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Vampire: the Masquerade – Swansong review – Cannot be Tamed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPN8yfXbuwo
Yet more pornography from the gamer grrls. What is going on? Are they all horned up because the weather is getting warmer?
So here we see Pam looking like a fucking drag queen or clown or something. You think that you could have toned the makeup down a teensy bit? This is ridiculous. There is nothing attractive about this. She looks like a complete fool.
Oh, and this is for some Vampire: The Masquerade game. Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining’s most popular video BY FAR is the one where she reviewed the game while dressed as a vampire prostitute. I review that video here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/01/vampire-masquerade-bloodlines-epitome.html
So let’s get to this shit. I guess that I should mention her outfit. She’s wearing a weird necklace and a red dress showing some cleavage. But nothing like the other Vampire: The Masquearade video that she did. This is merely really desperate. Her older video was extremely desperate.
“Hi. I’m Pam and I’m here to talk about vampire video games.”
Get it? Instead of “retro video games”? This is comedy in Pam’s mind.
0:30 – She got the game for free. It was given to her by the publisher so that she’d make a video on it. She may have also got paid for this, I don’t know.
2:30 – I’m already bored out of my mind. Thirteen and a half minutes of this trash. The game is boring, Pam is boring. This is awful. I don’t know. Maybe she’ll take her top off or something.
9:00 – You play as three different characters in this game, kind of like in Grand Theft Auto 5, I guess. You can switch to them on the fly. Pam’s favourite character is the black woman. Too bad there wasn’t a gay, transgender, Romani character. Pam would have really enjoyed that.
10:00 – Terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE acting from Pam. Here’s the problem: Pam is some kind of a fucking robot who doesn’t know how real people behave. That’s why she can’t act.
10:45 – “If there’s one thing I wish for this game, it’s that it was just a little bit sexier. Give me some seduction options, some sultry music, some compromising situations. It’s all just a little too clean.”
Get a girlfriend, Pam.
Comments.
– “This doesn’t really look interesting at all to me but I’m sure it is to many others.”
Well…I can endorse this comment.
– “Graphics look a little 2010s.”
Yeah, I was going to say that it reminded me of…there was some first or third person shooter from the 1990s or 2000s where you went around an impoverished urban area and there were prostitutes and homeless people and gangsters and shit. Every level lead directly to the next level. Like with Half-Life. What was it called?
Kingpin: Life of Crime. That’s it. Released in 1999. Not a good game but I played it for a bit.
Let’s check out Pam’s boring as fuck Twitter.
https://twitter.com/Jasyla_/status/1526353986764292096
New writing desk. Can’t really see anything. It’s dark and she just zoomed in on the computer and the alcohol.
But she says that she wrote 684 words. Of what?
How many words have I written thus far? 537 words.
Maybe Pam is bringing her BLOG back. That would be great. We could blog together.
Maybe blogs will make a comeback. Erin will get in on the action. Madam Fomo. Let’s see it. Maybe these women are better writers than they are “Youtubers”.
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Erin Plays Cum Tribute
The gamer grrl smut train continues. At least Erin isn’t actually producing the stuff.
Anyway, I was searching for “Erin Plays” and “fake” and it doesn’t take long to find some weird shit. One search result is for a forum called CumOnPrintedPics. I don’t think I should link to this but it should be easy enough to find.
So the idea here is to ejaculate on pictures of women and then you take a picture of the the soiled picture. Who are the people masturbating to this? How is this at all erotic? Is this a gay thing or a heterosexual thing? I don’t know. I can’t imagine anybody finding any pleasure out of this stuff. I suspect that it’s more of a gay thing.
Anyway, some guy posted FOURTEEN soiled pictures of Erin. This raises another question. How is this erotic for the guy doing this? They’re just normal pictures of Erin. Fully clothed.
One of the pictures was subtitled, “Draggin’ a wagon”. It was a picture from when she did that terrible presentation at E3.
It’s completely baffling. Who’s the audience for this stuff?
Well, we get some idea of who these lunatics are because they leave “meme” comments, the type one finds on TheCinemassacreTruth. “YoBoi” leaves a comment. I believe that somebody with a similar name posts on TheCinemassacreTruth. His comment is “mike got a 10 incher.” Nothing gay about that. Commenting on a man’s penis.
And then the guy who uploaded these 14 pictures replied with, “And James has no time.”
YaBoi comes back with, “love to build brown bricks with minecrap”
These are all “memes” that are regularly spammed on that sub-reddit. There is no doubt in my mind that these two degenerates are avid readers and contributors to TheCinemassacreTruth.
Oh, I can search this guy’s post history. That’s convenient. I assumed that you’d have to register first and I wasn’t about to register at this place.
So we can see what other pictures he masturbates on.
Some comedian I’ve never heard of. Sadie Sink seems to be a really popular one for him. She’s a 20 year old actress, apparently. Red hair. Maybe that’s his thing.
There’s a red haired porn star who gets the tribute.
He jerks off on pictures of Golden Age Hollywood starlets. So there’s the retro angle.
There seem to be a fair number of British actresses. And he uses some really stereotypical British vernacular. So I suspect that he’s either British or just doing like a really bad impression of a British person.
Star Wars tribute? Just Princess Leia or does he get freaky with Chewy or somebody? Let’s see…
There’s one of Leia but most are of some woman from one of the newer movies. I think that I saw the movie but I don’t know which one it is. It’s a female Jedi. And some of these are erotic drawings of her.
And there are…I don’t even know how many pictures. And they’re all from this guy. And he posts regularly. He posts many times a day. He posts many pictures a day. How is this physically possible? From what I’m seeing, he’d need to ejaculate like 50 times a day. At least. Has he just saved a bunch of these? How long has he been doing this? He’s been on the forum for about a year. Is this his life’s work?
Oh, he even cums on a picture of a female Ukrainian soldier. Showing his support for the Ukrainian people, I guess. He has a few of these, actually.
A trans woman also gets the cum treatment.
7 of 9 from Star Trek: Voyager is also on here. So yeah, this is a giant nerd. With the Star Wars shit as well.
“Mature ladies of Reddit” is another one. There’s further proof that this guy is from TheCinemassacreTruth.
Oh, no, this is an American. He does a cum tribute to some woman he knew in his youth and he mentions that her family owned an XFL franchise or something. This woman is heavily pregnant in some of these pictures.
This guy gives his age too. 37. That’s about right. That’s probably the average age of an Erin Plays fan.
He explains his behaviour in one of these messages. He embarrassed himself in front of some woman that he liked and had a hard time talking to her after that. So “I came on her fucking face.”
He’s talking about the picture, of course. So this is some sort of humiliation ritual for him. He’s somehow demeaning these women by jerking off on their pictures.
But I don’t see it that way. Does anyone? This is just really sad and pathetic. Who cares if you jerk off on somebody’s picture and upload it the internet? It says way more about you than it does the person you’re jerking off over. I don’t think that Jeri Ryan is sitting at home stressing about this. “Oh no. Some lunatic ejaculated on my picture and posted it online. How can I go on?”
Brie Larson is on here.
He has a “redhead collection.”
Here’s another Reddit collection.
Yeah, this guy really needs help. It’s just the volume of pictures. I don’t understand how it’s possible. Are these fake? He posts 17 times a day with multiple pictures in each post. Maybe he’s trying to commit suicide by dehydration.
His username is RickStudly and there’s a weird Twitter that could belong to him but I’m not sure.
He also posts his cum tributes on Reddit. And a bunch of porn sites.
Yeah, it’s just the same shit on Reddit. Dozens of pictures a day.
Anyway, these are the sort of people who are attracted to Erin and attracted to TheCinemassacreTruth. Complete lunatics.
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Johanna from Hack the Movies is on Fansly
https://fansly.com/stufflikehearts/posts
This has to be a joke. I mean, she’s really there but…this must be like how Tony is on OnlyFans. He’s doing it “ironically”. Surely, there aren’t any “sexy” pictures of Johanna on this site. And surely nobody would pay for this.
I discovered that she was on this from Horseface McGee’s Twitter.
https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1526298900902158336
A horntard asks Horseface if she plans on joining Johanna on Fansly. Horseface says, “No”.
Not even Horseface would stoop this low. Horseface was offended by the mere suggestion.
So it seems like this isn’t a joke. Johanna is doing this non-ironically.
What even is Fansly? I looked it up and apparently, it’s like OnlyFans but you can do more hardcore stuff on it. The example given in the Reddit thread that I saw was “urination”.
Is this…oh god. No. No, I don’t want any of this.
And then…oh. Oh my god no. If you click the little avatar on Johnanna’s Fansly site, it enlarges and it’s…oh my fucking god…a “sexy” picture of Johanna with implied nudity. No to all of this.
The description is, “Hello! It is I, Johanna, from HackTheMovies. I assume you’re here for some sweater meat heat. Well, you’ve come to the right place.”
Please fucking god, no.
Who told Johanna that she could make money as a porn star?
I think that she got married recently. Why…what on earth…I don’t understand any of this.
You get married, your wife is a fat chick in her early to mid 30s, and you say, “I think that you should start doing porn.” Who would do this? And it’s for PENNIES. He’s pimping his wife out for PENNIES.
There is no way that anybody is spending five bucks a month to see Johanna naked even if she’s urinating. Especially if she’s urinating.
Her husband has a job. She has a job. Why would she do this? Does she think that she’s going to make any significant amount of money from this?
The depths that the scumbags at Screenwave will go to is endless. Everybody working there is a total scumbag, with the exception of that chubby Asian woman. Now, she’s somebody who could make some money on Fansly. Not that she would do such a thing because she has class. But if she ever decides to join, I’ll sign up. Well, probably not. But I’d at least think about it.
Does Johanna even advertise this anywhere? It’s in her Linktree thing on Twitter but I don’t see any posts about it. And she refers to this guy as her fiance so they’re not married.
Oh, wait. I found one.
https://twitter.com/stufflikehearts/status/1525514120065318912
“the estimated bills of my hospital visit are starting to come in the mail. good thing I’m selling my boobies on the internet….”
She apparently went to the doctor for some mystery ailment and they couldn’t figure out what was wrong, assuming that anything was wrong.
And the responses are…largely negative.
– “And value of your dignity is just how low?”
– “Selling your boobies? You only have 2 of them. How much could you possibly get?”
Especially the two that she’s selling.
– “I guess hack the movies only pays in exposure”
– “I love this stage of capitalism.”
– “Gross”
– “Surprise of the day wouldn’t have guessed you sold boobs on the internet everyday is full of surprises”
Very few people were excited by this news. And these are the fucking horntards. Even the horntards were saying, “No, I’m good.”
But somebody says, “Loved today’s post. That and the fact that I’m looking at boobs for a good cause.”
So…this is real. She’s posting actual nudes there, I guess. Or at least topless. And the guy who said that…here’s his Twitter.
https://twitter.com/cheeseyfudge
He’s in his late 30s at least, about 400 pounds, unkempt beard and hair, never touched a woman, and only talks about Funcopops. These are the people who pay for shit like this.
Five bucks a month. Johanna would have to pay me a lot more than five bucks a month for me to look at her tits. I’ll take a peek for $50 but I’m not lingering.
It’s completely insane.
And she doesn’t even…oh, don’t make me think about Johanna’s tits. But she doesn’t even have big tits. She’s a fat chick but the weight doesn’t really go to her boobs. I don’t want to see this. Who does? Well, CheeseyFudge, I guess, but…that guy is the bottom 0.01% of hopeless losers.
This is her target audience. Absolute rock bottom omega males who devote their miserable lives to toys. Are there enough of these people out there for this to be financially viable? And why would they pay Johanna instead of the millions of better looking women out there who are doing this same thing? Or maybe try out some of the free porn.
It’s a deeply self-loathing person who pays money to see an unattractive woman naked. Because this guy can easily take that five bucks and spend it on some hot chick’s OnlyFans or whatever. He’s intentionally spending the money on Johanna because he thinks that he doesn’t deserve a hot chick. Not even in his fantasies.
There’s also perhaps an element of Johanna being more attainable. This guy thinks that he has a realistic shot of getting a date out of this. If he gave this money to a hot chick, he probably knows that he has no chance of getting anything out of this. But Johanna? She only has a few paying members. Maybe something can happen. Who knows?
But is that even how it works? That uber nerd Marcus is a big Erin Plays fan and he also gives money to some hot Asian woman. He’s done this for years. I talk about Marcus here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/07/erin-plays-horny-loser-fan-review-3.html
Here’s his Twitter:
https://twitter.com/Saberwolf10
Same deal as CheeseyFudge. A giant nerd who couldn’t get a date if his life depended on it.
But Marcus thinks that he has a shot with that hot Asian woman. He’s been giving her money for years. One day he’s going to wear her down and they’re going to be together. She’s going to fall in love with his personality. This is what he thinks.
It’s completely delusional.
It’s extremely immoral to take advantage of these giant fucking social retards. So there’s that aspect.
But it’s also just not a profitable venture. Especially not when you’re a fucking fat chick in your early to mid 30s.
Is this what Johanna’s dignity is worth? Pennies? And she likes taking advantage of these very unfortunate men? It’s pathetic and it’s disgusting.
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Super Retro Gal's Boring as Fuck Twitter
https://twitter.com/super_retro_gal/status/1521519590919917568
Yesterday during my program, a student broke down. I pulled her aside. She told me one of her friends dads committed suicide the day before and she just found out. This world is so broken. Please, before you go out there and be the best you can be. Even in these circumstances.
What the fuck is she talking about? First of all, what program? What is she doing? She doesn’t explain anywhere.
And why is she assuming that the man killed himself over covid? People have killed themselves long before covid.
What a bizarre, disgusting person she is.
https://twitter.com/super_retro_gal/status/1521312951302443010
I just want to have a job in Japan and move there.
Then go do it, you pathetic weeaboo.
Like this is some impossible dream. These English “schools” hire anybody. Although, I didn’t do well in my interview many years ago. I might have been the only person not hired by this programme.
Did I tell this story? I don’t think that I did.
It was the JET programme. This is some company who hires teaching assistants for schools in Japan. So it’s not even “teaching” as a foreign language (TEFL) shit. I think that you’re just a teaching assistant. I assume that they’re English classes, though. For grade school aged kids, presumably.
So anyway, I went to the interview. It was in London. It was a group interview. Oh. Great.
There were like six of us. Something like that. I was the only American, the other people were all English. Everybody looked like a fairly recent graduate. I was in a similar age, I guess. I was in my mid to late 20s.
So we had to pair off and do some painful as fuck group work. I don’t even remember what it was.
Then we had to come in front of the group, give a little presentation, and cluck like a chicken. I’m not making this up. We had to cluck like a chicken. This was part of the interview.
How can this possibly be legal? I don’t think that forcing job applicants to do humiliating bullshit is at all appropriate. But this is what JET does. And if this how they treat job candidates in London, how bad is it going to be in Japan, where you’re a foreigner and possibly the labour laws aren’t as strong?
We also had to do some kind of pseudo-psychological evaluation. They would say a word and you say the first word that you think of. It’s fucking ridiculous. There have to be laws against this.
https://twitter.com/super_retro_gal/status/1522641671875309568
Do I know anyone who’s in creative at Universal Studios? A job I could never apply for before actually just popped up and I don’t want to miss this chance!
So she also wants to work at Universal Studios.
She was so jazzed about getting this job at Disney. She was laid off during covid. Then she got her job back. She talked about how it’s her dream job. She sells Disney timeshares or works with horses at Disneyland or something. And yet, she’s always looking for other jobs, be it Screenwave or her stupid nerd convention or whatever.
So how can I pad this out? How about some weird school *nostalgia*?
When I was in maybe the fourth grade, we all had to go to the nurse’s office for some kind of test. Oh, it must have been a scoliosis test.
So we’re all in line at this school nurse’s office, all boys, and she tells us to take our shirts off. What? This is weird as fuck. But we reluctantly took our shirts off and most everyone was trying to cover up with our shirts. The nurse got really annoyed with this and made some kind of comment about how we’re boys and shouldn’t have a problem taking our shirts off.
Maybe it’s a generational thing. Because she’s probably right. When she was a kid, which was probably the 1940s or 1950s at the latest, this was probably a done thing and boys didn’t mind. It might have been common for boys to take their shirts off on hot days, for example.
But I don’t know. By the 1980s, this wasn’t really done much. I had some hillbilly neighbours who enjoyed taking their shirts off on hot days but I’ve never done this. And my non-hillbilly friends never did this.
There was another time, I was taking a karate class, and the instructor told us to take our gis off. Gi is the whatever, shirt type thing. I suppose that most people know this now what with MMA and all.
I thought that this was really fucking weird and the instructor noted the strange look that I had.
The instructor also mentioned that there were no girls in this particular class so we were able to do this.
What was the point of taking our shirts off? I don’t fucking know. Something about showing the muscle…movement. It had something to do with muscles. But none of us were fucking ripped. I was like 15 years old. I’d never lifted a weight in my life. What’s the point of this? Can I put my shirt back on, please? This is weird.
But the weirdest was the communal showers in high school gym. I must have told this story before. Let me check the archives. Yeah, I did but only a brief version.
So it was the 9th grade. New school. And we’re taking gym class. Everybody has to take showers. We all know it. And we’re all dreading it. It’s the only thing that anybody is talking about. There was one guy who pranced around singing, “I’m going to see my whole class naked next period.” He was obviously joking about looking forward to the experience.
And then…yeah, I think on that first day, the gym coach stayed in the locker room and made sure that everybody took a shower. And they were communal showers. Just like five shower heads in this shower area. No dividers. No cubicles. Just a bunch of naked dudes in this area either taking a shower or waiting to take a shower.
How was this allowed to go on? And it’s not like anybody took an actual shower. Nobody used soap or shampoo or anything. Not one person. You just got in, rinsed off, and left. You did the absolute minimum required to satisfy the shower requirements for this weird gym teacher. Each “shower” was like 20 seconds at the most. What’s the point? This isn’t doing anything other than giving the gym teacher an erection.
And how traumatising would this be if you had a micropenis or something? I don’t know if anyone in my class had a micropenis. I didn’t look. But it’s weird.
We also had a swim teacher who would sometimes come in to check out the shower action. He was a priest. And somewhat young. We all know where this is going.
The gym teacher, for his part, tended to look in the opposite direction when we were in the showers. He made everybody get into the shower but he wouldn’t actively watch.
This swim teacher actively watched. And he singled me out once. “Why is GamerGrrls always trying to avoid taking a shower? Get in there, GamerGrrls.” Then he watched me strip down and take a shower. “What was so hard about that, GamerGrrls?” Your fucking penis is the hardest thing in the room right now, you faggot.
I think that we were the last grade to use these showers. Going forward, not only were showers not mandatory, you COULDN’T take a shower. They sealed that area off or just turned off the water supply.
But yeah, in generations past, it was probably more normal. I read that in the YMCA, up until the 1970s, it was required for men to swim naked. It was considered unhygienic to wear any kind of swimming attire.
By the early 1990s, though…no. This is some weird shit.
Nothing actually happened, though. There are no weird stories. Nobody ever got a boner or anything. Nobody got made fun of. So whatever.
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FRIDAY THE 13TH: The Series Review – Newt Wallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqRuofa6cEc
0:00 – “I wanted to talk about Friday the 13th but I’m not included in that any more.”
He’s talking about Talking About Tapes, presumably, but he hasn’t worked there in at least seven months. Did they plan this far ahead? I really doubt it. And he probably couldn’t have watched the recent Talking About Tapes because it was only released a few hours before Newt released this video. I don’t know.
0:30 – “It was sold in syndication with Star Trek: The Next Generation and that is what helped it get the coverage that it got when it began.”
I think that’s right. I have a vague memory of this show being advertised in conjunction with Star Trek: The Next Generation.
I never saw Friday the 13th: The Series, by the way. I never had any interest in this horror bullshit.
1:45 – Shout out to tits and gore. He’s so fucking boring. And this is mentally ill behaviour.
2:15 – Newt says that this show lead to his parents getting divorced.
2:30 – “My parents got married when they were very young and my parents had me when she was 16 years old.”
So anyway, Newt talks about how his parents were permissive about what he could watch. So young Newt watched a lot of “tits and gore” bullshit. But then his brother told…somebody….Newt doesn’t say who, that he watched all of this “tits and gore” bullshit and this mystery person complained to Newt’s mother.
I’m assuming that this person was a friend of Newt’s brother and then this friend told his parents about this “tits and gore” bullshit that he watched and then the parents got in touch with Newt’s mother and chastised her for not doing a good job with parenting. If you want to let your children watch this “tits and gore” bullshit, that’s up to you, but my kid isn’t watching that shit so he’s not going to be spending any more time with your feral children.
It reminds me of some feral children who I grew up with. They also had parents who had them when they were young. And they were allowed to watch these “tits and gore” movies and listen to heavy metal and this sort of thing. And this is when we were like…9? 10? Maybe younger .
The guy became the biggest drug addict in the school by the time he was 15. Then he got shot and partially paralysed when he was…in his late 20s, I think. Early 30s maybe. It was presumably drug-related. Then he got really depressed and then he killed himself.
At least Newt avoided the drugs, I guess. But it’s sad. It’s sad that people have parents who are too inept or too uncaring to do any parenting. And we see the results.
4:00 – Then Newt says that he was caught watching some episode of Friday the 13th, he still remembers the episode, which illustrates how traumatic this event was, and when his parents caught him watching this, they got into a fight. His mother wanted Newt to turn it off and his father, apparently, felt strongly that Newt should be able to watch this “tits and gore” trash.
So then the father left the home to calm down, met some skank in a bar, had a child with her, and this lead to the dissolution of the marriage.
4:30 – “It’s fine now. My mom talks to me. There’s a video on this channel where I saw my mom for the first time in two years. My dad hasn’t spoken to me in six years.”
So…that weird video where Newt asks his mother if she’s proud of him and he sells her two copies of his “tits and gore” comic was the first time he’d seen his mother in two years?
And what ever happened to that Florida Man comic? Where’s the “merch store”? We were promised “merch”. I’ve got the ten bucks (plus shipping and handling) in my hot little hand ready to go. Newt needs to strike when the iron is hot. Florida Man Saves Christmas Mania is sweeping the world.
5:15 – He describes a character as a, “Beautiful, kooky redhead”. PVC Bondage Girl, who’s holding the camera, knows where this is going so interrupts with, “Not your type at all”.
It’s just pathetic. Let’s ignore the fact that Horseface isn’t…and personality-wise she’s…I don’t even want to get into it. Get the fuck over it, Newt.
Even if it was a hot chick with a nice personality, which it isn’t, on both fronts, who is this fucking obsessed that they would still carry on like this SEVEN MONTHS LATER. Publicly. In Youtube videos.
5:45 – “There was a show called Warehouse 13 that just straight up fucking plagiarised this show.”
There’s no way that he’s going to let the irony of this statement go by.
Wait…he just moved on.
Everything that Newt does is plagiarised. There’s the Monster Madness, of course. But Florida Man is a stolen idea. Amityville Arcade is a stolen idea. Shark Vampire is a stolen idea. Puppet Plan 9 From Outer Space is a stolen idea. Everything is just “tits and gore”.
But here’s Newt feigning outrage over plagiarism. His entire life is based on plagiarism. Without plagiarism, he’s nothing.
7:00 – Newt says that he told the producer or…something of this show that it broke up his parents’ marriage. He did this over Facebook. The same story that he told here.
Let’s be honest. There were probably problems in that relationship before this Friday the 13th incident.
9:30 – Newt says that the fifth Friday the 13th movie is his favourite because it’s, “A dirty, filthy porno movie with big titties in it.”
What a student of cinema Newt is.
That’s the video. But yeah, the series had NOTHING to do with the movies. Newt mentioned this in passing but still recommends watching it. People don’t like being made fools of. This is why the show failed. You can’t just call it something and then the actual product bears no relation to the referenced product.
Anyway, Newt mentioned something in another video that I’d like to briefly mention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ldbB5906RE
He’s reviewing some “tits and gore” piece of shit. He mentions that Lisa London is one of the actresses in it.
I saw this woman in a movie called HOTS. I got the DVD for some reason. It’s a movie from like 1979. Danny Bonaduce is in it along with some women who were in Playboy. It’s like a…Animal House or something movie. I’ve never seen Animal House so I don’t really know. But some kind of a college sex romp comedy.
There are plenty of tits but no gore. And Lisa London is in it. Lisa London is the only reason to watch this movie. She has huge tits and there are at least a couple of scenes where you get a good shot at them.
So Newt is talking about some recent “tits and gore” movie that was released and he mentions some kind of lesbian scene with an old woman and he says that it’s Lisa London.
So I looked it up. She’s like 65 years old now.
Let me see if I can find any video of this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gnIvfBijus
There’s the “trailer” for this “film”. And yeah, Lisa London is there. She’s one of the scientists. She’s obviously had a lot of work done.
Well, whatever. She’s apparently doing loads of stuff according to IMDB. So good for her. She was able to eek out some kind of living for 40 years just based on having big tits.
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Friday the 13th Parts 7, 8, and Jason Goes To Hell Reviews – Tony from Hack the Movies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8td0in5phg
I happened to catch this one live right before it started so I checked it out. Tony does “premieres” for these videos.
So I logged in and I thought, “Maybe I could say some shit in the chat.” Tony was there as was this Joe from Movie Dumpster guy as was Crystal Quin.
I didn’t want to say anything that made it too obvious that it was me but they had to have figured it out pretty quickly. I kept pointing out every time Horseface talked about hot chicks, which, sadly, wasn’t even that much by Horseface standards. So then I just started making half-jokes about things that Crystal theoretically could be saying. Like every time a woman appeared on screen, I’d say, “Now Crystal is going to talk about how attractive this woman getting hit against a tree is.”
Nothing really happened. I didn’t get banned, which was surprising. Horseface asked me if I was okay a couple of times but I just ignored her. I didn’t want to cause a scene and ruin the “premiere” so I just made a few fairly innocuous comments and nobody really seemed to notice.
I managed to get through the whole video. I was starting to doze off about halfway through but I persevered. I think that the interaction, such as it is, helps with staying awake. Nobody said anything interesting, though.
Oh, a couple of people said “sawl” though, in reference to Tony or Crystal saying “saw”. So it’s not just me who noticed this.
Horseface was also reading something and her reading was pretty poor and she said…fuck, what was it? Oh. “Ex-cape” instead of “escape”. What an idiot. This is a big time professional actor. Isn’t reading lines part of the job description?
Anyway, there’s no chance that I’m going to re-watch this shit for review purposes. Nothing happened anyway. They summarised the three movies. They talked about their favourite kills. Horseface pointed out some hot chicks and her fondness for breasts. And that’s it.
Oh, somebody also mentioned Newt at the end of this and Crystal responded. Let me see if I can find it.
2:00:15 –
Collector of Things: I’m sad Nute can’t do Hack the Movies stuff any more but the irany of Crystal being in this one and Nute not
Horseface: he was fired from the company. Nothing to do with me.
Collector of Things:
everyone is entitled to their own opinions
The word “Newt” must be blocked so he’s using “Nute”.
But I find it weird that Horseface responded that Newt getting fired was nothing to do with her. Is that what the guy was suggesting?
Where did this all come from? Because Newt always says this too. “Don’t blame Crystal for me getting fired.” I’m not. Who is? What possible rationale can there be for Crystal being responsible for Newt getting fired? I can’t figure it out. But it seems that this is going on. I guess.
https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1524987578432331776
“Nothing like drinking Red Breast 12 and smoking a cigar in Tampa on a beautiful night!”
And then a “sexy” (giant quotation marks) picture of Horseface holding a cigar. She posted this a few hours after the “premiere” so she must have been in Florida for this? For some reason.
Oh. Earlier in the day, she posted another “sexy” (enormous quotation marks) picture and said that she was going to Tampa.
https://twitter.com/CrystalQuin/status/1524705405586362369
No explanation for any of this. The horntards all leave sycophantic messages and post bizarre gifs for some reason. This is how courtship works in special education, I guess.
Anyway, she’s a remarkably unintelligent woman.
-
Playdate Review – Console and Games! – Erin Plays
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWi-m6E-_Nc
0:00 – “Hey everyone.”
Whoa! New intro. What happened to “Hey guys!”? I think that she also has new glasses.
Mmm…I’m not sure. I’m looking at earlier videos. Maybe the glasses are new? It doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that we get the old school Erin Plays content that we all know and love. A 35 year old woman with absolutely no interest in or experience with video games, pretending to give a fuck about this nerd bullshit.
So today, we’re going to learn all about the Playdate. Erin is a big Playdate fan. She’s been playing this thing for hundreds of hours, all in her spare time, and now she’s ready to review it. Carpal tunnel be damned.
Oh, she’s also helpfully time-stamping everything. Here are the time-stamps she gives:
00:00 – Intro
00:09 – Console and hardware
04:13 – Games
That is the most lazy, useless, idiotic time-stamping I’ve ever seen. More nonsense from Zero Effort Erin.
“It’s yellow, it’s tiny, it looks like an even cuter version of the Game Boy Pocket.”
Is anybody being informed by any of this? Do we need to know the fucking colour? WE CAN SEE IT!
0:15 – “This thing grabbed my attention right away.”
Oh, do tell, Erin.
“So when they reached out and asked if I would like to be sent one to review…”
Ohhhhhh. Now it all makes sense. This is an advertisement. She’s getting paid for this. She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about this.
Then she gives some specifications that she found from Wikipedia dot com. Like screen size and whatever.
She keeps calling this thing a “console”. It’s even in the title. That’s not right, is it? There are consoles and there are handhelds. This is a handheld.
Well, far be it from me to question a video game expert like Erin Plays. It’s a console.
1:15 – “Paddle or knob controllers have existed already since the Pong console or the Atari days.”
What’s the relevance? This isn’t a paddle or “knob controller”. This is like those fishing controllers for the Dreamcast and maybe there were other examples of this on other consoles. You know what I’m talking about, Erin? Those fishing controllers? Used for fishing games. Same fucking thing. Totally unlike a paddle or “knob controller.”
2:00 – Totally black screen. What amazing footage this is.
3:00 – “Wow, did my hand get tired after trying some of these games.”
Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
3:45 – “Since I received mine for review purposes, I was able to unlock all of the games rather quickly.”
She’s talking about how the games are released in “seasons”. There are 24 games this season. So I guess that the games… are unlocked somehow? And she got some kind of a code to unlock everything? Nothing is explained. What the fuck is this? Are the games free or what?
Oh. She explains after this. If you buy the “console”, you get two games and then every week another two games are unlocked. Or something. So she got some kind of code, I guess, to unlock everything right away because this is a commercial that she’s doing.
4:30 – Some female character kicks a male character in the testicles and Erin really focuses on this. She does this kind of thing a lot. Weird, vaguely sexual references to appease the horntards.
By the way, this is the first game that she’s “reviewing”. She can’t beat the first fucking level. Then she says, “I don’t actually think there is a way to make it on time unless I was playing it wrong and missed something.”
The first level. And in her “review” she says that the first level CAN’T be beaten. This is what she honestly believes.
She played this thing once, briefly, poorly, and now she’s “reviewing” it. This irresponsible bullshit review where she says that the first level CAN’T be beaten.
It’s preposterous. Of course it can be beaten. She’s just a fucking moron.
6:15 – Footage of some golf game. And Erin is REALLY bad at the game.
6:45 – “I appreciate the Vectrex-inspired style here.”
Shout out to Erin’s fake fondness for the Vectrex.
9:00 – “This game immediately impressed me with its cuteness.”
Riveting stuff, Erin.
By the way, she’s just giving like 30 second “reviews” of these shitty games that she played once, briefly, poorly, for the purposes of this advertisement.
9:15 – “The character uses a shovel to do everything so the game was clearly inspired by Shovel Knight.”
Oh sure. Every game that uses a shovel is a Shovel Knight rip off. Fucking idiot.
11:15 – “I didn’t want to spend too much time with this one.”
OR WITH ANY OF THEM! Stop the fucking farce. You have no interest in this bullshit.
I’m actually into video games. Sort of. I mean, I play them all day. But I’m not not interested in this bullshit.
11:45 – She claims that some game is “addictive”. She’s used this word many times in this video. It’s a word that she uses many times generally when talking about video games. And it’s all complete bullshit because Erin does not play video games. Hence, she’s not “addicted” to ANY game.
13:45 – She’s playing some surfing game, poorly, for the first and last time ever, and the words “POOR ATTEMPT” appear just as she says “radical”.
15:15 – Then she tells you where you can buy this piece of shit. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE DOLLLARS.
That’s a hard pass. This is shit. It’s a complete piece of shit. The games are shit. The “console” itself is shit. I don’t want this. Who would? Who’s the target audience for this thing? Fans of shitty games? You can play all of the shitty games that you want right now, for free, on the internet. There are billions of them.
And I don’t just mean the pirated stuff. There are also all of those shitty Flash games. I know that Flash is gone now, but you can download Flashpoint and you can automatically download either the entire 100,000 Flash games that they’ve compiled, or just pick and choose which games you want to download. All legal. I guess. Sort of. And free. A lifetime of shitty games. How many more shitty games does anybody possibly need? I’m supposed to PAY $179 for 24 more shitty games? No thanks.
Oh, and this piece of shit isn’t even out yet. They claim that they’re going to release this in 2023. But be sure to pay now for something that you won’t get until 2023. If you’re lucky.
God, that was fucking terrible. Another god awful video from Erin.
– ” All the games look like Tech demos.”
Indeed.
– “Can’t say I was looking forward to a tiny black and white handheld with no backlight for $180.”
Yes.
– “hey Erin. I watched your kirby stream tonight. wish I could chat but you still have me banned for covid comments way in the past. still a fan. unban me please. thanks bye.”
What ever happened with covid? It was all the rage for a few years and now…nothing. People aren’t wearing masks any more. Not even on trains. Are there still travel restrictions anywhere? I never got vaccinated and now I’m hearing that healthy people SHOULDN’T get vaccinated. That’s the official advice now. I’m so confused. Where are the piles of bodies that we were promised?
– “Where can I buy this”
Didn’t you watch the video. She gives the link where you can pre-order this thing at the end. Did you just blow your load after the first five minutes and turn the video off?
– “Great review! However, everything about this device looks terrible.”
– “i wanna playdate with Erin”
– “Erin I mean no offense and I’m only trying to help. You seem more like you’re selling it than reviewing it and I’m only 2 minutes in. Nothing wrong with liking a product your reviewing but ya know…”
Indeed.
– “I don’t care how many crank sticks it has, 179 bucks is freaking ridiculous.”
– “Garbage, like your video editing.”
Hilarious. Not sure how that comment hasn’t been deleted and the user banned.
– “Are you a collector or a hobbyist?”
Neither, of course. But Erin replies, “Well, I wouldn’t really consider myself a “collector,” since I only own/buy games and consoles that I’d actually want to play, so I’d say hobbyist.”
So…she doesn’t buy games. I mean, what she said is technically true but it’s just more obfuscation.
Anyway, the boys on Reddit say that “Cinemassacre” is promoting this video.
It would appear that “Cinemassacre” promoted the video on Facebook.
This used to happen all of the time when Miki controlled things. He’d promote Erin’s shitty videos on the Youtube “community” tab. Then when he sold the channel to Screenwave, that stopped.
But it seems that Mike is involved with the channel again. He’s writing AVGN videos now. So maybe he re-acquired the channel or a share of it.
It’s completely bizarre that the channel was never owned by James Rolfe. But in reality, he was always just the actor anyway. It was Mike writing all of this shit. And when Mike sold the channel to Screenwave, Screenwave wrote all of this shit.
James Rolfe has always just been an autistic puppet in this whole thing. And that’s weird as fuck. Because everybody thought that it was his channel and he was doing all of this. No. He was doing NOTHING.
Anyway, it seems that Mike has some controlling stake in the channel again because Erin is getting promoted on there again. But I don’t care how much promotion Erin gets, it will never be a success. Because just watch the fucking videos. They’re horrendous.
-
ADVENTURES IN GAME CHASING Review – Newt Wallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il_3DzEUiaE
Newt is bringing the heat on this one. This is one of the rare times where I’ve already watched the video. I watched it for “fun” thinking that it wouldn’t be worth reviewing but no. There are some real gems in this one.
0:00 – “I’m on my fourth straight 11.00-11.00 shift.
Let’s just move on. He’s an idiot. I have no idea why he works this much. I don’t even think that this is legal. But I’ve talked about all of this before.
0:30 – He’s reviewing some stupid movie from The Game Chasers. I’ve never watched the channel. They gave Newt a code so that he could preview the movie. It’s not out yet, I guess.
1:00 – “It took me like six times to get through the AVGN Movie.”
God, is that accurate. I tried to review the movie three times and I just gave up. Here are my attempts:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/05/angry-video-game-nerd-movie.html
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/03/angry-video-game-nerd-movie-second.html
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/05/angry-video-game-nerd-movie-third.html
I only made it to the 37 minute mark. After three attempts. And my last shot at this was a year ago. I can not bring myself to watch another second of that trash.
So anyway, Newt talks about how he doesn’t like movies made by “Youtubers”. Yeah, they’re all awful.
1:15 – “The Channel Awesome movies, those movies are just made by egomaniacs, lonely, jerking themselves off on camera while making direct eye contact with their followers.”
Umm…yeah, it’s that thing.
1:30 “And the AVGN Movie? Who was that for? It wasn’t the character from the show so it wasn’t…I don’t know. Plus, I’m still salty because the whole fucking ET cartridges, I wrote a screenplay that we were going to do as a comic book in 2009 called Geeks, Guns, Girls and Ghouls. Then all that went away when they decided, ‘Oh, yeah. That’s the plot of this’”.
Really. So Newt’s idiotic tits and gore screenplay cum comic book was the basis for AVGN: The Movie. I don’t recall much in the way of tits and gore in the AVGN Movie.
2:00 – “I also had a Polybius script and they did a Polybius episode as well and used my machine and I didn’t get thanked in it.”
Newt just wrote everything. Everybody is ripping off Newt’s ideas. It’s some crazy Bizarre world with him. HE’S the one ripping off everyone’s ideas.
And the Polybius machine that was used in the AVGN episode is still in the TNT Amusements warehouse. The guy who owns the company makes videos on Youtube and he regularly shows that machine. He showed it just recently. Like two weeks ago. Why is Newt’s Polybius machine in the TNT Amusements warehouse?
“You could see the video that I made, which is Amityville Arcade, which is on this channel.”
What? I thought that this was one of the four movies that Newt is currently working on.
And then you search the channel for “amityville” and there are no results. Okay, maybe I misspelled it. So you search for “arcade” and there’s only one result, it’s the Ladies of Schlock and Awe video that he uploaded a week ago and had nothing to do with Amityville Arcade.
So…I mean, did Newt think that nobody would check this? I’m on the case. I’m fact-checking everything. I’m a journalist.
2:15 – “It’s always really fucking funny when people who, for a living, criticise other things are not good filmmakers. If you’re going to shit on other people’s movies, then you better make a good movie.”
Then Newt acknowledges the irony of this statement because the only movie he made was Swamp Zombies 2 and it’s a piece of shit.
But obviously, this is a common logical fallacy. One doesn’t need to make movies in order to criticise movies. Roger Ebert made some shitty movie and I don’t think that Gene Siskel ever made a movie but we can still appreciate the merits of their movie critiques.
4:30 – Newt said that he promised 8 Bit Eric a part in one of Newt’s projects. 8 Bit Eric is one of the people in this Adventures in Game Chasing movie.
This review is all bullshit. He knows these people. Later in the video, he thanks them for sticking with him during his firing for plagiarism. He talks about how they all love Newt and want him to succeed. That whole weird bullshit that Newt does. So here he is, talking about how great the movie is.
I’ll tell you, Siskel and Ebert didn’t do this. They had integrity. Their movie reviews came from an educated perspective. They didn’t say, “The writing was good, the acting was good, the lighting was good” like Newt did in his shitty “review” here. They actually had INTERESTING things to say. Educated insights from cinema experts.
4:45 – “I’m in a group chat with those guys. Back since like Christmastime, they changed the title and the poster and stuff. I don’t know if what I offered to the conversation had anything to do with choices that they made but I like to think that I added something to the final result on this thing.”
So now Newt is taking credit for writing Adventures in Game Chasing. It’s unbelievable.
Newt is not a fucking writer. He’s not an ideas man. We’ve seen his writing. We’ve seen his ideas. They’re all COMPLETE SHIT. That’s the cold, hard reality. Why can’t he see it?
6:30 – “Go back to The AVGN Movie, it should have either been Wayne’s World or it should have been like a little 80s horror movie or something, like an Evil Dead video game type movie.”
How about something ORIGINAL? Do you think that it could have been something ORIGINAL? Do you have any original ideas, Newt? Is everything just ripped off?
9:00 – “If you get a copy, let them know that I sent you so that they think that I have a following.”
It’s all about Newt. We must all love and support Newt.
What about me, Newt? Do you suppose that Newt gives a fuck about me? Why isn’t Newt loving and supporting me? I need love and support too. Why does it always have to be about Newt?
Nobody matters except Newt Wallen. Everybody can go fuck themselves. He doesn’t care about your problems. The only person with problems is Newt Wallen. Everybody must stop what they’re doing to heap love and praise on Newt Wallen. WE LOVE YOU, NEWT! WE ALL WANT YOU TO SUCCEED!
– “The AVGN movie blew ass. And that was before I hated those guys before they threw Newt under the bus.”
Newt “hearted” this comment. Newt takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions. He was 100% to blame for getting fired. Nobody else.
Oh, there was also something on Twitter that I wanted to comment on.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1523108588989915137
“Sold another screenplay Tonight. old one that’s been cluttering my desk top sold to indie production team in Portland. That’s 5 scripts sold since Last Summer and 3 more we are shooting ourselves this Summer #screenwriter #script #indiefilm #MutantFam”
Who’s buying this shit? Every script is exactly the same. Tits, gore, and stolen ideas.
But more interesting is this comment by Newt:
– “The theater is how I pay my bills. I put in 50 plus hour weeks as the manager. Any down time im shooting or writing. These paying gigs are not much. But little extra cash allows me to pay actors or crew. Or not stress about taking a weekend off to hit a con”
Wait…that wasn’t it. Maybe he edited the comment or maybe I’m thinking of a different comment. But he said somewhere that he’s making more money at the cinema than he was making at Screenwave. That’s what I suspected all along but it’s nice to get confirmation on that.
-
Erin's Boring as Fuck Twitter
https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1518121955660079106
“I love coffee.”
That’s the tweet. She’s a big coffee fan, guys. She wanted the horntards to know this.
So some right wing conspiracy nut asks, “How do you like your coffee?”
And before we get to Erin’s riveting answer, let’s explore this guy’s Twitter. This is one of Erin’s fans, bear in mind. These are the people watching her videos. The horntards.
https://twitter.com/spacerebellion
Every crackpot, right wing conspiracy theory that exists, he supports them all.
Ukrainians are all Jewish Commie-Nazi Freemasons.
“Fuck your god damn fucking pro nouns. Loser”.
A noun that lost its amateur status.
He also ends a lot of his tweets with “Loser.”
Various stuff about how mass shootings are hoaxes.
He calls some dark-skinned person a “monkey”.
A lot of stuff about child molesters, most of whom are members of the Democratic Party.
Ukraine is also full of child molesters.
Will Smith slapping that guy at the Oscars was a hoax.
A lot of shit anti-“trans” shit.
“I’m tired of hearing about these sick fuck trannys competing in women’s sports and winning against actual women. Let the freak show compete amongst themselves”
Anti-“vax” stuff.
This is every fucking tweet. He never tweets a picture of his dog or something, for example. Or what he had for lunch. Every fucking tweet is some right wing nut job bullshit.
This is one of Erin’s biggest fans. “So what kind of coffee do you like, Erin? And do you agree that the Ukrainian people are all commie-Nazi Freemason child molestors like Obama?”
So Erin replies, “plain ol’ half and half with sugar :)”
Riveting stuff, Erin. It goes well with her favourite snack from Disneyland: unbuttered, unsalted popcorn.
She retweeted this:
https://twitter.com/GamingAlexandri/status/1522236188215631873
Some guy “preserved” (scanned and uploaded) every issue of some PC Engine magazine that I’ve never heard of.
Erin is a big PC Engine fan, guys. She doesn’t know jack shit about the PC Engine but I explored this topic numerous times already so let’s move on.
She re-tweets Mike’s recent Talking About Games.
https://twitter.com/Mike_Matei/status/1522774778326695938
I watched this. Mike talks about his “carpal tunnel” NUMEROUS times in this episode. It’s fucking ridiculous. He claims that his “carpal tunnel” really became aggravated from playing Heroes of Might & Magic III. Even Ryan pointed out the absurdity of this. “Isn’t it just a strategy game where you’re issuing commands?” Mike claims that his “carpal tunnel” gets aggravated because he’s not used to playing games “with mouse and keyboard.”
He talks about his wrist brace. He talks about his ergonomic mouse. He does all of this shit because he’s in constant pain from playing video games.
Then go see a doctor, Mike. Why suffer? Go to the same quack doctor that allegedly diagnosed Erin with carpal tunnel syndrome. I’m still waiting for the results of those nerve tests that Erin promised us. This was back in October. Where are the nerve test results? When is the surgery?
He doesn’t see a doctor because it’s all made up bullshit.
https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1523032448677777408
“I’ve been wearing ear plugs when I go to shows since my early 20s. And if I forget my ear plugs, I stuff pieces of tissues in my ears”
She’s a big ear plugs fan, guys. Spacerebellion left a message saying that only transgender child molesters use earplugs but some guys in black UN helicopters quickly deleted the message.
But yeah, when Erin goes to concerts, she always brings the earplugs. She’s all about that crazy rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. And when she forgets the earplugs, she just takes some of her snotty tissue and shoves that up her earholes.
Metal Jesus replies, “I suffer from tinnitus and it’s no joke. I hear a high pitched squeal 24/7 and it’s been happening for more than 20 years now. Really sucks. Too many live metal shows with no earplugs…”
What are you retarded? That’s not from the wild Twister Sister shows that you enjoyed in your youth. That noise is a subliminal message from the Democratic Party brainwashing the sheeple into trading our guns for covid vaccines.
Joe from Gamesack also replied. “I went to an AC/DC concert when I was 8 or 9. Permanent tinnitus, though I still seem to be able to hear details other people don’t.”
You think that you’re going to get a date with this shit? AC/DC? Really? Well, I suppose that Erin does pretend to enjoy things from before she was born. I was wrong to doubt Joe from Gamesack’s romantic machinations.
But no, it’s not tinnitus, you fucking loser. That high-pitched sound that you’re hearing is the death cry of every one of Spacerebellion’s spermatozoa every time he cranks one out to Erin. That’s why you hear it so often.
These are the people watching Erin’s videos. Literal retards. People with serious mental health problems. And she’s taking money from them.
I was watching a Mike Matei stream recently and Games and Movies gave a bunch of “gift subs”. Games and Movies Entertainment. In case you’re new, here’s his channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLrQiA7pj308zh-AD3guKhw/videos
He also regularly goes to Erin’s streams and gives her money. They know exactly who this guy is. He’s a seriously mentally retarded man. I’m not saying this as a joke or as an insult. He has videos on his channel where he’s at Disneyland and he’s hugging the costumed characters. This is every single video. He walks with an odd gait. He positions his arms in an odd way. Facially, you can see that something is not right with this man. Every comment that he leaves on Youtube or whatever is “HUGS!”
Anybody with a brain can see that this man is mentally retarded. Not a little bit. Serious mental retardation. And they’re taking money from him.
Then you have this lunatic talking about grey aliens injecting covid into transgender Ukrainians in order to help the Democrats elect a loser monkey. They’re taking money from these people. It’s grossly unethical.
