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  • The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya Trailer – Bobdunga/Ray Mona

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFmgBo41IV0

    What even is this?  It’s one minute and eleven seconds of Bobdunga taking close up videos of one of her toys.  This is insane, it’s pretentious, and it tells us NOTHING about ANYTHING.  

    I had to look it up.  Saint Seiya is an anime.  I guess.  There were seven tv series and six movies.  There were also a bunch of comic books or “manga”, if you prefer.

    If you’d like to learn more, consult Wikipedia.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Seiya

    So…The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya is an unreleased…movie or tv show?  I guess?  It’s nowhere on the Wikipedia article and I couldn’t find anything from a quick DuckDuckGo search.

    There’s something to be said about trailers just giving a little tease and leaving you wanting more but…I don’t give a shit about this.  At all.  

    It’s just going to be another stupid video from crazy Bobdunga where she goes all X-Files on us, interviews some shadowy people who don’t give a shit about any of this, and then the thing turns out to be in The Library of Congress.  She’ll describe the entire process in minute detail down to what she had for breakfast each day.  And her and her Youtube pals will talk about what idiots the audience are.  Right there in the video.  Oh, and she’ll insert a lot of footage of ladyboys into the video for no apparent reason.

    There is a lot of lost media out there so maybe Saint Dungalous is on to something.  But you don’t have to limit yourself to fucking anime.  

    I’d like to see the entire series of The Super released.  The only footage that seems to exist is this poor-quality intro on Youtube:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzwiZZ7nbrE

    It was never released on any physical media, as far I’m aware.  It’s not on Youtube.  It’s not on the pirate sites.  Indeed, according to the Lost Media Archive, there’s no footage anywhere.

    https://lostmediaarchive.fandom.com/wiki/The_Super_(Lost_1972_ABC_Sitcom)

    But that’s just one of many, many examples of tv shows that don’t exist any more.  There was a similar show in the late 1980s or early 1990s that starred a very famous, very Jewish actor but I can’t remember his name or the name of the show.  The show only lasted a few episodes before it was cancelled.  

    Chicken Soup.  That’s what I was thinking of.  Where can I watch this?  Nowhere, according to a quick search.  All I can find is the opening.  

    Oh.  I found the last half of the pilot episode on Daily Motion.  But where’s the rest?  I guarantee that you can not find the entire series anywhere on the internet.  Maybe there’s some obsessive Chicken Soup fan out there who has them all in his personal VHS collection but he’s not releasing it.

    Or what about Hooperman?  I’m just naming shows that sound similar.  The Super, Chicken Soup, Hooperman.  They all have the “ooh” sound in them.  But show me the complete collection of Hooperman.  You can’t find it.  Lost media.

    And this was a fucking John Ritter show.  People like John Ritter.  And it lasted a couple of years.  It was from the late 1980s.  All you can find is the opening.  People really seem to like to save the opening theme song for shows but not the actual shows.

    It’s not even really about how old the shows are.  There are plenty of shows from the 1980s, 1990s, probably even 2000s that you just can’t find anywhere.  

    Nerd shit always gets preserved.  Star Trek was probably the first show to be uploaded to the internet.  Some nerd in his mother’s basement.  It has never been difficult to find any of that shit.  Star Trek (all series), Twillight Zone, even more obscure stuff like Babylon Five or Sliders or whatever.  If it’s some nerdy science fiction shit, you can easily find it on the internet, no matter how obscure.  Because the nerds are interested in this shit.

    Nerds don’t care about Chicken Soup.  So it’s gone.

    Obviously, the further you go back, the more likely it is that footage no longer exists.  There are many tens or hundreds of thousands of forgotten tv shows.  

    Virtually all game shows don’t exist.  Even fairly modern stuff.  Show me the entire run of The Price is Right.  I want to watch every single episode.  Can’t be done.  Nobody has it.  

    Same with soap operas.  You might think that people would want to see that . Well, maybe they do but nobody recorded all of that shit.  Or if they did, they haven’t put it on the internet.  There must be loads of people who want to watch the 12 June 1992 episode of Days of Our Lives but they’re just fucked.  The episode isn’t available.

    Talk shows, same thing.  I want to watch the Tempestt Bledsoe (Vanessa from The Cosby Show) talk show where she did an episode on “bra makeovers”.  She did a lot of “bra makeover” episodes, actually.  But I can’t.  No footage exists.

    Or what about Tony Danza’s short-lived talk-show.  Not available anywhere.

    And it’s not just obscure shit.  I want to watch every episode of The Jerry Springer Show.  Or Donahue.  I can’t.  

    Any daytime shit is just considered disposable.  Even the people who produced this shit likely don’t have it.  Maybe they re-used tapes or whatever so the footage is just gone.  

    But also stuff like The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  I believe that Johnny Carson was upset to learn that they recorded over his shows so he started making his own archive of shows.  But as a result of recording over shows or whatever, loads of that shit is gone.

    David Letterman’s videos only exist because an autistic weirdo named Don Giller recorded every episode.  He’s apparently working for David Letterman now.  Here’s his channel.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/dongiller

    That guy is a giant fucking asshole to everybody who ever leaves a comment.  He has extreme autism.  But it’s this extreme autism that lead him to record every episode.

    Nevertheless, this is just this guy’s personal archive.  He hasn’t uploaded anywhere near his entire collection on to the internet.  As far as I’m aware, the vast majority of it is just on VHS tapes.  

    Local news broadcasts are another example of lost media.  Even national news broadcasts.  If I want to watch a particular episode of ABC World News Tonight starring Peter Jennings from 1988, is it available anywhere?  I don’t think so.

    Locally-produced children’s television is mostly gone. 

    And this is just American stuff.  The non-American stuff, virtually all of it, it’s gone.  

    You can go on and on and on.  There’s loads of lost media.  So I suggest that Bobdunga focus her “journalistic” efforts on some of this shit.  Fuck anime.  There are enough nerds out there already who are preserving anime.  You don’t have to worry about anime.  Every anime that has ever been produced is out there and fairly easy to access.

    ,

  • Crystal Quin Likes Jeffrey Dahmer

     https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1572711667406086145

    “Anyone else excited this came out today???”

    And she links to a Jeffrey Dahmer movie or something.

    She’s made references in the past to her fondness for serial killers.  She also demonstrated a superficial, at best, knowledge of these serial killers.

    But she knows that this is something that degenerates who are interested in horror shit pretend to like so she’s pretending to like serial killers.

    Just add this to your list of reasons why Horseface is a detestable person.  

    Not even Kris Glavin replied to this tweet.  He presumably also finds this shit repellent.  Smokeshow or not, there’s nothing sexy about aggrandising murderers.  

    People who are interested in Halloween are always extreme bores.  Horseface does this a lot.  She’s all about Halloween.  Or pretends to be.  It’s some kind of a replacement for a personality.

    I knew a guy in high school who was really into Halloween.  He was gay.  SUPER gay.  So that’s another thing.  Guys who are into Halloween are often really, really gay.  They like the dressing up aspect of the holiday.  It’s the one day of the year they can wear makeup without risking insulting comments and the like from the less enlightened members of society.

    I wonder what that guy’s doing now.  Probably getting fucked in the ass.  

    Well, I suppose that we have to talk about Jeffrey Dahmer but I do this under duress.  Nobody is uploading anything and I’m out of emergency articles.

    I read a comic book about him called My Friend Dahmer.  It was about his life in high school.  Some guy who went to school with him wrote it.  It was alright.  I think that they also made it into a movie or something.  I didn’t see it.

    A lot of the reviews for this comic book on Goodreads are critical of the author for “bullying” Dahmer.  I didn’t get this at all when reading this.  I suspect that these people are just the sort of lunatics, like Horseface, who idolise serial killers.

    These are the type of people who would read something like this, after all.  I only read it because my girlfriend mentioned that she saw the movie based on the comic book and found Dahmer to be a strange guy.  Yeah.  He was an odd fellow.  You needed to watch the movie to figure that out?  

    Anyway, I didn’t want to watch the movie so I read the comic book instead.  

    Here’s a more life-affirming comic that I read and enjoyed:

    https://www.topshelfcomix.com/ts2.0/guts

    It’s about a guy who was on that 1990s Nickelodeon gameshow Guts.  It’s amusing and well done.

    I watched Guts regularly but my problem with the show is that the Aggro Crag, which is the final event, scores you so many points that it doesn’t even matter how you did during the events.  You can lose every event and if you win the Aggro Crag, you win the whole fucking game.  So the events are meaningless.

    Actually, let me check this.  I’m sure that this isn’t 100% accurate.

    So there are four events before the Aggro Crag.  You get 300 points for first place, 200 for second, and 100 for third.

    Then there’s the Aggro Crag.  You get 725 for first place, 550 for second, 275 for third.

    Let’s say that you go in with last place in every event and somebody else gets first place in every event.  That would put you at 400 points and the person in first place at 1200 points.

    Then if you win the Aggro Crag that would put you at 1125 total and if the person in first place got last place, they’d be at 1575 points.

    So no.  It’s not quite as extreme as I thought.  

    Wikipedia says, “The increased point structure in the final event allows players overcome a deficit of as much as 300 points to win, despite earlier mistakes.”

    I’d like to see a breakdown on winners based on gender.  Because it seemed like guys almost always won.  It’s what you would expect.

    And it’s not even really about any physical advantages because these kids were like 11 to 13 years old.  But I would watch the show and you could see that the girls just didn’t have a competitive mentality.  They didn’t care about winning.  So they went out and had fun and whatever happens happens.  But the guys would go out there with the intention of winning.  It makes a huge difference.

    I’m not making any judgement here, it’s just an observation.  

    I remember playing dodgeball against the girls during recess.  Usually, the girls were on a different playground but that playground wasn’t available so we all were the same playground.  This was in the fifth grade so we would have been like 10 or 11 years old.

    It was a complete massacre.  The girls just screamed and ran in terror every time we had the ball.  I think that it was a shut out.  They didn’t get ANYBODY out.  

    Then afterwards, the teacher, who was a woman and watching all of this, said that we can’t play with the girls any more.  She described it as, “The most ridiculous game of dodgeball I’ve ever seen.”

    I don’t want to make any parallels to transgender athletes or anything but these are just things that we all know.  It’s farcical for boys to compete against girls in any kind of sporting activity.  Obviously more so for men versus women.

    Has it happened since Guts?  Or before?  I remember even at the time thinking that it’s insane.  Of course the guys are going to win.  

  • Monty Python and the Elden Ring – Cannot be Tamed

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFYf9DW0X2E

    More of the baffling comedy stylings of Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.  This is her second video of the week.  She never posts more than once a week.  She must have thought that this was really, really funny.  She just couldn’t wait.  

    It’s a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and she sort of marries up game footage to the scene.  The game is Elden Ring.  

    I’ve never seen any Monty Python.  That stuff has never remotely interested me.  Indeed, I’ve always been repelled by it.  Maybe it’s good.  I don’t know.  But I’m never going to watch that stuff.  It always struck me as hugely pretentious.  

    Anyway, the comments are overwhelmingly supportive.  People talk about how funny this video is and some nerds give Monty Python quotes.  These comments are in stark contrast to the videos where Pam does compilations of her “funny” moments on stream.  Those comments are largely along the, “Ummm…keep up the good work, I guess.  You’re so hot.” variety.  People are trying to be supportive because they jerk off to Pam but they’re totally bamboozled by the video and its purported comedy.

    This video at least makes sense.  And if you’re familiar with and enjoy the source material, you can probably appreciate it more.  

    There’s nothing going on with her Twitter.  Nothing on Instagram.  Let’s check out her defunct blog.  Maybe I can get some tips.

    https://cannotbetamedblog.wordpress.com/

    She stopped doing the blog in 2016.  It seems like she mostly talked about video games and promoted her various stuff.  Youtube and the god awful Media Maven/Harpie Maidens podcast that she did.

    She seems to do that annoying thing where she puts a bunch of pictures in the blog.  Like in the body of the article, there will be random pictures.  This is a common thing that one sees on blogs but I hate it.  It’s so insulting.  Like I’m some fucking moron who needs pictures every so often to keep me engaged.

    I did this for posts where I analyse Erin’s subscriber count and whatnot from SocialBlade and I also did it for the “casserole” article.  As here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/02/casserole-full-breakdown-erin-plays.html

    I suppose that these are some of the more interesting articles but the pictures are germane to the article.  Not just random bullshit like you see in so many blogs, including Pam’s.  But I don’t put pictures in much because it too much work, frankly.  And I would never just put random pictures in because it’s stupid.

    https://cannotbetamedblog.wordpress.com/2016/05/24/the-problem-with-patreon/

    In this article, she complains about people who don’t like Patreon.  This was a big thing in 2016, when Pam wrote this.  People didn’t much care for it.  Now it seems like nobody cares if you have a Patreon or not.  In 2016, people were concerned that all of the good content was going to be Patreon exclusive stuff.  But now we see what happened.  The stuff that gets posted on Patreon is just trash that nobody wants to see.  Patreon exists solely so that horntards have an outlet to piss their money away.

    So in the article, Pam says that she lost 17 subscribers when she did a video advertising her Patreon.  Who gives a shit?  Seventeen subscribers?  She wrote a whole fucking article about this.

    Anyway, I don’t think that Pam even has a Patreon now.  It’s not on her Linktree.

    https://linktr.ee/cannotbetamed

    Oh, she links to it in the article.  Here it is:

    https://www.patreon.com/pamd

    She has 196 “patrons” and she’s getting about $350/month.  Not sure how that works because the only tier is $1/month.  Or £1/month.  Or probably 1 CAD/month.  Still…I’m thinking that some people are giving more than $1 or whatever a month.  How else could 196 people giving one of whatever their local currency is equal $350?

    She’s still posting there.  One low-effort video a month.  Like clockwork.  They’re mostly about her plans for the month.  Who cares?

  • WTF Wednesday Review: PEARL – Newt Wallen

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPAW0RyDphg

    0:00 – It starts with this woman smoking.  Get used to this.  She smokes and drinks for the entire 27 minute video.  

    Where does Newt find these scumbags?  The VD clinic?  

    Can’t she put the fucking vape pen and the drink down for just 27 minutes?  Why does she think that we want to see this?  And hear this?  

    She must think that this looks cool.  I guess.  “Look at me not giving a fuck at how much of a scumbag I look like”.  

    You know, some people smoke to lose weight.  That doesn’t seem to be working here.  Maybe because it’s balanced out by whatever the fuck she’s drinking for the entire 27 minutes.

    She introduces herself as Kammy.  Newt says that he’s known this scumbag for over a decade.  

    0:30 – Newt says that he wanted to see X (whatever that is) at the cinema that he worked at but management refused, stating that it’s porn.  Newt disputes that it’s porn.  No.  I’m guessing that it’s porn.  But Newt is just all about tits and gore and, in his mind, he elevates this trash to something more than it is.

    And he says that he wanted to see this pornographic film with this fucking scumbag Cammy.  Who goes to a porn movie on a date?  Travis Bickle over here.

    By the way, here’s the description of X from Wikipedia, “The film’s plot follows a cast and crew who gather to make a pornographic film on an elderly couple’s rural Texas property, but find themselves threatened by an unlikely killer.”

    “It’s not about a porn” according to Newt.

    0:45 – If anybody can decipher this story from Cammy, let me know.  I can not understand a fucking word of this.

    Also, she’s…I don’t know…mixed race?  Hispanic?  

    1:45 – So she’s talking about X.  I have no idea what any of this is, by the way.  Pearl seems to be a movie that’s somehow related to X.  I guess.  I don’t know.

    “I thought X was great.  Like I said, it’s just — I like how the A-24 movies are really delving deep into the psyche of, like, how women are.  You know, I don’t want to drop the feminist card.”

    Yeah.  This is a real feminist over here.  Pornographic films are really exploring the female psyche.  I’d like to hear her views on the feminist overtones of Big Boob Bangaroo 4.

    And to anyone wondering what A-24 is, I have no fucking idea and I don’t give a shit.  It’s some stupid tits and gore shit, presumably.

    2:00 – Newt says, “I used to tell people that Midsummer was Joker for white ladies.”

    Newt, I’m sorry to inform you that you’re a white man.  

    The problem seems to be that Newt conflates whiteness with wealth.  No.  You can find white people in all socio-economic classes.  

    Newt is a member of the lumpenproletariat.  Most of the women he knows are likewise members of the lumpenproletariat.  And white.  So…I don’t know.  He just lacks the intellect to separate race from socio-economic class.

    7:45 – This fat chick is talking about some hot actor in the movie.  Well…it makes a slight change from Horseface’s tedious bullshit.  Different gender.

    8:15 – Newt starts talking about his deep knowledge about pornography.  “The stag film he shows her is called Deep Ride.  It’s the oldest still-existing stag film in history.  When I was in film school, we actually talked about that.”

    It’s sad that Newt thinks that he learned something in that film school.  He went tens of thousands of dollars in debt to watch porn.  Why?  This shit is free on the internet.  

    Pause at 8:51.  Newt is wearing some kind of pearl bracelet.  What the fuck?  Is Newt going to be a sexy lady now too?  Like Ryan Schott?  Anything for attention.

    13:00 – Kammy says that she’s Puerto Rican.  Yeah.  The giant hoop earrings lead me to think that she was Hispanic as opposed to mixed race.

    I wonder why giant hoop earrings are so popular in the Hispanic community.  And it’s been like this since I was a kid.  It’s just a classic, enduring look, I guess.  

    13:45 – In the chat, during the “premiere”, Newt says, “I want to be a 1970s Puerto rican disco queen.”

    Well…you’ve got the jewellery for it, Ideas Man.  Follow your dream.

    And I wonder how far down the neckline of this woman’s top goes.  To her naval?  Lower?  Is this just completely open?  Is this a jacket?  I don’t know.

    17:45 – “I’ve never known anyone whose gone above and beyond to try to make people like them and wind up losing everything so I don’t really know anything about that.”

    What?  You mean plagiarising for an autistic man’s Youtube channel?

    God.  Newt is such a victim.  Newt plagiarised and HE’S the victim.  Newt thinks that he was doing a GOOD thing by plagiarising.  He’s somehow justified all of this.  It’s insane but in his mind, he did the right thing by plagiarising those Monster Madness videos and it’s everyone else who’s a scumbag for not appreciating his plagiarism.

    And this woman looks uncomfortable as fuck when Newt is saying this weird shit.  Then she takes another sip of her beverage.  Of course.  This is what she’s been doing the whole fucking video.  

    18:45 – Newt claims that he’s “racist” because he doesn’t know the difference between crocodiles and alligators.  Everything is about race with Newt.  

    20:00 – This woman says, “I’ve done ghost writing work for horror movies.”

    Uh huh.  Ghost writing, you say.  So you didn’t get credit for any of these movies?  Oh.  Yeah, me too.  I ghost wrote Hoop Dreams.  That shit was all scripted.  By me.

    20:30 – She also recently became head chef of…somewhere.  Congratulations on the promotion.

    Oh.  It’s a haunted restaurant.  I see.  Well, let’s just move on.  Only six minutes to go.  I’m trying to power through.

    25:00 – Newt starts talking about having sex in the projection booth.  Fuck.  I don’t care.  I’m done with this shit.

    Comments.

    Nothing interesting.

    Let’s check out his Twitter.

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1572258780682788868

    “Drawing ever closer to November. And the release of the 1st 3 issues of #FloridaMan saves christmas #comicbooks #indiecomics #mutantfam”

    Oh yeah.  I forgot about that plagiarised crap.  

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1570801719738769408

    Creepy picture of Newt and his cat in bed.  I could have gone without seeing that.

    https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1569042153778585600

    Here’s the twice-weekly reminder of how Newt’s Youtube channel is doing.  Views and subscribers have slowed considerably but he’s still working on it.  He’s at 600,000 views.

    What do you want me to do, Newt?  I’m subscribed.  I also promote your videos on the world’s most popular Erin Plays blog.  What more can I do?  If you’re not getting views and subscribers, that’s not my fucking problem.  Maybe try putting out better videos.

  • My Boxed Game Collection – NES, SNES, N64 and more! – Erin Plays

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snIcNzUAMo0

    This is on her “Extras” channel.  Why?  This is the channel that she puts her Twitch streams on.  But this doesn’t look like it was done on Twitch.  

    I guess that she deemed this video so terrible that it wasn’t worthy of her normal channel.  So let’s check it out.  Erin is going to show her boxed video game collection.  She’s a big “gamer”.  I’m sure that she has an impressive collection.

    By the way, you can see Erin’s handheld game collection here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/11/my-handheld-collection-game-boy-gba.html

    It was shockingly unimpressive.  And I wasn’t going in there with high expectations.  I know that Erin is a fraud.  Even with these low expectations, it was shockingly unimpressive.

    0:00 – Oh, she’s wearing her stonewashed jean jacket.  The 90s!  It was the 1980s, actually, but let’s not ruin Erin’s *nostalgic* fun for things that happened before she was born.

    “Today I have something random that I just wanted to do on the spur of the moment.”

    Why not put some time and effort into the video instead?  Because that’s not how Erin rolls.  She puts no time or effort into anything.  This is how you become a 35 year old woman making fifty bucks a month.

    “Over the last few months, I’ve slowly been re-doing my game room area.”

    And she shows this closet that she streams from.  This is her “game room area”.  The closet that she streams from.

    0:30 – “This could get way out of hand and I should probably split this into parts.”

    She’s talking about how she’s only going to include NES, SNES, and Nintendo 64 games in this video.  The implication is that if she included her entire boxed video game collection, the video would be six hours long or whatever.  Give me a fucking break.  Enough with the lies.

    0:45 – Her first game is a Sailor Moon game.  Oh my fucking god.  I’m not going to comment on every game that she shows and pretends to know about but this is how she starts the fucking video.  It doesn’t bode well.

    She claims to have got this game when she was very young.  Uh huh.  So 30?

    2:00 – “I remember playing this for so many hours as a kid.”

    Uh huh.  Where’s the stream then?  Show us what a pro you are.  

    And she’s never mentioned playing this game even ONCE before.  The only games that Erin ever claims to have played as a child are Yoshi’s Island, some Barbie game, Revenge of Arcade, and Super Mario World at a friend’s house. That’s it.  Never mentioned: Sailor Moon.  I guess that Erin “always” “forgets” that she played this Sailor Moon game as a kid.

    2:15 – Castlevania IV for the Super Famicom.  She clearly purchased this after she started streaming.  With Mike’s money.  This is some new, idiotic thing that she’s doing.  She wants every Castlevania game even though the only time she has ever played any of the games is on stream, for money.  She openly admits that she never played any Castlevania game before she startred streaming.  This is a rare instance of Erin being honest.

    2:45 – “I’m not really a collector, I mean, I guess I am.”

    By what definition?  I suppose in the same way that she’s a “gamer”.  She plays video games, albeit only on stream, for money, so technically…she’s a “gamer”.  I guess.  

    This is actually the definition that Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining uses.  Somebody was complaining about fake gamer girls in the comments and Pam said that if you play video games, even if it’s just on Twitch or Youtube, you’re a real “gamer”.

    4:00 – Erin shows a “funny” drawing in the manual.  How was it funny?  I don’t know.  She doesn’t elaborate.  It was just funny.  Yuk it up, boys.

    4:45 – Classic Concentration.  I know I said that I wasn’t going to mention every game but she’s spending a lot of time on each game so I can do it.  At this rate, she’s only going to show about 15 games.  That’s her collection.  

    And this is a game that she only played on stream, for money.  Of course.  But she was all about it on that one stream that she played this game.  I think it might have even been two streams.  She thought that it was really cute.  

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/06/classic-concentration-and-wheel-of.html

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/06/classic-concentration-and-wheel-of_17.html

    She starts that stream by saying that she’s never seen the show before.  Of course.  

    Then she starts talking about what a fan she is of The Match Game and proceeds to get the name of the host BADLY wrong.  She “always” “forgets” the name of the host of The Match Game, I guess.

    And she’s only able to solve any of the puzzles because the horntards give her the answers.

    She’s a big Concentration fan.

    4:45 – “I love game show games on NES, especially if they’re made by GameTek.  I have so much fun, like I stream those a lot.”

    Uh huh.  What about playing them in your spare time, Erin?  Do you ever do that?  No.  Of course not.  The only time she plays video games is when she’s doing it on stream, for money.

    5:00 – She says that Mike got her this game because she said that she “needed” it.  

    Mike got ALL of these games.  How the fuck would she buy any of them?  With her fifty bucks a month?

    5:45 – “So Classic Concentration.  I believe that it was on tv before I was born.  Well, this says 1990.  Okay, so I was very young.  I don’t remember.  I never watched it.  I played the game before watching it and then I had to look it up on (edit)   I think it was on the Gameshow Network on PlutoTV and I was like, ‘This is great’”.

    Let’s look at this.  She says that she played the game before watching the show.  She’s telling the truth but it’s intentionally misleading.  The first time she played the game was when she did that stream in July 2021.  Then after doing that stream, she watched an episode or part of an episode on Pluto.  She had to look up the name of the channel because she “always” “forgets” about PlutoTV.

    This is what she’s talking about.  Some stupid thing that she did for a Twitch stream.  Then she watched an episode for a few minutes.  And now she’s portraying herself as an expert on Concentration.  

    This is what she does.  She does this constantly.  She’ll play a game once, on stream, for money, or watch a tv show once, and then she’ll try to talk like she’s an expert on the subject.  No.  She doesn’t know jack shit about anything because she’s never done anything.

    6:15 – Hogan’s Alley.  “This is actually the only black box NES game that I have.”

    You don’t say.  

    Why does she even have this?  Who gives a shit?  Erin certainly doesn’t.  This is just so that she can have something on her weird little shelf in her streaming closet in Mike’s house.

    And why is this the best room that she can get?  Maybe Mike isn’t the millionaire that people think he is.  Because there’s just this tiny fucking bedroom that Erin is in.  He’s not living in some kind of mansion.  It must be a modest place.

    6:30 – “It’s a good one to have because this is probably my favourite lightgun game on the NES.”

    And she’s struggling to think as she says this.  She’s going through the rolodex of NES lightgun games that she’s played.  

    She’s never played ANY lightgun game on the NES.  Show me the stream.  If she hasn’t streamed it, she hasn’t played it.

    Then there’s an edit and she starts talking about what you do in this game.  Why was there an edit?  Because Erin had to watch a playthrough of this game on Youtube to “remind” herself what this game is about.

    7:00 – “I did a video on this”

    Oh.  So she did play this before.  My apologies.  She played it on stream, for money.  How else?

    She says that if you want to watch this video, there will either be a link in the video or in the description.  There’s no link anywhere.  Zero effort Erin strikes again.

    7:15 – Metal Storm.  Another game that she played on stream, for money.  I did a review but it’s not on this blog.  It’s in my personal archives.  I’ll have to upload all of these some day.

    Then she starts talking about how far she got in the game.  She’s talking about the one fucking time that she played the game and it was on stream, for money.  This is all she ever does.  Every fucking story is about something that she played on stream, for money.  But she never says this.  She always tries to portray herself as an expert who’s been playing video games for hundreds of thousands of hours since she was a child.  It’s all bullshit.  

    Then she struggles to remember what happens in the game.  Erin “always” “forgets” what happens in the game.  BECAUSE SHE ONLY PLAYED IT ONE FUCKING TIME!  JUST ADMIT IT!

    8:00 – “I like it because you can go upside down and you’re a cute little mech.”

    Fucking abysmal.  Who is watching this shit?  Who is being entertained by any of this?

    8:15 – Bible Buffet.  Oh.  Another game that she only played once, on stream, for money.  I’m noticing a pattern here.

    She likes the game because it has cute food.  Erin likes cute food.  But she only plays on stream, for money.

    8:45 – She claims that this was the first game that she played on an emulator, “Like back in 2007”.

    Let me think about this.  In 2007, Erin aka Cykill1986 would have been 20 or 21 years old.  

    Emulators and the internet had existed and been in wide distribution at least since 1998.

    So all throughout adolescence, which are the prime video game playing years for most people, Erin never bothered to try an emulator.  Wasn’t interested.

    But suddenly, as a 20 or 21 year old woman, she’s playing Bible Buffet on NESticle or whatever.  Is that what she wants us to believe?  Why the sudden interest?  

    9:00 – She starts complaining about the box art.  The characters aren’t cute enough.  But she says that she likes the sprites.  The sprites are cute.

    This is fucking awful.

    9:30 – “Next up we have one that is really random.  This is Crash the Boys: Street Challenge.”

    She struggled to get the name out.  You know what that means.  Erin “always” “forgets” the name of this game.  

    And here’s why: she never played this before.  Show me the stream.  This must have just been a random gift from a horntard or something.

    “So the reason I bought this was…uhhhh…I was going to do a video.”

    Oh.  Now I get it.  Everything has to be for a stream or Youtube video.

    There’s Puzzle Bobble music playing, by the way.  Erin is all about Puzzle Bobble.  She played it a few times.  Always on stream, for money.

    “So I don’t have much to say about this one.  It’s in the box.  Great.”

    She has nothing to say about it because she never played it before.  She was going to play it for a video but she ended up not making the video.  So…that was that.  I mean, what are you suggesting?  She’s going to play a game for her own enjoyment?  In her spare time?  Fuck off.  Erin doesn’t do that shit.

    10:00 – Puss n Boots.  She never played this one either.  Show me the stream.

    10:45 – Fester’s Quest.  I don’t think that she’s ever played this one either.  Maybe briefly during a “variety stream”.

    11:15 – Dirty Harry.  She never played this one either.

    She says that this is the last game that she wants to play.  Then she says, “Maybe I’ll unbox this on stream or something.”

    Everything has to be on stream, for money with Erin.

    And who would even want to watch that?  Unboxing an NES game?  Who gives a shit?  And she has NO INTEREST in the game, as she herself is making plain.

    12:00 – Pinbot.  She never played this one either.

    I guess that she ran out of games that she has that she streamed.  All of the games that she started with were games that she did on stream but now it’s just random bullshit that she happened to pick up somehow and she knows nothing about them because she never played any of them.

    12:30 – Rollerball.  Same shit.

    This video really needs to end.  

    13:00 – Kickle Cubicle.  She really likes it.  This is a game that she played on stream, for money.  It’s “cute”.  

    I just don’t want to watch any more.  She has a few boxed games.  Some of them she played on stream, for money, some of them she hasn’t.  I don’t care.  This is boring as fuck.  No wonder she didn’t put this on her main channel.  It doesn’t live up to the high quality that we expect from the Erin Plays channel.  Stick this shit on the “Extras” channel with the rest of the dreck.

    I’ll just skip to the end.

    20:00 – “Are there any cool games that you have in the box.”

    No.  Because I’m an adult.

    Let’s check out the comments.

    Erin says, “Hi! This video was originally going to be a video on my main channel, Erin Plays, but I decided that it didn’t really fit the vibe I have over there now so I put it here instead! This was first shown to Patreon members a few weeks back. Anyway, here are SOME of my NES/SNES/N64 games that I have in the box! After recording this, I realized that I missed a few, lol. But here’s most of them! In the future I’d like to share my Sega Genesis and Master System, Vectrex etc games as well so we’ll see.”

    There’s so much to say here but…I’ve covered all of this many times already.  She’s a fraud.  She only plays games on stream, for money.  This is all a big scam.  A big scam to get fifty bucks a month.  Come on, Erin.  Just go home to mama and ask her to raise your allowance.  You should be able to get $50/month that way.  Just do some chores around the house to show that you deserve a raise.

    – “‘I don’t trust digital only’ About damn time someone said this. I never understood everyone’s fascination with “it’s convenient. You’ll never have to load a disc in” but then what happens when the game isn’t listed or supported anymore? Then you’re shit out of luck,”

    Erin got this from Mike, you fucking retard.  Mike says this about ten times in every stream he does.  And it’s hardly some brave stance to take.  What a hero you are for saying that you enjoy digital media.  You better be careful who you say that too.  The illuminati might come after you for that kind of dangerous talk.

    – “Would enjoy a metal storm lets play erin”

    Then Erin says, “Oof, I wish I was saving streams back when I played it ha. I’ll have to mentally prepare myself to ever try that one again”

    What?  Oh.  I checked the archives and it was just an unboxing video of Metal Storm that I was talking about.  But I could swear that she played this maybe a year or two ago on stream, for money.  

    Well, I guess that this is some lost media then.  Maybe this can be the subject for Bobdunga’s next video.   Uncovering the lost Metal Storm stream that Erin did.  Bobdunga will interview some shadowy figures before uncovering that Erin had it all along but just “forgot” that she has it.

    – “Ugh love the thumbnail…why you so beautiful Erin”

    Absolute rock bottom standards for these horntards.

  • The Games I've Played the Most – Cannot be Tamed

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFicr9w96vs

    Pam is wearing her naughty schoolmarm top.  Hello, ladies.  Views must be going down again.

    Her first game is World of Warcraft.  She played it a lot.  Great

    2:00 – “According to Steam, my my most played game is Civilization 5 with 156 hours.”

    I…what?  That’s her most played game?  156 hours?  

    I played Civilization 5 and I hated it.  So I probably only played it for about 100 hours.  I just had a bootleg copy so I don’t know the official hours.

    Let me check my Steam account.

    Team Fortress 2 has 2500 hours.  Holy shit.  I haven’t played in over a year but yeah, I really kicked the shit out of those 10 year olds.  And I basically only played 2fort.  And soldier.  So I got really good at playing soldier on 2fort.

    What I would do is camp the secondary respawn, the one that takes you directly to the sniper area.  And then as soon as somebody came out, they got two rockets to the face and they were back in respawn.  Then I would say “pwned”.  I had “pwned” bound to a mouse button.  People would quickly get really pissed off.  It was hilarious.  

    I wasn’t really directly advancing the objective for my team but I was usually in first place.  And people would make it their mission just to kill me so that they could say “pwned”.  So in that sense, I distracting them from their team’s goal and thereby assisting my own team.

    Sometimes, people would put a sentry gun in that area just to keep me away but it’s a totally useless spot for a sentry gun, so I basically took that guy out of the game.  Sometimes a heavy weapons guy would camp that area just to spite me.  But when that area got too defensive, I’d just camp the other respawn.  

    It was great.  2500 hours of that.  People would threaten to get me banned but Gabe Newell never did shit.  I’d been playing the game since it came out and before that I played Team Fortress Classic and did the same fucking thing.  

    I finally quit playing because the servers became overrun by aimbotting bots.  The only alternative was to play on community servers and those always suck cock.  There’s some faggot 12 year old “admin” who bans everybody and the servers are always instant respawn.  There’s no fun in killing somebody right after they come out of respawn if they instantly respawn.  And by instantly respawning, they’re able to kill you just through brute force because they keep coming back instantly and they know you’re there.  Instant respawn is absolute no skill, noob bullshit.  

    But yeah, I spent about 20 years playing that game and Team Fortress Classic.  Time well spent.

    3:15 – And now a word from our sponsor.  What can it be?  Elizabeth Valentine?  No, why would a bra company pay for an ad on a video game channel?  Well…a lot of these obese men could probably do with some support.  

    A VPN?  What?  How lazy can you possibly get, Pam?  

    According to this ad, she really wanted to watch Old Boy but it’s not available on Netflix in Canada.  So, allegedly, she turned on her VPN and was able to watch this Korean horror film.

    It’s the same fucking script that James Rolfe reads.  It’s the same fucking script that this VPN sends to everyone.  This is insulting our intelligence.  

    I saw Old Boy years ago on television.  But you know what I’d do if I wanted it again?  Check the fucking pirate streaming sites.  

    It’s there.  No problem.  Plus the 2013 remake.  Took two seconds.

    Plus, as a bonus, you get pornographic pop ups.  Even with an adblocker.  Thousands of local women want to have sex with me.  Wow.  That’s more than I would have expected.  And they look like this?  Crazy.

    Failing that, I’d check the torrent sites.  Let’s have a quick look.

    Yeah.  It’s on there.  Five hundred seeders.  No problem.

    But Pam thinks that you need to spend fifteen bucks a month or whatever for a VPN.  No.  There’s absolutely no need for that bullshit.

    4:30 – X-Com.  Who cares?  I’m moving to the next game.

    6:15 – Felix the Cat.  Yeah, I don’t think so.  Who would play this game multiple times?  In 2022?  No.

    Then she talks about three other games but I don’t give a fuck.

    Let’s check out the comments.  I’m not hopeful for anything interesting.  The video certainly wasn’t interesting.

    – “Damn you’re cute”

    – “Civ? 156 hours? Pfft. Over 2,000 for me and I’m still rubbish at it.”

    Yeah, it’s a fucking joke.  150 hours is not a lot.  

    – “that dress is gorgeous”

    I don’t think that it’s a dress.  But you can’t even see it.  All you can see is her tits.  So we know what you’re doing.

    – “Pam, you are so easy on my eyes and today’s vid only cemented that feeling. Thank you for doing what you do.”

    What a creep.

    – “Love your hair.”

    Pam actually replies to that creepy loser.  “Thanks!”  Encouraging the horntards to leave creepy messages.  And her hair is fucking awful.  It’s intentionally bad.  

    – “I’d make a comment about video games but I’m just gonna say your hair is always on point and I love the black on you.”

    It just goes to show that you can do absolutely anything and the horntards will compliment you.  People compliment Pelvic Gamer’s blue lipstick, for example.  

  • Johanna is Streaming on Twitch

     https://www.twitch.tv/stufflikegames

    How long has this been going on?  At least a month.  She has a month’s worth of videos on there.  That’s presumably the maximum amount of time that a video stays up on the free section.

    So I was watching her play Disney Dreamlight Valley.  This is some new game that’s like Animal Crossing but with Disney characters.  Very derivative.  And there’s never more than like three people in the chat.  It’s sad.  

    So Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee joins.  She’s feeling sorry for Johanna and her completely dead Twitch career.  And it’s the usual bullshit that you would expect from Horseface.

    At 1:12:45 of the “It’s Little Chef time!” stream, Horseface subscribes.  Why?  They’re just subscribing back and forth.  They’re just exchanging the same five dollars between each other.  

    So Johanna hears the subscriber ringtone and it surprises her.  Because nobody is fucking subscribing.  So she looks up excitedly to see who subscribed and gets disappointed when she sees that it was just Horseface giving her a pity subscription.

    Then at 1:13:45 Johanna builds a house and it’s a big house and she says, “Oh, my god, it’s huge” and has her mouth agape for like two minutes.  This is the old Retro Ali trick.  Guys, apparently, find this sexy.  A woman with her mouth agape.  Fake “reactions”.  They’re imagining sticking their dick in there, I guess.  I don’t get it.  

    Then at 1:14:30, Horseface says, “Aww that looks like you” in reference to her character.

    Well, first of all, no shit.  That’s what she was going for when she made it.

    But secondly, it doesn’t look much like her.  The character creation tools in games are rarely robust enough to let the average “gamer” truly make a digital representation of themselves.  Yeah, you can usually customise the face and the hair and the clothes and the skin tone and whatever.  And that’s all great.  But rarely can you customise the body.  You usually just have to go with the default, slim body type.  

    Johanna needs a big fat girl body type for this game but I don’t think there’s such an option.  I guess that you can’t often customise the body type because there would be issues with hit boxes or clipping or whatever but that’s the reality.  So all of these fucking fat fuck “gamers” like Johanna here have to just play as a slim character.  It’s not right.  We need proper representation in video games.  Maybe somebody can make a mod for this.  Is the game even available on PC?  Let me check.

    Oh, it is.  I find that kind of surprising for some reason.  Why even buy a console any more?  Why buy a console for the past 10+ years?  Everything gets released on PC now.

    1:17:15 – Johanna is showing some little stuffed novelties that she got from “blind bags” shaped like ice cream buckets and she’s confused because the plush that looks like a bowl of gelato is brown instead of green.  On the packaging it’s shown as green.  So Horseface says, “That’s rotten gelato.”  She spells it “galato” by the way, because she’s an idiot.  

    Then Johanna says, “I’ll eat his rotten gelato” and pantomimes licking this plush in some kind of sensual manner.  

    How on earth is “rotten gelato” supposed to be sexual?  Because that’s clearly how she intended it.  Is this what she calls her fiance’s genitals?  “Rotten gelato”?  I don’t want to think about it.  Let’s move on.

    1:23:15 – Johanna found earrings in the game.  She says, “those earrings are adorable” and then she equips them on her character.  Then she does the Retro Ali horse cock sucking face.  

    This is terrible.  And she was looking up information on that gelato character for like ten fucking minutes.  I’ve never been so bored in my life.  Who wants to watch somebody searching on Google for ten minutes?  The gelato was also “cute”.

    It’s absolute shit tier commentary.  All she does is comment on what she’s doing in the game and pointing out cute shit.  Who the fuck wants to watch this.  As it turns out, nobody.

    1:25:00 – Johanna says, “I’m hot.  I have to take off this sweater.  I have a tank top on underneath, pervs.”

    What pervs?  Nobody is even watching this.

    Then she’s fiddling with her top as she takes her sweater off.  “Make sure that I’m adjusted correctly.”  She takes the sweater off and says, “I’m dying.  I can’t.  So you’re going to have to deal with me in a tank top.”

    Let’s pause here.  She was streaming for nearly 90 minutes in this sweater and seemed to have no problem.  Horseface comes in and within ten minutes, Johanna is taking her sweater off.  

    And how much would you like to bet that Horseface makes a disgusting comment?  

    One second later:

    Horseface: TAKE IT OFF

    Horseface: boooo tank top

    Johanna then says, “Crystal, I’m not stripping…on stream.  We would need a hot tub for that and you would have to join me.

    Reminder: Johanna is 250 pounds.

    And she’s engaged to get married.  To a man.

    If I was that man, I would immediately call off the marriage, get that fat fuck out of my home, and never have anything to do with her again.  That guy might be 300 pounds, have two anuses, and sell used Hyundai’s in rural Pennsylvania but he can do better.  I mean, how much worse can you even do?  He’s already at rock bottom.

    Then Horseface says, “I can make that happen.”  You know, because Horseface is all about obese women who are engaged to be married.  That’s her thing.  

    Johanna says, “Girl, I’m down.  Any time you want.”  Because Johanna is all about horse-faced women.

    Then why is she getting married to a man?  What is wrong with that fucking guy?  I mean aside from the two anuses.  Maybe that second anus is actually a vagina.

    To explain, Johanna once remarked in a Talking About Tapes episode or Godzilla podcast or something that her fiance has two anuses.  And his sister has two anuses.  Why would she say this for the whole world to hear?  Because she has absolutely no respect for that guy (or his sister) and no sense of common decency.  

    That’s enough of that boring bullshit.  Let’s see what the totally hot Crystal Quin is up to on Twitter.

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1571261520138444806

    Oh.  The 17th of September was Batman Day.  Did you all mark your calendars?  Did you decorate your Batman trees?  A happy Batman Day to you and your loved ones.

    Horseface commemorated the holiday by posting two pictures of herself dressed like a prostitute.  She looks…well, like a horse-faced woman.  If this is your thing, this is your thing.  But it’s certainly not my thing.

    Let’s see what Kris Glavin has to say.  Is she a smokeshow or what?

    – “Happy Saturday crystal queen you are The most radiantly beautiful young lady so adorable hunny”

    – “That is the cutest thing ever babe”

    – “Wowsers stunningly beautiful young lady”

    – “Super model vibes baby”

    Those were all from Kris Glavin.  He posted four fucking times.  

    Somebody else says, “Why I see this shit ?”  

    Indeed.  I think that this guy is an English teacher in Japan, by the way.  Here’s his Twitter:

    https://twitter.com/gekido985

    Who wouldn’t want to be taught by such a master of the English language?  And that wasn’t a one-off.  His Twitter is FULL of pigeon English.  What an educator.

    Somebody else says, “It’s put your clothes on and stop scaring the children every day. More damaged goods gone to waste. Pretty but very damaged.”

    This guy might have been taught English by that other guy but I think he’s expressing displeasure at Horseface co-opting a children’s holiday for her own disgusting gratification.  It’s true.  Halloween has become co-opted by “liberated” women dressing like prostitutes.  For the entire month of October.  And we’re not even in October yet.  It’s still September.  But Prostitute Halloween has already arrived for Horseface.  

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1569918961260584960

    “I’m a sucker for long stem roses” and she posts a picture of roses that may or may not be hers.

    She’s a real romantic, that Horseface.  Texted her boss, “Do you want to fuck?”  This was before they ever met socially.  

    So Kris Glavin replies, “I will definitely make a note of that in all seriousness happy Wednesday gorgeous hope you have a great day and rest of your week babe”

    And again, “Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy”

    She has a boyfriend?  I guess.  Kris Glavin would know.  He’s stalking her every move.

    https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1568004794354221056

    “If you’re reading this, I hope you had a great day!”

    And a gif of a woman holding a plastic penis and testicles with her arm around a skeleton.  

    What is this?  What was the point of the tweet?  “Hey.  I’m here.  I’ve got nothing to say but I need attention.”

    Great.  Let’s see what Kris Glavin had to say to this totally pointless bullshit.

    – “Happy Thursday gorgeous hope you had a great day and hope you have a great weekend babe 😘 sending you lots of love and hugs and positive vibes babe”

    – “Happy Friday gorgeous hope you have a great weekend with your family babe 😘😘😘 sending you lots of love and hugs and positive vibes babe”

    So he replied twice.  On two separate days.  Same fucking message about having a great weekend and sending positive vibes.  He just changed the day.  

    That guy really needs urgent psychological care.  In a facility.  One that he can’t get out of.  

    Last time I play Wordle, by the way.  You guys all know about “trice”, right?  Fuck off.

    ,

  • The (Likely) End of Pegwarmers

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4yIdy8Opng

    1:00 – “For the news segment today, Pegwarmers is actually going to go on hiatus for about a month.  We’re going to be re-tooling and trying to streamline the production a little bit more.  The episodes take a lot of time to film, edit, and get released.  So we might be looking at some different formats for the episodes.  But the show’s not going away and we’ll have a lot of the same guests on and things like that.  So definitely stay tuned and we’ll be pushing messages out on social media when we’re ready to re-launch.”

    Uh huh.  “All tv shows take breaks.”

    I actually predicted this about three weeks ago.

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/08/here-lies-talk-about-games-mike-matei.html

    Once they got rid of Talking About Games, Pegwarmers became the last show to use this set.  I knew that Ryan wasn’t going keep this set around just for Pegwarmers.

    At one point, Screenwave had five podcasts going at the same time: Hack the Movies, Pegwarmers, Talking About Games, The Cinemassacre Podcast, and Mouthfools.  Now only Hack the Movies remains.  All of these podcasts came and went within the course of…what…six months?  Nine months?  It wasn’t long.

    You’re not going to build much of an audience in six to nine months.  With these niche topics, you might never build an audience.  

    From the quick cancellation of all of these series, it’s clear that Ryan was only interested in making money from this shit.  The individual people hosting the podcasts might be doing this because they enjoy doing it, but for Ryan it was all about money.  And from that perspective, these podcasts were clearly an idiotic business decision.  

    Are millions of people going to suddenly watch Mouthfools?  That shit was unwatchable.  Four uncharismatic nerds talking about Splatoon over Skype?  No thanks.  This does not have broad appeal.  The only people who might possibly watch that shit were people who were already familiar with any of these four guys.  And at least one of these guys had over a million subscribers so you might think that this could turn into views.  No.  Nobody was watching that shit.  It was awful.  The basic format was awful.  I’m not watching any podcast where it’s just a group chat on Skype.  Fuck that.

    Talking About Games.  It was…mostly watchable.  It started to get bad towards the end of the run.  I suspect that people were giving up and no longer caring.  But are millions of people going to suddenly find the channel?  

    Actually, I suppose that the podcast was promoted on Cinemassacre.  It was promoted at the end of the later episodes of The Cinemassacre Podcast.  But who the fuck was watching The Cinemassacre Podcast all the way through?  

    Which brings me to The Cinemassacre Podcast.  This one had all of the advantages and just totally threw everything away.  You had a fucking comatose James Rolfe mumbling his way through books on Atlantis and talking about what alcoholic beverage he drank in the 15 minutes between recording one episode of the podcast to the next.  They would record this shit in batches because Jimmy has no time to do his fucking job.  So he’d record four episodes back to back, I believe.  Do a month’s worth of podcasts in one day.  

    And James just could not do ANYTHING.  Justin constantly kept tweaking the show to try to get James to become even remotely engaged.  Let’s bring your childhood friend in.  Let’s talk about Family Matters.  Let’s talk about Atlantis.  Let’s talk about your favourite bands.  Let’s talk about how awesome you are.  

    There was literally an episode where they talked about their favourite AVGN episodes.  It was Kieran, Justin, and Jimmy all talking about how awesome Jimmy is.  

    The only time James gave the slightest fuck was when they were talking about an actual buffalo defecating on his face and when James was there with Rex Viper.  Jimmy was a total corpse during every other episode but when he was there with Rex Viper it was, “ALRIGHT!  I’M JAMES ROLFE!  ARE YOU GUYS READY ROCK?!”  And it was everybody else who didn’t give a fuck.  Jimmy is telling this bizarre fake lore about the origins of Rex Viper and that keyboardist could barely keep his head up.  “What the fuck is this retard talking about?”

    They even tried plying James with alcohol to get him to talk.  That old trick that they used on 1970s celebrity gameshows.  No.  James refuses to engage.  

    And this is his fucking job.  Doesn’t he get it?  He’s retarded.  It’s this or Wawa.  Does he want to work at Wawa?  That should be all of the motivation that he needs to put some fucking effort into this.  He’s so concerned about his kids, is he going to be able to provide for his children on a Wawa salary?  Is his wife going to stick with him when he’s working at Wawa?  Fuck no.  She’s getting a divorce, keeping the house, keeping the kids, taking half his money, and Jimmy is on the streets.

    Then there’s Hack the Movies.  Once The Ideas Man left, it was all over.  Tony got desperate.  “We need some hot chicks to get the views!  Who do we have?  A fat chick…a horse-faced woman…and…a retard.  Well, let’s try it anyway.”

    And it’s the same fucking bullshit episode after episode.  Tony goes out there like the fucking “time to make the doughnuts” guy and goes through the motions of summarising the plot of a 1990s horror movie while a horse-faced woman talks about actresses who she wants to have sex with.

    Finally, there’s Pegwarmers.  I watched it.  It’s a big fat guy in his 30s talking about toys with a rotating cast of nerds in their 30s and 40s.  It’s a competent, workmanlike performance.  Limited appeal.  This thing is not going to get millions of viewers.  

    He’s apparently been doing this podcast or at least Youtube videos for many years so I’m sure that he’ll continue in some format but it’s not going to be promoted at all by Screenwave, maybe Screenwave won’t even be involved (which might be for the best), and it’s not going to be using this set.  It’s going to be this guy in his kitchen talking about toys.

    Ryan has no idea how to run a business.  He probably made all kinds of promises to these people, talked about how Screenwave is a family, he’s going to support you, you can use the set, whatever.  And then six or nine months later, when none of these podcasts are doing Joe Rogan numbers, he gets rid of them all.  

    What has Ryan ever achieved?  How is this company, or any of his six companies, at all profitable?  The word “Screenwave” is synonymous with “failure”.  He took a successful Youtube channel and ran it straight into the ground.  Screenwave became so reviled and infamous for their incompetence that he had to rebrand to “Retroware”.  

    The guy is a complete joke.  Doesn’t even know what gender he is.  Take your pants off and have a look.  He’s so obese that he probably hasn’t seen his genitals in years so perhaps this is the problem.  He can’t remember if he had a penis or a vagina down there.

    So that’s Pegwarmers.  My only advice is to get away from Screenwave and just do the show in your house or whatever for whatever pennies you can get.  I think that he’s just doing the show because he enjoys it.  So fine.  Do that.  You don’t need this fucking incompetent weirdo taking half of your money for doing nothing.

    , , , , ,

  • Screenwave/Retroware's Copyright-Infringing T-Shirts

     https://retroware.com/collections/retroware

    They can’t blame The Ideas Man for this one.  So which intern is going to take the fall this time?

    There are six shirts.  By default, they’re listed from most popular to least popular.  That’s the order that I’ll be reviewing each shirt.

    These shirts are all $30 each.  They’re all in the “premium” range.  You can see the full “premium” range here:

    https://retroware.com/collections/premium-shirts

    It’s mostly just the Retroware shirts and, inexplicably, a Shit Pickle shirt that nobody would possibly want to buy.  But interestingly, the Shit Pickle shirt is apparently a bigger seller than all of the Retroware stuff.  Maybe that’s because the Retroware stuff is newer.

    But most of the shirts that they sell are $20.  Here’s the Cinemassacre collection:

    https://retroware.com/collections/cinemassacre

    What’s the difference between the shirts?  Are the premium ones better quality?  Thicker material?  We don’t know.  No explanation given.

    Oh, I should mention that Retroware is the new name for Screenwave.  Ryan is rebranding the company because the Screenwave name has become completely toxic.  So just change the name and do the same bullshit you’ve been doing that caused the problems to begin with.  It’s not going to work but a lot of scumbag companies will do this.  They’ll get a lot of negative reviews on the internet, business will drop, so they’ll shut down and start a new company as a new name.  I’ve seen this a lot with letting agents, who are always scumbags.

    So here’s the first shirt:

    https://retroware.com/products/copy-of-retroware-logo-black-t-shirt

    That bears a striking similarity to the Nintendo 64 logo.  They’ve seemingly even rebranded yet again to Retroware 64.  

    There’s an in-house lawyer at Screenwave.  I’ve seen his Twitter profile before.  It’s a great big fat guy.  Of course.  

    Anyway, why would this guy sign off on this design?  Did Ryan even run this shirt past him?  It’s clearly the Nintendo 64 logo.  

    You see stuff like this all the time in the t-shirt market.  Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes urinating on a Ford logo or whatever.  I don’t think that either Bill Watterson or the Ford Motor Company authorised these shirts.  

    But if either one of these entities wanted to sue the makers of these shirts, they’d win no problem.  But who’s going to sue some guy cranking t-shirts out in his basement?

    Screenwave/Retroware is a legitimate company.  Well, kind of.  They should not be doing this.

    And yeah, it’s common for nerd companies to tweak an existing logo of some nerd shit and put it on a t-shirt.  It’s not a direct copy.  Maybe they change it just enough so that it’s not copyright infringement.  But it’s still pathetic.

    PLAGIARISM SCORE: 9

    And the only reason that it wasn’t a 10 is because it’s not the exact Nintendo 64 logo of an “N”.

    Here’s the next shirt:

    https://retroware.com/products/retroware-qbert-t-shirt

    I’ve definitely seen something like this somewhere.  In an anime or a video game or something.  And if I’ve seen it, somebody who doesn’t watch hardly any anime or play hardly any cyberpunk video games, this must be really common.

    And the URL has “qbert” in it.  I didn’t get it at first but it’s because of the “@!#?” shit, I guess.  Q-Bert communicates like this in the game.  So they’ve ripped that off as well.  They’re ripping off two things here.  I don’t know what connection there is between Q-Bert and cyberpunk, though.

    But I’ve definitely seen this…it’s from like a billboard in some anime version of Japan.  It’s probably in a lot of things.  Maybe this is just how Japan has their commercial signage.  Vertical like this.  In downtown Tokyo, anyway.  But yeah, you see in a lot of anime and cyberpunk games.  I think.  

    Plagiarism score: 7

    https://retroware.com/products/retroware-tiger-t-shirt

    For the previous shirts, they were slightly coy about what they were ripping off.  Here, they just announce it.  They’re ripping off Tiger Handheld games.  They put the word “Tiger” in both the product description and the URL.

    This reminds me.  Going back to the first shirt, the Nintendo 64 one, the URL has “copy-of-retroware-logo-black-t-shirt”.  This is unusual because in all of the other shirts, they have a more accurate product description.  They have “qbert” in the Q-bert shirt and “Tiger” in the Tiger handheld shirt.  

    So logically, they should have “n64” or “Nintendo” or something in the URL of the first shirt.  But they don’t.  They just have this weird “copy of retroware logo black t-shirt” URL.  And they do have a black t-shirt that this is what they’re referencing.

    I suspect that the original URL did have “Nintendo” or something in it.  But then the fatass lawyer working for them said, “No, we should probably change that” and Kieran, or whoever was working on the site, just took the URL for the black t-shirt and added the word “copy”.  Because he’s lazy as fuck and not getting paid enough to come up with a descriptive URL.

    Back to this Tiger Handheld shirt.  It’s just straight up ripping off Tiger Handhelds.  I don’t know if you can copyright a controller layout but if you can, whoever owns Tiger’s intellectual property can take Screenwave/Retroware to the cleaners on this one.  I don’t know how much money the company or companies have but it must be something.  Maybe they can go after Ryan personally.  Make his sell that mansion he lives in and the hundreds of arcade machines that he has.

    I’d like to see court officers hauling arcade cabinets out of Ryan’s home.  Just wheel those things out, put them on a truck, and send them to Tiger’s corporate headquarters as payment for a copyright infringement judgement.  

    Plagiarism score: 8

    https://retroware.com/products/retroware-atari-t-shirt-1

    It’s a very slightly altered Atari logo.  They were even brave enough to put “Atari” in the URL because Nintendo might sue but it’s unlikely that whoever owns the Atari copyrights has the time or money to sue.

    It’s recognisable as the Atari logo but at least they changed it up a bit.  Not like the N64 logo which is just blatant.  They used a different letter but otherwise it’s the exact same logo.  This Atari one can at least be considered “inspired by” as opposed to “direct rip off”.

    Plagiarism score: 6

    https://retroware.com/products/retroware-atari-t-shirt

    This is supposed to be an arcade board.  I guess it is.  I don’t know if it’s based on a specific arcade board or if different boards look much different anyway.  In any event, I don’t think that you can copyright the look of arcade boards.  

    But again the URL is strange.  All they did was take the URL from the Atari logo shirt and remove the “1”.  Or, more likely, this URL was the first one and then they added the “1” to the other one.  But then why isn’t this one the one with the “1” in it?  Because this shirt has nothing to do with Atari.  Maybe it’s based on an Atari arcade board.  

    Anyway, is it the chubby Asian woman who’s modelling these shirts?  As here:

    She’s modelling half of these shirts.  And she doesn’t look so chubby here.  Is it the same woman as before?  I think it is.  

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/10/van-helsing-2004-is-lame-talking-about.html

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/12/ps5-vs-xbox-real-people-decide.html

    Yeah, it definitely is.  Maybe she lost weight.  

    Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.  Smokeshow, babe.  You’re looking fantastic.

    Oh, and she’s in front of the fucking Hack the Movies set.  Why aren’t they doing something with this woman?  Tony brings all of these fucking losers on, who have nothing going on upstairs, can’t talk for shit, and aren’t much to look at while you’ve got a hot Asian chick right here.  And I’ve heard her talk.  She can speak.  She’s the most erudite person at Screenwave, for what little that’s worth.

    I’m sure that they’ve asked her and she just doesn’t want to do it.  It’s unfortunate.  

    Plagiarism score: 3

    https://retroware.com/products/retroware-logo-black-t-shirt

    Just a black shirt with the logo.  No other design.  No other colours.  But black is slimming so that’s what the fat fucks who might buy this shit need.

    Plagiarism score: 1

    So as I said, these shirts are sorted according to sales figures.  So the Nintendo 64 shirt sold the most and the plain black shirt sold the least.

    There’s a direct correlation between plagiarism score and sales.  The more a design is ripping off an existing logo or whatever, the higher the sales.  

    This is clearly a lesson that Screenwave has learned.  They’re all about ripping off other people’s ideas at Screenwave.  They don’t have any original ideas of their own.  

    This is why Newt thrived there for so long.  But then he went too far.  You can’t rip off other people’s work verbatim.  You have to change it a teeny, tiny bit.  Then it’s okay.  

    If Newt was in charge of these t-shirts, he would just straight up turn it into a bootleg distribution centre.  Sell fake Gap shirts and whatnot.  Whatever brings in the sales.

    But here’s my crazy idea: come up with an ORIGINAL design.  I’ll bet that they’d sell.

    You don’t even have to outsource this.  Kieran went to art school or something.  He made cartoons.  You’re telling me that Kieran can’t come up with an original t-shirt design?  

    It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.  Just stylise the letter “R”, for example.  Work from that.  He could have something whipped up in an hour.  Then you can tweak it.  See what looks good.  Whatever.  Put the effort in.  Don’t just rip off existing logos.

    Anyway, if you’d like to vote on your favourite shirt, you can do so on my subreddit:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/CinemassacreTruth/comments/xgi5jd/which_retroware_tshirt_is_your_favourite/

    Voting closes in six days.

    ,

  • CLERKS 3 Review – Newt Wallen

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGzm386EF8c

    0:00 – “I don’t want to be a whiny bitch.”

    That ship has sailed, Newt.

    “You see nothing but negative of everything any more from thirty-something to forty-something year old white dudes on Youtube complaining about The Little Mermaid or Lord of the Rings or Batgirl or whatever.”

    Newt really hates white people.  A lot of people who have this belief will have a lot of black friends or whatever.  But Newt’s friends are all white.  Maybe Newt tried to make friends with black men but the soul brothers just weren’t interested.  

    Newt: Hey, Darnell.  Want to go to a midnight screening of Blacula with me and then maybe we can go to the all-night fried chicken place?

    Darnell: Uhhhh…yo, yo, yo.  I think I’m busy that day, dawg.  But thanks for looking out.  Gotta go now.  Bye.

    But here’s why people don’t like a black Little Mermaid and shit like this: it’s pandering.  Nobody wants that. It’s the same with the female Ghostbusters and shit like this.  

    There’s nothing righteous about any of this.  It’s just the usual Chosen People cynically trying to cash in on this lowest common denominator bullshit.  Take an existing property, change all of the characters to be black/women/transgender/whatever and hope that enough of the people in this demographic and their “right on” “allies” pay to see this shit.

    If you want to make a movie about a black mermaid, by all means do so.  But don’t use the existing movie.  It’s lazy and it’s pandering and it’s insulting to one’s intelligence.  

    If these people were racist, they’d be boycotting all films that have predominately black casts.  But nobody is doing that.  Nobody has a problem with films that have predominately black casts or predominately female casts or whatever.  The problem is this fake, bullshit pandering where they take an existing movie (or whatever) and make everybody black/female/transgender/whatever.

    0:30 – Then Newt tells his riveting story about how he learned about Kevin Smith in the fifth grade and it really inspired a young Newt Wallen to pursue his plagiarised tits and gore dreams.

    2:15 – Newt doesn’t like the movie because, in reference to Kevin Smith, “Everything he says in this movie, he’s already said elsewhere and better.”

    Yeah.  It is annoying when somebody keeps repeating himself.  You know what I mean, Ideas Man?  Tits and gore?  New Jersey?  

    3:00 – Newt went to see this movie and the Screenwave crew (presumably Horseface too) happened to be at the same cinema and Newt says, “There was some whispering and that kind of stuff and that sucked.”

    It is petty.  Yeah, Newt is a scumbag and a plagiarist.  And Horseface is a scumbag.  Tony is a scumbag.  Justin is a scumbag.  But just get on with it.  You don’t have to talk to each other.  But apparently, rural Pennsylvania is so small a community that you just happen to bump into each other.  So just ignore each other but be adults about it.  

    3:30 – He says that he intentionally didn’t laugh during the movie because he didn’t want Horseface and the gang to hear him.

    9:45 – Newt says that he went to the same film school as Kevin Smith.

    Oh yeah.  This seems to check out.  It was apparently Vancouver Film School and Newt has said in the past, many times, that he lived in Vancouver.

    Established in 1987.  I see.  I’m getting scam vibes here.  Let me look for the acceptance rate.

    It’s 84%.  Tuition is between $25,000 and $40,000 a year.  Yeah.  I see.  

    It’s not too far off from that lunatic abortion nut from Hack the Movies who went to a “film school” that had a 100% acceptance rate.  Literally 100%.  

    https://www.reddit.com/r/vancouver/comments/1xmwh5/honestly_how_hard_and_expensive_is_it_to_get_into/

    This thread confirms my suspicions.  It’s a predatory school.  Why are these things so common in the US and, apparently, Canada?  Why is nobody cracking down on this shit?  People are being enslaved for the rest of their lives with these fucking scam schools.  

    I’m at 12 minutes.  I’m sorry but this is boring.  I can’t watch another 15 of this.  Newt didn’t like the movie.  Okay.  Great.  Moving on.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmPQGNc814c

    Here’s some *bonus* content.  Newt is talking about how he made it to the second round of some weird Twitter “contest”.

    This one minute video was “filmed” on the same day as he saw that movie and Horseface was in the same cinema.  He starts crying in this video.  He’s so moved by the support of his loyal ladyboys who gave him a thumbs up or whatever was required in this thing.

    Oh.  I just looked this up.  It’s even weirder than I suspected.  

    You can vote every day.  So it’s obviously just promotion for the website.  They want people to keep going to the website every day for whatever reason.

    But you can also just give them money and you’ll get more votes.  Who would do this?  

    And if you win, you get $13,000, a “walk on role” in an “independent film”, and a two night stay at Buffalo Bill’s House.  Whatever that is.  Oh, and the winner will also “go head-to-head with horror legend Kane Hodder in a photoshoot for Rue Morgue Magazine”.  That’s even more confusing.  What exactly is being awarded here, if anything?

    It’s just a stupid popularity contest.  There’s no way to see who the “competitors” are.  You only know who they are if they’re spamming this shit on their social media and telling you to vote, like Newt was doing.

    There are a lot of easier ways to make $13,000.  I wouldn’t even want this other shit.  The other shit is just a chore.  It’s a job.  For $13,000 you want me to be a background character in some shitty student movie, travel to some shitty house or something for two days, and take part in a photoshoot with some 67 year old man?  Fuck no.  Maybe add a zero to that sum and I’ll consider it.

    But these are the PRIZES.  The “prize” is having to deal with all of this weird bullshit.  Just give me the money and fuck off.  No.  I’m sure that you have to do all of this weird bullshit to get the money.  And even then you might not get it.

    Well, he did better than Macy Jarry, the Horror Whore.

    https://faceofhorror.org/2022/macy-jarry

    It just shows how pointless this “contest” is.  You’re telling me that you’d vote for Newt Wallen over her?  It’s just some weird promotional thing for the website.  But I can’t even figure out what they’re promoting.

    Whether they give a prize away or not, it’s a scam.  Just like Newt’s film school.  They’re selling a dream that 99.99% of the people won’t get.  You’re better off buying lottery tickets.