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  • Looking for PAL Exclusives at OLL ’23 in Norwich UK – John Riggs

    Oh, John Riggs is in England now. Trolling for booty. Do the kids still say that? Is that even the expression? Is it “trawling for booty?” Maybe in John Riggs’ case it’s trawling. He’s trawling the deep sea for 300 pound, purple-haired fish with no standards.

    Oh, according to the description, it’s the first time that old John Riggs has been abroad. That’s nice then. He decided to go to Norwich. The jewel of England. The description continues, “Here’s what I saw, what I ate and what I grabbed as I was looking for those PAL exclusives.”. We all need to know what John Riggs is eating. And I suspect that he’s going to be eating A LOT in this video. The man can’t stop eating. Just look at him if you need any proof. He’s going to be so disappointed with the portion sizes in these restaurants.

    Wow. John Riggs is also on Cameo. WHO THE FUCK WOULD PAY $15 FOR A JOHN RIGGS CAMEO?

    But let’s just focus on the trip. This is John Riggs going to Norwich for some bizarre reason. He must know somebody there. Presumably a woman with purple hair. Why else would somebody go to Norwich? Why would he choose Norwich as his first trip abroad?

    0:30 – He says that he’s drinking Pepsi for breakfast. He sure enjoys sugary beverages. And yeah. Pepsi. That’s what you want when you’re on vacation in the UK. You want to try the British take on Pepsi.

    He says that it tastes better. It very well may do. I don’t think that it’s the exact same recipe. Are they still using high fructose corn syrup in the US? Because they don’t do that Frankestein shit anywhere else. They use sugar in the rest of the world.

    Also, British Snickers taste much better than the American Snickers. I’m thinking for the same reason. High fructose corn syrup. But it’s a noticeably different taste.

    But anyway, why wouldn’t you try a local beverage? Why fucking Pepsi?

    Oh, I should have mentioned that John Riggs is at a nerd convention. That’s what this video is going to be about. And food. Mostly food, I’m guessing.

    3:15 – Eugh. Here’s a collab nobody wanted. John Riggs and TheGebs24. She’s fucking awful. She probably made her own video of this nerd convention where she just complained about the prices. Then she went back to her tiny hovel and had sex with her 400 pound American wife.

    And behind her, there’s a blue haired woman. Not quite purple.

    3:45 – And then fucking horrendous Slopes Game Room. “‘Ello, guv’nor!”. No. I’m turning it off. I don’t think that I ever got past the intro to any of his videos.

    There’s a 300 pound woman behind him.

    4:15 – A guy in his late 40s, I’d guess, with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tattoo. He’s completely indecipherable.

    5:15 – Now some food. What the fuck? It’s a tiny sausage on a tiny piece of bread. John Riggs must be livid. “It’s their version of a sausage roll” and then he says that he got it from a South African food vendor outside.

    Sausage rolls are a common thing in the UK. I don’t think that the food particularly exists in the US. It’s a fucking pureed sausage type paste incased in bread. Not this. Not what John Riggs was showing.

    9:00 – Now he’s shilling some other scam. John Riggs LOVES shilling for scams. He’s completely shameless. He was shilling for a company that sells shares in fucking old Air Jordans. It’s disgusting. And people call him out for this shit and he just says, “Well, it’s up to you to do your research.” How about not shilling for obvious scams, you fat fucking piece of shit?

    14:30 – Now John Riggs is looking for food. Just at some food trucks outside. He’s back at that South African truck.

    He didn’t even show us what he fucking ate. Presumably everything.

    20:00 – He’s at some…I guess the cafeteria at this nerd convention.

    20:45 – Ha. There are three tiny meat pies on his plate. It’s fucking hilarious. There are also maybe 20 fries and half a cup of peas.

    Oh. He also ordered fish and chips. So he ordered two meals. Now it’s starting to make sense. One meal would not be sufficient for this mastodon. Not with these portions.

    21:45 – It’s the next day. He shows a sausage roll that TheGebs24 got for him. So…I assume that he’s staying with this woman. And her 400 pound wife. Weird but John Riggs is married too. Maybe these are all open relationships. And you’d have to be REALLY open to do anything with John Riggs.

    But anyway, yeah, this is what a sausage roll looks like. She presumably got this from Greggs, which is a…food chain of some description. Their main product is sausage rolls. They also sell…I don’t know…bread and dougnuts and shit. Actually, I think that they discontinued the bread a few years ago. But yeah, these sausage rolls taste of nothing. It’s a weird paste of meat encased in bread. But they’re popular for whatever inexpliable reason. Because they’re cheap, I guess.

    25:30 – Some fucking gay man is drinking a 7-Up. I’ve never seen a 7-Up in the UK. I don’t really browse the soda section of the grocery store but still. It’s interesting. Maybe he got it from an import store for like £5 in order to impress John Riggs.

    27:00 – John Riggs is amazed by a black currant Capri Sun. I’ve never seen a Capri Sun in the UK either but, again, I’m not going to the children’s beverage section of the grocery store. But yeah, black currant is a common flavour in the UK. And it sucks penis.

    28:15 – John Riggs is eating a Dumle chocolate that was given to him by some Swedish guy. John Riggs asks if it’s the most popular chocolate in Sweden. The Swedish guy says, “One of the most popular.”

    Dumle is made by Fazer, which is a Finnish company. I don’t expect John Riggs to know this but how the fuck did that Swedish guy apparently not know this? Why is he giving Finnish chocolate at his booth? There must be Swedish chocolate.

    So that’s the video. Surprisingly sparse on the food. Also, not seen in this video: John Riggs’ long-suffering wife and children.

    Good that he travelled…I guess. Even though it was to Norwich. For a nerd convention. And he was just there looking for ass.

  • Bloodsport is The Fakest True Story Ever Told! – Tony from Hack the Movies

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmyEwade3b8

    Tony isn’t allowing you to embed his videos any more. That’s weird. What’s the possible reason for this? Doesn’t it still count as a view if you watch it somewhere else? Maybe it’s me who did something wrong.

    Well, just click the link if you want to watch this snoozefest. I don’t think that anybody watches the videos on the blog anyway.

    So Bloodsport. I’ve seen it many times. One of the few movies that Tony “reviews” that I’ve seen. He seems to FINALLY be doing stuff other than horror movies.

    Tony’s with some douchebag with a porkpie hat. Fucking Popeye Doyle over here. You’re not a hipster, sir. You’re just bald. Get over it.

    I never even considered going down the hat route when I was losing my hair. Or comb overs. Or that scam cream shit. Or hair plugs. Or any of that shit.

    Just one day, I noticed how bad my hair was getting so I went to the bathroom, got some clippers out, and the job was done. I started with a 4 guard, then about a month later went down to a 2 guard, and then a month after that I just started shaving it. That’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

    You always get people saying, “Oh, you need to grow facial hair” or “Oh, you need the right-shaped head.” No. Fuck you, you fucking faggots obsessing over a man’s appearance. It makes no difference. If you have the “wrong” shaped head, you’re going to have the “wrong” shaped head with or without hair. And beards are for homos. So do whatever you want.

    Anyway, back to Buster Keaton and Fatty Arbuckle over here.

    I’m ten minutes into this now. They’re just summarising the movie scene by scene. As usual.

    Let me look up this guy is as I let the video play in the background.

    This guy isn’t even on Twitter. He’s only on INSTAGRAM. What? Does he have sexy pictures of himself on there? Oh. No, it’s his fucking…he gives his job as “Makeup FX, Sculpture & Monster Maker”. In rural Pennysylvania. He has whatever stuff he’s made on there.

    No Twitter, though. It’s madness. Personally, I never got into social media. I never had a Facebook account or Twitter or anything. What for? It’s never been an issue. I don’t want to talk to people I knew in high school or anything.

    16:30 – They’re talking about some rope scene where the Jean Claude Van Damme character was able to do the splits. And they talk about how preposterous this rope contraption is.

    I took taekwondo and to a lesser extent karate for many years as a kid. This shit went on.

    I went to one “dojo” that had a rope fed through a hole in the wall and then it came out another hole in the wall. This was all at ground level. There was a noose on one end of the rope. So what you would do is sit on the floor, put the noose around your ankle, and then pull the other side of the rope. By doing so, your legs would be pulled further and further towards the wall. The idea was to improve your flexibility over time and eventually be able to do the splits.

    It was obviously dangerous as fuck.

    So this “sensei” is showing me how this works along with a couple of Mexican guys who were also students. The “sensei” was demonstrating this on himself. Then one of the Mexican guys said, “I think I saw this in a porno once” and the “sensei” got upset, I think because this was a grown man and making a joke like that around me. I was probably like 14 or so.

    But it’s true. It is the sort of contraption that you might see in a porn movie.

    That “dojo” only operated for like a month. Me and these two Mexican men were the only students. We never actually had a class, it was all just in the planning stages. Then one day there was a note on the door from the “sensei” saying that he broke his hand and he’d be re-opening the “dojo” when he recovers. It never re-opened. All good “dojos” take a break.

    But yeah, that Mexican guy was pretty creepy. He pointed out some white girl walking by the “dojo” and told me that he thought she was cute. He said, “Probably a cheerleader, eh holmes?” Yeah, sure thing, Cheech. Can we just focus on the martial arts?

    Back to this video, Tony talked about how some character in the movie was “gatekeeping” the martial arts by saying that he would only teach karate or whatever this martial art is to Japanese guys. And Tony talks about this like it’s something crazy.

    No. That’s the whole fucking deal. Westerners were only taught martial arts after…I don’t know…World War II? And even then, for a long time, it was protected. If you weren’t Japanese, you weren’t learning judo. If you weren’t Korean, you weren’t learning taekwondo. Shit like this. Even among other Asian people, they weren’t going for it. Koreans couldn’t learn judo, for example. They took this seriously.

    Then you look at the spread of martial arts throughout the world, it’s just a handful of people who brought it outside of Asia. And this was since WWII so we have pictures of these people and they’re contemporary. It’s not something that goes back thousands of years outside of Asia. This is a recent phenomena.

    And when I was a student, I had an old Korean “sensei” at one of these “dojos” that I went to. He refused to teach. He didn’t do shit. And it showed. The students were all awful. He just chilled in his little office all day.

    But it’s not that he didn’t know taekwondo. He knew it. When he would demonstrate something, it was clear that he was really good. But he just didn’t want to teach us because we weren’t Korean.

    There was a Korean boy there, though. And this “sensei” did teach the Korean boy. The rest of us were just left to our devices. Fortunately, I already knew taekwondo before I came to this “dojo” so I kicked this shit out of everyone.

    Anyway, back to the video. Eugh.

    26:30 – Tony’s mother enters the “set”. We don’t see her but Tony talks about her.

    32:45 – They’re talking about the monkey-style guy in the movie. Porkpie asks if it’s just racism or if there’s an actual monkey style martial art.

    Yeah. Fucking monkey style kung fu. Or any of the other styles of kung fu. Crane style. Tiger style. Let me look this up.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_styles_in_Chinese_martial_arts

    Yeah. Right there.

    These people don’t know shit about martial arts. How could you not know about monkey style kung fu? It’s in the zeitgeist. Didn’t Dale from King of the Hill know monkey style kung fu?

    36:30 – Extended discussion about Jean Claude Van Damme’s buttocks. They’re starting to get excited.

    I made it to 48 minutes. I think I’m good.

    Didn’t even get sleepy this time. I think the key is talking about a movie that I’m at least semi-interested in. So not this fucking horror bullshit for 12 year old boys. Not that Bloodsport isn’t also for 12 year old boys.

    But yeah, Bloodsport was great. This is how martial arts were in the 1980s and 1990s. It was full of mysticism and made up bullshit. “Kumite” was an actual word that was used. In the karate McDojo that I went to at least. It’s a Japanese word. I guess. Maybe. But it’s definitely not used in taekwondo. Taekwondo is Korean, of course.

    People believed in like pressure point death moves. And the power of yelling (kiai). And that you literally had to register your hands with the police when you became a black belt. Shit like this. And not just me, as a kid. ADULTS believed this. I saw it. I heard it. The fucking “senseis” believed this shit.

    The idea was that if you’re good at taekwondo or karate or whatever you can go out and kick everybody’s ass. But I never heard of ANYBODY from any of the “dojos” I went to EVER getting into an actual fight. If they did, they’d probably get fucking destroyed.

    Although, maybe people weren’t getting into fights because other people knew that they knew some martial arts. The mere idea that you knew taekwondo or whatever was enough to put people off from wanting to fight you.

    It certainly worked for me. I remember in the ninth grade somebody threw a slice of a tomato at some kid, the kid dodged, and the tomato hit me. I was pissed off. So I told that guy that I’m a taekwondo master and he better write a fucking two page apology to me by tomorrow or I’m going to fucking unload on him.

    So he actually wrote the two page apology. I was like 80 pounds. I would have died if I fought this guy. But he wrote the apology and he specifically mentioned in the apology that he’s only doing this under duress because he got confirmation from somebody else that I do in fact know taekwondo.

    I have a number of examples like this. I didn’t put up with any shit. And I had absolutely nothing to back it up other than taekwondo experience, which was TOTALLY USELESS. So the captain of the football team is suddenly giving me the business, hey fuck you, you fucking cretin. You better watch who you’re messing with. I’ve kicked the shit out of every kid in my taekwondo class. And it worked. People back down.

    Even today. You get those charity people or whatever who jump in front of you and try to get your credit card details. When they don’t get the very obvious hint that I’m not interested, I tell them to fuck off. I put a middle finger in their face. Whatever. They never retaliate. Sometimes they get close. So I gesticulate in the well-understood, “Hey, you want to bring it. Let’s go” sort of fashion. They never bring it.

    One of the things that these “senseis” use to promote kids joining their “dojo” is that martial arts help with your self-esteem. It’s true. So in that sense, martial arts are a good thing. You don’t have to actually put it into practice. Indeed, that’s the lowest form of martial arts. The highest form of martial arts is when you’re so confident of your abilities, people realise it and don’t want to engage. Of course, higher still would be people who don’t want to fight you because they like you.

    Chapter 73 of Wen-Tzu sets this all out.

    Lao-tzu said:
    When you go on the Way, it makes other people unable to wound you no matter how boldly they stab, unable to hit you no matter how skillfully they strike.

    Indeed, to be immune to stabbing and striking is still an embarrassment; it is not as good as causing people not to dare to stab you no matter how bold they are, not to dare to strike you no matter how clever they are.

    Now not daring does not mean there is no such intention, so it is even better to cause people not to have the intent.

    Those who have no such intention do not have a mind that loves to help or harm. That is not as good as causing all the men and women in the world to joyfully wish to love and help you. If you can do that, then you are a sovereign even if you have no land, you are a chief even if you have no office; everyone will wish for your security and welfare.

    Therefore courage in daring kills, courage in not daring enlivens

  • Job Advice for Kieran

    Kieran quit his job at Screenwave a few weeks ago. He talked about it during one of his streams. The stream is somewhere. I don’t know where. I saw it, though. He had a number of gripes but let’s just say that he quit because of dissatisfaction.

    He says that he was living pay check to pay check. While fucking Ryan was living in a mansion and wanting to get giant breast implants.

    I seem to remember the homosexuals on Reddit saying that Kieran made $40,000 and they suggested that it was a low wage. Is it, though? I don’t know.

    About twenty years ago, I was making $8.50/hour. How much would that be per year? $17,500. My rent was $500/month. So yeah, that would be about 1/3 of my income was going to rent. That’s the general guide. You shouldn’t spend more than 1/3 of your income on rent. And I was doing that. It was fine.

    I remember people at the time, co-workers of mine, asking how I managed to afford my own place. They had roommates. Well…you’re making $1500/month, rent is $500, that leaves you $1000/month for utilities, car insurance, gas, food, whatever. It’s enough.

    Kieran was possibly making more than twice that. Why was he living pay check to pay check?

    I know that my example is from 20 years ago and prices have gone up but can it really have gone up that much?

    Anyway, I just have my standard advice: get citizenship in Ireland and move. Why not? Everybody always talks about how Irish Kieran is. I think that all you need is one grandparent who was an Irish citizen and you can get Irish citizenship. Does Kieran not have this?

    You don’t have to pay any lawyer or company to do this. You just gather the required information (proof that your grandparent was a citizen, your birth certificate, shit like this), fill out the form, send the $2000 or whatever it’s going to be, and then you get the citizenship. It’s not a problem. And it’s all in English.

    Then you can move. Go to Dublin. I did it myself. You can read about my fabulous four weeks in Dublin right here on the blog.

    Then you can get a job doing whatever. It doesn’t matter. Anything is fine. Anything is an improvement over living in rural Pennsylvania doing some shit job. Wouldn’t it be much more impressive to do a shit job in Dublin?

    You can also immediately claim benefits. Or at least I did. Maybe the rules have changed.

    Kieran would also have an advantage with the ladies if he moved. I’m not saying that he’d be swamped by interested women but if you’re an American in America, that’s worth nothing. But an American in Ireland is worth something. It’s a slight advantage over your previous position in the US.

    Or he’d be able to go to Spain with Irish citizenship. He says that he speaks Spanish. He can get some low-paying job at a TEFL school. Or maybe even a legitimate school if he’s fluent in Spanish.

    Or you can go anywhere. Germany, Italy, Sweden, France, Poland. Anywhere in the European Union. If you don’t speak the language, it doesn’t matter. You can just go there and collect welfare until you learn. Check the laws before you go. Some countries are more generous than others.

    Think of the possibilities. And it’s not some crazy bullshit idea like thinking that you’re going to make money with tits and gore movies or the world’s dullest movie reviews. This can all be done with reasonable ease. I moved with $2000. I know people who moved to the UK with $200. This happens all the time.

    What is Kieran hanging on to in rural Pennsylvania? Family? Friends? Why let them hold you back from all the fun and adventure in Spain? Fucking the big-titted ladies.

    And if it doesn’t work out, you can go back to rural Pennsylvania. But at least you’d have a story to tell of the one time in your life when you actually tried to do something.

    The alternative, if we’re focusing on staying in rural Pennsylavania, is that Kieran goes back to his porn store job or Walmart or whatever. So it seems obvious that he would try the Ireland thing.

    People just don’t seem to do it. I can think of two people who I knew from school who lived abroad. One did some veterinarian course in Ireland, met an Irish guy, and I think she still lives in Ireland. And the other did some medical degree in one of those shady Caribbean medical schools and she’s a doctor somewhere in the US.

    But most everyone else I know from school, they just stayed in the ghetto and hoped to win the lottery or something. I don’t get it. Why were they content with that life?

    I suppose when you have children you can’t really uproot your family and move abroad with no job. You’re just committed to stay where you are for the next 20 years. And after 20 years, you’re looking at your seniority in your job and thinking about retirement and the opportunity to do anything interesting is long gone.

    But Kieran is still a swinging bachelor and a reasonably young man. So by this time next year, I expect Kieran to be in Ireland. Or whatever. Holland.

  • Newt Wallen’s Penis

    Nobody wants this, Newt. Well, maybe Joe from Gamesack and whoever those other “Youtubers” were who asked to see Newt’s penis presumably want this. But I don’t. I’m a heterosexual man.

    And then in the comments, he says, “I think he undersold but maybe 1 day ill post reference photo if people ask nice”.

    No. You’re not listening, Newt. We don’t want this.

    He must have also sent this picture to the guy who made the drawing. It’s completely insane.

    Newt seems to be taking a break from his channel. I remember him saying something about this. He’s didn’t want to keep shitting out videos for the sake of it and/or he was working on his mental health. Good for him. Continue with that work. Doing this weird, gay bullshit isn’t going to help with your mental health.

    What else do I want to say about Newt’s penis? I think that’s it. I think that I’ve said all that I want to say about Newt’s penis. So how am I going to pad this article out? Something life-affirming. And non-gay.

    Oh, I thought of something. And it’s penis-related so it works.

    In like the 4th to 7th grade, I was on the track team. I’m not saying that I was good by any means but, unlike in other sports, I wasn’t embarassingly bad. I mean, it’s just running. I can run.

    It was track and field, actually. I wasn’t so good at the field stuff. It’s like discuss, shot put, long jump, high jump…I think that was it. You had to do one field event and one track event, at least. I did long jump. I wasn’t very good but, again, I did a respectable job. I never got a ribbon, only the top 8 finishers would get ribbons, and there would be like 50 kids doing this shit, but whatever. There’s more to life than ribbons. And at least I beat the fat kids.

    Track was better. The 200 meter race seemed to be my distance. Because I didn’t run particularly fast, so wasn’t good for the short distance sprints. And I couldn’t run for long distances without quickly tiring so 400m and up were out. So 200m was it. The perfect distance for somebody who isn’t particularly good at running any distance.

    I never won but I might have got third place once in a while. Out of 8, I guess. Eight man races.

    Anyway, we had to train a lot. I don’t remember exactly how often. Maybe twice a week, after school. We’d do some exercises in the school gym and then run out to the high school track, which was like…I don’t know…two miles away and then we’d practice at the track. We were in grade school but the high school let us use their track. Probably rented it out to schools who were interested.

    But back at the school gym, we would do stretching exercises. Leg stretches. “Butterflies” were a common one. If you’re unaware, this is where you sit with your legs outstreched and you pull your feet to your crotch as close as possible and then bounce your legs, like a butterly flapping its wings. It sounds pretty gay when I describe it.

    Our coaches were a husband and wife. I think that the team was co-ed but I don’t actually remember any girls. No, it couldn’t have been co-ed because of what comes next in this story.

    The wife was telling us to do 50 “butterflies” or whatever. So we’re sitting there bouncing our legs. But she’s not happy with this. She thinks that we should do more stretching. She says, “I’m worried about your groins.”

    What the fuck? Worry about your own “groin”, madam. Not the “groins” of a bunch of 12 year olds.

    I just found the comment really awkward and weird. So much so that I still remember it 30 years later.

    There was another time when we went to a field trip to the Big City. This was probably in the 7th grade. I can’t remember where the trip was but there was a speaker talking about advertising. The evils of advertising. Something like this. And he showed a picture of Joe Camel and said that the face looks like a penis and testicles.

    This might have been an appropriate comment in a university lecture. Or maybe even high school. Maybe. But not to a bunch of seventh graders in a Catholic grade school.

    I remember our teacher smiling politely but uncomfortably at his comment and everybody else being uncomfortable too. And then the guy swifly moved on.

    After the trip, I was talking to a classmate and we agreed that this guy was a total pervert for making this observation. “Only somebody with a sick mind would see that in Joe Camel.”

    Actually, I guess that the resemblance is there, if you have a small, mishapen penis and large balls but at the time, I was convinced that this guy was just warped in the head and destined for eternal damnation.

    In any event, it’s a weird thing to say to a bunch of 12 year olds.

    And then there was the guy who would shove his penis into the face of some boy at school. The guy who did it was the biggest bully in our class and he was kind of friends with the other guy, who was a bully, but I guess that sometimes they didn’t get along.

    So for a few weeks, this guy would run up to the other guy, pull his pants down, and shove his tiny penis into this other guy’s face. He’d get right up in there. Like one inch away. Maybe closer. Then he would say stuff like, “See? He likes it.”

    And I remember the guy who was having this done to him just looking so disgusted by this. And when this kid would shove his penis into this other kid’s face, the kid who was receiving it would always turn his head and look away.

    This was happening probably in the 6th grade. Maybe 5th. It was the first year that we would get changed in the lockerrooms, I think. There were four lockerrooms and each lockerroom had an “attendant” or something, whose job was to report any misbehaviour to the gym teacher. It was just a student who was appointed by the teacher.

    So this attendant was watching this whole penis thing. It was like the second or third week that this was going on. We had gym class once a week. And everybody was disgusted by this guy’s behaviour. Nobody was into it.

    So the attendant finally told this guy to stop. But he couldn’t be too forceful about it because this guy was a bully and prone to violence. But just through the general disgust that everybody had when this guy was doing that shit, I guess that this bully finally gave up this game of showing another boy his penis. And yet somehow suggesting that it’s the other boy who’s gay. Not him. Not the guy who’s trying to get a blowjob from another boy.

    That kid must have been getting sexually abused to be exhibiting behaviour like this. It would explain the bullying behaviour too. And the low grades. He went to a different school by the 7th grade. Thank fuck. He was an asshole.

    It’s kind of the same behaviour that Newt exhibits. Forcing people to look at his penis. And then saying, “Oh, I’m not gay. You’re the one who’s gay because you looked at it.”

  • 4 BAD GAMES from Probe Entertainment – Erin Plays

    Erin has worn this before.

    Oh, here it is:

    Halloween Stream from Hell (Operation board game and Dr. Mario) – Erin Plays

    The search option on this site is great. I wonder what other shit I can add to the sidebar.

    So she’s wearing this zero-effort nurse costume. AGAIN. It’s a reference to some Blink 182 album but not a favourable one. The woman on the Blink 182 cover had breasts.

    So Probe Entertainment. Erin is all about Probe Entertainment. She knows all of the games from Probe Entertainment. And she’s going to tell you all about them in this four minute video.

    The outfit is a reference to rectal probing for like a prostate check. Erin snaps her glove. That’s sexy, right? Getting a prostate exam from Erin? I don’t know. I guess that somebody thinks that this is sexy. Erin apparently thinks that this is sexy. She thinks that people are jerking off to this. They’re jerking off to a nearly 40 year old woman, with no job, no personality, never done anything in her life, and she’s average-looking at best. Is this a fetish for anyone?

    0:15 – Wikipedia dot com.

    “So let’s look at four random games that probably infilitrated our lives at some point.”

    Well…not your life, Erin. Why continue the charade?

    Then she starts talking about Alien 3 for the NES. I’ve never played it, Erin. Have you? Tell us about it.

    1:00 – She talks about Alien 3 for a few seconds and then just immediately moves into Pagemaster. No transition. The video doesn’t even take a one second pause between games. She’s just immediately into Pagemaster.

    You guys all know Pagemaster, right? No. I’ve never heard of this. I’ve certainly never played any of the games. But fortunately, Erin is here to tell us all about it and share her personal experiences of playing the game as a child.

    She says that she saw the movie as a child, which is astonishing. She actually did something? She also went to birthday parties that had Pagemaster wrapping paper. What a bizarre, pointless, and uninteresting story that is.

    2:00 – Daffy Duck in Hollywood. You guys all know this one, right?

    No. I’ve never played it, Erin. Never even heard of it. Lucky for us, Erin will give a fantastic, in-depth review of the game.

    2:45 – Batman Forever. I never played this either. But surely Erin will bring the goods.

    Then that’s the video. This was total dogshit. And I’m pretty sure that Mike played all of these games within the past five years or so and her complaints all seemed to be complaints that I remember Mike making. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence. Mike should have got “help” credit for this video.

    And she only appeared in this zero effort nurse constume for like 10 seconds. Eight seconds at the beginning of the video and two seconds towards the end.

    This was awful. How could she possibly think that this video was worth releasing? All of her videos for the past two years at least have been this level of absolute dog shit. She’s totally given up on making videos. It’s just these zero-effort videos now. Her fake carpal tunnel syndrome doesn’t allow her to put any effort into the videos any more.

    A lot of horny comments. I won’t even dignify them by copying and pasting them.

    She was so proud of this video, or at least the thumbnail, that she posted this on Twitter. How? How could she possibly think that this is good? It’s an obviously unflattering comparison.

    The problem is that you get these horny men who inundate women with compliments. You see this everywhere. Internet dating, social media, whatever. No matter what the woman looks like there will be guys out there talking about how hot she is. And the reason that these guys do this is because they’re trying to get something going with these women. And they’re desperate. And they’re saying this to EVERY woman.

    But women don’t seem to realise this. So they internalise this. “Oh, this guy thinks that I’m hot. I must be hot.” And then you get shit like a 35 year old woman who’s average-looking at best, thinking that she’s a hot chick and everybody wants to have sex with her. No. These are just desperate, horny men who are saying this to EVERYONE.

    It creates delusion. That’s why you get fucking Johanna out there taking pictures of herself in lingerie and posting them on the internet. “Well, Horseface says that I’m hot. Kris Glavin says that I’m hot. I must be hot.”

    No. You’re not hot. You’re confusing a genuine compliment with horny losers who are saying this shit to everybody.

    I don’t know what the answer is. It’s a broken system. The internet is to blame. Before the internet, compliments were rare and only dished out when deserved so women had a somewhat accurate idea of where they fell in the hot chick department. Only hot chicks got compliments on their appearance. And even then, somewhat rarely.

    Now, some fucking 300 pound woman with the body of a truck driver can put some pictures on the internet and be absolutely swamped with compliments about how hot she is.

    It’s easy to give compliments on the internet. Anybody can do it. You don’t risk embarassment by the woman being creeped out or not into you. There’s nothing for men to lose. So they’ll say this to EVERYBODY and then maybe one woman in 10,000 will end up having sex with them as a result of this compliment. But the other 9,999 all think that they’re hot now too. So these women’s standards all go up.

    It’s a whole problem and it needs to be addressed perhaps at a government level but I don’t have a solution. We can’t have a society where Erin or Johanna or Horseface think that they’re hot chicks. It’s ruining society.

    Erin is a 4. Horseface is a 3. Johanna is a 2. But they all think that they’re 9s or 10s. It’s not a sustainable system. Because these women all now think that they deserve a man who’s a 9 or a 10. No. It’s not how it works. It’s not reality.

  • How much do you SPEND on VIDEO GAMES? – Gaming on a Budget Tips and Life Hacks – Ircha Gaming

    I think that Ircha Gaming is the only person who I cover who I’d give some loving to. Well, maybe PVC Bondage Guy too. I don’t often talk about Ircha Gaming’s videos though because…I don’t know. They’re not really interesting. And not in a good way.

    0:00 – “How much do you spend on video games?”

    What year is this? I basically stopped buying video games when I got the internet in 1998. You can get every fucking game for free.

    I remember being blown away that you could play SNES games on your computer. And they were all free. Costs nothing. And fucking MAME dot dk had everything. Every game for every console. The older ones, anyway. Certainly 16 bit and earlier. And they had virtually all of the arcade games. It was crazy. My mind was totally blown.

    I went from having, whatever, 100 games (my PC and console game collection that I had amassed over the years) to fucking every game. Tens of thousands of them. Even on dialup, I was able to download these games.

    Why would you possibly need any more games after that? If you have the entire library Atari 2600, NES, Sega Master System, SNES, Genesis, and Turbo Grafx, and arcade, what more could you possibly need? It will take ten lifetimes to get through all of those games.

    Of course, I still bought games after getting the internet but nowhere near the level that I previously did. I certainly stopped getting consoles. My last console was the GameCube and I only got like four games for that. There’s no need to get a console any more. There hasn’t been since at least 1998.

    I basically only got multiplayer games after 1998. So I got Half-Life, for example, because I wanted to play Team Fortress Classic. And I played Team Fortress Classic for…I don’t know…ten years. Whenever Team Fortress 2 came out. Then I played Team Fortress 2 for another ten years or whatever.

    That’s largely my video game buying experience since 1998. I bought Half-Life and Half-Life 2.

    How many fucking Steam games do I have? That’s the only way I’ve purchased games since…whenever Steam came out.

    I have like 70 games on Steam. So 70 games in 20 years. That’s an average of 3.5 games a year. Figure an average game costs $25. I’m spending an average of $87.50 on video games per year.

    I also used to pirate a lot of PC games. I still do but not so often. I don’t care about video games so much any more. Not that I was ever hugely in video games. I played them I still play them but I’ve always stuck to a few core titles that I play for years. Something has to look really spectacular before I decide to try it out. And it has to somehow reach my attention, which isn’t easy because I don’t read any “gaming news” shit.

    “More importantly, how much do you spend on video games that you end up never playing.”

    Zero. It’s never happened once. If you’re buying games that you don’t even play, you’re doing something massively wrong.

    “I think that these are interesting topics and I want to have a discussion.”

    Way ahead of you, Icha. I’ve already covered the topic just from the first 15 seconds of your video. Who gives a shit what you have to say? It’s going to be boring as fuck.

    Okay, so I’ve watched the video. Except for the last minute. I had to stop. She talks about playing the demos to see if you like the game and watching Youtube reviews and shit.

    It’s like she’s doing this video from 1995. Just replace “Youtube” with “Electronic Gaming Monthly”.

    She seems to mostly be talking about Switch games. I don’t know. Switch games aren’t being widely pirated? There’s no Switch emulator? That’s certainly possible. I haven’t really looked at emulators in many years but the newest stuff doesn’t tend to be emulated.

    But just play the older stuff then. Or PC games. PC games are superior anyway. Always have been. I enjoy the novelty of playing Super Mario Bros on my computer but PC games tend to be much more in depth, customiseable, better graphics, whatever. And it’s been this way down through the ages.

  • Crystal Quin and Johanna’s Fansly ‘Collab’

    This is absolutely revolting. This is one of the most disgusting things that I’ve ever seen in my life.

    I take absolutely no pleasure in saying this. I don’t want to say hurtful stuff. I don’t have any particular problem with Johanna. But fucking look at this. How could I let this pass without comment? It’s completely nauseating.

    You have fucking Horseface there, showing off her jiggly arm fat. And she looks pretty stocky here. Big legs. Big stomach. The jiggly arm fat that I’ve already mentioned. This is not appealing. And then you have the fucking equine face.

    And then you have Johanna and…oh my god. What? It’s like there’s a fucking truck driver sitting behind Horseface. She has all these bad tattoos and she’s fucking 300 pounds. COME ON. How could she POSSIBLY have thought that she could make money doing porn?

    And then you go to the fucking comments, and Ian, who is Johanna’s husband or fiance, posts a “funny” gif saying, “That’s my wife.” Horseface replies with, “That might be your wife but she’s also my girlfriend.”

    This is fucking disgusting. I don’t know where in the Greek alphabet Ian falls but he would really have to strive to reach beta. He might be somewhere around theta. I’m also pretty sure that he’s gay. He was on an episode of Hack the Movies and he kept talking about his fondness for musical theatre. He also had a gay voice.

    This is…this is just awful all around. You have this fucking gay man marrying Johanna as some kind of a beard and then Horseface constantly having to talk about how “hot” Johanna is and how she’s her girlfriend. Despite the fact that Horseface is a heterosexual woman and Johanna isn’t hot and Johanna is married. TO A GAY MAN.

    On behalf of the non-retarded community, let me tell you that we don’t want any of this. Get this shit off the fucking internet. I never want to see or hear anything from Horseface, Johanna, or her gay fucking husband ever again.

    At the absolute minimum PUT SOME CLOTHES ON. None of these people are even REMOTELY hot. They’re not even presentable. And to pretend otherwise is offensive.

    I know that people like different stuff. But show me the category on Pornhub for “horse-faced women.” Show me the category for “fat truck driving women.” It’s not there. NOBODY wants this.

    The rest of the comments on that Twitter thread are basically just, “You go, girl” very muted kind of replies. Even Kris Glavin only said, “Horror queen goddesses”. He’s just trying to be polite like the rest of the people who left comments. Nobody on earth genuinely wants to see this. How could they possibly? It’s vile.

    The most baffling thing about this is that everyone involved in this apparently have jobs. Horseface does “events”, whatever that means. She’s also a big time model, of course. The Paris runways are full of chubby, horse-faced women who are knocking on 40. Johanna presumably still works at Screenwave in the finance department. As far as I’m aware, her husband still sells Hyundais or Hondas or something. So why are they making the world’s worst pornography? For fucking pennies? There is NO WAY that they’re making any considerable amount of money with this.

    There are so many jobs out there. There are so many different things that you can be doing with your life. Why this? Why would two women approaching 40, neither of whom are remotely attractive, decide on pornography as their next career venture? And not even legitimate pornography. Just this weird, scammy, lingerie shit to con literal retards out of pennies. It’s still just as embarassing as legitimate pornography. More embarassing, in fact. I’d have more respect for these women if they were doing actual pornography as opposed to this scam bullshit for retards. If you’re going to do porn, do it right.

    Please for the love of Christ, stop all of this. How could they not be massively embarassed by this? How could Johanna go back to work the next day after these revolting pictures? MAYBE the people at Screenwave are unprofessional enough to be cool with this, but how is she going to get a job at any respectable organisation with these disgusting pictures out there?

    I’m not saying this to be a prude. If these were some hot pictures of women with nice bodies, I would say whatever. You do you. But look at that fucking picture. Would you want people to see you in a “sexy” picture if you looked like that?

    I’m focusing mainly on Johanna but the same applies to Horseface. She needs to stop her delusion that she’s some hot chick. She is not. AT ALL. I’m sorry. I hate to be the one to say this. But somebody has to. She doesn’t seem to be getting any slimmer and her face isn’t becoming any less horse-like.

    It’s just people totally destroying their own lives. This seems to be a common theme with the people I write about.

    ,

  • Tight outfit Try on haul – Destiny Fomo

    What the fuck? Madam Fomo hasn’t done a try on haul IN YEARS. Here are two posts I made about previous try on hauls:

    Valentine’s Day try on haul – Destiny Fomo

    DestinyFomo's Forever 21 Haul – Destiny Fomo

    Those articles are from November 2020. And they’re re-posts of stuff that I wrote, I think from back when I was writing this stuff on Reddit. So I’m thinking perhaps 2019 was the last time that she did a try on haul. No later than 2020.

    But suddenly, the blog is gone and she goes right back to try on hauls.

    I don’t want to say that the blog is influential in any meaningful way. I was getting like 200 hits a day at my peak. But I think that the people who I write about think that the blog is significant. Madam Fomo has talked about the blog and tried repeatedly to get it shut down. Erin has talked about the blog. Newt has talked about the blog. Tony has talked about the blog. Horseface has talked about the blog. I think that half of my traffic is from the people who I write about.

    So why the sudden change in behaviour when the blog wasn’t around? Is it because they think that they’re free to do what they want now OR is it to encourage me to come back? Because nobody else is fucking writing about these people. And they surely like the attention. Even though I’m talking about how shit their videos are.

    Because suddenly, Erin is slutting it up, Madam Fomo is slutting it up…which…I mean…she’s a genuine prostitute so perhaps trying on tight clothes for a Youtube video isn’t really slutting it up for her but hopefully you see the point.

    I’d be astonished if they were moderating their behaviour while I was writing the blog. Why would they?

    Although, Pelvic Gamer became REALLY boring after I started writing about her. And Erin said just recently in that Mario 64 video something like, “He’s going to say that this is worst Mario footage ever recorded”, presumably in reference to me. It is something that I say. Retro Ali stopped making videos entirely. I don’t know. I don’t know what influence, if any, I have on the sort of content that these people make. Hopefully none. Other than the fact that these women should stop making videos entirely and get jobs, I don’t want to influence their content. Don’t let me stiffle your lack of creativity, talent, and judgement.

    So tight outfits. Tight outfits on Destiny Fomo. Let’s check them out. Nine minutes of this shit.

    0:15 – “I get requested to do this a lot.”

    She uses a lot of terrible English like this. But…this is her language. This is the only language that she speaks. It’s just…well, it’s sad. When did she stop going to school? What the hell was going on with her family? How did she end up with her pimp TuanX? Was her mother in the same line of work?

    0:30 – A sundress. It’s long and cute according to Madam Fomo. Looks like a grey dress to me. But let’s see it, Jessica Rabbit.

    1:00 – And then she tries it on. Yeah. That’s a dress all right.

    Oh wait. I think I’m supposed to be jerking off to this. Let me check. No totally flacid. Maybe this will get better.

    She shows front and back. Okay. Something for everything. Shout out to the ass men. I never understood the appeal of buttocks but life is full of mysteries.

    She’s doing a lot of poses. Okay. I’m not digging this. This is getting really boring now. Can we move on?

    She’s showing the back again. More posing. Okay. We get it. It’s a dress. And that’s your ass. And those are your tits. Right. I think I understand the video. Next outfit, please.

    Holy shit. This just keeps going.

    2:00 – FINALLY the next outfit. It’s a florescent orange dress. Madam Fomo says that she usually goes for muted colours. So this is going to be something special. I guess.

    She originally got this for a sexy Velma cosplay. Uh huh. Great. We’re all jerking off to Velma over here.

    3:00 – Yeah. That’s an outfit alright. An outfit that a prostitute would wear. So it’s fitting. But I’m sorry, there’s still nothing going on in my pants. Not to boast about impotence or anything but this just doesn’t do it for me.

    Then she does the same exact poses. Front and back. Come on, TuanX. Teach her some new poses. How about grabbing her ankles? Or pushing her tits together. Come on. This is Porn Poses 101.

    4:00 – “Backless mini dress.” Okay, Madam Fomo. We get it. Lay it on us.

    “I don’t normally wear backless things because I need so much support.”

    We get it, Fomo. You have big tits.

    I’ll say this about Madam Fomo, no visible tattoos. I like that. Especially with prostitutes, it’s so common for them to have tattoos. I’m sure that Madam Fomo has her pimp TuanX’s name tattooed somewhere on her. That’s normally how these work. But I haven’t seen it.

    4:45 – Then…she tries it on. It’s some weird dress with a separate…arm and shoulder piece. No. This is just confusing.

    5:00 – Then she takes the arm thing off. Oh man. Am I…no. Still nothing.

    5:30 – White dress.

    6:00 – “I’m afraid it might be a little too sheer but I guess we’re going to find out.”

    Alright. Come on, Madam Fomo. I’m ready to go. You made a promise. Let’s see what you got.

    Ummm….no. This doesn’t do anything for me in the slightest. It’s not sheer. Let me make this full screen.

    No. You can’t see anything. And she’s wearing a bra anyway. This is so disappointing.

    7:15 – Last dress is a black possible sun dress. Oh great. Saving the most boring for last. And these were all boring.

    7:45 – Then she tries it on. Yeah, that’s a dress alright, Madam Fomo.

    Then that’s…the video.

    Comments.

    • “Worst OF page ever. Trust me boys, don’t do it. It’s a total scam.”

    Madam Fomo must have given up on scrubbing the comments. This one was posted a week ago.

    But yeah, this video was just done to promote her OnlyFans. She has a link to it in the description. And yeah, her OnlyFans is AWFUL. At least it was when I saw some leaked pictures years ago. It was just her taking a bath fully clothed. What kind of bizarre fetish is that? There is no nudity AT ALL on that site.

    And then I remember seeing something, this is more recently, within the past year or so, where she was advertising a masturbation video if she got like $5,000 in “tips” or whatever they’re called. But she’d be masturbating using some big vibrating device OVER HER CLOTHES.

    Guys…there’s a lot of free porn out there. Porn where the women get totally naked and have intercourse. You don’t have to watch this weird scammy bullshit.

    It’s not even cheesecake photos like a woman in a bikini with a spraying garden hose between her legs. Or a dog pulling on a woman’s panties. Or a woman in high heels smoking a cigar. Those sorts of pictures have some sort of sexual inuendo to them. There’s also a certain artistry to it

    A fully clothed woman with a big vibrating wand is NOTHING. NOBODY has this fetish. It’s just some weird bullshit created by somebody who has absolutely no idea what men are interested in. And it all makes sense when you read Madam Fomo’s escort reviews. They were UNIVERSALLY NEGATIVE. I’ve never seen anything like this. Every single person gave her a terrible review. She doesn’t have the foggiest idea what men are interested in.

    I mean, it’s fine. I’m not saying that women should be sex symbols. BUT THIS IS HER JOB! She chose or TuanX chose for her to be a sex worker. So you have to put the fucking effort in. You have to know what men want. Men do not want a photo of a woman, in the bathtub, in a one piece swimsuit, with bubbles on her chest. Alright? That’s not what we want.

  • Food Mascot Retro Games – Erin Plays

    This video is under four minutes in length. According to the thumbnail, she’s going to be talking about Cool Spot, Chester Cheetah, and the Noid. You know…corporate mascots from the 1980s. Erin aka Cykill1986 was allegedly born in 1987.

    By the way, I was watching a Mike stream recently and he claimed that the Cykill1986 account is his. It probably is but why would he use the name Cykill1986? He was born in 1980. Is he trying to pick up chicks on his Playstation account? Chicks who are interested in guys with Gobot names? Would the six year age difference even change anything? There is NOBODY who is going to be interested in ANYONE who has a Gobots Playstation username.

    And his account was completely locked down anyway. There was certainly no picture of him on his account. You couldn’t even see what fucking games he has. So why didn’t he just go with Cykill1980? It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Who is he trying to fool with this? And to what end?

    0:00 – “I miss the days of turning the television on and seeing food mascots like the Noid, Cool Spot, and Chester Cheetah gracing the airwaves.

    I remember all of these characters. I’m going to guess that the Noid stopped appearing in commercials in 1988. I’ll say that Cool Spot stopped in 1992. Chester Cheetah was probably the last to go. I’ll say 1994 for Chester Cheetah.

    Reminder: Erin was born in 1987.

    Now let’s look this up. Maybe I can find official end dates for these characters.

    Noid was 1986 to 1995. That’s much later than I thought. It ended because a mentally ill guy with the last name of Noid thought that the commercials were about him and he held up a Domino’s restaurant. I remember that story.

    The only information about Cool Spot that I can find is that he appeared in commercials during the early 1990s.

    Chester Cheetah is allegedly still appearning in some form or another but in terms of mainstream, traditionally animated commercials, I think that that stopped in 1997 or so.

    So the oldest Erin could have been when she saw these characters was 11. That’s old enough to remember them but she was watching them when the characters were on their way out. Nobody gave a shit about the noid in 1992. Except for that one guy, I guess.

    Why doesn’t she make *nostalgia* videos for things that are appropriate to her age? Things that she actually saw?

    She’s said before that she never saw a single episode of Friends. Or Seinfeld. The two most popular shows of the 1990s.

    But she does talk about Buffy. A show from the 2000s.

    It’s accurate. I don’t take any issue with her talking about Buffy. That’s a show that she apparently saw and the timeframe fits. The show ran from 1997 to 2003. She would have been 10 to 16 years old.

    I’m ten years older than Erin and it fits with tv shows that I’m *nostalgic* for. So we’re talking 1987 to 1993. Mr Belvedere. Perfect Strangers. Small Wonder. Shit like this.

    But I’m not talking about shows from 1977 to 1983. I wasn’t even fucking born for the early part of those dates. I have no idea what was on television at the time. I’ve never seen a single episode of Charlie’s Angels. I don’t even know what it’s about.

    She does this shit because she knows that her audience is comprised largely of horny, mentally retarded men in their 40s. So she makes videos pretending to know about this shit. Poorly.

    Then there’s a picture that she took from the Dinosaur Dracula website. This is FLAMING homosexual who does *nostalgia* content. He’s been doing this for like 20 years. He has a blog. I remember going to it regularly, back before it became Dinosaur Dracula. It was called X-Entertainment or something. He would mostly post around Halloween, a very popular holiday for gay men. “Hey guys! Remember Double Bubble?” Shit like this.

    Anyway, apparently Erin talks to this guy now. I saw him posting on her Twitter before.

    0:30 – Now she’s talking about the games that had these characters in them. “It didn’t matter if the games were good or not, we were just happy to play anything that contained these characters.”

    Really? “We”? Erin was sitting at home, in 1990, playing Yo Noid? With a diaper full of stool?

    You know what I remember from 1980? NOTHING. I was two years old. But somehow, Erin was really living it up. Playing Yo Noid on the NES. And she was happy to do it. She just wanted to play a game based on her favourite advertising mascot the Noid. He ruins pizzas.

    Cool Spot. Released in 1993. You know what I remember from 1983? NOTHING. I was five years old. But in 1993, Erin, as a five year old, was chilling with the game based on the 7-Up mascot.

    Does she think that we’re all fucking retarded? She was not playing these fucking games. Fuck off. She never even heard of them until she was desperate to make a video and asked Mike for some ideas.

    The Chester Cheetah game was released in 1992, by the way.

    “Because we already had an emotional connection to them from seeing them for years on television.”

    AS A FIVE YEAR OLD? She had an emotional connection to Cool Spot, as a five year old, from watching him for years on television.

    Why is she incapable of honesty? Just tell us what you like, Erin. Enough of the bullshit. We don’t need to hear FAKE interests. What’s the point of that? Tell us something that you actually like?

    She never fucking did anything. Her parents were fucking monsters who locked her in a closet for her entire childhood. And when you do that, this is what you get. Erin Plays. A total sociopath who can’t tell the truth and only exists to use people.

    0:45 – “Drinking soda out of a Spuds MacKenzie glass.”

    I barely remember the charter. I was a little kid when these commercials were on. And they were beer commercials. I wasn’t interested in beer.

    But Erin, who’s ten years younger than me, is pretending that she’s all about Spuds MacKenzie. The character stopped appearing in advertising in 1989. Erin was two years old. Do two year olds drink from glasses?

    “Going to the grocery store and picking up a bag of Cheetos with your grandmother. They weren’t just mascots. they were a part of our lives.”

    Interesting that she didn’t say that she went to the grocery store with her parents. Her parents wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.

    But yeah. Mr Peanut was a part of Erin’s life. AS A TWO YEAR OLD. And she remembers this. She’s a big Mr Peanut fan. She makes Mike dress up in a top hat, cane, and monocle before he has anal sex with her in exchange for Youtube promotion.

    1:00 – “And maybe, just maybe we felt more comfortable with them than we did with our own friends and family.”

    Well, I can see Erin prefering corporate mascots over her particular family. But not corporate mascots from 1989. Not as a two year old. It’s patently absurd.

    1:00 – Then there’s a waving American flag and Erin says, “God bless Cool Spot, God bless Chester Cheetah, and God bless the United State of America.”

    What is this? Some unbelievably weak attempt at comedy. Some of that delightful female comedy that the world loves. But it’s all preposterous. We’ve already established that Erin’s CAN’T POSSIBLY have any memories of these characters. Just by the fucking years that these characters ceased to be on television in relation to Erin’s date of birth. Why does she do this?

    1:15 – Then she starts “reviewing” the games. We’ve got two minutes of this shit. She’s going to “review” three games in two minutes. Three games that she OBVIOUSLY has never played before.

    1:45 – The game is cute. Great stuff, Erin.

    2:00 – The SECOND reference to McKids in this video. McKids is a game that she’s played on stream, for money. That’s the only reason she knows anything about it.

    2:15 – Then she reviews Yo Noid for like ten seconds. Literally ten seconds. But this game has so much *nostalgia* for Erin. I don’t get it. She was playing this game as a two year old. She can’t give it more than ten seconds. All she said is that she can’t get into the game and doesn’t like it. Well, okay, but didn’t you like it as a two year old? Tell us some stories about how you used to play this game as a two year old.

    2:30 – Some Chester Cheetah game that she’s never played before. She likes the colours. Great stuff, Erin. And she “reviewed” this one for about 15 seconds. She also “reviewed” numerous Cool Spot games for like ten seconds each.

    3:00 – Now Kool-Aid Man for the Atari 2600 gets a shout out. This is a game that was released in 1983. Erin was playing this out in the ether somewhere, in whatever realm that one occcupies before you’re born. She was a collection of cells in her father’s ass just chilling, playing some Kool Aid Man on her Atari 2600.

    Oh, I almost missed this. I assumed that she was talking about Kool-Aid Man on the Atari 2600. Because that’s how I played it. But the game she’s holding is the Intellivision port. She mistakenly calls it “Coleco” and then corrects it in post-production by having “Intellivision” appear on screen. Can’t be bother to do another take.

    3:00 – The THIRD reference to McKids in this video.

    3:15 – “I miss the wackiness of food mascots. Let’s have a Geico Gecko game on the Switch because why not.”

    Oh, sure. Who doesn’t enjoy eating their car insurance policy?

    But aside from the fact that the Geico Gecko is OBVIOUSLY not a food mascot, this is an age-appropriate example that she gave. When Erin is forced to come up with corporate mascots, without the aid of old NES games, this is the shit that she comes up with. Corporate mascots from the 2000s. This is what she remembers. It makes perfect sense.

    What doesn’t make sense is pretending to be *nostalgic* for characters that haven’t been seen on television since you were two years old.

    “Why do these mascots mean anything to me?”

    They don’t. You’re just completely full of shit. You enjoy lying. It’s the only thing you know. You’re incapable of telling the truth.

    3:15 – Chester Cheetah has been around my whole life and it’s good to see him around.”

    Has he really? According to Wikipedia, the character had a new voice actor in 1997. That’s probably around the time that the character was being phased out. In 2003, they say that there was a CGI Chester Cheetah. I certainly don’t remember that. Then from 2008 to the present, he was internet only. Has anybody on earth ever been to OrangeUnderground dot com? No. But Erin wants us to believe that she’s all about Chester Cheetah. She’s followed his whole career. It’s fucking ridiculous.

    3:30 – “The world kind of sucks now.”

    No it doesn’t. You suck. You suck big time. Get your life together and suddenly you might find that the world doesn’t suck. The problem is you, Erin. You’re getting fucked in the ass every night for $3.000/year and bi-weekly trips to visit your parents in California. Yeah. That sucks. That’s a sucky existence. But get a fucking job and start behaving like a functioning adult and then you might find that your outlook on life changes.

    Then she ends the video by talking about Mr Peanut. She talked about Mr Peanut a number of times in this video. But it’s totally unrelated to anything. The video was supposed to be about the Cool Spot, Noid, and Chester Cheetah games.

    This was fucking awful. Even by Erin’s standards. No effort AT ALL was put into this video. And it’s just four minutes of lies. What’s the point of this?

    She can’t possibly be making much money from this. If she was, wouldn’t she be more motivated to make videos? She’d be making them regularly. And putting effort into them.

    • Are you old enough to remember all of this? You look young af”

    No. Even the fucking retards on her channel don’t buy this shit. It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why the fake *nostalgia* for stuff that you can’t POSSIBLY have remembered seeing?

    Mike has the same affliction. “Hey guys! Remember the A-Team cartoon? And the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon? That’s my era!”

    Really? Because I’m two years older than you and have absolutely no memory of those cartoons. They’re before my time.

    • Erin, are you running for Congress???? “…and G-d Bless the United States of America.””

    Erin replies with, “Nope, I’m just insane :D”

    Oh, look at me. Aren’t I kooky and “random”? That’s funny, right?

    No. No, it’s not funny, Erin. It’s painfully unfunny.

    And that guy censored God because…he has an Arabic name. Do Muslims do that? I know that Jews do. Well, I can see Muslims doing it too.

    • “The reason you notice the simularities with the GameBoy version of Cool Spot and M.C. Kids is because its a sprite swap of the same game 😛 | Don’t feel bad for not knowing that, I interviewed the dev and he didn’t know that has game got sprite swapped either lol”

    Erin replies with, “I had no idea about this, wild! I definitely need to look up game play lol.”

    So Erin didn’t even know. Erin is a big McKids fan. She played it once, on stream for money. And she didn’t realise that this Cool Spot game, which she played for a few seconds, for the purposes of this Youtube video, ARE THE SAME FUCKING GAME.

    What a gamer!

    She just got caught out in another lie. This is all that she does. But these fucking retards overlook it because they’re just there to masturbate.

    • “U guys have a staus of celebrity not many can match so if u only stay on you tube well there’s a lot of ppl who know u guys all exist and James Rolf pioneered this type of fame something u can be very proud of even if u never make one Hollywood appearance u done things in ur life most ppl can only dream of ppl like me this girl the fact she likes games and is pretty and on camera has a really chill personality makes it seem possible to get a woman like her they far and few between but good luck to the whole crew here”

    This guy is admitting that he’s only here to jerk off. And Erin replied with something totally banal, as usual.

  • The Return of the Blog

    What an ordeal getting this thing going. But after that video of James Rolfe waxing idiotic about what a great writer he is, I was motivated to get things moving again. These scumbags were running amok for the past month. Nobody was keeping them in check.

    Look at fucking Erin. She posted that picture on her Twitter where she took the Powepad thumbnail and superimposed it on the Barbie logo. It’s some “meme”, I guess. You think that she would have done that if I was still writing the blog? Fuck no. I’d be all over that.

    And then she posted that THREE MINUTE video where she’s dressed as a “sexy” nurse. Just out of nowhere. An unbelievably low-effort video clearly designed to pull in the horntards.

    She must have thought, “Hey, that Gamer Girls guy is gone, I’m free to do whatever I want.” No. Party time is over.

    Actually, I don’t give a fuck. Do whatever you want, Erin. It’s you wasting your life, not me.

    I haven’t been watching any of these videos, from anyone in the past month. I only watch that trash for the fucking blog. So it was a nice vacation. Didn’t have to deal with The Ideas Man or Tony from Summarise the Movies or Erin.

    Oh, but I missed Kieran quitting Screenwave. Well, I can still do an article on that. And all of the videos that I’ve missed.

    As for the blog name, the name of the site used to be “Gamer Grrls” and that’s how I had the URLs as well. “gamergrrlsofficial”. I had to do it like that because “gamergirls” was taken. Even “gamergirlsofficial” was taken. So I reluctantly went with “gamergrrls”, which did not help people find the site. It just made things more difficult.

    I noticed like a year ago that some buffoon registered gamergrrlsofficial dot com. I suspect that it was Mike Matei for no particular reason. Maybe it’s just some random lunatic from Reddit. But like I’m going to fucking pay for that misspelled domain name. Or maybe they were just doing it to try to hassle me. No. I don’t care. Continue to pay for that misspelled domain name.

    So daily blogs starting from…hopefully Saturday.