Gamer Girls

0:00 – John Riggs is at yet another nerd convention, trying desperately to pick up chicks, and getting a tattoo. Spoiler: it’s unbelievably bad.

Then it cuts to him wearing his John Riggs baseball shirt that he got as part of some sponsorship promotion thing. Jesus Christ. Get some other shirts. He wore this in the last video I saw of his. Well, the guy is 300 pounds. I suppose that shirts are in limited supply in his size.

Oh, he’s in Pittsburgh, by the way. I wonder if he met any of the Screenwave crew. Or at least Horseface. He met Horseface, right? Wasn’t there some picture recently of him and Horseface? Now I have to check.

Yeah, I talk about it there. That was a different nerd convention. God, this is all that this guy does. He just goes to nerd conventions while his long suffering wife is at home with these extremely unfortunate children. How can he possibly have a job when he seems to ALWAYS be at some nerd convention across the country?

5:30 – Quick shot of the original Mr Wright Way. It’s literally like one second. John Riggs says “Hey, look who’s here” and Mr Wright Way says “hey” and then there’s an edit.

I guess he doesn’t want to offend Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal. But she’s married. Well, I guess he was trying to get with her even when she was married to Mr Wright Way so it doesn’t matter to him. John Riggs considers the sanctity of marriage to be somewhat over-rated.

10:00 – Some freak in a furry head getting a tattoo. Yeah, this is where I want to spend my time. With these completely socially inept losers.

13:45 – Quick creep shot of a purple-haired freak. John Riggs always seems to find them.

14:15 – Couple of butch lesbians holding hands. They’re in love. Spending their time at the nerd convention. Doesn’t get any more romantic than that.

15:00 – Another shot of Mr Wright Way. No mention of him.

16:30 – He’s showing some some of insect infestation outside the nerd convention.

20:00 – Now he’s just filming some asshole with a megaphone. As if going to this nerd convention isn’t painful enough now you have a guy walking around actively trying to make it worse.

Fortunately for this megaphone guy, none of the people at this nerd convention have any testosterone. Well, except for maybe those two lesbians.

25:30 – So finally we see the tattoo. It’s a…I don’t know. Some kind of blue gem. On his fat wrist. It’s the world’s worst placement. It’s a terrible tattoo. What the fuck is this? I assume that it’s a reference to some video game.

Then John Riggs says that he has carpal tunnel syndrome so can’t move his wrist. Then he demonstrates and indeed his wrist doesn’t seem to move much.

Maybe he can give some advice to Erin. Erin hasn’t talked about her carpal tunnel syndrome in quite some time. It just magically disappeared. She’s doing four hour streams with no problem. Interesting.

But yeah, John Riggs, what the fuck? How many health problems can one person have? I think that if he lost 100 pounds, he might find that some of these health problems go away.

And this tattoo…what the fuck was he thinking with this? You’re going to get chicks with this fucking shit?

In the comments, JOHN RIGGS says that it’s a rupee from Legend of Zelda. Is it? I’ve never actually played the game but I’ve seen Mike Matei play it a fucking billion times. Are they blue? They’re not blue. Are they?

I know that he’s bald, 46 years old, 300 pounds, married, has three children, doesn’t seem to have a job, makes Youtube videos about video games, and creeps on every woman he can find but why ADD to your list of reasons why women wouldn’t be interested in you? The tattoo might be the dealbreaker. There might be a woman out there who can overlook all of that other stuff but not the tattoo.

And it’s not like that tattoo is going to get you any women. Nobody ON EARTH is going say, “That rupee tattoo is really doing it for me. Sex later?”

I knew a guy who had some German insignia on his wrist. Not a swastika but something along these lines. He was a racist fellow and all but I think he got it to honour his German heritage. Nevertheless, he had enough sense to always wear a huge fucking watch to cover that tattoo.

John Riggs is going to need one of those Slime Time watches from the 1980s to cover that abomination that he has. You would actually get more chicks from wearing a Slime Time watch than you would from having that fucking tattoo.

And if we’re talking tattoos and picking up chicks, and it’s a choice between a racist tattoo and a nerd tattoo, you have to go with the racist tattoo every fucking time. For a lot of women it would be a turn on. They might associate it with prisons and they like the bad boys. Or maybe they’re just some crazy racist chick. Plenty of them out there.

But nerd tattoos? Come on. There’s NOBODY. NOBODY will be turned on by a nerd tattoo.

So what I’m saying, quite clearly, is that John Riggs should cover himself with racist tattoos if he wants to pick up chicks. Which is something that he clearly does want. That’s his whole reason for getting up in the morning. He’s constantly trying to pick up chicks.

Imagine him going through this fucking nerd convention, shirtless, and he’s covered in “SS” and “88” and Celtic Cross tattoos. And right on his man boobs he has a huge imperial eagle grasping a swastika. You’re telling me that he wouldn’t get chicks? He’d get somebody with that shit. Might be a man in a dress or that fucking furry but he’d get somebody.

He’s in Utah hoping to take advantage of their lax enforcement of polygamy laws. Just seeing the lay of the land. If it’s a place he might like to live with a couple of purple-haired freaks.

He has a booth. What does that mean? Just that he paid for a booth to sell shit, right? But…why would he bring all of his shit to Utah to sell? He presumably drove. That’s quite a drive from Washington, isn’t it? This can’t possibly be a money maker.

2:00 – There’s some old guy who was a voice in some video game, I guess, and NOBODY knows who he is. But he’s out there trying to hype the crowd. It’s embarassing.

3:45 – He says that he’s been a radio DJ for 23 years. I know that I’ve seen him on some local radio station’s website. But is this a full-time job? It can’t be because he’s constantly finding time to go to these nerd conventions.

8:00 – Some big mama is annoyed at John Riggs pawing through her bin of games.

8:15 – Some alleged hot chick is flirting with a horntard while her husband tries to sell a comic book to John Riggs.

10:30 – John Riggs says that it’s $5 to get in or $2 if you bring a can of food.

That is remarkably cheap at either price. But I vaguely remember stuff like this…where you could get in cheaper if you brought a can of food. I can’t remember exactly what, though. It was something for school, surely.

It strikes me as embarassing, though. Bringing food in to get a discount. Even though that’s presumably what the organisers prefer. Because it’s some charity thing. They want you do the legwork so that they can take all the glory when they deliver the food to the shelter or whatever.

I’m reminded of Horseface’s “heartwarming” charity Christmas story. Let’s see if I can find that. I’ll try keyword “shoes”.

Oh here we go.

Oh yeah. Horseface is yelling at a hypothetical impoverished ten year old for being “greedy”. There were a lot of gems in this one. She went to a shelter, saw that a baby wasn’t wearing shoes (why would they? They’re indoors) so she left and cried in her car FOR AN HOUR while the family she was there to drop her donation off were left scratching their heads. “Why did that horsefaced woman look at our baby’s feet and then run out of the room crying?”

11:35 – Is that a man or a woman behind John Riggs?

You know who’s an often overlooked victim in this whole “trans” thing? Unattractive women. In years past, you’d see an unattractive woman and think, “Oh god. That’s one homely woman.” But now you think, “Wait a minute. Is that a guy?”

At least in the past you recognised the person as a woman. Now you’re not even sure if the person has a penis or not. It’s a huge step down to have somebody question your gender. And you don’t know how to treat them. Do I treat this person as a woman, giving them the respect and consideration that I would give any woman regardless of appearance, or do I treat them as some wierd freak who’s a man in a dress? There’s a huge difference.

Anyway, then the video just ends.

• “That girl sitting next to the guy talking about his comic book is amazingly hot.”

I go out every day and…you always see attractive women. That woman in the video is not anything special.

I went out the other day, in broad daylight, and there was a woman with shorts so high up that probably 30% of her ass was showing. No exaggeration. I studied that ass and made the calculations.

These horntards would seemingly lose their minds if they saw that. But it’s just normal. Isn’t it? Isn’t this normal everywhere? I don’t think that Scotland is renowned for their hot chicks. But there are plenty. I’ve never been anywhere where this wasn’t common.

But you read these fucking comments and it’s like these guys just got out of prison. They’re going nuts over some mildly attractive woman.

And look at these allegedly “hot” Youtubers. It’s the most baffling thing in the fucking universe. Women who are considerably below average in appearance are presenting themselves as hot chicks and being treated by the horntards as hot chicks. Is it mass delusion?

You wouldn’t look at any of these women twice if you saw them on the street. But put them on a Youtube channel in front of some video games and suddenly they’re a hot chick? How does that work?