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  • Collecting Benefits (Welfare) in England

    My information is about 20 years out of date but this is how things were when I was doing it.

    If you have less than £2000 in liquid assets and you’re unemployed, you’re entitled to Job Seekers Allowance and Housing Benefits.

    Housing benefits are the cost of your rent up to a certain amount. I don’t remember the amount but they’ll pay all of your rent as long as it’s under this maximum figure. I only got this briefly, towards the ends of my time of not working, because the vast majority of places that I lived were sub-leases. So I wasn’t on any lease. You need to provide a lease in order to get Housing benefits.

    Job Seeker’s Allowance is money to provide for your various living expenses. Food, travel, whatever. It was £59/week and then it was raised to £72/week in about 2007.

    In order to get the money, you have to go to a JobCentre Plus. This is an office building where a bunch of scumbags work. They’re all government employees and their job is to do the administration around dispensing of benefits allowances.

    After you fill in the application to get whatever benefits you’re entitled to, you have to go back to this office every two weeks to “sign on”. This is a two minute “interview” with your “job seekers advisor”.

    But before you speak to your advisor, you have to first go to the “job points”. This is a computer terminal, of sorts, that lists various job vacancies in the area. You had to find two job ads that you liked and print them out. These computer terminals would print out the job ad. Then the idea is that you’re supposed to apply for this job. Just whenever. In your spare time.

    So you take these two printed out job ads to your “advisor”. He’ll look at them, maybe, and then sign your Job Seeker’s Allowance Booklet. You had a booklet that you had to bring with you. I don’t remember what the booklet said. Something about your responsibilities if you want to continue to collect Job Seekers Allowance, maybe. But the main thing is that there’s a bunch of spaces for signatures. This is what the booklet is for.

    Sometimes the “advisor” will ask how your job search is going. You said, “It’s going fine.” And then he’ll nod. That’s it.

    The first time I went to one of these places, I thought that they would help with finding a job. No. That’s not what it’s about. It’s just to facilitate the handing out of benefits. Make sure that you’re still alive and living in the area and therefore entitled to benefits. If you miss one of these appointments, your benefits stop. I don’t know if you have to re-apply or they automatically restart the next time you appear.

    So who are these “advisors”? In my experience, in London, they were overwhelmingly racial minorities who were one paycheque away from claiming benefits themselves. These people didn’t know shit about finding work. You wouldn’t want to get job advice from these people. If they knew how to find a job, they wouldn’t be working here.

    Sometimes they’ll mix things up and give you some bizarre task to do. And if you don’t do it, they take away your benefits money for two weeks or however long they want.

    So I went to one place, and this black woman who was the “advisor” was requiring everyone to call…somebody. It was some other person in the Department of Work and Pensions. That’s the government body responsible for benefits.

    It was just busy work. The person she wanted you to call had nothing important to say. The whole process is pointless busy work.

    So I got on the phone, it was a landline. There was a row of like payphones that you could use. But you didn’t have to pay for them. This was like a way for people to use the phone for the purposes of contacting prospective employers. You weren’t allowed to use the phone for any other reason, and there was a security guard who would walk around and make sure that nobody was making any kind of personal calls.

    I remember one security guard, a black guy, remonstrating with a South Asian guy because this guy was calling somebody about the bank trying to repossess his house due to him not making his mortgage payments.

    Anyway, this woman wanted us to use the phones. Earlier, I saw this woman having a discussion with an angry Polish guy. The Polish guy was expressing his exasperation at not being able to find a job. He was telling her all of his work experience and she just kept saying, “It’s irrelevant. It’s irrelevant. Go to the phones.”

    I’m on the phone. I dial the number that this woman gave me. It just keeps ringing. I let it go for five minutes. No response. I try again. I let it ring for ten minutes. No response.

    There’s no recording or anything. “You are now number 24 in the queue”. Nothing like that. No music. It just rang.

    So I go to this woman and I say that nobody’s picking up. Can I just speak to somebody in person?

    Oh, that’s what this was. These people on the phone were a substitute for speaking to your “advisor” in person. I guess there was a shortage of staff that day so it was being done remotely.

    The woman says, “You just have to stay on the line. Somebody will pick up.” I said that I waited ten minutes and nobody picked up. She said, “I know. I have the same number. Somebody will pick up. Nobody will be here in person until 2:00. Just try again.” It was like 12:00 at the time. So I said, “It will be 2:00 before they pick up. Can I just come back and speak to somebody in person?” She laughed. I said, “No, I’m serious.” She said, “Try again. I promise that they’ll pick up.”

    So I went back and it was like 45 minutes before anyone picked up. And they just said whatever they had to say for two minutes and I was good for the next two weeks.

    Every time you move to a different borough, you have to go to a different JobCentre and re-apply. Each borough has their own rules. Sort of.

    I went to one place and there was a white guy working there. A white English guy. I thought, “This is weird.” He was like the receptionist. He would “greet” you as you enter and make sure that you had your job seeker’s booklet and then you’d wait for the next available “advisor”.

    Most of the “advisors” were South Asian women. And not British Asians. These were straight up immigrants from Bangladesh or something. And I remember one woman sitting there with her massive gut hanging out of her sari. Most of the women wore saris. Can this woman not feel her gut hanging out of her sari? Does she think that this is sexy? Cover up. This is fucking gross.

    This place also had my favourite “advisor”, the Nigerian gangster. He was an immigrant from Nigeria. He had a prominent grill and wore a bunch of chains and rings.

    He suggested that I should start a business. With what? I have no money. I have no business experience. I have no idea for a business. What is he suggesting that I sell? Khat? Khat was a popular drug at the time with the African immigrant community. It was legal at the time but they outlawed it in maybe 2009.

    So I decline his fucking idiotic suggestion that I start a business. And he says, “Okay. Some people like working for other people.”

    Yeah. Like you, you fucking faggot. You’re working at the Job Centre. And look at the state of you. You look fucking ridiculous. You couldn’t get any kind of respectable job looking like this, you fucking braying jackass.

    Everybody hated going there. Everybody knew that it was a total waste of time. And these advisors were only there to try to find ways to take your benefits away. They were required to revoke a certain number of benefits every week or whatever the time period was.

    Oh, and one day I went there and the receptionist, the only white English person I ever saw working in a JobCentre, suddenly grew a straggly red beard and was wearing a Muslim robe. I thought that it was a joke at first so I stifled a laugh. It was no joke. This fucking lunatic converted to Islam and he went all in.

    The area had a large Muslim population. One day, I overheard some local devout Muslim talking about how proud he was of this guy and asking how he’s finding Islam. Complete fucking joke. The guy was clearly mentally ill, as were a majority of the staff. Nobody cares.

    I went to a new JobCentre, after moving yet again, and I went through the whole process of re-applying. It was always automatic. I was getting benefits before so of course I’m eligible to get them again.

    But this time, they said that my application was rejected. I don’t remember if an explanation was given.

    So I get this letter and I go to the JobCentre and ask for an explanation. The South Asian “advisor”, who I think was British, was sympathetic but he said there’s nothing he can do. If I disagree with the decision, I can appeal.

    So I appealed. The appeal goes to an actual court so it’s not some hokey bullshit like a Department of Work and Pension internal review panel or something.

    I set out the reasons why I’m entitled to Job Seeker’s Allowance. I live in the UK, I have less than £2000 in the bank, and I’m looking for work. That’s it. Those are the only requirements. I had been living in the country for a year and a half at this time.

    I get a letter a month later from a judge wherein he asked the council (the JobCentre people) to explain why they rejected my application.

    Maybe a month later, they reply saying that I’m not a genuine job seeker.

    A month later, another letter from the judge asking the council to explain why they say that I’m not a job seeker.

    No reply.

    So it’s time to go to court. I get there and they say, “Oh, no. The council has agreed that you’re entitled to benefits.”

    This whole time, I was getting no money. I was living in a squat. I was nearly homeless. And no sensible explanation was ever given for why they refused the application.

    So I got everything that I was owed, back-dated and I proceeded to get Job Seekers Allowance from these people.

    One of the last times I went there, the receptionist, who was a Middle Eastern immigrant, I think, was just having a private conversation with some member of the public who she knew. And the queue is backing up. She sees that I’m standing there but she continues to have this private conversation with her friend.

    So I say fuck this. I go over to one of these “advisors”, some black woman, and say, “I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes. This receptionist is just having a private conversation, can you sign me off?” So she did.

    The people working at these places are incredible rude. They’re incompetent. They’re often mentally ill. But this is all by design. Of course the government can create a stable and professional process for distributing benefit money that treats people with respect and dignity. They don’t want to. They like making it as difficult as possible for impoverished people to get their £59/week. They like hassling the poor. They like keeping people down.

  • A Trip Down False-Memory Lane with Erin Plays

    Let’s get this casserole in the oven.

    She re-tweeted this. Hey guys! Remember the 1970s?

    Ummm…no? Do you, Miss Plays aka Cykil1986? You were born in 1987 (or, more likely, 1986). How can you possibly remember the 1970s?

    But you remember these Burger King cardboard clubhouses that you could get at JC Penney, right?

    No. I’ve never seen this before. It looks like shit. Who would buy this? The thing would be destroyed in two days. You can’t have a cardboard clubhouse.

    I remember a few times as a kid, I’d get some big cardboard box. Some large appliance would be purchased. And it was fun hanging out in there. Drawing on the interior walls and whatnot. But then my mother would throw them away after a couple of days.

    I’m not saying that I should still have those huge cardboard boxes. There’s obviously a low life-expectancy for cardboard boxes. But two days? Come on. Is it really so tragic to have a large cardboard box in your home for your children to play in for a little while? You can’t stand the mild inconvenience?

    “Why don’t you call? I can’t understand it?”

    Get me my fucking cardboard box and then maybe I’ll call.

    World’s worst fucking parent. You want to know how much parental advice I got? None. Zero. Not a single word of advice. Ever. Just a lot of, “Well, I wouldn’t have done that” after the fact. Then what the fuck would you have done? And couldn’t you have imparted this knowledge to me beforehand?

    Her idea of parenting was watching trash talk shows for ten hours a day. She was more interested in those faggot Club Kids on Geraldo than her own kids. Are those Club Kids calling her? No. They’re all long dead from AIDS-related illnesses.

    She re-tweeted this shit from Mr Retail Archaelogy.

    Hey guys! Remember Montgomery Ward? Some people used to call it “Monkey Wards”. Hehe. Monkeys.

    Who gives a shit? This is the best that you’ve got? A 40 minute video of a grown man flipping through a 1982 Montgomery Ward catalogue?

    Remember 1982? No. I don’t. And I’m ten years older than Erin. But somehow, Erin remembers 1982. She remembers going to Monkey Wards in 1982 in spite of the obvious disadvantage of not having been born yet.

    This is the most 1999 thing ever! OMG! SPICE GIRLS!

    Who was everyone’s favourite Spice Girl? For me, it was Scary Spice. She seemed to have the biggest tits. And she’d get them out. I think that they all got them out but I only remember Scary Spice’s tits.

    I don’t know. The other Spice Girls just didn’t toss my salad. Baby Spice: boring. Sporty Spice: lesbian. Posh Spice: bitch. Ginger Spice: up her own ass.

    But I’d give Scary Spice some loving. Is she single?

    No. In October 2022, she announced her engagement to 34 year old, totally heterosexual hairdresser Rory McPhee. Oh well. Best of luck to the happy couple.

    Hey guys! Remember Wawa?

    No, Erin. I don’t fucking remember it. I never saw one in my life. It’s a small, regional chain. Why are you always talking about it?

    What about Piggly Wiggly? You guys remember Piggly Wiggly?

    No. It was a fucking chain of grocery stores in the South.

    But I remember in the 8th grade, some girl in my class ran away with her 25 year old boyfriend. And when she came back, she had stories to tell about Piggly Wiggly. It’s a grocery store in the South? Wow. Tell us more about exotic grocery stores.

    Hey guys! Remember Scooby Doo?

    Yeah, I remember but the show was from the 1970s. Or was it 1960s?

    Oh, it started in 1969.

    Anyway, were they still showing Scooby Doo when Erin was a child? I don’t think so. And even they were, she wouldn’t have watched it. How could she? She was sat in front of a wall every day.

    But yeah, tv shows nowadays. What’s with the poor audio quality?

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe instead of pursuing this carpal tunnel scam, you should be getting your hearing checked instead.

    I remember going for a hearing test in the 10th grade. We were released from class early to go to this hearing test. So I’m walking there with a classmate of mine and I can’t believe that we’re just trusted to go to the school nurse for this test. So I say, “Can’t we just leave?” Like leave the school. And he said, “Well, you can but I’m going to the nurse.”

    I don’t remember what happened. I don’t remember going to the nurse for any hearing test but I also don’t remember leaving school. Maybe I just walked around the hallways for a while.

    I do remember skipping out of a “pep assembly”, though. Remember pep assemblies? I don’t because I think that I only went to one. Fuck that cringe shit. “GO TEAM!” Go fuck yourselves, you giant fucking nerds.

    In my school, it was the fucking nerds who played sports. The guys who were concerned about having extra-curricular activities on their “resume” so that they can get into a good college.

    It wasn’t like in the fucking movies where the “jocks” were the most popular kids in school. Giving the nerds swirlies and pantsing them and whatnot.

    Anyway, these pep assemblies were always during the last class of the day. So I’d just leave school. When my useless mother would ask why I’m home early, I’d just say that we got released early.

    So that’s it for Erin Plays and her magical adventures through fabricated nostalgia. What does the future hold for Erin Plays? Maybe she could get a job at a 1970s-themed restaurant.

    I was thinking about this whole fake *nostalgia* thing that “Youtubers” enjoy engaging in. Take Mike Matei, for example. When he talks about the 1980s, he’ll say stuff like, “Remember the Smurfs? And Silver Spoons? And Pee Wee’s Big Adventure?”

    Yeah. I remember that stuff, Mike. Because I was a kid in the 1980s. Same as you. But this isn’t an accurate representation of the decade. These are the memories that CHILDREN have of the 1980s. You’re talking about CHILDREN’S shit.

    Remember Falcon Crest? Remember Duran Duran? Remember fucking some chick with big hair while high on cocaine?

    No. I don’t remember any of that. I was alive when this stuff was going on but it wasn’t in my orbit.

    So who cares what Mike’s memories of the 1980s are? It’s just going to be children’s shit. He’s not an authority on the 1980s. He wasn’t old enough to have fully experienced the decade. Also, he can only possibly remember the last few years of the decade, in spite of him saying things like “Remember the A-Team cartoon from 1982 when I was two years old?”

    Or you look at Bobdunga when she talks about the 1990s. She talks about Beyblades and Sailor Moon and shit. This isn’t what I think about when I think about the 1990s. I didn’t even know what Beyblades were until I saw her video or something on it. But because she was a child in the 1990s, these are her memories. Children’s shit.

    Or when Kieran, when writing an AVGN script, said, “Nobody in the 1990s said ‘HoJo’. I can’t imagine any kid running around and saying ‘HoJo’”

    Yeah. Of course nobody was doing that. But adults in the 1990s did in fact call the Howard Johnson chain of hotels “HoJo”. But because Kieran was a child in the 1990s, he has a child’s understanding of the decade.

    As for Erin being *nostalgic* for the 1970s and 1980s, despite the fact that she can’t possibly have any memories of either decade, we can just chalk this up to her compulsive lying. She’s also trying to attract an older audience because she knows that older men will overlook more when it comes to who they watch on Youtube as well as actual relationships. And she’s preying on these pathetic men. Shaking them down for pennies. Remember the Oil Crisis? Remember Watergate? Remember disco?

    No, Erin. I don’t. Nor do you.

  • WTF Wednesday Review : Sorority Babes in a Slime Ball Bowl O Rama 2 – Newt Wallen

    0:45 – He’s talking about some director that he likes. “He did the 1313 movies if you’re into all-male erotica. You know, I’m not but I’m also not opposed to it.”

    I…what? Let me look this up.

    He was talking about David DeCoteau According to Wikipedia, he’s openly gay. There are 14 movies in the 1313 series and they were all released in 2011 and 2012. He seems to crank out a lot of total pieces of shit.

    But getting back to the 1313 movies, this is clearly homoerotica. Dicks and gore, if you will.

    None of these movies are worthy of a Wikipedia article but I found some reviews on IMDB. Like this one for Frankenqueen:

    The movie has an awesome cast of frat guy style bros who don’t wear shirts, and swim, hang out in the hot tub, drink beer, brag about chicks, work out, and wrestle. That’s not the story, it’s just the backdrop.

    The only drawback is the woman wearing the corset. She’s a scientist and she does a bunch of science, and there’s a pretty cool story about her evil plans and stuff. I liked that part, but she was pretty old. The good thing is any time she’s on the screen, so’s a bro, like getting scanned all evilly, walking slowly in his underwear, or laying on a bed or showering or something.

    I got a little confused about which guy was which, but it made sense once you figured out which one was well known for what – and that was important for the movie’s story. I really liked this movie. It was exactly the kind of non porny bro movie where you could enjoy some built guys without feeling like you were just watching something weird.

    No, no. That doesn’t sound weird at all. It sounds like that guy really enjoyed the movie except for the scenes where there was a woman.

    Maybe Newt should do a review on one of these movies. Try to win over the boys from the TheCinemassacreTruth sub-reddit.

    2:30 – “Nightmare Sisters I just saw myself a few months ago and myself and two very, very attractive, very out of my league ladies sat down and reviewed it but the footage didn’t look like how I wanted it to look so we’re going to get back together and redo that one.”

    What? Why is mentioning these people’s appearance?

    Because that’s exactly what these videos are. He’s making these videos for two reasons:

    1. To attract the horntard demographic
    2. To boost his own ego by paying women to spend time with him

    Newt, you’re supposed to be choosing people to co-host based on their knowledge of cinema and ability to present an engaging review. Not what they look like.

    But he’s openly admitting that it’s just about their appearance. This is his selection process. At least he’s honest about it. Tony from Hack the Movies does the same exact thing but he doesn’t state as such.

    3:00 – “The plan was, last year, to sit down with some of my very attractive horror-minded friends and start doing reviews.”

    Oh. He’s talking about that idea for a show that he had where he was going to review movies with that tatted-up old prostitute and some soccer mom. Yeah, that idea fell by the wayside because now Newt is a big time…what? What is he doing?

    On Twitter, he talks about all of these scripts that he’s writing. Comic book scripts and movie scripts. But what’s happening with them? Where is this fucking Florida Man comic? His last failed promise on this was that it was going to be released for Christmas. Christmas is here. Now is the time when people are buying Christmas gifts. Where’s the comic?

    Not here. Next Christmas, perhaps.

    And who the fuck can possibly be buying these awful, awful movie scripts? He openly admits that he shits them out in two days. “The sooner I write, the sooner I get paid”. This is a direct quote from Twitter. As here:

    Oh, no. I got it wrong. He actually said, “Quicker I write. Quicker I get paid.”

    Where do I even begin with the mistakes in those two alleged sentences? And this guy says that he’s a fucking writer?

    3:30 – He’s reminiscing about the 1990s, before the internet. “You’re in an era for horny, prepubescent dudes to get to see boobs and butts and gore and in that time, I was that perfect age for that kind of kid.”

    And he’s obviously still at that age mentally. It’s the same fucking video over and over and over again. Newt in his kitchen talking about some “tits and gore” video that NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN AND NEVER WANTS TO SEE.

    Who’s the fucking audience for this? Who is ever going to look for a review of Sorority Babes in Slime…whatever this is called? Nobody. Nobody has ever seen the movie so of course nobody is going to want to look for a review of it.

    Parallels can be drawn to the Gamergrrls blog. Nobody on earth is looking for reviews of Youtube videos. Is this a genre that even exists? Certainly, nobody is looking for reviews of Youtube videos for the little-known Youtubers who I cover.

    So why do people come here? Because my prose transcends the topic. The videos are just a vehicle to showcase my comedic writing, political ideology, and talk about anecdotes from my past.

    I don’t even think that people watch the videos. Who the fuck is watching an Erin Plays video or any of these other nobodies who I talk about? They come here because they like the GamerGrrls persona. They’re entertained by the articles.

    Is Newt Wallen transcending the tits and gore genre? Is anyone tuning in because Newt is so charismatic? Or witty? Or he has so many interesting things to say? Do people like the Newt Wallen persona?

    He’s a fucking creep. I’m sorry. He’s a creepy man. He pays women to hang out with him. He’s constantly talking about tits and gore. He’s clearly mentally unwell. He quit his job to pursue these horrible ideas that are clearly doomed to failure.

    What’s the appeal? There is none.

    14:15 – “I hate always talking about tits and gore. Everybody is like, ‘Oh, this is all he ever talks about’. No, it’s just a big part of my fucking upbringing was being a horny little fucking idiot and now I’m a horny old idiot and I like seeing that kind of shit in horror movies.”

    We all enjoy pornography, Newt. You don’t have to talk about it in every fucking video. You don’t have to talk about it AT ALL. It’s not an interesting topic.

    You ever see Boobarella? That Wendy Whoppers really had some big breasts. And she got fucked. It was pretty hot.

    Who cares? This is boring. Nobody wants to read about porn. Or watch some Youtube video where a guy talks about porn. Even watching porn itself, unless you’re in the mood, that shit is boring as fuck. Nobody is watching porn for general entertainment.

    Is anybody being titillated by Newt’s videos? “Oh, yeah. He’s going to talk about boobies. Give it to me, Newt. I’m ready to go.”

    15:00 – “I watch good shit too but who the fuck wants to see a 41 year old guy sitting in his fucking kitchen talking about art when he could be talking about, ‘Oh, yeah. This shitty movie reminds me of this shitty movie’ and, ‘Oh, there was this really cool kill; and, ‘Somebody’s boobs were big’? The only reason people watch this kind of shit is to see me talking about that kind of stuff or to tell me that I suck.’”

    Again, I don’t buy it for the reasons explained above. Not a single person is tuning in, with their dick in their hand, ready for Newt to talk about big boobs. That’s not erotic. To anyone.

    If he was reviewing legitimate movies, I can see an audience for that. Maybe not Newt in particular because I don’t know if he has the charisma to pull it off but obviously people watch movie reviews. If they’re funny or engaging in some way, people will watch.

    Look at video game reviews. If somebody is knowledgeable and engaging like, say, Joe from Gamesack, they’ll watch the videos. If somebody isn’t interesting like, say, Erin Plays, they won’t watch.

    Then you look at somebody like James Rolfe. Nobody was fucking watching the videos because they were interested in hearing James Rolfe’s opinions on Deadly Towers or whatever. They watched because the videos were funny and engaging. He transcended the subject matter. People were entertained by the video itself, not the subject. The game was just a vehicle to showcase his comedy.

    I don’t think that Newt is going to transcend shit. Look at fucking Tony from Hack the Movies. Those videos are entirely unwatchable due to the absolute dearth of charisma or comedic abilities of everyone involved. Newt is no different. He’s not a funny guy. I’ve never laughed at anything that he said. And where’s the charisma?

    It’s conceivable, although extremely unlikely, that if he was reviewing normal movies he could churn out watchable videos. He was watchable on Hack the Movies. So maybe something like that. Maybe. It’s doubtful, though.

    What I would recommend, of course, is to get a normal job like a normal person and put this Youtube shit away. It’s the exact same advice that I have for everybody whose videos I cover. So it’s not just Newt. I’m not picking on Newt. They’re all terrible. They’re all unwatchable. None of them have any talent for this shit. Erin Plays, Bobdunga, Retro Ali, CannotBeTamed, Pelvic Gamer, John Riggs, Tony from Hack the Movies, Horseface, Johanna, Destiny Fomo, Zap Cristal, they should all shut down their channels right now, today, and go out and find a normal job that they’re good at and will enjoy.

    17:45 – “Let’s do a gender swap one next time. Let’s do Sorority Hunks.”

    Umm…I think that it would be Fraternity Hunks. And I think that the guy who did that 1313 movie already made such a movie. Maybe several of them.

    Comments.

    • “Newt: who wants to watch a 41 year old man in his kitchen.. Me: me! Newt: I want someone to exploit me.. Also me: hand raise”

    That was from Christine Horror. Good taste prevents me from linking to her Youtube channel but she’s a…let’s say rubenesque middle aged woman. But is it a woman? You never know with Newt’s crowd. It might be a man in a dress.

    Anyway, Newt replies, “Haha you are the best”. So he’s up for it. But not really. He’s only interested in paying “hot” women for their company.

  • Pam aka CannotBeTamed is Taking a Depression Vacation

    She hasn’t posted a video in nine days, which is unusual because her autistic ass has posted consistently every seven days for however many years. And here’s her latest tweet:

    “It would be fun to not make anymore YouTube videos and instead just nap.”

    Excess sleep is a sign of depression, of course. And if that’s not proof enough she says in the comments that she’ll be drinking gin. She’s a drunk. Alcohol abuse is another sign of depression.

    She posted that five days ago and she’s a regular user of Twitter. She usually posts every couple of days at the most.

    Here’s a comment from a horntard:

    • “Nap sound great. Especially if you have someone special with four legs and soft fur to nap with.”

    Uh huh. And in Pam’s “about me” section she says, “Talks about new and retro games, makes videos, cuddles cute animals.”

    This stuff writes itself. I don’t have to make any crude bestiality comments.

    Has she been streaming? No. Last Twitch stream was ten days ago.

    So yeah, she’s reached rock bottom and she’s re-evaluating her life. Good for Pam. What are you making these shitty Youtube videos for? She’s a complete charisma blackhole. And her relentless misandrist comments do not go over well when 99.9% of her audience are guys.

    Oh. And she complained about her latest video doing poorly.

    She says, “Wow this is bombing even harder than I thought it would. The lesson is never try.”

    How bad is this video? Let me check it out.

    It’s pretty pretentious but not much more than her usual videos.

    Okay, I’m turning this off at the four minute mark. It’s a game about…medieval…writing? Something. I can see why this wasn’t a hit with the horntards.

    So yeah, this is why she’s taking a break from the internet. She got depressed because people aren’t watching her shitty videos.

    If only interested in views, you’re doing this for the wrong reason. When I moved my blog to WordPress, there was a huge decrease in views. Tough to say how much. It was maybe cut in half? Maybe more.

    But I’m not doing it for views or for money or whatever. I’m doing it because I’m passionate about critiquing the shit videos of god awful “Youtubers”. You can’t just chase trends. You have to be true to yourself. Make the kind of “content” (Youtube videos, blog articles, whatever) that you want to make.

    This is why Erin’s channel is a total disaster. Well, one of many reasons. She’s a total fraud and people can see right through that shit. So they don’t want to watch.

    If she was making videos on something that she was actually interested in, say, Britney Spears, maybe she could build an audience. Although, in Erin’s case, I don’t think that anything she does is going to build an audience. Negative fucking charisma and she doesn’t know anything about anything.

    And Pam can do videos on…well, makeup, for example. How’s the Makeup DLC channel doing? Oh. Not so good. So she abandoned it. Didn’t have the passion for it.

    What about videos on your warped idea of feminism?

    Or dog…no, I don’t think Youtube will allow that.

    Oh, there’s also her awful podcast about alcohol, video games, and movies all wrapped up in lesbianism. How’s that doing? Oh.

    ,

  • After 2 Years, I Finally Finished My Game Room! – Zap Cristal

    Whoa! It’s Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal in a tank top. Hello ladies!

    It’s fucking ridiculous. We’re supposed to be jerking off to this? Come on.

    0:00 – Ummm…annoying sound effects and then she starts dancing. I…guess she’s trying to make these videos interesting but…I don’t know. This isn’t the way. This is just embrassing.

    Then her son, who’s filming his mother doing this “sexy” dance in her “sexy” tank top asks her to stop. This is some scripted “comedy” but again, it’s just embarrasing.

    I mean…she’s a little on the chunky side. But people are into that. She has big tits. She’s an average-looking middle aged woman. A 5/10.

    But too hot to be an influencer? No. She should not be trying to capitalise on her appearance. And doing this weird “sexy” stuff in front of her son is…the authorities should be called. This is disturbing.

    1:15 – She’s showing the crap on her shelves. She shows some Cuphead drinking glasses. She says, “This was one of my many Christmas gifts that you guys actually gave me.” And there’s footage of some stream where she was presumably showing gifts that the horntards sent. And her unfortunate son is there.

    So anyway, she’s showing her collection. She has games and toys and whatnot. And I can think is why is she wasting her money on this shit? She has a son. Shouldn’t she be spending her money in a more responsible fashion? Even if she’s not going to invest it, just keeping the money in the fucking bank would be a better use of her money.

    No, she’s going to blow it all on video games and toys so that she has something to put on her many shelves. It’s insane.

    And they’ve sold their collection previously. Her husband said that God told him to sell his collection after their car broke down or something. I forget the story exactly but I remember him saying that God told him to sell the collection.

    So did God tell these people to restart the collection too? Why is God so invested in their video game collections? Doesn’t God have other things to do? Well, he’s all-knowing and all-powerful, I guess. But still. It seems beneath God to get involved in people’s video game collections.

    7:30 – She’s showing her badge collection. Badges that she got from nerd conventions. You know…on lanyards. Is “lanyard” a term used in the US? I’ve only heard it in the UK. Maybe because I never had a reason to discuss lanyards in the US.

    “It reminds me that we are on the right path and we are doing really, really well.”

    God has ordained Zap Cristal to be the saviour of retro gaming Youtube channels.

    I’m at 12 minutes. Come on. I don’t want to watch any more. There’s another ten minutes of this shit. I get it. You have some video games and various crap. Neat.

    No. I’m sorry. God is telling me to end this video. I made it to 14:45.

    Let’s check out the blessed comments.

    Nothing interesting. Has God abandoned me?

    Let’s try her Twitter.

    She retweets some weird bullshit.

    TIME FREEDOM. LOCATION FREEDOM. MONEY FREEDOM. Separate how your money is made from how much time you work. Separate your money from your location. Separate the money from your basic needs from the need to do active work.

    So…what? She wants to make money without doing any work? Oh, I don’t think that God is down with that.

    • “Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow.” (Proverbs 13:11)
    • “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
    • “Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’” (Mathew 19:21)
    • “Then some soldiers asked him, ‘And what should we do?” He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—be content with your pay.’” (Luke 3:14)
    • “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” (Timothy 6:10)

    We can go on with this. I think that God’s position is pretty clear.

    She’s trying to do some “collab” with other “creators”. Then she sends a follow up tweet reminding people that it’s by invitation only.

    Nobody replies because nobody gives a shit. Zap Cristal is absolutely rock bottom. She has 5,000 subscribers. Why does she have such a high opinion of herself? It’s extremely off-putting. What does the bible have to say about humility?

    • “The LORD Almighty has a day in store for all the proud and lofty, for all that is exalted (and they will be humbled),” (Isaiah 2:21)
    • “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,” (Philippians 2:3)
    • “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)
    • “The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.” (Proverbs 16:5)
    • “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (Romans 12:16)

    It’s all right there in the fucking bible. God is going to punish this extremely vain woman. It can’t be any clearer. Show me the bible verses that SUPPORT vanity and conceit.

    This woman doesn’t know the word of God from her own fat ass.

  • The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya (Part 1) | Tales of the Lost – Bobdunga – Ray Mona

    An hour and a half. AND THIS IS JUST PART 1!

    It’s fucking mental. I’m not watching this shit. A feature-length Youtube video about a “lost” anime or something? There is no way.

    I’ll try to give it at least ten minutes.

    0:00 – There are English, Spanish, and Portugese subtitles. I’d be really surprised if she paid for this. So who are the pathetic horntards who agreed to do all of this work for free? Translate and subtitle a 90 minute video? I’m thinking that this is 20 hours of work, easy.

    But first a word from our sponsor: Raid Shadow Legends.

    Really? That’s the best that you can do?

    0:30 – “I’ve been playing Raid for a while now.”

    Uh huh. Tell us more, Bobdunga. Or Ray Mona. Or whatever name you’re using this week. You’re a big “Raid” fan, are you?

    2:00 – Oh fuck me. So after this two minute commercial, the video finally starts. It’s Bobdunga in dim light wearing a suit and fedora like she’s a detective from a 1930s film noire. FUCK THIS PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT!

    Wait. Maybe it wasn’t even her. Well, it’s still pathetic because she’s talking about the great detective work that you’re going to see in this video. You know…uncovering a lost FUCKING CARTOON.

    2:15 – Now there’s stock footage or video game footage or something of the interior of some pyramid. Really? She thinks that this Japanese cartoon that nobody cares about is going to be in an Egyptian tomb? I’m not a 1930s detective but I think we can safely cross ancient Egyptian tombs off of our list of places where this cartoon might be.

    Every one of her fucking videos are like this. With the first one, I thought, “Well, that was weird but I guess that there was kind of some detective work involved. Maybe.”

    But then the second one was the same fucking thing where Bobdunga is talking to shadowy underworld figures in the anime world. And now this one is the same.

    Just present the fucking material. We don’t need these god awful X-Files rip offs. And did Scully and Mulder ever look for fucking video games and anime? I stopped watching after the first few seasons. I outgrew that shit.

    You know what I’m reminded of? Those people with mental illness who think that they’re receiving coded messages from the television and whatnot. Like I read a story about a woman who taped every episode of the local news, she had several VCRs running at once to get all of the broadcasts on the different channels, because she thought that there was some hidden message in these broadcasts.

    3:15 – Oh fuck. Now she has the definition of “serendipity” on screen. Can this be any more up it’s own ass? And I’m still on this fucking unending prologue.

    3:30 – Now there’s a shoutout to Horace Walpoe. You guys all know Horace Walpoe, right? The 18th century English writer? Well, he was all about serendipity. I guess.

    Fuck Horace Walpoe and fuck crazy Bobdunga.

    God…fucking end this shit. I’m already sick of it. IT’S JUST A JAPANESE CARTOON, YOU BUFFOON. PRESENT THE FUCKING MATERIAL!

    6:15 – So we’re finally done with this pretentious as fuck prologue. Now we get a two minute “intro” with music and images of…something. I don’t know. Anime shit.

    GET TO THE FUCKING POINT!

    You can take all of this mentally ill fluff out of the video and condense it into a 15 minute video. “Here are the people I contacted, here’s what they told me, here’s the ‘lost’ media. Turns out it wasn’t actually that lost. Hehe. Sorry about that, guys.”

    We don’t need the fucking cloak and dagger bullshit. It’s idiotic.

    7:45 – “Fresh off the adrenaline rush of my last discovery.”

    Eugh. You mean that fucking anime that was in the Library of Congress ? Hardly lost, was it? It’s only the world’s largest library. Not exactly obscure.

    8:00 – So she’s talking about other “lost” media that she wants to make a video on. She browsing the Lost Media Wiki and says that maybe she could look for another “lost” video game. Then she says that maybe she could look for “lost” television commercials and there’s a picture of an article about a Grumpy Cat Christmas commercial from 2014.

    Yeah. It would be fucking awful if society never got to see the Grumpy Cat commercial from 2014 again. What a treasure that was. Go put your fedora on and get to work, Bobdunga.

    Instead, she decided to look for something that was related to her last video. Because she already had the contacts with these shadowy figures who told her where to find the last piece of “lost” media.

    So what happened, Bobdunga. Just tell us. Did you check The Library of Congress first? That would have been my choice.

    We don’t know. And I’ll never know because I’m not going to watch this shit and she’s going to stretch this out for another 80 minutes.

    9:30 – Now she’s talking about alternate timelines. Fuck this shit.

    You know, I was watching 12 Monkeys the other day. I remembered liking it but watching it again, it’s not as good as I remembered. I like time travel films, much like America’s favourite autist James Rolfe, but there were just too many holes in the story.

    Why was he collecting specimens like the cockroach and the spider? How would that help in solving the virus problem? How was he able to hear the voice of Bob? Who was that woman who got strangled? Why did the Bruce Willis character see the Brad Pitt character in his flashbacks? Why was the Bruce Willis character required to shoot that guy in the end? And when he failed, how is that “insurance agent” on the plane at the end of the movie?

    It’s just weird shit happening with no explanation. I’m not saying that everything has to be explained in the movie. “Oh, here are the detailed schematics for how the interrogation machine works.” But everything should have some kind of plausible explanation. The woman gets strangled, you assume that it’s the woman who the Bruce Willis character was with because he was last seen about to strangle her, but no. It was a different woman. And then they just move on. What? Why are they blaming the Bruce Willis character for this?

    Whatever. I have another 30 seconds of Bobdunga drivel to watch and then I’m turning this shit off.

    Okay. I’m done. Fuck this shit. It’s just Bobdunga talking about how much she’s been “researching” on The Library of Congress website. Good stuff.

    I’m glad that Bobdunga has become passionate about libraries. As a kid, I remember going to the school library and public libraries and searching through the card catalogue. The Dewey Decimal System and all that.

    You’d look up a subject that you’re interested in, find a book title that looks promising, and then the card would tell you the number of the book. It was all coded somehow. I don’t remember. So you’d take this information and you were able to find the book this way. Riveting stuff.

    Of course, libraries have been in a sharp decline since the advent of the internet. A lot of them have closed and they’re continuing to close. They’re just warming shelters for the homeless now.

    A couple of years ago, I went to a local library during my lunch break from work. I was wearing a suit. I hadn’t been to a library in 15 years. I thought it would be nice to check it out. It was a nice little library. Check out the local culture.

    The librarian looked at me like I was insane. What are you doing here? I looked around and there’s a bunch of homeless people on computers. So I just flipped through a random book, put it back, and left.

    1:26:00 – I just skipped to the end. She didn’t find it. But she got some other stuff from The Library of Congress. Then she shows the intro to some anime called Guardians of the Cosmos. It’s has some really, really annoying music.

    Oh my fucking god am I glad that I didn’t watch this. Ninety minutes and NOTHING HAPPENED. She just got a package from The Library of Congress from her previous request.

    Bobdunga…we all like receiving packages in the mail. But we don’t all make 90 minute videos on this.

    Let’s check out the comments.

    • “The first half hour of this video could have been comfortably condensed to five minutes…”

    She hasn’t managed to delete that one yet. But it’s nice to see that it’s not just me who has a problem with this.

    • “Definitely one of the best documentaries that I EVER WATCHED in my entire life!!!”

    Really? Come on.

    I saw Roger and Me with my girlfriend last year. I saw it as a kid too. She was upset at the rabbit scene. But that’s a much better documentary than this fucking anime shit that didn’t go anywhere. Everything is in The Library of Congress. We get it. It’s a big library. They’ve got a lot of stuff in there.

    Or what about Hoop Dreams? That was a good documentary too.

    ,

  • Violent Night Review – Newt Wallen

    0:00 – “How are my little ho ho ho’s doing?”

    His audience is 99.5% men. And of that 99.5% figure, probably 25% of them are ladyboys. So…let’s just move on.

    0:30 – “Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? I don’t know. I wish that Youtubers who ran out of ideas back in 2009 would talk about it online.”

    He’s calling out James Rolfe. But with respect to the Ideas Man, Newt ran out of ideas at least as fast as James Rolfe did. Everything is fucking tits and gore. I’ve been watching Newt’s videos for a year and I’m fucking sick of them. LONG since sick of them.

    I am not interested in these fucking movies. At all. And I never have been. I only watch because of Newt’s crazy get rich quick schemes and his endless pining for Horseface.

    All of this bullshit with PVC Bondage Girl is just an attempt to make Horseface jealous. PVC Bondage Girl deserves better than that.

    Newt is mentally ill and he surrounds himself with mentally ill people. So they all feed off their terrible ideas that are borne out of mental illness. “Yeah! Newt! You should go do that Shark Vampire movie. That sounds like a good thing to sink your life’s savings into.” It’s a self-destructive environment.

    This aspect of Newt was interesting, albeit very sad. I don’t want to encourage this because he’s completely ruining his life with this shit, but that’s the reality on why I was watching: to see Newt’s latest hair-brained, plagiarised ideas that were all doomed to failure.

    These movie reviews are awful. What Newt needs to do is quit all of this bullshit and go get a job. There’s nothing wrong with managing a movie theatre. Or if he doesn’t want to do that, go look for a different job. But not this Youtube bullshit, not writing, not being a big movie moviemaker. These things are not going to work. These things require skills that Newt does not possess.

    11:15 – Newt is listing the reasons why he hates Christmas. Just more pity party bullshit. “My fiance left me on Christmas Eve, I lost another loved one on Christmas night, I had to fly across the country when I got broken up with by a girlfriend on Christmas Eve, I got my cancer diagnosis. All that kind of stuff.”

    What’s the relevance? Some stuff happened around Christmas. Who cares? It has no relation to the holiday itself.

    Reasons for not liking Christmas would be things like, “I don’t like the consumerism”, “I don’t like the gluttony”, “I don’t like how it’s become a secular holiday”, whatever. Things that actually related to the holiday. Not personal anecdotes. But everything has to be about Newt.

    “I never have enough money to show people I love how much I love them by giving them monetary possessions.”

    So get a job. And obviously, this is not the way to express one’s love for somebody, but this is Newt’s way. He enjoys paying women for their company. It’s the only way he’s able to relate to women.

    Then he complains about having to work on Christmas. Who fucking cares? It’s irrelevant.

    12:00 – “I’m going to try to get into the Christmas spirit this year.”

    By doing what? And why? You’re a single man. If you’re not going to visit anyone, just treat it as another day.

    My girlfriend has made comments like I should get a Christmas tree or decorate my home or whatever. For what? It’s just me living here. I’d be insane to decorate..

    Am I going to cook a big turkey dinner for myself too? It’s ridiculous.

    I don’t do anything for Christmas. It’s fine. This is what I want to do. If I wanted to visit my family or get another girlfriend, I’d do that. But I don’t.

    Newt seems to be in a roughly similar situation but he’s wallowing in pity over this. Why? Do whatever you fucking want. If you want to visit your family, visit your family. If you want to get a girlfriend, get a girlfriend. If you want to sit at home and do nothing, sit at home and do nothing. There’s nothing wrong with any of these options.

    14:00 – “Let’s be shameless hacks like everybody else on Youtube. It works out pretty well for them. Maybe I’ll just start laughing at everything because I’m too scared to not talk and not being the centre of attention for two seconds.”

    Shout out to Tony from Hack the Movies.

    Then he ends with “Happy Holiday”. Which holiday? We’re not sure. He’s suddenly afraid to say “Christmas”. Such is the insidious nature of this “Happy Holidays” campaign that swept the US in the 1980s and, apparently, continues to today. People don’t even realise how fucking stupid it sounds. It’s just become the normal phrase in the US, supplanting “Merry Christmas”.

    Oh, here’s a long thread. I’ll embolden Newt’s responses.

    • “Good for you taking shots at your former friends! I was at too many games in June, and one of them who won’t be named was talking a lot of crap about you and how, after faking your writing, you faked your breakdown! People were laughing, but one guy said “hey, he’s not here to defend himself” and they didn’t know what to say lol Keep going nuclear on those frauds!”
    • “You are not 1st to tell me this. Did i make a mistake while working with them. 100 percent. I knew i was wrong. And I knew I should have checked to make sure things were rewritten. But I did not. And I could try an blame my facing of my molester that summer or Of my father taking me out of his will. Of the ticking clock trying to get my life in order before someone I loved got engaged. I could blame the many jobs I was doing covering for other peoples laziness or drunkenness I could say look at me. I got bells palsy from stress trying to hold it all together. Could say why did I have to write 26 scripts. Why did no one bother to check the work till they got caught. But im tired. I accept all my mistakes. I vow to never make them again. I should have said no. I should have said it was too much. But I wanted people to like me. And respect me. And I was wrong. But to joke about that breakdown. Ripples of which I still feel today. Well I hope that internet clouts worth it. I said my sorrys. I think about it everyday. But I let myself get used. And im trying to stop being a punchline.”
    • “Good on you man! It was really distasteful and I don’t look at that person the same anymore when I see them online. It’s really sad to be the scapegoat in that situation and I can’t imagine how you must feel. Keep your head up though you’re on your way to having a great 2023! Cheers Newt!”
    • “I learned a lot about all those people. And I look fwd to continuing to work with people who actually believe in me. And have my back. And I hope some of them realize what they lost out on by abandoning me. When I needed help. But who knows. And im no scapegoat. Like I said I should have said no. Or stop. Or checked the work.”
    • “Glad to hear that too. It’s kinda sad when it gets me thinking of a whole group turning their back on me. Makes me hope at least 1 or 2 of them still talk to you even if it’s “low key”. I assumed maybe a couple of them still do just because you only ever mention 1 or 2 of them by name anymore, while the rest of them you refuse to say their names in your videos lol”
    • “not anymore no. But I have tried. And look im making new friends. Or trying to at age 41. And im still working on myself.”
    • “wait crystal is getting engaged? To one of the slobs??”
    • “not that im aware of. But im blocked by them all.”
    • “…. It wasn’t Jimmy right? I know you said no names but that doesn’t seem like a Jimmy thing to do. Also yeah good on Newt for firing back.”
    • “no he and I spoke last Christmas and ended our time in each others orbits on good terms. I explained why And made an appolgy for hurting his brand. I have no ill will. Mike too. He was always very kind and understanding.”
    • “Sorry you had to go through all of that newt. Shit Fucking sucks. We gotta learn to push forward and live life the best we can!”
    • “it was not all bad. We let things happen or do dumb things cause we think we have to. Or we are acared And sometimes works. Other times not so much. Im on diff path. I at least cant get blamed when next scandal breaks”
    • “so true! I watch more of your content than I do the other channel”
    • “I appreciate that. Im just trying to figure out how to make people smile. Or laugh or whatever with these. Sometimes i stick the landing. But I do em cause it gives me an excuse to talk to people like you”
    • “I’m so happy you’re doing what you love! I’m so glad i discovered you because we have the same taste in movies unlike other people I’ve met. Keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll keep watching!”
    • “im glad you found me too. Im very lucky to have some many cool weirdos in my orbit”

    It’s just Newt feeling sorry for himself and talking about the most important person in the universe: himself.

  • Hostel Living in London

    As soon as I arrived in London, I thought, “This was a mistake.” I hated the place from the moment I got off the airplane until the moment I left ten years later. It was in such sharp contrast to Dublin, which I liked, in spite of the shitty circumstances that I was in.

    So I take a taxi from the airport. For the entire journey, the Cockney taxi driver was complaining that I was taking him away from “the football”. “I wanted to watch the football! I’m missing the football”. Well, I’m sorry that you have to do your fucking job. I didn’t know that you wanted to watch a bunch of men in little short pants chasing after each other and fondling each other’s buttocks. Had I known, I would have taken a different taxi.

    There’s a fucking soccer game every fucking day. Probably many times a day. They’re all totally inconsequential. And it’s the most boring sport in the fucking universe. But this guy REALLY wanted to watch the game.

    So I get to the Royal Bayswater Hotel. Sounds fancy. The queen herself probably stayed there.

    But when I arrived, it was just scumbags staying there. There was a big fat South Asian guy sitting on the floor of this twelve person dorm with his legs spread out at a 90 degree angle. I greeted him and he said, “This is my bed” and pointed to the bed that was behind him. Well, okay. I didn’t plan on climbing over him but he was apparently concerned.

    At night, there would be loud parties going on and in the morning, you would see a huge mess in the communal areas.

    I stayed, I don’t know, a few days? On my last day, I saw a pimp talking to two prostitutes in the lobby. Maybe it wasn’t a pimp because it was a white guy, but it seemed like a pimp. And it was a South Asian woman and a white woman.

    I went to a few different hostels. They were all god awful. Unimaginably bad. You wouldn’t think that it’s possible to have hostels this fucking bad, not just in a Western country, but anywhere.

    Some of them would stack not just regular bunkbeds but three story high bunkbeds. So there would be a tiny fucking room, that in any normal situation would only fit one bed, and they would cram four of these three story high bunkbeds. So twelve people in a tiny room.

    I walked down the stairs of one place and some South Asian guy who worked there started yelling at me. “We’re painting!” What do you want me to do? There’s only one exit. And I saw that you were painting so I was careful not to touch anything.

    There was some creepy old gay guy working at one of the places. He was the only person I ever saw working at any of these places who was over the age of 30.

    That reminds me. There was literally a hostel that advertised itself as a place to meet gay men. And the owners were two gay men who used the hostel as a place to have sex with the guests. Let me look this up. I don’t think I could post this even if I found it but let me check.

    No, I think that I can post this. The place is closed now. But it was called London House Gay Hostel. So they weren’t hiding anything. You can do your own research. Anyway, I didn’t stay there.

    At first, I tried to stay in mixed room dorms, hoping that I could get something going with a sexy lady, but nothing happened. So later, I tried to stay in dorms with just guys in order to avoid any of the petty drama that comes with women. They’d complain about shit. People turning the lights on at night and whatever. I mean…yeah, it’s obviously rude and the accommodation is atrocious but this is just how it is. Complaining won’t help. And these scumbags are from all over the world. They have different levels of civility. And we’re paying like £10/night for this shit. What can you really expect?

    There always seemed to be a problem with the showers at these places. Communal showers. Like prison style. There were probably partitions and maybe even like cubicles but I don’t remember.

    What I do remember is a woman asking me if the showers were working. She asked me this while we were in the bathroom together. This place had co-ed bathrooms, which is insane. So I said, “Yeah, they’re working.” So she said, “Thanks” and then proceeded to take her top off, get undressed, and go into the shower. I wish that this story had a sexier ending but I just tried to play it cool and went about my business. Like I see women taking their clothes off and getting into the shower every day.

    I eventually settled on one hostel. I stayed there for…fuck. I don’t know. Maybe six weeks. I think that it was £50/week. You got a slight discount if you paid weekly.

    I was really burning through my money. Throughout all of this, I was looking for work every day but I wasn’t getting much of a response. I was getting way more interviews in Dublin.

    I was moved to a dorm that had long-term guests, like I was. Immigrants looking for work. But then some shady English guy moved in, presumably a junkie, and he stole my Game Boy Advance and I had a couple of games. There was no place to lock your stuff but everybody there seemed fairly trustworthy. We knew each other and would talk.

    So I go to reception and say that my Game Boy was stolen and I told him who I thought did it. It was all Australian people working there, by the way. This guy couldn’t give less of a fuck. So I said, “Should I call the police or what?” He said, “Do what you want.”

    Then he says that this place isn’t for long-term living and how long do I plan on staying here. I said, “Until I get a job.” He wasn’t happy with that answer.

    So I started looking for a place to live. I was looking for the cheapest possible places. £50/week was pretty much the low end of the scale.

    I found a place, I called them, and they said, “Yeah, just come over at (whatever time) and we’ll show you the place.”

    I get there. I’ll give some pretentious detail that will only mean anything to people who have lived in London. It was a big tower block (large apartment building) that used to be council housing (government-owned properties for poor people) in East London. Bethnal Green was the name of the borough. It’s a place where impoverished immigrants have historically lived and the current main immigrant group there was…I don’t know. Bangleshi? Middle Easterners? Loads of women in ninja gear. That’s all I can say.

    There were also some really, really, REALLY poor white English people living there. But not many.

    So I get to the apartment. There are three rooms (two bedrooms and a living room that was converted into a bedroom) and two people in the two normal bedrooms and one person in the living room/bedroom. The guy in the living room/bedroom had the lease for the property, and he sub-let the place out to everyone else. This was a common thing to do in this rock-bottom segment of the market.

    It was a guy from Lithuania. The sub-letters were a guy from the Czech Republic and two women from…I don’t know…Eastern Europe, somewhere.

    So this guy from the Czech Republic showed me this tiny, dilapidated property. Mould all over the bathroom walls. Mould in the bedrooms. But whatever. I said that I’d take it. So he told the Lithuanian guy, the Lithuanian guy approved, and that was that. I gave them a £50 deposit, £50 for the first week, and I was free to move in whenever I wanted. This guy from the Czech Republic would be my roommate.

    It was the first place that I saw and it was a total dump but I was just happy to finally be able to get out of these hostels.

    Throughout all of this, I was getting benefit (welfare) money. It was like £59/week. I applied like two weeks after I arrived. It’s crazy that this worked. You have to show that you’re living in the country but is two weeks enough to prove that you’re living in a country? I filled all of the information out honestly and I got the money so they must have thought so.

    £59/week is not sufficient, though. You’re also supposed to get your rent paid. This £59 was for any extra expenses.

    But I didn’t really have rent. I was living in hostels. I suppose that they should have paid for the hostels. But I didn’t want to chance it so I just applied for this £59/week. Also, I was moving to different hostels a lot. And really, every time I moved, I was supposed to apply again in the new borough where the hostel was located. I didn’t know this. But every borough has their own system and you’re only supposed to get money from them if you live in that borough.

    Anyway, the £59/week helped because I was almost out of money when I moved to London. I needed £50/week for the hostel and then I used that £9 for food. If I ever needed to take a train or bus, that £9 for the week would be wiped out.

    This hostel bullshit was all behind me, though. I was finally going to live like a human being again, or so I thought. I must have stayed in the hostels…I don’t know…for three months? Something like this. Really, really terrible. I wouldn’t recommend it. But if you’re a young person and don’t have money and you’re moving to a foreign country and you don’t know anyone, it’s the only way to do it.

  • WTF Wednesday Review: Lost Highway – Newt Wallen

    Fifty-three fucking minutes of PVC Bondage Girl (who perhaps needs to lay off the Bavarian pretzels for a while) and Newt, in Newt’s car.

    They’re clearly in a relationship. Come on. Maybe PVC Bondage Girl’s Minnesota girlfriend can’t see it, but I can. I’m not fucking retarded. They’ve done like a dozen videos recently. They’re always watching movies together. She’s always in his kitchen. Late at night. Or in his car. He’s probably paying her. Some sugardaddy thing. This is what Newt does. He’s a fucking creep.

    So they’re going to talk about this tits and gore movie because this is all that Newt knows how to do. And he’s making these videos so fucking long. He’s taking the worst aspects of Hack the Movies and applying them to his shitty channel. Here’s what he’s doing:

    • Find an unattractive woman
    • Summarise the movie
    • Have the video go on for about an hour or more

    These are the things that have made Hack the Movies UNWATCHABLE. So Newt has taken these fucking god awful ideas and ran with them. He’s ripping off Hack the Movies and doing so in the worst possible way.

    Hey…Ideas Man…maybe try ripping off the GOOD aspects of Hack the Movies. He doesn’t have a fucking clue.

    1:00 – PVC Bondage Girl indicates that she was born in 1997. That makes her about 25 years old. Newt is about 40. How much is this costing you, Newt?

    2:45 – Eugh. PVC Bondage Girl is talking about the favourite movies of the Columbine shooters. She’s interested in this shit. Just like Horseface has an interest in murderers.

    This is so fucking boring. I’m just listening for the word “tits”. But I’m thinking maybe it’s anti-depressant medication that’s the cause for PVC Bondage Girl’s weight gain. So it’s a difficult situation. I don’t want to suggest that she stop taking the medication.

    I went out with a big fat chick. Once. She said that her weight gain was a result of anti-depressant medication. I really liked her. We had a lot in common. And she was a nice woman and had a good job. But she was a great big fat chick. So I suddenly became really busy.

    Newt is PAYING for this.

    I’m reminded of another time where a 19 year old fat chick who I matched with on Tinder suggested that I should pay for her books for university. She was suggesting some sugardaddy thing.

    Really? A fat chick? FUCK OFF. I’m not paying for a fat chick.

    Newt is.

    I’m at 22 minutes, by the way. Nothing is happening. It’s just noise.

    Here’s another story that I’m reminded of. I worked in a place that was mostly immigrants from Pakistan. And they would talk in whatever their language is. All fucking day. It was awful. If it was in English, at least you’d be able to follow along. But since it was…whatever this language is, it was just like a buzzing noise. All fucking day.

    24:30 – Oh, Newt is telling PVC Bondage Girl a funny joke. He’s a real comedian.

    Newt: What do pools and women have in common?

    PVC: They’re both wet. What is it?

    Newt: They both cost a lot to maintain for the amount of time that you spend inside of them.

    Yeah. Newt. Just tell us. How much are you paying PVC Bondage Girl?

    By the way, they’re just talking about all of the sex scenes in this movie. Apparently, there are a lot of such scenes. And pornography.

    This is fucking terrible. Who is this for? Who’s being entertained by this? I have no fucking idea. This is just Newt’s extremely misguided attempts to woo PVC Bondage Girl. But he’s already fucking paying her. You don’t have to woo her. “Boy, I hope this prostitute likes me.” It’s fucking weird.

    I’m at 31 minutes now. Can I stop yet? Yeah. Fuck this shit.

    Let’s see what The Ideas Man is doing over on Twitter. Youtube analytics is my guess. Maybe some dead celebrities. And the people responding will be ladyboys.

    Oh, riveting stuff, Newt. Actually, I’m going to unsubscribe now. Newt was the one channel that I was subscribed to. But his content is fucking unwatchable now. So now you’re 201 subscribers away from 10,000.

    Newt says, “get me to 10k. Ill do full frontal”

    Why would anybody want that? And I’m suddenly reminded of the time when Newt flashed the camera in some video, which I assume is deleted now, and…this is not a man who should be flashing anything. Get to work on building the Adonis and then maybe. But some fucking fat, dumpy, 40 year old man? Fuck no.

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.wordpress.com/2022/05/30/top-gun-maverick-is-better-than-top-gun-newt-wallen/

    I talk about the flashing video there. The video is still up, surprisingly.

    “Yo @RGT_85thank you so much for posting this video and sharing your struggles with depression. I hope more and more Men can start to talk about this shit and stop invalidating people who are tired of raw dogging reality”

    And he links to a video where some guy talks about depression. Some camp fucking low-functioning redneck. He’s all melodramatic.

    Hey. Nancy boy. I’m sympathetic to people who are going through depression. What I’m not sympathetic towards are fucking creepy weirdos like you and Newt Wallen who wallow in depression because they’re trying to garner sympathy from others. Fix your fucking problems and then the depression will go away. Try getting a job. Maybe that will help.

    “Gee, I have no job. No girlfriend. This is really depressing.”

    Of course it’s depressing. So go get a job and a girlfriend. What’s so hard about this? Isn’t the solution obvious?

    No. They want to keep making peanuts on Youtube with their shitty, unwatchable videos and get pitied by ladyboys. It doesn’t make any fucking sense.

  • Geek Time TNG: Warner Bros. Attacked for Anti-Woke Agenda?! Typical. GET THE REAL DETAILS – Irate Gamer

    About three months ago, Chris BORES re-started his podcast. It was cringe as fuck. He took questions from the audience. Clearly, nothing was screened. You’d get little kids calling in with stupid shit, for example.

    The first few episodes were solo but then he scrounged up some co-host to appear via Skype. He was awful.

    The videos are so bad that they’re not even on the channel any more. You have to search for them. There’s a partial list here but it’s certainly not all of them:

    https://www.youtube.com/@ChrisNEO/streams

    Aside from the cringe, he also talks a lot about typical American right-wing talking points. I don’t get it. Who’s the audience for this thing? Children? Nerds? Members of the Proud Boys?

    So it starts with the theme song. Lyrics include, “If you’ve never kissed a girl or tasted wine”, “If you still live with your parents and you’re 38 years old”, “It’s time to get a life”, “You will never get a wife.”

    You hear Chris BORES laughing at some of these lyrics, while the song is playing. He couldn’t even turn his microphone off for this song. And how many times has he heard this song? It still tickles him?

    And this is the worst possible song. You’re insulting your audience.

    1:30 – He immediately launches into the topic. Doesn’t say, “Welcome to the podcast” or anything like this. He’s just straight in with the topic. He says that he’s “Had some communication with Warner Bros about this.”

    About what? And who at Warner Bros have you been speaking to? It’s nobody. Nobody at Warner Bros gives a shit about Chris BORES. Give me a fucking break. This is insulting my intelligence.

    4:00 – He’s said “anti-woke” about 15 times so far but…what the fuck is he talking about? What’s the story? Something about Warner Bros but that’s as much as I know. You want to explain anything, Chris?

    “Being the Irate Gamer and knowing what people against you will do, this is typical.”

    WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? GET TO IT!

    4:15 – “I’d expect no less from these type of people.”

    What type of people? Jews? This is something to do with Warner Bros. He’s comparing his problems with Warner Bros’ problems. I have no fucking idea what he’s talking about.

    Okay. He’s saying that since Warner Bros is going in this “anti-woke direction”, talent agencies are advising their actors not to work with Warner Bros.

    Chris. Listen to me. I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. What is this “anti-woke” thing that Warner Bros is doing? How does it relate to your experiences on Youtube? Is this a Jewish thing? I genuinely have no idea what he’s talking about. He refuses to explain anything. Is this all coded right wing bullshit?

    4:45 – So Chris is fine with fewer people wanting to work for Warner Bros because, “It will open the door up for people who have been trying to get in there for years, like myself.”

    What? In what way has Chris BORES been trying to work with Warner Bros? This is completely fucking delusional. Is Warner Bros going to do something with Irate Gamer or his god awful ghost hunting bullshit? It’s preposterous. And I still have no fucking idea what this “anti-woke” thing is.

    Let me look this up. I should not have to do this. And people listening to the podcast live aren’t able to pause and look shit up. Chris BORES should be fucking explaining shit.

    The new CEO of Warner Bros, (Jewish-looking name, by the way) is “un-cancelling” JK Rowling by asking her to do a new Harry Potter series. He also commissioned a film or something by Clint Eastwood. So…this is “anti-woke”. I guess.

    And this guy is Jewish, right? Let me look this up.

    Yeah. Of course. So who was he talking about when he said, “These kind of people”? The Illuminati? Nothing is explained.

    5:00 – “This all started with the Batgirl movie being dropped from their slate.”

    I don’t know what any of this is. Was Batgirl some kind of feminist or “woke” movie? I don’t know and I don’t give a shit. I’m a grown man. And Chris is older than I am.

    5:15 – “If you don’t think that articles like this are pay for play, come on, man.”

    Just tell us what you’re talking about, Chris. Enough of this coded bullshit. Who is he railing against? Communists? The Deep State? Black UN helicopters? I have no fucking idea. Give me a hint.

    5:30 – Then he says that he experienced the same thing “time and time again”. WHAT THING? WHO? WHAT’S GOING ON?

    “I revealed in the last episode that there was a — we put something in the video, I can’t remember what it was, but we put something in our video when we did the Beatles Rock Band review. I put something in there that they didn’t like.”

    WHO? FUCKING EXPLAIN THINGS. He’s talking about fucking grey little men or something.

    “And they were like, ‘You need to remove this or we’re cutting off all ties with you. You’re not getting any special privileges with our company.”

    So…Chris BORES put something controversial (so controversial that he can’t even remember what it was) into some game review and the Jews/Democratic Party/Hollywood Liberals or something threatened him with…lack of special privileges?

    God. This guy is a fucking retard. I’m sorry. Six minutes of fucking bullshit. If you want to talk about your idiotic conspiracy theory bullshit, go nuts. I don’t give a shit. But fucking tell a story. Enough of this nebulous bullshit.

    6:00 – “I’m not telling you what I saw at Microsoft and Sony and Nintendo because — same shit over there too.”

    If anyone can explain this, by all means do so. What are we supposed to be taking away from any of this? So far, I only know Chris BORES is a fucking tedious imbecile. I already knew that.

    Oh, and it’s not just me. I just noticed some of the comments. He was livestreaming this. These are comments that were left in realtime.

    • “what is this about”

    He says that Gamespot is “in the pocket” of the video game companies.

    What year is this? When was the last time that anyone went to Gamespot?

    “I’ll do a whole episode on that once things come crashing down in the next couple of weeks or so.”

    When was the apocalypse? Did I miss it? What happened?

    7:15 – “When you get up into this upper echelon in Warner Bros and things like that, you see that there are cabals. Warner Bros is notorious for housing a lot of these cabals where it’s just their friends, the same people over and over again.”

    These are clearly codewords for “Jews”. But…I don’t know what he’s saying. No clue. The CEO of Warner Bros is Jewish. Jews control Hollywood. We know this, Chris. But then why is he talking about how there’s going to be a new Renaissance at Warner Bros because this new Jewish CEO is “anti-woke”? None of this makes sense.

    Conspiracy theories have to have a logical train of thought. Chris BORES is just spouting random nonsense off the cuff. He hasn’t thought any of this out. He’s just trying to do some Rush Limbaugh impression.

    7:45 – “I’m being very cryptic here because I don’t want to get in trouble and I don’t want certain people coming after me.”

    Yeah. Jews. I get it.

    But…nobody fucking wants Irate Gamer or his ghost hunting bullshit on television. Jews and gentiles all agree on this. It’s not a conspiracy to keep Chris BORES off of national television. It’s just common sense.

    9:00 – “I know you guys are all thinking of that Irate Gamer/AVGN thing. Yeah, perfect example. Back in 2009/2010/2011. Nobody wants to say it but look what happened back then. AVGN and his crowd formed this little clique and they were like, ‘Anyone who doesn’t go along with this clique…”

    And then he just rambles. What does this have to do with Jews? As far as I’m aware, the only Jew associated with James Rolfe is Justin Silverman. And he wasn’t there in 2011.

    9:45 – “I was the only person who wasn’t going to sit there and go, ‘James, you’re the best. You’re the best. I’m going to kiss your ass.’ And look what happened to me.”

    People got wise to your boring as fuck, plagiarised bullshit. Nothing to do with a Jewish conspiracy.

    Then Chris BORES says that people at Cinemassacre sabotaged Chris BORES’ career. I don’t even want to get into this. I don’t fucking care. I don’t even know what Chris BORES is advocating. Expulsion of the Jews? Just tell us. Give us a logical explanation of things. It can be a crazy conspiracy theory but make it a COHERENT crazy conspiracy theory.

    People in the chat are just spamming now. They’re bored as fuck with this rambling nonsense.

    12:00 – Somebody gives Chris BORES five Canadian dollars and Chris BORES has NO IDEA what “CA$5.00” means. So he just stumbles over it and says, “Thank you for the paid comment.” The comment was “CURSE YOU, SHEEP!!!” by the way. He’s being sarcastic, presumably.

    18:30 – Chris BORES says that he was supposed to do a commercial for Atari. But the Jews (or somebody) screwed him out of that deal.

    Chris BORES refused these offers because these Jews (or whoever) wanted to take a cut of his profits. This was in 2012. So ever since then, his channel tanked. So…Chris blames the Jews for the downfall of his channel. Or somebody.

    21:00 – “I was the very first person shadow banned on Youtube.”

    Ummmm….yeah. Citation needed, BORES.

    By the way, the comments are full of random, racist conspiracy theory bullshit.

    22:00 – Then he talks about how PewDiePie came “out of nowhere” and was “backed by Youtube.” PewDiePie isn’t Jewish.

    22:45 – “And they’re doing the same thing to Warner Bros. You better get back on this agenda bandwagon or we’re going to ban you.”

    What exactly is Chris’ explanation for being “banned” by Youtube? He just says that he didn’t want to give a cut of his profits to anyone. So what’s the relevance to Warner Bros?

    23:00 – “If you guys are all going to pull out, hey, I’m right here, man. Talk to me. I don’t care. Because I’ve been trying to get in there for years and the problem is there’s all these cabals in place.”

    No. What? What is the project that he’s even trying to sell to Warner Bros? It’s ridiculous. The man has absolutely no charisma and his videos are terrible. Nothing to do with Jewish conspiracies.

    Is there a cabal of Jews who control Youtube and Hollwood? I don’t know. It’s plausible. But is that the reason why Warner Bros isn’t producing an Irate Gamer tv show? Fuck no. The reason is that the show would be deemed the biggest piece of shit ever aired on television.

    Somebody in the comments says:

    • “Chris are you on the mushrooms again”

    Somebody else asks, “What agency are you with, Chris?” Chris laughs and says, “I’m with the good guys.”

    Does he even know what this guy was asking? He was asking about TALENT agencies. He was making a joke of the fact that Chris BORES thinks that he should be making tv shows or whatever in Hollywood.

    But no. Chris BORES isn’t with any agency. He doesn’t even know what the term means. BORES thought that this guy was asking some comic book type of question. “Which superhero agency are you with?” No, you fucking retard. You just illustrated your complete ignorance about this industry that you say is shutting you out because it’s run by a cabal of Jews.

    Then he says, “I’m of the agency of God. So the universe and everything that made this universe. That’s a whole deep topic and hole to go down as well.”

    What? Now he’s talking about Jesus of Nazareth? TALENT agency, Chris. That’s what the guy was asking about.

    “Which I don’t really want to get into on the Irate Gamer channel…for obvious reasons.”

    Yes. Jews. We get it.

    But yeah, Chris BORES is a Jesus nut. He’s said stuff like this before.

    Ha. Yeah, and then the guy comes back with:

    • “Talent agency, I mean.”

    Fucking retard Chris BORES.

    24:30 – So now we’re in the call-in portion of the show. This is going to be great.

    24:45 – BORES is talking about a recent comment that he didn’t like, “Oh, Chris is joining that bandwagon of going really right-wing, he’s jumping on that bandwagon and trying to get famous again.” So he says, “Come on, man. This channel has been shadow-banned and whatnot. I’m not going to get shit.”

    Well, we can agree on that. But that doesn’t address the question, does it? He’s clearly doing some weird right-wing bullshit now.

    25:45 – We have our first caller.

    BORES: Okay, if you want to rake me over the coals, let’s hear it, ShadowFlare.

    ShadowFlare: Actually, I completely agree with you.

    You don’t say. Probably because Chris BORES bans anyone who disagrees with him. The entire chat is fucking lunatics.

    So the guy says that it’s surprising that Warner Bros is going “anti-woke” because they used to be really “woke”.

    Chris doesn’t know what to say to this. He can’t have a conversation and he doesn’t know anything about Warner Bros or issues of the day. And the people calling in are fucking retards, which doesn’t help.

    Somebody in the comments refers to the caller:

    • “this dude sounds like the nerd emoji”

    Oh god. I have to turn this off now. They’re having some nerd comic book discussion. Fuck off. Get back to the Jews.

    Let’s check out the comments.

    • “what the hell are you talking the fuck”
    • “Wtf did I just watch?”
    • “is the woke mob the reason you can’t break 100k on videos anymore? asking for a friend”
    • “Looks like The Irate Gamer fell off and is no longer a gamer. Disappointed that he’s changing into this cringy content”
    • “I kinda wish he’d bring back the ghost hunting shit from a few years ago and combine it with this. I want to see him yell about Woke Ghosts”
    • “So Chris, I see you are jumping on another bandwagon of cringe because you other attempts and making money have failed (AVGN clone, Minecraft toy show) -“

    Somebody also says that he should keep doing the podcast. Chris says that he’s been too busy. No time, am I right, boys?

    No time and no views and no charisma and no ability to speak like a normal human being.

    So he buried these podcasts now. They’re kind of unlisted. I can’t quite figure out what he did.