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Is Final Destination A Secret X-Files Movie? – Tony from Hack the Movies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X79QtFFguyg
Is Final Destination a secret X-Files movie? No. So that’s the video, I guess. I don’t have to watch an hour and nine minutes of this trash.
I guess that I’ll give it a chance. I’ve actually seen the movie, which is rare for the shit that Tony covers. I remember logs falling off the back of a truck. Was that the movie or was that a sequel? That was the second one.
What was the first one about? Let me refresh my memory.
I’m reading the Wikipedia summary. It sounds familiar but I’m not entirely sure. I’ll watch the trailer. No…it’s not ringing any bells.
I’m sure I’ve seen it though because years ago, my girlfriend cited this movie as being her favourite movie of all time and I laughed for like 15 minutes. I shouldn’t have laughed, especially not for 15 minutes, but it was just so absurd to me. THIS fucking piece of shit is your favourite movie? And I knew the movie. I knew the premise. Somebody has a premonition of their own death, they manage to avoid this death, and then a bunch of stuff subsequently tries to kill them to restore what should have been the original timeline or whatever. I knew all of this when she told me and this was many years ago.
I definitely saw the sequel in the theatre with her because I remember that log scene. And I took her to see this movie because she had earlier cited the original as her favourite movie.
I also went to Final Destination 4 with her. That’s the one in 3d. That was awful. I couldn’t even watch it.
But the reason she gave for it being her favourite movie is, “You think about what you would do in that situation.” I know what she meant. And she was right. You do think this when you’re watching the movie. But isn’t that a common thing in many movies? I don’t know. Maybe it isn’t.
Still…I wouldn’t put Final Destination in my top 1000 films. Come on. I’m an intellectual. Easy Rider is still my number one. And my top 100 probably doesn’t have anything that was made from 1980 to today.
Anyway, moving on. Tony is hacking some more lowbrow movies. Let’s check it out.
0:00 – Oh, we have that butch lesbian editor Jessica and Johanna from Hack the Movies. Is this Jessica’s first appearance on the show? I do believe that it is. She was terrible in some Simpsons mini-review that she did and she was awful in some commercial but…who knows? Can she be any worse than Johanna?
Oh…what? What is Jessica wearing? It’s a tank top with “Green Day” on it. Green Day must be all the rage with the young people today. I saw a young woman just recently with a Green Day jacket or backpack or something. She was in her early 20s, I’d guess. These people weren’t even alive when the fucking…whatever. There’s apparently a Green Day revival. Good for them, I guess. They were shit in the 1990s and they’re undoubtedly shit today but whatever. This is what the young people are into. Sixty year old pop punk rockers.
0:30 – Wait a minute. Jessica makes a “coming out of the closet” half-joke that I didn’t get. Then she says, “I want to say that that is not a gay joke because I am very much straight.”
Wow. My mind is blown. This changes everything.
First of all, my sincere apologies to Jessica for calling her a butch lesbian all this time. But…can this be right? Well, it’s what she says. I don’t think that she’s joking. She knows if she’s gay or not.
It didn’t fucking help that Horseface constantly talked about how hot Jessica is and how she wants to have sex with her. She says that about every woman but this is what happens. It causes confusion.
No, it’s not just me. Because just recently somebody left a comment on one of these videos saying, “She looks like she uses pronouns” in reference to Jessica.
Anyway, I always liked Jessica. I complimented her old school embracing of butch lesbianism as opposed to becoming “trans”. But…no, this is a heterosexual woman. Just…not a particularly feminine heterosexual woman. And that’s alright. No problem with that. That’s cool. Something different. I like it. Be yourself. That’s what I’m all about. Individuality.
0:45 – And then Johanna says “not me”, suggesting that she’s not heterosexual. You know…Johanna. The woman who’s getting married to a man. Not heterosexual. I see. Let’s just move on.
1:00 – Some dumb skit. I don’t give a fuck.
2:45 – Jessica (who is always referred to as “Jess”) says that she was recently in Ireland. Good for her. Doing some travelling. And not the bullshit traveling that human garbage like Johanna does where she just goes to fucking Disney World over and over again. Jess is doing real travelling. International travelling.
I’ve been to Ireland myself. That was originally where I was planning on living. I was in Dublin. But I couldn’t find a job right away and I was living in a hostel with a bunch of scumbags and after a month of that, I said, “Fuck this” and I took a flight to London. And it took two years to find a job.
I was also planning on moving to Dublin a few years ago. I had a job interview there but the woman didn’t even bother to show up. Unprofessional in the extreme. I’ve never seen this in my life. And she knew that I was coming from London just for that one day. Suddenly, there’s an “emergency”. So fuck her and fuck that company. I moved somewhere else instead.
But that poor experience didn’t sour me on Dublin as a whole. It was very scenic and most of the people seemed okay and it had a nice, chill vibe. I don’t think that I’ll be going back, though.
10:00 – Tony is introducing a female character and Johanna says, “She’s so fucking hot.”
Fucking awful. She’s just stealing Horseface’s gimmick. If you have nothing semi-intelligent to say, keep your fucking mouth shut. It’s not hard.
10:30 – Tony keeps talking about milfs and porn and Johanna says, “Why do you keep talking about porn?”
This is an intelligent contribution. I was about to pose the same question.
Okay, well I made it to 30 minutes. Nothing is happening. It’s the usual summarising of movies. But nothing offensive. This was fine. This was background noise material.
Jessica is awkward and has nothing to say but she’s definitely my favourite Hack the Movies co-host. This is real. Real people are awkward and have nothing to say. She’s not talking about hot chicks who she wants to have sex with or any of this mindless blather. It’s just…nothing. There’s a lot of talking over as well. Tony talks over her a lot because he knows that she’s just going to say something awkward.
But it’s not annoying. It’s refreshing. I identify with Jessica. This would be me on the show. Saying awkward shit that doesn’t go anywhere.
Let’s peruse the comments.
– “Jessica is hot”
Dude. Come on. Really?
Well…now that I know that she’s heterosexual…maybe. As a butch lesbian, she’s just a butch lesbian. But as a not-particularly-feminine, heterosexual woman…I might be into it. It’s something different.
I’m putting Jessica on top of my Ladies of Youtube list. And if she comes back, she’ll do better. This is a skill that improves with practice.
Hopefully, I don’t get burned like I did with PVC Bondage Girl. Jessica comes out as a “mudding” enthusiast or something.
– “Dude, definitely need more Jessica in the videos. She’s a delight and funny AF”
There are a lot of messages like this. People are really into Jessica. They’re on another planet. She’s awful. And not remotely funny.
Still…maybe she’d go out with me. Maybe the next time she’s in Ireland, we can meet up. Go to Burger King or something. Have an awkward conversation over a Vegan Royale. And then who knows? Maybe some awkward intercourse. Anything’s possible.
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Pam being thirsty and obsessed with sausages while playing Gabriel Knight 2 – Cannot be Tamed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA-IWN9Khi8
Part 3 in Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining’s series of bafflingly unfunny Twitch clips. I reviewed the first two here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/04/pam-being-irreverent-inappropriate-or.html
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/07/pam-judging-fashion-choices-righting.html
Let’s check the description.
Some highlights from recent streams while playing The Beast Within: A Gabriel Knight Mystery. I really wanted the characters to kiss. And buy sausages. And commented on both of these things a lot.
Oh. So she’s going to repeat the same unfunny half-joke numerous times. That’s funny, right? Let’s find out together. Twenty minutes. Oh, we’re in for a treat. My sides are aching already.
0:00 – So she’s watching this FMV of two guys drinking and then she says, “Now kiss.”
Get it? Like they’re gay. That’s…well, let’s think about this. It’s not funny. We know that much. But is what she saying homophobic? Because these characters aren’t gay. So why is she attributing gay characteristics to them?
You wouldn’t attribute heterosexual characteristics to gay men, would you? “Hey, nancy boy. Why don’t you go have sex with a woman.” Because that guy isn’t into that stuff. He’s gay. And to suggest that he should sex with a woman is offensive. You’re not respecting his sexuality.
You’d expect a woke woman like Pam to understand all of this. No. She doesn’t get it.
0:15 – There’s FMV of flames in front of a child. “Are they setting that child on fire? Goodbye child.”
Get it? Are your ribs tickled yet? Strap in. We’ve got twenty minutes of this aggressively bad non-comedy to get through.
1:00 – She attempts to give a butcher some money and the protagonist says, “I’m not much in the mood for mead at the moment.” Pam says, “Why?”
That’s the joke. It’s going to be this for twenty minutes. Why does she think that any of this is funny? This is just a window into her mental illness. None of this is REMOTELY funny. I can’t even understand how she can think that this is funny. These are not jokes. These are not witty remarks. This is nothing. But she thinks that this is all hysterical.
1:45 – She suggests that two heterosexual men should kiss. Again. Why is any of this funny? It isn’t.
And I think that this is supposed to be an example of Pam being “thirsty”. Really? This is Pam when she’s horny? She has the same blank expression and monotone voice that she always has. No wonder her boyfriend left her and she’s fucking her dog now.
3:30 – “Sometimes the musical cues are not totally fitting of what’s happening on screen.”
I don’t even know what to say any more. How many different ways can I say that none of this even remotely funny? Or interesting? Or sexual? It’s just…nothing. These comments are nothing. But Pam, inexplicably, finds them to be funny.
I’ll give it another two minutes.
4:15 – “Yeah, boyfriend.” And then she zooms the camera in, during post-production, to her taking a sip from her water bottle.
No. This is abysmal. And it’s not going to improve. It’s going to be this for twenty minutes.
Let’s see what the horntards have to say.
– “BAHAHAHA this game is just a gay porn! (beast within eh, so he’s closeted?)”
Any way you look at it, this is offensive. What if the guy is gay? Pam trying to out somebody is not cool. It’s certainly not funny.
– “this is just….hilarious and perfection. Thank you for the many many smiles Pam. :)”
Where? Which parts were funny? Can you cite a single example?
– “These are your highlights? Glad I didn’t watch you stream. Cringe af.”
God fucking damn it. Finally a voice of reason. It’s like fucking Bizarro World in these comments. How can ANYBODY find ANY of this to be funny? These aren’t even jokes. She’s not even ATTEMPTING to be funny. Right? She can’t be. These are just random comments.
– “Gross. Unsubscribed.”
Another person who gets it. There’s nothing funny about calling people gay.
Well, I don’t want to be too disingenuous. I enjoy calling the boys on TheCinemassacreTruth gay. But I’m doing so in a comedic fashion. And there’s at least a kernel of truth in what I’m saying. You have to be pretty gay to talk about a man’s penis on a regular basis and make Photoshopped pictures where you make men look like women.
But calling somebody gay when they’re not gay is…offensive. I know that it’s offensive. It’s no different from calling people “faggots” in online games. This used to be popular, I don’t know if it still is. You’d get angry at somebody and call them a “faggot”.
I can fully understand why gay people would be offended by these remarks. They don’t want their sexuality to be used as an insult.
But here’s Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining calling this man gay and saying, “Hey isn’t this cute? I’m calling a straight man gay.”
It’s not cute. It’s offensive to homosexuals and it’s offensive to heterosexuals. Heterosexual men don’t want to be emasculated by being called gay and gay men don’t want their sexuality to be used as an insult. How can she not get this? Pam is the ultimate SJW.
She’s an SJW when it suits her. She has no problem being insulting to white men, gay or straight.
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Erin Getting *Nostalgic* About Woolworth's
https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1562896384876875776
Found a nice little gem on the picture hanging kit at my parents’ house. I only have super vague memories of Woolworth’s since I was so young, but I remember it being fun 😎
Then she posts a picture of a “picture hanging kit” with a Woolworth price tag of $2.99 on it.
She actually took the time to post this. She’s apparently at her parents’ home yet again, by the way. She’s there about 20 times a year.
But she posted this ridiculously boring, pointless *nostalgia* tweet about a PICTURE HANGING KIT! She’s claiming to be *nostalgic* for PICTURE HANGING KITS.
Then you read the fucking tweet. She doesn’t even remember the fucking store. Nevertheless, with the obvious disadvantage of having no memories of the store, she found Woolworth’s to be “fun”.
What the fuck is this? What’s the point of this? She has never fucking done ANYTHING. So this is the desperate, pointless sort of shit that she writes. “I don’t remember the store I think it was fun. What about you guys? Did you like Woolworth’s?”
No, Erin. I’ve never been. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you haven’t been to every defunct retail store. But don’t make a fucking tweet about your non-memories.
Boy, this picture hanging kit really reminds me…nothing. I don’t remember the store. But it was fun.
Riveting stuff, Erin.
Let’s see what the horntards can possibly have to say to this.
Well, Shishi says, “You in LA? Supposedly the best hamburger on the west coast”.
Wow. If even Shishi didn’t know that Erin was visiting her parents yet again, she must not have told anyone. By the way, Shishi thinks that The Apple Pan is the best place to get a hamburger in Los Angeles. Is he right? I don’t know. I’ve never been. Neither has Shishi. Neither, presumably, has Erin. Maybe we should all make a tweet about The Apple Pan anyway. That restaurant sure is fun. Probably.
Oh, The Ideas Man posted here. That’s surprising. Erin must still be in Newt’s good graces. Or vice versa, I guess. So he says: “I have not thought of Woolworths in years. But I still remember where they were in the malls. used to get star wars power of the force figures there.”
Well, that’s a memory, at least. Not an interesting one but an actual memory. You see how this works, Erin? It’s a retelling of something that actually occurred in one’s life.
Somebody named Karl says, “Remember eating at the lunch counter with my mom and looking at the models of airplanes & tanks that they had. alway reasonable priced. Good times!❤️ ( yes I’m that old” and then about seven random emojis.
Yeah, that’s a memory alright. Again, not remotely interesting but it’s a memory.
Then you go to his Twitter.
“A/V specialist, Photographer, Media Artist, Filmmaker, dad & loving husband. NY to the core”
His wife probably doesn’t appreciate him jerking off to Erin but who knows? Maybe she’s an understanding woman. Erin is just so hot, not to mention charming. How can you not jerk off to her?
And he has like a thousand tweets about how Trump and the Republican party are evil. THE MAN LOST THE ELECTION! YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP HARPING ON IT! TRUMP ISN’T GOING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR PRECIOUS TRANSGENDER BATHROOMS!
Mike also chimes in. “I went there all the time in the 80s. Loved the soda fountain and sitting on the stools.”
Oh. Sitting on the stools, you say. That’s some memory. Thank you for sharing that, Mike. It was complete dogshit but it beat Erin’s non-memory by some considerable margin.
Gamers Uplink says, “Woolworth and Caldor. Mrs. Gamers Uplink and I got our first dining room table from Caldor when we were younger. I still have it as part of my office and streaming setup.”
Okay, but we’re talking about Woolworth’s here. If you have no memories about Woolworth’s, don’t fucking post anything.
RJay64 says, “I don’t remember Woolworth’s at all and I’m a 90s kid. I remember places like Montgomery Ward, Circuit City and Wherehouse.”
Come on. Is there really a store called Wherehouse? Because I, like everybody, read that as “Whorehouse”.
Anyway, that guy is just wasting our time too. No Woolworth’s memories.
So Erin replies to that guy. “I remember Wards and Warehouse a lot better. I was SUPER little when Woolworth’s was still around.”
Yeah. We know. You don’t have any memories of Woolworth’s. So what in the name of fuck was the point of this tweet?
Squarepainter says, “My dad did the product illustrations in the flyers when I was a kid so I’d get the occasional free toys from them”
Oh, the first semi-interesting Woolworth’s memory. So what does Erin say, “That’s awesome”. That’s her new replacement for, “That’s cool”. It’s the only thing that she can ever say to anyone because she has no experience with anything. She’s never done anything. She doesn’t know anything about anything.
Omegamax10 says, “They had arcades, rides and an Icee machine at mine. Awesome store.”
There you go. That’s a memory. Marginally better than fucking Mike talking about sitting on a stool. What the fuck.
Curt79 says, “I remember when the Woolworth’s by me turned into a Walmart.”
Oh. Fascinating.
And then somebody says something, I can’t see the tweet because it’s hidden, but Erin replies with “That’s awesome”. Unbelievable.
So that’s Erin’s trip down memory lane in regards to Woolworth’s and picture framing kits.
Earlier, I said that I’ve never been to a Woolworth’s but that’s not quite true. I’ve never been to a US Woolworth but I have been to UK Woolworth’s. Woolworth still operated in the UK even after the US Woolworth’s closed because the UK chain was an independent thing.
So I went a couple of times. This was like 15 years ago. They were just stores. I got a bowl from there or something.
Woolworth’s, at least in the UK, were known for their “pick and mix” candy selection. They had a bunch of different, generic candies (or “sweets” as British people like to say) in like drawers and you could fill a small bag with whatever combination of candies you wanted for a flat price.
I never did that. Alright. I’m just telling you that I didn’t do it. I don’t like pick and mix. I find the whole process intimidating.
But I did go once with my girlfriend, who’s a pick and mix enthusiast. So she made her choices and paid for it. I think that she got some of those little coiled red licorice things. I like those. But yeah, she got a combination of things.
Then the UK Woolworth’s closed…I’ll say in 2010. Let me look this up.
It was 2009. I was close. It was a big news story. People lost their jobs and whatnot. But the main story was the closure of these pick and mix things. Where are people going to go for their pick and mix needs?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woolworths_Group_(United_Kingdom)
That’s another thing. That article keeps referring to “Woolworth”. Not “Woolworth’s”. And the price tag in Erin’s fascinating picture also said “Woolworth”. So which is it? I’m inclined to say “Woolworth’s” too but I don’t have much familiarity with the store.
So that was a deep dive into one of the most boring and pointless tweets ever created. That’s awesome.
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Psycho Spamming My Blog Every Day for a Year
I know that this will just encourage him to continue but maybe it will help other people see what a lunatic this person is.
There’s a guy currently using the name PalpitationOcean on Reddit. As here:
https://www.reddit.com/user/PalpitationOcean/
He used the names PalpitationSea4098 and Garubtree in the past. Those accounts have both been banned from all of Reddit for obsessive, harassing behaviour.
This guy is a fat hillbilly from Alabama who was in special education. This is all from his own account of himself.
I banned him from my sub CinemassacreTruth shortly after I opened it because he would spam it with stupid shit. This is what initially got him banned from the official Cinemassacre subreddit. He literally posts from the minute he wakes up until the minute he goes to sleep. Then he got banned from all of Reddit for harassing the moderators of the official Cinemassacre subreddit.
I don’t know what he was sending to them but here’s what he sends to me: death threats, rape threats, comments about how he enjoys eating shit, comments about how he’s gay, comments about wanting to have sex with James Rolfe’s children, just whatever “shocking” material his special education brain can think of.
So I sent a screenshot of some his posts to the moderators of TheCinemassacreTruth. I said, “Can you just warn him to stop this or you’re going to ban him and maybe that will be enough to get him to stop.” They didn’t reply. They looked at these posts full of death and rape threats and other disgusting comments and said, “Nothing wrong here.”
His previous Reddit account was finally banned because he kept posting gay Photoshops of James Rolfe’s face on muscular men’s bodies. Shit like this. He was banned for ban evasion on my sub. He kept using different usernames.
I just ignore him. I never acknowledge his retarded behaviour. But every day for a year with this. This is why I had to turn comment moderation on. He posts at least dozens of these psychotic messages every day.
He also says, “If you shut your subreddit down, I’ll stop spamming.” But why would I do that? The subreddit is there to expose the homosexual harassment of the gay men on TheCinemassacreTruth. And what’s more gay than a man harassing another man for a year saying that he’s going to rape him? This is a fat, gay, special education hillbilly. And he’s clearly mentally ill. And probably dangerous.
But here’s the thing. It takes FIVE SECONDS to delete all of these messages. I’ll lay it out in screenshot form.
Here are his comments so far from today. What he’s been doing lately is re-posting every comment I ever wrote on Reddit. Nothing gay and obsessive about that. Note that he started three hours ago.
He stopped one hour ago. So he’s been spamming these comments for two hours. He wrote 272 comments so far today.
So all I have to do is click “manage”.
Click “select all comments”.
Click “delete the selected comments”.
And that’s it. “Awaiting moderation (0)”. Five seconds of work. Does he think that I have to click all of these individually? No. This is easy. He spent two hours with this mentally ill bullshit, and I spent five seconds deleting it.
Anyway, hopefully, he finds a boyfriend soon. This is not remotely healthy or normal.
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Here Lies Talk About Games – Mike Matei
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PB9JsD7r0WI
It was just last month that I noted the steep decline of Talk About Games. I briefly talked about it here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/07/tmnt-shredders-revenge-and-taiko-no.html
They had recently done an episode where they changed formats. They talked about what is and what is not a “Metroidvania”. And they discussed that possibility of doing similar videos, as opposed to the usual format where they each talk about a game.
That never happened.
Then Mike wasn’t even in a recent episode. Fucking Tony from Hack the Movies was there. And I was thinking, “This is peculiar.” It was this episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW8uyxEXNms
I only made it eight minutes into that one.
But I don’t even know if it’s a Tony thing. Because I’m looking at all of the recent episodes. Youtube lets you start the video from where you left off now. And in most of these, I quit after like ten minutes. I used to watch them in their entirety but I just can’t do it any more.
Maybe the problem is that they’re not interested in this shit any more and it shows in the videos. They lack any passion for what they’re doing. Mike didn’t even fucking show up for one of them. It’s like when James stopped showing up for The Cinemassacre Podcast. He’d come up with ridiculous excuses like his family all got covid and then the next thing you know, the podcast is gone.
So let’s check out the video. It’s only eight minutes so I should be able to get through it.
0:15 – Okay, let’s get this out of the way. Ryan is wearing a necklace and a blouse.
When I first saw this, which was on TheCinemassacreTruth, I assumed that it was a Photoshop that those gay men did. They enjoy making Ryan and sometimes Mike look like women. It’s a fetish that they have.
No. These were just screenshots. Unaltered. What the fuck is this?
I don’t think that Ryan is transgender, as those gay men like to wish. I just…I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t know that this is a woman’s top? Maybe he likes necklaces? Who knows?
As for Mike, he’s wearing a white t-shirt. This is noteworthy only in so far as he almost always wears a black shirt. It’s the old “black is slimming” idea.
0:30 – Mike says, “We wanted more views and it’s not getting it so we’re done.”
Well, that’s the video then. No need to waste another seven minutes on this. This was just Mike and Ryan trying to make money. How about getting a job, boys? Have you considered that?
How is Screenwave even making money? They’re taking a cut from a bunch of Youtube channels but…why are these channels signing up for this? What is Screenwave actually doing for these channels? I think it’s nothing. They’re just parasites taking a cut of the money and doing nothing in return.
Ryan talks about his mansion and all of his arcade cabinets and shit. So he’s making money from this but…how? And how much longer can this last? I can’t believe it’s even successful now. Eventually, these “Youtubers” are bound to figure out that Screenwave is doing nothing for them.
Mike also talks about his many cars and his building that contains only Halloween decorations. Shit like this. So he has money as well. I assume that he made it from the sale of Cinemassacre to Screenwave.
According to the Twitch pay out leak from a year ago, Mike made about $40,000 from Twitch in 2020. That’s a reasonable amount of money, especially for playing video games, but it’s not making him independently wealthy.
Mike also regularly says that he just streams for fun. He’s not doing it for money. So…how is the podcast any different?
I suspect that it’s Ryan who doesn’t want to do this any more. Ryan is constantly trying to make money, typically in a parasitic fashion. He doesn’t like doing actual work. So he doesn’t want to talk about video games twice a month any more. Too much work for Ryan. He could be spending this time better trying to bilk Youtubers out of their paltry incomes.
0:45 – Then Ryan starts listing all of the stuff that he’s doing that are more profitable than the podcast. He’s producing four video games. Whatever that means. He’s “overseeing” the people who are doing the actual work, I guess. He’s also “building a production facility”. Again, he just hired people to do the actual work. And he’s “running three companies”. Again, he’s doing nothing. Other people are doing the work, he’s just getting the money. Profiting from other people’s labour. This is what Ryan does. He does NOTHING himself.
1:00 – “Some of these games, I was playing 8, 10, 12 hours.”
Oh poor baby. Ryan was playing video games for up to 12 hours. What a hard life he has.
1:30 – So the idea is that Ryan might sometimes appear on Mike’s streams. That’s it.
I don’t even fucking want Ryan in Mike’s streams. What is this shit? This is a terrible idea.
And this is their idea of “hanging out”. Ryan said that he wants to “hang out” with Mike and what he meant by that was, “On stream, for money.”
Everything has to be for money with these people. Can you do ANYTHING that isn’t for money?
1:45 – Mike says, “I don’t think we were going to do the show forever so at some point we were going to stop doing it anyway.”
Well, no shit. Nobody expected to see 80 year old Mike and Ryan doing the podcast. What kind of argument is that? You can apply this to anything.
Quit a job after a week. “Well, I wasn’t going to stay at this job forever anyway.”
Quit a relationship after one date. “Well, I wasn’t going to be this woman forever anyway.”
3:00 – Mike says that Ryan doesn’t have the time to do the show. Even if it was getting big numbers, Ryan doesn’t have the time. This seems to be a common problem over there.
3:15 – “Also, we have to pay editors to do it and whatnot.”
Heaven forfend you pay somebody to do work. So now those editors are out on the street. Fuck them. Ryan doesn’t have time to play video games any more. He’s living in his mansion, scamming however many hundreds or thousands of “Youtubers” out of their money. That editor doesn’t need a job.
3:30 – Then Ryan says that it’s a “natural stopping point” because there are 52 episodes.
What? Why is 52 the “natural stopping point”? This is some autistic James Rolfe bullshit.
He also mentions Patreon. That’s another thing. They were always aggressively promoting their Patreon. Even as recently as last week. So what’s going to happen to those people? Maybe they’ll just shut the Patreon down and the payments will automatically cancel. Maybe.
3:45 – Ryan says that 52 Youtube episodes plus the 52 episodes on Patreon is “a good run for any show.”
This isn’t fucking Bonanza. These are Youtube videos. Youtube videos where two losers who never worked a day in their lives talk about video games.
It’s like James Rolfe comparing James and Mike Mondays to a tv show. “All good tv shows take a break”. Same exact thing.
These are not television shows, gentlemen. This is many, many, many, MANY steps below television.
Mike: Do you think that there are more episodes of Talk About Games than there are Stranger Things.
Ryan: There are — definitely.
It’s absurd. Mike was kind of joking when he asked that but Ryan was not. Ryan legitimately is comparing this fucking podcast with a television show that has writers, actors, directors, producers, cameramen, lighting guys, makeup people, a catering crew, and so on.
4:30 – Mike then plugs his Twitch stream. Ryan repeats that he’ll sometimes stream with Mike.
But we don’t care. I mean, honestly. Who is clamouring to see any of this?
How many people give a shit about the podcast? It’s something to put on as background noise. Nobody cares. This is throwaway content. It’s not art. It’s not a tv show.
Do the podcast or don’t. We don’t fucking care.
4:45 – Ryan says, “I want to say thank you to all of our guests: Tony from Hack the Movies.”
Then there’s an awkward pause. He was the only fucking “guest”. And I don’t even know why he was there. Where was Mike on that day? Was there some kind of contract dispute? Mike refused to show up? Like when Suzanne Somers had a contract dispute with the producers of Three’s Company so refused to appear on the show any more except for brief scenes where she’s on the phone calling in to Janet and Jack? Then they just didn’t renew her contract?
It was a rough few years for Suzanne. She posed for Playboy. It wasn’t until the 1990s that she became the spokeswoman for Thighmaster. But that’s hardly impressive. Then there was She’s the Sheriff. I don’t even remember that show. I only know it as a joke. But I’ve seen an episode or two on Youtube. It’s unwatchable.
But all was redeemed when she landed the role of what’s her name, the mother on Step by Step.
Anyway, Mike Matei is no Suzanne Somers. So he went crawling back to Ryan for his Talk About Games job. Probably at a reduction in salary. And then the show is cancelled a month later anyway.
5:15 – Then they talk about “Xander” the guy who makes the title cards. That’s another guy who’s now on the breadline because Ryan just “doesn’t have the time” to play video games for 12 hours a week any more.
6:00 – Ryan says, “Another thing that was nice about Talk About Games is that we played the games that we wanted to play. It wasn’t an algorithm thing.”
So…on the one hand, they’re doing whatever they want to do because they just like video games and don’t care about views.
But on the other hand, they’re quitting the podcast because it’s not making enough money.
Which is it? Are you passionate about doing the show and playing games or are you passionate about making money?
That’s the video. Anyway, I don’t give a shit if they do the podcast or not. This is entirely for their benefit. I didn’t enjoy it. It was…whatever. I watched it. Sometimes. As background noise. It wasn’t interesting. There are probably a thousand more engaging podcasts out there.
But if they’re all about money, which they are, maybe a year isn’t long enough to build an audience. Maybe they have to actually put some time and effort into this shit.
This is what Screenwave seems to do. The Cinemassacre Podcast was over in about 25 episodes. So was Mouthfools. Now Talk About Games.
What happened to that new desk that they were going to get? The only podcast still using this set is Pegwarmers. Are you going to get a new desk for that Pegwarmers? That show that gets like 4,000 views an episode? If I was that Kevin guy from Pegwarmers, I’d be dusting off my resume . Ryan is not going to keep that expensive studio just for him. He’s going to use that space for something more profitable.
Screenwave has all of these ideas and then they don’t put any time or effort into them. Yeah, maybe all of Screenwave’s ideas are terrible. Maybe none of these podcasts would ever take off no matter how much time, effort, and money you put into them. But…what does this mean? That Screenwave is just a giant failure of a company? I suppose that that’s the answer.
—–
Edit: Okay, so I wrote all of that and then I found out that Ryan made some kind of statement in the chat during the “premiere”. So I have to re-watch this now. He says:
As far as the personal stuff. Yeah there’s been changes. I’m still figuring it all out honestly. No statements. No plans. I have a lot of inner conflict. Maybe best not to be a public persona. That’s all you’re gonna get, sorry.Then Justin says, “Well said.”
That wasn’t well said. This guy is a fucking lunatic and he’s throwing his company away. His three companies, apparently.
I owe those nancy boys on Reddit an apology. I thought that it was just wishful thinking on their part. But no. Ryan really is one of them.
This guy is like 40 years old, he has a wife, he has three young children and this is what he decides to do. Did anybody suggest that he see a psychiatrist first? Maybe he has too much stress. Maybe he has so much money that he thinks that he can do whatever he want.
No. This is it. This is the end of Screenwave. Who would want to get involved with a company with this fucking clown running the show? Doesn’t even know what gender he is. At the age of 40, he still hasn’t figured it out.
Let’s say you’re a gay man. Just a regular gay man. And you’re looking for some company. You like dudes, obviously. Guys who look like guys. But you’re also open to guys who dress up as women. Okay. Fine.
Are you going to pick the middle aged fat fuck in a dress who has a wife and three children? There’s no fucking way. With so many hot, young, muscular, single men out there? Or how about just a slim guy in a dress? A guy who actually kind of looks like a woman.
Ryan has no fucking chance. Who are the people who are looking for fat, middle aged, married men who have children and are wearing a dress? Nobody wants this.
As a normal fat guy, who’s married, and has three children, and a successful business. Yeah. I can see women going for that. Not many women but there are some gold diggers out there who will overlook a lot.
I can not see any gay man going for this transgender Ryan. I’m sorry. There’s no fucking way.
He threw everything away with this. His business. His wife. His children. And for what? What does he gain by wearing a dress? Let’s say that he’s single. Nobody is touching that shit. Just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean that they don’t have any standards.
I think that I’ve exhausted this topic. Let me check out the comments in chat. Maybe somebody says something good.
No. Nobody said anything interesting. Maybe they deleted comments. There was some stuff about Ryan in a dress but not much.
Does he say anything on Twitter about this?
https://twitter.com/schottr/status/1562082074802135040
No matter how many yellow brick roads they build. I don’t think PA is ever going to OZ.
Well, there’s that. Some cryptic bullshit about the Wizard of Oz. And a gif of Dorothy skipping down the Yellow Brick Road. Dorothy is a well-known gay icon.
But no, Ryan Schott is no Judy Garland. He’s not even Judy Johnson, the Negro League baseball player.
What the fuck is he…it’s done. That’s it for Screenwave. It’s all over. This is not a professional look. To say the least. Nobody is going to want to work with this nut. I know that there are a lot of crazy people in the video game industry in terms of “Youtubers” and the people who get involved in nerd conventions and whatnot. And a lot of these people are gay or transgender or whatever. But there’s a limit. This guy owns a fucking business. Nobody is going to want to get involved with this lunatic. Certainly not when there’s money at stake. You’re going to trust this fat guy in a dress to make smart decisions?
Even if you’re gay, even if you’re transgender, you’re not going to entrust a crazy person with the future of your channel. Or in any business transaction that Ryan is involved with. You’re going to loan money to this guy? He just went completely off his nut. It’s done.
-
The Unfortunate Demise of Mouthfools
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK1sHMO9i-Rbfj3tezqBt2A/videos
With the unexpected news that Talk About Games is coming to an end, I discovered that another Screenwave podcast has also ended: Mouthfools. This one ended two months ago.
I attempted to review this podcast here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/01/christmas-trust-issues-mouthfools.html
It’s entirely unwatchable. It was four guys in their 20s, talking on some Skype group chat about Pokemon or whatever. At least three of the four guys are gay. A lot of the guys are annoying and none of them have any charisma.
There are podcasts like this where it’s just random people getting together for a group chat. I’ve seen them. Destiny Fomo aka Madam Fomo has been on them. They’re done on an informal basis and nobody watches them. It”s just some fucking Youtube shit. I talk about that “podcast” here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/05/mentally-ill-destiny-fomo-simp.html
Guys talking about whatever. Over Skype or…I don’t know the program they’re using. But this is not a professional production. It’s just throw away content that NOBODY is watching.
That’s what Mouthfools was. Four guys in a group chat talking about whatever.
Mouthfools lasted six months. Twenty-six glorious episodes. They got fewer and fewer views as they went on.
What’s weird is that all four of these guys have Youtube channels with a fair amount of subscribers. We have 84,000, 166,000, 405,000, and the last guy has over a million subscribers. Why weren’t they able to translate any of these numbers into the podcast? The podcast has 22,000 subscribers.
Yes, the videos on Mouthfools are entirely unwatchable but so are the videos that these individual Youtubers put out. It’s the exact same content. They talk about Pokemon and Minecraft and shit like this. Games that 12 year olds play. And they’ll be in the corner talking excitedly about some children’s game while footage is shown. That’s it. Unwatchable.
But it’s the same exact shit that Mouthfools was about. So I don’t get it. Same bad thumbnails. Everything was the same. But you had four of these boring guys talking about this boring children’s shit instead of just one. This should have worked. I guess. In the sense that their individual channels seem to work.
Maybe with more time they could have done something. You can’t expect a podcast to take off overnight. Six months is not enough time.
And why would they cancel it anyway? It costs NOTHING to produce the show. It’s just four guys talking on Skype. It’s not edited. Why stop doing it?
You read the comments and people seemed to enjoy it. It’s baffling but there you are.
Let me check SocialBlade.
The channel is making about $300/year. That’s nothing. They’re splitting this five ways, presumably. Each of the four guys and then Screenwave takes their cut. So it’s peanuts. Let’s just assume an even split for everyone, that’s $60 each. PER YEAR. For making a “podcast” every week.
So nobody in their right mind would continue with this unless they were passionate about the project. They enjoyed doing it. It would seem that these guys did not enjoy doing it. They were just looking for a quick cash grab. Well, enjoy your sixty bucks.
I’ve listened to some podcasts over the years. If you like the person or people involved, you’ll listen to it even if it’s shit. And if you don’t like the person, you won’t listen to it even if it’s slickly produced and they have semi-interesting stuff to talk about.
I didn’t like any of these four guys. They were bland at best, aggressively annoying at worst. So I’m not watching that shit.
Still, I don’t think that I was in the target audience. I think that they were going for the middle school demographic. Same as with their individual channels.
Well, whatever. Ryan wanted a bigger return on his $0 investment so he pulled the plug, I guess. Didn’t want to put the time in to let an audience grow. Once kids start talking about that podcast on the playground, maybe it would become a success. No. Ryan was losing too much money on this podcast. Zero dollars every month. He couldn’t justify it any more.
I’ll get to the cancellation of Talk About Games tomorrow or whenever the video is released.
But yeah, Pegwarmers is still going. That thing can’t be making much money. About $1400 according to Social Blade. So a lot better than $300/year that Mouthfools was getting but still not much.
And actually, Pegwarmers seems to get fewer views than Mouthfools. They’re making more money because there are a lot more videos and he’s been doing this for years. He has slightly more subscribers than Mouthfools but it’s similar.
Pegwarmers is watchable, though. The guy doing the podcast isn’t a showman but he’s reasonably amicable. Reasonably intelligent. He’s not annoying.
And the show has a structure. Toy news. New toys that you’ve purchased. Now we’re going to talk about Sectaurs.
It’s all done in person. None of this Skype bullshit. They have guest hosts. The guest hosts are never too annoying.
This is how it’s done. It’s not that hard.
Compare it to Hack the Movies, which is another podcast under the glorious Screenwave umbrella. He’s going after the horntard market. And look at the end result. It’s unwatchable. I don’t want to watch a Horseface woman talking about hot chicks for two hours. That’s stupid.
Give the audience some credit and put out a semi-intelligent product. That’s what Pegwarmers does. And they’re talking about toys. I don’t even give a shit about toys and I watch it. Every episode. No problem.
And then there’s The Cinemassacre Podcast. Holy shit. I place 90% of the blame for that podcast on James, who refused to engage AT ALL with ANYTHING. The remaining 10% of blame goes to Justin Silverman and his idiotic segment ideas. “What’cha Watching, What’cha Reading, What’cha Drinking” and so forth. An idea that he abandoned after a few episodes. So then everything just became entirely directionless. They started trying anything at that point. Then before you know it, James Rolfe is reading from a book about the lost city of Atlantis.
They were constantly trying to prod James to say something. Find a topic that he would actually engage with. Poop worked, when James talked passionately about wanting a buffalo to literally defecate on his face, but you can’t have scat talk every episode. So the only other thing that worked was fucking Rex Viper.
It is so fucking disgusting to watch that episode where James is with Rex Viper. That’s the only episode where he seems to enjoy what he’s doing. In everything else, it’s a total fucking chore to him. He HATES being on the podcast. But when Rex Viper is there, he’s the life of the party.
Anyway, Mouthfools. We hardly knew ye.
-
WTF Wednesday Review: The Exorcist – Newt Wallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woFhlbXKdtc
PVC Bondage girl is back in Newt’s kitchen. Is she just living there now? This was recorded on a different day from previous ones because she has different bondage gear on and she has her horrible makeup.
6:45 – PVC Bondage Girl is critiquing the film for not using the proper psychological terms. She really seems to be interested in psychology. Uh huh. Let’s just put this on my ever expanding list of why I don’t like PVC Bondage Girl and move on.
7:15 – Oh. We can’t. She continues.
PVC Bondage Girl: They also refer to DID as ‘split personality, which, again, 1973. Which is funny because right before they said that, I compared something that she did to when I switched to one of my alters.
Ideas Man: I guess that you should tell people what you have.
PVC Bondage Girl: Yes. I have DID. Hi.
Hi, PVC Bondage Girl. Let me look “DID” up since I, like just about everybody on earth, don’t know what this is. But people with mental health problems LOVE talking about their mental health problems and they always use these abbreviations that nobody fucking knows.
Dissociative identity disorder.
Someone with DID has multiple, distinct personalities. The various identities control a person’s behavior at different times. The condition can cause memory loss, delusions or depression. DID is usually caused by past trauma.
Oh.
So PVC Bondage Girl was talking about the movie and then she just casually started talking about how she was reminded of the time when she slipped into one of her “alters”. Like anybody has a fucking clue what she’s talking about.
And Newt is just sitting there smiling, “Oh, sure. Alters. Tell the people at home what an alter is.”
Who the fuck would advertise this? If you have some mental health problems, I’m sympathetic. Go speak to a competent psychiatrist. Not the shit “therapist” who Newt goes to.
But you don’t have to go on fucking Youtube, in your PVC bondage gear and crazy makeup and say, “Hi. I slip into my alters on the regular.”
She continues, “I’ve been diagnosed since I was 18. I referenced it in another review, I think.”
I’m pretty sure that I would have remembered this. Maybe I missed one.
“I have DID. I can talk more about that on the Discord or another review or whatever.”
Why? What’s the relevance? Come on. This is a fucking movie review. If you want to talk about your traumas and mental health problems, talk to a friend (not creepy ass Newt who is just trying to have sex with you) or a trained psychiatrist. Not fucking retards on Youtube.
8:15 – She’s referencing the movie, “And I thought, even before they said that, ‘Hey, that looks like my one alter’”
Do any of your “alters” enjoy reviewing movies? Can you switch to that one, please?
“Because you’ve seen me disassociate once. I don’t think it was a good time. I’m sorry. But I don’t know if you saw that particular alter because I don’t remember.”
Great.
And Newt is just sitting there. Oh yeah. Alters. I remember that time when you disassociated. Wanna have sex later?
Then Newt says that he saw that alter. So PVC Bondage Girl says, “Oh, you were familiar with me screaming at the top of my lungs then.”
Then she talks about a friend she had who was writing a comic book about a superhero with “DID”. This guy interviewed her “alters”. Fuck off. Come on. Can we get back to The Exorcist, please?
11:00 – “I’m also very ametaphobic.”
I…what? Let me try to look this up.
Emetophobia. Fear of vomit.
Oh sure. How fucking retarded of me not to know what that is. I’m a real idiot. Everybody knows what Emetophobia is. What’s wrong with me?
11:15 – PVC Bondage Girl tells a sex joke that she saw on the internet.
PVC Bondage Girl: Stolen jokes on the internet.
Ideas Man: Whoa! Don’t do that!
PVC Bondage Girl: No, I didn’t mean that.
Newt making light of his lifelong passion for plagiarism.
13:15 – PVC Bondage Girl twitches and Newt asks if she’s alright and she says that it happens sometimes.
14:30 – PVC Bondage Girl can’t watch some Invisible Man movie because of her “multiple, unfortunate, abusive relationships.”
And Newt is just sitting there while all of this craziness is going on. Yeah. Multiple abusive relationships. Great. Sex later?
We don’t fucking care about your abusive relationships, PVC Bondage Girl. I mean…I don’t condone abuse but I don’t even know if there was any abuse. And why has she had so many? You can’t just throw this shit out there without any explanation. And there’s no reason to throw any of this out there anyway DURING A FUCKING MOVIE REVIEW.
Look at Bobdunga and her many year campaign against Relax Alax over “abuse”. That guy didn’t do fucking shit except be a gay man who wasn’t interested in Bobdunga. But Bobdunga, who’s fucking nuts, is convinced that this guy abused her. I don’t doubt that she’s sincere in her belief but she’s totally mistaken because she’s MENTALLY ILL. Just like PVC Bondage Girl.
Horseface, same thing. She claimed that Newt was abusive because he moved to Nevada. Let me repeat that. Horseface thinks that Newt was abusive because he MOVED TO NEVADA. How the fuck is that abusive? It isn’t. But again, Horseface is mentally ill.
It’s irresponsible to have mentally ill people on your Youtube show accusing people of abusing them. Maybe there was abuse, maybe there wasn’t. But this person is mentally ill and we don’t know what the truth is. So just edit it out. What does this shit add to the discussion anyway? Nothing. This is a movie review for fuck’s sake.
“One of whom stalked me both before we dated, while were dating, and after we broke up.”
Oh sure. Who doesn’t get into a relationship with somebody who “stalks” them? “Boy, this creepy guy who’s always hiding in the bushes and masturbating is really cute. I think I’d like to go to Burger King with him some time.”
18:45 – Newt gives his idiotic pun title for a Napoleon porn movie. More moronic sex talk from The Ideas Man.
20:00 – PVC Bondage Girl keeps wincing and complaining about her shoulder. She sure has a lot of problems.
20:45 – PVC Bondage Girl suggests that she’s Swedish. Uh huh.
By the way, I’m reading the chat. Newt “premiered” this. Everybody just ignores PVC Bondage Girl’s crazy talk.
22:15 – PVC Bondage Girl declares her love for maggots. Great. Moving on.
23:00 – PVC Bondage Girls says that she worked in a veterinarian office “for many years.” Presumably, her father’s practice. She gave that up to work in movie theatres, I guess. They’re comparable jobs, I guess. I assume she was a receptionist or something.
Newt leaves a comment in the chat, “this is an unfocused review.” Indeed, Ideas Man.
There’s still another twenty minutes of this shit.
26:15 – “People think I’m hailing Satan when I do the fucking metal horns.”
What the fuck does she think it means if not a reference to Satan? I know it’s a heavy metal thing but…they’re referencing Satan.
I made it to 40 minutes. That’s good enough. There are only five minutes left but…I’ve reached my limit.
Horntards:
– “I haven’t tuned in in a few weeks, your new ¿girlfriend? is pretty Noot, I’m happy to see you surrounding yourself with good people”
Newt replies, “That’s Metz. They are a former employee of mine at the theater and a good friend for 6 years. Plus Metz girl friend could beat me up. But I agree I have a much smaller group around me these days. But all are good people. Its nice to have a sucker. I mean friend. Who will still come talk movies with me”
He refers to Metz as “they”. Is that because Newt can’t write for shit or because that’s her preferred pronoun?
Anyway, this guy can be forgiven for assuming that PVC Bondage Girl is Newt’s girlfriend. That’s clearly the vibe that they’re giving off with the constant sex talk.
And yeah, Newt wants everybody to feel sorry for him while at the same time shitting on his current “friends”. “Oh, everybody left me. I don’t know why. It can’t be because I plagiarise everything. At least I managed to rekindle my friendship with lunatics like PVC Bondage Girl, somebody who I dropped like a steaming pile of shit when I started working at Screenwave.”
So what did we learn about The Exorcist? Well, we learned that PVC Bondage Girl has “DID”. We learned that she was in a lot of abusive relationships. And we learned that she has emetophobia. Interesting.
It’s a shame that people like PVC Bondage Girl have multiple personalities but then you have people like Erin Plays who don’t have any. Come on, PVC Bondage Girl. Quit hogging all of the personalities. Let Erin have one.
-
James Rolfe's Hair
https://www.youtube.com/AngryNintendoNerd/videos
James Rolfe is a bald man who makes Youtube videos. He’s self-conscious about his baldness so he’ll often wear baseball caps. He doesn’t wear caps in the Angry Video Game Nerd videos because, at least in his mind, that’s not the “character”. So instead, he just does really weird shit to make it sort of look like he has hair. He uses spray on hair and/or he makes use of the combover or something.
It looks fucking terrible.
Now, I’m sympathetic. I started losing my hair when I was 21. It was noticeable probably by my mid 20s. When I was in my late 20s, a Chinese woman who I met from a dating site remarked, “Oh, you’re losing your hair.”
When I was 29, I was in my bathroom and I happened to take a hand mirror to try to see how bad it was. I could not fucking believe it. Why did nobody tell me how bad this was? The balding in the front had met the balding in the back.
Years later, I retold this story to my girlfriend and how I couldn’t believe how nobody told me how bad this looked. Co-workers, for example. She said that it would be inappropriate and it’s not their business. I suppose it’s true. It’s difficult to tell a co-worker, “Hey, you’re really going bald. You might want to do something about that.” It’s easy for somebody to get offended by that.
On the other hand, it would have been helpful. Because most people don’t know what the top of their head looks like.
So when I saw how bad it looked on that fateful day, I immediately took some clippers, put a number 4 guard on it, and trimmed it all down. Then over the next four months or so, I went down to a 2 guard. Then I just shaved it entirely.
There was a transition period. People asked about it. But eventually, when you meet new people, that’s just who you are. They don’t know you from when you had hair. So it’s not an issue.
For a short while, I’d go to baldness acceptance forums where people would post pictures of The Rock and other sexy bald men to make themselves feel better. And that’s fine. But I didn’t find this particularly helpful.
It’s just something you get over. I had hair. Now I don’t have hair. It happens to loads of men. Let’s move on.
What I didn’t do was start wearing a baseball cap, using hair in a can, or doing a combover. Because this isn’t the 1970s.
What about getting a toupee? That would be another retro response to baldness. Maybe James can try that.
Didn’t Sy Sperling die recently? Yeah. In 2020.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HairClub
Oh, they do surgical hair transplants. I thought that they did like weaves. So toupees. Maybe they did but now they’ve moved on to surgical hair transplants because that’s where the market has moved to.
So that’s another option. Why doesn’t Jimmy do that? Fucking what’s his name, that annoying gay man who was in that boxing event did that. Nathan Barnatt. James knows him. Why doesn’t he ask for some advice? Jimmy must have the money.
In some ways, Jimmy is lucky to have total strangers telling him that his hair looks awful and he needs to do something about it. This is a luxury. If he weren’t on Youtube, he wouldn’t know that his hair looks like shit. Because nobody would tell him.
I recommend just cutting it down with clippers using a number two guard. Do that once a week. It’s not a big deal. It takes ten minutes. Ten minutes a week. James must have time for that. Then you can go down to no guard. Or shave it.
It wouldn’t affect the channel. There’s that other annoying Youtuber, Nostalgia Critic, I don’t think shaving his head caused viewership to plummet. Nobody cares. It’s the lousy videos that cause the view numbers to go down.
And he’s married so who cares about picking up chicks? Does he think his wife is going to leave him if he shaved his head? She married somebody who has severe mental impairments. Seven and a half years in special education. He’s deeply autistic and/or possibly mentally retarded. If she can overlook that, she can overlook anything. James Rolfe might be the most successful retard of all time in terms of relationships and professionally.
And anyway, I don’t think that hair even plays a role in being able to pick up the ladies. Whether you have hair or not, you can still get the ladies. I don’t think that there’s any significant downgrade in terms of quantity or quality of women when you shave your head.
What the ladies aren’t interested in is this weird Larry Fine shit. Combovers, hair in a can, baseball caps: it all screams gross insecurity. That’s a turnoff.
-
Underrated Animated Batman Movies – Tony from Hack The Movies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmRGrZsDxq8
Oh, we’ve got Horseface McGee and Kirk Douglas. Probably my least favourite pairing.
And how the fuck is Horseface going to talk about hot chicks? They’re talking about cartoons. Well, I’m sure she’ll find a way.
0:30 – But first a word from our scam sponsor.
Get some integrity.
2:30 – Tony says, “I see you’ve got the Batgirl shirt on” and then Horseface shakes her tits. And she’s wearing half a top. And Tab Hunter really gets excited by this.
Well…it seems that Horseface didn’t learn anything from her recent experience here on the blog. Same old narcissistic behaviour.
Maybe this was filmed before she left that comment, though. Maybe going forward she’s going to be more humble and wear an entire top.
Anyway, then Horseface starts flirting with Pat Boone over here.
Is Pat Boone even alive any more? Holy shit. He is. I remember his weird attempt at contemporary music in “the 90s”.
10:15 – Well, she did it. First comment that Horseface made is talking about a hot cartoon character. She doesn’t even know the name of the character. She just knows that she’s hot. Killer Frost, apparently. Horseface thought it was Killer Freeze.
Horseface…all of the characters look the same. They all have the same big tits. They’re all slim. It’s the same exact fucking body type for every female character. So you don’t have to mention which ones you find attractive. Let’s just assume that you find them all attractive and want to have sex with them. Fine. Now that that’s established, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!
Let me peruse the comments. I’ll search for “crystal”. Presumably, this is how Horseface looks at the comments too.
– “Please stop bringing Crystal. I really wanted to watch this topic but i cant stand her.”
In fairness, that was after like 20, “Crystal is hot” comments. And it was only posted an hour ago, as of me typing this. Is Tony deleting comments?
Anyway, back to this dogshit.
13:00 – Crystal is giving her choice for favourite animated Batman movie. “My first choice is actually going to be Batman Beyond:Joker’s Return.” Then Tony corrects her, “Return of the Joker.”
She’s a big Batman fan, guys.
This is her favourite Batman animated movie. And she really likes Batman. She reads the comics. She plays the video games. She’s consuming all of the Batman media.
Doesn’t know the name of her favourite Batman animated movie.
At first I was thinking, “Well, who cares? I don’t know the names of any Batman animated movies.” But that’s because I don’t give a fuck about this stuff. I don’t pretend to be a middle aged Batman fan. Horseface does.
16:30 – “What I liked also was the colours in this movie, like when they’re in the club scene and stuff like that. I thought that those colours were really cool. A lot of colours were awesome in this movie.”
Erin is watching this shit and just seething. Horseface stole her material. Well, maybe as revenge, Erin can start talking about how hot she is and how everybody wants to have sex with her.
17:00 – Tony gives a weird shout out to his sister who might be “popping out twins” as we watch this. Umm…what can I even say? Let’s move on.
19:45 – Horseface struggles to remember the name Commissioner Gordon. She got “Commissioner” out but took a while to remember “Gordon”.
Now, come on. I don’t give a fuck about Batman but I know Commissioner Gordon. From the 1960s tv show.
Anyway, Horseface is all about Batman.
23:00 – They’re talking about some other movie. Tony doesn’t like the movie. Horseface says, “But it’s beautiful too. The colours?”
Yeah. Hues, Horseface. They’re everywhere. Everywhere you look: colour. You can’t escape colours. Well, in the dark, I guess. But even then, black is a colour. Maybe we’re getting a little philosophical now. Colour talk will do that.
44:15 – Horseface is now talking about her second choice. “It has a lot of adult humour. Holy shit!”
Eugh. It’s just constant. We get it, Horseface. You’re a very sexual person. And everybody wants to have sex with you. Great. You go do that.
But can you shut the fuck about it for just seventy minutes? There’s more to life. Maybe talk about the fucking Batman movies during this.
“I love Harley. I truly, truly love Harley Quinn.”
One might say that Harley Quinn is a hot chick. A hot animated chick. Great. Do you want to talk about something else, Horseface?
“And the fact that there’s also Poison Ivy. These are my two favourite female characters. I’m like, yes. Yes.”
Another hot cartoon chick who Horseface wants to have sex with. Guess what, Horseface? Neither of those cartoon women would give you the time of day. So talk about something else.
45:00 – “This is the one with Super Babes, right?”
It’s constant with her. Then she has the nerve to come to a fine blog like GamerGrrlsOfficial and say, “I don’t understand where the hate comes from.”
This is where it comes from. The constant fucking comments about hot chicks and how hot you are. She can’t even talk about a CARTOON without talking about hot chicks.
46:00 – Horseface is talking about Super Babes. “Think of it like Hooters where all the waitresses are dressed up in the sexiest version of like Catwoman and Batwoman and stuff like that.”
This is completely shameful. There’s something wrong with her. It’s a cartoon, Horseface. Can you even watch a fucking cartoon without getting turned on by hot chicks?
“And the guys are trying to grab her ass and she flips him and breaks his arm, which I think is great.”
Super.
I’m pretty sure that this was just a brief scene in the movie. But Horseface isn’t shutting up about this. This is her entire fucking review. Just this brief scene involving hot cartoon chicks.
47:00 – “Like she’s straight up bending over, just in bra and panties.”
It’s a cartoon, Horseface. Relax.
God, this is awful. “Where does the hate come from? I don’t get it. I was bullied my whole life over my appearance.”
“And then she straight up sees that he’s hard.”
Is this what the movie is about? Horseface doesn’t even remember the movie. She struggled to summarise it. Then she didn’t even know if this was the movie that had this Super Babes thing in it. She was talking about how all of the Batman cartoons she’s seen blend together. But she knows every fucking detail of this Super Babes scene and she’s going to talk about it ad nauseum. This is her fucking review of the movie.
Tony: It’s a boner. Like Jesus Christ.
Horseface: Yeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!!!
I don’t even know what more I can say. Why is anybody watching this? Why does Tony encourage this? Horseface should not be on the fucking show. She’s terrible. She’s horrendous. Every time she’s on here, it’s the same god damn thing. Hot chicks. How hot Horseface is. Everybody wants to have sex with Horseface. Half a top. Fuck off.
Okay, I’m at 53:00. They’ve stopped talking about the movie. Seriously, watch this entire “review” that Horseface did. I have NO IDEA what the movie is about because all she did was talk about that one scene in Super Babes. That’s it. That’s her review. What the fuck is this? How can this possibly be competent? Who would go on a show like this and have THIS be their review? Didn’t she write anything out? Didn’t she plan anything?
What kind of notes did she take?
– Poison Ivy is hot
– Harley Quinn is hot
– I like hot chicks
– Ass grabbing scene
– Boners are coolIt’s shit. YOU’RE shit. Stop appearing on the fucking show. You’re terrible. You’re ruining the greatness that is Hack the Movies aka Talking About Tapes.
54:15 – Tony is talking about his pick.
Tony: Eliza (somebody) is Catwoman in it.
Horseface: NICE! NICE!!!
Oh. Horseface is talking about hot chicks again.
“I don’t understand where the hate comes from.”
Really? You still don’t? How much clearer can I make it?
Then Tony says that Brian Cranston is also in this movie. Horseface has nothing to say. He’s not a hot chick.
57:45 – So the video is over but Tony thinks that it’s too short so they’re going to talk about bullshit for the next ten minutes. He thinks that a 57 minute video is too short. No. This was 57 minutes too long.
1:02:00 – Tony says, “Depending how this video does, we can do best Superman animated movie, best Justice League movie.”
Why does every decision have to hinge on how many views you get? This is exactly why we’re stuck with Horseface. Horntards like Horseface. So even though she’s fucking god awful, she’s the most frequent co-host for this shit.
The best co-hosts are Kieran and what’s his name…the fat guy. I always forget. Justin Silverman. But they’re never on here because the horntards aren’t watching that shit. If the horntards want to watch fat guys, they’ll just jerk off in front of a mirror.
But if you’re interested in actually producing the best videos possible, Kieran and Justin are the obvious choices.
1:02:00 – Richard Harris starts giving shoutouts to the director of the movies that he chose. Because this guy is a real thespian. He knows all about the movie industry. He played Bar Patron in the 2021 short film Something Borrowed. Such a memorable role that was.
1:05:15 – Serge Reggiani gives his Instagram account. What guy uses fucking Instagram? And this is what he gives as his main social media account. Instead of Twitter. He just wants guys to jerk off over how hot he is.
He also says that he has a few movies coming out. Oh. Will you playing a security guard again? Oh no. He’s Tough Guy this time. Well, we can all look forward to that. He’s also Doctor in a recent movie. Great.
1:05:30 –
Tony: Crystal, where can we find you?
Horseface: Ooh. Where do you want to find me?
Let’s just move on. I don’t want to give my answer.
Horseface: Some dad’s beds? Because I’m also single.
What? I feel like I should say something…but it’s also all self-explanatory.
She says that she broke up with her boyfriend of nine years. He was an alcoholic. He had PTSD from some war, presumably.
And now she’s on Youtube talking about wanting to having sex with people’s fathers? What? What is this? Why would she say that? It’s grossly disrespectful to this guy. This guy who, by the way, we never heard ONE WORD about before the relationship ended. Nine years she was with with that guy. Never mentioned him. She wanted the horntards to think that they had a chance.
What does her answer even have to do with the question? Tony was asking what her Twitter is. And her response was, “I want to have sex with people’s fathers.” It’s insane.
Tony: I told Crystal after the last breakup, stop trying to fix your dad.
Horseface: I don’t want to fix him, I just want to fuck him.
What? Why is she constantly talking about sex? And with her father in this case.
Horseface: I’m very much like Harley Quinn.
John Wayne: Does Harley want to fuck her dad?
Horseface: Harley just wants to fuck. I get it. You’re my spirit animal.
This is vile. And this is a fucking horse-faced woman saying all of this. But I guess that’s a secondary issue. Even if it was a hot chick, WHICH IT ISN’T, this would be tedious in the extreme. And gross. And boring. REALLY, REALLY boring.
Then Tony ends the video by shilling for his Patreon. You can get wallpaper like it’s fucking 2006. What about ringtones, Tony? Can we get some ringtones?
-
Lady Decade Cries Over Copyright Threat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAb7KCHrda8
She’s since removed the video so here’s a review from some Canadian Gamer. He has a few clips from the original video.
From what I can gather, Lady Decade used a copyrighted image in one of her videos so some guy threatened to sue her if she didn’t pay €700. So she made this video where she’s crying hysterically, her breasts are out, and she says that she doesn’t have the money to pay this. So she encourages the horntards to sign up to her Patreon to pay for this.
This all happened like two weeks ago. She’s subsequently taken down the video. Canadian Gamer talks about that here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-n7IPFRq40
He gives a shoutout to TheGebs24, who apparently messaged him on Twitter and didn’t have a favourable opinion of Lady Decade’s behaviour.
Why the fuck did nobody tell me about any of this? Well, I guess that I’m the investigative journalist here. It’s my responsibility. So I dropped the ball on this one.
But what Canadian Gamer and others who have covered this seem to be focusing on is that she’s crying over €700 while sitting in front of a small fortune of video games. And €700 isn’t much anyway. She should be able to pay that.
That’s all true but my view is why would she agree to pay that anyway? Some lunatic sends you a threatening email saying, “Give me €700 or I’m suing.” I say bring it. File the claim. If not, shut the fuck up. You’re not getting a penny.
Destiny Fomo aka Madam Fomo used to do false copyright strikes on me all the time. So what happens is you have to file a counter-notice claiming that it’s actually your content. Google just sends you this form whenever there’s a copyright claim. You fill it out and it all looks official and legal, you have to swear to tell the truth, and then you say that it’s your stuff and the claim is erroneous.
Madam Fomo uses fake names and address for these claims. It’s all bullshit. But if she wants to go to court over the banner art or whatever other ridiculous claims, fucking do it. Until then, fuck off.
These threatening letters are worthless. I get them semi-regularly. Some company, usually the electric company because they’re completely incompetent will claim that I owe money. If I owe the money, I pay it. If I don’t, fuck them. File a claim if you think you’re in the right.
And I’ve filed claims against these various electric companies numerous times. Probably twenty times. There’s a free arbitration service that all of these companies have to sign up to. I’ve won every fucking time. You get £50 to £100 and, if applicable, they cancel whatever debt that they claim you owe. The paltry sums that you’re awarded aren’t worth the hassle but I have time on my hands. It’s all done online and you can file a claim over just about anything.
Letting agents will also always try to fuck you out of your deposit and shit like this. They’re always trying to fuck with you. So I say, “Okay, let’s go to the arbitration service.” Then they try to settle. Nothing doing. Let’s present our cases to the learned members of the panel.
It’s no fucking problem. I’m always happy to go to the free arbitration service for these landlord/tenant issues. I’ve won every fucking time. I’ve got thousands of pounds out of this. These letting agents are complete scumbags so you can always get them on something.
Debt collectors, same thing. Those threatening letters are worthless. If you think you’re owed money, file a claim in court.
There’s also a tv license in the UK. If you watch tv, you’re required to have a tv license. It costs £150 a year or something. I used to have a license, back when I had a tv. It’s no problem. I didn’t mind paying. But I haven’t had a tv in many years. I don’t watch tv through any medium. I watch Youtube. I don’t need a license for that.
So I get these threatening letters from the tv license people all the time. Every week or so. Ever since my tv broke so I stopped paying, which was like ten years ago.
They’re worthless. Fucking file a claim in court if you think I’m supposed to pay this.
But here you have Lady Decade crying with her tits out, begging the horntards to give her money over this preposterous letter. You don’t have to pay €700 for using somebody’s picture in a Youtube video. It’s ridiculous. No court would uphold that. Where did they come up with the figure of €700?
Where would the court even be located? Presumably, the guy sending this letter lives in mainland Europe because he’s asking for euros. Is he going to come to England for the court case? Because she lives in England. He’s going to hire an English solicitor over this? It would all cost a fortune. And he has no case. So he’s not going to do shit. Anyone with a brain knows this.
From what I’ve gathered, she actually paid this. Somebody gave her the money. What a moron.
So now anybody can just send her a threatening letter and she’ll make a video where she’s crying with her tits out and then pay you the money. Why stop at €700? Ask for €10,000 and a copy of Mario Kart. Apparently, she pays. Just come up with some bullshit and send the letter out. Total idiot. How is she getting through life on a day to day basis?
