Super Retro Gal's Boring as Fuck Twitter

Yesterday during my program, a student broke down. I pulled her aside. She told me one of her friends dads committed suicide the day before and she just found out. This world is so broken. Please, before you go out there and be the best you can be. Even in these circumstances.

What the fuck is she talking about?  First of all, what program?  What is she doing?  She doesn’t explain anywhere.  

And why is she assuming that the man killed himself over covid?  People have killed themselves long before covid.  

What a bizarre, disgusting person she is.

I just want to have a job in Japan and move there.

Then go do it, you pathetic weeaboo.  

Like this is some impossible dream.  These English “schools” hire anybody.  Although, I didn’t do well in my interview many years ago.  I might have been the only person not hired by this programme.

Did I tell this story?  I don’t think that I did.

It was the JET programme.  This is some company who hires teaching assistants for schools in Japan.  So it’s not even “teaching” as a foreign language (TEFL) shit.  I think that you’re just a teaching assistant.  I assume that they’re English classes, though.  For grade school aged kids, presumably.  

So anyway, I went to the interview.  It was in London.  It was a group interview.  Oh.  Great.

There were like six of us.  Something like that.  I was the only American, the other people were all English.  Everybody looked like a fairly recent graduate.  I was in a similar age, I guess.  I was in my mid to late 20s.

So we had to pair off and do some painful as fuck group work.  I don’t even remember what it was.

Then we had to come in front of the group, give a little presentation, and cluck like a chicken.  I’m not making this up.  We had to cluck like a chicken.  This was part of the interview.

How can this possibly be legal?  I don’t think that forcing job applicants to do humiliating bullshit is at all appropriate.  But this is what JET does.  And if this how they treat job candidates in London, how bad is it going to be in Japan, where you’re a foreigner and possibly the labour laws aren’t as strong?

We also had to do some kind of pseudo-psychological evaluation.  They would say a word and you say the first word that you think of.  It’s fucking ridiculous.  There have to be laws against this.

Do I know anyone who’s in creative at Universal Studios? A job I could never apply for before actually just popped up and I don’t want to miss this chance!

So she also wants to work at Universal Studios.

She was so jazzed about getting this job at Disney.  She was laid off during covid.  Then she got her job back.  She talked about how it’s her dream job.  She sells Disney timeshares or works with horses at Disneyland or something.  And yet, she’s always looking for other jobs, be it Screenwave or her stupid nerd convention or whatever.

So how can I pad this out?  How about some weird school *nostalgia*?

When I was in maybe the fourth grade, we all had to go to the nurse’s office for some kind of test.  Oh, it must have been a scoliosis test.  

So we’re all in line at this school nurse’s office, all boys, and she tells us to take our shirts off.  What?  This is weird as fuck.  But we reluctantly took our shirts off and most everyone was trying to cover up with our shirts.  The nurse got really annoyed with this and made some kind of comment about how we’re boys and shouldn’t have a problem taking our shirts off.

Maybe it’s a generational thing.  Because she’s probably right.  When she was a kid, which was probably the 1940s or 1950s at the latest, this was probably a done thing and boys didn’t mind.  It might have been common for boys to take their shirts off on hot days, for example.    

But I don’t know.  By the 1980s, this wasn’t really done much.  I had some hillbilly neighbours who enjoyed taking their shirts off on hot days but I’ve never done this.  And my non-hillbilly friends never did this.  

There was another time, I was taking a karate class, and the instructor told us to take our gis off.  Gi is the whatever, shirt type thing.  I suppose that most people know this now what with MMA and all.

I thought that this was really fucking weird and the instructor noted the strange look that I had.  

The instructor also mentioned that there were no girls in this particular class so we were able to do this.

What was the point of taking our shirts off?  I don’t fucking know.  Something about showing the muscle…movement.  It had something to do with muscles.  But none of us were fucking ripped.  I was like 15 years old.  I’d never lifted a weight in my life.  What’s the point of this?  Can I put my shirt back on, please?  This is weird.

But the weirdest was the communal showers in high school gym.  I must have told this story before.  Let me check the archives.  Yeah, I did but only a brief version.

So it was the 9th grade.  New school.  And we’re taking gym class.  Everybody has to take showers.  We all know it.  And we’re all dreading it.  It’s the only thing that anybody is talking about.  There was one guy who pranced around singing, “I’m going to see my whole class naked next period.”  He was obviously joking about looking forward to the experience.

And then…yeah, I think on that first day, the gym coach stayed in the locker room and made sure that everybody took a shower.  And they were communal showers.  Just like five shower heads in this shower area.  No dividers.  No cubicles.  Just a bunch of naked dudes in this area either taking a shower or waiting to take a shower.

How was this allowed to go on?   And it’s not like anybody took an actual shower.  Nobody used soap or shampoo or anything.  Not one person.  You just got in, rinsed off, and left.  You did the absolute minimum required to satisfy the shower requirements for this weird gym teacher.  Each “shower” was like 20 seconds at the most.  What’s the point?  This isn’t doing anything other than giving the gym teacher an erection.

And how traumatising would this be if you had a micropenis or something?  I don’t know if anyone in my class had a micropenis.  I didn’t look.  But it’s weird.

We also had a swim teacher who would sometimes come in to check out the shower action.  He was a priest.  And somewhat young.  We all know where this is going.

The gym teacher, for his part, tended to look in the opposite direction when we were in the showers.  He made everybody get into the shower but he wouldn’t actively watch.  

This swim teacher actively watched.  And he singled me out  once.  “Why is GamerGrrls always trying to avoid taking a shower?  Get in there, GamerGrrls.”  Then he watched me strip down and take a shower.  “What was so hard about that, GamerGrrls?”  Your fucking penis is the hardest thing in the room right now, you faggot.

I think that we were the last grade to use these showers.  Going forward, not only were showers not mandatory, you COULDN’T take a shower.  They sealed that area off or just turned off the water supply.  

But yeah, in generations past, it was probably more normal.  I read that in the YMCA, up until the 1970s, it was required for men to swim naked.  It was considered unhygienic to wear any kind of swimming attire.  

By the early 1990s, though…no.  This is some weird shit.  

Nothing actually happened, though.  There are no weird stories.  Nobody ever got a boner or anything.  Nobody got made fun of.  So whatever.  

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