Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-r2KVMwKj8

0:15 – She says that if this was an official tournament of Duck Hunt, she would have to be six feet away from the tv.  But she doesn’t have space for that.  So she’s going to be six inches from the tv instead.

0:30 – “There’s that dog.  I like that dog.”

Eugh.  Terrible commentary as usual.

0:45 – “He’s kind of like Nintendo’s Huckleberry Hound.”

In what respect?  Can you expand on anything?

She jams the gun right in her eye.  This is how she’s playing the game.  With the gun jammed into her eye.

“It hurts my face to do this.”

Well, you are jamming a piece of plastic into your eye.  I would imagine that that would be painful.

1:15 – “I feel so guilty playing this game.  Couldn’t it be like drones or plates that look like UFOs?”

Oh, you mean like the clay pigeon option for this game?  How does she not know this?  She never played DUCK HUNT before.

1:45 – “You know what I noticed?  When the dog collects the duck, the duck doesn’t look totally dead, he just looks annoyed.”

Riveting, Erin.  And really, really funny.  We all love your brand of female comedy.

“I never noticed that before.”

Because you never played the game before.  Go fuck yourself.

2:00 – “My trigger finger locked up.”

Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.

“Does this hurt your face too?”

No.  Because I didn’t play the game with the gun jammed into my eye like some kind of a fucking retard.

2:15 – “Does the Duck Hunt dog have a name?”

Nobody cares, Erin.  Your commentary is neither interesting nor funny.  It’s stupid and pathetic.

3:00 – “I’ve yet to play a Super Scope.”

You don’t say.

“I remember really wanting one when I was little.”

Another riveting story about something that Erin DIDN’T do.  

And it’s for the best, really.  She could do some real damage to her eye with that thing.

She also wanted Yoshi’s Safari.  You know…because she had Yoshi’s Island.  One of two SNES games that she owned as a child.  But she never got Yoshi’s Safari.  That’s the story.  It’s a story about something that she didn’t do.  These are how all of her stories are.

3:30 – “I can’t believe I haven’t bought one yet.”

Well, I’m sure that you’ll get one soon for the purposes of doing another shitty video.

4:30 – “This also reminds me of going to Disney Land and…”

NOBODY CARES!  FUCK OFF!

4:45 – “I forgot they sped up that fast.”

Uh huh.  “Forgot”.  She never fucking played this before.

5:00 – “Let’s do the other one.  Let’s do claaaay shooting.”

She struggles with the word.  She’s never seen this before.  This is also obvious from a comment she made earlier where she said that wishes she could shoot plates.  

6:45 – After an edit, Erin says, “Oh my god, you know what I just remembered?  In the arcade version, you can shoot the dog.”

Uh huh.  “Remembered”.  Let me check Wikipedia dot com.

Under the arcade section, it says, “If the player shoots the dog, the bonus stage immediately ends.”

How did I know?  

So that was Erin giving herself permanent eye injury.  Pure trash.  As usual.  Zero effort.

– “You shoot like you’ve never held a gun before.”

What are you talking about?  Everyone know that the proper shooting technique is to jam the gun into your eye.

– “I  think ma favorite video of yours is when your messing around with the power pad because we actually get to see your whole body”

That was from horntard extraordinaire Jimmy Dean who has made it his life mission to leave a desperate comment on every video that Erin uploads.  Good luck getting a date out of this, you giant fucking imbecile.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf206SzraZY&t=3953s

What is that shirt?  Oh, Smokey the Bear.  Hey guys!  Remember Smokey the Bear?

We’ve gone over this before.  Yeah.  It’s in the video I review here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/08/erin-plays-and-mike-matei-stream.html

She was also wearing a Smokey the Bear shirt in that video.  Is it the same shirt?  

No.  So Erin has at least two Smokey the Bear shirts.  Why?  As I discussed back in August, Erin wasn’t even born when Smokey the Bear public service announcements were on tv.  How is she familiar with the character?  

Erin seems to be *nostalgic* for a time before she existed.  That’s the level of her self-loathing.  She pines for a time when she didn’t exist.

Well, we’ve got two and a half hours of Erin playing Friday the 13th for the NES with the love of her life Mike Matei.  He’s wearing a Disney shirt, by the way.  He’s 40 years old.  So we’ve got a lot of ground to cover today.

0:00 – Her usual awkward as fuck intro: “I’m here with Mmmmmike?” and awkward pointing.

Shout out to NewWaveJunkie who’s going to help these young lovers with the game.  

What about the Newlywed Game?  Has there ever been a video game adaptation of that show?  Let me look.

Maybe?  I’m seeing some shit on Amazon but I can’t figure out the platform.  It’s either a PC game or a DVD game.  Looks obscure in any event.  And there seem to be at least two versions of the game.

This might be something to check out.  A hidden gem.  It seems that you can play against other people or the people from the 1960s version of the show (or 1970s version for the other edition of the game).  I guess that they show clips from the show.

This would be good.  Mike and Erin.  They’re a couple.  They have a lot in common.  They’re obviously really sweet on each other.  It would be a cute little stream, you know?  Maybe for Valentine’s Day.  

“What’s the strangest place you and your wife ever made whoopee?”

Hilarity ensues.

0:15 – Erin says, “You’re a little bit more of an expert on this than I am.”

Oh, really?  Somebody knows more about video games than Erin?  I refuse to believe that.

So apparently they’re going to trade the controller back and forth.  Because this is a one player game.  And Erin has carpal tunnel syndrome, of course.  

I used to like these Erin and Mike streams but no longer.  And I think that I know the reason: they don’t even play the fucking game together any more.  Part of the fun was seeing a totally inept Erin playing with or against somebody who actually knows how to play video games.  It was an interesting contrast.

Now it’s just Mike playing while Erin watches.  It’s unhealthy.

So Mike starts talking about the AVGN episode that he did on this game back in 2006.  Then he starts talking about the movies and various other horror films.  Then Erin just starts reading from the chat and says, “Okay, I’m going to go.”  She totally cuts him off.  He didn’t even finish the fucking story about the AVGN episode.  She doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of this.  She also doesn’t know how conversations are supposed to work.  She wasn’t listening.  At all.  And she doesn’t give a fuck.

So Mike just drops it.  Let’s watch Erin giggle to herself for no reason as the credits run.  She must think that it’s a cute font or something.

3:15 – There’s a reference to “gummi beary juice”.  Erin doesn’t get the reference.  Hey guys!  Remember Disney’s Adventures of the Gummi Bears?  The Saturday morning cartoon?

Well, yes.  I do.  But Erin aka Cykill1986 isn’t going to remember that show that ran from 1985 to 1991.

6:45 – “It’s so weird the way things spin.”

She’s talking about how in the 3d part of the game, like in dungeon-based RPG games of the era, when you press left or right the view changes.  Like…how to even describe this?  This is such a basic concept that I can’t describe it. 

But Erin, who has no familiarity whatsoever with video games, is dazzled by this.  She’s can’t understand how things move in a 3d environment.  

Mike just ignores that ridiculously stupid comment.

7:30 – Erin gets lost in this two room little house and Mike says, “That happens to me too.”  

Really?  Come on.  

8:30 – She managed to get out, with Mike telling her exactly what to do.  Now she’s in the forest and she says, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Yeah.  We know.  I don’t know what you’re doing either, Erin.  With any of this.  She’s getting $2700/year with these videos.  Go do something else.  Something that you actually want to do.  

10:45 – Jason appears and Erin yells.

11:00 – “I don’t know what to do.”

You know what?  This game is boring, Erin is boring, Mike is boring.  I don’t want to watch this any more.

(edit: I missed some gems by quitting early.

23:45 – “I don’t want to do water activities.”

Shishi is changing his underpants again.

Erin also says that she can’t swim.  Add that to the list of things that Erin has never done before.  Holy shit.  How is it possible?  And she’s from sunny California.  What were her parents doing, if anything?)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evtj6D0VVq8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OugtqxCkUgE

I’ll bet anything that this is an ad.

Well, that didn’t take long.  I didn’t even have to start the video.  It’s in the description:

This beat ’em up was originally released in Japan and never received an official North American port until now. Thank you to (some scumbag company) for gifting me this special edition bundle of Undercover Cops on SNES! You can check them out here

And then she gives the link to their site.  She’s advertised for this company a lot.  But she never says that they’re advertisements, as you’re supposed to do.  There’s a thing on Youtube that you’re supposed to select if you’re uploading a video that has advertisements in it.  She doesn’t do this.  She doesn’t say anywhere that this is a paid ad.  She describes this as being “gifted” a game.

1:15 – You get a cute chicken keychain with this game.  

2:00 – Erin never played this before.  You don’t say…

3:00 – “Oh my goodness!  It comes with a manual!  Remember when games came with manuals?”

Yes, Erin.  But do you?

And the way she’s been talking in this video…it’s like she’s drugged or just really tired.  This all sounds really sarcastic.  She can’t even pretend to be interested in this shit.

4:15 – Start of the gameplay.  There are three characters to choose from: two guys and a sexy lady.  Who is Erin going to choose?  I wonder.

“I’m going to be Rosa because we’ve got the action figure right there.”

Oh.  So that’s why.  If this game came with a statue of a different character, do you suppose that Erin would have picked one of the guys?  No, of course not.  

And Erin is wearing her old Hamburglar shirt for this.  That’s good to see.  Remember her Hamburglar shirt?  It was the inspiration for the banner art.  

4:45 – “You use the power of your ass to just dominate these dudes.”

Ummm…no, I’ll just move on.

She keeps doing her special move, not realising that you lose health every time you do it.  You know…like in many beat em ups of the era.  She doesn’t play video games.

She’s really bad at the game.  Of course.

7:00 – “I’m just going to keep doing that little flippy flip.”

That’s what she calls the special move.  That’s cute, right?  No, it’s stupid and annoying.

But yeah, she still hasn’t figured out that you lose health every time you do this.  She doesn’t look at the health bars.  She has no idea how video games work.

7:45 – “Sometimes an arcade stick can be a little easier on my hands when it comes to beat em ups.”

How many doctors need to tell Erin that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her hands before she believes it?  This is all made up bullshit.  Maybe she tells so many lies that she’s even convinced herself on this one.

“So far I’m really enjoying this.”

Oh.  Do tell.  Watch this video and tell me which part you think Erin is enjoying?  She’s hating every fucking second of this.

8:45 – She’s continuing to do the special move and still doesn’t see that it’s taking away her health.  Will she ever figure it out?  Let’s find out.

9:15 – She’s looking in the manual.  “I’m going to try to find a new move to do.  Scissor splash?” and then she laughs.

Shishi has to change his underpants.  “Erin said something kind of sexual!  Oh my god!”

Then she ended up not even doing the move.  She couldn’t figure it out, I guess.

9:30 – Now she’s just playing as a new character.  This is all edited to shit.

She does this guy’s special move repeatedly, still not realising that it takes health away.

10:00 – “Someone flying.  Who’s this?  Is it Baxter Stockman?  No.”

Hey guys!  Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

I do, Erin.  But do you?  You’re a big Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan?  That’s what you want us to believe?  Okay.

10:15 – She keeps trying to grab a chicken that’s running around and fails hard.  She’s just standing in one spot, spamming a button, and it’s not working.  She’s using the wrong button or something.  Then she tries the special move, loses health, and that’s not it either.  Then she tries a different button, I guess, and that works.

11:00 – There are a bunch of chickens running around now and Erin again stands in one spot, spams the attack button, and tries to pick them up, but fails repeatedly.

11:45 – She’s at the boss and keeps doing the special move.  Still hasn’t figured it out.  

She’s probably taken more damage from spamming this special move than she has from the enemies.  That’s not even an exaggeration.

12:00 – She’s playing as a different character now.  She spams his special move too.

12:30 – “I think that you can do a little bitch slap move there like Sailor Moon does in the Sailor Moon R game.”

Hey guys!  Remember Sailor Moon R?  Erin did a Youtube video on this game not long ago.  For money.  

Wow.  That was only the mission 2 boss.  She’s getting completely destroyed.  By her own spamming of the special attack.

13:45 – “Oh my god.  Look at the bone soup back there.  That’s cool”.

Great commentary.  And that’s another thing that she’s done throughout this video: just commenting on shit in the background.  It’s complete dogshit as usual from Erin.

15:00 – Game over.

“So that was my first attempt at Undercover Cops”

And her last attempt.  

“I like this game.  It’s fun.”

Uh huh.  She’ll never play it again.

That’s the video.  She never figured out that this special move takes health away.  Ridiculous.  This is how every one of these games of the era did things.  Erin doesn’t have a fucking clue.

– “I’m sure you’ve realized by now the special move uses up your energy…but not the butt bounce,… booty don’t stop! lol”

Erin replies, “haha, yes I did realize that eventually :p”

When?  She was doing this for the entire time.  When did she figure it out?  And why didn’t she mention it?  And why didn’t she alter her gameplay style when she figured it out?

– “I noticed your health kept draining during specific moves like Rosa’s flip attack for example. But most arcade style beat ’em ups have a special attack that drains health.”

Yeah.  No shit.  We all know this.  Except for Erin.  She doesn’t play video games.

– “Always cringy how she forgets that the special moves in beat em ups take away your life”

She didn’t “forget”.  She doesn’t know this stuff.  Basic video game stuff.  She doesn’t play fucking video games.  She has no interest in this shit whatsoever.

– “doing special moving and not realising loosing all energy. made my day :)”

Erin replies, “I don’t play fighters or beat em ups much, so yeah. I’m a bit slow lol.”

Well, it doesn’t happen in fighting games, Erin.  Only in beat em ups.  She doesn’t know this.  She doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on because she has ZERO interest in video games.  But she made a channel where she plays video games.  Why?  What sense does this make?  She’s getting $2,700/year from these Youtube videos.  And however much RetroBit pays for these shit commercials.

– “Use the power of your ass to dominate me. Do it. You won’t.”

A lot of horntards commented on this quote of hers.  And the “scissor splash”.  

– “Erin you are soooo CUTE I love your shirt”

This is from Jimmy Dean.  He comments on how hot Erin is on every fucking video.

– “Hey erin, do u ever play modern games?”

Erin replies, “Yup! I recently played the new WarioWare and Pokemon Snap. And Doom Eternal now and then :)”

These are all games that she’s played on stream, for money.  It’s a total farce.  Why are these retards not getting it?  Don’t they see what this is?  It’s a total fucking scam.  For less than $10,000/year.  Unbelievable.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtRlpP7E2fk&t=21s

0:30 – She says that she got a new desk and she’s getting new monitors the following day.  Why?  Why does she need any sort of upgrade?  Whatever.  It’s obviously Mike buying this stuff.  He thinks that a new desk and new monitors is going to keep Erin around for a little while longer.  Bulky furniture and large electronics.  That’s what the sugarbabies today are into.  I guess.

Oh, I neglected to mention Erin’s costume.  It’s a really shitty store-bought Bat…Girl costume.  Or something.  Why doesn’t Mike spring for nicer costumes?  

I have a vague memory of going to a Halloween store as a child.  I assume that we were there to look for costumes either for me or for my siblings.  I remember seeing what must have been hundreds of those ugly rubber masks.  I guess that this is a staple of Halloween stores but who wears them?  I’ve never seen somebody wear them.  

Do Halloween stores even exist any more?  Why did they exist in the 80s?  What do these stores sell when it’s not October?  The world is a magical place full of wonder.

Oh my god.  Erin says that she’s getting a new desk and monitor because she’s been having technical problems with her streams.  Is this really happening?  Who the fuck told her that her desk and/or monitor were causing the technical problems?  

This makes no sense whatsoever.

1:15 – She starts the lies about her “carpal tunnel syndrome” again.

She’s going to use a cute controller that she saw in one of her Nintendo Power streams that has a turbo function.  She thinks that this is going to help with her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.

Then she edited something out.  It was a lot.  She was just talking about things that she’s never done before and whatnot.  The usual shit.  Nothing interesting.

7:00 – “In 1999 you were graduating high school?  That’s cool.”

How is it cool?  This is all that she ever says.  She refuses to engage with the horntards.  She doesn’t know how.  

Who would want to go to the chat, say something that you think is interesting, and then the response from your favourite gamer grrl is always, “That’s cool”.  I’d be disappointed as fuck.  Anybody of normal intelligence would be.  But these people are mentally retarded so they don’t know any better.  They’re used to having people just dismiss what they say.

7:15 – “I need to get better at, like, not getting hit.”

Yeah…

She’s really bad at the game, in case that needs to be said.

She also compared the game to Rampage earlier on, a game that she recently played on stream, for money.

8:30 – “You were born in 1985?  That’s cool.”

Somehow I knew that she was going to say that even before she said it.

Then Erin aka Cykill1986 says that she was born in 1987.

You know what I’m reminded of?  This is just going to be another Erin snoozefest so I can inject some childhood stories into the mix to try to add some entertainment value.  *Nostalgia*, if you will.

But I’m reminded of a time when some neighbour kid wanted to compare heights.  I didn’t even know the guy.  Maybe he was just visiting relatives or something.  I only saw him the one time.  

So I reluctantly agreed to this height comparison and he used his hand to try to compare his height to mine and then he said, “I’m as tall as your hair.”  I had a shitty haircut, which was the style at the time.  I also had neglectful parents who rarely took me to get my hair cut.  So my hair was a little poofed out but nothing crazy.

What I remember most about this wasn’t that smug asshole trying to belittle a kid who was probably younger than him.  What sticks out in my mind, and the reason why I still remember this event, is that the mother was there watching all of this and she laughed.  Instead of correcting her child, “Hey, that’s not very nice.  You shouldn’t speak to people like that”, this scumbag laughed.  She encouraged this behaviour.

Obviously, this comment was a fairly minor social faux pas but even as a child, I knew that it wasn’t right for that mother to laugh.  I was embarrassed by this kid’s comment and then I was further embarrassed by the mother laughing.  

And I’m not even sure if he was taller than me.  He was just doing that thing where you put the hand on the top of your head and then try to keep your hand parallel as you measure against the other person.  And there’s so much margin for error in that.  It can also be faked so easily.  

So fuck that kid, fuck his mother, and I hope that they’re both dead now.

9:00 – Erin gives an insane explanation of her understanding of a graphic that always appears on screen showing a guy running toward a flag.  The guy gets close to the flag as you progress to the level.  It’s obviously an indication to show how close you are to completing the level but Erin thinks that this is some kind of object that you can collect.  Or something.  She doesn’t have a fucking clue.  She doesn’t play video games so this is all totally foreign to her.

10:00 – “I want to make a video of this but I have to make sure that I understand the full gameplay of this.”

That’s why she’s doing the stream.  So that she has footage for this zero effort video and the horntards can explain the game to her.  Everything has to be on stream, for money.  God forbid that she does any research in her spare time.  You know…”research” as in playing video games.  Even that’s too much work for Erin.

10:45 – She was trying to catch the moon.  She thought that the moon in the background was a powerup.  Oh my god.  

12:00 – She asks the horntards to explain this guy running to the flag that I mentioned earlier.  She thinks that if you save people in the game, he advances closer to the goal.  No, you fucking idiot.  It’s just showing you how far you are in the level.

Other games have done this sort of thing.  I can’t think of any offhand but they exist and I’ve played them.  Naturally, this is all new for Erin.  She doesn’t play video games.

12:30 – “Halloween is not over until sunrise?  Good.  I like that attitude, Games and Movies.”

This is a literally retarded man who Erin takes money from.  He might just be the most retarded person who goes to the chat.  He’s the most retarded Erin fan who I’m aware of, anyway.  There are bound to be some people who are so badly off that they can’t type, though.  And non-verbal retards.  People who are illiterate.  They’re all there in the chat.  This is Erin’s crew.  Literal retards.

13:45 – A horntard says that when the person hits the flag, your attack gets stronger.  Really?  I’d look it up but who gives a fuck?

I can’t watch this any more.  How can anyone?  She plays Nightmare on Elm Street later on but I don’t want to watch that either.  

Fuck.  I’ll just pick random spots in the video and see what she says.

25:30 – “Me and Jose started saying ‘lit’ like years ago, ironically, to be funny.”

I think that Jose is in the chat.  I also think that Jose used to help Erin with her videos.  I believe that he was credited in at least one early video as editing the video or something.  This is before she knew Mike.  

So…he still goes to the chat?  It’s weird.  I’m thinking that Erin knew this guy in real life but I could be wrong.

45:00 – A horntard tells Erin about an upcoming game.  Erin says, “I’m not sure what that is.  What kind of game is that?”

59:00 – She explains why she likes this Bat Girl (sic) costume better than the other one that she has.  She gave this exact same explanation at the start of the fucking stream.  Change the record.

1:28:15 – Erin suggests doing a “hand turkey” stream for Thanksgiving.  We can all look forward to that.  Erin tracing her gnarled up carpal tunnel hand.

For Christmas, she’s going to put up lights and, “Maybe some fake snow this year.  We’ll see.”

Dare to dream.  She’s making $6,900/year from Twitch.  It doesn’t leave much money for fake snow.

She’s playing Ghoul Patrol, by the way.  She says that she’s never played it before.  You don’t say.

You can choose from a male or a female character.  No prizes for guessing which one Erin chose.

1:29:00 – Erin reveals that her favourite holiday is Halloween.

Why?  What is she doing on Halloween that’s so amazing?  This?  Putting shitty costumes on for the mentally retarded?  This is the highlight of her year?

That’s depressing as fuck.  She doesn’t seem to do much with Mike (other than buttsex).  She takes a lot of naps.  She cries in the bathtub.  She visits her parents a lot.  She has no job.  No money.  I don’t think that she has any local friends.  

It’s fucked up.  But it’s also hilarious.  She chose this.  This was all planned out.  This is all a scheme.  She wanted to be a rich and famous gamer grrl on Youtube.  She used Mike Matei to try to achieve these aims.  And it all went disastrously wrong.  It’s a wonderful story.  Horrible person fails at her con, ends up getting fucked in the ass by Mike Matei on the regular.  

It’s like those security camera videos where a robber holds up a convenience store but then trips on the way out, allowing an employee to apprehend him.  You tried to pull a fast one but all it’s going to get you is a lot of buttsex.

1:40:00 – She’s playing Nightmare on Elm Street.  She says that she last played it two years ago (on stream for money).  

2:01:30 – “What in the spirit of Halloween are you doing?  Umm…well, we were playing Zombie Nation and now we’re messing with Nightmare on Elm Street.”

No…he meant in your personal life.  But she doesn’t do anything.  

“It’s been two years since I’ve played it.”

Yeah.  We know.  You said.  Probably many times.

2:02:30 – Shout out to Horny Goriya’s recent Virtual Boy stream.  Erin says that she hasn’t seen it but plans to do so.  Sure, Erin.  Let us know how that goes.

2:03:00 – “That’s it for me.  I don’t want to go too crazy because of the, you know, hand and wrist pain I’m dealing with.”

Uh huh.  

Maybe it’s time to get a job.  But no.  Erin loves the horntards too much.  And the $6900/year.  And the buttsex.  And the humiliation.  This is her thing.  I guess.  This is where she wants to be.  

– “I was born in 1982”

That’s cool.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hktRONbbw4w&t=14s

0:00 – “Hey friends.  What’s up?”

New intro.  She usually goes with “Hey guys.  What’s up?”  These are her friends now, I guess.  That’s what she wants them to think anyway.

So two and a half glorious hours of Erin in a “sexy” costume looking at Mike’s Nintendo Powers.  Now this is entertainment.  Grab the popcorn and relax while Auntie Erin tells you stories about things that she’s never done, places she’s never been to, and games she’ll never play.

“I kind of half-assed the spooky makeup.”

Naturally.  This is what zero-effort Erin is all about.

0:15 – She refers to Luigi as “this guy right here.”

She doesn’t know who Luigi is.  Oh my god.  Let’s just move on.

0:30 – “But we still have this issue over here that  features Mortal Kombat II.”

It features Scorpion.  She can’t recognise Scorpion so she just read “Mortal Kombat II”, which was written on the cover.  

1:00 – “I did this last minute”.

She’s referring to her costume.  This is how she does everything.  She never puts any effort whatsoever into anything.  

This is what happens when you refuse to do any work in life.  You end up getting fucked in the ass on the regular by Mike Matei.  Let this be a lesson to everyone.

2:00 – She’s looking at a Monkey Ball ad.  She’s said before that she never played the game.  But today she’s saying that it’s “really fun”.  She then says that she wants to stream the Switch version of the game.  Everything has to be on stream, for money with Erin.

2:45 – In response to a comment by Shishi, Erin says that she was terrified of Chucky as a child so never watched the movies.

I’m not 100% sure how that works but…that’s how she’s explaining how she didn’t watch these particular movies.  What about all of the other movies that Erin hasn’t seen, though?  Maybe she’s just scared of movies broadly.

3:00 – She then reveals that she hasn’t watched the new Chucky show.  She’s still scared of it, I guess.  

It’s just ridiculous.  She has absolutely no interest in any of this nerd shit.  Or even non-nerd shit.  She has two interests: Disney and 1990s pop music.  That’s it.  

The whole idea of Erin being *nostalgic* for things doesn’t make sense.  She’s never done anything.  How can she possibly be *nostalgic* for things that she’s never done?  

4:30 – “Tarzan?  Oh my god.  I never saw Tarzan.”

You don’t say…

This is brutal.  All she’s doing is looking through these game reviews and saying, “I’ve never played that” and the like.  She doesn’t know the names of any of the games.  She doesn’t recognise any of the characters.  This is horrendous.

8:15 – “Remember websites?”

What?  This is too stupid to even comment on.

10:30 – “I should stream Luigi’s Mansion.  Have I ever streamed Luigi’s Mansion?  I don’t think I have.”

Play it in your spare time, Erin.  Not everything has to be on stream, for money.

11:00 – “I almost streamed a game tonight but I was a little hesitant because of my hand issues.”

It’s so tiresome.  The constant idiotic lies.

12:00 – Somebody in the chat asks about Mario is Missing and Erin has no idea what the game is.  She thinks that it’s a game that she recently played on stream, for money, but then says, “No, that’s Mario’s Time Machine.”

She doesn’t have a fucking clue.  Why does she keep doing this?  How can she go on the internet, start a live stream, and think that she can possibly field questions about video games?  She knows NOTHING about video games.  Isn’t this all terrifying for her?  

15:45 – “I’ve never used Rob the Robot.”

You don’t say…

“I feel like, in the 80s and 90s, a lot of stuff just, like, didn’t work.”

Oh, please continue, Erin.  Flesh out this brilliant theory of yours.

“Like the Power Glove.  It worked but not really.  You know what I mean?”

Okay.  There’s one thing.  You’re going to impugn two decades over the Power Glove?

“Like I had toys that didn’t ever really work well.”

And this is something that’s unique to the 1980s and 1990s.  The 80s and 90s were the nadir of functional toys according to Erin.  

It’s the world’s dumbest comment.

16:45 – “I like the game Gyromite.  I streamed it.”

Of course.  How else would you have played a video game?

17:00 – “I don’t know anything about Magic: The Gathering.”

You don’t say…

18:15 – “Ken Griffin Jr.”

18:45 – “I don’t know anything about Yugioh”.

You don’t say…

“So if I streamed anything about Yugioh, people would be yelling at me the whole time.”

That doesn’t happen now and she knows nothing about video games.  That’s not what people are here for.  We all know that Erin knows NOTHING about video games.  These people are there to jack off.  That’s it.  That’s the only reason.  They’re mentally retarded and they have some bizarre fetish for average looking 35 year old women who pretend to like video games.  

21:00 – She’s reading an article about Castlevania: Circle of the Moon.  She says, “I haven’t played this yet.”

You don’t say….

This is all that this is.  She’s going through this magazine and she doesn’t know any of the games.  What’s the point of this?  

23:15 – The horntards suggest making a video about “Castlevania games you don’t know about.”

If we’re talking about Castlevania games that ERIN doesn’t know about, as I assume it would be, that would be an extremely long video.  And how is she going to make a video about games that she doesn’t know about?

27:00 – “I have not streamed Typing of the Dead, no, but I would like to.”

I’m done.  Twenty seven minutes of Erin talking about games that she’s never played before and in most cases never even heard of before.  It’s going to be this for the entire two hours and thirty minutes.

Who the fuck would possibly watch this?  This is the most boring shit in the universe.  

https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1455049262039982081

Now she’s doing “sexy” costumes for November.  She’s Bat Girl.  Whoever that is.  No relation to Batgirl, presumably.  I’ve never seen Batgirl wear a costume like that.  This is the Chinese bootleg version of Batgirl, I guess, called Bat Girl.

She looks like your childhood friend’s mother.  It’s uncomfortable.  Put some clothes on, Mrs Fischer.  I don’t want to see this.

Super Geoff, a regular on her streams and somebody who is legitimately mentally retarded, posts an animated gif of Batman that looks like he’s masturbating.

And she has absolutely no interest in Batman.  She knows nothing about Batman.  So why would she choose this costume?  

Let me check Amazon for clearance Halloween costumes.  Now is the time to get Halloween costumes.  After Halloween.  Get the bargains.  Maybe that’s why she’s dressing up in November.  When you’re making $10,000/year, you have to make every penny count.

I found a plus-size Bad Sandy costume.  Whoever that is.  One of the reviews said, “Felt like I was putting a garbage bag on.”  Yeah.  These fucking cheap costumes.  I don’t get it.  What adult would possibly buy this shit and then go out in public in them?  They’re flimsy as hell.  They can bust apart at any second.  

There’s a lot of shit in these results.  Things that aren’t even costumes.  Let me look for a Britney Spears costume or some Disney shit.

No, nothing.  There’s Disney shit but not for adults.

  Couldn’t she just dress like Britney Spears?  Find an album cover to use as reference.  

Oh, I found something.  There’s a red jumpsuit on Amazon.  Apparently, Britney Spears wore something like that before.  Thirty bucks.  There you go.  There’s your costume.  It’s going to be complete shit but all of these costumes are.