Oh wait. That’s not a costume. These are just her normal pictures.
But she does have this interesting tweet:
She’s just…I don’t know…complaining about somebody. Nobody knows or cares who.
But the interesting part is that she says that Youtube pays $4.37 for every 1000 views.
So Pam averages about 8,000 views a video. Something like that. So that’s $35. Even if these videos don’t take hours to edit, which I think they do, it’s not worth it. Just go get a regular job and you can make $35 in a couple of hours. Even a minimum wage job is going to get you $35 in three or four hours.
And Madam Fomo is dismissive of Youtube’s pay structure because she’ll give you the world’s worst handjob for $35. For Madam Fomo, $35 is five minutes of work.
We still have tons of chippies in the midlands. One of the best ones in Stoke City closed down a few years back which was tragic though. But even the remaining ones are run by Pakistanis.
I’ve patroned a few but it’s not my thing. I don’t eat seafood so options are limited. I usually get the battered sausage and soggy chips..