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I discovered these rare Sega Megadrive (Genesis) retro games! – Lydgendary
Oh baby. She’s back with another video.
0:00 – “Today I’m going to be doing a little video about some new Megadrive pickups that I got recently. I’m really excited to show you some of those.”
You’re not the only one who’s excited here. Show me the goods, baby. Really work it. Make me want it.
I don’t know what that is in her ear, by the way, but who cares? Maybe it’s a hearing aid. Maybe it’s headphones. Maybe it’s some hip accessory that the young people are using now. Whatever it is, I’m into it.
0:15 – Ristar. Great. Fabulous. Never heard of it but I’m sure it’s wondeful. You have fun with that one.
I don’t even care that she called the character “super cute”.
Then she shows a close up of the case. Then she sensually opens it up and shows the manual. Oh my god. Can you do this on Youtube?
She shows the condition. It’s a little worn but fantastic. No complaints from me, certainly.
1:30 – Puggsy. I think. She says that it’s from the same publisher that made Lemmings. So…Psygnosis?
Not too long ago, I was in the building that used to house DMA Designs. It’s a Mexican restaurant now. There must have been a sign in there indicating that it used to be where DMA is.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockstar_North
Oh yeah. There’s a picture of the building there. That was definitely it. But when I went, there was just a fat chick in there with her friend. And you had to order from the app. I hate that. I’m there, in person, can I not just tell you what I want? It’s not like the place was busy. No, I have to take ten minutes downloading the app and monkeying with that shit.
2:00 – “I think it looks really, really good. It’s really defined.”
Ooh. Speaking of things that look really, really good and are well-defined, let’s take a brief detour to check out Lydia’s Twitter.
Oof. Work those melons, baby.
Ummm…I’m finding it a little dubious that these three women happen to live in the same area, are about the same age, and all share the same extreme nerd interests. ALSO, they’re all “content creators” and the “content” that they “create” surrounds nerd activities.
I’m starting to doubt the veracity of all of this, Lydia. Is this all just a ploy to pull in horntards? Because that’s not attractive.
Even if this is genuine, it’s not attractive. Three giant nerds playing a boardgame and gossiping over view counts and giving each other thumbnail tips? It’s pathetic.
Nevertheless, I’d still give all of those women some loving. So let’s move on.
2:45 – Lemmings. She refers to it as “The Lemmings” twice so it’s not an accident. But she continues, “I’ve never played this before.” Fine. It’s an old game. Nobody expects you to have played it. I can appreciate the honesty.
But who would possibly want to play the console version of this? I downloaded some open source or something Lemmings thing a few years ago that had all of the levels from every game and probably new ones created by nerds in their mothers’ basements. I can’t find what it was now, though.
Oh, I think it was NeoLemmix.
But no, I’d rather play the watered down console version of this game on my “Mega Drive” like a cavewoman.
3:30 – Alisa Dragoon. I’m pretty sure that she said “Dragon”.
4:30 – “So that’s the games. Let’s go show you what they look like to play now”. And she raises her eyebrows.
What? Is she implying something here? This is all very suggestive.
So she plays the games in a darkened room while some mood-setting music plays. We can’t see Lydia but I assume that she’s in a sheer bra and panties set and nothing else. She’s filming her tv.
9:15 – “That concludes the video. Thank you so much for watching” and she encourages you to subscribe to all of her social media. I won’t be doing all of that but the pleasure was all mine, Lydia. Keep up the good work.
Let’s hope that Erin and these other clueless buffoons who I write about are taking notes. You have to be engaging, you have to have some semblance of a personality, you have to have some class, and you have to put work into your videos. This is how you get views.
Lydia didn’t just shit this video out. This was lovingly crafted. She had the different shots of the box art. She had the music for the gameplay portion of the video. She had different angles of the tv to keep things fresh. This was all laid out in advance. Work was put into this.
She didn’t just say, “Hey, guys. I’m going to play some game for ten minutes for the first last time in my life and see what happens.” That’s dogshit.
When she was familiar with a game, she said so. And when she wasn’t familiar with a game, she didn’t make shit up. She didn’t say, “Oh, I used to play Lemmings all the time but I just forgot what level 2 looks like.” She just said, “I’ve never played this before.” No big deal. Nobody cares. Nobody has played every game. There are loads of games that I haven’t played. Popular games. Who gives a shit?
And she doesn’t have to dress like a whore vampire to get views. Seeing those delicious melons in a sweater is enough. Dignity is attractive.
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NEWTrition SPRITE LEGACY Review – Newt Wallen
He’s a big…hockey fan? I know that he’s mentioned it before. He said that he played as a child but…I don’t know. I find it weird. I don’t think that I’ve ever known anyone who likes hockey.
He also enjoys carbonated beverages. And when it’s late at night, I enjoy talking about videos that are only four minutes long. So let’s check it out.
0:30 – He mentions the calorie count. He always does this. Just don’t drink it if you’re that concerned about calories.
1:00 – This is some kind of “hip hop” soda. Newt doesn’t understand what makes it hip hop, nor do I. But it’s on the label.
1:30 – “It just tastes like Sprite.”
Fantastic. So that’s the video.
What else can he try? How about beverages from around the world? It will cost money but if he has money to hire prostitute “actresses” for his “films” he has money for international soda.
I think that they just have the usual shit in the UK. Except for Irn Bru in Scotland. I read that it’s more popular in Scotland than Coke. It’s probably true. I see Irn Bru everywhere. It’s just a…I don’t know…mystery flavour beverage. It’s fine.
Oh, what if Newt got a can of American Coke, which I assume still have high fructose corn syrup and got, say, a Mexican can of Coke, which I believe uses sugar (like everywhere else on earth). Then he can do a taste comparison.
These limited time flavours kind of suck dick. I know that it’s all the rage in the US but I’m thinking it would be better to try actual, established sodas from around the world.
You don’t even have to order it, which might be expensive with shipping. Is there an import shop or an international grocery store anywhere in Philadelphia?
Yeah, of course. Queen Village Food Market, which sells Middle Eastern food.
I went to a Middle Eastern shop before. I was standing there at the counter with my purchase, actually, I think it was a soda, and the guy was just on his phone. For like…three minutes. No exaggeration. Then a customer in a fucking ninja outfit stood behind me which prompted another cashier to immediately open her register to assist this ninja. So I said fuck this and I left. Never went back. And I was a semi-regular. I enjoy all of the fine import shops.
Any time I see a Polish shop, which is fairly often, I stop in. Check out the fine selection of Polish candy. Maybe get some cookies. Maybe get a can of delicious Gołąbki.
I go to the Chinese shops. Get some Samyang spicy chicken ramen. Get some weird dried fruits. Get some Choco Pies.
I go to Indian shops. Get some samosas. Get some weird Indian savory snacks.
I was telling my girlfriend about my fondness for import shops and asked if she shares my passion for them. No. She says she’s never been in one. She asked why I go. She was completely perplexed and suggested that there was some sexual motivation. Like I’m trying to pick up immigrants in there.
No. It’s nothing like that. Although, I do appreciate helping out my fellow immigrants. I like the different food. Is that so crazy? And it’s usually fairly cheap.
And it is a more comfortable experience knowing that you’re largely with other immigrants. Even if other people don’t realise that I’m an immigrant or obviously that I’m not from their country, I just feel more comfortable. They’re people who more or less had a similar experience than me. Experienced similar struggles and discrimination and just random bullshit.
Not that I do my full shopping at these places. But I pick up a few things.
I’ll tell you what’s dogshit, though. Pakistani-run corner shops. Go fuck yourself with your price gouging and rude as fuck staff. And they don’t even sell Pakistani shit usually. It’s just the regular grocery store shit but at a 50% markup. Why? Why would I go here? The nearest normal grocery store is a ten minute walk at the most.
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Garfield’s Halloween Adventure (1980s) – Monster Madness 2023 – Cinemassacre
Now, before I begin, every single time that this cartoon has been brought up, I’ve mentioned that the book adaptation is remarkably faithful to the cartoon. It’s so faithful, that whenever the cartoon would be on tv, I’d rush to get the book so that I can read along with the cartoon.
I’ve mentioned this probably half a dozen times right here on the blog. It’s my thing that I say. I’m the go-to guy for talking about the how faithful the book is to the cartoon. And I’ve never seen this mentioned anywhere else on the internet and I’ve looked.
So if they mention this anywhere in the video, it’s just ripping off my observation Newt Wallen style. Let’s find out then.
0:15 – But first a word from our sponsor. Fuck off. And he gives a shout out to Rex Viper. Fuck off again.
0:45 – “Test your MET-al”. He REALLY pronounces the “T”. Why? It’s weird.
1:00 – Then he does an unbelievably bad “Kiss, Marry, Kill” thing that the company obviously told him to do. And he’s clearly never played the game before, even though he claims that he has. It’s Raid: Shadow Legends, by the way. And it’s the childish version of “Fuck, Marry, Kill”, not that “Fuck, Marry, Kill” is a game played by adults. But it’s the dumbed down toddler version of this game which is obviously inappropriate for toddlers in any event, even with the change. So why change it? Who are they trying to appease by changing “Fuck” to “Kiss”?
2:15 – He’s finally starting the video. By the way, in previous videos he was always adamant that it had to be a tv show, it had to be originally broadcast around Halloween time, they had to mention Halloween in the episode. He had a whole list of autistic criteria that nobody cares about.
So what about this? This wasn’t a tv show. I mean, I know there was a Garfield and Friends Saturday morning cartoon but this was a 30 minute (I think) special that was broadcast at night. It had the same animation and voice actors as the Saturday morning cartoon but it was a separate thing. So this fails his stupid autism test.
2:45 – He starts talking about Alf. James…we don’t fucking care. We don’t want to hear about these stupid honourable mentions. He did this in the previous two videos too. Just get on with it. This is mindless padding and we can all see that.
4:00 – “Just to clarify, it’s not actually an episode, it’s a special.”
Yeah, exactly, you dumb fucking autist. So it’s out. It doesn’t meet your criteria. Pick one of the ten other tv shows that you mentioned during your honourable mention segment.
Oh, and it preceded Garfield and Friends by a few YEARS.
James. You fucked up. Just admit it. Admit to your autistic self that this thing does not fit your criteria but you just wanted to talk about it anyway.
4:30 – “While I grew up with it, I actually remember more vividly the comic book version.”
OH, HERE WE GO! What fucking horseshit. And he’s holding up the book. Now I have to check the archives.
I said, “I had the book Garfield in Disguise and it follows the movie almost exactly. I used to be really amazed by that as a kid. The cartoon would come on, I’d race to get the book, and I’d go through it as the show goes on and it’s identical. Same words, same drawings. It’s the most faithful book adaptation I’ve ever seen. There were some minor differences but I don’t remember what they were.”
Fucking bullshit. Nobody has ever mentioned this anywhere on the internet. Just me. But now James Rolfe is reading this script prepared by some intern at Screenwave and talking about his fondness for the book. Obviously ripped this shit off from me.
“It’s almost exactly the same as the animated version. Every panel is near identical.”
UNBELIEVABLE! That was James Rolfe reading that. The same fucking thing that I wrote. Hopefully it was that faggot Sean from Movie Dumpster who wrote this script and he’ll get fired for plagiarism.
5:30 – Then Jimmy just starts summarising the fucking movie. Or whatever this is. It’s not a tv show. Animated special.
This is fucking awful. He’s literally just summaring the special. That’s it. That’s all that these things are. IT’S AWFUL.
So I listened to the rest of this as background noise while doing other stuff. He mentioned the book several more times. Complete bullshit. I can’t wait until Sean from Movie Dumpster gets fired for this shit. I don’t even care if he’s responsible for this.
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Eastward A Disappointing Indie | Eastward Review (Nintendo Switch) – Pelvic Gaming
God bless you if you’re jerking off to this thumbnail. You just made Pelvic Gamer’s whole week. She’s sitting in her mother’s home saying, “Please, somebody just jerk off to my thumbnail. I’ve even showing whatever cleavage I have in this one. Come on, guys. Why aren’t I getting any views?”
Well, your content is boring. There’s that.
So then she just reviews the game. I can’t. I made it two minutes in. She gives proper reviews. Talks about the game. What she likes. What she doesn’t like. “Fun factor”. Whatever. But it’s boring as fuck. I’m not interested in RPGs so I guess that’s a factor. I’m not sure that I’m the target audience.
I was thinking about AOL recently. How I tried to cancel my AOL account back in…it must have been 2003 or so.
So I’m on the phone and I tell them that I want to cancel my account. I tell them why. I don’t remember the reason. I just found another internet service provider or something. I might have only been using AOL because I recently moved and I wanted to get setup quickly. I had the AOL cds.
Then they transfer me to somebody else. And this guy was absolutely adamant that I need to change my phone…whatever it is….like AT&T or whatever. The people who operate your phone.
I told the guy that I’m not interested and I’m not going to tell him who my phone operator is. He was completely baffled by this. “Why are you afraid to tell me who your phone operator is?” Because it’s irrelevant. I’m here to cancel AOL. That’s it. You don’t need to know who my phone operator is.
I asked this guy repeatedly, “Do I need to do this?” as in do I need to have this conversation with you? And he didn’t answer. Because I was never told that my AOL was cancelled. That’s the only reason I was talking to this guy is because I wanted the AOL cancelled.
As it turns out, I didn’t have to talk to this guy. That’s why he kept not answering the question. This guy was nothing to do with AOL. The first guy I spoke to cancelled my AOL and then sent me to this asshole to try to get me to change phone providers.
So I finally told the guy that AT&T is my phone provider. And he said that his company offers lower rates. I said that I don’t care. I’m not interested in changing providers. He couldn’t seem to understand this.
I’ve never in my life been spoken to by such an aggressive salesman. Does he think that I’m just going to be badgered into changing phone providers? “Okay, I’ll change providers. Just please stop berating me.”
The only reason why people didn’t immediately put the phone down on these assholes is because AOL intentionally made it seem like you had to speak to them in order to cancel your AOL. And these assholes knew that and that’s why they refused to end the phone call.
I tried to cancel my ISP in the UK as well. Numerous times. Different ISPs. Always a hassle. One place offered me free internet for a year. I said no. The woman was incredulous. “Free internet for a year and you’d still like to cancel?” Yes. Of course. That’s why I called. So she cancelled it.
I told my girlfriend about it and she was completely bamboozled by my decision as well.
I’m not motivated by money. I’m not interested in your service so fucking cancel it. You can throw in unlimited buttsex with your hottest employee and I’m still not interested.
There was another one where I signed up with some ISP that requires you to relinquish control of your bank account so that they can take as much money as they want out of it. Similar to a Direct Debit, which I never use, but even worse.
So I said fuck you. I’m not doing that. Nowhere in the signup process did they say any of this, by the way.
So I cancelled right away. They said, “Well, you still have six months on your contract. We’ll have to charge you for that.” Okay, we’ll see about that.
I made a complaint some “ombudsman”. This is an independent organisation that’s allowed to facilitate disputes between consumers and…various companies. They have them for banks, energy companies, or in this case ISPs. These ombsusmen typically give absolute pitances. You’ll get £50 for whatever the complaint is, no matter how serious.
So I wrote my case out and sent it to the ombudsman. I said that they have this completely deplorable payment system that they force you to use and this is a payment system that’s only used by such disreputable services as shady gym memberships. So I told them that I want to be released from my contract without penalty.
The ISP sent me a settlement offer of £200 and they said that they’d cancel my contract with no penalty. So fine, I’ll take it. It’s better than the £50 that I would have gotten.
God, I’ve made so many complaints to the ombudsman over the years. I probably made £1000 just from that shit. I’ve never lost a case. Almost all of my complaints were to the energy ombudsman. Because the energy companies are unbelieveably incompetent. There’s always something that you can complain about because they never seem to get anything right. So it’s an easy £50 every time.
One time, I even made a complain ABOUT the ombudsman and I got money for that. I had a complaint about my energy company and was successful. I got my £50 or whatever but part of the judgement was that this company had to show proof that they cancelled their debt collection. My complaint was about them sending my bill to collections when in fact there was no such bill ever sent to me.
They didn’t send this proof. So I sent a message to the ombudsman stating that they need to follow this up. In this message, I made a remark about how the energy companies behave this way because the ombudsman routinely awards risible £50 judgements against these companies.
So the guy responds, “I’m sorry to hear that you’re unhappy with the ombudsman. It’s your responsibility to follow this up.”
I don’t think so. So I made a complaint about that guy to the ombudsman and they acknowledged that that guy should have followed up, that it wasn’t my responsibility, that he’ll be re-trained, apologised, and offered £100 in compensation. Okay, I’ll take it.
It’s basically a bank for free £50 notes. If you want to take the time to prepare your “case”, which takes, whatever, an hour or so, you’ll get £50.
Speaking of banks, some woman at a bank was a bitch to me. I got for £50 for that. That was me complaining directly to the bank, though. I didn’t see a need to escalate that to the ombudsman.
Oh, and letting agents. I probably got £5,000 from complaints about letting agents over the years. It’s glorious. But that’s a whole other thing.
Where was I going with this? Oh, Pelvic Gamer. Yeah, keep up the good work. I’m going to jerk off to your thumbnail now.
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RetroGameCon Gave Me Explosive Diarrhea – John Riggs
John Riggs is at yet another nerd convention trying to pick up chicks, this time in Syracuse, New York.
2:00 – What the fuck is this? There’s a guy a red shirt, long hair, and overalls. Oh, presumably it’s some Mario costume. Mario if he was a gay nerd.
5:00 – Somebody is selling Somer Assault for $110. Unless my scumbag mother got rid of my stuff, which she may well have done, I should be sitting on a goldmine. I think I still have mine in the original box.
Then he shows some porn game and says that he has it.
5:45 – We get the “joke” of the video’s title. He finds a bootleg Atari game called Explosive Diarrhea.
You have to imagine that at John Riggs’ scale of obesity that diarrhea is a common problem, though. Right? Fat people have problems with diarrhea? Maybe I just made that up. Let me very tentatively look this up.
“Up to 8.5% of obese and 11.5% of severely obese individuals had chronic diarrhoea, compared to 4.5% of normal weight individuals.”
Okay, so I was right. I don’t have to continue my research into this fascinating topic.
8:30 – Some fat guy encourages his wife to show John Riggs the drawing that she, apparently, made of John Riggs.
You have to wonder about these women. Why would they agree to go to a nerd convention and entertain the childish obsessions of their manbaby husbands?
If it’s some fat chick, I get it. They’re taking what they can get. But this woman…it’s an average-looking woman in her 40s, I’d guess. I don’t know how old the guy is. Maybe he’s younger than she is. Maybe that’s the draw.
But is it really such a draw to go out with a younger guy who’s fat? “Here’s my 400 pound, 19 year old boyfriend.” What? Why? It’s hardly some kind of arm candy. Find a slim guy your own age.
9:00 – What is this? Some crack addict in a vest rooting through his bag of stuff.
11:15 – “I can’t tell you how amazing this game is: Prison City.” Then he tells you all of the platforms that it’s available on.
He…really seems to be promoting this. Isn’t this a game developed by Screenwave?
Yeah. Well, what a coincidence. John Riggs must have some relationship with Screenwave. This is just a stealth ad.
16:00 – We discover that Metal Jesus was with John Riggs this whole time. He was also seen, briefly, in the reflection of John Riggs’ Gameboy earlier in the video.
Why is this not mentioned? Why didn’t he start the video with, “Hey, I’m here with Metal Jesus”? It’s just bizarre.
17:30 – “You’ve seen the wrestling cruise, you’ve seen the Kiss cruise.”
What? No, I haven’t. Then he promotes some guy’s nerd convention cruise. Yeah, that sounds horrible.
They should bring back the Boob Cruise. I think that there were only two.
https://www.reddit.com/r/90sTits/comments/zqpyse/do_you_know_anyone_who_was_on_a_boob_cruise/
Basically, they got a bunch of big bust porn stars, put them on a boat, and you could have sex with them for money. Just a floating brothel. But from what I read, not all of them were offering this service.
20:00 – This annoying asshole again. The same shithead who was in John Riggs’ last video who was walking around with a megaphone yelling at people. Why is this allowed?
20:30 – Some fat old woman brought her cat to this thing. How embarrassing.
21:00 – Justin Silverman. So this confirms that that Prison City thing was an ad. John Riggs must get his ad deals through Screenwave or they’re doing something for him.
21:45 – John Riggs got another GOD AWFUL nerd tattoo on his other wrist. It’s some cutesy video game enemy. I don’t fucking know what it is. Why would anybody possibly do this? He’s throwing away any chance that he ever had of getting a desperate, purple-haired girlfriend.
John Riggs is such a great father, instead of blowing his money on video games and pussy-repelling tattoos, he should be saving his money for his son/daughter’s sex change surgery. He’s got two son/daughters. This isn’t going to be cheap. Forget about college. When you have a son/daughter, you have to be prepared to really shell out some cash.
I was watching an interview of some Thai ladyboys and they said that they got into prostitution because it was the only way to afford all of their surgeries. It’s true. It’s expensive. Let me very, very tentatively look this up.
https://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/31/health/transgender-costs-irpt/index.html
Over $124,000 to get female to male surgery. And that article is from 2015.
John Riggs is going to have to sell a whole lot of cereal books to afford this.
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Decap Attack on SEGA Genesis – Erin Plays
0:00 – “Why am I dressed like a mummy?”
Because you’re a dumb bitch and think that there’s such a thing as a “sexy mummy” costume.
And, as always, it’s so fucking zero-effort. This costume is half a step above wrapping yourself in toilet paper.
“Well, I’ve got myself all wrapped up into Sega Genesis games lately.”
She said this after an edit and it was STILL hard to figure out what she was saying. I had listen to it like five times.
But yeah, she’s a big Sega Genesis fan, guys. She’s been playing this shit all day, every day.
And looking at this costume, she wrapped every part of her torso except for that fucking god awful ice cream tattoo on her arm. Why? That should have been the first place that she covered.
Then we get to the gameplay. She’s CLEARLY playing this game for the first time in her life. Of course.
1:15 – God, I just can’t get over how bad this costume is. It might just be the worst fucking costume I’ve ever seen. Why would she wear THIS? Shishi wants SEXY Halloween costumes. She looks like a fucking hobo.
1:45 – She dies because she clearly had NO IDEA what was happening, never having played this before, and she says, “Sometimes it’s hard for me to play and explain things at the same time.”
It wouldn’t be if you had any experience whatsoever with this game. Why not just admit that you never played it before? After Erin’s last video where she just does this, I thought that we were making progress. But no. We’re back to the fucking lies.
2:00 – She repeatedly refers to a beanie with propeller on it as a “spinny hat.” What a fucking moron.
A lot of edits in this video. She’s editing out gameplay. Randomly. You don’t know what the fuck is going on. This is AWFUL.
She keeps complaining about things that you would pick up on during your second attempt at playing the game.
4:15 – “There we go. That only took, like, five minutes.”
She said this after she got stuck very early in level 2 and didn’t know where to go. But she edited out the five minutes of her bumbling around so…we didn’t see that.
“Oh wow. That was a short level. That felt very short.”
Why is it a surprise?
This is the fucking problem. Erin OBVIOUSLY has never played this game before. I get it. We all know this.
But there’s a cognitive dissonance because Erin repeatedly says that she has played the game before. So you watch the video and it’s uncomfortable. You can see that she obviously never played the game before but she keeps saying that she has.
You know what crazy Bobdunga would call this? “Gaslighting.” Stop gaslighting the audience, Erin. No amount of your lies will ever get me to believe that you played this game before. Apply this same lesson to every video you ever make. It’s all bullshit. We know that you don’t play video games and never have. JUST ADMIT IT. NOBODY CARES. The issue is the gaslighting.
4:45 – “I have no idea where I’m going.”
This statement makes perfect sense and isn’t remotely annoying if we assume, as is factual, that Erin has never played the game before.
But the rage comes in because Erin has already established that she has played the game before. And she’s repeating this lie throughout the the video.
So you’re watching the video and you’re thinking “wait a minute…how can she be lost on the third level when she keeps saying that she’s played the game before?” It’s an uncomfortable viewing experience.
5:30 – She’s at the boss. She was surprised that the boss appeared. And then she proceeded to engage in the worst boss fight of all time. She clearly had no idea how to beat this boss, having never seen him before, but worse that than, her “strategy” was to stand IN THE BOSS while doing nothing but taking damage. Tell me how that’s going to work. Show me one game where that’s the winning strategy.
And throughout all of this, she keeps reminding you that she’s played the game before. It’s constant fucking lies. And for what purpose?
6:00 – “Oh it starts you from the very beginning? That sucks.”
Somehow…oh fuck. It’s just the same argument every time. Anybody who played the game even ONE TIME would know that you restart at the beginning of the level. Erin doesn’t know this. And yet, throughout the video she talked about how she played the game before. How do we reconcile this?
8:00 – “Was that even the boss or was that the midboss, I guess? Oh, that was the boss. Okay, cool.”
I’m done. I can’t watch any more. It’s driving me insane. Why does she lie like this? What she’s saying cannot possibly be true. And yet she repeats this same lie in every fucking video. She pretends to be familiar with the game and then she demonstrates a complete lack of knowledge about ANYTHING in regards to the game.
And this time, to add to the madness, she’s doing it dressed as a HOBO.
- “Maybe one day Erin will have covered every 16-bit and 8-bit game in videos such as this. What a nice dream to have! 😊 I appreciate the effort with the mummy costume, and yes, I’m here for Erin’s commentary! This channel is always a cosy time.”
How? How is any of this true? How can anybody possibly enjoy the videos? How can anybody possibly enjoy the commentary? How can anybody possibly enjoy that costume? It’s like I’m on another planet. Fucking Retard Planet.
There’s a movie idea for old Newt. Planet of the Retards. Like Planet of the Apes but instead of highly-evolved apes taking over earth, it’s retards. This thing writes itself. Well, it’s already a movie. Just replace the apes with retards.
- “Great mummy cosplay Erin!”
- “I love your mummy costume!!! Very unexpected when I open the video, hehehe.”
How is it possible that anybody can believe that?
A lot of people in the comments say that this game is a re-skin of a Japanese game based on an anime. I guess that Erin “forgot” about that.
- “Wooo, oil rag custom? Very unique compared to past customs”
I guess “unique” is one way to put it.
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Erin’s Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/ErinPlaysVideoGames
I didn’t even know that this existed. But she’s been doing this from 2018 to May 2023. Her last post was promoting the video where she dressed up as Jessica Rabbit.
Every single post for nearly five years is just her promoting her latest Youtube video.
Why on earth would anybody “follow” this? It’s just an ad. “Go watch my video. Go watch my video. Go watch my video.” If people are interested in that, they’ll subscribe to your Youtube channel. Why would they go to your fucking Facebook?
On Facebook, she should have been giving people an insight into her life, her thoughts, whatever random observations she has. I would take ANYTHING. Give us something, Erin. Give us something so that the audience can get a better idea of who you are as a person.
No. Just “Here’s a video. Go watch it.” It’s completely insane.
The problem is she doesn’t do anything and she doesn’t have any thoughts or opinions. Her blog posts were horrible. HORRIBLE. “I like Mayor McCheese and I like this obscure band that nobody has ever heard of.”
By the way, on her Twitter, she never mentions these obscure bands that she raves about on her blog. It’s always the same mainstream 2000s pop bullshit. Britney Spears, Weezer, whatever. So those were just complete lies on that blog. I mean, it was a promotional blog so she was presumably given those bands to write about but still. No journalistic integrity.
Why not write about the times when you’re going to visit your parents? She goes twice a month. Tell us. Show some pictures from the airport. Some wacky airport food. Complain about the prices. Complain about delays. Give us ANYTHING to give some insight into your life. It’s just normal. It’s how you get people interested in you. It’s how you build an audience.
You don’t have to say anything controversial. You don’t have to tell us what you think of Trump. Tell us about what tv shows you’re watching now. Tell us about a movie you saw. Tell us what you ate for lunch. ANYTHING.
Erin doesn’t get it. Completely clueless. A total charisma vacuum.
https://www.facebook.com/jeff.monahan.944
That guy posted a lot of comments. He hasn’t posted in years but when he did post, it was always the same picture of him and his wife. He got a covid vaccine, he supported Joe Biden, and he supported the Special Olympics.
Good for him. With those three posts, as sparse in content as they were, I know more about that guy than I do Erin. There’s something clearly off with that guy, by the way. He seems to be able to write normally so I don’t think he’s retarded but…something isn’t right. Maybe it’s “just” autism.
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085034431262
Here’s another of Erin’s fans. Every single post is furry porn.
God, I don’t even want to link to any more. Let’s just say that there are a lot of old, fat, bearded men who post about Star Trek and may or may not be mentally challenged. This is her audience.
Then she just gave up on posting five months ago. These unbelievably low-effort posts that are just promoting her videos.
Why doesn’t she talk about music? “Here are my top five Britney Spears songs.” Anything.
She could just as well do this on Twitter but she doesn’t. Twitter is basically the same thing. All she does is promote her videos and there’s the added “bonus” of her re-tweeting somebody else’s shit about *nostalgia* from before she was born.
Oh, here’s something:
She must have been at her parents’ home recently. And she was going through a scrapbook that she made as a child. It’s a printed page from Yahoo about one of the Spice Girls.
So she was always boring. It’s just mindboggling. How is it possible. What is she doing all day? Is it literally nothing?
One of the few insights that we’ve got into her life is that she sleeps a lot (this is from Mike saying that sleeping is Erin’s favourite activity) and that she cries in the bathtub (she made some odd reference to Ernie the puppet crying in a bathtub, which suggested that she thinks that this is normal behaviour).
So…is that it? She sleeps 14 hours a day, cries in the bathtub, gets fucked in the ass for Youtube promotion, streams on Twitch, makes god awful Youtube videos, and eats? That’s her life? Oh, and visiting her parents twice a month.
It’s very peculiar. Her and Retro Ali should compare notes on who has the most boring Twitter.
Is Pam any better? Surely Pam gives her opinions on shit. Let me check.
No. I’m not seeing anything. It’s all just promotion. Why would I go to a Twitter that’s just you promoting your fucking videos? That’s what the “subscribe” feature on Youtube is for.
John Riggs surely uses his Twitter properly.
Yeah. I mean, I guess. There’s nothing interesting on here but he posts pictures of food and talks about trvial shit that he’s encountered recently. Everything isn’t “go to my Youtube page”, although he does that as well, of course.
It just seems like common sense to me . I can not imagine having a Twitter or a Facebook and the only fucking thing you put on it is “Go watch my video.” There is absolutely no point to this. Aren’t these women bored of this shit themselves? They never get the urge to express an opinion on something? There’s no opinion to be found in their empty heads.
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WTF Wednesday Review: Andy Milligans BLOOD (1973) – Newt Wallen
Why is that at 2,000 views already? That’s going viral by Newt’s standards. He usually gets about 200 views. Well, let’s find out.
He says that he initially reviewed this movie with PVC Bondage Guy but they were both drunk and talking over each other so he deemed the footage to be unwatchable.
0:45 – “Do you know anything about Andy Milligan?”
No. Please enlighten me, Ideas Man.
He’s a guy who made shitty movies about homosexuals. Oh. I can see the appeal for Newt.
Newt is always inspired by people who made shitty movies. How about drawing some inspiration from people who made good movies?
It’s just the same built-in excuse that James Rolfe uses. “Oh, my movie was bad because it was SUPPOSED to be bad.” Okay, so you’ve proven to the world that you can achieve that goal. That’s fine. Now how about trying to make a good movie?
They won’t do it. They won’t do it because they can’t make a good movie. None of these people can: James Rolfe, Newt, Tony. They’re all completely talentless. So they just wallow in this delusion that they’re making shit movies on purpose.
I’m four minutes in. He’s just summarising the fucking movie. Why is this at 2,000 views? I mean, I guess that a lot of his subscribers are gay so that might be a factor.
5:00 – Now he’s talking about tits and gore.
I don’t get it. Maybe it’s just Newt on different accounts going to this video.
I’m 12 minutes in. He’s just talking about porn. Tits and gore shit that nobody cares about.
I feel like I’ve been cheated. I thought 2,000 views, it’s ten times his usual number, maybe there’s something interesting in here. No. Same old bullshit that he does in every fucking video.
This was a total waste of my fucking time. It was just Newt Wallen talking about a homosexual degenerate who made shitty movies. Newt clearly identifies with this subhuman. So that’s the whole purpose of this video. It’s just about Newt. Everything is just about Newt in Newt’s world.
He’s going on about how shitty tits and gore movies are the one industry where you can make shit and people will remember you after you die. It’s about Newt. It’s about Newt’s obsession with death and hoping that people will remember his shitty movies after he dies. You know…there’s…ummm…that scene he shot with that old prostitute Fallon. And…a few scattered shots of Horseface for films that were never made. And his 325 Youtube videos where he talks about tits and gore.
Let’s see what Horseface is doing.
Uh huh. Horseface worked 90 hours this week. Tell me how that works, Horseface. What exactly does this “work” involve?
That would mean that she’s working seven days, nearly 13 hours a day. Then let’s conservatively say an hour a day to commute. An hour a day to get ready in the morning. That leaves 9 hours a day to do everything else she has to do. Eat, sleep, posting narcissistic bullshit on Twitter.
Does she expect us to believe this?
- “90 hours! wow amazing! What an accomplishment, the grind, the hustle, just wow! An inspiration!”
Well, that retard bought it.
https://twitter.com/rod_munctun
He posts almost exclusively about Star Trek and covid.
She’s been at “work” for 20 hours. DOING WHAT? People ask her this in every fucking self-absorbed post like this and she never replies. Does that look like “work” to anyone? Sitting in a leather chair and taking a selfie with your stupid horseface?
Here she is 62 hours into her “work” week pretending to be a cat in a box. Or a horse in a box. How is any of this “work”? What is the job?
She seems to have an enormous amount of time to take god awful pictures and post them on Twitter for retards.
She’s a real workhorse, I guess.
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Happy Days (1970s) – Monster Madness 2023 – Cinemassacre
Well, I’ll try it out, Jimmy but if this is another snooze-fest I’ll have to talk about This Ain’t Happy Days XXX.
0:30 – He says that the first 1970s Halloween special he thinks of is Halloween at Grinch Night. Or something. I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THIS!
He’s just mentioning various Halloween episodes of tv shows and then stating why they don’t fit his autistic definition of a Halloween episode. James…we don’t fucking care. We don’t care about your fucking self-imposed rules. We don’t care about your fucking choices. Just get on with it.
1:45 – He finally talks about Happy Days. “For anyone who might not be familiar, it’s just another one of those sitcoms.”
Great analysis, Jimmy. If it was so ordinary, why did it have an enduring legacy? Why do we all know Happy Days but nobody talks about Mayberry RFD? Or Chico and the Man? Actually, maybe people do know Chico and the Man but only because Freddie Prinze died during the run of the show.
But let’s look at the big sitcoms of the 1970s. Brady Bunch, Barney Miller, MASH, WKRP in Cincinnati, What’s Happening, Soap, Hogan’s Heroes, Good Times, All in the Family, Sanford & Son, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude. Are you telling me that Happy Days bears any resemblance to those shows?
“Oh, I can’t decide. Should I watch Hogan’s Heroes or Happy Days? They’re so similar. What does it matter?”
Fuck off, you special ed retard. You should have got Newt the intern to plagiarise this shit.
2:00 – “But this one’s kind of special because it takes place in the 50s and early 60s so it invokes a lot of *nostalgia*. Not that I lived back then but regardless, it brings you back to a simpler time.”
He’s so fucking stupid.
What made Happy Days unique to me as a kid is that I thought that the show was from the 1950s. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I figured out that the show was made in the 1970s. As a kid, I probably wouldn’t even have appreciated the concept of a show from the 1970s making a *nostalgia* show depicting the 1950s. It was all before my time. It could have been 100 years ago.
But no, 1950s *nostalgia* was popular in the 1970s. Numerous examples of this. Grease, American Graffiti, The Godfather, the start of oldies music stations.
This is how things go. *Nostalgia* is always 20 years in the past because the people who were 10 in a particular era are 30 now and they’re purchasing this shit. They want the *nostalgia* products.
2:45 – Now he’s finally talking about the episode. I just know he’s going to summarise this again. Why wouldn’t he? That’s what he did for the first one. Why change a “winning” formula?
5:15 – He actually explains the various names of the Fonzie character. I’m done, James. THIS IS AWFUL! UNWATCHABLE!
Summarising a fucking episode of Happy Days. You call this entertainment? This is an insult. This is a waste of everybody’s time.
So This Ain’t Happy Days XXX. I think that this was one of the early “This Ain’t (Whatever) XXX” movies that started in…I don’t know…the 2010s? Let me look this up.
It came out in 2009. Then it spawned a whole series of other movies which may or may not have been from the same studio.
But this Happy Days porn parody was remarkably faithful to the show. I mean, in terms of the set, anyway. It was impressive. It seemed to be one of the first reasonably big budget porn movies in many years.
The costumes were also great. Very authentic. Even the undergarments. The Mrs Cunningham character is wearing a pointy 1950s bra.
The writing was good as well. There was an amusing use of the Happy Days insult, “Sit on it.”
Raquel Devine as Mrs Cunningham was great. Missy Stone as Joanie…I guess that she looks like the character but it doesn’t do it for me. Richey gets his dick sucked by some random cheerleader played by the late Riley Evans. With condolences to her family, she doesn’t really do it for me either.
There were a couple of other scenes but I don’t remember them and I can’t find the video. All I can find are the inferior sequel called This Ain’t Happy Days: Fonzie Loves Pinkie.
The final scene with Mrs Cunningham and Fonzie is widely available, though. That’s the only scene that I ever watched more than once.
I remember reading a review of this movie and the guy was complaining that there wasn’t any incest. Instead of Richie getting it on with Joanie, he’s just fucking random cheerleader, for example.
I suppose that I see the point but this was probably a conscious decision. The movie was made by Hustler, so a respectable company at least as far as porn companies can be respectable.
Also interesting is that Mr Cunningham is an entirely non-sex role. Couldn’t they do something with him? I suppose there aren’t many female characters in Happy Days, which is why they had to bring in random cheerleaders. I think in the sequel Jenny Piccolo is getting fucked by somebody. I suppose that that could have been an option for Mr Cunningham.
What about Arnold? They could have done something with Arnold, either the Mr Miyagi version or the Encore Frozen Foods Pitchman version.
Ralph Malph and Potsie are both in a scene. They’re fucking Joanie.
Anyway, there were a bunch of other movies in this franchise. I think even Good Times got a porn treatment. Who wants to watch that? Florida getting it on with Mr Bookman or whatever.
I think that Jimmy’s next video is going to be about Alf. As far as I’m aware, there’s never been an Alf porn parody so I’m going to be in some real trouble. I can talk about Max Wright fucking those homeless crack addicts again, I guess.
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Halloween Haul 2023: A plethora of tchotchke items | Marshalls, Homegoods & TJMaxx – Super Retro Gal
Oh, Super Awkward Gal is back. Or at least she was, two months ago. I should probably subscribe to these people so that I know when they upload a new video. I’m not subscribed to anyone who I talk about. I don’t want their bullshit videos cluttering up my feed.
0:00 – She starts with her usual unbelievably awkward self. The camera is like two inches from her face. She’s wearing some…I don’t even know…headwrap. And she’s taking fettuccine alfredo from her refrigerator. You guys all like fettuccine alfredo right?
No, Super Awkward Gal. I don’t even know what the fuck it is. I know it’s pasta but beyond that, I don’t know. I’ve never said the words “fettuccine alfredo” in my life.
According to a quick DuckDuckGo-ing, it’s an American dish. Nothing to do with Italy. They’re not eating that shit in Italy.
She goes on to say that this fettuccine alfredo is two days old. Like she’s living on the edge here. Two days old? I think it’s still safe to eat after two days.
0:15 – Then she shows the fettuccine alfredo. The grand reveal. There’s like five noodles left. Most people would just throw this out. Not Super Awkward Gal.
I don’t know if she has an eating disorder or what but this is not normal behaviour. This is not something that people would eat as a meal. Five noodles?
1:30 – She’s going to start showing the Halloween “shenanigans” that she purchased.
“Wait a minute. Isn’t ‘shenanigans like…’mischief’?”
Yes. It is. But this fucking doofus is using it to describe items that she purchased.
So anyway, she’s going to show the items and her tits. Mostly her tits. She even repositioned herself because her tits weren’t showing enough in the first shot.
“I love Halloween. It’s the freaking best. That’s how I feel right now. I love Halloween.”
GET ON WITH IT! And I left out a whole bunch of other pointless waffling about how “capitalism” came back or some awkward, nonsensical bullshit.
“I’m in a mourning period of my life and sometimes you just overdo it on the holidays.”
What is she mourning? She killed “Pops” like last year.
2:15 – She claims that she doesn’t get trick or treaters because she lives in an area that’s “not so great.”
She was really eager to kill “Pops” and take this guy’s house. I think that she even mentioned how much the house was worth. It was a lot. But they live in a ghetto. Okay. If you say so.
Pomona. She says that she lives in Pomona. Let’s see what city-data.com has to say.
Well, the income and average price house are lower than California’s average. And 74.3% Hispanic. Well, we can probably stop here. She wasn’t lying. 7.7% white.
Higher crime rate than the US average.
Higher unemployent than California’s average.
2:45 – She bought a candy corn…decoration.
“Sound off in the comments. Do you like candy corn?”
Well, I guess. I’ve only had them at Halloween. Cheap houses would throw a few in your bag. Just loose. So you get the feeling that these are shitty candies but I liked them.
The pumpkin-shaped ones are better.
3:30 – She said that she bought a lot of “Chochsky” items. And she said this THREE TIMES. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE SAYING?
Then she shows a cat statue dressed as a mummy. That’s “Chochsky”, I guess. What is she saying? Chachi? Tchaikovsky? We’re just supposed to know.
“Oh, you guys all know what Chocsky is, right?”
“Fucking Scott Baio’s character on Happy Days? Yes, I guess. What does that have to do with a cat statue?”
4:45 – Now she’s showing a candy corn bowl.
She keeps claiming that everything is “stinking cute”. Oh my god is this fucking annoying. The fucking bowlderising bullshit from this cretin. “Hecking darn, look at my funbags while I make awkward commentary.” No thanks, Super Awkward Gal. I’m only doing this under duress. There is no fucking way that I would watch this video if I didn’t have this blog.
5:15 – Now she’s showing mugs, in a box, that are the same design as that candy corn bowl. And when she was showing that bowl, she kept talking about how much she likes 1950s and 1960s Halloween shit. So I thought, “Oh, she must have gone to an antiques shop too.”
No. That bowl that she bought was new. She got it from Marshall Fields or somewhere. So why the fuck was she going on about her fondness for 1950s and 1960s Halloween shit? Just more awkward bullshit from her.
And these mugs are ENORMOUS. You would clearly need two hands to drink from this. This is an example of why America is full of giant fucking fatasses. They’re drinking from mugs that require two hands.
I went looking for a suit in the US. I went all over town. Every suit shop. And I said I need a suit. I’ll take anything. They measured me and they said, “No, we don’t have anything in your size.”
I went to three shops. Three shops that sold nothing but suits. They had hundreds of them. Thousands. Didn’t sell suits in my size.
I’m not some sort of a freak. I was just slim. No suits in my size.
I finally found a place that had a suit. One suit. It was olive green. Oh fuck. I have to go with it. And they had to take it in considerably.
So then I come to the UK. And I get a job that requires a suit. And I’m thinking, “Oh fuck. I’m going to have something made because they don’t make suits in my size. This is going to cost a fortune.”
No. They sell them. No problem. You walk in, get something off the rack, boom. You’re done. Fits perfectly. No alterations needed.
And they sell suits in smaller sizes. It’s not a problem.
But because there are so many giant fatasses in the US, they don’t even sell suits to cater to slim men. There are so few slim men that the market doesn’t exist.
And I was buying that suit 20 years ago. How much worse has the obesity problem in the US gotten? They’re probably turning away Tony from Hack the Movies nowadays. “Sorry, you’re just too slim. All we have is this olive green suit.”
6:00 – She’s talking about how she didn’t decorate for Halloween last year, “Because I was severely depressed. I lost not only Pops but also my dog.”
Vile. She equates Pops dying to her DOG dying. And by the way, she killed “Pops”. I don’t know if she killed the dog or not.
There was some story that I heard that members of the SS were given dogs and then at the end of their training, they were required to kill the dogs. But could this possibly be true? It just sounds like cartoonish super-villainy. Why would they do that? What’s gained from that? Let me look this up.
Everybody on the internet seems to confirm that the story is bullshit.
6:00 – “So this year I’m decorating whether my mental health likes it or not. So suck it, mental health.”
Fuck off. And stop killing elderly relatives of your husband.
6:15 – A snake candleholder.
She says the word “sliterthing” five times. As in “I’m a slithering.” What the fuck is she talking about? Again, we’re just supposed to know. We’re supposed to know what this made up bullshit that only makes sense to her means.
7:30 – She starts tearing up about some Harry Potter play that she saw at Disneyland. Or something. What the fuck is going on?
8:00 – “Dragon skeleton head”. Or “skull” as the rest of the English-speaking world would say.
8:45 – She’s still talking about “slithering”. It’s something to do with Harry Potter, I guess? I’m spelling it wrong, I think. She put some weird graphics up about a slithering dating site? I mean…what in the fuck is any of this? SHUT UP. STOP THE VIDEO. GO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP.
By the way, somebody, mentioning no names, has apparently taken control of Super Pixel Girl’s old LinkTree. You know how Super Pixel Girl will regularly create new names to try to stay ahead of her invisible enemies? Well, it turns out that when you delete your LinkTree, that name becomes available for anyone to register.
So some unknown person has taken the liberty of registering Super Pixel Girl’s old LinkTree. As here:
That’s weird enough. But then this mystery person decided to link the blog on that LinkTree. There are a lot of nuts out there.
8:45 – Martha Stewart double-ended dildo. Well, it’s the first interesting item, I guess.
Oh. They’re…what? Some kind of bone-shaped candle? Maybe? She doesn’t fucking explain anything, of course. She just says that they’re “so stinking cute”. Yeah. We get that. We get that part. Everything is “stinking cute”. But what the fuck is any of this? That’s the part that needs clarification.
9:15 – A can of something. She doesn’t say what any of this fucking shit is. I had to pause the video. It’s some novelty can of beer, I guess. I don’t know. Is this real? Nobody fucking knows.
9:30 – Now she’s showing a ghost plant.
Now a pumpking with a cat. I mean…this is the world’s worst video. It screams mental illness. All of this does.
“I’m not a pastel-y person.”
Fuck off. I’m done with this shit. When the “sticking cute” colour talk starts, that’s my limit.
So that’s the video. It was…shit. She shows some cheap, useless tat that she bought. And this is somebody who’s really concerned about the environment. All of this shit will be in a landfill within 12 months. And it won’t biograde for 10,000 years.