Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OugtqxCkUgE

I’ll bet anything that this is an ad.

Well, that didn’t take long.  I didn’t even have to start the video.  It’s in the description:

This beat ’em up was originally released in Japan and never received an official North American port until now. Thank you to (some scumbag company) for gifting me this special edition bundle of Undercover Cops on SNES! You can check them out here

And then she gives the link to their site.  She’s advertised for this company a lot.  But she never says that they’re advertisements, as you’re supposed to do.  There’s a thing on Youtube that you’re supposed to select if you’re uploading a video that has advertisements in it.  She doesn’t do this.  She doesn’t say anywhere that this is a paid ad.  She describes this as being “gifted” a game.

1:15 – You get a cute chicken keychain with this game.  

2:00 – Erin never played this before.  You don’t say…

3:00 – “Oh my goodness!  It comes with a manual!  Remember when games came with manuals?”

Yes, Erin.  But do you?

And the way she’s been talking in this video…it’s like she’s drugged or just really tired.  This all sounds really sarcastic.  She can’t even pretend to be interested in this shit.

4:15 – Start of the gameplay.  There are three characters to choose from: two guys and a sexy lady.  Who is Erin going to choose?  I wonder.

“I’m going to be Rosa because we’ve got the action figure right there.”

Oh.  So that’s why.  If this game came with a statue of a different character, do you suppose that Erin would have picked one of the guys?  No, of course not.  

And Erin is wearing her old Hamburglar shirt for this.  That’s good to see.  Remember her Hamburglar shirt?  It was the inspiration for the banner art.  

4:45 – “You use the power of your ass to just dominate these dudes.”

Ummm…no, I’ll just move on.

She keeps doing her special move, not realising that you lose health every time you do it.  You know…like in many beat em ups of the era.  She doesn’t play video games.

She’s really bad at the game.  Of course.

7:00 – “I’m just going to keep doing that little flippy flip.”

That’s what she calls the special move.  That’s cute, right?  No, it’s stupid and annoying.

But yeah, she still hasn’t figured out that you lose health every time you do this.  She doesn’t look at the health bars.  She has no idea how video games work.

7:45 – “Sometimes an arcade stick can be a little easier on my hands when it comes to beat em ups.”

How many doctors need to tell Erin that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her hands before she believes it?  This is all made up bullshit.  Maybe she tells so many lies that she’s even convinced herself on this one.

“So far I’m really enjoying this.”

Oh.  Do tell.  Watch this video and tell me which part you think Erin is enjoying?  She’s hating every fucking second of this.

8:45 – She’s continuing to do the special move and still doesn’t see that it’s taking away her health.  Will she ever figure it out?  Let’s find out.

9:15 – She’s looking in the manual.  “I’m going to try to find a new move to do.  Scissor splash?” and then she laughs.

Shishi has to change his underpants.  “Erin said something kind of sexual!  Oh my god!”

Then she ended up not even doing the move.  She couldn’t figure it out, I guess.

9:30 – Now she’s just playing as a new character.  This is all edited to shit.

She does this guy’s special move repeatedly, still not realising that it takes health away.

10:00 – “Someone flying.  Who’s this?  Is it Baxter Stockman?  No.”

Hey guys!  Remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

I do, Erin.  But do you?  You’re a big Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan?  That’s what you want us to believe?  Okay.

10:15 – She keeps trying to grab a chicken that’s running around and fails hard.  She’s just standing in one spot, spamming a button, and it’s not working.  She’s using the wrong button or something.  Then she tries the special move, loses health, and that’s not it either.  Then she tries a different button, I guess, and that works.

11:00 – There are a bunch of chickens running around now and Erin again stands in one spot, spams the attack button, and tries to pick them up, but fails repeatedly.

11:45 – She’s at the boss and keeps doing the special move.  Still hasn’t figured it out.  

She’s probably taken more damage from spamming this special move than she has from the enemies.  That’s not even an exaggeration.

12:00 – She’s playing as a different character now.  She spams his special move too.

12:30 – “I think that you can do a little bitch slap move there like Sailor Moon does in the Sailor Moon R game.”

Hey guys!  Remember Sailor Moon R?  Erin did a Youtube video on this game not long ago.  For money.  

Wow.  That was only the mission 2 boss.  She’s getting completely destroyed.  By her own spamming of the special attack.

13:45 – “Oh my god.  Look at the bone soup back there.  That’s cool”.

Great commentary.  And that’s another thing that she’s done throughout this video: just commenting on shit in the background.  It’s complete dogshit as usual from Erin.

15:00 – Game over.

“So that was my first attempt at Undercover Cops”

And her last attempt.  

“I like this game.  It’s fun.”

Uh huh.  She’ll never play it again.

That’s the video.  She never figured out that this special move takes health away.  Ridiculous.  This is how every one of these games of the era did things.  Erin doesn’t have a fucking clue.

– “I’m sure you’ve realized by now the special move uses up your energy…but not the butt bounce,… booty don’t stop! lol”

Erin replies, “haha, yes I did realize that eventually :p”

When?  She was doing this for the entire time.  When did she figure it out?  And why didn’t she mention it?  And why didn’t she alter her gameplay style when she figured it out?

– “I noticed your health kept draining during specific moves like Rosa’s flip attack for example. But most arcade style beat ’em ups have a special attack that drains health.”

Yeah.  No shit.  We all know this.  Except for Erin.  She doesn’t play video games.

– “Always cringy how she forgets that the special moves in beat em ups take away your life”

She didn’t “forget”.  She doesn’t know this stuff.  Basic video game stuff.  She doesn’t play fucking video games.  She has no interest in this shit whatsoever.

– “doing special moving and not realising loosing all energy. made my day :)”

Erin replies, “I don’t play fighters or beat em ups much, so yeah. I’m a bit slow lol.”

Well, it doesn’t happen in fighting games, Erin.  Only in beat em ups.  She doesn’t know this.  She doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on because she has ZERO interest in video games.  But she made a channel where she plays video games.  Why?  What sense does this make?  She’s getting $2,700/year from these Youtube videos.  And however much RetroBit pays for these shit commercials.

– “Use the power of your ass to dominate me. Do it. You won’t.”

A lot of horntards commented on this quote of hers.  And the “scissor splash”.  

– “Erin you are soooo CUTE I love your shirt”

This is from Jimmy Dean.  He comments on how hot Erin is on every fucking video.

– “Hey erin, do u ever play modern games?”

Erin replies, “Yup! I recently played the new WarioWare and Pokemon Snap. And Doom Eternal now and then :)”

These are all games that she’s played on stream, for money.  It’s a total farce.  Why are these retards not getting it?  Don’t they see what this is?  It’s a total fucking scam.  For less than $10,000/year.  Unbelievable.