Godzilla Minus One (2023) Review – Cinemassacre


For some reason it says that I couldn’t embed the video. Maybe it’s because the site has been down a lot the past couple of days. Erin is trying to hack in.

0:00 – So we’ve got James Rolfe in front of a greenscreen, of course. He’s greenscreened his “nerd room”. You know, instead of actually just filming there.

0:30 – “How can I adequately describe how good this is?”

Well, you can collect your thoughts and write a decent review. Have you considered that?

1:00 – James says that only Japanese people can create good Japanese movies. Pretty racist.

There are Chinese restaurants in the UK that are owned and staffed by white British people. And you think, “This can’t good.” But why not? Who’s to say that these people haven’t been cooking Chinese food for years?

If you saw a Chinese person working in a hamburger place, you wouldn’t say, “This is going to be shit.” But for “ethnic” food, it probably is common, albeit wrong, to expect people from that ethnicity to be cooking it.

Sure, James Rolfe can’t make a good Godzilla movie. He couldn’t even make a good AVGN movie. But I’m sure that there are plenty of talented American writers and directors out there who could make a great Godzilla movie. And on the other hand, there are plenty of Japanese writers and directors who would make a complete piece of shit Godzilla movie.

So don’t bring your racism here, James Rolfe. The guy shits his pants over 80 year old Three Stooges shorts but is perfectly content to tell you that Japanese people are inherently better at making Godzilla movies than non-Japanese people.

5:00 – James Rolfe doesn’t like that the people are formulating a plan to fight Godzilla over the course of several days. He specifically cites a dinner scene as being unrealistic because you wouldn’t have time to eat.

What? What is he suggesting? People work flat out, for days, with no eating or sleeping?

Then he gives his idea on how to improve this. He imagines a scene where people are starting the meeting and then suddenly Godzilla appears and kills everyone. He suggests that this would be great.

Uh huh. This is why those talented Japanese guys are making Godzilla movies and why you’re sitting in front of a green screen talking special education bullshit.

9:00 – He ends the video by saying, “I’m going to get back to work on nerd.”

Uh huh. Sure you are. Give that faggot from Movie Dumpster who writes the scripts my regards.

So anyway, James enjoyed the movie. Great.

I haven’t seen it. I don’t plan on seeing it. I saw Cloverfied years ago. That was okay. I’d catch the old Godzilla movies when they were on tv, as a kid. I don’t remember much about them.

So where are we going with this? Japan? Wacky Japanese porn.

Oh, I’ll tell you. Many years ago, there was some website that had wacky Japanese porn on it. I don’t know if it was a blog or what. But it was very difficult to download stuff from there. I can’t remember why. They made it intentionally difficult if you weren’t paying.

But there was one video that really spoke to me that I wanted to get: Zenra Nude Volleyball. I still have the video. It’s fucking two hours. Must have been a DVD rip.

There’s no sex. It’s just middle aged Japanese women doing warm up exercises, like I guess they do in Japanese schools, and then they play some strip volleyball.

The volleyball skills of these women is actually decent and they seem genuinely competitive. This really adds to the video.

Somewhat off-topic, I used to watch something called Danube Women Wrestling. This was back in Kazaa days. Around the same time as this volleyball video, probably. And it would be women doing oil wrestling or whatever. But semi-competitive.

I found it disappointing because although it wasn’t as obviously fake as a lot of the “cat fight” videos where the one woman sits on the other woman’s face and makes her lick her pussy and whatnot, it was still clearly not a shoot.

Why can’t somebody make genuinely competetive videos? Just give the women an incentive. The winner gets $500 and the loser gets $100. Something like this. I’m sure that there are regulations against this in the US. A genuine sporting competition requires some kind of sanction, whatever. But these Danube videos were made in Eastern Europe, I think. Anything goes, surely.

Back to this volleyball video. Most of the women are just average or even below-average looking Japanese women. But there’s one kind of chubby woman with huge breasts. By Japanese standards, anyway. She becomes the star of this thing. The other women are cupping her tits and she’s jumping up and down and whatnot.

It adds a much needed psychological component to the movie. I don’t know the plot or anything. I don’t speak Japanese and there aren’t any English subtitles. But from what I gather, the other women are jealous of this woman’s big tits. Here I am getting naked and playing volleyball for ¥20,000 or whatever, but this big titted slut is getting all the screen time. It’s an injustice.

So yeah, James Rolfe is recommending Godzilla Minus One and I’m recommending another great Japanese film: Zenra Nude Volleyball.

3 thoughts on “Godzilla Minus One (2023) Review – Cinemassacre

  1. So yeah, I googled “Zenra Nude Volleyball” and literally the first link got me to the video you described. There’s the chubby gal and all.

    But now it’s English subtitled.

    I’d watch that 1,000 times over whatever Bimmy has to say

  2. I looked up the volleyball movie but found nude orchestra instead. Yeah 20 nude women playing music to a packed audience.

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