-
Godzilla Minus One (2023) Review – Cinemassacre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xubEPzbUUms
For some reason it says that I couldn’t embed the video. Maybe it’s because the site has been down a lot the past couple of days. Erin is trying to hack in.
0:00 – So we’ve got James Rolfe in front of a greenscreen, of course. He’s greenscreened his “nerd room”. You know, instead of actually just filming there.
0:30 – “How can I adequately describe how good this is?”
Well, you can collect your thoughts and write a decent review. Have you considered that?
1:00 – James says that only Japanese people can create good Japanese movies. Pretty racist.
There are Chinese restaurants in the UK that are owned and staffed by white British people. And you think, “This can’t good.” But why not? Who’s to say that these people haven’t been cooking Chinese food for years?
If you saw a Chinese person working in a hamburger place, you wouldn’t say, “This is going to be shit.” But for “ethnic” food, it probably is common, albeit wrong, to expect people from that ethnicity to be cooking it.
Sure, James Rolfe can’t make a good Godzilla movie. He couldn’t even make a good AVGN movie. But I’m sure that there are plenty of talented American writers and directors out there who could make a great Godzilla movie. And on the other hand, there are plenty of Japanese writers and directors who would make a complete piece of shit Godzilla movie.
So don’t bring your racism here, James Rolfe. The guy shits his pants over 80 year old Three Stooges shorts but is perfectly content to tell you that Japanese people are inherently better at making Godzilla movies than non-Japanese people.
5:00 – James Rolfe doesn’t like that the people are formulating a plan to fight Godzilla over the course of several days. He specifically cites a dinner scene as being unrealistic because you wouldn’t have time to eat.
What? What is he suggesting? People work flat out, for days, with no eating or sleeping?
Then he gives his idea on how to improve this. He imagines a scene where people are starting the meeting and then suddenly Godzilla appears and kills everyone. He suggests that this would be great.
Uh huh. This is why those talented Japanese guys are making Godzilla movies and why you’re sitting in front of a green screen talking special education bullshit.
9:00 – He ends the video by saying, “I’m going to get back to work on nerd.”
Uh huh. Sure you are. Give that faggot from Movie Dumpster who writes the scripts my regards.
So anyway, James enjoyed the movie. Great.
I haven’t seen it. I don’t plan on seeing it. I saw Cloverfied years ago. That was okay. I’d catch the old Godzilla movies when they were on tv, as a kid. I don’t remember much about them.
So where are we going with this? Japan? Wacky Japanese porn.
Oh, I’ll tell you. Many years ago, there was some website that had wacky Japanese porn on it. I don’t know if it was a blog or what. But it was very difficult to download stuff from there. I can’t remember why. They made it intentionally difficult if you weren’t paying.
But there was one video that really spoke to me that I wanted to get: Zenra Nude Volleyball. I still have the video. It’s fucking two hours. Must have been a DVD rip.
There’s no sex. It’s just middle aged Japanese women doing warm up exercises, like I guess they do in Japanese schools, and then they play some strip volleyball.
The volleyball skills of these women is actually decent and they seem genuinely competitive. This really adds to the video.
Somewhat off-topic, I used to watch something called Danube Women Wrestling. This was back in Kazaa days. Around the same time as this volleyball video, probably. And it would be women doing oil wrestling or whatever. But semi-competitive.
I found it disappointing because although it wasn’t as obviously fake as a lot of the “cat fight” videos where the one woman sits on the other woman’s face and makes her lick her pussy and whatnot, it was still clearly not a shoot.
Why can’t somebody make genuinely competetive videos? Just give the women an incentive. The winner gets $500 and the loser gets $100. Something like this. I’m sure that there are regulations against this in the US. A genuine sporting competition requires some kind of sanction, whatever. But these Danube videos were made in Eastern Europe, I think. Anything goes, surely.
Back to this volleyball video. Most of the women are just average or even below-average looking Japanese women. But there’s one kind of chubby woman with huge breasts. By Japanese standards, anyway. She becomes the star of this thing. The other women are cupping her tits and she’s jumping up and down and whatnot.
It adds a much needed psychological component to the movie. I don’t know the plot or anything. I don’t speak Japanese and there aren’t any English subtitles. But from what I gather, the other women are jealous of this woman’s big tits. Here I am getting naked and playing volleyball for ¥20,000 or whatever, but this big titted slut is getting all the screen time. It’s an injustice.
So yeah, James Rolfe is recommending Godzilla Minus One and I’m recommending another great Japanese film: Zenra Nude Volleyball.
-
Thanksgiving with PVC Bondage Guy
1:00 – Newt asks PVC Bondage Guy how her Thanksgiving was. PVC Bondage Guy says that she worked. “I always volunteer to work holidays because a) I know nobody else wants to and I get time and a half; and b) then I have an excuse not to see my parents.”
PVC Bondage Guy goes on to say that she saw her father twice this month, which is apparently a lot for her. I assume that he lives nearby and she just doesn’t want to spend time with him.
She says that her father tried to guilt her into visiting for Thanksgiving because her step-mother’s father will be there and he’s getting on in years.
I’ve been there. Every fucking year. Every year my mother reminds me of her age and that I should come visit for Christmas. Yeah. I know your age. I know that you probably won’t be around for much longer. I’m content with never seeing you again.
My mother is a horrible, disgusting person. But I’ve tried so many times to just leave things in the past, try to move on, give her another chance, and she continues the horrible, disgusting behaviour.
At some point you give up.
Let’s get back to PVC Bondage Guy.
She didn’t have time to visit her mother but her mother gave her some leftovers. Great.
It’s a fairly wholesome story. I mean, obviously PVC Bondage guy has a lot of problems. And her family does. Because PVC Bondage Guy is nuts. Her brother, from what little I know, is quite possibly even more mentally ill. This doesn’t happen for no reason. Some deeply weird shit must have been going on.
Her father was/is a vetererinarian. He has a college degree. Presumably, he went to some veterinarian school after college. He’s an educated guy.
And yet his children…I’d be surprised if they finished high school. PVC Bondage Guy is working in a bowling alley. She’s doing porn. This isn’t typically what happens. Well-educated parents tend to have well-educated children. If that’s not the case, something seriously fucked up.
So she doesn’t want to talk to them. I’m sure it’s justified.
-
Tiny Toon Adventures NES Video Games – Irate Gamer
Wow. This was posted over a month ago. Time really flies when you’re not paying attention to this trash. So let’s see if he can top “boner biting dogs”.
0:00 – “As you know, the Tiny Toons reboot show has returned to tv.”
What? No. I didn’t know that. I’m not keeping up with 1990s children’s cartoon reboots.
0:15 – He sings the Tiny Toons theme song but replaces the words with “I’m the Irate Gamer” and so on. And it’s so fucking embarrassing that I don’t even want to talk about it. So let’s move on.
Let me look this reboot up first.
Middling reviews.
Oh, there was also an Animaniacs reboot that got middling to good reviews.
I’m not interested in any of this shit. I wasn’t interested when I was a kid in the 1990s. I watched the early seasons but how old was I? Oh, like 7th and 8th grade for Tiny Toons. Yeah, I was getting too old for that shit. And Animaniacs was later. I remember being in like the 11th grade and hearing some 9th grade girls talking about it and thinking, “This is embarrassing. They’re too old for this.”
Now, Chris BORES is a couple of years older than I am. So he must have been in high school and watching this shit. I was watching in the 7th and 8th grade, and was embarrassed then, and I was a pretty childish kid. I played with toys for a long time. Shit like this.
Chris BORES was watching Tiny Toons in high school? He wants to admit that?
1:00 – But first a word from our sponsors: my own shitty blu-ray.
According to the screenshot, only 84 people have pledged money but he’s raised $7,669. How? These retards have deep pockets.
1:30 – “I used to love renting this game back in the day.”
AS A TENTH GRADER? Let me look this up. Maybe I got his age wrong.
Well, apparently he’s about my age. I could swear that he was a couple of years older. Oh, I was thinking of John Riggs.
2:00 – I don’t remember anything that he’s describing, by the way. I don’t remember any of the characters. I couldn’t have been watching the show that much.
2:15 – He basically says that the game is good but he’s going to shit on it anyway just because that’s his thing. Or James Rolfe’s thing, at least. So he proceeds to make really petty criticisms of the game. “Boy, look at this jumping animation. It sure is stupid, right.” Uh huh.
3:00 – He describes a character in the game as being as useful as “Turding in a blender.” Oh. I see. So not very useful, I guess. Like…turding in a blender.
It doesn’t even make fucking sense. It’s too stupid to even get into. But your similes or metaphors or whatever have to, at a minimum, make GRAMMATICAL sense. Then, ideally, you want them to make LOGICAL sense. There is NOBODY who is “turding” in a blender. There’s no circumstance where that would ever achieve anything.
Let’s look at some actual similes that describe useless things. “Screen door on a submarine.” Boy, you’re right. A screen door on a submarine wouldn’t be very useful. It would let the water in. You don’t want water in a submarine. Makes sense.
“Turding in a blender.” Explain it to me, Chris BORES. How does that expression work AT ALL? Fucking faggot just wants to talk about asses and poop and dicks and dogs chewing on dicks.
3:15 – “What a bonafide, grade-A turd burger.”
Again with the turds. Does anyone even say “turds” any more? Did they ever?
4:45 – Chris BORES is complaining because…hold on. I have to unpack this.
He says that the game is good. And that’s a bad thing. It’s a bad thing because it’s only good because it stole gameplay elements from other games.
But not one minute earlier, Chris BORES suggested that the game should have been more like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He says that you should have been able to swap out characters on the fly, to make the game easier. Chris BORES is really concerned that this game for children is too difficult.
So…this is what happens when you like a game and are just saying that you don’t like it for the purposes of some shitty Youtube video. You end up saying shit that doesn’t make sense, shit that contradicts the other nonsensical shit that you said, and talking about poop and bestiality.
5:45 – Acting so terrible and embrarrassing that I don’t even want to talk about it.
6:00 – “Well, shit in my pancake batter.”
He just says it for no reason. “Turding in a blender” and now defecating in pancake batter. Is this funny to anyone? A 45 year old man talking about defecating in various things that you should’t defecate in?
“Well, poop on my….sunglasses.”
“Drop a steaming load on my…vintage typewriter.”
None of this is funny. It doesn’t make fucking sense.
6:15 – “Throw a gorilla faeces at the wall to see what Rorschach-like paintings materialise from all of that dripping poo water.”
First of all, I don’t believe that gorilla faeces is particularly viscous. They’re vegetarians. But secondly, this is fucking retarded. It’s certainly not funny. It’s not clever. But most of all, as per usual with this moron, it makes no fucking sense.
6:45 – Chris BORES can’t figure out why the sequel to the game takes place in an amusement park. Because it’s a typical place where video games, particularly for children, are set? Then there’s just a montage of Chris BORES dying because he’s bad at the game. This is stupid. It’s not a failing of the game, it’s a failing on your part.
7:15 – “I guess that this is one light between those butt cracks.”
Once again, he says it for no reason and it makes NO FUCKING SENSE. He just wants to talk about butt cracks. And can’t even do so in a coherent fashion. Because he’s a) gay, and b) retarded.
7:45 – “When it comes to the second Tiny Toons Adventures game, why didn’t they make it like the first game? Because that would have made it a homerun.”
BECAUSE THEY TRIED SOMETHING DIFFERENT, YOU MORON. And he just went on about how fucking shit it is when games steal concepts from other games. So he complains about how the first game was ripping off Super Mario Bros and whatnot and then says that the sequel should be just like the first game. It should be a rip off of this rip off game.
Has he thought any of this out at all? If you’re going to criticise a game, it has to be consistent and it has to make sense. He can’t achieve this. His mind is just full of competing homoerotic imagery. It clouds his senses. So you get this stream of consciousness bullshit that makes no sense and it’s interspliced with totally random references to butts and poop and penises. See a psychiatrist and get a boyfriend.
8:00 – He’s now talking about a game that lets you make little animated cartoons. And he says, “Does this even qualify as a game?”
No. No, it doesn’t, Chris BORES. Don’t you get it? It’s software to let you make little cartoons. I mean…this guy is a fucking retard.
So he’s mashing the buttons, pretending to “play” the “game”, and he has a bored expression. It just boggles the mind. He’s actually going to “review” this thing as though it’s a game. I don’t know how any human being can be this stupid. We’re now at animal levels of intelligence.
9:00 – Now he’s playing the Super Nintendo game and he sucks ass at it so…that means that the game sucks. At least in his warped mind.
10:00 – He’s playing the Game Boy game and he says that it’s good because it’s like the first NES game. That means that it’s a side-scroller. Then he says that you can switch out the characters. This is something he complained about with the first game. Then he says, “Come, you asshole. Thanks for raping my childhood yet again.”
Anyone want to explain this? It’s grammatically incorrect, of course. At least I think it is. I don’t know what he’s trying to convey. This Game Boy game, that he’s never talked about before, “raped” his “childhood” “yet again”. When did it do it the first time? What does that phrase even mean?
10:45 – Then, for reasons that nobody on earth can explain, he suddenly takes that first NES game and throws it into a rainbow-coloured anus, effectively. Then Chris BORES appears in the rainbow-coloured anus and says, “And that’s a wrap.”
That’s how the video ends.
The whole video was nonsensical, unfunny, stupid bullshit. This is what he does. These are his videos.
- “Annoys me that you are not as big as you should be , I had hours of fun watching your old videos they are classics and up there with avgn early stuff too”
Chris BORES replies, “Me too. I pissed the YouTube brass off in 2012 because I wouldnt sell out and nothing was ever the same. One day I’ll talk about it.”
He’s done this conspiracy theory nonsense for a long time. He’s mentally ill. You see it in the videos. He can’t even create anything coherent. The videos scream mental illness.
-
Plagiarism and You(Tube) – Newt Wallen
Four hours of some gay English guy droning on? No thanks. But helpfully, he time-stamps the Newt Wallen section: 27:45.
30:30 – After a few minutes of the usual homosexual complaints about Screenwave, we get the first reference to Newt Wallen. It’s about his tweet where he said he was going to write 20 scripts for Monster Madness.
31:00 – 9/11 reference.
31:30 – They out the homosexual guy on Reddit who discovered the plagiariasm.
32:45 – The fag in the video keeps referring to the woman who wrote the 28 Days Later review as “doctor” and “professor”. Go fuck yourself.
33:15 – Shout out to the unnamed intern.
36:00 – “Soon it became clear that almost everything Newt did and said was copied.” And there’s a reference to that AVGN roast where Newt delivers some stolen jokes.
37:45 – James Rolfe’s “I apologise but I didn’t do it” video.
So that’s the video. That portion, anyway. It was nothing interesting. Nothing new was discussed. It was the same shit but maybe that’s just because I go to that homosexual sub-reddit. If you don’t go there, it’s a fine summary of events.
- I don’t think I’ve ever seen a channel go down in flames like Illuminaughtii, and I used to watch it. She had so many people eating out of the palm of her hand Also, i’m sure Newt Wallen was pretty close to becoming the George Santos of ghostwriting”
After spinning my scroll wheel about 500 times and searching for “newt”, that’s the only comment I could find.
So what am I going to do? This video was a total dud. Well, just call it an early day. I have a lot of people to report Newt to. It’s my full-time job now.
-
XXX-MAS Philly Premiere – Newt Wallen
0:00 – He’s talking about some comic book called Koni Waves or something, that a friend or “friend” of his made. He talks about a crowd funding tier for this that included a script that Newt wrote. What an incentive. You can read some poorly-spelled, poorly-written, probably plagiarised tits and gore script from Newt.
1:15 – Newt boasts that he shat out this script in two days.
3:15 – He finally starts talking about XXX-Mas. What a showman. He was leaving me in suspense.
It’s “premiering” in a cinema that he works at.
I’m starting to zone out. I’m five minutes in.
6:00 – Shout out to that crack addict prostitute who Newt pays for.
7:30 – Newt is in this piece of shit “movie”. He plays a cameraman for porn movies. He says that he didn’t want to read the script, he only read his lines.
He goes on to say that…he ad-libbed everything. So…this is a disaster. He has no idea what the movie is about and he’s just ad-libbing everything.
This seems to be what all of the “movies” that Newt has some involvement with are like. They have some shit script but then don’t bother following it. On the day of the shoot it’s just, “Hey, say whatever.” Why even have the script then?
And you know it’s going to be shit. These aren’t professional actors. Even if they were, it’s a rare ability to be able to ad-lib something halfway decent. They’re ad-libbing an entire fucking movie? These fucking dopes with no talent? Whores and plagiarists? Is this what you want to see? There’s your marketing angle: ad-libbing whores and plagiarists.
8:15 – He has a death scene and suggests that the faggots on Reddit would enjoy it.
9:30 – Newt says that he’s going MC the “event” and PVC Bondage Guy will be there. He’s hyping where to get the tickets and whatnot. They’re $10 and only available on some website. You can’t buy them at the door. Why the fuck not?
But anyway, this is all a big selling point. Come see Newt and PVC Bondage Guy.
11:00 – Newt says that “internet trolls” from Reddit were reporting this movie to the city council as pornography. Newt is outraged by this. How dare these “trolls” report a movie called XXX-Mas as pornography? This movie that stars actual whores?
How does he know that they were from Reddit? It sounds like concerned citizens.
So Newt had a meeting with the city council and the mayor and explained that it’s not porn but there are “boobs and butts” in it.
Imagine this meeting. Newt Wallen with the city fathers explaining tits and gore to them.
Is it possible for a mayor to ban somebody from their town? I bet that the mayor was checking the statutes after that meeting just to make sure. “I want this fucking cretin out of my town.”
11:30 – “Then I have to go down this fucking rabbit hole and explain to these professional, older people, ‘Okay, so there’s this thing called Cinemassacre and there’s this thing called Monster Mania (sic), and I used to work for this company and do this thing. And there’s this Reddit group. Then there’s this crazy guy in England who used to write a blog about me every day.’”
Why on earth would he explain all of that? They’re just wanting to know if XXX-Mas is a porn movie. And from the way he described it, it sounds like a porn movie. Focus on that. You don’t have to talk about Reddit and blogs.
Oh, I see. He’s blaming Reddit and me for reporting this. Newt, get it through your thick skull that I’m not fucking reporting you to the mayor. I don’t care about any of this.
12:00 – Then Newt suggests that I should get a hobby. I have one. Talking about you. But for the 100th time, I am not involving local authorities in any of this.
12:30 – Newt says that he was concerned that he was going to affect the prosperity of this “movie” with this meeting with the mayor. He says that he was afraid that he was going to get labelled a “smut peddler”. You know…for this “movie” called XXX-Mas starring actual whores.
15:00 – Newt says that he want to explore more acting roles.
Then Newt ends this video with a disgusting sexual half-joke.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go work on my list of people to report Newt to. There’s the mayor, the city council, everyone who owns a cinema in the state of Pennsylvania, The Writers Guild of America, Jessica Chastain, The Pennsylvania Psychiatric Society, and Gayguru dot coach.
-
Is Mulan the Worst Game Boy Game EVER? – Erin Plays
A return to the simple joys of Erin Plays. This parasitic woman has really enriched my life. What would I be doing with my time if it weren’t for Erin?
I used to go to a message board. A pink message board, as it happens. I’d talk to the people there. This was a message board that I went to since like 1998. And I went there up until, well, up until I started with the homosexuals on Reddit five years ago or whatever.
That message board used to be teeming with people. And I’d go there and say, “Hey, this band sucks”. And they’d say, “Boo. No, you suck. Americans are all doody heads.”
But as I got older, I became less antagonistic. I got to know the people who posted there. A lot of people enjoyed me posting there. Some of them didn’t. I stole focus from the subject of the website. I understand, I guess. People went there wanting to talk about the band but really how much is there to talk about? It’s a community. People would talk to and about each other. I didn’t even know or like the band.
As the years went on, people stopped going there. By 2015, the forum was absolutely ancient. The very concept of a forum was ancient. It became a core group of just about three of us. Then it was basically just two. Then it was basically just me talking to myself.
The guy who owned the website wanted to close it. So I took the website over. I paid for hosting and whatnot.
Then covid happened. And I said fuck it, I’m not paying for this. I had the world’s most expensive hosting provider and didn’t want to bother changing. And it was just me posting there, really. Ocassionally, somebody would stop by to say, “You’re still posting here?” or give an update on their lives or whatever.
So I started the blog. When I created it, I chose the same colour of pink as the message board was. And it basically fulfills the same function. I can talk about whatever and people can comment. Unmoderated. That was another thing I liked about that forum. There were no moderators.
It all worked out then. And it’s all thanks to the charisma blackhole, the total fraud, the woman who is wasting every single second of her life: Miss Erin Plays.
So is Mulan the worst Game Boy game ever? No, of course not, you silly woman. It’s probably not even in the top 50. But you want to churn out another god awful, ignorant-as-fuck video to get a few pennies from horntards. God bless your extremely poor decision-making abilities.
0:00 – She compares the game to Hercules on Game Boy, a game that she played one for a Youtube video. She even helpfully links to the video.
We’re off to the races, Erin. Inspire me with your complete lack of knowledge about video games.
“This is going to be my first experience playing Mulan on Game Boy.”
I like that she’s started admitting this after YEARS of me asking her to do this. Has it affected her channel at all? No. It’s as dead as it ever was.
“Look at that sprite.”
That’s a not a sprite. She doesn’t know what a sprite is. Or is it that I don’t know what a sprite is? A sprite is like Mario in the game where you can make him run or jump or whatever. Or the bushes in Super Mario Bros that have that two frame animation or whatever. A sprite is not a static image, though. Because that’s what she’s looking at. She’s looking at a static title screen. Am I wrong? Let me look this up.
“In computer graphics, a sprite is a two-dimensional bitmap that is integrated into a larger scene, most often in a 2D video game. Originally, the term sprite referred to fixed-sized objects composited together, by hardware, with a background. Use of the term has since become more general.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sprite_(computer_graphics)
Ummm…so I don’t know. But I think I’m right.
0:45 – She dies almost immediately. On the training level.
1:15 – Then she dies again. Same spot. “I don’t understand.”
This is some good stuff. This is entertainment. Who needs Hollywood and their billion dollar blockbusters when you have a woman knocking on 40 stumbling through an old video game that nobody, least of all her, gives a shit about.
2:15 – You have to throw…throwing stars or something at these target boards. And these boards pop up if you don’t run past them quickly enough, forcing you to throw a star at them again. Erin absolutely can not do this. It’s unbelievable. She’s stuck on the TRAINING level.
4:30 – She compares the game to Hercules again. After having played it for about four minutes. And she played Hercules for probably about the same length of time. She’s a real expert, this Erin Play. Her opinions on video games are totally valid and informative.
6:30 – After stumbling through a rope-climbing area, Erin once against meets her most fearsome foe: stationary wooden targets.
7:45 – The game has like Prince of Persia type controls. Erin doesn’t know this. Erin doesn’t know what Prince of Persia. Erin doesn’t know what day it is. Where she’s at. Life is just a blur for Erin. But she’s at a section where you have to jump from a certain point to land on some logs. Erin says “What are you supposed to do here?” after she repeatedly jumped in the same incorrect spot.
8:30 – Erin is perplexed at a character performing kung fu. “Look at his arms, he’s just like” and then she demonstrates a “funny” and/or “cute”…I don’t even know…flailing of her arms. No. It’s kung fu, Erin. Don’t you get it? This thing takes place in China. The guy was shirtless and Chinese. All the clues were there. This is a kung fu master. But fucking retard Erin thinks it was just some guy waving his arms around.
Then she ends the video. She didn’t even get past the TRAINING level. But she still sees fit to proffer an opinion on this game. She again compares the game to Hercules, saying that it’s “Been a while since I’ve played it.” Yeah. Not since you made the Youtube video. Just be honest. Nobody gives a shit.
So she compares this game, that she barely played, to another game that she barely played. And we’re supposed to find this somehow informative. We’re suposed to give a shit about her transparently worthless opinion.
Another shockingly awful video to add to the Erin Plays library. Let’s check out the comments.
- “That picture of Mulan on the intro screen wasnt a sprite Erin, cmon youre better than that.”
She really isn’t. And you should know that.
A lot of horntards commenting on her top. She wore a tight top. We’re supposed to be jerking off to this, I guess. It seems that some people are.
- “Erin, you ever play Snow Bros on the Gameboy?”
What do you fucking think, retard? Have you seen the video? Then no. I don’t get these people.
-
My Final Class in High School
From the summer after 8th grade to my final year in college, I always took classes in the summer. Not because I was dedicated but because I was a poor student. I failed classes.
So I was two credits short from graduating. If you were one or two credits short, they still let you go to the graduation ceremony but you were expected to go to summer school afterwards to make up for your missing credits. And I guess that I was two credits short so I had to take a math and an English class.
I don’t know how vigorously this was enforced. Because I’m pretty sure that I got the diploma during the graduation ceremony. And I was already accepted into a college. What if I just didn’t go to that summer school? Would anything have happened? Would the school have told the college? Would have the college have even cared? I think that they let people in who didn’t finish high school.
I know that high schools make threats that if you don’t do well in your final semester at high school, the college might rescind their offer. But has that ever happened? There’s no fucking way.
So anyway, after I “graduated” and before I started college, I had to do these two classes in summer school.
Summer school was always a joke. It’s like six weeks. I think that the classes were like two hours, so twice as long as a normal class, but still it’s six weeks. And the most you could take was two classes.
It wasn’t in my normal high school. Every year, summer school would be held in a different high school in the district. So for this particular year, it was in some fucking ghetto school that was like 90% black during the normal year but because summer school was a mix of kids from all of the schools, it was more diverse.
I think that I’ve talked about the English class before. It was some fucking giant creep who was retiring that year. He had an exercise where we had to look into a cardboard box that had all kinds of wacky shit in it (doll’s head, pencil with an eraser on each end, shit like this) and covering the bottom of the box was a Playboy centerfold. Fully nude but this was from an old Playboy from probably the 1960s so she was “tastefully” posed.
We were instructed to approach this box in groups, one group at a time, and look into this box for 60 seconds. We were repeatedly told not to say anything when we look at the box. Just look at it and try to remember everything in the box.
So my group goes there and some Mexican guy I was with says, “Whoa!” when he sees the centerfold. The teacher screams at him not to say anything.
It was some weird fucking fetish for this guy. Force a group of high school kids to look at this old Playboy centerfold in silence.
Then afterwards, we had to say to our groups what we saw. And he walked around and listened in on the conversations. My group didn’t have any conversation, we just wrote down what we saw on the Mexican guy was preparing the master list. The teacher didn’t like this and told him that he’s not a secretary, we have to discuss what we saw.
This was all part of the fetish. This creepy teacher wanted us to talk about this nude woman.
Then afterwards, he says that he overheard one group talking about this centerfold and an argument broke out. Somebody in the group said that there was a Playboy centerfold in the box and one of the girls in the group said, “No, he wouldn’t do that.” This teacher found it really amusing that the girl thought that he wouldn’t do that.
He was a creep. Another time, he told a story about how he overheard some students who were traumatised by going into a strip club and seeing a former classmate of their working there.
Anyway, he’s dead now. He has to be.
The other class was a math class. Actually, now that I think of it, that English class was after my 11th grade year. Not 12th grade. For 12th grade, I only had to take one class. It was this math class.
It was the usual group of…let’s just say academically-challenged students who go to summer school. It was a fairly young teacher. It was a guy. Did I even have any women math teachers in high school? I don’t think so.
It was maybe a third black, a third Hispanic, and a third white. I never had any problems, which always surprises me looking back. I never really had any problems ever in high school with “bullies” or whatnot. Which is weird because I was really withdrawn and didn’t have friends. I would talk to people a little in school if I had a class with them but we weren’t hanging out after school or anything. People thought that I was a cool guy and all but…it was just such a waste. So many missed opportunities to develop friendships and get stuff going with the ladies.
Anyway, this math class. There were a couple of black girls who were friends or something. And I knew this Mexican guy who went to the same school as me. So we sat together, the four of us. I didn’t really talk to them but this was my group. And one day this Mexican guy is telling one of these black girls to show him her tits. Something like that. I wasn’t really paying attention. And then she pulled her top down and showed him.
I don’t know what she showed. I wasn’t really paying attention. Maybe it was just her bra. But this Mexican guy was freaking out and the girl was laughing and saying, “Well, you told me to show.”
Another time, this same girl was talking about her relationships. Something like “Yo, yo, yo. Niggas be movin’ from one bitch to another. Like ‘this pussy’s used up, I’m moving on to the next.’” And again, this Mexican guy couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
It’s not a direct quote but she did say, “This pussy’s used up, I’m moving on”. I remember that part.
I was with a different group for this next inappropriate story. There were two girls, one was Mexican, the other was white. Neither were lookers. And there was a white guy. And this guy starts talking about porn and the girls are giggling. He’s complaining about how on the Spice channel they never show the woman fellating the guy. They’ll cut away or her hair will be in the way or whatever. And the girls are just laughing at the audaciousness of the conversation.
The other black girl in this group was regularly late for class, as black people often are. You could only miss three days of school, something like that. If you missed three days, you automatically fail. And if you were late, it counted as 1/3 of an absence. If you were late by more than ten minutes, it counted as a full absence.
So this girl would regularly come in late and the teacher started warning her about this, saying that if she keeps this up, she’s going to fail.
She comes in one day, smiling and laughing. And the teacher looks up stone-faced and says where were you? She says, “Oh, nowhere. I’m just late.” He looks at the clock, she was like 11 minutes late, and he says, “You’re not late, you’re absent.” This put her over the absence limit.
She stopped laughing and just looked at him for a few seconds, contemplating the situation. Then she turned around, threw her book in the trash, and said, “I guess I won’t be needing this” and left. Never saw her again.
That guy was crushed. He said to the class, “There are rules. I’m just following them. Don’t make me out to be the bad guy.” Nobody said anything.
Who knows what happened to any of these people. If they’re still alive, they’re almost certainly still in that ghetto. Had a few kids.
-
Mint Salad Saw Barbie (2023) (RECAP & REVIEW)
Oh, we’ve got Horseface and Mint Salad doing a video about the Barbie movie. This is some real feminism. Is Horseface going to be the one getting pissed on this time?
In case you don’t read every article, Mint Salad has a Fansly where she gets pissed on by her fat hillbilly pimp. Horseface knows this and apparently has no problem with it. Horseface did a Fansly “collab” with Mint Salad connected to this video. She aggressively advertises it as here:
According to the comments, Horseface doesn’t go nude. Thank god for small mercies. But she’s perfectly happy to do softcore porn and support this woman who’s doing watersports material with her aggressive hillbilly pimp.
0:00 – They’re sitting on some little couch in Mint Salad’s pimp’s home, I guess.
Horseface immediately starts talking about Tony from Hack the Movies. She pretends not to like him. Whether she does or not, I don’t know, but without Tony, she’s done. If Tony ever finds a woman to agree to do these reviews who doesn’t have the face of a horse, she’s out.
3:45 – Horseface is talking about how everybody had a “weird Barbie” and Mint Salad, who’s an orphan, says that she never had a Barbie before.
Horseface then, weirdly, says that she’ll buy Mint Salad a Barbie. Mint Salad says that she wants a black Barbie.
5:15 – Horseface says, “Every toy I had had sex with each other”. She goes on to say that even her Matchbox cars engaged in intercourse.
Why is everything about sex with this fucking horse-faced bitch? Even when talking about her CHILDHOOD TOYS she has to introduce sex into the discussion.
She thinks that this is sexy. She thinks that everybody wants to fuck her. Horseface.
6:00 – Horseface says that that half the world has “plastic titties.” Who is her social group where that figure is even close to true?
Then Mint Salad says that she doesn’t have any silicone and cups her tits. Horseface does the same thing. We’re supposed to be jerking off to this?
Mint Salad: So I don’t have anything in common with Barbie.
Horseface: Besides you’re pretty.
Mint Salad: Aww. Thank you. You’re pretty too.
Horseface: Aww. Thank you.
That’s why Horseface said it. This is Horseface’s thing. She says that EVERY woman is attractive because she wants the compliments in return. She’s a total narcissist.
10:00 – After a bizarre rant that had to do with her job that I couldn’t make heads or tails of, Horseface says, “I like hanging out with males or females or even people of non-gender identification.”
Eugh. Fuck off.
“I like hanging out with people.”
As opposed to horses? What the fuck was the point of this rant? Something about the patriarchy and she can’t get an editing job or…something. I don’t know.
10:15 – Mint says, “Do you think an autistic person would do well in this society?”
Nobody cares. She’s talking about the Barbie world, by the way. Worry about doing well in this world. Start by not getting pissed on for money.
And Horseface is just sitting there with this woman who gets pissed on like it’s nothing. She’s actively supporting this behaviour.
12:15 – “How about we just lift each other up and don’t hate each other or get jealous of each other.”
That was from Horseface. Horseface is doing some next level feminism here. Lifting up her fellow human beings by supporting them getting pissed on by their hillbilly pimps.
14:00 – This pimp is the world’s worst cameraman. He keeps zooming in and out and shifting the camera around. Really distracting. Just put it on a tripod, you piece of shit.
15:45 – Mint Salad predicts that she’ll be dead in 70 years. I feel terrible saying this but I think that she’s being extremely optimistic. The life expectancy for prostitutes, which is what she is, is…well…significantly less than 95, I’ll just say that.
16:45 – Horseface suggests that she’s from New York or lives in New York or something.
17:30 – Mint Salad goes on a bizarre and inaccurate rant about teenage drinking. She suggests that if it was legal for teenagers to drink, there wouldn’t be as many alcohol related deaths for teenagers. She goes on to suggest that in Europe, teenagers can drink.
I mean…I don’t know the laws of each country but it’s 18 to drink in the UK. That’s technically a teenager, I guess. But…weird and creepy rant from her.
21:15 – Horseface says that she’s going to get her own Youtube channel in the near future. Don’t you threaten me, Horseface.
Then the video ends with a list of Mint Salad’s Patreon supporters. Tony from Hack the Movies is there.
Speaking of which, Tony from Hack the Movies is ALL OVER the comment section. Well, he has two comments. But it’s two comments out of nine. So he’s responsible for 22.2% of the comments.
He doesn’t say anything interesting. It’s not even worth copying and pasting. He’s just trying to be a funny guy. He’s supporting this woman who gets pissed on by her pimp. This woman who Tony undoubtedly pays to have sex with.
-
Heating Systems Throughout the World
(I’m “out of town” for a few days so I’ve prepared a couple of random articles that will be posted periodically)
I had something similar to the video when I lived in New England. It was a stove but there was a separate knob to control the heater, which was on the side of the stove. There was just a big vent along the side and you turn the knob to control how hot it would get. It would get extremely hot even on a low setting. You had to turn it off periodically rather than rely on it to heat at a steady temperature. There was no thermostat or timer or anything.
That was the only heater in the apartment. The kitchen was in the middle of the apartment so the heat would spread out somewhat but I don’t know. The kitchen would get hot and the other rooms would be less hot. It didn’t seem safe but these things seemed to pretty normal at the time and in New England.
In my childhood home, there were vents in the floor. Central heating. You adjusted a thermostat to your desired temperature and the house would heat properly. No problems.
I don’t remember ever being cold in either property. That place in New England was downright tropical. I don’t know how much gas was costing me but it couldn’t have been much because I never stressed about it.
Then I moved to the UK. I’ve lived in probably 20 places. They all have radiators. When it gets hot, you turn the dial on the radiator and it starts to heat up. Really old fashioned.
There were some places that had some kind of central heating but I never figured out how they worked. They seemed to be timers. There was a clock mechanism on the thing and you would flick switches on this dial to determine when you wanted to the heating to be on or off. So there would be a switch for 12:00, for example, and depending on which way you flicked the switch, the heating would either be on or off at 12:00. Something like this.
The place I’m at now has “central heating” and a thermostat but…it’s shit. It’s just a little box and you set the temperature that you want the house (or at least that thermostat) to be. It’s a digital thing, you just press the buttons until you reach the desired temperature. Somehow, this thing remotely turns the radiators off or on depending on whether or not the desired temperature is reached.
I always had that thing set to 18 and it was cold as fuck. 18 Celsius is 64.4 degrees Farenheit. So yeah, that’s cold. But the recommended setting is 18-21 degrees. I figured I can take it so I went with 18.
My fingers would swell up every winter. So I thought, “That’s weird. Must just be from getting older.”
No. It’s from the cold. I went to the doctor about this, not knowing what it is, and they didn’t a give a fuck. I went like three times. They didn’t know what it was and didn’t seem interested in finding out. I can’t fucking close my fingers because they’ve swollen so much and these doctors didn’t give a fuck.
I had to do all of the research. Chillblains. It’s from extended exposure to the cold. They gave me some steroid cream, which does work, but you know what else would have worked? Turning the fucking heat up. If they told me what this was, this could have all been avoided.
So this year, I’m doing it right. I’m thinking 19 degrees. Maybe I’ll be crazy and turn it up to 20. But in the US, 70 degrees is normal, which is 21 degrees Celsius.
I’ve been cold every winter for the past ten years or so. And it doesn’t even get that cold in the UK. That’s another reason why I left it at 18. I figured it doesn’t really get cold.
But no, it’s because I had the heating on so low. And cost is a concern. I have the money but it seems to be expensive. I never worried about utility bills in the US but it’s a concern in the UK. Also, a lot of the places I’ve lived in, including my current place, are just electric. No gas. I’m pretty sure that gas is cheaper.
The whole energy system in the UK is unsatisfactory from the shitty radiator-based heating to the incompetent energy companies.
You even get people in train stations and shit trying to get you to change your energy provider. How crazy is that? You’re trying to get a train and some shady guy says, “Psst, pal. You want to change your energy provider? I’ve got some sweet deals.”
What the fuck are you talking about? If I wanted to change my energy provider, I’d go to the internet like a normal person. I wouldn’t go to some lunatic holding a clipboard in a train station.
And they’re complete assholes. If you politely say no, they’re assholes. If you ignore them, they’re assholes. The only thing I’ve found that works is telling them to fuck off. You have to out-asshole them. It’s the only language they understand.
I’ve never seen any of this in the US. Maybe it exists, I don’t know. Maybe it’s a more recent development. Maybe I just wasn’t in big enough cities. But I get the feeling that these people would be punched out and/or shot within five minutes if they tried this shit there.
-
Let’s Game For Change!-Full University Speech – Zap Cristal
This is gold. Look at the state of the American higher education system. ZAP CRISTAL is giving a lecture.
0:00 – The “professor” is like 400 pounds. A 300 pounds man(?) in a flannel shirt and mask walks past. It might be a woman but I couldn’t notice any tits. The confusion comes in because they have long hair styled like a woman. A 300 pound woman drinking a sugary beverage walks past.
While this is all going on, this 400 pound “professor” is hyping Zap’s Youtube channel and her GOD AWFUL podcast with Mr Wright Way II. And there’s somebody signing this. Like for deaf people. Sign language. That woman is getting paid quite a bit of money. For this. For weird, creepy, mentally ill ZAP CRISTAL to give a speech. ON WHAT? How to avoid finding actual employment? How to marry black men?
0:45 – Then she starts with “Thank you, appreciate it. Thank you, appreciate it” like she’s Elvis Presley. But Elvis had a job. He was a singer. He was an actor. He was making money.
Then she starts in proper. “So we as human beings create memories through different media forms and different forms of entertainment.”
IT MEANS NOTHING! This is some total bullshit that she came up to try to sound important and intellectual for this community college class. Does she give the name of the college? Yeah. Tarant County College. Let me look this up. Shame these people.
Open admission, meaning that they take anyone. They don’t require SATs or ACTs. “This means any person can be admitted, regardless of their educational background.”
This is straight from their own website. It’s a community college according to Wikipedia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarrant_County_College
1:15 – “To give you more context of who I am, at the present time I have a channel called Zap Cristal.”
She stressed “at the present time” like this is some deep comment. Like in the future, she’s going to be something greater than she is. No. You’re going to be less. Less than whatever the fuck you already are.
2:00 – “Ms Pac-Man made a big impact on my life because Ms Pac-Man was the very first female character in a video game.”
This is fucking…I’m not getting too much further into this one. It’s a joke. I can comment on every fucking sentence. This is an abomination. The whole fucking video is cringe. And did I mention the music? Mr Wright Way II insisted that his music be played over this video, just like he does with the podcast. It fucking kills the videos.
She has long hair, inexplicably. It’s a wig.
2:30 – “My dad was all about breaking traditions. Just revolutionising everything.”
By letting her play video games. Yeah. This guy is right up there with Che Guevara and Vladimir Lenin. What a hero to the working class Zap Cristal’s father was. He let her play Ms Pac-Man. Watch out, fat cat capitalists.
3:15 – There’s a guy in a yellow shirt in the front row. I’ve skimmed through the video and at some point, he leaves. He must have got fed up with this horseshit.
3:30 – She says she “impacted” by some hurricane in Puerto Rico so God told her to go play video games. I am not making this up. She talks about a spiritual awakening where GOD HIMSELF told her to go play video games during the aftermath of that hurricane.
Why is everybody not walking out at this point? This is a complete fucking nutjob.
She brought a Wii U home and wanted to introduce her five year old son to “the traditions that I had.” Video games as a tradition. Oh my fucking god. Get the fuck out of here. This is humiliating. She’s a fucking moron.
4:30 – She says that she came to Texas as a “foreigner.” She’s from Puerto Rico.
I was reading an article recently about the police in mainland USA arresting somebody from Puerto Rico because he thought that Puerto Ricans didn’t have the right to be here. They do. They’re free to move here. Don’t need visas or anything. And an American is free to move to Puerto Rico. Puerto Ricans are American citizens and have been since 1917.
So how was she a foreigner? She’s just perpetuating dangerous misinformation about her own fucking birthplace.
4:45 – She’s talking about how she started her Youtube channel in like 2018 and at that time, people were discriminating against “female” “gamers”. 2018. Let’s just move on. I don’t want to get into this bullshit.
5:15 – “What video game have you played that has helped you through hardships, that has navigated you through dark times?”
NONE, YOU FUCKING RETARD. I don’t use video games for therapy because I’m a normal-functioning human being.
But this is the theisis of her lecture. She’s going to talk about her “healing journey through video games.” She made a video about this before. It’s fucking pathetic.
“Gee, I was going to jump off of a tall building but then I played Tetris.”
I’m done with this shit. I’ve already heard the rest of this. She’s just talking about games that saved her life. She’s done a video on this. It was as pointless and absurd then as it is now. But now she’s giving this speech to the disadvantaged youth of rural Texas. This is shameful. She should be ashamed of herself. The administrators should be ashamed of themselves. The “professor” should be ashamed of himself. Anyone who had any involvement in this should be ashamed of themselves.
Let me just check when that guy left the room.
32:15 – She’s giving some pretentious talk about her “creative” process in making these Youtube videos. These Youtube videos that NOBODY WATCHES. So that guy in the yellow shirt whispers something to the guy next to him and then leaves. He probably said, “Fuck this. I’m going to go smoke a bowl. See you at the hackysack tournament at the quad later.”
It reminds me of my own college days. Not the activities but the leaving lessons after attendance was taken.
37:30 – She ends the lecture by talking about what a musical prodigy her 14 year old son is. He must be absolutely humiliated by all of this.
38:15 – Then everyone just starts leaving. She’s in mid-sentence and they just get up and leave. She says, “Anyone else have questions?” but fuck it. They’re done. They’ve sat through this bullshit for 38 minutes and they’re done with it. Fuck you. We have classes to get to. Real classes. Not listenening to this pointless horseshit about your son and how some indie game saved you from killing yourself.
She ends by thanking “Dr” Johansen Quijano, who was the 400 pound “professor” we saw at the beginning. Let me see what this guy’s doctorate is in. I’m thinking he’s like a radio dj “love doctor”. He has a PhD in sexing you up.
https://www.ratemyprofessors.com/professor/1492891
“Super easy professor. I took this class online and he was an extremely easy grader as long as you follow the rubric and do the discussions.”
I can’t believe that RateMyProfessors still exists. But most of the comments are like the above. They say that he’s an easy grader and you don’t even have to show up for class to pass.
https://www.uta.edu/academics/faculty/profile?username=quijano
Well, he does seem to have qualifications. Three degrees in Puerto Rico and a doctorate in English from The University of Texas.
Why didn’t this guy stand up when she was talking about being a “foreigner” in the US? Probably because he physically couldn’t stand up. I’m sure that he was outraged but just couldn’t stand up under his own power.