Home

  • Knock at the Cabin Review – Newt Wallen

    Oh, Newt is reviewing a horror movie. What a shocking turn of events this is.

    He’s with PVC Bondage Girl. In his car.

    0:30 – Newt says that they went to a “movie tavern”.

    Oh. That’s the name of the cinema. The Movie Tavern in Exton, Pennsylvania. It just looks like a regular cinema. No tavern.

    I’m reading some reviews. It seems like there’s a place to get alcoholic drinks inside of the cinema but outside of the actual screening room. Who cares? I’ve seen places like this in the UK. This must be a novel thing in the US.

    1:15 – Newt had a pulled pork sandwich and whiskey. PVC Bondage Girl had a quesadilla.

    Can you drink in the actual screening room? It seems to be. Yeah, you couldn’t do that stuff in movie theatres in the US twenty years ago. I don’t think. But of course you can do it in the UK. So a win for American alcoholics who can’t even see a movie without getting drunk.

    What’s the appeal in getting drunk while watching a movie? You need to stay focused. Well, I guess that it could help with dating situations. Might get the courage to touch a boob or a thigh or something. And if the woman is also drinking, her inhibitions might be lower.

    Is this what was happening here? Newt was rubbing on PVC Bondage Girl’s boobs while they were both drunk? It can’t be because we’ve recently discovered that Newt is gay. He shows his penis to other men.

    Although, we also learned that PVC Bondage Girl is in fact a man. “Transmasc” as she likes to say. So…yeah. It all makes sense. These are two gay dudes going to the cinema. And one of the gay dudes touched the other gay dude’s boobs while they were both drunk.

    2:15 – “The basic conceit of this movie is a gay couple.” Then Newt points to himself and PVC Bondage Girl. So…yeah. This is a homosexual couple. Two horny men.

    3:00 – PVC Bondage Girl takes her jacket off. Whoa. Look at the melons on that guy.

    Isn’t it cold in Pennsylvania in early February? PVC Bondage Girl is wearing a little dress. I guess. Or a sleeveless top of some description. What a weird thing for a man to wear in any weather but especially in fucking winter in rural Pennsylvania.

    You can see PVC Bondage Girl’s bra as well. Not just the strap but also the top of her bra. This is…this is very strange attire for a man. But whatever. I’m not here to judge. We’re living in modern times.

    6:00 – PVC Bondage Girl tells a story about how when she was a little boy, she would catch insects. She goes into some detail about how she had a “tunnel system” to capture them.

    Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks. So he immediately changes the subject. Newt only wants to talk about Newt.

    So I made it to 15 minutes. That’s about half of the video. I think I can safely stop here. They’re just going to continue to summarise the movie.

    ,

  • Erin Likes Blue

    Why is she so interested in colours? It’s one of the few genuine interests that she has. Colours. Like a fucking toddler.

    I know that women are interested in colours but not like this. Not to the point where they have regular full on conversations about various hues. It’s fucking retarded.

    How are we supposed to contribute to this conversation? “Oh, I like blue too. I like a different shade of blue. I like periwinkle.”.

    What are the comments? What can anyone possibly say to this?

    • “Everyone had one of these.” and he posts a picture of a children’s toy telephone.

    I didn’t have one. I wasn’t a child. Not everybody was a child in 2000. Even if they were, not everybody had this particular toy telephone. That’s a ridiculous comment.

    But Erin replies, “Yup! I had a lime green one.”

    First of all, I’m astonished that Erin had this thing. She almost never says that she had something.

    But secondly, she had a lime green. Lime green. It’s important that you know that it was lime green. Not just green. Lime green. Lime green is slightly lighter than regular green. Erin wants you to know this. For whatever reason, Erin thinks that this is important information to convey to the internet. We need to know the precise hue that her childhood toy was.

    • “Wow I remember this color so specifically too! This takes me back”

    That post was from one of the few women who go to Erin’s Twitter. And she was really excited to hear about blue. She’s *nostalgic* for blue. It takes her back to her childhood days when blue existed.

    Well, I have good news for you, RedAux (that’s her name). Blue still exists. And red. All of the colours from your childhood are still alive and well today.

    These things have been around forever. Since the dawn of time. There are no new colours. There are no extinct colours.

    Oh. RedAux has a Tiwtch channel. That’s why she’s on Erin’s Twitter. She’s just there to promote her shit.

    https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1727250527

    She plays the piano, on stream, for money. Well, it’s something different, at least. Something that she’s, presumably, actually interested in.

    Oh, but it seems to be video game music that she plays. That’s lame. She has to try to appeal to the horntards. You’re telling me that horntards can’t appreciate classical music? It’s supposed to raise your intelligence. Those people need all of the extra intelligence they can get.

    If I was retarded, I would do nothing but listen to classical music. Try to bump that intelligence up a bit. “Another three years of this and maybe I’ll be able to tie my own shoes.”

    There’s another reply from Erin. Remember bath oil beads? They sure were colourful. Look at all of them.

    How is this even a tiny bit interesting to anyone? I don’t get it.

    And you have Mike listening to this braindead shit 24/7. And he’s PAYING to listen to that. He’s showering Erin with gifts and regular trips to California to listen to that banal bullshit. He doesn’t have a fucking clue how to be a sugar daddy. You don’t pay for this fucking shit.

    Fucking blue. She’s a complete moron.

  • More Shit Jobs that I had in England

    I’m going to try to confine this to jobs that I had during my time of living in Wembley but it’s hard to figure out. I refreshed my memory by looking at an old resume but I always fudged the dates hard on my resume so I don’t know what the true dates are. I’d only work at a place for like a month and I’d put that I worked there for six months. Shit like this.

    The last job that I talked about was the overnight shift data entry job in a warehouse.

    By this point, I was specifically looking for data entry jobs because I was sick of hearing, “You’re too quiet and won’t fit in.” I sent literally thousands of resumes out and went on hundreds of job interviews and I would hear this same exact phrase over and over and over again.

    I never had this problem in the US. Not once. I was at least as withdrawn in the US if not more so but it was never an issue. Certainly not in terms of finding work. What difference does it make if somebody is quiet or not? This is a job. Not a popularity contest.

    I think that it just comes down to people in the US being more accepting of others. In the UK, employers, and I have to assume people in general are looking for something very specific. And if you’re not what they have in mind, you’re not getting the job.

    What other biases do they have? Racial? Religious? Nationality? Who knows? But they were very comfortable telling me that they’re not giving me the job because I’m too quiet and wouldn’t fit in. No fucking way would any employer in the US say this, even if it was an issue, which it isn’t (at least in my experience).

    I’ve had jobs in the US and somebody will make an offhand comment about me not saying much, and other people would stand up for me. “That’s just how he is. There’s nothing wrong with it.” Much more open-minded people.

    So I got this data entry job. It was during the day, normal hours, so that was a big improvement. And it was in central London. I don’t remember how I got the job. Maybe through an agency but I’m not sure.

    It was a telemarketing company or something. I don’t know exactly what the company at large did but in the department I was working in, people were making phone calls to “government and business leaders” and asking them how they enjoy British Telecom’s various services. This company presumably had some contract with BT, which is the main phone and internet company in the UK.

    They were also making other types of calls. A lot of the calls weren’t in English. There were people who spoke Spanish and French and whatever. I don’t know who they were calling.

    My job was to listen to these recorded calls and transcribe what was being said. I think. That seems like it would take a long time. But I was definitely listening to the calls so that’s probably what it was.

    I was the only one doing this. Everyone else was a telemarketer or whatever the term would be. There were 20 or 30 people making these calls, I would guess.

    The boss was an asshole. He was maybe in his late 20s. I think an English guy. I don’t think that he was white but I don’t know what he was. Middle Eastern? Mixed race? I don’t know.

    He never really gave me any problems, that I can remember, but he was a dick. There was a Spanish guy who had some issue (I don’t remember what but it wasn’t anything unreasonable) and this boss yelled at him like, “Just do your job” and threatened to fire him. Then that guy just sat there for a few minutes, obviously contemplating whether or not he should leave, but he must have really needed the job because he stayed.

    Then there was a woman in her 50s, I’d guess, who made a jokey comment about the work being difficult and this boss said, “Well, that’s your job” in an insulting fashion.

    So I did this job for a month, maybe two months. Towards the end, they had some of the telemarketers help with the work and they also hired a woman to help with this. There was a deadline to finish these things.

    I was the only one who knew how to type. I was blowing everyone away. There was no problem with my work. Everybody was happy with the work, even this giant asshole of a boss.

    Then the job came to an end. We finished all of this work. And that was it.

    They asked this woman who they hired late in the day to help with this work if she wanted to work as a telemarketer. And she agreed to this. They didn’t ask me. I wouldn’t want to do that kind of work anyway but it’s yet another example of this being too quiet and not fitting in issue.

    Then I got a job cleaning schools. This was through an agency. The agency was right near to where I lived. The agent really stressed the need to have good stamina, as though mopping a floor requires particularly good stamina.

    So I went to this school. It was at night. There was a boss and two or three other people also on this cleaning crew. Everybody was black except me. I believe that they were all immigrants. There were two women from the Caribbean and an African guy.

    We’re given different areas that we have to clean. It was just mopping, from what I recall.

    One of the teachers was in the school for some reason. It was a black English woman. And she complains about my mop. “It looks like that was used to mop the toilets.”

    Well, it is used to mop the toilets but what real difference does it make? It’s cleaned. And people aren’t pissing on the floor.

    So she tells me not to clean her classroom. Fine. What the fuck do I care? But she was a giant bitch. So then she complains to my boss. “I don’t want him cleaning my classroom. That mop looks like it was used to clean the toilets.”

    By the way, people in England say “toilets” when they mean “bathroom”. She wasn’t suggesting that I was cleaning the actual commodes with the mop. Just the bathroom floor. Which I was. It’s what I was told to do. There aren’t separate mops for the bathrooms. Fuck you.

    But this bitch wanted to get me fired and/or this boss lady. And for what? I’m cleaning the floor. She has an issue with the mop so she tells me not to clean her room. So fine. I didn’t. The issue is resolved. But she wanted to cause problems.

    Anyway, I didn’t go back. I think that I only did the job for one day. Maybe two. So maybe there was a problem. Maybe they asked the agency not to send me back. But I got along with everyone just fine. Except for that bitch teacher, who shouldn’t have even been in the school.

    I was also working as a teaching assistant and exam invigilator throughout all of this, very sporadically. I’d usually do one day and they wouldn’t ask me back. This was for teaching assistant jobs. I never went to a teaching assistant job for more than one day.

    Then I got a job at a shipping company. I don’t know the term. An independent shipping company, similar to the US Mail or Royal Mail or whatever but a private company. Like UPS or something but nowhere near that level. I never even heard of this company. This was a job through an agency, of course. The same agency who sent me to the school for the cleaning job, so they couldn’t have got particularly bad feedback.

    This was around Christmas. They needed more people to help load the trucks. So the boss shows me around the facility. Sorting machines and whatnot. Mildly interesting. Then we get to the conveyor belt that has all of the packages on it. This is where I was going to be working.

    The boss was in his late 30s, I guess. He was a white English guy. And he was friendly. He asked me about the US and how I’m finding England and shit like this.

    There were different roles in this conveyor belt operation. There were like eight people working there. Different parts of the conveyor belt had different jobs.

    I started by loading the conveyor belt with packages. We had a big thing of packages and I had to put them on the conveyor belt. I did that for a while. Then I went to the end of the conveyor belt and took the packages off. I did that for a while. No problem.

    Then this boss left. He went home. A new boss came in. He was some old English white guy. Maybe five foot two. He tells me to go to the section where you have to load the trucks.

    There’s a giant, cavernous truck. And what you need to do here is hurl the packages like 20 feet in the air so that you fill the truck completely full with packages. And the packages weighed up to 25 pounds.

    I’m not some muscle man by any means. I’m a slim guy. I can’t fucking do this. I tried. But after about 30 minutes, it was obvious that I physically could not hurl these packages the distance that was required.

    So I go to this old boss.

    Me: I can’t throw these packages.

    Boss: What do you mean you can’t throw them?

    Me: Just physically. I can’t do it.

    Boss: Oh.

    Me: So…can I go to a different part of the conveyor?

    Boss: What if everybody said they don’t like to throw the packages?

    Me: I’m here as a temp. I physically can’t throw the packages. So what do you want me to do? Quit?

    Boss: I don’t know. That’s for you to decide.

    So I left.

    Next day, I’m speaking to the agent. He asks me how it went. I tell him. He says, “Did you ask to go to a different part of the conveyor?” I said that I did.

    So this agent agrees that I did the right thing and that little boss was just an asshole but I never heard from this agency again. At least I got two jobs out of them. Usually, I’d just get one. At best.

  • WTF Wednesday Review: The Blob (1988) – Newt Wallen

    I want to know who these people are, if any, who are watching a 90 minute video of Newt Wallen reviewing an old movie in his kitchen. Give us the analytics, Ideas Man. What percentage of the viewers are watching this video all the way through? Is it more than zero?

    Nobody can possibly be interested in this. Two people with serious mental health problems talking about the 1980s version of The Blob. For ninety fucking minutes.

    So…fuck. I’ll give it the usual ten minutes and then see where we go from there. That’s how long the whole video should be. Ten minutes. We don’t need a feature film length movie review. It’s ridiculous. And they’re not even going to fucking review anything. They’re just going to summarise the movie and Newt is going to occasionally interject with some fucking creepy comment about tits or whatever.

    0:00 – PVC Bondage Girl is wearing a necklace that has a bunch of zippers on it. I only mention it because I saw some horntard in the comments talk about this.

    Now she’s brushing her hair. Why? Why is she brushing her hair? In Newt kitchen, especially. I know that he doesn’t cook. He has fucking toys on his stovetop. But still, he presumably eats there. They’re sitting at a table.

    In any event, why would she need to brush her hair now? While making a video? She has some urgent tangles?

    1:00 – Put some clothes on, PVC Bondage Girl. What the fuck is this. Whatever she’s wearing, it’s extremely low cut.

    By the way, I’m at 2:30 and I have no idea what they’re talking about. I’ve already tuned out. We’re supposed to watch this for an hour and a half.

    Oh. It’s a discussion about practical effects versus CGI. They’re really breaking new ground with this discussion. They prefer practical effects, by the way. Great.

    Where are the vociferous CGI supporters? I’ve never seen one.

    7:30 – PVC Bondage Girl is drinking from a tiny cup. What is this? Is she taking her medication?

    8:15 – I hear clinking as PVC Bondage Girl is manipulating an off-screen bottle, presumably. So maybe she’s taking shots of vodka or something.

    PVC Bondage Girl wasn’t sure if she saw the 1950s The Blob or the 1980s version. How is it possible?

    11:00 – Newt says, “All white people kind of look the same.” I don’t know if he’s referencing his casual anti-white comments or if this was a serious comment.

    13:45 – Newt prompts PVC Bondage Girl to tell some creepy story about purchasing condoms.

    14:15 – Talking about the various terms for “submarine sandwich” has led Newt to mention Grindr, the app for homosexual dating. So PVC Bondage Girl says, “Even though I consider myself transmas (???) I’d feel disingenuous posting on it.”

    Well no fucking shit. It’s an app for GAY MEN. Not women who look slightly masculine.

    There would be fucking gay dudes on there, swiping away, they’re looking for somebody to have sex in a public toilet of something, nothing wrong with that, you do your thing, and then they’d get to PVC Bondage Girl’s profile. What the fuck? I’m here for HOT DUDES. Not women who kind of look like men.

    It’s fucking ridiculous. “Tranmas”. I don’t even know what she was fucking saying.

    Oh. I looked it up. “Transmasc”. Short for “transmasculine.” What’s “transmasculine”? I don’t know. Let’s find out together from the Nonbinary Wiki. Probably my favourite site.

    “Transmasculine, sometimes abbreviated to transmasc, is an umbrella term that describes a transgender person (generally one who was assigned female at birth), and whose gender is masculine and/or who express themselves in a masculine way. Transmasculine people feel a connection with masculinity, but do not always identify as a man.”

    So…a woman who…is a little masculine? Why would you need a name for that? We already have a term for that. “Female sports fans.”

    She actually considered going on Grindr because she enjoys watching basketball. How fucking absurd is this? Those guys are looking to suck cock. Not watch a hockey game with some crazy woman.

    Anyway, back to this creep story that Newt encouraged PVC Bondage Girl to tell. They were in Wawa ordering sandwiches and some guy asked for extra small condoms. That’s the story.

    15:00 – PVC Bondage Girl says, “I want to make it clear that I’m not in any way shaming any size.”

    What’s the point of the story otherwise? If the punchline isn’t, “Hey, that guy had a small penis”, there is no point to the story. It’s just a story about a man buying a condom. Who cares?

    Then Newt reminds PVC Bondage Girl of a conversation that they had about men who enjoy being humiliated for having small penises and PVC Bondage Girl lights up and gives the name of this particular fetish (I can’t understand what she said) and that she’s really into it, apparently.

    15:15 – I…what? I have to type this out.

    Newt: I had to recently prove myself to some of my Youtube friends.

    PVC: What do you mean?

    Newt: They said that I didn’t have what I said I had.

    PVC: Why does anybody care?

    Newt: I don’t know. So I showed —

    PVC: Did they also say that it was aesthetically pleasing?

    Newt: They did, actually.

    PVC: No. Bullshit.

    Newt: No, no. They were all very impressed and then some were a little bit upset. So 8 Bit Eric and Gamesack and RGT and The GameChasers, and all of those guys were like, “Fuck. Newt’s got a big dick.”

    What? Newt has not only come out of the closet with this comment, but he’s also outed a number of popular Youtubers. Why are they showing their penises to each other? No heterosexual man does that.

    Joe from Gamesack is looking at Newt’s cock? And apparently asking to see it? This is something that interests him?

    I don’t really know the other people. Let me look them up.

    Oh yeah. 8 Bit Eric is definitely gay. Beard, fat, soprano voice. He’s a bear.

    RGT 85, same deal.

    The Game Chasers. I don’t know. They seem pretty camp from the two seconds of footage that I’ve watched.

    So yeah. These are a bunch of gay “Youtubers” looking at each other’s penises. This is what apparently goes on. And Newt just mentions this like it’s normal. No. It’s fine to be gay. You do you. But I don’t think that those people want to be outed like this. In a fucking Youtube video in Newt’s kitchen.

    16:45 – PVC Bondage Girl implies that she used to work at a place called Adult World, that sold condoms. Some sex shop, presumably.

    18:45 – Now PVC Bondage Girl is, inexplicably, doing a TED talk on “pegging”. This is putting stuff in your ass. I mean…what is this? I guess that this is a channel for homosexual men? I probably should have guessed when I saw that there were so many men in dresses leaving comments on Newt’s Twitter. Maybe I’m just a little slow on the uptake.

    Okay. So I made it to 20 minutes. They’re finally talking about the movie again. Summarising it. Great. That’s enough for me.

    Let’s check out the comments, I guess.

    • “Newt is packing a 10-inch hog!!! width is 1.5 inches!! It was really newt and not the matei rumors that were going around”

    That was from “Horn Dog”. I’ve quoted his comments a few times. Must be some fucking faggot from Reddit who’s obsessed with Mike’s penis.

    • “Nice, the video is back up! so the strike was removed!! Anothst win for the good guys!! Can’t wait to check it out now”

    There are a few comments like this. Apparently, this video got removed. Somebody flagged it for copyright. Maybe it was one of the Youtubers who he so casually outed as being gay. That’s fucking outrageous. But whatever. Newt is seriously mentally ill.

    ,

  • New years updates and the future of my channel – Cannot be Tamed

    0:15 – She says that she hasn’t made many videos or streamed in December and January. It’s true. She gave up after some shitty video didn’t get as many views as she wanted.

    0:45 – She took a trip to Belize and Guatemala.

    1:00 – She shows a picture of her looking miserable at some Aztec ruins. Or maybe they’re not Aztec. Who knows?

    Who’s operating the camera for this? Her dog? Maybe she brought a tripod with her. Or just propped the camera up somewhere.

    She says that she did a lot of “caves and spelunking.” Uh huh. Pam is a real spelunker. Spelunking those Guatemalan caves.

    1:10 – Whoa! Get your tissues ready for this one. Pam in a bikini.

    She also “sipped on pineapple juice cocktails”. Uh huh. She’s a drunk.

    Snorkelling was another “adventure” she had there.

    Then she came back to Canada with four kilograms of heroin smuggled in her person.

    Who the fuck goes to Belize and Guatemala? This is the most SJW vacation possible. “Oh, I love the indigenous culture” and then she spends all of her time in tourist areas, doing tourist shit, and drinking tourist alcoholic beverages.

    1:30 – She went to Magfest. You know what would have been great? A picture of Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining with Crystal Quin aka Horseface McGee. Like that famous picture of Erin with Pam from some nerd convention.

    Oh. She was only there for a few hours because she “got overwhelmed by the amount of people on the floor.” She’s paranoid about covid. I guess. Or does she suddenly just have a fear of crowds?

    2:45 – Shoot oot to Point and Drink Adventure, Pam’s AWFUL podcast with her lesbian bff Pele.

    I should have mentioned that Pam is wearing a shirt that says, “Emotionally Unavailable.”

    4:15 – “Finally, I just wanted to give a bit of an update on sort of the direction or the future of my channel. I’m not going anywhere, really. I’m not quitting Youtube.”

    Fuck.

    “But I have really enjoyed this little break that I’ve taken.”

    Well, no. This could be good news. “All good tv shows take a break.” You know what that means. This shit is over.

    She says that she’s been making three or four videos a month for the past eight years.

    6:15 – Now Pam is showing some video games that she recently purchased. We can safely skip this.

    8:30 – Shoot oot to her life partner.

    Then she finishes the video by talking about games that she’s been playing. I don’t care.

    Comments.

    • “Why do you look better with each video?”

    Maybe glaucoma. See a doctor.

    • “Hi Pam, I’m a NYer that’s a huge fan of you and your Channel. Anyway, I’ve been playing Elemental Gimmick Gear (EGG) for the Sega Dreamcast. Fun game with fantastic music. Have you ever played it?”

    Yo yo yo. Imma New Yorker.

    Who gives a fuck? What are we even supposed to take from this? He’s from New York so…he likes old Dreamcast games? What does New York have to do with anything?

    I’ve known a few people from New York. They’re assholes. Is this what you’re promoting? “Yo yo yo. I’m an asshole.” Just a warning for people, I guess.

    Yo yo yo. Where my cream cheese and bagels at?

    They’re up your ass, faggot.

    You don’t get this from people from anywhere else in the world. Nobody says, “I’m a Dallas guy” or “I’m a Copenhagener” or “I’m a La Pazinite” but for some reason we’re supposed to give a shit that somebody is from New York. People from New York think that we’re going to be impressed with this. No. Fuck New York and fuck you.

    Anyway, is it too premature to post this:

  • This small SWAP MEET in Moses Lake felt like 2004 all over again – John Riggs

    God, this guy has really gained weight. Maybe it’s just more noticeable because he got a haircut. He’s not sporting that god awful skullet any more. He must literally weigh 400 pounds.

    He’s in Moses Lake. He mentions this several times like we’re all familiar with Moses Lake. You guys know Moses Lake, right?

    No. I’ve never even heard of it before.

    Population: 25,000. Fuck you, Horny John Riggs. Expecting people to know some fucking small town.

    He brought his children. I think. His sons/daughters. As a reminder, two of his sons are actually daughters. It’s a giant red flag of horrible, horrible parenting.

    If it was just one, okay, we can maybe overlook it. Maybe it’s just some fluke mental illness with no particular explanation. But two? No. That’s clear abuse and/or neglect.

    1:00 – Oh, John Riggs is eating a doughnut now. Want to get to 500 pounds, Mr Riggs? Is that the goal now? Don’t worry about your poor daughter in the background. Just keep stuffing your fat face with confectionary.

    1:30 – Here’s Jeff Collins. He’s the organizer of this event. He’s about 500 pounds.

    I don’t get it. What’s going on in the US? I’m trying to think about how many fat people I’ve seen in the US. I left the country 20 years ago. I saw some. Some people were fat. But fucking 400 or 500 pound people? Rarely. Extremely rarely.

    But you look at videos from these nerd conventions and it’s FULL of 400+ pounders. A lot of these “gaming” “Youtubers” are big, fat, motherfuckers. Is this a representative sample of the current state of the US or is just that fat people are attracted to nerd shit like video games?

    You see fat people in the UK too, of course, but…I don’t know. Is it more or less than what I’ve seen in the US? I never did any kind of statistical study on this.

    But I don’t see people who are over 400 pounds in the UK. I can’t think of any, certainly. It would be noteworthy. I’d remember it. But I have seen such people in the US. Not often but sometimes.

    I had a neighbour who had a couple of young children with her husband. She was regularly dieting. I got the impression that she was overweight as a child. Her children were both overweight. But she was fairly slim at the time.

    Then she got divorced and ballooned to easily 400 pounds. And she became a lesbian. Because what man is interested in a 400 pound woman? And she got a girlfriend who was also about 400 pounds. And they were in our home, sitting on our sofa, and…god. How did that sofa possibly support that much weight?

    I’m trying to think of any time I’ve seen somebody like that in the UK. I’ve seen 300 pounders. Not often but it happens. But 400 pounds? Fuck no.

    I’ve never been on a bus or a train, for example, in the UK, where some fat fuck is taking up two seats. And I take trains most every day. It’s never even been like somebody is sitting next to you and their girth is unpleasantly intruding on your space.

    Does it happen in the US? I don’t know. I didn’t take public transportation there. But you look at the size of John Riggs or any of these people who I’m talking about, they clearly could not fit into one seat.

    I’m assuming that they drive. Anyway. Let’s continue the video.

    5:30 – John Riggs is talking to another 400+ pound guy.

    Then immediately after that, there’s a couple of 400+ pound guys behind a booth, selling shit.

    6:00 – There’s a 400 pound…woman(?) rubbing her giant belly. It might be a man with long hair.

    So that’s the video. John Riggs didn’t really show his children. That’s a good thing. They’ve suffered enough. Don’t put them in your shitty Youtube videos.

    Let me look for the average weight in the US over time.

    https://news.gallup.com/poll/328241/americans-average-weight-holds-steady-2020.aspx

    The average weight of an American man today is 200 pounds. That’s a big, fat guy. And that’s the average weight.

    I’ve lost 15 pounds since I started this one meal a day thing in November. This is what I weighed when I was in college. And I’ve never been remotely overweight.

    What are these people doing to amass so much weight? Well, you see from John Riggs’ videos that he’s CONSTANTLY eating. That has to be a factor. That has to be basically the only factor. I also assume that he’s not getting any exercise but I’m not getting much exercise either. It’s just constant eating. That’s how you get to 400 pounds.

    You look at fucking Mike Matei. He’s probably 200+ pounds now. And five years ago, he was probably 150 pounds. What happened? I think that it was around the time that he got with Erin. Or was he already down that path before he got with Erin? I’m not sure.

    I don’t think that Erin is cooking anything. I think that they just eat takeaway for every meal. But then why isn’t Erin getting fucking huge? For a while, she was gaining weight but she seems to have lost it. She also talks about working out once in a while. So maybe that’s the difference. Erin works out and Mike doesn’t.

    They should work out together. And be each other’s weight loss buddy. They could finally have something in common. Something that they could bond over. Strengthen this obviously loving relationship that they have.

    They have all the time in the world to work on their weight loss goals. Neither one of them has a job. Start doing some sit ups. Or what about doing some Mousercise? The videos are on Youtube. From 1983, so this was Mike’s era. According to Mike. He was three years old at the time. They like Disney. And retro shit. Erin in particular enjoys retro shit from before she was born. So this is right up their alley.

  • Colossal Cave (2023) Review – Classic Sierra game? Not quite – Metal Jesus Rocks

    I haven’t watched this guy’s videos in fucking years. I tuned out around the time of that proposed RV trip that was begging money for. He was also shilling hard for Patreon after that. Fuck this. Also, his content just wasn’t interesting any more. It’s all so formulaic. Hidden gems and whatnot. How many hidden gems can there possibly be?

    So he’s reviewing a game. That’s…new for him. As far as I’m aware.

    The game is made by Roberta Williams, the woman who co-developed the King’s Quest games, along with her husband. I’m always dubious on husband and wife video game developing. How much work is each party actually doing? To be blunt, is the woman actually interested in video games and engaged and knows how to program or is this really all the husband’s work and the wife is just along for the ride?

    1:00 – “Before we get started, I do want to address that a review like this for me is a bit tricky because I’m grateful to call Ken and Roberta friends and also I worked for them at Sierra in the 90s.”

    And there’s video of Metal Jesus hanging out with the Williams family. HE’S HUGE! What the fuck happened? I heard that this guy went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

    Aside from the obesity epidemic in the US, it’s fucking pathetic how Metal Jesus claims that he worked at Sierra. He worked on the hint line telephone network. So some kid would call in and ask, “Where’s the wizard’s magic wand in King’s Quest III” and Metal Jesus would look up the answer and say, “Well, it’s on top of the safe in his study, of course.”

    Then when the phone bill comes, that kid would get beat for calling this $3.99/minute hint line.

    But Metal Jesus never says this. Well, he must have done at some point. How else would I know about it? But in general terms, he just says that he, “Worked at Sierra”. He’s obviously implying that he worked on the games. No. He was answering the fucking scam hint line.

    And how long did he even work there? It would be pathetic to work a hint line for years. What other jobs has he had? I have a hazy memory that he also worked in retail. I could be wrong. I’d like to see his full resume.

    So I’ve watched the video now. Basically, he says that the game sucks dick. And this is a game that he says he gave feedback to during the early development and he gets a “thanks” credit in the game, ala Kieran in the AVGN videos.

    I don’t think that he’ll be invited back to the Williams home any time soon.

    His complaints do seem valid, though. Puzzles that don’t make sense. Lack of a story. I guess that this is how the original game was but this isn’t 1976 any more.

    New games from former Sierra people always seem to be disappointing. There was Hero U from the people who made Quest for Glory. Another husband and wife team, as it happens. I never played it but from the reviews I read, it was okay at best. The reviews weren’t enough to get me interested and I was huge into the Quest for Glory series. Except for the fifth one. I never played that one because all of the reviews said that it’s shit.

    All of the Leisure Suit Larry games post-Sierra got mediocre, at best reviews. Although, I guess even the Sierra games in the series weren’t anything amazing.

    Didn’t the Space Quest guys release a game fairly recently too? Yeah. Space Venture. Released last year, after ten years in development. From the few reviews I’ve managed to find, it looks like it’s not good. I’ve never played any Space Quest game, by the way.

    What about Police Quest? Nobody’s tried to reboot that franchise. There’s all kinds of shit you can do with that concept. Social commentary.

    Why doesn’t somebody just use the old school, 16 colour graphics but update the games? Do something new with them. New story. New puzzles, obviously.

    I suppose that people have done this. Fan games. There are probably loads of these games. There’s Quest for Glory 4 1/2. I played that one a bit years ago. Was put off by the bizarre racism in the game.

    There was that fan project that converted Quest for Glory II into…whatever…VGA graphics and a mouse cursor. I played that for a bit too, years ago.

    Oh yeah. They used a program called Adventure Game Studio to make the game. And there appear to be loads of games on there.

    https://www.adventuregamestudio.co.uk/site/games/allgames/

    A full 27 pages of games. And people are still making the games. The most recent one is Super Star Trek (1978) meets 25th Anniversary. They took the 1978 Star Trek game (which I haven’t played) and put it into the 25th Anniversary game (which I have played). That’s cool. Well, obviously it isn’t. It’s only something a giant nerd would be interested in. But I find it cool.

    Here’s a great idea for a Youtube channel or a Twitch stream: just play these fucking games. We don’t need any more playthroughs of Escape from Monkey Island or whatever but play fucking Masquerade at the Con or Huggles Goes on a Trip or something. You’d be the only person with a video of this game. You’d quite possibly be the only person ever to have to played the game.

    If the games are bad, you have funny stuff to talk about. If the games are good, you have a genuinely hidden gem to talk about.

  • Taylor Swift – PARODY – We Are Never Ever Gonna Win With Andy – Newt Wallen

    Newt tweeted about this. As here:

    “EaglesNation vs #ChiefsKingdom #SuperBowlLVII remember that time I produced that music video that went #viral about then #philly coach #AndyReid for @SportsRadioWIP”

    You just need a few more hashtags and at symbols in there, Ideas Man.

    But do I remember? No. Of course not.

    So I watched the video. Then I watched the video that they’re parodying. As here:

    Warning: that Taylor Swift is EXTREMELY gay. I have no idea bow anybody can listen to that shit. I made it about halfway through and then skipped around.

    As for the parody video that Newt allegedly “produced” (whatever that even means) it seems to follow the source material quite closely. The woman looks like Taylor Swift. Whoever is singing sounds like Taylor Swift. So…that’s good, I guess.

    I think that Justin Silverman is playing the coach. And at the 1:05 mark, that’s Horseface, right? I think that they’re using at least three different women for the singer. Am I crazy? If this is right, it’s a bizarre artistic choice. Is this referencing something or could they just not get this first woman to film enough scenes?

    So what is this thing referencing? From a DuckDuckGo search, there was a coach for the Philadelphia Eagles gridiron team named Andy Reid. And apparently people were unhappy with his performance.

    God. Who cares? Who cares about local sports teams? Go team!

    I never got it. What always bothered me is that none of the people on the team are even from the area. If it was a team comprised of, say, people who were from Philadelphia taking on a team where the people were comprised from, say, people from Kansas City, I would get it. Somewhat, anyway.

    It would be like the Olympics, I guess. You’re supposed to have a strong connection to the country in order to represent that country in the Olympics. So I can see getting behind that. The nationalism. My country produces better speed skaters than your country, therefore my country is better than yours.

    But with these fucking “local” sports teams, you’re just cheering for billion dollar companies where the millionaire players are from where ever. So what’s the significance? The athletes probably don’t even like your town. They’re just there temporarily because they’re getting paid to play on the team. When they get transferred, they’ll happily move and never return. They spit on your shitty town.

    And sports are supposed to be like the ultimate heterosexual male activity. No. No fucking way. It’s the complete opposite. Sports are fucking gay. All of them. Man on man action? No, thanks. It’s deeply homoerotic. A bunch of sweaty young men, often in little short pants, trying to impose their will on other men. Okay, you boys can you enjoy that stuff. I’m going to spend some time with the ladies instead.

    Also, they’re just stupid and totally meaningless. I don’t think that I have to rehearse the whole list of reasons why professional sports are a cancer on society. I think that we all know the reasons.

    Anyway, Newt is taking credit for this video. What exactly did he do? He says that he was the “producer”. What a producer do? Let me look this up.

    “They are the overall decision makers. Producers will come up with story ideas and hire writers or choose and secure rights to scripts.”

    So…Newt hired somebody to write the song. I guess. That’s it? He wants to get credit for that?

    You’re missing out, Newt, but not because of your fast food choices.

    Holy shit. They do have Popeyes in the UK. Mostly in London. It won’t be the same, though. It never is. There’s different ingredients or something.

    I might have had Popeyes a few times when I was a kid but I don’t remember much about it. I didn’t like fried chicken. I still don’t. It’s fucking gross. Biting into veins and whatnot.

    I had a chicken wrap today from a diner. I don’t mind chicken in wrap form. I was the only person in that place. Chicken wrap, fries, and a can of Coke for like £6. It’s about what you’d pay at a fast food place, if not less. And I’m helping a local businessman. A mom and pop operation. Not lining the pockets of some multinational corporation.

    I went to another diner a couple of weeks ago. Again, I was the only one there. Really limited menu. But I got a hamburger, fries, and a can of soda for £5.50. They asked if I wanted any sauce. I said, “Yeah, ketchup please.” And they brought a big industrial-sized bottle of Heinz ketchup. I thought it was a little weird. You expect one of those little red bottles or something but no. But whatever. It worked.

    At another diner, a guy came in and started asking the proprietor how large his chicken breasts are. He was told to get out. They started yelling and shit. And the guy asking this was probably in his 50s. It wasn’t some kid trying to be funny.

    And these places will cook whatever you want. I always just go off the menu, but sometimes they’ll encourage me to go nuts. “Whatever you want, I’ll make it.” This is service. You don’t get this from fast food places.

    Fast food places are always full of scumbags too. Who needs it? You go to an independent place and the food is better, the ambiance is better, the price is comparable, and you’re supporting local business. What’s not to like? I haven’t been to a McDonalds or Burger King or whatever in fucking ten years.

  • Mint Salad Saw The Breakfast Club (MOVIE REVIEW)

    0:00 – She says that this movie was requested by some horntard on one of her “spicy sites”.

    It’s Fansly. Let me warn you that there’s a picture of MintSalad’s bare breasts on there now. Holy shit. This woman…come on. She should not be doing porn. I’m sorry. She has a normal body, I’m not here to body shame anyone, but this is not what we want when we’re looking for porn. When you’re looking at porn, you want HOT CHICKS with GREAT bodies. That’s just the reality. Not some fucking chubby meth addict. I didn’t even know it was possible to be a chubby meth addict, but here we are.

    She seems to still be banned from Twitter. So at least there’s that.

    But back to this porn business. I don’t like that there are absolutely no standards in porn any more. Any fat chick or horse-faced woman can and will go out and do porn. Why? And who’s buying this shit?

    Obviously, you’re not a bad person if you don’t have a great body. I’m just saying, don’t do porn. You can still have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever combination, with as many people as you want, but just keep it off of the internet. Is that so difficult?

    You need to find what you’re good at. Porn isn’t for everybody. And why is porn aspirational anyway? Just go get a normal job like a normal person. Why demean yourself? And for pennies. These bottom-feeders aren’t making much money on OnlyFans or Fansly or whatever.

    At the very least can you put some effort into it? Start eating right and working out. A lot of these women seem to be taking pictures right after they ate a bucket of fried chicken. That’s not body-positivity, that’s delusion. That’s entitlement. You think that people want to see you naked no matter what you look like. No. Fucking retards maybe, but a normal-functioning person? No.

    So anyway, some middle aged retarded man who’s inexplicably paying to see MintSalad naked wanted her to review The Breakfast Club. And I’ve seen the movie. So let’s watch the video. What insights is MintSalad going to have?

    0:30 – She’s summarising the movie. That’s what this is going to be. The Tony from Hack the Movies School of Movie Reviews.

    There’s loud music playing over all of this. People in the comments complain about it. Some guy named Cranberry Dave claims responsibility for this.

    He’s a self-proclaimed legendary hip-hop producer. Uh huh. Anime banner. It’s just some giant nerd who’s editing MintSalad’s videos for free.

    She keeps talking about “silly salad”. I don’t know what this is a reference to. Marijuana? I haven’t seen the movie in years.

    So she liked the movie. 7.9/10.

    This was bad. It was a bad video. But I watched it. All of it. That’s more than I can say for the dreck that Tony from Hack the Movies releases. This was like a 16 minute video. I can’t watch 16 minutes of Tony’s shit. Same with Newt. Newt and Tony make absolutely unwatchable videos.

    So this Mint Salad video was bad but not unwatchable. It probably helped that I saw the movie. Also, the fact that it wasn’t some horror piece of shit.

  • Polish Roommate and Date with a Drunken Chinese-American Woman

    I was living with these Sri Lankan guys in Wembley. I mentioned that when I moved in, there was an empty room. That room was filled by an Indian guy. A gay Indian guy.

    He was a creep. He would come on to me. I clearly expressed zero interest but he would persist. He worked as a nurse.

    My roommate went back to Sri Lanka. So they found a replacement roommate. This guy was from Poland. He was doing something in IT. He was in his mid 20s, I guess.

    He was fine. I guess. He was always awkwardly looking for a girlfriend, though. It was uncomfortable. I went to a clothing shop with him. It was Primark. Primark sells heavily discounted clothes. It’s where very poor people go. I bought a belt from there for £1. That belt lasted for like ten years. It was the best £1 that I ever spent. But still, the store was for completely impoverished people.

    So we go to the store, he’s looking for like a summer jacket. He tries one on and then he asks the totally disinterested South Asian staff member how it looks. She gives him a strange look and says, “It looks fine” and then hurried off.

    Primark is not the sort of store where you have a personal assistant helping you with the clothes. It’s just mobs of poor people tearing through bins of £5 shirts and whatnot.

    This guy showed me a picture of his ex-girlfriend from when he was living in Poland. She was smoking hot. And this guy was not attractive. So I asked why he’s not with this woman any more. He just said, “It’s in the past.”

    Anyway, we went to a pub a couple of times. I didn’t mind getting a drink with him. At this point, I was working sporadically and I also had Job Seeker’s allowance coming in when I wasn’t working. So I had some money for this sort of thing. But he always immediately went off and tried to pick up chicks. And he wanted me to help. I don’t want to do that. So it was uncomfortable. And he never got a single phone number from any of this.

    We also went to a pub one time with this gay Indian guy. We were about to go into one place, and this Indian guy said, “I can’t go in there.” And we asked what he was talking about. He said, “I can’t go in there because of this” and he pointed at his skin colour. We said of course he can. So he reluctantly agreed.

    We get in and the entire place starts staring at us. It was all white, presumably British people. The bartender comes over to us and in a kind of sarcastic tone asks what we want. This Polish guy says, “Let’s just go.”

    I’ve never seen anything like that. I’ve had a black girlfriend for many years. I took her all over London. There’s never been an issue. But clearly, this was some kind of racist establishment.

    So we went to a different pub. And this Indian guy is telling us about what kind of guys he likes. He likes young white guys. He’s pointing out guys in the bar who he wants to have sex with. Shit like this. I don’t want to hear this.

    And I told this Polish guy, before we went to the pub, that this Indian guy is gay. He said, “How do you know?” I said, “From his accent.” He clearly had a camp voice. The Polish guy said, “You can’t tell if somebody is gay from their accent.” Fine.

    The guy was clearly gay but the Polish guy couldn’t tell because he wasn’t familiar with the gay voice that we all know exists. Maybe it was because he wasn’t as familiar with English as a native speaker would be.

    Another Sri Lankan guy also moved in. He moved in with a couple of other Sri Lankan guys. So there were three guys sharing one tiny room.

    This guy was a recovering drug addict. He talked about how he used to have a job and money and bitches and whatever and he lost it all. So he’s trying to rebuild his life. Okay, great. Glad to hear it.

    He asked to borrow my tv. Little weird but…okay?

    He had it for up to like two weeks. He would bring it back and then ask for it back a short time later.

    The Polish guy told him to just watch tv here with us. But he didn’t want to do that.

    And this guy told me, because he saw that I was getting annoyed with these tv borrowing requests, that he doesn’t have a computer or anything. The tv is his only way to pass the time. And he said that he knows it’s not my problem but that’s the situation. So whatever. I’d let him “borrow” the tv.

    He was also really…he had a strong personality. Always wanted to talk. And it’s just not me. I find it uncomfortable.

    Anyway, back to this Polish guy. He had a real problem with noise while trying to sleep. He asked me to stop typing so he could go to sleep. I was playing some game. I had a computer by this point. It was like £400. One of the cheapest computers I could find. So…that’s ridiculous but whatever. So I just looked at the internet. Just clicked my mouse.

    So then he asked if I can stop clicking. I nearly lost my shit. Clicking the mouse is too loud for this guy. How is it possible?

    We lived right by a fairly busy street. The ambient noise of traffic was ever present. That didn’t bother him.

    I also snore. That didn’t bother him.

    But clicking? Fuck you. So I complained to the guy who owned the place or was the head tenant or whatever he was and he agreed that it’s absurd but what is he going to do?

    He also complained about the saxophone lessons that the guy who owned the place started taking. He would get really annoyed when the lesson would start. But it didn’t bother me in the slightest. This guy is learning the saxophone. Good for him. What do I care?

    So anyway, shortly after these noise complaints, this Polish guy moved out. He was moving in with some other Polish people. Are other Polish people going to be more conscientious than I was? Certainly not from my experience. But who knows? Maybe he got lucky.

    And then I moved out shortly thereafter. Because they were looking for a new roommate for me, it was all South Asian guys, and they all made a face when they saw me. So in order to make it easier for this guy to find another person to move in, I decided to move out. I just found a place down the street with some Indian guys and an Australian aborigine guy.

    The Indian guy also moved out shortly before everyone else did. Just one day, he said that he was going back to India. He had a fight with his boyfriend or something.

    So how to sum up the experience? The Polish guy was trying to be friendly. And I tried to be friendly. But I just wasn’t very good with that kind of stuff.

    Same with the guy who would borrow my tv. Same with my previous roommate. Same with everyone there. They were all fine, I guess, but I just hated having roommates. I wish that I would have been more outgoing and friendly but that’s just not me. So what are you going to do?

    Also during this time, I started talking to an Asian woman from California. I met her from some British band’s message board. We started talking. I told her that I was an American and I moved to London and she said that she wants to do that too.

    I told her that it’s not possible. You need a visa or citizenship in an EU country but she was determined.

    The reason that she wanted to move here is because she was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend and she was given probation or something and had to do some kind of anger management course. So this was a red flag but whatever. I’m a taekwondo master. I could probably take her.

    We’re talking more and more and she’s actually planning to move to London. With no legal right to stay here. And she had a good job. She was working in a bank or something. She recently graduated from university. She had some kind of finance degree.

    I told her repeatedly that this is a bad idea, she can’t stay, and it’s absurd. She’s going to break her probation over this, lose her job at the bank, and…for what? She has absolutely no plan. And her life is going reasonably fine. Who cares about these anger management classes? Just finish the classes and you’re done. Maybe move after your probation is over.

    No. She wanted to move right away. She also didn’t like her parents. I don’t know. It was the usual Chinese parents thing. This woman brought dishonour to the family so they were disappointed in her.

    Originally, she asked if she can move in with me but I couldn’t do that. I was living in a shared place.

    So she quickly found somebody else. Just some random English guy agreed to let her stay with him. She found him from Couchsurfing dot com or something.

    She would ask stuff like, “Do you want to have sex with me?” but I knew that the meeting was not going to go well. I’m a witty guy in texts and emails. I’m okay on the phone. But in person, it was bad. So I didn’t want to build things up. Let’s just meet up first and then see where we stand on the fornicating issue.

    We talked for a month, I guess? I don’t know.

    So one day I get a text saying, “I’m in London. Do you want to meet me at the bar?”

    By the way, she was an alcoholic. That’s why she beat her boyfriend. She was drunk at the time.

    So…fuck. Okay.

    I get there and she’s drunk off her ass. And she’s with this random dude who she met from Couchsurfing dot com or whatever.

    I had a hard time comprehending what was going on. Why would she ask me to meet her when she’s already fall over drunk and she’s with this other guy? This is weird. Who does this?

    So we have some awkward chat, the three of us. Even awkward by my standards. And then the guy says, “You’ve talked to each other for a long time. I’ll let you catch up.” And he goes to the toilet or something.

    Then she grabs my ass and starts French kissing me.

    I found this all very strange. Even if this happened today, where I’m much better in social situations, where I can be charming, where I can be smooth with the ladies, I still would be completely bamboozled by this. I was confused and insulted. Why would she want to meet me when she’s drunk off her ass and with another guy? And then she’s rubbing all over me?

    It’s not how I roll. So I drank my beer in record time, took her aside, and said, “If you want to meet again, while sober, and without this guy, let me know. But I’m not going to continue this” and I left.

    I got a couple of drunken voicemails that night. In one of them, you can hear this lecherous English guy saying, “Let’s go back to my place.”

    So the next day, I texted her back and expressed bewilderment that she thought that I wanted to meet this guy but asked if she wanted to do anything today. So the guy responds back. He was on her phone. Or maybe it was his number that she gave me. And he says something like, “She can’t meet up today but maybe tomorrow.”

    We did meet up again. Just her and I. And she was sober. But she was also a giant bitch. So we enjoyed a delicious meal at Quiznos. Then we went to a bank. She wanted to deposit her birth certificate and shit like this in a safe deposit box. It costs money, of course, and she wasn’t even living in the country but she brought all of her documents with her and she was really concerned about keeping them safe. Then we did some shopping. I don’t remember what for. She was looking for something. She didn’t find it.

    Then that was it. She was going to Germany or somewhere the next day. Staying with some more strange men who she found on Couchsurfing dot com. We didn’t talk any more after that.

    But I would periodically check out some social media that she had. She was in different parts of Europe for about six months. Then she was in an Israeli commune for about another six months. Then she was living in New York. She was doing some menial job there for a couple of years. Then she was living in the Middle East for a few years.

    I don’t know what she was doing while she was doing all of this European and Middle Eastern travel. I assume prostitution. How else could she afford this?

    She was also constantly posting pictures of herself with different men. When she was in the Middle East, it was random middle aged or older men in those robes and shit.

    Then, after like 10 years of this, she moved back with her parents.

    Why did she never get married? She had absolutely no problem meeting guys. Nobody met her standards, I guess.

    So now she’s 40 years old, single, unemployed, living with her elderly parents, and she regularly talks about wanting to go to Switzerland or the Netherlands for that so-called suicide machine. I’m not joking. And she’s been in this situation for like five years now.

    I warned her from the beginning that it was a bad idea to come to the UK when you have no legal right to be here and no plan. Had she just stayed where she was, she very well could be making good money in the banking industry today. But she threw it all away…on nothing. She had no fucking plan at all.

    You can’t help people. People are not going to take your advice. It’s like when I write about Newt wasting his life on idiotic ideas that obviously will never be successful. Anyone with a brain knows that these ideas are doomed to fail but Newt is not going to listen. He’s going to march straight ahead to calamitous failure.

    Or how I’ve written about Erin for the past four years. How these abysmal videos are never going to become popular. Her scheme of getting with Mike will not overcome her obvious total disinterest and lack of knowledge about video games. Not to mention her negative charisma. But she’s still plugging away, making her $3000/year.

    It’s not that I’m Nostradamus. Any fucking moron can see that these plans, or lack of plans, are not going to work. But I don’t know. It’s like we live in a determinist universe. You can’t interfere with the timeline.