Allaunira aka Alamode

(Originally published in January 2020)

Retrospective comments: This was an odd choice for a first post on the new sub-reddit. I was looking for somebody new and that’s how I found Allaunnira aka Alamode.  She was a Youtuber who originally did videos about retro video games and then suddenly started doing mukbang videos instead.  She was having zero success with the video game stuff (which were like 100+ part Let’s Plays, which I think were just her Twitch streams)  and she had only marginally more success with the mukbangs.  

She only did the mukbangs briefly.  I think that she stopped making videos shortly before I wrote about her.  I don’t think that I was the cause, it’s unlikely that she ever read the post.   I also mention her Twitter in the article.  It no longer exists.  

Here’s the article.  It actually wouldn’t let me post it on Reddit, for whatever reason, so I had to put most of the article in a comment.  That’s why this starts so oddly.

—–   

I have stuff to say about this channel but Reddit isn’t allowing me.

Edit: The message kept getting deleted. Maybe there’s a link in there or something that got flagged. But it seems to be fine as a reply.

https://www.youtube.com/user/Allaunira/videos

Here’s an interesting channel. A female gamer who started on Youtube way back in August 2011. Something of an OG.

She did let’s plays. Let’s plays were popular at the time. They’re less popular now. A big problem is that the videos would get far fewer views as the series would go on. So part one might get 10,000 views, part two would get 5,000 and by the time you get to part 20, you’re at 50 views. Only the real diehards stick it through and no random person is just going to watch part 15 or whatever.

So what Alamode would do is play RPGs. And not the usual girly RPGs, she played hardcore manly man RPGs. Her first series is a 247 part playthrough of Planescape: Torment Blind. I’ve never heard of it but it looks like Fallout 1 or 2, or the X-Com games, or even maybe like Ultima 7 or 8.

She doesn’t appear in these videos but she does a voiceover.

By the way, I wasn’t joking about this being a 247 part series. Most of these videos are in the 15-20 minute range but the finale is nearly 90 minutes. So it’s not that she couldn’t upload long videos (like in the early days, I think Youtube had a 10 minute video limit…at least for some users) she just chose not to.

Here’s the finale:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mu49o-YQ54

Here’s a question and answer video that she did after that epic series:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7aN_2wHN2Q

She’s in sunglasses. I can’t blame her for that. She doesn’t want to be recognised. “Hey, are you that woman who made the 247 part Planetscape video?” “No.”

This Q&A is over an hour long. Bear in mind that all she did was this Planetscape series at this point. They have around 150 and 200 views today, after seven or eight years.

There’s a low level sadness in this video. Like she’s depressed. Maybe she isn’t, but that’s my takeaway from this.

She seems to know a lot about video games and nerdy computer shit. Somebody asks the always hilarious “What’s the meaning of life?” question and she gives The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy answer. So she knows that nerdy shit.

According to the comments, I think she’s 28 in this video.

Somebody asks her top 10 favourite games. She gives some action RPG games, Tomb Raider, and Civilization. Then she goes off on a little rant about how the later Civilization games aren’t any good. It’s true. I’d say that Civilzation 2 was better than the original but after that, it’s all downhill.

She also talks about games that she played as a child.

Anyway, this is somebody who knows about video games and enjoys video games. It’s not some fake bullshit. She’s not jumping around with her tits out.

Let’s look at some other videos. She does a series on Special Ops: The Last Line, Bloodbowl, some indie game called Mad Father.

She also does “Sunday Sunglasses Vlogs” where she talks about various crap in this depressing tone.

She does a video where she talks about…stuff. Hopes, dreams, whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4CzKti8Jto

She talks about studying and working and her hobbies and relationships and how she’s not satisfied with her life. Oh, she says that she’s 26 here. So she’s 32 today. Anyway, it’s good to be dissatisfied with your life. That’s what fosters change.

I appreciate the introspection. Imagine some of these dimwit female “gamers” today trying to wax philosophic for an hour. What insights into the human condition is Pelvic Gaming going to have? What can CannotBeTamed teach us about universal love? Can SupaPixelGirl teach us how to be better people?

So I can dig it. Then she does a series on Fallout, World of Warcraft, Fallout 4.

Then a video on getting her septum pierced.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg4mkDwqi8c

This was only three years ago. Still a very depressed feeling throughout this.

She doesn’t have her ears pierced, never had her ears pierced, but she got this nose piercing. It’s weird. She’s an odd woman. But whatever.

Then it’s back to Fallout 4. Then she plays Stardew Valley. Then she starts on Fallout 3.

Then in January 2019, the video game content stopped. She did a video on her “vision board”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYdboUHDSFo

It’s about her goals for the upcoming year. She wants to get some second income on a self-employed basis, pay off her Jeep, go on a cruise, change her style, write more, improve her makeup techniques, learn to paint, continue to meditate and exercise, and start a Youtube channel. She’s going to be a busy woman.

Then…the mukbang starts. This wasn’t on the vision board. I don’t think that anyone could have envisioned this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15XsXPrgMrI

It’s…this woman eating. Is she really going to eat all of this? These aren’t portions, these are entire trays of food. Straight from the oven to the table. This is a slim woman.

What the hell am I watching? She’s eating and talking about the recipe. I don’t even like salmon. Is that required to enjoy this video? Is this like those competative eating videos? Is this a sexual fetish? I have no idea.

She’s putting bread sticks in her mouth now. That has to be a sexual fetish. They’re phallic-shaped. If she brings a hot dog out, I’m done.

Let me Google “mukbang”.

Part food review, part ASMR, and part fetish, mukbang finds its massive audience by pandering to the three pillars of Internet culture: loneliness, sex, and absurdity.

Yeah. Yeah, this woman is trying to take advantage of lonely nerds. The good news is that it’s not working. She did five of these videos and they get about 300 views each. The last one was in April 2019. I’m pretty sure that she gave up with this.

She laments that she wasn’t comfortable doing gaming videos and never became popular.

This is a lonely, depressed, mentally ill woman eating food.

Maybe the shrimp cocktail video is better. But I really don’t like seafood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1kOIHiGvgM

Oh, this looks awful. Oh, and she’s eating on the floor, by the way. Like…they do in Japan? I guess?

Does she really eat all of this? Let me skip to the end. No. About 1/4 of this stuff is left. Maybe 1/3. And she got drunk from this glass of 5% alcohol “hard seltzer”. Earlier in the video, she talks about the duality of man. Or something. It’s somehow related to the “me too” movement. She really sticks that pickle in her mouth. She inhales that thing.

Let me try the taco one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PALobdYXlk

I think she’s in a chair this time. Tacos look alright. Decent portion. She only has four.

Oh, I just noticed that she fixed her teeth at some point during this eight years. She used to have a large gap between her front teeth.

Here’s her Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Allaunira

She says that she’s on Twitch but there’s no link to any Twitch shit.

Oh. She’s from California. Imagine that. Somebody who’s into all kinds of wacky shit being from California.

Anyway, perhaps a glimpse into the future. How long before Bobdunga is eating foot long meatball subs for our “enjoyment”? Or Retro Ali is tucking into a pile of angus burgers?

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