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Random Glitch in Vampire Survivors! #shorts – Erin Plays
I…what? I don’t even know what to say about this. NOTHING HAPPENS!
Let’s look at her Twitter.
She’s proud of this video. We can expect more delicious shorts from Erin Plays. Not the kind of shorts that she wore in the Power Pad video but the kind of pointless bullshit shorts that she uploads to Youtube.
She doesn’t have a clue. She doesn’t know what an entertaining video is supposed to look like. Or even a coherent video.
ShiShi leaves a message complaining about the video. He doesn’t like shorts. Not these kind of shorts anyway. And I don’t blame him one bit. Shorts suck dick. Especially Erin’s shorts. The Youtube shorts. But I fucking hate them. What’s the point of them? It’s just a regular Youtube video but less than 60 seconds long and you can’t rewind or fast forward. So…why would I want this? It’s a downgrade from a normal Youtube video.
When even Shishi is complaining about the videos, you know that there’s a serious problem. And only like two other people replied to this video on Twitter and Youtube COMBINED. So people hate this shit. They don’t want to see it. And the video was unbelievably pointless.
So what else is our retro gaming all-star talking about Twitter?
Hey guys! Did you hear about Taylor Swift?
No, Erin. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about and I don’t give a shit.
This is a stealth ad. She’s 100% getting paid for this and not declaring this information anywhere, which is surely against Twitter’s policies if not also US federal law. She’s shilled for this Numskull company many, many times. CLEARLY an ad. Not mentioned anywhere.
Only one person replied because even the horntards are wise to this shit.
Erin is concerned that Twitter is going to shut down or something. So she gives her Linktree so people can still follow her completely banal musings.
She’s on Tumblr. No messages there.
She’s on Mastodon. No messages there either.
Good stuff, Erin.
God, her “merch” is so unbelievably bad. Do not get Bitch Duo to design your “merch”. I’ll just say that. I don’t care that he did it for free. It looks like shit. Why are these the designs that he came up with? Some weird VHS magnetic tape and a 3.5″ disc with no protective metal sleeve on it? What the fuck does this have to do with Erin Plays?
I talk about Erin’s horrendous “merch” here:
Anyway, fuck Erin and her boring ass shit.
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I’m doing a running commentary of the AVGN autobiography on Reddit
Spoiler: it’s a fucking disaster so far. And I’m only at the forward. The forward was written by his WIFE!
Anyway, check it out if you’re interested:
I’ll do a full review on the blog after I read the book.
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This Beach Resort has a VIDEO GAME CONVENTION?! – John Riggs
Let’s see how much John Riggs eats while his poor wife is left home with the deeply troubled kids.
He’s in Florida. I don’t why he didn’t just put that in the title instead of this weak attempt at click bait. “Really Rad Weekend” is the name of this nerd convention.
0:30 – John Riggs tries to get a squirrel to run up his leg. What? Why? They’re diseased. And has he never seen a squirrel before? They must have them in Washington.
0:45 – Yeah. Before we even get to the nerd convention, they stopped to get something to eat. They’re at McGuire’s Irish Pub. It’s so sad that “Irish Pub” is used to name bars in the US. I’ve seen it myself. There’s nothing Irish about these places. The proprietor isn’t Irish. The staff aren’t Irish. None of the customers are Irish. And in this case, McGuire isn’t even an Irish name. So why not call the place something else? Anything else? Just take the words “Irish” and “pub” out of it. Call it “McGuire’s Tavern” You’re done. That was easy.
Then John Riggs asks what the “green thing” on the end of his straw is. That’s how you know you’re in an Irish pub, you fucking retard. They put unnecessary green shit in your drinks. Just like how they do it in Ireland.
1:00 – John Riggs eats this green thing, not knowing what it is. He doesn’t give a fuck. If it looks edible, he’ll eat it.
1:15 – Then he shows the ceiling. It’s covered in dollar bills. Just like in Ireland.
Oh, I should have mentioned what John Riggs is drinking. Root beer. Root beer is all the rage in Ireland.
In all seriousness, root beer does not exist in any form in Ireland or the UK or anywhere outside of the US and Canada, as far as I’m aware.
3:30 – There’s like a nine year old girl doing “caricatures” for donations. So John Riggs gets one done and…I mean…I know that she’s nine years old but…this looks like shit. She spent two seconds on this. It’s just a scribble. I never ask for my money back for anything but in this case, I’d make an exception.
4:45 – John Riggs is talking to some fat chick in a stupid costume about a “potato restaurant”. So this is really combining a lot of John Riggs’ interests: perving on the ladies and food.
11:00 – Some guy is showing John Riggs some salted snacks and John Riggs is getting really excited.
13:00 – Now John Riggs is drinking something. Some “craft beer”.
13:45 – So after drinking that beer, John Riggs does his panel. There are maybe ten people at this panel. The panel topic is so fucking stupid that I won’t even say what it is.
And he devoted about 15 seconds of this video to the panel. Even though this was the whole reason for him going. Well, theoretically this was the reason. The real reason was to escape his wife and family, try to have sex with fat chicks with blue hair, and eat a lot of food.
16:00 – John Riggs is cosplaying as…I don’t know. Some character from Mega Man. And he talks about how awesome it is to walk around in public like this. Any normal person would be highly embarrassed but not John Riggs.
So he was the “MC” of some “cosplay contest” but he doesn’t even show any of the fucking costumes. He was too busy jerking off to fat chicks with blue hair dressed in slutty anime and video game costumes.
16:45 – Now John Riggs is looking for food. This is what he does. If he’s not eating, he’s looking for things to eat.
So they’re at some bar/restaurant thing and John Riggs orders a pink drink with a couple of other fellows who also ordered pink drinks. Uh huh. Will you boys be sharing a hotel room as well?
19:00 – There’s footage of John Riggs selling his shitty cereal book that’s just full of copyrighted pictures. The customers are all great big fat guys who never had sex with a woman.
20:00 – John Riggs is eating a chocolate bar.
Now he’s looking at half a pizza.
21:00 – John Riggs is talking to the world’s most obnoxious gay man.
22:30 – John Riggs creeping on some skank nerd in a costume.
YupKat. This woman brings shame to her family for a thousand generations. You have to REALLY try to be a fat Asian woman. And then she’s in this stupid fucking costume to try to get a date with these corpulent nerds.
https://www.instagram.com/yupkat
What the fuck? Is this even a woman? I think it’s a guy. Can we get some birth pronouns, please? Yeah. This has to be a guy. Well, John Riggs would still have sex with it.
I don’t know. The voice sounds convincingly feminine. What the fuck.
My policy is, if I can’t be sure if it’s a man or a woman, I play it safe and move on.
23:15 – Some nerd is selling crocheted boobs. He working his way up to making an entire crocheted girlfriend.
Oh, it’s actually a woman who made these. A real woman? Now I don’t know what to believe after that last man/woman. I’m questioning everything.
John Riggs actually bought these crocheted boobs. They’re boobs on one side and some weird face on the other side. So…like if you had boobs on the back of your head. And were some kind of flower-person. Is this a reference to something or just this woman’s insane crocheted fantasy?
26:15 – We’re in the home stretch now. John Riggs is eating. He’s in some bar/restaurant. He seems to really like bar/restaurants. He’s there with an Asian…man? I assume it’s a man. But maybe it isn’t. Who can tell any more? Is John Riggs a man? I don’t know.
Oh, it’s a Japanese restaurant. It’s called McGuire’s Sushi and Steaks. Wasn’t that “Irish pub” also McGuire’s? Yeah. McGuire must be multi-racial. He’s Irish. He’s Japanese. He’s Scottish.
John Riggs says that he’s never had a wagyu filet mignon. Wow. A food that John Riggs has never had before. This is a rare occurrence. So he says that he’s going to split this with his Japanese friend. Like a gay man.
I mean, this is $50 so I understand that it’s expensive but…just don’t get it then. Order something else. Don’t split the meal like a fucking homosexual. Are you going to feed it to each other too? He actually did this earlier in the video.
27:15 – Here’s footage of Nintendrew (whoever that is) in a FLAMING gay suit. Who would go out in public like this? Even John Riggs called him out on this earlier in the video.
27:30 – So they ate the meal. Right. It was filet mignon. And then right after they ate the meal, John Riggs and his homosexual buddies went to that Irish pub and did Irish stuff. Like getting your fortune told by a mechanical leprechaun. And drinking some green alcoholic beverage.
And John Riggs is there with that world’s most obnoxious faggot who we saw earlier in the video.
John Riggs is eating an entire other meal. A “mushroom pie” and that Japanese guy gave him John Riggs some of his Irish sushi. HOW MUCH FOOD CAN JOHN RIGGS EAT? Two fucking meals back to back?
The video ends with John Riggs at the beach, watching the tide come and go, while contemplating suicide. He’s slowly trying to eat himself to death. It’s just sad.
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DAWN OF THE DEAD 3D. A new dimension of the GREATEST zombie movie EVER – Newt Wallen
0:00 – What is he drinking? I’ll have to go frame by frame.
Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Right? But it’s orange. Let me look this up.
I think it’s the Hard Strawberry Lemonade.
I never had one of these. I didn’t get it. In high school, people would talk about them like it’s some sort of alcoholic drink. And the website does ask you if you’re over 21. What exactly are these things?
Oh, it couldn’t have been high school because these were released in 1999 and I was out of high school by then.
Alcopop? These are for women. Women and children. I mean, come on. He’s drinking a pink beverage. There’s your first clue that this shit isn’t for men.
The company is based in Levittown, Pennsylvania. That sounds familiar. Wasn’t it some town created by a company?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levittown,_Pennsylvania
Yeah. And it’s in Bucks County, homeplace of Screenwave Media. Who knew?
Levittown was some kind of experiment, wasn’t it? Or it was always used as an example of an average American town. Let me fucking skim this article.
Residents (who are sometimes called Levittowners) were first expected to comply with a lengthy list of rules and regulations regarding the upkeep of their homes and use of their property. Two of these “rules” included a prohibition on hanging laundry out to dry on Sunday and not allowing homeowners to fence off their yards. These proved unenforceable over time, particularly when backyard pools became financially accessible to the working class and privacy concerns drove many to fence off their yards
You need a fence in order to have a pool? And how would have even give you any privacy?
As a kid, there were rumours that neighbours way across street would swim naked. So I’d sometimes sneak over to a little window that looked out over their pool with a monocular. Never saw anything. Never even saw them swimming with swimsuits on. But you’d live in hope.
“Levitt & Sons would not sell homes to African Americans.”
Maybe this is what I was thinking of. I knew there was some controversy or something.
Anyway, Newt is reviewing this movie in his kitchen. Do I want to watch this? Not really. Isn’t learning about Levittown more interesting than listening to Newt talk about some fucking shitty horror movie? And for 25 minutes? Come on. Have some respect for your audience.
He recently reviewed Terrifier 2 for fucking 90 minutes. It was with PVC Bondage Girl. He split it into two parts. I didn’t watch any of the first video and I watched about 17 minutes of the second video. There was some cringe stuff in there, including Newt talking about hard his penis gets, but I’m going to do a whole fucking review on this? That means that I have to watch the video. Ninety minutes of two mentally ill people talking about a tits and gore movie? There’s no chance. I’m not doing that.
So this video is 25 minutes. I’ll give you five minutes, Newt. Say something interesting in five minutes or I’m turning this shit off.
0:15 – He saw the movie with Karl Bower. You guys all know Karl Bower, right? No? Well, according to Newt, he’s a big time film maker. Newt is besties with him on Facebook.
0:45 – This guy called Newt “The Ed Wood of Youtube”.
No, I’m sticking with The Ideas Man. There’s just something funny about Newt being called The Ideas Man. Because the man has no ideas whatsoever. It’s like calling a fat guy “slim” or something. There’s a certain cruelty to it but it’s also funny. I’m sorry.
2:45 – “I’m from New Jersey. We love our fucking malls there.”
Oh. This is something unique to New Jersey, you think? New Jersey is the mall capital of the world? I have no idea. You learn so much from watching these videos.
Okay, that’s your five minutes up, Newt. I’m moving on. Tits and gore. We get it.
Let’s check out his Twitter, I guess.
Oh, he has a picture of him with Horseface. She’s not looking good. But she’s wearing half a top, of course. Trying to distract you from the face. You know what else can distract people from your face? Having a pleasant personality. Try it out, Horseface.
The 9,613 Subscriber Spectacular! Thanks for the update, Newt.
He talks about the death of Kevin Conroy. You guys all know Kevin Conroy, right? I sure as fuck don’t.
What about fucking Gallagher? Why no shout out for the death of Gallagher? That man was a comedy genius.
My mother used to watch his comedy special “Stuck in the 60s” at least four times every weekend when they’d endlessly show it on Comedy Central back in “the 90s”. So I know all about Gallagher. He wasn’t just about watermelons. He had a whole fucking act. That watermelon nonsense was just the grand finale.
People compare Gallagher to Carrot Top or prop comedians like this. But no. He had some props, sure. But most of his act was a real think piece. He’d be doing George Carlin style social commentary.
Kevin Conroy. Fuck you. Newt is over here boohooing over this guy who he never mentioned even one time in his entire fucking life.
“Waaaaaaa! He was my favorite fictional character.”
Fuck off. What are you? Seven years old?
Who would my favorite fictional character be? Maybe Rerun from What’s Happening. How long has Fred Berry been dead. Wow. Since 2003. He had a tragic life in some respects, but he also accomplished a lot. And he brought a lot of joy into people’s lives. Hollywood will never improve on the What’s Happening episode where Rerun joined a cult.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei play a Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle NES Hack! (part 3 of 16)
I don’t care how long it takes me to finish this. I’m going to watch every single second of this video. It’s a goldmine of awkward behaviour. And Erin doesn’t know ANYTHING about ANYTHING. It’s great.
14:30 – Mike, as Bugs Bunny, says that he can’t take a bath because Ernie is always in there. Erin says, “Ernie’s in there all the time and I can’t get him out…Erin tries too.”
You know…because this isn’t Erin. She remembered that she was in “costume”. She’s Lola Bunny. The world’s worst fucking costume.
I just can’t understand why she puts so little effort into everything. I put more effort into my Halloween costumes as a child. If I was one of these freaks who dressed up as an adult on Halloween, I’d put the fucking effort in. I’d spend the money on quality shit. Not so for Zero Effort Erin. Just get some bunny ears and a basketball jersey. You’re done.
The conversation ends awkwardly, of course, and then Erin says, “Oh my god. What’s that dog’s name?”
Erin “always” “forgets” the name of this obscure cartoon character.
Mike didn’t even know so maybe the character doesn’t even have a name. I think it’s the dog from some Foghorn Leghorn cartoons. Did he have a name? Let me look this up.
Barnyard Dawg. Yeah, that was never mentioned in any cartoon. That’s just the name that was used by the writers and animators and whatnot. I only remember Foghorn Leghorn beating his ass with a two by four. It’s probably what Mike did to Erin after this stream. “Well, I carried your shitty stream as usual. Now it’s time to pay the piper.”
16:30 – Erin stuffing an entire tissue up her nose. This is sexy. This is my fetish.
18:15 – Mike says, “My ears are very sensitive” and then starts stroking his ears. Erin says, “They are. Like a Ferengi.”
I’m surprised that she made a relevant reference. Mike must have recently made her watch some Deep Space Nine episodes.
18:30 –
Mike: What a maroon.
Erin. Maroon is a song on the new Taylor Swift album.
Two things. 1) She didn’t get the reference because she has no idea who Bugs Bunny is. 2) These are the only sort of references that she can make. Braindead 2000s pop music bullshit that nobody gives a shit about.
Is Mike going to start talking about Taylor Swift now? He doesn’t know who this is.
Erin: And I like it
(nervous laughter as Mike doesn’t respond to any of this)
Mike: Taylor Swift is great.
Now Mike is just doing the same thing that Erin does to EVERYTHING that she doesn’t know about. He’s just giving a generic response because he doesn’t know or care about Taylor Swift.
20:30 – Mike starts doing his annoying “nyaaaaaaa” thing that he did in the AVGN episode, I think. Then Erin says, “Yeah, and doctors can’t figure out why I have, like, crippling stress and anxiety.”
It’s not that they can’t figure it out, it’s that they’re disputing that you have any such afflictions. Same with your fake carpal tunnel syndrome. It took her literally over ten years before she found some quack doctor who would go along with this farce. And even now, I’m not convinced that she found a doctor to sign off on these lies. Where are the nerve tests? Over a year ago, Erin said that she got nerve tests done and she would let us all know what the results are. She never showed the results.
Stress and anxiety. Fuck you. Stress from what? Not working? Getting fucked in the ass for Youtube promotion? These were your decisions, Erin. You actively sought this out. This is exactly what you wanted to do with you life: NOTHING. If you don’t like it, try doing something. Mike isn’t keeping you in a cage, is he? Go back to mommy and daddy in California and see if your job at the record store is still available. Your Youtube scam is not working. It will NEVER work.
20:45 – Erin bumps into this wall for the third fucking time. I get it. It looks like you should be able to pass by this wall. But you can’t. It didn’t work the first two times, did it? Why can’t she remember this?
21:30 – Mike says, “Can you think of any other video games where characters go down pipes?”
No time for brain teasers, Mike. Just let Erin concentrate on the game.
24:15 – Mike is identifying an enemy in the game.
Mike: I believe that that’s Sylvester the Cat’s child.
Erin: Yes. Oh my god. Yeah. What was his name from Tiny Toons?
Mike: No. Not from Tiny Toons. From the old Looney Tunes cartoons.
Erin. Oh, I don’t know. I liked Tiny Toons a lot when I was little but I haven’t watched it since.
Mike: I was a teacher at that school.
(Erin is oblivious)
Erin: Oh…at the Tiny Toons school?
Yes, Erin. You remember? The intro to the cartoon showed Bugs Bunny teaching at the school. You don’t remember this? They showed this before every fucking episode. It was also the premise of the show. The old characters are teaching the new characters in some kind of school. Acme Looniversity, I believe it was called. It was in the fucking theme song.
Erin “always” “forgets” that Bugs Bunny was a teacher at Acme Looniversity. She also “always” “forgets” about Sylvester Junior.
25:15 – Some horntard is asking about Freakazoid. Whatever that is. I had to look it up. Some short-lived cartoon from the 1990s.
Mike: I think that you should do a top ten Freakazoid episodes.
Erin: I mean, I probably should. (awkward pause) I’ve never watched it too much.
So why should you probably do a video on the top ten episodes of the show? She says that she should probably do a top ten video on a show that she’s never fucking seen before. Why? It’s preposterous.
But this is what she does with video games. She knows absolutely nothing about video games but then she’ll do a top ten video about videos games. It’s idiotic.
26:00 –
Mike: Remember AOL?
Erin: Yeah. I like AOL. I miss AOL.
What do you miss about it Erin? What did you like about it? Tell us. We want to know. Can you expand on ANYTHING or do you just continue to give generic answers to everything because you don’t know anything about anything? I’m thinking it’s the latter.
26:45 – A horntard asks, “Remember the 100 free hours CDs you got in the mail?” Erin says, “Yes.”
Good contribution, Erin. Do you have any stories that you can tell about these CDs? The packaging used to be really plain, like a cardboard sleeve, but then started upping the production value by using little tins. See? I gave a little story to go along with that AOL CD question. This is what you should be doing in these streams. Not just “yes/no” or “I like it” or “I remember that”. That’s fucking boring. Nobody wants to hear that.
She can’t do it because she doesn’t know anything about anything. She doesn’t remember these fucking CDs. She was locked in her empty room all day and fed gruel.
27:15 – Then she gives a long, meanderingly, go-nowhere story about how much she liked Myspace and LiveJournal as a kid. Just that she liked these things. That’s it. Then she starts talking about how Justin Timberlake bought MySpace and was going to re-brand it.
What? First of all, this is another example of Erin only being able to talk about shitty 2000s pop music.
But did this even happen? Oh. It did happen. But yeah, this is all that Erin can talk about. Justin Timberlake. You guys like Justin Timberlake, right?
No. I’m a heterosexual man. I didn’t listen to that shit. I’m certainly not listening to it now. It’s 2022. Get with the times, Erin.
29:45 – A horntard asks, “Is there an AVGN poster?” Erin says, “Yes. Those exist.”
Great commentary, Erin. Do you maybe want to take us through what the current AVGN posters look like? Where can I buy one? How much are they?
She doesn’t know anything about this shit. So it’s just more generic bullshit.
30:45 – “I’m going to ruin my costume. I’m going to put on a hoodie because I’m chilly.”
How much more can that costume possibly be ruined?
We can stop here. I’m at 31 minutes. It shouldn’t take 16 parts to do this. Because I watched seven minutes the first time, seven minutes the second time, but a whopping 17 minutes this time. So we’re making progress.
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What 4Chan Thinks of the GamerGrrls Blog and TheCinemassacreTruth Subreddit
https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/
Feel free to do your own searches.
Somebody posted the above. It’s a quote from one of my articles. So somebody else replies with, “based jocorobo.” JocoRobo was a name I used on Reddit.
Here’s another one:
Same comment. “based jocorobo”. Based, if you’re unaware with the youth vernacular of today, means somebody who isn’t afraid to tell the truth even if said truth is unpopular.
- “Anyone have a link to Jocorobo’s blog where he writes daily essays on Erin Plays videos?”
Somebody provides the link. Somebody else replies with “Jocorobo is based.”
There’s a pattern here. But it’s at least two people writing this because this second guy is using capitalisation.
Somebody posts a comment that ISN’T mine and says, “is that based jocorobo?”
- “ERIN CHADS…. /our girl/ hasn’t uploaded in quite a while…. i’m WORRIED bros…”
Somebody replies with, “JOCOROBO BROS… we won!”
Somebody posts the following quote from an article I wrote:
Somebody else replies, “based jocorobo”
Somebody posts my banner art from the blog. Somebody else says “kino”. “Kino” is a term that means “epic” or “grand”. They’re praising the high calibre of the art.
Then somebody says, “the truther trannies took over his subreddit and wiped it clean”
This is a reference to some obsessed gay man registering my GamerGrrls sub-reddit, which was long abandoned, and didn’t have any content on it because Madam Fomo filed false copyright strikes on everything. So I didn’t even care.
But somebody replies, “i love jocorobo for causing so much seethe”
Somebody links to the GamerGrrls sub, before this gay man took it over, and all the articles were just removed because of Madam Fomo, as explained above. He says, “Talking shit about e-girls is forbidden”. All of the articles had “removed by Reddit” on them.
So somebody replies, “GamerGrrls blog is based He’s a 40 year old man that bangs cute black girls and he gets mad if you comment ‘sneed’”
Somebody says of Erin, “she’s already given up” in reference to her making very few Youtube videos nowadays.
Somebody replies, “I love reading the gamergrrls blogs about her videos but I’ve never actually watched one.”
Somebody links to my posts about The OverAnalyzers and excrement. These articles:
Somebody replies, “BASED.”
These comments all span 2020 to 2022. Here’s a thread from a few weeks ago when people were concerned that the blog got shut down:
- “shame”
- “NOOOOOO. I only have a few screenshots. god I fucking hate reddit”
- “Wait, this is vaguely familiar. Wtf happened”
Somebody posts another screenshot of an article I wrote:
People theorise why the blog was shut down.
- truther trannies got so upset they got his blog removed
- hate those faggots
So somebody says, “Wrong. He closed it himself and moved it to wordpress.”
- “Do you know why?”
- “Something about not liking the comment section on his old blog or something.”
It’s true. The comment system on WordPress is leagues better. There’s an obsessed, homosexual, retarded, mentally ill, hillbilly from Reddit who has sent me thousands of death and rape threats on the blog. This is why I moved the blog. But now it’s bliss. All of his shit goes straight to the trash. I don’t even see it. I know that he’s still posting this shit because I see the trash count go up but I never even have to look at it. The filter system is great.
So I got all of this from search terms like “jocorobo” and “gamergrrls” and “gamergrrlsofficial”. Overwhelmingly positive. Yeah, there were a couple of minor rebukes saying that I have too much time on my hands and I’m autistic but those were outliers. And even those comments aren’t really insulting. “Hey, this guy is putting too much effort into this.” Who cares? It’s kind of a compliment.
The vast, vast majority of the comments were positive. People love the blog.
So now let’s search for “cinemassacretruth”.
Ummm…I’m not sure that I should post these comments.
A lot of references to the people there being homosexuals.
Very hostile comments to the people who post there.
Oh, here’s one that I can post.
- “I love watching confused mentally ill wrecks post their problems for the public to see. That said, you CinemassacreTruth guys are pathetic. I cannot imagine basing a significant amount of your personality on sperging because someone is too busy to make videos for you to consoom. Amazing combination of entitlement and autism.”
By the way, when they’re talking about “CinemassacreTruth” they’re actually talking about TheCinemassacreTruth. Not my sub which is called “CinemassacreTruth”.
- “oh boy its r/cinemassacretruth again”
He’s being sarcastic. He doesn’t like the sub. And again, he’s talking about THECinemassacreTruth.
- “All the most melodramatic negativity is literally cinemassacretruth tourists. Back when James threads started picking up after TGWTG imploded it was good-natured mockery of the channel with lots of OC. Then around like 2019 when the that community picked up in popularity the threads here started to get less funny and original and more just low-energy and bitchy and using the same crappy memes from there like “bimmy” over and over again.”
Yeah. This is what normal people think of the sub.
Somebody left a Youtube comment recently suggesting that TheCinemassacreTruth is like QAnon. It’s true. That place welcomes clearly insane people and it fosters an increasingly unhealthy, dangerous environment. See for example that guy who stalked Kieran with messages about his deceased father, that guy who left angry, aggressive voice mails on Screenwave’s answering machines, and this lunatic who sends me rape and death threats every day for over a year. This behaviour is all welcomed and encouraged there.
And for what? You don’t like the Youtube videos? So don’t fucking watch them. Yeah, they’re bad. The videos are bad. If you want to write about how bad they are, okay. But you don’t have to start stalking people over this. You don’t have to repeat the same three unfunny “memes” like a mental patient. You don’t have to keep making catty comments about people’s appearance.
- “Cinemassacretruth losers back to their old autistic games but with RLM”
- “It’s an ESL permavirgin from /r/Cinemassacretruth tries to be funny and fails miserably just like does in real life and then sits in his filth hating himself but acting like he doesn’t while being a friendless loser that deep down knows he is going to die unloved and alone thread”
- “You’re a (mentally-challenged) (homosexual slur) and the only “drama behind the scenes” is made up by you and the other /r/Cinemassacretruth truth (mental health slur). You are as transparent as you are a fucking (mentally challenged) (racial slur). I suggest you (harm yourself).”
I had to censor that last one.
- “It’s /r/Cinemassacretruth losers that are far bigger losers than him and even the lardgolems he works for. They are unironically the most pathetic people on the internet.”
I think that we get the picture. By the way, I wasn’t cherry picking. The comments were almost 100% negative in regards to TheCinemassacreTruth. Extremely negative.
Let me search for “TheCinemassacreTruth”.
Much the same. Oh, somebody posted something that I wrote:
And the guy says, “Reminder this is how r/TheCinemassacreTruth came to be”
It’s true. That’s the origin of TheCinemassacreTruth.
So let’s get into some specifics in regards to this homosexual stuff. The guy who took my GamerGrrls sub is called “icem6n”. This guy also aggressively advertised my CinemassacreTruth sub when I started it. He was complaining about it. He was always reporting comments and trying to get it taken down. He constantly tries to get me banned. He started a harassment forum where him and some other obsessed mentally ill people just talk about me (including that deranged hillbilly who sends me death and rape threats).
Here’s the thing. Icem6n is openly gay. It’s not a secret. He’ll tell you.
And there’s nothing wrong with this. I don’t care that he’s gay. I don’t care that anybody on TheCinemassacreTruth is gay or transgender or whatever.
My issue is the harassment. And a lot of the harassment is clearly gay. They’ll make Photoshopped pictures of James and Mike and the Screenwave crew to look like women, for example. This is a very common thing that happens there. Or they’ll make “memes” commenting on how people are overweight or bald or whatever. These are the sort of things that catty gay men do.
So when I say, “Hey, this harassment is…frankly…gay” these people get offended by this. Why? What I’m saying is accurate.
And some of the people doing this stuff are OPENLY gay. Why would they be offended?
It’s like if I went to a sub-reddit that had gay porn on it. And I said, “What the fuck? This shit is pretty gay.”
Nobody would be offended. They’d just be confused. “Of course it’s gay. We’re gay men. We like looking at naked men. What’s wrong with you?”
Why don’t I get the same reaction when I point out the obvious homosexual nature of TheCinemassacreTruth?
Look at these comments from 4Chan. These are normal people making normal observations about the sub-reddit and they’ve reached the exact same conclusion that I have: the people there are gay. They’re doing gay stuff.
Cool. They’re gay. That’s fine. Just admit it. Admit that what you’re doing is: a) gay and; b) harassment. That’s all I ask. And it’s blindingly obvious that this is what’s happening there.
There was a guy who posted there recently. He said something like, “Hey. Long time lurker. First time poster. I really like what you’re doing here” and then he posted some stupid “meme” bullshit about James not having time or whatnot.
So I clicked this guy’s posting history and there were pictures of him with his cock out and he had some deeply unpleasant man boobs. He was transgender.
I mean…okay. You do you. But can we just acknowledge that this is a sub-reddit for gay and/or transgender men to do harassing bullshit? This is how the subreddit was founded and this is how it’s been all through its history.
It was never about having an uncensored place to talk about Cinemassacre. First of all that place is MASSIVELY censored. But no, the sub was started because a handful of gay men wanted to talk about Mike Matei’s penis. That’s it. That’s the genesis of the sub. And it was started by a transgender high school boy.
There’s literally a picture of Mike’s penis on the sidebar of the sub.
There’s literally a picture of the Screenwave crew as The Village People on the sidebar.
Many of the people who post there are openly gay. Many of the people who post there post stuff that is clearly gay.
Can we not just state the obvious? TheCinemassacreTruth exists for homoerotic harassment. Everybody knows it. Any non-mentally ill person who stumbles upon that forum will reach the exact same conclusion. Look at the responses on 4Chan.
Again, I want to stress that I have absolutely no problem with people being gay. But come out of the closet, TheCinemassacreTruth. Be proud of what you are: a homoerotic harassment board.
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Man-Thing is The Marvel Horror Movie You Forgot About! – Tony from Hack The Movies
Oh, the terrible and awkward MintSalad is the guest host this time. What has she been doing lately? I haven’t checked out her Twitter or Fansly in ages.
https://twitter.com/itsmintsalad
Her banner says, “Being autistic doesn’t mean I lack agency.”
Then why keep mentioning that you’re autistic? Most people with autism who don’t want people talking about it or treating them differently, don’t fucking advertise that they have autism. But she’s CONSTANTLY talking about how she’s autistic. It’s her entire personality, such as it is.
It’s the same on her Fansly. I won’t link directly to it but it’s on her Linktree.
https://linktr.ee/titsmintsalad
“I’m Mint, I’m 22 and I am autistic!”
Nobody gives a shit. Not one person.
And she is posting CONSTANTLY on this thing. More than once a day, every day. That fat pimp is really working her.
In one of these, she’s wearing a shirt that says, “Fuck off. I’m autistic.”
Ummm…I think that we get it. Why are you constantly telling us that you’re autistic? Who the fuck knows? Just for the attention, I guess.
Stefan70 says, “Super sexy. Whenever I see these photos, I get hard instantly. It takes less than 2 minutes for me to cum to these photos. LOL”
Wow. Really? To this shit? As a 52 year old man? It’s impressive, in a way. I guess. There’s no way that I could even get a semi over this shit.
Oh, she’s also going topless now too. As here:
It’s the moment a lot of y’all been waiting for hehe, I’m finally showing my nipples for the first time! November 1st is my 22nd birthday and on my birthday I’ll be dm’ing you THIS super cute bat-mint boobie pic from today’s EXTRA SPICY set completely uncensored so you can see my batnips in all their symbolic glory!
After this I’ll be a lot more open to custom requests with topless nudity so if that’s interesting to you, keep an eye out and hit me up! Have a good day/nightDoes anybody want this? I guess that people are paying for this but…I don’t get it.
She also posts really, really awful movie reviews every day on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/c/ASEPresents/videos
Her pimp doesn’t even do anything any more. He used to make Youtube videos but he doesn’t do it any more. He just makes Mint Salad do everything now.
Nobody at Screenwave has any problem with this. Not Tony, not Horseface, not Johanna. Nobody. They’re enablers of forced prostitution. Mint Salad is clearly a vulnerable person, she mentions that she’s autistic a hundred times a day, she had a bad childhood, her parents died or were drug addicts or something so she was raised by foster parents. And she clearly has a pimp. They’re all promoting this. They’re complete degenerates.
0:15 – But first a word from the degenerate Tony from Hack the Movies. He’s looking for “holiday gifts.” Which holiday? He’s wearing a Santa hat. There’s a fir tree in the background. So…Ōmisoka? He’s looking for Ōmisoka gifts?
1:15 – Mint Salad says that she does movie reviews every day. And this looks like a hostage interview. But Tony just moves on. He doesn’t ask any questions. “Why are you doing movie reviews every day? Is your pimp putting you up to this?”
No. Just ignore it. Ignore the people trafficking. Of an autistic woman.
4:15 – Tony gives a vague reference to Mint Salad doing porn. You want to mention the pimping at all, Tony? No. Just ignore the fact that this is an autistic woman being pimped out by some fat fuck.
I’m reading the comments because I’m already bored with this. Somebody asks if Mint Salad is doing a “bit”. Tony replies, “She is autistic and Hack The Movies is super inclusive.”
Why keep mentioning that she’s autistic? And why no mention of the forced prostitution?
- “She’s terrible…. Can’t watch these episodes with her”
- Ugh. I hate to say it, but this video was pretty rough. I’m sorry, but Mint Salad can be very annoying to listen to. Conversation had awful flow — like trying to have an in-depth conversation with a 6 year old
- Where is Newt? How come you people never mention him anymore? Bunch of fake ass friends
Fired for plagiarism. Check out my 50 articles on Newt Wallen to learn more.
Actually, how many articles have I done on Newt? Is this easy to find out?
Seventy-one. Seventy-one articles tagged with “Newt Wallen.” That’s a lot.
7:00 – “I have to focus autistically on this.”
You say you’re autistic? I had no idea.
- This is the worst video you have ever put out.
I don’t know about that. I’m not going to listen to much more but I find Horseface WAY more annoying. Mint is actually talking about the movie.
So I’m going to stop here. I made it to 16 minutes. It’s pretty much unwatchable. Like all of Tony’s videos from the past year or so. Around the time when they got rid of Newt. Nobody wants to watch an hour long movie review. Even if the people are charismatic, which they clearly are not in this case.
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Working as a Substitute Teacher
After the casino and mental asylum jobs, I continued to look for work but couldn’t find anything. All of this student loan money was gone and it was getting to the point where I wasn’t going to be able to pay the rent and whatnot. So with massive reluctance, I moved back to my childhood home.
I won’t get into it but I hated living there. I hated it since high school. I couldn’t wait to get out. And now I had to be there again.
I was getting massive bills from the student loan companies. More than what I had been paying in rent. And it was all for this fucking scam school. One year.
I was never going to pay this off. Not with the jobs that I was doing. And I wasn’t working at all at this time.
I became massively depressed and started thinking about ways to get out of this. But in the meantime, I also had to find a job.
So I applied to a place that I worked at, part-time, while in college. No reply. I applied to every job I could find on the internet. I must have been really desperate because I even remember getting a response back from a “recruiter” who wanted me to pay something like $30 for him to get me a job. And I actually considered that. But it was obviously a scam, and even at the time I knew this, but I was really desperate.
I applied to a police department. This was sort of my plan at one point. That’s why I took the job as a security guard. So I saw a place that was hiring, I filled in the online application and that was that.
I got a reply at some point asking me to come in to do the written test. You had to take a written test first and if you passed that, you’d be invited to take the physical test. You had to do a certain number of push ups and sit ups in a minute and shit like this.
So I started working out. Trying to get huge.
I drove hours to take this test. It was nowhere near me. It was two states over. I get to the test room, it’s like theatre or university seating where the seats are higher as you go towards the back. There might have been 100 people there. Something like this.
It was a reading comprehension and vocabulary test. You needed a 40% to pass and get moved on to the physical test.
So I’m taking the test and thinking, “Wow. I know all of this shit.” There were a few vocabulary questions that I had to kind of guess on but I was able to give educated guesses. Certainly, I got 40%. No problem. I turn the test in and I’m feeling great.
I mean, 40%? Come on. You’d have to be a fucking retard to get a 40% on this thing. I’m a shoo in to go to the next part of the exam process. I just have to keep working out. Doing those push ups and sit ups.
A week later, I get the exam results. I got a 99% on the test. Holy shit. That’s way better than 40%. Nearly two and a half times as good.
Next day, I get a letter thanking me for attending but that they won’t be proceeding with my application.
What? A 99% isn’t good enough? They’re only taking people who got 100%? Wasn’t 40% the cut off?
So I called them up. There was a number on the letter if you wanted to talk to somebody about their decision.
The guy says, “We just didn’t think that you had enough work experience.”
What? Then why did you invite me to take the written test in the first place? You knew how much work experience I had. If you didn’t think I had enough work experience, you wouldn’t have done that. This was all part of the application process. They didn’t invite everybody to take this written test. It was only people who they were potentially interested in hiring.
They didn’t progress me to the next part of the process because I scored too well on the written test. That’s the actual reason. It’s well known that police departments will refuse candidates who score too well. There was a lawsuit about this 30 years ago. It’s what they do.
So I gave up on that idea. I’m not going to bang my head against a wall until I’m dumb enough to fall within the preferred parameters of this test.
Back at home. Really depressed. These enormous student loan bills keep coming every month. How am I going to get out of this?
I have to get out of the country. It’s that or suicide because I can’t fucking pay this loan back. I’m thinking about this shit every day. I’m going to be a slave to this loan for the rest of my life. And for what? I went to a scam school for one fucking year? This isn’t right.
Teaching English in Asia. This is the easiest way to leave the country. From what I read, it seems like they hire anybody. If you’re under 30 and white, that’s preferred, so I was good there. And most countries just required a degree in anything. I had that. China didn’t even require that much. No education requirement to teach in China. This was the case 20 years ago, I don’t know about today.
So I started looking into this shit on Dave’s ESL Cafe, which is a website and message board. It still exists. I didn’t particularly want to go to Japan. It was just too cliche. But I read that Korea paid well so I was thinking maybe that would be good.
In any event, it was recommended that you have some teaching experience before you apply to these jobs. It was also recommended that you get some kind of English as a Foreign Language certification. Neither of these things were requirements but it helps. That certification looked like a scam. You pay some “company” fifty bucks or something, take a few online “courses”, take a “test” and then they give you the certification. Who cares? This means nothing.
But I looked for some teaching jobs. I sent my resume to the public school system that I went to as a student and applied for a job as a substitute teacher. And they said, yeah come to our office.
So I did that. It was a shitty little office for their administration. And they started putting me down in their schedule. Asking what days I can do and whatnot. I expected an interview but no. There was no interview. Anybody who’s willing to do this job for $70/day, they’ll take them.
I received no training. I wasn’t told what to do at all. One day, I just got a call in the morning saying, “Go to such and such school at whatever time”. Okay.
So I get there and I don’t know what I’m doing but it’s just babysitting. The teacher leaves a note of what they want done. Usually it’s just watch a movie. So you press play on the DVD and you’re done.
I did this for quite a while. It was nine months. It wasn’t so good at first but as time went on, and the students recognised me, things became easier and I started to enjoy it more. There were fewer behaviour problems.
You’d get sent to different schools in the district. The high schools were mostly fine. Except for the really ghetto one. This school was like 90% black and I’m not here to make racist comments but certain observations have to be made. Conclusions have to be drawn. It was shit. The behaviour of the students was dramatically worse. Not from everybody, of course, but I’m saying overall.
You had to ask a student to send the attendance slip to the principal’s office every day. You try to look for somebody responsible to do this. So I asked a girl in the front row if she would do this, she was black, almost everybody in the class was, and she gets up and she’s heavily pregnant. Oh fuck. I wouldn’t have asked if I knew. But she was fine with it. She went to the principal’s office and came back. No problems.
The middle schools were also bad. Really bad. All of them, regardless of the demographics of the students. And some of the schools were combined middle school and high school.
So I spoke to the people in the office who give the jobs out and said that I don’t want to work in middle schools. They said, “We don’t know which teachers teach middle school and which ones teach high school” which is preposterous. I knew. I knew from when I was a student at one of these schools. And if they don’t know, why don’t they just get a list?
So I said, “Okay, just don’t send me to any school that has a combined middle school and high school”, which meant that I would no longer go to the school where I was a student and where they sent me the most. The school was like 50% Mexican, 40% white, 10% black. It was fine. The high school wasn’t a problem, other than the odd problem with a certain demographic.
But I was able to go to this ghetto school that was 90% black because it was strictly a high school. Great.
They ended up giving me way less work after I complained about not wanting to go to schools that had middle schools. But I’d occasionally get a job at this ghetto school. They were all ghetto schools in the sense that the students were impoverished but when I’m saying “ghetto” here, I mean “black.”
One day, I just had enough. I spoke to the teacher who I was covering for, who was in school for some reason, and she said that it’s the worst class she’s ever had in 30 years of teaching. I don’t think that she was sick or anything, she was just taking time off to get away from them.
Personally, I found them reasonably manageable the first day (compared to the absolute chaos that I’d see in the middle schools) but on the second day, it was horrendous. Throwing shit at the one white kid in the class and shit like this. So I finished the day and decided that I was never going to do this again. The next time I got a call asking me to go to some school and I told them that I’m not interested and to take me off the list.
But I did it for nine months so I got a good run out of it. By the end, I was only working like one or two days a week so it wasn’t too bad in that sense. But I was still getting these massive student loan bills. Bills that were more than my entire paycheque.
So what was I doing for that nine months? Was I looking for work in Korea? Was I trying to get this scam certificate? No. None of that shit. Because I had discovered a better way to leave the country. I’ll discuss this in next week’s thrilling article.
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Happy Birthday to Erin Plays!
I’m now 35! I’ve felt more “myself” and more comfortable in my skin in my thirties than I ever did in my 20s. I don’t usually announce it’s my birthday but I figure 35 is a big one so whatever
Thirty-five years YOUNG, am I right? Negative thirty-five years old.
Thirty-five years totally wasted. What does she have to show for her life? That Britney Spears t-shirt? That god awful tattoo?
And if this is Erin when she’s “comfortable”, how insanely awkward must she have been in her 20s? She has no social skills. No job. No interests. No hobbies. She’s in this fake relationship. It’s an incredibly sad, pathetic, miserable life.
But let’s see what the horntards have to say.
Oh, Marcus is the top comment. Haven’t seen that guy in a while. I did a whole article on him here:
He wishes her a happy birthday and calls her “friendo”. Erin says, “thanks so much.” Because Erin is Marcus’ friend. There’s just so much warmth between the two of them.
Aw yeah. Joe from Gamesack replied. Let see what witty words of wisdom he has to share.
- “Twitter put moving balloons all over your profile today. Soon you’ll start getting AARP stuff in the mail. Exciting times!”
You card. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about but it sounds like it’s supposed to be funny. Chicks like funny guys, don’t they, Joe? Keep plugging away at Mike’s sugarbaby, you pathetic omega orbiter.
- “I was going to say my 20s WEREN’T awful, but honestly, yeah, they kind of were. It was a tumultuous time in a lot of ways. Got fired from some jobs, crashed and burned out of grad school, some heart break, some surgery. 30s hasn’t been perfect but it has felt more stable.”
A heartfelt summary of a difficult decade of this guy’s life. Erin replies with, “I know what you mean. Mine weren’t horrible either, but I like my brain better now lol. Thanks!”
What a fucking joke. She likes her “brain” better now. That’s the only difference between now and when Erin was in her 20s.
And it’s true, I guess. Erin did NOTHING in her 20s and she’s done NOTHING in her 30s. So there’s no change. And when you do nothing, life isn’t that bad. I guess. It’s just nothing. It’s a total waste. You can’t fail at things if you never try to do anything. But also, we see what this philosophy gets you in life. She’s getting fucked in the ass every night for Youtube promotion. She’s making fifty bucks a month from this.
- “35 through 40 was the besssssst time for me as a woman. So much adventure and self confidence”
Uh huh. How about now? She has a lot of pictures of her dog on her Twitter but not much else. No husband? Maybe the dog is the husband.
- “Happy Birthday beautiful!!!!!!!!”
That was from Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee. I’ll come back to this. But yeah, Horseface has to constantly talk about hot chicks. Why not just say, “Happy birthday”? Why comment on Erin’s appearance?
Because this is all part of Horseface’s narcissism. She thinks that if she calls everybody a hot chick, they’ll return the favour by calling her a hot chick. Not happening, Horseface.
Did you see this awful picture that she posted recently? Let me find it. I don’t take pleasure in this but…Horseface REALLY needs to reign it in, no pun intended.
I’ll just let that picture speak for itself. I probably should have put a trigger warning on that one, so I apologise if you were triggered.
Super Geoff, a legitimate retarded man, says, “Happy Birthday, Erin” and posts a picture of Bugs Bunny doing a dance. Erin has no idea who this is. “Why is there a fucking rabbit doing a dance? I better just pretend to know who this character is. Say something generic.”
Other people post “cute” gifs of Mario, Charlie Brown, and Hans Moleman. Erin has no idea who any of these people are.
Oh, Horny Goriya replied.
- “Hope you’re having a very happy birthday!”
Erin replies with, “thank you! I ate a cupcake so yes :)”
Horny Goriya asks if it was Erin’s favourite kind. Erin said, “No”.
Way to splash out, Mike. Couldn’t go to Wegman’s for a nice birthday cake? “No, I’ll just get her a cupcake from Wawa’s. Fuck it.”
- “Happy birthday. I’ve still never seen a single one of your videos 😅 but you’ve been so fun to follow on Twitter. It’s the nostalgia trips honestly haha”
This tickled me. Somebody is actually following Erin on Twitter but never watched any of her videos. Was never tempted. But there’s something about these boring as fuck tweets that he finds entertaining.
Tony from Hack the Movies wishes her a happy birthday.
By the way, notice that nobody other than Horseface is commenting on how hot Erin is. Because this is how normal people behave.
Then about 100 more people say “happy birthday.”
So let’s talk about what Erin did on her birthday. Besides enjoying that delicious cupcake.
She spent it drinking with her sugardaddy’s obese work colleague.
What the fuck? Maybe make some friends, Erin. This is extremely sad.
Get some fucking hobbies. Get a job. Then maybe you’ll meet people. You’re not going to meet people crying in the bathtub all day.
Or what about the horntards? How come Erin doesn’t hang out with any of the horntards? Some of them must be local.
She’s not doing that because they’re fucking mentally retarded. She’s happy to take money from these retards but of course she’s not going to spend time with them socially. It’s ridiculous.
By the way, this picture was in response to Horseface inviting Erin to go get drinks. Justin replied saying that it’s too late, he already went to get drinks with Erin.
So Horseface replies, “Also I’m totally more fun to go drinking with than Justin.” Talking about herself in a thread about Erin’s birthday. Then Justin posts a disgusting picture of himself with vomit all over him. Not sure why he thought that that was appropriate.
Then 8 Bit Eric replies with, “Wish I could grab drinks with everyone”
Who’s 8 Bit Eric? I don’t know. Some guy. He has a Youtube channel. I’ve never watched any of his shit but Darius Truxton used to always talk about him.
So Erin replies with, “Me too. Let’s all go to Chili’s.”
Why only Youtubers? Why not the horntards? Aren’t the horntards your friends?
And what about people outside of Youtube? Why don’t you make actual friends instead of this weird networking bullshit?
By the way, I checked and 8 Bit Eric lives in Texas. So…yeah, he’s not going to Chili’s with you any time soon.
Then, to top it off, Horseface replies with, “I was invited! Unfortunately I am a career woman and I work… a lot.”
This isn’t about you, Horseface. Can you stop talking about yourself for two seconds? Nobody gives a shit about you or how much you claim to work.
And what a slap in the face to Ms Plays over here. She’s the fucking birthday girl and Horseface is saying, “Hey, at least I have a job, you unemployable bitch.”
And I don’t even think that Horseface has a job. Not a reputable one, anyway. She claims to be a “model” and she does “events” and she has “work” pictures of her where she’s dressed like a stripper and whatnot.
But Horseface has to constantly try to be the centre of attention.
Here’s something that Horseface did for work or maybe for her own “enjoyment.” Wow. You’re so cultured, Horseface. You’re seeing a children’s play. Let me know how this one ends. Does Scrooge become a good person by the end of the play?
That reminds me. I was in A Christmas Carol play in the 7th grade. What stories can I regale you with?
Well, during rehearsals, I tried out for…some part that had a few lines. Not many lines but a few. And this was unusual for me because I was a quiet kid. I didn’t like doing this shit. But I thought that I could try.
People really liked my line reading. The line was “All right. I’m leaving.” And the other kids would read it like fucking robots. “All right. I’m leaving.” A pause between sentences. And they would put an emphasis on “right” and “leaving.” But I read it like a human being. “Alright, I’m leaving.” Like somebody who’s annoyed.
The other kids were really impressed and encouraging. They were surprised that I was able to do this because I was such a reserved guy. I didn’t like this stuff. And the teacher also seemed impressed.
Then the cast list came out. I didn’t get the part. The teacher must not have thought that I could have done it. I’d be too embarrassed on stage or something. I got some other part. Some part with no lines.
People were genuinely outraged. One kid spoke up and told the teacher that she has to give me a line. She agreed. So I got a line. “A toast. A toast to Mr Fezziwig. And to Mrs Fezzig too”.
I wasn’t able to do much with that awkward shit. And that line wasn’t even in the play. The teacher just made it up. I don’t know what character I played.
Anyway, I don’t have any harsh feelings towards the teacher. It’s a difficult decision. There are a lot of kids in the class and only so many parts.
But it was perhaps a pivotal moment. In the 8th grade play, I didn’t try out for any part that had lines. I just gave up. Maybe had I got that part in the 7th grade, I would have become a more sociable person or it would have instilled a passion for theatre in me or something. But by not getting the part, I just became more withdrawn and sullen.
In any event, Horseface went to see this children’s play and she thinks that this makes her some kind of big shot. No, it makes you an uncultured buffoon who’s pretending, poorly, to be cultured.
Happy birthday to Erin Plays, though. The first 35 years of your life have been a total waste but there’s nothing to say that the next 35 have to be a waste. Go out and fucking do something with your life for once. It’s not too late. Get a job. Go back to California. Get in a real relationship. None of this is difficult.
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Pam being delighted by video games… and also swearing at them for 18 minutes – Cannot be Tamed
More completely baffling anti-comedy from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. She’s done a few of these videos. If these are the “highlights” of her streams, I’m not missing anything.
0:00 – She’s playing some game. There’s a cat in it. She says, “Hi. Hi little kitty. Hello. I love you.”
Get it? No. Nobody does. But it’s going to be this for 18 minutes. Pam thinks that these are jokes. It’s just a window into her insanity.
1:00 – Whoa. Views must be going down on her Twitch. She’s wearing a pink tank top. Then she pans the camera down. Shows her gut. Might be time to start doing some sit ups, Pam. And lay off the poutine. Your metabolism has obviously changed. It happens as we get older. There’s no shame in it. But don’t just let yourself go like Retro Ali has done.
I’ll say this about Erin, there was a time, maybe a year or two ago, when she was starting to pack on some weight. But then she lost it. So I assume that she went on a diet and/or started exercising. So good for Erin.
But Retro Ali? No. She just gave up. She gained 40 pounds and then she said, “Fuck it. I just won’t make Youtube videos any more.” Probably for the best. Her videos were horrendous. Still, she should probably get into shape just for her own health. But whatever you do, please don’t go back to making videos.
1:15 – “This could also be a stream where two men with great hair never kiss.”
She said something like this. She’s slurring her words because she’s a fucking drunk.
But yeah. There’s nothing cool about refusing to accept people’s sexuality. Turn in your woke card, you fat, dog-fucking drunk.
2:45 – She mentions that she didn’t link to something on Reddit. She registered a sub-reddit shortly after I started the Erin Plays sub-reddit, whatever it was, three or four years ago. Retro Ali also did the same thing. Like I would fucking be interested in starting entire sub-reddits for these women. I don’t even like writing about them on my blog twice a month or whatever. Both of these women are aggressively boring. And nobody wants to read this shit.
But yeah, she has a sub-reddit. And apparently she uses it. I don’t know because it’s set to private. But you can check it out here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/cannotbetamed/
Maybe you can try to get invited in. I have no interest so I won’t be attempting this.
4:00 – She’s talking about some fundraiser. I don’t know what the fundraiser is. Pam is raising money for the Indians again, I guess. Pam is all about those Indians. They need money, I guess. For what? They’re not going to be able to buy their land back.
6:00 – She’s basically just saying “fuck” and “bullshit” a lot. This is “comedy” in her mind. Gratuitous profanity.
6:45 – Oh, she talks about ordering poutine from DoorDash. No. Pam. We’ve been over this. You don’t need it. Try a homemade salad instead. Light dressing.
“I love fish and chips.”
You’re not listening, Pam. Maybe once in a while, on your once-a-month cheat day, you can have some poached fish and baked sweet potato fries. But your days of going to the local fish and chip shop, which I’m pretty sure don’t exist in Canada, are over.
Fish and chips. Fuck you. That shit barely even exists in England any more. I NEVER saw such an establishment in London. I’ve seen a few in other parts of the UK but not many and they’re not popular. Tastes have changed. Restauranteurs have changed. The people opening restaurants nowadays, and for the past 40+ years, are immigrants. So they’re selling their native food. Not fucking fish and chips.
I’ve seen some bullshit, though. Fucking white British people running a Chinese restaurant. It’s ridiculous. How authentic can this possibly be? And I’ve seen this numerous times.
Why aren’t these white British people opening fish and chip shops? Because nobody wants that shit any more. The only time when that was a viable business was when there wasn’t any other kind of food being sold. Once the first Indian restaurant opened, people said, “Let’s not go to the eel pie place any more.”
7:45 – Pam tries to emasculate some horntard who was trying to help her with the game.
10:00 – She’s talking about poutine again. This is funny, right? Repetition? Just keep mentioning a food. Preferably a regional that isn’t available to the lion’s share of your audience.
Hey. Look at me. I’m different. My passport has a different design than yours.
Yeah. Nobody gives a shit, Pam. Here’s an interesting Canadian stereotype that you can mention: the people are boring. And Pam certainly fits that stereotype. Aggressively boring.
13:30 – “I would love the world’s sexist monsters to compete for my affection.”
She’s just repeating something that was said in the game. But Pam. You’re 40 years old. The sexy monster ship has sailed.
14:15 – “I did have an existential crisis on my birthday. But I got over it.”
Well, look at your life. Look at what you’re doing. Playing video games for horny retards for pennies. Single. No children. It might be time to do some further reflection.
14:30 – “Look at those cum gutters.”
I think that she’s referring to this male vampire who, as far as I’m aware, has never said that he’s a homosexual. I mean, I’ve never played the game. Maybe this vampire is openly gay.
But even if he is, it’s not appropriate to objectify people. Isn’t that common sense? You don’t objectify gay men, straight men, gay women, straight women, women who fuck their dogs. None of this. Don’t we all know this?
Then you have Woke Pam over here talking about the patriarchy and the plight of the American Indians and whatnot. No. You’re offensive. You’re an offensive person, Pam. You’re an illiberal reprobate.
15:15 – “I would love to do voice acting. I don’t know if I’m emotive enough to do that but if anyone knows any game developers who are like, ‘We need a monotone robot voice’, that’s me.”
Well, at least she has some self-awareness.
I’m going to stop here. There’s another two minutes but…no. Fuck this.
Let’s check out her Twitter.
Whoa! She went as Elvira for Halloween. I tell you in advance so that you can grab your tissue.
It’s an interesting take on the Elvira costume. I like it. Because we’ve seen these slut Elvira Halloween costumes a billion times already by a billion other women.
But Pam has an interesting twist on the costume. She’s not going as the youthful Elvira from the 1980s. She’s going as Cassandra Peterson as she looks now, as a 71 year old woman.
One of the horntards in the comments suggests that she should do a video as Elvira. Uh huh. He’s a big fan of the Elvira games, I guess.
Who’s asking her about assless chaps? Did her dog learn to speak?
And here’s Pam in her “sexy” costume.
Good thing she had a girdle available to suck that gut in.
Well, I’ll say this. Pam at least delivered on the “sexy” costume this year. I mean, I’m totally flaccid but at least she tried.
As opposed to, say, Erin Plays. Erin didn’t do shit. A sweatshirt? A basketball jersey? Fuck off. That’s not remotely sexy. That’s not even trying. Zero Effort Erin strikes again.
Ooh. What about Madam Fomo? Did she do anything for Halloween?
Yeah. She went as a prostitute. Oh wait. That’s not a costume. These are just her normal pictures.
But she does have this interesting tweet:
She’s just…I don’t know…complaining about somebody. Nobody knows or cares who.
But the interesting part is that she says that Youtube pays $4.37 for every 1000 views.
So Pam averages about 8,000 views a video. Something like that. So that’s $35. Even if these videos don’t take hours to edit, which I think they do, it’s not worth it. Just go get a regular job and you can make $35 in a couple of hours. Even a minimum wage job is going to get you $35 in three or four hours.
And Madam Fomo is dismissive of Youtube’s pay structure because she’ll give you the world’s worst handjob for $35. For Madam Fomo, $35 is five minutes of work.