Gamer Girls

  Like all great TV shows, I’ll be taking a seven month hiatus.  I have some personal errands that I need to attend to.  

Or maybe it will be less than seven months.  Maybe it will be about ten days.  But in the meantime, I’ll be posting “classic” GamerGrrls content from my old sub-reddit.  Madam Fomo falsely copyrighted just about everything there so some of these articles might be available for the first time in a while.

To give the history, I had previously had a sub-reddit that was all about Erin and that got shut down.  I don’t know why.  I didn’t say, “Hey, let’s go after her” or make personal attacks or anything like this.  I was just reviewing her videos, all of which were terrible.  I was just completely shocked by how bad these videos were and how clearly ignorant she was about video games.

But when the sub-reddit got shut down, I thought maybe if I broaden the subject to gamer grrls generally it will look less like I’m attacking one person.  

So I came up with the GamerGrrls sub-reddit.  The odd spelling of the name was inspired by like “womyn” and stereotypical feminist type spellings where they try to eliminate “man” from the word.  I don’t think that this is an issue with feminists any more but it was a slight issue in the 1980s and/or 1990s.  Also there was “riot grrl” and shit like this.  I knew that the odd spelling would make things more difficult for people to find the sub-reddit but I didn’t care.  It was just people from TheCinemassacreTruth who were going to the sub and I didn’t care how many people read this shit anyway.

I hastily came up with a list of women retro gaming “Youtubers” who I could talk about.  Some of them I already knew, like SupaNintendoGirl (she posted on TheCinemassacreTruth briefly, just like “sexy” pictures of herself) and the rest I just Googled.  But it’s the same list that I still use: Erin, Bobdunga, PelvicGaming, Retro Ali, CannotBeTamed, and Destiny Fomo.

So I wrote about these other women, somewhat begrudgingly, just so it doesn’t look like a hate site against one person.  People didn’t want to read about these other women and I didn’t have much to say about them.

Say what you want about how boring the videos are from these women (and they are boring) but the women themselves are genuinely interested in video games.  Even Destiny Fomo, at least to a degree.  Madam Fomo (as I came to call her) used to do live streams where she would field questions from the chat and she was able to answer questions about video games in a sensible and knowledgeable fashion.  So she knew at least something about video games.  Erin would never in a million years be able to answer these questions because Erin doesn’t know jack shit about video games.  She’s not interested in that shit.  She’s a total fraud.

I also started writing about John Riggs after I noticed him commenting on all of these women’s Twitters.  It was just unbelievable.  Every time I would check out some female gaming  Youtuber’s Twitter, John Riggs was there leaving a desperate comment.  He’s creepy as fuck.  The man has a wife and three children and he’s constantly trying to have sex with these various women on Youtube.  I assume that he’s in some weird open marriage but who the fuck would have sex with John Riggs?  The whole thing is bizarre.

So I’d sometimes, although rarely, write about him.  His videos are actually watchable, unlike the women who I write about, so there’s less to critique.

I also wrote about the Angry Video Game Nerd.  Originally, I wasn’t going to do that because it’s a site about gamer grrls but people would ask and those articles would do well.  I think that most people come to the blog, even now, probably learned about it from a Cinemassacre sub-reddit, so they know about AVGN and they’re interested in the topic.

I also broadened the focus to include Tony from Hack the Movies and to a lesser extent, his co-host on the Godzilla podcast, Johanna.  When I started writing about him, it was at a time when everyone on Reddit hated him, so I wrote positive articles about him semi-ironically.  I knew that his videos were bad, I’m not blind and deaf, but I at least treated Tony, as a figure, somewhat positively.  

Now people, even on Reddit, genuinely give credit to his Talking About Tapes/Hack the Movies podcast for being, if not good, at least watchable.  They compare it to the Cinemassacre Podcast and of course just about any podcast is going to compare favourably to that piece of shit.  

Which brings me to another point.  I’ve been writing about James Rolfe and Cinemassacre and whatnot for at least three years, whether on Reddit or whatever.  And I always placed the blame for how shitty those AVGN videos are on James Rolfe.  These sub-reddits always blamed Screenwave.  I have theories on why this is, but basically it’s because the Screenwave guys are fat and there’s a large homosexual contingency on Reddit who don’t like bears.  That’s it.  That’s the genuine reason why Screenwave got so much shit for so long.

But from the start, I blamed James Rolfe.  And I’d give historic examples like how James Rolfe ruined The OverAnalyzers, which was a primitive podcast, of sorts.  James was horrendous.  He couldn’t improvise at all and he constantly talked about excrement.  The man is autistic, can’t have a conversation, and is hyper-focused on poop.  It’s gross.  He was 100% the cause for that show failing.

Then you’d see the same thing in Rental Reviews.  And now in The Cinemassacre Podcast.  He can’t hold a conversation AT ALL.  It doesn’t make him a bad person but it makes him a bad podcaster.

Now people on Reddit are finally catching on and the villain of Cinemassacre is James now.  Although, they still aren’t attracted to bears so Screenwave continues to get shit.

Anyway, I’ll be back soon with some more GAMER GRRL related content!  But in the meantime, I’ll post some old stuff but with like DVD bonus content (a couple of new paragraphs giving an update on whatever the article is about).

 We’re going Erin Plays here today.  I’m going to tell some stories about stuff that I DIDN’T do.

Watching The Head Returns got me thinking.  Here’s my review:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/10/the-head-returns-2020-cinemassacre.html

The “movie” is really childish and as I commented in the review, I wouldn’t even turn that thing in as a school project.

Then I got to thinking.  I never did any videos as a school project.  I only had one assigned to me but I managed to dodge it.

It was for 7th grade music class.  We had a new teacher.  She got her precious children involved in doing commercials and she considered herself somehow in the entertainment industry.  She was just a fat, loud, pushy redneck from Texas.

So she said that we need to do a music video.  We could do it in groups of up to three.  Oh fuck.  Group work: friend to lazy teachers and foe to reserved kids.  

I got in a group with my friend and his friend.  We went to my friend’s friend house theoretically to brainstorm for ideas but then we just played Nintendo and made fun of his Star Wars pop up book.  My friend suggested that there was a pop up Princess Leia who made this guy sexually excited.

We didn’t meet up again because it was a total waste of time.  I don’t know if it was only me who didn’t want to do this fucking video or nobody wanted to do it.  I suspect that it was just me and then they just went along with it because they didn’t want to cause problems by telling me that I have to put some effort into this shit.

But yeah, I didn’t want to fucking do it.  People are self-conscious, especially at that age.  I don’t want to make a fucking music video.  Make a total ass of myself for the entire class to see.  Why should I have to do that?  

The video was optional, by the way.  You could have just gone in front of the class and sung a song.  But for whatever reason, we all knew that we had to do a video.  If you don’t make a video, it’s like you’re saying that you’re a poor person who doesn’t have a video camera.  This was way before camera phones and digital cameras.  

But I didn’t have a camcorder.  Neither did my friend.  The only person who had a camcorder was the third guy in the group.  And we ended up severing ties with him after that first disastrous meeting.  

So now it was just me and my friend.  The due date for this assignment is getting close.  We had some sort of meeting, I can’t remember if it was at school or one of our homes, but I came up with the idea of doing a stop-motion animation using GI Joe figures.  And then I guess that we would sing over it.  It was just because I didn’t want to fucking appear on camera.  So I came up with that idea and my friend went along with it, again, I think just because he didn’t want to cause problem by saying, “Hey, that’s a really stupid idea.”

Nothing ever left the theoretical stage.  We never wrote a song.  We never sourced a camera.  All we had was this stop motion animation idea.

So it’s time to show our music videos.  We don’t have it.  Okay, we just lost a letter grade and have to turn it in next week.

In the meantime, the third guy in our group finished his project solo and it was embarrassing, as all of these probably were, but whatever.  It was him in his pool singing.

Next week rolls around, we still don’t have it.  We just lost another letter grade.

Next week, same thing.  

Next week, same thing.

So now we failed but the good news is that we don’t have to do the assignment.

I only remember two performances.  One was our former partner’s and one was from a girl in our class.  She was a new girl and she was really unpopular.  There were like three cliques of girls: the hot chicks, the average girls, and the homely girls.  The homely girls briefly let this girl into their clique but then even they weren’t having it.  She was bringing them too much heat.

Our class was overwhelmingly white and this girl was Mexican.  I think that this was a factor.  She was an awkward looking girl, she was very quiet, and she had an odd nickname that she liked to use based on her Mexican heritage.  Even the teachers called her it.  It was because her actual name was hard to pronounce so she used this easier name.

She was picked on relentlessly by some of the guys.  Not by me.  I didn’t do that to her or to anyone.  I never had a single negative thing to say about her.  But she was the recipient of a lot of abuse.  I think that she was only in our school for that one year.  Presumably, she had similar problems at her previous school and she probably had them at her next school.

So she had to turn something in for this project.  She would claim to be sick every time this class came around.  So she’d be in the nurse’s office during class.  She did this two or three times in a row.  She obviously didn’t want to do the project either.

But then one day, she decided to do it.  Maybe the teacher contacted her parents or maybe she was worried about getting an “F” in music class.  

So she comes to the front of the class and she reads like a poem.  She wasn’t singing in any way.  She was just looking down, obviously very nervous, and quietly reading this poem.  It rhymed.  It was about a guy she knew who was misunderstood.  It was presumably fictitious.  I even remember some of the lyrics.

Then people made fun of her for that poem/song for, I don’t know, a week?  Two weeks?  Something.

Anyway, I got a 0% for music class for that quarter or whatever.  I remember the homeroom teacher saying, “I don’t know how some of you got zeros for music.”  It’s because the teacher was a vindictive bitch.  The music video wasn’t the only assignment we had for that quarter and I did the other work.  But she gave us zeros because we didn’t do that stupid music video.

I remember freaking out over that zero.  Nothing happened.  It’s seventh grade music class.  Who gives a shit?  It had absolutely no effect on my life.  

I think that that was the only time when I had an assignment requiring any video footage.  It’s a bad assignment to give to children.  It just exacerbates social and self-esteem problems.  But she was a lousy teacher.  She was wholly unqualified.  Didn’t have any teaching degree.  Possibly didn’t have any degree at all.  Her fat ass was gone by the next year.