Newt is bringing the heat on this one.  This is one of the rare times where I’ve already watched the video.  I watched it for “fun” thinking that it wouldn’t be worth reviewing but no.  There are some real gems in this one.

0:00 – “I’m on my fourth straight 11.00-11.00 shift.

Let’s just move on.  He’s an idiot.  I have no idea why he works this much.  I don’t even think that this is legal.  But I’ve talked about all of this before.

0:30 – He’s reviewing some stupid movie from The Game Chasers.  I’ve never watched the channel.  They gave Newt a code so that he could preview the movie.  It’s not out yet, I guess.  

1:00 – “It took me like six times to get through the AVGN Movie.”

God, is that accurate.  I tried to review the movie three times and I just gave up.  Here are my attempts:

I only made it to the 37 minute mark.  After three attempts.  And my last shot at this was a year ago.  I can not bring myself to watch another second of that trash.  

So anyway, Newt talks about how he doesn’t like movies made by “Youtubers”.  Yeah, they’re all awful.

1:15 – “The Channel Awesome movies, those movies are just made by egomaniacs, lonely, jerking themselves off on camera while making direct eye contact with their followers.”

Umm…yeah, it’s that thing.

1:30 “And the AVGN Movie?  Who was that for?  It wasn’t the character from the show so it wasn’t…I don’t know.  Plus, I’m still salty because the whole fucking ET cartridges, I wrote a screenplay that we were going to do as a comic book in 2009 called Geeks, Guns, Girls and Ghouls.  Then all that went away when they decided, ‘Oh, yeah.  That’s the plot of this'”.

Really.  So Newt’s idiotic tits and gore screenplay cum comic book was the basis for AVGN: The Movie.  I don’t recall much in the way of tits and gore in the AVGN Movie.  

2:00 – “I also had a Polybius script and they did a Polybius episode as well and used my machine and I didn’t get thanked in it.”

Newt just wrote everything.  Everybody is ripping off Newt’s ideas.  It’s some crazy Bizarre world with him.  HE’S the one ripping off everyone’s ideas.  

And the Polybius machine that was used in the AVGN episode is still in the TNT Amusements warehouse.  The guy who owns the company makes videos on Youtube and he regularly shows that machine.  He showed it just recently.  Like two weeks ago.  Why is Newt’s Polybius machine in the TNT Amusements warehouse?

“You could see the video that I made, which is Amityville Arcade, which is on this channel.”

What?  I thought that this was one of the four movies that Newt is currently working on.  

And then you search the channel for “amityville” and there are no results.  Okay, maybe I misspelled it.  So you search for “arcade” and there’s only one result, it’s the Ladies of Schlock and Awe video that he uploaded a week ago and had nothing to do with Amityville Arcade.

So…I mean, did Newt think that nobody would check this?  I’m on the case.  I’m fact-checking everything.  I’m a journalist.

2:15 – “It’s always really fucking funny when people who, for a living, criticise other things are not good filmmakers.  If you’re going to shit on other people’s movies, then you better make a good movie.”

Then Newt acknowledges the irony of this statement because the only movie he made was Swamp Zombies 2 and it’s a piece of shit.

But obviously, this is a common logical fallacy.  One doesn’t need to make movies in order to criticise movies.  Roger Ebert made some shitty movie and I don’t think that Gene Siskel ever made a movie but we can still appreciate the merits of their movie critiques. 

4:30 – Newt said that he promised 8 Bit Eric a part in one of Newt’s projects.  8 Bit Eric is one of the people in this Adventures in Game Chasing movie.

This review is all bullshit.  He knows these people.  Later in the video, he thanks them for sticking with him during his firing for plagiarism.  He talks about how they all love Newt and want him to succeed.  That whole weird bullshit that Newt does.  So here he is, talking about how great the movie is.

I’ll tell you, Siskel and Ebert didn’t do this.  They had integrity.  Their movie reviews came from an educated perspective.  They didn’t say, “The writing was good, the acting was good, the lighting was good” like Newt did in his shitty “review” here.  They actually had INTERESTING things to say.  Educated insights from cinema experts.  

4:45 – “I’m in a group chat with those guys.  Back since like Christmastime, they changed the title and the poster and stuff.  I don’t know if what I offered to the conversation had anything to do with choices that they made but I like to think that I added something to the final result on this thing.”

So now Newt is taking credit for writing Adventures in Game Chasing.  It’s unbelievable.  

Newt is not a fucking writer.  He’s not an ideas man.  We’ve seen his writing.  We’ve seen his ideas.  They’re all COMPLETE SHIT.  That’s the cold, hard reality.  Why can’t he see it?

6:30 – “Go back to The AVGN Movie, it should have either been Wayne’s World or it should have been like a little 80s horror movie or something, like an Evil Dead video game type movie.”

How about something ORIGINAL?  Do you think that it could have been something ORIGINAL?  Do you have any original ideas, Newt?  Is everything just ripped off?  

9:00 – “If you get a copy, let them know that I sent you so that they think that I have a following.”

It’s all about Newt.  We must all love and support Newt.

What about me, Newt?  Do you suppose that Newt gives a fuck about me?  Why isn’t Newt loving and supporting me?  I need love and support too.  Why does it always have to be about Newt?  

Nobody matters except Newt Wallen.  Everybody can go fuck themselves.  He doesn’t care about your problems.  The only person with problems is Newt Wallen.  Everybody must stop what they’re doing to heap love and praise on Newt Wallen.  WE LOVE YOU, NEWT!  WE ALL WANT YOU TO SUCCEED!

– “The AVGN movie blew ass. And that was before I hated those guys before they threw Newt under the bus.”

Newt “hearted” this comment.  Newt takes absolutely no responsibility for his actions.  He was 100% to blame for getting fired. Nobody else.

Oh, there was also something on Twitter that I wanted to comment on.

“Sold another screenplay Tonight. old one that’s been cluttering my desk top sold to indie production team in Portland. That’s 5 scripts sold since Last Summer and 3 more we are shooting ourselves this Summer #screenwriter #script #indiefilm #MutantFam”

Who’s buying this shit?  Every script is exactly the same.  Tits, gore, and stolen ideas.

But more interesting is this comment by Newt:

– “The theater is how I pay my bills. I put in 50 plus hour weeks as the manager. Any down time im shooting or writing. These paying gigs are not much. But little extra cash allows me to pay actors or crew. Or not stress about taking a weekend off to hit a con”

Wait…that wasn’t it.  Maybe he edited the comment or maybe I’m thinking of a different comment.  But he said somewhere that he’s making more money at the cinema than he was making at Screenwave.  That’s what I suspected all along but it’s nice to get confirmation on that.

5 thoughts on “ADVENTURES IN GAME CHASING Review – Newt Wallen

  1. Ok so there's a lot to unpack here since Newt is such a nutjob.First of all, his deluded implication that he doesn't comprehend that BOTH he AND Rolfe make (very) shitty movies is hilarious and predictable. In his little world he thinks he's making something quality. So much so he says that crazy shit you mentioned about how only people who make movies should be criticizing movie makers. Can you get any more idiotic here? We all know you're not being sarcastic at all. You genuinely think all this stuff. Because you're a nutjob and a hack. You're actually so much of both you're willing to publicly say things like this too. You basically fuck yourself constantly by doing it too. Just like you did to your job at Screenwave.Secondly, I would be highly suspect of any income claims this man ever makes. He's a known liar, and a known narcissist. Combine the two and his resentment and total denial that he got fired (for legitimate reasons), and you've got a person that I'd be hard pressed believing the time of day from. He could be making more money now. He could not be. But him just saying that shit doesn't mean jack considering who is saying it. Show me your income form from both jobs from last tax season and then I'll believe it.Third, this man is so obsessed with self-congrats and mentioning how many scripts he has written. It reminds me of how obsessed as fuck Tony is about video views. Not only about them, but constantly and publicly sharing his thoughts on them like anyone but him cares about his social blade. They both have very deep OCD apparently, and of course would deny it to the grave. Newt has his repeated stories. Tony has his repeated jokes he can never get off of. You can see it in his eyes when someone else is talking and you know his OCD is demanding that he say the same thing he always says in that situation to anyone talking about the topic of _______. Even if he's the only person in the room laughing after saying it LOL. Newt does the same shit. He brings up the same story no matter if it is the 10th or 1000th person he has told the story to. Just because the topic of _______ suddenly came up. All the while he's basically the only person amused by it in the room.

  2. Newt is a dishonest fellow but I thought that this cinema job paid more than Screenwave even before he said it. The ads I saw for “channel managers” on Screnwave were pretty poorly paid. I'm thinking $25,000/year. Let me look this up. say $30,000 there. But in the most recent ad, it's $30,000 to $40,000. ALWAYS seem to be hiring channel managers. What's going on there? Why can't they keep their staff? Is everybody quitting? Is everybody getting fired for plagiarism? But I don't know…$30,000 for a manager of a cinema? It doesn't seem implausible. Especially since he says that he works over 50 hours a week.Average salary of a movie theatre manager…$35,958 according to Salary dot com. So yeah. I'd guess that he's making more money now.

  3. I feel like a theater in that specific area has to pay less than average though. It's really a low income area. The thing I have to wonder though is who exactly is paying him. Who does everyone at that theater even answer to? Are they just as much a shithead that they know how it's being run and don't care? and are willing to even pay what you mentioned? For his service? Do they even know his dishonest job history at all?

  4. They must know about the plagiarism because he talks about it constantly and puts it in Youtube videos. They obviously don't care, and why would they? He's talked about people above him so there must be more than one person. Some kind of upper management, I guess. Maybe there's a chain of these cinemas. Maybe there's an owner. Maybe there are a board of people who own the place.And they've indicated before that it's actually a wealthy area that the theatre is located in. PVC Bondage Girl talked about the rich white people in the area, for example.

  5. I forgot that area is Bucks County. So it has rich people from Philadelphia visiting it and commuting from there. I don't think they live down the street from the theater however.I was thinking of Allentown area, which has like half the income and a massive 25% poverty rate. I think one or two people from Screenwave are from there. People like Newt and PVC have that vibe since they make no money too and are trash tier white people. Same with Erin obviously. So if anything it's like they don't fit in in Bucks County lol. People like them and Tony earn 3-5x less than the median income.I live in northern Virginia myself, so I'll also have to scoff by default at the notion that they live in a “rich” area. With all the politicians living here our average income levels in this area are incredibly high. I worked a 30k job here at only age 17. My gf earns 90k working for an electrical company here. So all their jobs at their ages just seem like a joke really.

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