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WTF Wednesday Review: Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005) – Newt Wallen
0:00 – “Hello. It’s me again.”
What? Who is this guy? Where’s The Ideas Man?
Apparently, this is Marat Letoso. You all know Marat, right? He’s on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/maratletoso
Not only does he re-tweet all of Newt’s tweets but he also re-tweets all of the tweets that Newt re-tweets. So stuff about that Koni Waves comic, for example.
Marat is from Chile. He also has a Youtube channel.
https://www.youtube.com/@Maratletoso/videos
He almost never posts. In 12 years, he has 13 videos. They’re Oscar predictions. In Spanish.
He also has a blog. It was last updated in 2017. It seems to just exist to promote his 13 Youtube videos.
http://maratletoso.blogspot.com/
Okay so I’ve watched…enough of this video and he reviews the movie. He’s just not summarising. So points for that. And it was a reasonable 15 minutes. I watched half of it before I had to stop. I just don’t give a fuck about horror movies. I’m an adult. Come on. Give me some credit.
Nearly 6,000 views for this video. That’s about twice as much as his normal WTF Wednesday videos get. People must be really into Marat.
Oh, Marat was also chatting in one of Newt and PVC Bondage Guy’s recent four hour livestreams.
2:52:45 – He leaves a message about the recent history of Chile. PVC Bondage Guy reads the message and then immediately moves on.
3:27:30 – PVC Bondage Guy asks if Johanna from Hack the Movies is “trans”. Newt says, “No”. I don’t know the reference for any of this. I’m just skipping around. But I found it funny.
Newt is in his new apartment, I think. There’s a bunch of movie posters on the wall. Like all movie posters. I don’t think that Newt is getting his deposit back. Well, maybe he’s using some kind of adhesive strip as opposed to putting nails all over the walls.
3:30:00 – Newt is talking about how horny he gets. PVC Bondage Guy also chimes in about how horny he (PVC Bondage Guy) gets. Then Newt says, “I haven’t done anything since I moved here.”
Oh really. So an entire week without intercourse. Newt must really be fucking the ladies of rural Pennysylvania left, right, and centre if he considers a week without intercourse to be a long time. Or fucking the guys of rural Pennsylvania. Or ladyboys. How many ladyboys can there possibly be in rural Pennslyvania?
Anyway, good for Newt. It seems like whoever or whatever is having sex with Newt is really an open-minded sort of person. They overlook him being short, being in his 40s, working a low-paying job, being a giant pervert, and the whole plagiarism thing. Not that plagiarism really factors into dating decisions so much.
Maybe they’re attracted to his personality. Or his brilliance. He’s The Ideas Man, after all. He has more ideas than he knows what to do with. Shark Vampire. Hippo Mummy. Sexy Creature from the Black Lagoon.
One of the earliest pornographic things that I saw was on the Spice Channel. In between movies, they used to show like mud wrestling or wet t-shirt contests or alleged casting videos for porn. I don’t know where they got this footage but they’d show it. It was just filler between movies.
But I liked this filler material better than the movies. They had some interesting shit.
One of these was some kind of porn audition where three women, one after another, donned a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask and were otherwise naked. Then, one at a time, they would jump into a pool, hug some guy who was in there, and say, “And now you’re all mine.” That was the line that they had to say. The last part of it, anyway. I don’t remember the full thing.
So the first two women did their thing. Wasn’t so interesting. Normal bodies.
The third woman comes out there, big tits, and she smacks the guy in the head with them as she delivers her line. Really enthusiastic.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Newt Wallen. Tits and gore. Maybe he can find that video for me. Or recreate it with PVC Bondage Guy.
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Looking Back At Batman. Is It Still Good? – Tony from Hack the Movies
Tony is hacking some movies and he’s with Horseface and the world’s greatest actor…Frank? Is that his name? Whatever his name, he’s a real dreamboat.
They’re outside for some reason. In front of a Batmobile. And they’re talking about the 1989 Batman movie. Another rare time when I’ve seen the movie that he’s talking about. This tends to happen when he dares to review a non-horror movie.
Frank is dressed as Robin. A sexy Robin. Although, any character that Frank plays is going to be sexy.
And Horseface is…I’m not sure yet.
Oh. She’s not wearing a costume. I thought maybe she was supposed to be Comet or something.
Who was that eight-legged horse? Odin’s horse? Yeah. Sleipnir. Why did I know that?
1:45 – Tony says that if they miss something in this video, don’t worry, it will be covered in the commentary tracks. You can get the commentary tracks on Patreon, presumably. So if this 1 hour and 45 minute “review” isn’t enough for you, don’t panic. You can get even more on Tony’s Patreon.
Who the fuck wants more? I want LESS. Give me a fucking 10 minute review. Twenty minutes at the absolute maximum. Nearly two hours? FUCK NO.
2:00 – Then there’s footage of Tony doing the commentary track with Kevin from Pegwarmers.
What happened to Pegwarmers? Since Screenwave abandoned podcasts, he’s been doing the show from his basement. It’s unwatchable. I don’t understand why he can’t get a table in there and have “guests” like he did before. And the audio is bad, if memory serves. Whatever.
4:45 – Tony says, “Directed by Tim Burton” and Horseface says “Woo!”
Really? She’s going to talk about how hot Tim Burton is? What does he even look like?
Jesus Christ. Horseface will literally talk about how hot ANYBODY is. It’s the only thing she can say. She can’t contibute anything else to any topic other than, “Woo! That’s person’s hot!”
Fuck off.
5:30 – Horseface is talking about how hot Jack Nicholson is.
6:45 – Now she’s talking about how hot Danny Elfman is.
I mean, she’s not expressly saying that these people are hot. But it’s implied. That’s the only thing that she can talk about.
7:30 – Now they’re talking about a horseback riding scene. Come on, Horseface. Talk about how hot the horse is. You can do it.
8:00 – Horseface is talking about how “hot and sexy” Kim Basinger is. Expressly.
9:15 – Tony is talking about a movie about prostitutes and Horseface gets excited and says that she wants to see it. She wants to see the hot prostitutes. Good contribution, Horseface.
You know what? I think I’m done.
Comments.
- “Where’s Nute? you’d think Nute would be in this one.”
Tony replies, “We kicked him off the show when we found out he stole other people’s work and treated us like shit. He admitted to all of this in one of his kitchen videos.”
I wonder what Newt could have possibly said to cause this kind of reaction.
- “I just wanna say, if you’re a grown woman who’s over 5’4″ and you weigh less than 130 pounds, you probably aren’t healthy. If you weigh 108 pounds, you’re most likely at death’s door.”
Was Horseface talking about her weight in this? Eugh. Pathetic.
- “I’m glad we finally got to see Crystal’s legs! Wish she was wearing shorts though.”
- “Love the episode reminds me of my film school days. Tony feels like a guy I would be best friends with. Also, I have a major crush on Crystal.”
These type of comments completely baffle me. Are they seeing the same Horseface that I’m seeing? That woman with the face of a horse and the jiggly arms? No thanks.
- “Frank as Robin is… making me have feelings rn”
Now this I can get behind. What a hunk! And such a great actor.
What has he been in lately?
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3531665/
He was Patron #1 in the 2023 short film D’wize Guys. Oh, I’ve got to see that. I bet that he gives a tremendous performance.
He seems to do a lot of short films in the Philadelphia area. I guess that they’re student films or something.
No. You’re wasting your talents on this shit. You have to go to Hollywood. This is how you get seen. Get yourself an agent and start going to auditions. A sexy guy like Frank will have no trouble getting work.
I’m subscribed to this Fresh Out guy.
https://www.youtube.com/@FreshOutSeries
He told a story about going to an audition to be an underwear model. And his agent told him that if he wants the part, he’s going to have to take his underwear off during the audition.
So he gets to the audition and there are these three or however many fucking gay men doing the audition. And they tell him to come out. So he does so. Then they awkwardly wait for him to take his underwear off. Because apparently this is what most of the other people who came to this audition did. But this guy didn’t do it. So they thanked him for coming. He didn’t get the underwear modeling gig.
Imagine sexy boy Frank over there in Hollywood. Going to all of the casting couches. Hot! Am I right, Horseface? Hot stuff.
- “Damm Crystal’s thighs lookin thicc”
Never mind her thighs. Look at those thicc upper arms! Whoa! Did my pants just get tighter? This is my fetish. Jiggly upper arm fat.
So that’s another Hack the Movies review in the bag. I don’t want to toot my own horn but I think that I do a pretty good job on them. I really cover all of the important material that’s discussed in the videos. Now I’m going to go jack off to that very sexy Danny Elfman.
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Bullshit Bozo the Clown *Nostalgia* from Mike Matei
9:15 – “Oh my god. I want a Bozo version of this. Dude, one of the outfits is Bozo, one of the outfits is Cooky, and then the last outfit you get, if you get all of the bottles, you get Wizzo. That’s what we need for NES hacks. You want to do NES hack sprite swaps? Give us a fucking Bozo — Bob Bell Bozo.”
Okay. If there’s one thing I know, it’s Bozo the Clown. When I was in pre-school or kindergarten, we made decorative plates. My decorative plate depicted Bozo, Cooky, and I believe Frazier Thomas.
I was on the show. I went to a taping. I was like seven years old. I don’t remember much about it.
I watched the show religiously. Every day before school. Then when it moved to Sundays, I watched it every Sunday. The show was cancelled when I was in my early 20s and I was still watching it. I was devastated when they cancelled it. I still get pissed off when I think about how those sleazy executives treated the show. First they reduced the time of the show from like two hours to one hour. Then they moved it to Sundays, which was obviously going to be the death of the program. But it was back to like three hours on Sundays. But then they cut it down to like an hour again. And then the inevitable cancellation happened.
They had a beloved show and they knew that they couldn’t just cancel it so they slowly eroded it to the point where people just stopped giving a shit.
About ten years ago, I saw that the widow of Roy Brown (the man who played Cooky) was selling some art that Roy Brown made. Garfield Goose paintings. They were on Ebay for like $150. I was so close to getting one but I don’t even know who fucking Garfield Goose is. It’s before my time. It’s a puppet character from The Bozo Show or Ray Rayner or something but from the 1970s, possibly up to the early 1980s. Anyway, I regret not getting a painting.
I’ve searched for episodes of the show many times. They’re just gone. The studio re-used the tapes so you have to rely on people who taped the show at home. Apparently, there’s a tape trading community but I’m not that big of a Bozo nerd to get involved in that.
Who was the man who played Bozo during my entire memory of the show? It wasn’t fucking Bob Bell. Bob Bell is before my time. It was Joey D’Auria. Bob Bell died in 1984, which is when Joey D’Auria took over.
And yet somehow, fucking Mike Matei, who’s two years younger than me, who was born in 1980, is all about Bob Bell.
FUCK YOU! You lying fucking piece of shit.
Why does he do this? Erin does the same fucking thing. They pretend to be *nostalgic* for things that they can’t possibly have remembered. Erin is particularly fond of feigning *nostalgia* for stuff that happened even before she was born.
There is no possible way that Mike remembers Bob Bell. If I don’t remember it, how can he? I was HUGE into Bozo. And that plate that I made depicting Frazier Thomas is, I believe, from the Bob Bell era. Because I don’t think, I might be wrong, but I don’t believe that Frazier Thomas was on the show during the Joey D’Auria era. Nevertheless, I have absolutely no memory of Bob Bell. None. Zero. And I’m two years older than Mike.
Hey guys! Remember The A-Team cartoon? Remember the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon?
No, Mike. I don’t. It’s before my time. Would you care to explain how you can remember this stuff but I don’t? You had a great memory as a three year old?
And now fucking Bob Bell. Fuck you.
Just the other day, I was looking for recent stuff on Joey D’Auria. He was on Let’s Make a Deal a few years ago.
Wayne Brady was born in 1972 so it’s likely that he remembers the Bob Bell era. Mike Matei, born in 1980? No. Fuck you.
I also had the Bozo Buckets game as a kid. The buckets would snap onto a strip of plastic so you go the right distance between them. That was great.
And I remember all of the various characters over the years. It started with Bozo (Joey D’Auria, of course), Cooky, Wizzo and the Bozo Band. The Bozo Band was a brass band. A bunch of old men.
Then they got rid of The Bozo Band and replaced them with Professor Andy Mitran and his electronic something. He had a bunch of those dancing flowers on it. It was just a keyboard/synthesizer thing. But it was an obvious cost-cutting measure. One of many that the show would be subjected to.
Oh, and there was Pat Hurley. He was like a replacement for Frazier Thomas. I don’t think he was a ringmaster but he was just a guy who would help out. There’s a video of CM Punk on the show and Pat Hurley is in it. Let me see if I can find it.
Unfortunately, that’s an edited version and it’s part of a news broadcast. The full clip used to be on Youtube.
And then after Roy Brown had his heart attack they brought in Spiffy. Spiffy was only there for a short time. A couple of years maybe.
And then I think shortly before they moved to Sunday, or possibly after they moved to Sunday, they brought in Rusty and also two lady clowns Tunia and Pepper. Pepper didn’t last long and Tunia lasted only a little while longer. They just kept getting rid of the fucking clowns to save money.
But I do remember an odd exchange between Bozo and…either Pepper or Tunia, I don’t remember. But somehow the topic of mud wrestling came up. One of these women made a comment about mud wrestling. And then Bozo got horny and asked her to talk more about mud wrestling.
By the end of the show’s run, it was just Rusty and Bozo. Wizzo had dropped off at some point before the Sunday Show. He was Marshall Brodien. That’s why one of the prizes during Bozo Buckets was a Marshall Brodien magic kit. It was just promotion of his stuff.
Bob Bell? No. No memories of Bob Bell.
I have a hazy memory of him dying and Joey D’Auria starting. But I don’t remember him as Bozo. And if somebody asks me about Bozo, I’m going to tell them about Joey D’Auria. That’s the only Bozo I remember.
But not Mike Matei, born in 1980. He’s all about Bob Bell. That’s his era. That’s his Bozo. Go fuck yourself.
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Erin is Visting her Parents For the Thousandth Time
Erin seems to visit her parents literally about twice a month. She lives in New Jersey with the love of her life (and sugardaddy) Mike Matei and her parents live in fabulous Los Angeles, California. She’s there twice a fucking month.
It’s not a good sign. If she was happy with where she was, if she was happy with Mike, if she was happy with her life, she would not be going back every two fucking weeks. And she’s an adult. Why is she visiting her parents so much? If they lived down the street, fine, but they live 3,000 miles away.
Every two weeks with this shit. And we’re going to get some awful pictures of Erin in Disneyland too. This is an adult?
So she’s on the plane for her twice-monthly trip to visit her mommy and daddy and some guy is eating hard boiled eggs. Actually, it could be a woman, I guess. She always seems careful to say “they” instead of using more specific pronouns.
Anyway, 35 year old Miss Plays doesn’t appreciate having to smell this individual’s eggy flatulence. Well then fucking do something with your life. Stop this bullshit, scamming relationship and this bullshit, scamming job.
The reason I think this might possibly be a woman is because from my experience on trains, it’s always a woman who’s eating. Always. Well, let’s say 90% of the time. There was even a blog called Women Eating on the Train or something which showcased pictures of women eating on the London Underground. It was shut down for “sexism” but it was true. It’s virtually always women who were eating on that fucking train. And it’s digusting. If you don’t want to be featured on that blog, don’t eat on the fucking train. It’s not difficult.
A crowded fucking train, people are packed in like sardines, and this dumb bitch is going to start eating a kebab or whatever. Even an apple would be too much given the crowded conditions. Wait until you’re off the fucking train and THEN eat. You can’t wait? You have to stuff your face on a dangerously crowded train?
You’d see women putting their makeup on. That fucking nauseating smell and they’re putting sharp pencils right near their eyes and whatnot. One bump and they’re blind. There was no time to do this at home? You have to do your makeup in the train?
I’ve never seen a guy shaving on the train or cutting his nails or anything like this. Why not? Why is it always women? Women don’t have time to do their morning routine at home, like normal people? Why can men manage it? I know that there’s probably more than an average woman does in the morning than a man but then manage your time better. Wake up ten minutes earlier than usual. Or just eliminate this makeup routine. Nobody gives a shit what you look like anyway. Get over yourself.
I remember Retro Ali making a video or something where she talked about living in South Korea. She went there for some program for college, I think. She was there for a few months or something. And some people were giving her looks for eating while walking. She thought that this was a peculiar Korean cultural thing where they look down on people who are eating. But she was indignant. “I don’t have time to eat. I have to walk and eat.”
No. This is not unique to Korea, North or South, and you have time to eat. Nobody wants to see this.
I’ve eaten while walking. I can recall one time at least. I got a sandwich at lunch and there was no place to sit in the restaurant so I had to walk and eat. There wasn’t a place to sit at my place of employment either.
There was another time when, again at lunch, while at a job, I got a sandwich and same deal. No place to sit. So I brought my sandwich to a bench and sat down. A few minutes later, a homeless guy sat next to me and lit up a tiny cigarette that he obviously found on the ground. I don’t think that I ever ate a sandwich faster in my life.
So ThatBaldyBloke responds to Erin, “Very shell-fish behaviour”. You know…because eggs are a fish now.
Erin says that they were the de-shelled variety. Is this a product that people can buy? Hard boiled eggs? I’ve never seen this.
I haven’t eaten an egg since I was a kid. Not on its own. Obviously, I’ve had cakes and meatloaf and shit that had eggs in them.
But an egg? Hard boiled, sunny side up, poached, scrambled, fuck no. They’re disgusting. Just a runny mess on your plate. Why would I want this?
So that’s Erin Plays once again visiting her parents in sunny California. And a fellow passenger, probably a person with a job, was eating eggs on the flight. Riveting stuff, Erin. Keep entertaining us with your fascinating life.
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Data Entry Mania
I’m trying to remember what autobiographical posts were lost when the last blog got shut down. There was the one about me living in Wembley with Indian guys. I’ve since re-done that one. And there there was one where I talked about doing data entry in a property management company. I think that I also talked about meeting that woman with the terrible teeth in that one.
So is that it? Oh, what about all of the teaching assistant jobs that I did? Yeah, I think I lost that one too, assuming I even wrote about it. It was about how they were looking for a gay man to do those jobs.
I’ll write about the property managment job then because I was still doing the teaching assistant shit after the property management.
When I was looking for work, at least in London, at least 15 years ago, it was completely dominated by employment agencies. These are parasitic middlemen who have absolutely no benefit to you, the worker, but employers like them because the agency acts as a buffer between you and the employer. So they don’t have to give you whatever benefits an actual employee would get and they can fire you at any time, for any reason. These agencies also take a cut of your wages. So the company might be paying the agency £15/hour but the agency is only paying you £7/hour. They’re just pocketing that money for doing NOTHING. You’re going to work every day, and they’re taking half of your money every day for doing nothing.
So I did everything I could to try to get a job directly with a company. It was always a better experience as well. With the agencies, they wouldn’t get back to you, they would just waste your time with pointless “interviews” for jobs that don’t exist, whatever. But whenever I managed to contact the actual company, I was always immediately invited for an interview and it usually went well.
Such was the case with this property management company. It was for a data entry job. They had date that needed entering. Supplier details and whatnot. The name and phone numbers of plumbers and electricians and the like.
So I had an interview. I don’t remember it but it must have gone well. And I got the job.
It was a Jewish couple who owned the business. Of course. Where there’s property and parasitic jobs, you’ll find the Chosen People.
Everybody was pleased with my work. I know how to type so that seemed to be a plus. I don’t know if people in the UK are really taught to type. They must be now, but I don’t know if people of my peer group were taught to type.
But when I went to school, I took loads of typing classes. I had one day a week computer classes in grade school but that was just to play Number Munchers and Oregon Trail and shit like that. We didn’t actually learn to type.
In high school, I took typing classes, though. I learned on an actual typewriter for my first typing class. It was electric but it was a typewriter. Not a computer. Computers were rare and expensive in those days. Other typing classes I had used computers but that first one was old school. It was just a typewriter for that whole semester.
I took the classes because they were easy as fuck and I didn’t see the sense in taking difficult classes when we all get the same diploma no matter what classes we take. I was right. So I took all of these fucking “business” classes, which were just re-branded “remedial” classes. Business English. Business math. Shit like this. And a lot of typing/computer classes.
It turned out to be a great idea because it’s something that I actually put into practice and was able to get work from it. All of these other classes were a total waste of time. Nobody has ever asked me about U-boats or solving for “x” or how many loaves of bread Jesus was able to come up with. But the typing classes were a money maker.
So I was doing this job. Everybody loved me. There was a giant-breasted Sri Lankan woman who would come on to me but, of course, I didn’t do anything so she eventually lost interest.
I told the story about how I quit in the previous article but it’s not really interesting so I’ll just give a brief run down.
I would finish the work really quickly. Because I can type quickly and when I’m at work, I’m there to work. I don’t mess around.
So the guy who was giving me the work, my manager, in a sense, would get slightly flustered when I would finish because there really wasn’t any more work to do. He would eventually come up with something but it was just busy work.
As a result, there was a lot of downtime while I was waiting for this guy to find something else for me to do. So I’d use the internet during this downtime.
My internet started getting disconnected. Then I would do something to get it working again. This went on for a few days. Then I started getting messages when I would get disconnected about wasting company time.
I suspect that it was the owner of this place who was doing this. He was kind of an asshole to me. His wife was always friendly to me and I don’t think that he liked that either.
So after I started getting these messages, I just got up and told this wife co-owner that I was quitting. She was shocked and asked why. I explained the situation with the internet. She said that she’d get the internet turned back on and just to go home and think about it. She asked somebody at HR if I can really just quit like this, to which they said that I could. She was really trying to get me not to quit because I was a fantastic worker and maybe she had a little thing for me. But I was done. “Wasting company time.” Fuck you. I was doing the work of three people there. And it was for like £8.50/hour.
So I quit the job and she paid me for that full month even though I quit during the first week of the month. I worked there for about three months.
Years later, I read that there they got into some legal trouble. Some financial impropriety. Of course.
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UK Food Tour + This UK Toy Store Gave me TOYS ‘R’ US Vibes – John Riggs
So fatass John Riggs is going to eat some food.
I was on the train today. There was an elderly American couple. They had giant backpacks on. How can this possibly be a good idea? But they were annoying. They were here for the coronation. Americans think that British people care about this. No. It’s just the elderly and cartoonishly conservative types. Everybody else either doesn’t care or doesn’t want that shit.
Anyway, this couple were complaining about the phrase “mind the gap”. It is stupid. They play this announcement regularly when people are getting on or off the train. They don’t want you to fall into the gap between the train and the platform. It’s a stupid turn of phrase but just get over it. People speak differently in different countries.
0:00 – Some guy is demonstrating that he can roll his windows down from the outside of his car by remote control. John Riggs says, “And I can just Dukes of Hazard it right through the window there.”
Did they even get Dukes of Hazard in the UK? They may have done. I don’t know. Years ago, some guy was talking to me about Charles in Charge. I could not believe that Charles in Charge was shown in the UK. It was a syndicated program.
Well, I guess Baywatch was syndicated too and that was shown all over the world. Maybe it’s actually an advantage to be syndicated. I also know that Small Wonder, another syndicated show, was HUGE in India. I’m not even joking.
0:15 – Then John Riggs says that if he tried it, it would result in a “Trip to the hospital” and then he corrects himself, “Trip to hospital.” They don’t say “the hospital” in the UK. I don’t know why. But just get over it. Don’t be some stereotypical, fat, loud, jackass American. These people know about the differences in language. You don’t have to point them out.
Then the guy says, “We’re in the UK so it wouldn’t cost much.” I’m pretty sure that John Riggs would have to pay because he’s just here as a tourist but I don’t know what it would be.
“Deep Blue is where we are. It’s a chippie. A ‘chippie’, right?”
Eugh. So anyway, John Riggs orders some disgusting food. I’ve never eaten at one of these establishments. I don’t know anybody who has. I don’t even think that I’ve seen any.
Actually, now that I think about it, I suppose that I have gone. But I never get the fish. I get whatever. A battered sausage. Or a battered hamburger. It’s a sausage or hamburger that’s coated in batter and then deep fried. And the food is bad. REALLY bad. So I rarely go.
1:30 – Oh, John Riggs got the same thing. He ordered TWO meals again. Because he’s a big fucking fat guy. He got a fish and a sausage. Both comes with fries. These are meals. Two meals. Because he’s ENORMOUS.
Then there’s extended footage of John Riggs shoveling food in his mouth. Close ups of this.
There’s a woman who keeps talking to John Riggs. We never see her. Is it his wife? Who knows? But I remember from other videos that his wife doesn’t seem to want to appear on camera.
3:15 – Now he’s at Greggs’. This is fucking shit.
He’s amazed by the refrigerated sandwiches. They’re all awful. I’ve never had a refrigerated sandwich that wasn’t awful.
So then John Riggs orders a sausage roll, some steak pie, a pasty (another meat pie), and a cake. He’s a big fat guy.
4:30 – Then he goes to Smyth’s toy store. Didn’t this place go out of business years ago? I guess not. 108 stores in the UK.
7:45 – Now he’s in London. He’s shows some tourist shit for like a second each.
8:00 – He’s at some expensive tourist restaurant for “cream tea”. Fuck off.
Why is he going to all of these stereotypical places? This is not where people go to for food. They’re not going to fucking “cream tea”. I don’t even know what that is. And Greggs? That’s for fucking completely impoverished people. And the average age of a customer in a fish and chips establishment is 70.
So then we see close up footage of John Riggs shoving tiny scones in his mouth. You know…as you do when you live in the UK. I’m forever eating scones while getting my cream tea. I also wear a top hat and monocle everywhere I go. I like to try to fit in.
9:30 – John Riggs is showing two Prets that are right near each other. This is true. Especially in London. There’s an overabundance of Prets. It’s a sandwich shop. Just a shop full of these god awful refrigerated sandwiches. They’re everywhere. The sandwiches are shit and they’re like £7, which is ridiculously expensive for what it is.
10:00 – He’s in a Chinese restraurant now.
More extended footage of John Riggs shoveling food into his mouth. Does anybody want to see this?
11:30 – Now he’s an an American candy import shop. These are everywhere. It’s a fairly recent thing. Within the past 10 or 15 years. They’re all owned by people from the Middle East. Every single one of them. Possibly Pakistani. Not a single one is owned by an American or even a British person. Middle Eastern or possibly Pakistani. All of them. And it’s the home of the £5 packet of M&Ms that sell for 50 cents in the US.
He does mention the outrageous prices. £10 for a bag of Cheetos, for example.
So that’s the video. Nothing interesting.
What did I eat today? I got a hot chocolate and a terrible refrigerated sandwich at some little shop in a train station. It was a chicken tika masala sandwich. That’s another thing. These sandwiches always have weird fillings.
That was in the morning. Then for lunch I went to a little cafe and got another hot chocolate and another bad sandwich. But this wasn’t refrigerated, at least. Not to my knowledge, anyway. It was a roast beef and horseradish sandwich. The horseraddish was served in a separate little cup. You have to smear it on yourself. That’s fine, I guess. Depends on your taste. But again, the only sandwich options were pretty weird. I went with one of the more normal ones. And it was shit. I couldn’t even finish it.
It also came with about 20 normal potato chips (or “crisps” if you prefer) and a “salad” that consisted of a few pieces of lettuce and one of those tiny tomatoes cut in half. No dressing or anything.
And everyone in the cafe was 100 years old.
This is what people are eating in the UK. Well, actually this was an unusually hot chocolate and sandwich-based day for me. But I’ve eaten this sort of fare many, many times. This is what you get at these mom and pop cafes. There’s a small selection of god awful, weird sandwiches and hot beverages. That’s it. If you want anything else, fuck off.
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Dude Vs Bud Light – Newt Wallen
Newt has been promoting this video because it got 100,000 views. So let’s check it out. It must be really good, right?
(Newt drinks from a can of Bud Light)
PVC Bondage Guy: What do you think?
Newt: I mean, I don’t feel any gayer. Not any gayer than usual. I think I’m going to try to get my money back.
PVC Bondage Guy: You already drank out of it, though.
Newt: Well, then I’m going to take it outside and destroy it.
PVC Bondage Guy: But you paid for it already.
Newt: Fucking Bud Light.
That’s the video. I’ve transcribed the entire video.
Am I missing something? Is this a reference to something? Because as far as I can tell, there’s no absolutely no joke here.
I’m doing some DuckDuckGo’ing. Apparently, there was a recent controversy over the makers of Bud Light paying a transgender “influencer” to promote the product. People didn’t seem to care much for this.
So…Newt’s video still doesn’t make sense. I don’t get any of this. Bud Light was always considered a beer for homosexuals. And Newt didn’t even make any kind of joke. He just said that he wants his money back because it didn’t make him any gayer. Then he said that he’s going to destroy the beer. It doesn’t make sense. Why would he destroy it? What does that even mean? How do you destroy a liquid? What is he planning to do?
I don’t know why people are even upset about this transgender brand deal. It’s some man in a dress promoting Bud Light on Instagram or whatever. Who cares?
This stuff goes on all the time. I remember a few years ago, I was taking a trip in Northern Europe and Burger King was promoting homosexuality with some fucking rainbow campaign. You could get a rainbow paper crown and there were rainbow billboards and shit. Maybe if you showed proof that you were getting fucked in the ass by another man, they’d give you a free order fries if you purchase a Whopper.
Nobody was outraged over that. Well, I was but nobody else. Not from what I could tell, anyway.
Oh, maybe I’m wrong.
People in Austria were rioting over a “pride Whopper”.
That was in 2022. I saw this ad campaign way before that. It was probably 2018. Something like that. Burger King is obviously doing this all over Europe at least. An article I saw said that they had a similar promotion in San Francisco.
It’s not really the promotion of poo pushing that I object to. Although, I guess that that’s an element. I was really disgusted to see high school aged girls in that Burger King wearing the rainbow crown.
But it’s the fact that the people running this multinational corporation don’t give the slightest of fucks about homosexuals. They’re just doing this in an attempt to sell more fucking hamburgers. “Hey! Burger King cares about your right to fuck other men in the ass! So give us money!”
Why am I getting lessons about homosexuality from a multinational corporation? Why is Burger King supposed to be interested in this? Is Burger King gay? What’s the sexual orientation of McDonalds? It doesn’t make any fucking sense.
What does it mean that Burger King supports gay rights? WHO at Burger King? The CEO? The high school kid working the fry machine at my local Burger King? Was a poll conducted among every employee at Burger King, including employees at every franchise, and a majority supported gay rights? I don’t think so. So who was it? Who at Burger King supports gay rights?
Obviously some people working at Burger King do. But this was just an ad campaign to sell the fucking burgers. And it makes no sense. Burger King does not have an opinion one way or the other on homosexuality. Burger King does not have an opinion on anything. The only thing that the multinational corporation known as Burger King cares about is selling burgers. That’s the same for every corporation. Corporations can not have opinions on anything. They’re not people.
So back to The Ideas Man. The comments in this video are all people getting worked up over this man in a dress promoting Bud Light. I guess. And some leave comments about PVC Bondage Guy.
- “Man shoulder alert!! man shoulder alert!!”
PVC Bondage Guy replies, “Thank you! I’ve always liked my ‘man shoulders’”
What bizarre comments all around. But PVC Bondage Guy says that he’s a man so…likes having masculine shoulders? What the fuck does a masculine shoulder even look like? Apparently both PVC Bondage Guy and the guy who wrote the comment know but I have no idea.
A lot of the comments are calling PVC Bondage Guy a man. They’re doing it to be insulting but s/he does, apparently, consider him/herself to be a man. It’s preposterous, she’s just a woman with a lot of makeup and wearing weird clothes. How does that make her a man? Men don’t typically wear a lot of makeup and PVC bondage outfits.
- “I’m not sure I get the joke, why can’t u destroy it even if u paid for it?”
You and me both, James McCoy. It made NO FUCKING SENSE. That whole stupid little video doesn’t make sense. There’s no joke to be found anywhere in there. I was waiting for a punchline. There isn’t one.
Anyway, people only clicked this video because of the controversy and because the thumbnail has PVC Bondage Guy looking like a complete freak. This isn’t indicative of quality. The video, as I hope I’ve made clear, doesn’t even make sense. It’s certainly not funny. It’s not anything.
But Newt promotes this. Newt thinks that this video is good. Newt thinks that the video got so many views because it was so clever and witty. No. Doesn’t even make fucking sense. There no semblence of a joke anywhere in this thing.
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Ultimate Nintendo Switch OLED Unboxing Zelda Tears of the Kingdom – Destiny Fomo
0:00 – “Hi. My name is Destiny Fomo and I have a problem.”
Yeah. You’ve been getting pimped out by TuanX for years. I don’t know what to tell you, Madam Fomo. At what point does it become your problem? Because he’s not chaining her up, is he? I know that pimps use coercion and threats of physical violence and actual violence against the women they’re pimping out but women leave their pimps all the time. Just move. There are 10,000 horntards out there who would let her stay with them. There are charities who deal with helping women escape their pimps. I mean, come on. Enough of this bullshit.
And she had the world’s worst fucking escort reviews. And her OnlyFans is likewise awful. It’s a scam. Pictures of her in the bathtub wearing a one piece swimsuit. Fuck off.
Then the video starts with a link to the aforementioned AWFUL OnlyFans. Don’t fucking bother. You’ll see more skin in an old JC Penney catalogue.
5:45 – She says she’s going to go back to Japan in the near future. She’s bleeding “Kid” Shoryuken completely dry (or Mad Panic Gaming as he likes to be called now). How much money can that old, fat, perverted loser possibly be making as a TEFL “teacher”?
6:00 – Oh, I should mention that Madam Fomo is wearing a little crop top and booty shorts. Must be hot under those lights again. In the past, she actually used the excuse that she dresses like a prostitute in these videos because the lights make her hot. No, Rose. You dress like a prostitute because you’re a prostitute. We’ve seen the reviews and the ads. Or at least I have.
This is boring the shit out of me so I’m reading comments. I found this one:
- “how do people afford massive collections like this”
Madam Fomo replies, “it takes years and years lol”
Well, how does that help anyone? Tell us what your job is, Madam Fomo. It sounds like a lucrative job. And it can’t be too hard of an industry to break into because you managed to do it and you’re a total moron. So maybe the horntards would like to get into this business too. Tell us what it is. How did you amass all of this money? Video editing? Comic book writing? What’s your made up bullshit job now?
She’s a prostitute. How could anybody possibly not see this?
Let’s check out her Twitter. I haven’t done this in…fuck I don’t know. A year?
Oh, she advertised for a three hour of stream where she went “game hunting” in Japan with “Kid” Shoryuken. Yeah, that’s what we want to see.
How about a three minute video of this fat fuck plowing Madam Fomo’s ass?
Then she says that she’s going back to Japan in two weeks. She was just there. How can “Kid” Shoryuken possibly afford this?
There are prostitutes who travel. It’s not uncommon. And you can pay them to come “visit” you but you have to pay the airfare, you have to pay the taxi costs, you have to pay their hotel costs, and on top of that, it’s something like $1,000/day. Mininum.
“Kid” Shoryuken works as a TEFL “teacher”. They make like $1,500/month.
Where is this money coming from? How can he afford any of this on his meagre salary? And we know that he also sees local prostitutes regularly.
Madam Fomo had ads where she promoted her prostitution services. And in these ads, they had pictures of her, scantily clad, like in the picture above. But her face wasn’t showing.
However, the pictures all had one of her fake names or her phone number written on them in a stylised fashion exactly as we see in the picture above. It’s something that she has on all of her pictures. It was clearly her in these ads. And she would give her prices. And she got UNIVERSALLY negative reviews.
This raises the question of why “Kid” Shoryuken continues to pay for this. He must be her only repeat client ever. He’s the only one of her customers who wasn’t grossly dissatisfied with her service. Maybe his standards are lower. Maybe he’s so old and obese that he can no longer get an erection so he’s just happy spending time with her looking at video games. Still, he’s paying for that. Madam Fomo isn’t doing this for free. She’s not going to hang out with this giant fucking creep, in Japan, for free. He’s paying full price for this. At least $1000/day plus all of her expenses. And probably TuanX’s expenses too.
She can’t wait to “hug” her “friends” again. We’re not all fucking retards, Madam Fomo. We know what exactly what this is.
This guy replies:
He says that he wants to go “game hunting” with her. There’s a picture of him with, presumably, his daughter. You’re a total fucking creep. We know what “game hunting” is a euphamism for. Go spend time with your family instead of whoring around.
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What is the BEST Evil Dead Movie? – Tony from Hack The Movies
- “Crystal’s fine, but we all prefer Mint Salad”
- “How can anyone hate Crystal? when her devilish smile lights up her face when she says things like “I like evil Ash”, how can you not just feel happy!”
- “Um damn can Crystal be any cuter”
- “man crystal comin off a coke binge but shes still fine af.”
- “I love Crystal”
- “I love crystal and Monica! Crystal has beautiful eyes, but I also loved her nerdy look in the glasses. Congrats on the LASIK.”
- “Crystal should absolutely cosplay as Evil Dead Rise mom. She’s a dead ringer for Alyssa Sutherland.”
These people are on another planet.
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Point and Drink Adventure Podcast Episode 10 – What are our Favorite things? – Cannot Be Tamed
Ten fabulous episodes of Point and Drink Adventure. I think that this is the last one because this was uploaded three weeks ago and they were trying to upload every…week? Every two weeks at the most, I would think. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe Pam and Pele are going to come back stronger than ever with episode 11. Get those 1,000 views, ladies.
It’s fucking awful. Pam has negative charisma and Pele…I don’t even know. She’s not boring as fuck like Pam, but who is? Pam is a personality black hole. But I’ve never heard Pele say anything interesting.
The format does not help. The idea is to talk about alcholic beverages and video games. Basically, they’ve ripped off the Cinemassacre Podcast (What’cha Drinking, What’chat Playing) but it’s even MORE boring if you can believe that.
Pele works in the alcohol industry, in some capacity, so we’re supposed to give a shit about her opinions on alcohol. No. I don’t care. I don’t care about ANYONE’S opinion on alcohol, no matter how learned their opinion may be. I rarely drink. I’m not some fucking alcoholic like Pam over here. And even if I did drink, why would I care about how “hoppy” or “malty” some beverage is? All of that stuff tastes the same to me. Like shit. Please excuse my non-drunken loser palette.
And then they talk about video games and it’s obvious that Pele does not play video games. So…this is just really terrible. Do something else with your time, ladies. This is just an excuse for a couple of lesbians to get together, at least virtually, and get drunk.
In this particular episode, they’re together in person. And they’re just talking about whatever! Their favourite things! It’s like with the Cinemassacre Podcast when they quickly gave up on the “What’cha Drinking, What’cha Playing” format and just said, “Fuck it. Let’s talk about anything.” The podcast was cancelled a few episodes later. All good tv shows take a break.
0:00 – Pele introduces herself as “Michelle”. Don’t be confused. Her real name is Pele. Or something. It’s like how Chinese people adopt Western names when they move to a Western country. And only Chinese people do this. Nobody from the rest of Asia does this.
I knew a Chinese woman and she said that her professor, or somthing, gave her a Western name. He just went around the room and gave everyone in the class a Western name. So…that’s the name that she used. Just this random name that a professor gave everyone in the class. That’s the name that I knew her by. I don’t know her real name. It’s totally bizarre.
But Pele is from the Phillipines. Well, maybe she’s a Chinese woman from the Phillipines. Although, she doesn’t look Chinese. And I don’t even know if she was born in the Phillipines or her parents were or what. Anyway, she’s Pele. I think it’s something like Petee, actually.
So they’re in Pele’s apartment. Pele says that she’s been drinking with Pam for the past three days. I’m not even joking. Pele lives in…Maryland, I want to say. And Pam is looking chunky. Time to cut back on the drinking and start watching what you eat, Pam. You’re over 40. Your metabolism isn’t what it used to be. And the horntards aren’t going to watch some fat chick.
Then they describe what they’re doing as “day drinking”. Terrible promotion of alcoholism.
0:30 – Pele says that they went to a Broadway show. What? Where did I get Maryland from? Why would I have thought Maryland? She must have said it at some point. How far is Maryland from New York?
Three and a half hours. That’s within reason, I guess. It would be a journey but I guess that it could be done in one day. Go there, see the sites and sounds of fabulous New York City, and then drive back the same day.
Pele is in a studio apartment, isn’t she? She’s sitting on a sofa and the kitchen is behind her. Doesn’t this suggest a studio apartment? That job at the alcohol factory must not be paying too much.
5:00 – Pele says, “I’m so happy to share this wine with somebody.”
How about a husband, Pele? Enough of this embarassing bullshit where you’re trying to pick up chicks from the internet who live hundreds of miles away, in another country.
6:00 – Pam starts talking about LA Confidential. I saw it when it came out. I don’t remember anything about it. But I also wrote a review of it for a college course. I got an “A” because I have natural talent for the written word. I’m a real wordsmith. It’s a pretty lame assignment for a college class, though.
8:45 – Pele starts talking about Last of the Mohicans. Hey, ladies, have you seen any movies in the past 20 years?
9:15 – Pele isn’t sure if she should say “indiginous people” or “native” so she turns to Woke Pam for guidance. Fucking hilarious. Just call them “red men” and move on.
Anyway, this woman’s favourite movie is about a white man pretending to be an American Indian. The white savior movie. That’s what she likes. Turn in your SJW card, Pele.
“Historically, it’s very accurate.”
Oh, do tell. There was a white man who pretended to be an Indian and saved the tribe with his white man power? Let me look this up.
The movie was (loosely) based on an 1826 romance novel.
At the time of Cooper’s writing, many U.S. settlers believed and perpetuated the myth that Native Americans were disappearing, believing they would ultimately be assimilated or killed off entirely due to the genocidal structure of settler colonialism. Especially in the East, as Native Peoples’ land was stolen and settled on in the name of U.S. expansion and Jeffersonian agrarianism, the narrative that many Native Peoples were “vanishing” was prevalent in both novels like Cooper’s and local newspapers. This allowed settlers to view themselves as the original people of the land and reinforced their belief in European ethnic and racial superiority through, among other rationalisations, the tenets of scientific racism. In this way, Cooper was interested in the American progress narrative when more colonists were increasing pressure on Native Americans, which they, and Cooper, would then view as “natural”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_of_the_Mohicans
Right there on Wikipedia, ladies. This deeply racist movie was based on a deeply racist book.
But Daniel Day Lewis was so hot, so that’s why Pele likes it. Despite the fact that Pele is obviously a lesbian. Some lesbians like to pretend that they’re interested in men, the same way that some straight women (like Horseface) like to pretend that they’re interested in women.
11:30 – Pam is talking about Moulin Rouge. This is the play that they saw. How cultured. Watching a play based on a movie. I’m waiting for the Broadway version of Thunderpants.
14:00 – Pele is talking about Blade Runner. These are some peculiar choices from Pele. They’re not particularly feminine and they’re not particular woke. They’re also not particularly highbrow. Well, maybe she’s not feminine, woke, or highbrow. Maybe she’s just pretending that she is to try to get something going with Pam. No. You don’t need to do that, Pele. Just be yourself. Pam is fucking her dog. She doesn’t have high standards. She’ll go out with you. She’s already “going out” with you. Come on. You can drop the charade.
17:15 – Pam is talking about The Handmaiden. It’s an Asian movie. Pam likes to talk about Asian movies with Pele. It’s fucking racist. She does this to try to appeal to Pele.
No. Ladies. Listen. You’re both already clearly having sex with each other. You can stop the lies. Just be yourselves. Be your boring, lesbian selves.
19:15 – Pele is talking about Ru Paul’s Dragrace. Both Pam and Pele love stuff where men dress as women. They love emasculating men.
Pam says that there’s a Filipino version of this show. STOP THE CASUAL RACISM, PAM. Just because Pele is Filipina, that doesn’t mean that it’s her entire identity. Indeed, Pele NEVER talks about enjoying Asian movies or tv shows. But Pam has to fucking fetishise Pele. Everything has to be about how “exotic” Pele is. No, she’s a normal person, same as you, Pam. You’re just a couple of boring as fuck lesbians. Pele is a boring as fuck lesbian who happens to be Asian. Can you get over that and start treating her as an equal?
These fucking fake SJW bitches.
Then they start talking about video games for like an hour. No thanks, ladies. I’ve got stuff to do.
Oh, SupaPixelGirl aka SupaNintedoGirl aka Supa…there were a lot. But she’s Pixel Weaver now. She leaves a comment.
- “Omg Pam we need to talk about Ru Paul drags race!! I’ve watched all the seasons and I’m a huge fan”
Yay! We love emasculating men! Isn’t that “woke” of us?
No. It’s deeply misandric and something that you should perhaps speak to a psychiatrist about. Speaking of which, how’s the job searching going, Dr OnlyFans? In case you’re unaware, SupaCrazyBitch apparently graduated with a degree in psychology and then she moved to Boston or somewhere to look for a job and then that was the last I heard of this job search. This was years ago. I don’t think she found a job. How could she? Who would possibly go to this insane woman for therapy?
Anyway, it seems that she’s making video again. It seems to have coincided with the time that the blog got shut down. As soon as she sees this, I think that she’s going to stop making videos and possibly shut the channel down again. She’s DEEPLY mentally ill.
https://www.youtube.com/@pixelweaver/videos
