The Secret Stories of Saint Seiya (Part 1) | Tales of the Lost – Bobdunga – Ray Mona

An hour and a half. AND THIS IS JUST PART 1!

It’s fucking mental. I’m not watching this shit. A feature-length Youtube video about a “lost” anime or something? There is no way.

I’ll try to give it at least ten minutes.

0:00 – There are English, Spanish, and Portugese subtitles. I’d be really surprised if she paid for this. So who are the pathetic horntards who agreed to do all of this work for free? Translate and subtitle a 90 minute video? I’m thinking that this is 20 hours of work, easy.

But first a word from our sponsor: Raid Shadow Legends.

Really? That’s the best that you can do?

0:30 – “I’ve been playing Raid for a while now.”

Uh huh. Tell us more, Bobdunga. Or Ray Mona. Or whatever name you’re using this week. You’re a big “Raid” fan, are you?

2:00 – Oh fuck me. So after this two minute commercial, the video finally starts. It’s Bobdunga in dim light wearing a suit and fedora like she’s a detective from a 1930s film noire. FUCK THIS PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT!

Wait. Maybe it wasn’t even her. Well, it’s still pathetic because she’s talking about the great detective work that you’re going to see in this video. You know…uncovering a lost FUCKING CARTOON.

2:15 – Now there’s stock footage or video game footage or something of the interior of some pyramid. Really? She thinks that this Japanese cartoon that nobody cares about is going to be in an Egyptian tomb? I’m not a 1930s detective but I think we can safely cross ancient Egyptian tombs off of our list of places where this cartoon might be.

Every one of her fucking videos are like this. With the first one, I thought, “Well, that was weird but I guess that there was kind of some detective work involved. Maybe.”

But then the second one was the same fucking thing where Bobdunga is talking to shadowy underworld figures in the anime world. And now this one is the same.

Just present the fucking material. We don’t need these god awful X-Files rip offs. And did Scully and Mulder ever look for fucking video games and anime? I stopped watching after the first few seasons. I outgrew that shit.

You know what I’m reminded of? Those people with mental illness who think that they’re receiving coded messages from the television and whatnot. Like I read a story about a woman who taped every episode of the local news, she had several VCRs running at once to get all of the broadcasts on the different channels, because she thought that there was some hidden message in these broadcasts.

3:15 – Oh fuck. Now she has the definition of “serendipity” on screen. Can this be any more up it’s own ass? And I’m still on this fucking unending prologue.

3:30 – Now there’s a shoutout to Horace Walpoe. You guys all know Horace Walpoe, right? The 18th century English writer? Well, he was all about serendipity. I guess.

Fuck Horace Walpoe and fuck crazy Bobdunga.

God…fucking end this shit. I’m already sick of it. IT’S JUST A JAPANESE CARTOON, YOU BUFFOON. PRESENT THE FUCKING MATERIAL!

6:15 – So we’re finally done with this pretentious as fuck prologue. Now we get a two minute “intro” with music and images of…something. I don’t know. Anime shit.


You can take all of this mentally ill fluff out of the video and condense it into a 15 minute video. “Here are the people I contacted, here’s what they told me, here’s the ‘lost’ media. Turns out it wasn’t actually that lost. Hehe. Sorry about that, guys.”

We don’t need the fucking cloak and dagger bullshit. It’s idiotic.

7:45 – “Fresh off the adrenaline rush of my last discovery.”

Eugh. You mean that fucking anime that was in the Library of Congress ? Hardly lost, was it? It’s only the world’s largest library. Not exactly obscure.

8:00 – So she’s talking about other “lost” media that she wants to make a video on. She browsing the Lost Media Wiki and says that maybe she could look for another “lost” video game. Then she says that maybe she could look for “lost” television commercials and there’s a picture of an article about a Grumpy Cat Christmas commercial from 2014.

Yeah. It would be fucking awful if society never got to see the Grumpy Cat commercial from 2014 again. What a treasure that was. Go put your fedora on and get to work, Bobdunga.

Instead, she decided to look for something that was related to her last video. Because she already had the contacts with these shadowy figures who told her where to find the last piece of “lost” media.

So what happened, Bobdunga. Just tell us. Did you check The Library of Congress first? That would have been my choice.

We don’t know. And I’ll never know because I’m not going to watch this shit and she’s going to stretch this out for another 80 minutes.

9:30 – Now she’s talking about alternate timelines. Fuck this shit.

You know, I was watching 12 Monkeys the other day. I remembered liking it but watching it again, it’s not as good as I remembered. I like time travel films, much like America’s favourite autist James Rolfe, but there were just too many holes in the story.

Why was he collecting specimens like the cockroach and the spider? How would that help in solving the virus problem? How was he able to hear the voice of Bob? Who was that woman who got strangled? Why did the Bruce Willis character see the Brad Pitt character in his flashbacks? Why was the Bruce Willis character required to shoot that guy in the end? And when he failed, how is that “insurance agent” on the plane at the end of the movie?

It’s just weird shit happening with no explanation. I’m not saying that everything has to be explained in the movie. “Oh, here are the detailed schematics for how the interrogation machine works.” But everything should have some kind of plausible explanation. The woman gets strangled, you assume that it’s the woman who the Bruce Willis character was with because he was last seen about to strangle her, but no. It was a different woman. And then they just move on. What? Why are they blaming the Bruce Willis character for this?

Whatever. I have another 30 seconds of Bobdunga drivel to watch and then I’m turning this shit off.

Okay. I’m done. Fuck this shit. It’s just Bobdunga talking about how much she’s been “researching” on The Library of Congress website. Good stuff.

I’m glad that Bobdunga has become passionate about libraries. As a kid, I remember going to the school library and public libraries and searching through the card catalogue. The Dewey Decimal System and all that.

You’d look up a subject that you’re interested in, find a book title that looks promising, and then the card would tell you the number of the book. It was all coded somehow. I don’t remember. So you’d take this information and you were able to find the book this way. Riveting stuff.

Of course, libraries have been in a sharp decline since the advent of the internet. A lot of them have closed and they’re continuing to close. They’re just warming shelters for the homeless now.

A couple of years ago, I went to a local library during my lunch break from work. I was wearing a suit. I hadn’t been to a library in 15 years. I thought it would be nice to check it out. It was a nice little library. Check out the local culture.

The librarian looked at me like I was insane. What are you doing here? I looked around and there’s a bunch of homeless people on computers. So I just flipped through a random book, put it back, and left.

1:26:00 – I just skipped to the end. She didn’t find it. But she got some other stuff from The Library of Congress. Then she shows the intro to some anime called Guardians of the Cosmos. It’s has some really, really annoying music.

Oh my fucking god am I glad that I didn’t watch this. Ninety minutes and NOTHING HAPPENED. She just got a package from The Library of Congress from her previous request.

Bobdunga…we all like receiving packages in the mail. But we don’t all make 90 minute videos on this.

Let’s check out the comments.

  • “The first half hour of this video could have been comfortably condensed to five minutes…”

She hasn’t managed to delete that one yet. But it’s nice to see that it’s not just me who has a problem with this.

  • “Definitely one of the best documentaries that I EVER WATCHED in my entire life!!!”

Really? Come on.

I saw Roger and Me with my girlfriend last year. I saw it as a kid too. She was upset at the rabbit scene. But that’s a much better documentary than this fucking anime shit that didn’t go anywhere. Everything is in The Library of Congress. We get it. It’s a big library. They’ve got a lot of stuff in there.

Or what about Hoop Dreams? That was a good documentary too.

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