Gamer Girls

Erin has worn this before.

Oh, here it is:

The search option on this site is great. I wonder what other shit I can add to the sidebar.

So she’s wearing this zero-effort nurse costume. AGAIN. It’s a reference to some Blink 182 album but not a favourable one. The woman on the Blink 182 cover had breasts.

So Probe Entertainment. Erin is all about Probe Entertainment. She knows all of the games from Probe Entertainment. And she’s going to tell you all about them in this four minute video.

The outfit is a reference to rectal probing for like a prostate check. Erin snaps her glove. That’s sexy, right? Getting a prostate exam from Erin? I don’t know. I guess that somebody thinks that this is sexy. Erin apparently thinks that this is sexy. She thinks that people are jerking off to this. They’re jerking off to a nearly 40 year old woman, with no job, no personality, never done anything in her life, and she’s average-looking at best. Is this a fetish for anyone?

0:15 – Wikipedia dot com.

“So let’s look at four random games that probably infilitrated our lives at some point.”

Well…not your life, Erin. Why continue the charade?

Then she starts talking about Alien 3 for the NES. I’ve never played it, Erin. Have you? Tell us about it.

1:00 – She talks about Alien 3 for a few seconds and then just immediately moves into Pagemaster. No transition. The video doesn’t even take a one second pause between games. She’s just immediately into Pagemaster.

You guys all know Pagemaster, right? No. I’ve never heard of this. I’ve certainly never played any of the games. But fortunately, Erin is here to tell us all about it and share her personal experiences of playing the game as a child.

She says that she saw the movie as a child, which is astonishing. She actually did something? She also went to birthday parties that had Pagemaster wrapping paper. What a bizarre, pointless, and uninteresting story that is.

2:00 – Daffy Duck in Hollywood. You guys all know this one, right?

No. I’ve never played it, Erin. Never even heard of it. Lucky for us, Erin will give a fantastic, in-depth review of the game.

2:45 – Batman Forever. I never played this either. But surely Erin will bring the goods.

Then that’s the video. This was total dogshit. And I’m pretty sure that Mike played all of these games within the past five years or so and her complaints all seemed to be complaints that I remember Mike making. I don’t think that it’s a coincidence. Mike should have got “help” credit for this video.

And she only appeared in this zero effort nurse constume for like 10 seconds. Eight seconds at the beginning of the video and two seconds towards the end.

This was awful. How could she possibly think that this video was worth releasing? All of her videos for the past two years at least have been this level of absolute dog shit. She’s totally given up on making videos. It’s just these zero-effort videos now. Her fake carpal tunnel syndrome doesn’t allow her to put any effort into the videos any more.

A lot of horny comments. I won’t even dignify them by copying and pasting them.

She was so proud of this video, or at least the thumbnail, that she posted this on Twitter. How? How could she possibly think that this is good? It’s an obviously unflattering comparison.

The problem is that you get these horny men who inundate women with compliments. You see this everywhere. Internet dating, social media, whatever. No matter what the woman looks like there will be guys out there talking about how hot she is. And the reason that these guys do this is because they’re trying to get something going with these women. And they’re desperate. And they’re saying this to EVERY woman.

But women don’t seem to realise this. So they internalise this. “Oh, this guy thinks that I’m hot. I must be hot.” And then you get shit like a 35 year old woman who’s average-looking at best, thinking that she’s a hot chick and everybody wants to have sex with her. No. These are just desperate, horny men who are saying this to EVERYONE.

It creates delusion. That’s why you get fucking Johanna out there taking pictures of herself in lingerie and posting them on the internet. “Well, Horseface says that I’m hot. Kris Glavin says that I’m hot. I must be hot.”

No. You’re not hot. You’re confusing a genuine compliment with horny losers who are saying this shit to everybody.

I don’t know what the answer is. It’s a broken system. The internet is to blame. Before the internet, compliments were rare and only dished out when deserved so women had a somewhat accurate idea of where they fell in the hot chick department. Only hot chicks got compliments on their appearance. And even then, somewhat rarely.

Now, some fucking 300 pound woman with the body of a truck driver can put some pictures on the internet and be absolutely swamped with compliments about how hot she is.

It’s easy to give compliments on the internet. Anybody can do it. You don’t risk embarassment by the woman being creeped out or not into you. There’s nothing for men to lose. So they’ll say this to EVERYBODY and then maybe one woman in 10,000 will end up having sex with them as a result of this compliment. But the other 9,999 all think that they’re hot now too. So these women’s standards all go up.

It’s a whole problem and it needs to be addressed perhaps at a government level but I don’t have a solution. We can’t have a society where Erin or Johanna or Horseface think that they’re hot chicks. It’s ruining society.

Erin is a 4. Horseface is a 3. Johanna is a 2. But they all think that they’re 9s or 10s. It’s not a sustainable system. Because these women all now think that they deserve a man who’s a 9 or a 10. No. It’s not how it works. It’s not reality.

This video is under four minutes in length. According to the thumbnail, she’s going to be talking about Cool Spot, Chester Cheetah, and the Noid. You know…corporate mascots from the 1980s. Erin aka Cykill1986 was allegedly born in 1987.

By the way, I was watching a Mike stream recently and he claimed that the Cykill1986 account is his. It probably is but why would he use the name Cykill1986? He was born in 1980. Is he trying to pick up chicks on his Playstation account? Chicks who are interested in guys with Gobot names? Would the six year age difference even change anything? There is NOBODY who is going to be interested in ANYONE who has a Gobots Playstation username.

And his account was completely locked down anyway. There was certainly no picture of him on his account. You couldn’t even see what fucking games he has. So why didn’t he just go with Cykill1980? It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Who is he trying to fool with this? And to what end?

0:00 – “I miss the days of turning the television on and seeing food mascots like the Noid, Cool Spot, and Chester Cheetah gracing the airwaves.

I remember all of these characters. I’m going to guess that the Noid stopped appearing in commercials in 1988. I’ll say that Cool Spot stopped in 1992. Chester Cheetah was probably the last to go. I’ll say 1994 for Chester Cheetah.

Reminder: Erin was born in 1987.

Now let’s look this up. Maybe I can find official end dates for these characters.

Noid was 1986 to 1995. That’s much later than I thought. It ended because a mentally ill guy with the last name of Noid thought that the commercials were about him and he held up a Domino’s restaurant. I remember that story.

The only information about Cool Spot that I can find is that he appeared in commercials during the early 1990s.

Chester Cheetah is allegedly still appearning in some form or another but in terms of mainstream, traditionally animated commercials, I think that that stopped in 1997 or so.

So the oldest Erin could have been when she saw these characters was 11. That’s old enough to remember them but she was watching them when the characters were on their way out. Nobody gave a shit about the noid in 1992. Except for that one guy, I guess.

Why doesn’t she make *nostalgia* videos for things that are appropriate to her age? Things that she actually saw?

She’s said before that she never saw a single episode of Friends. Or Seinfeld. The two most popular shows of the 1990s.

But she does talk about Buffy. A show from the 2000s.

It’s accurate. I don’t take any issue with her talking about Buffy. That’s a show that she apparently saw and the timeframe fits. The show ran from 1997 to 2003. She would have been 10 to 16 years old.

I’m ten years older than Erin and it fits with tv shows that I’m *nostalgic* for. So we’re talking 1987 to 1993. Mr Belvedere. Perfect Strangers. Small Wonder. Shit like this.

But I’m not talking about shows from 1977 to 1983. I wasn’t even fucking born for the early part of those dates. I have no idea what was on television at the time. I’ve never seen a single episode of Charlie’s Angels. I don’t even know what it’s about.

She does this shit because she knows that her audience is comprised largely of horny, mentally retarded men in their 40s. So she makes videos pretending to know about this shit. Poorly.

Then there’s a picture that she took from the Dinosaur Dracula website. This is FLAMING homosexual who does *nostalgia* content. He’s been doing this for like 20 years. He has a blog. I remember going to it regularly, back before it became Dinosaur Dracula. It was called X-Entertainment or something. He would mostly post around Halloween, a very popular holiday for gay men. “Hey guys! Remember Double Bubble?” Shit like this.

Anyway, apparently Erin talks to this guy now. I saw him posting on her Twitter before.

0:30 – Now she’s talking about the games that had these characters in them. “It didn’t matter if the games were good or not, we were just happy to play anything that contained these characters.”

Really? “We”? Erin was sitting at home, in 1990, playing Yo Noid? With a diaper full of stool?

You know what I remember from 1980? NOTHING. I was two years old. But somehow, Erin was really living it up. Playing Yo Noid on the NES. And she was happy to do it. She just wanted to play a game based on her favourite advertising mascot the Noid. He ruins pizzas.

Cool Spot. Released in 1993. You know what I remember from 1983? NOTHING. I was five years old. But in 1993, Erin, as a five year old, was chilling with the game based on the 7-Up mascot.

Does she think that we’re all fucking retarded? She was not playing these fucking games. Fuck off. She never even heard of them until she was desperate to make a video and asked Mike for some ideas.

The Chester Cheetah game was released in 1992, by the way.

“Because we already had an emotional connection to them from seeing them for years on television.”

AS A FIVE YEAR OLD? She had an emotional connection to Cool Spot, as a five year old, from watching him for years on television.

Why is she incapable of honesty? Just tell us what you like, Erin. Enough of the bullshit. We don’t need to hear FAKE interests. What’s the point of that? Tell us something that you actually like?

She never fucking did anything. Her parents were fucking monsters who locked her in a closet for her entire childhood. And when you do that, this is what you get. Erin Plays. A total sociopath who can’t tell the truth and only exists to use people.

0:45 – “Drinking soda out of a Spuds MacKenzie glass.”

I barely remember the charter. I was a little kid when these commercials were on. And they were beer commercials. I wasn’t interested in beer.

But Erin, who’s ten years younger than me, is pretending that she’s all about Spuds MacKenzie. The character stopped appearing in advertising in 1989. Erin was two years old. Do two year olds drink from glasses?

“Going to the grocery store and picking up a bag of Cheetos with your grandmother. They weren’t just mascots. they were a part of our lives.”

Interesting that she didn’t say that she went to the grocery store with her parents. Her parents wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.

But yeah. Mr Peanut was a part of Erin’s life. AS A TWO YEAR OLD. And she remembers this. She’s a big Mr Peanut fan. She makes Mike dress up in a top hat, cane, and monocle before he has anal sex with her in exchange for Youtube promotion.

1:00 – “And maybe, just maybe we felt more comfortable with them than we did with our own friends and family.”

Well, I can see Erin prefering corporate mascots over her particular family. But not corporate mascots from 1989. Not as a two year old. It’s patently absurd.

1:00 – Then there’s a waving American flag and Erin says, “God bless Cool Spot, God bless Chester Cheetah, and God bless the United State of America.”

What is this? Some unbelievably weak attempt at comedy. Some of that delightful female comedy that the world loves. But it’s all preposterous. We’ve already established that Erin’s CAN’T POSSIBLY have any memories of these characters. Just by the fucking years that these characters ceased to be on television in relation to Erin’s date of birth. Why does she do this?

1:15 – Then she starts “reviewing” the games. We’ve got two minutes of this shit. She’s going to “review” three games in two minutes. Three games that she OBVIOUSLY has never played before.

1:45 – The game is cute. Great stuff, Erin.

2:00 – The SECOND reference to McKids in this video. McKids is a game that she’s played on stream, for money. That’s the only reason she knows anything about it.

2:15 – Then she reviews Yo Noid for like ten seconds. Literally ten seconds. But this game has so much *nostalgia* for Erin. I don’t get it. She was playing this game as a two year old. She can’t give it more than ten seconds. All she said is that she can’t get into the game and doesn’t like it. Well, okay, but didn’t you like it as a two year old? Tell us some stories about how you used to play this game as a two year old.

2:30 – Some Chester Cheetah game that she’s never played before. She likes the colours. Great stuff, Erin. And she “reviewed” this one for about 15 seconds. She also “reviewed” numerous Cool Spot games for like ten seconds each.

3:00 – Now Kool-Aid Man for the Atari 2600 gets a shout out. This is a game that was released in 1983. Erin was playing this out in the ether somewhere, in whatever realm that one occcupies before you’re born. She was a collection of cells in her father’s ass just chilling, playing some Kool Aid Man on her Atari 2600.

Oh, I almost missed this. I assumed that she was talking about Kool-Aid Man on the Atari 2600. Because that’s how I played it. But the game she’s holding is the Intellivision port. She mistakenly calls it “Coleco” and then corrects it in post-production by having “Intellivision” appear on screen. Can’t be bother to do another take.

3:00 – The THIRD reference to McKids in this video.

3:15 – “I miss the wackiness of food mascots. Let’s have a Geico Gecko game on the Switch because why not.”

Oh, sure. Who doesn’t enjoy eating their car insurance policy?

But aside from the fact that the Geico Gecko is OBVIOUSLY not a food mascot, this is an age-appropriate example that she gave. When Erin is forced to come up with corporate mascots, without the aid of old NES games, this is the shit that she comes up with. Corporate mascots from the 2000s. This is what she remembers. It makes perfect sense.

What doesn’t make sense is pretending to be *nostalgic* for characters that haven’t been seen on television since you were two years old.

“Why do these mascots mean anything to me?”

They don’t. You’re just completely full of shit. You enjoy lying. It’s the only thing you know. You’re incapable of telling the truth.

3:15 – Chester Cheetah has been around my whole life and it’s good to see him around.”

Has he really? According to Wikipedia, the character had a new voice actor in 1997. That’s probably around the time that the character was being phased out. In 2003, they say that there was a CGI Chester Cheetah. I certainly don’t remember that. Then from 2008 to the present, he was internet only. Has anybody on earth ever been to OrangeUnderground dot com? No. But Erin wants us to believe that she’s all about Chester Cheetah. She’s followed his whole career. It’s fucking ridiculous.

3:30 – “The world kind of sucks now.”

No it doesn’t. You suck. You suck big time. Get your life together and suddenly you might find that the world doesn’t suck. The problem is you, Erin. You’re getting fucked in the ass every night for $3.000/year and bi-weekly trips to visit your parents in California. Yeah. That sucks. That’s a sucky existence. But get a fucking job and start behaving like a functioning adult and then you might find that your outlook on life changes.

Then she ends the video by talking about Mr Peanut. She talked about Mr Peanut a number of times in this video. But it’s totally unrelated to anything. The video was supposed to be about the Cool Spot, Noid, and Chester Cheetah games.

This was fucking awful. Even by Erin’s standards. No effort AT ALL was put into this video. And it’s just four minutes of lies. What’s the point of this?

She can’t possibly be making much money from this. If she was, wouldn’t she be more motivated to make videos? She’d be making them regularly. And putting effort into them.

• Are you old enough to remember all of this? You look young af”

No. Even the fucking retards on her channel don’t buy this shit. It doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why the fake *nostalgia* for stuff that you can’t POSSIBLY have remembered seeing?

Mike has the same affliction. “Hey guys! Remember the A-Team cartoon? And the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon? That’s my era!”

Really? Because I’m two years older than you and have absolutely no memory of those cartoons. They’re before my time.

• Erin, are you running for Congress???? “…and G-d Bless the United States of America.””

Erin replies with, “Nope, I’m just insane :D”

Oh, look at me. Aren’t I kooky and “random”? That’s funny, right?

No. No, it’s not funny, Erin. It’s painfully unfunny.

And that guy censored God because…he has an Arabic name. Do Muslims do that? I know that Jews do. Well, I can see Muslims doing it too.

• “The reason you notice the simularities with the GameBoy version of Cool Spot and M.C. Kids is because its a sprite swap of the same game 😛 | Don’t feel bad for not knowing that, I interviewed the dev and he didn’t know that has game got sprite swapped either lol”

Erin replies with, “I had no idea about this, wild! I definitely need to look up game play lol.”

So Erin didn’t even know. Erin is a big McKids fan. She played it once, on stream for money. And she didn’t realise that this Cool Spot game, which she played for a few seconds, for the purposes of this Youtube video, ARE THE SAME FUCKING GAME.

What a gamer!

She just got caught out in another lie. This is all that she does. But these fucking retards overlook it because they’re just there to masturbate.

• “U guys have a staus of celebrity not many can match so if u only stay on you tube well there’s a lot of ppl who know u guys all exist and James Rolf pioneered this type of fame something u can be very proud of even if u never make one Hollywood appearance u done things in ur life most ppl can only dream of ppl like me this girl the fact she likes games and is pretty and on camera has a really chill personality makes it seem possible to get a woman like her they far and few between but good luck to the whole crew here”

This guy is admitting that he’s only here to jerk off. And Erin replied with something totally banal, as usual.

This is like Erin’s tenth stream of Splatterhouse. She apparently beat it in this no doubt heavily-edited video. And here’s what she had to say on Twitter:

“Yay! Finally beat Splatterhouse on TG-16! I love this game. I’m probably going to stream it a bit more though because I want to get better at beating it”

So even though she’s already streamed the game like ten times, and even Erin’s “fans” are sick to the back teeth with this shit, she’s going to continue to stream it. Why? If you like that game, that’s fantastic. Video games are fun, aren’t they, Erin? But just play them in your spare time like a normal person. It doesn’t have to always be on stream, for money.

And indeed, she has apparently played this again. As here:

“Showing Mike how to play Splatterhouse”. Because Mike is a total video game noob and he needs a pro gamer like Erin to explain the game to him. Erin, whose only experience with the game are these ten fucking streams that she recently did. But now she’s an expert. Now she’s going to show Mike how it’s done.

It’s fucking ridiculous. Nobody wants this. Play a different fucking game. Not Castlevania. Not Splatterhouse. Not Vampire Survivor. Something else. There are millions of games out there. Millions of games that you’ve never played before. Try them out.

There is absolutely no way that anybody can be interested in this. Even ShiShi must be going to these streams and saying, “Fuck. Splatterhouse AGAIN? I think I’m going to jerk off to Retro Ali’s anime girl stream instead.”

0:45 – “I still think it looks like those bats are wearing lipstick.”

The triumphant return of Erin’s favourite “joke”, “X looks like Y”. And evidently, she’s told this one before. On a previous stream of this game. So not only do you get a stream of the exact same game over and over again, you also get the exact same fucking “jokes” over and over again. “Jokes” that were never funny to begin with.

“It looks like those fake candy wax lips or whatever they are.”

Riveting stuff, Erin. And I’m in fucking hysterics. You’re a real Paula Poundstone.

3:30 – “I wish I could go to a real-life Splatterhouse, except the monsters weren’t real.” “I just want to go to a house like this and whack obstacles like this. I think that would get rid of a lot of frustrations.”

Oh. Very interesting.

“People are always like, ‘Oh my god. You’re so calm.’”

Not calm, Erin. Boring as fuck.

5:30 – A horntard compliments Erin’s top. Because for once she’s wearing something slightly tight. She has to give the horntards something since she’s been playing this game repeatedly. Something to keep their attention. “Look at my small boobs, retards.”

6:00 – She’s reminiscing about beverages that she DIDN’T drink.

7:30 – ShiShi gifts a sub. In other words, he gave Erin money. For this. He finds this entertaining. The tenth fucking Splatterhouse stream in a row from Erin.

9:00 – She says that she wants to play some music in this game on her bass guitar. But, “With all my hand issues, I can’t play it.”

Then she reveals that her guitar is still at her parents’ home. When is she going to move all of her stuff to Mike’s place? They’re been together for many years. This is the love of her life. Mike Matei. This isn’t just a buttsex for Youtube promotion thing. This is a real relationship. They’re soulmates.

But she still has a lot of stuff at her parents’ house. So she obviously thinks that this thing with Mike is just temporary.

9:15 – Pizza? I want pizza. I always feel so lame or like ten years old when people ask what my favourite food is and I say, ‘pizza’. But it is.”

Lame indeed, Erin. She gives the shittiest, most boring answers to absolutely everything.

10:15 – She reveals that she likes In and Out, which is a restaurant chain on “The West Coast”. She goes on to say that she likes the fries “well done”.

What the fuck? I’ve never heard of this. You’re asking for “well done” french fries? The good news is that every time she makes that absolutely idiotic request, the cook is spitting in her fries.

It’s like going to McDonalds and saying, “Can I have my fries medium-rare, please?” “Oh sure. No problem. Let me just wipe my ass on them first.”

11:45 – She dies. “I’m not ready for this. I’m not in the zone. The Auto Zone.”

Well, I’ll give her this. This was an actual joke. Not a good one, of course, but an actual joke. She’s referencing a defunct store. Auto Zone is defunct, right? Or are they still in business?

No, they’re still trading. Do they say “trading” in the US for when a business is still in operation? I don’t know.

But I went to an Auto Zone when I was 17. My friend was driving me home from school and he said that he wanted to return some items and asked if I would do it. I said that I would. He was driving me home, after all. Didn’t ask for payment or anything.

So he gives me like five bottles of windshield wiper fluid and some other shit. I say, “Are they really going to take all of this?” He says, “Yeah. I do it all the time. If they ask what happened, tell them that your car broke down.”

So I bring all of this shit in, put it on the counter, and ask for the money back. The guy looks at this pile of stuff and says, “What the hell happened?” I say that my car broke down. He said, “Oh. So you don’t need this shit any more.” I said, “No.” Then he gave me the money back.

But that’s some low-class shit. Why did he even have all of this windshield fluid? Why was he regularly returning stuff to Auto Zone?

12:00 – She’s reading from the chat. “Any gaming events in Boston this year? I don’t know of any.”

You don’t say. What do people possibly expect Erin to say to these types of questions? She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about video games, you fucking retards. What are you not understanding?

“As of this time, no. Not that I know of.”

There’s probably loads of video game shit going on in Boston now. But of course Erin doesn’t know. It’s like if somebody asked me, “Hey, are there are any upcoming Backstreet Boys events in Philadelphia” What the fuck do I know?

But I wouldn’t say, “No”, like Erin did. Because that implies that I’m somehow in the Backstreet Boys loop. I’m not. I have no fucking idea what Backstreet Boys shit is going on.

Why can’t she just admit that she has absolutely no interest in video games? It’s not like it’s even a question. Anybody with half a brain can watch her videos for two minutes and immediately realise that she knows nothing about video games and isn’t interested. So why continue this ridiculous facade?

So let’s look see what upcoming video game events are coming to Boston.

Oh, a little thing called PAX East is happening late March. From those braying jackasses at Penny Arcade.

And today, 8 February, there’s the highlight of my social calendar: The Queer Woman Board Game Speed Dating at Castle Island Brewing. Not strictly video game stuff but video game adjacent. Nerd shit, certainly. And maybe you’ll get a date out of it. That’s always good.

Wow. Tickets are sold out. At $30 each. How is it possible? Lot of sexy lesbians in Boston who enjoy board games, I guess.

20:15 – She’s reading from the chat. “Am I still collecting Masters of the Universe figures? I stopped because it’s just…there’s so many.”

She stopped right after she made that video where she showed the figures. The figures that Mike bought for her.

Why can’t she just admit it? Admit that you have absolutely no interest in any of this and you only do this shit for the videos. “Won’t that be admitting that I’m a total fraud?” Yes. Of course. But that’s already obvious to anyone with a modicum of intelligence. So you might as well admit to it.

Here’s the review of that video where she opened the He-Man figures:

That was in April 2021. Nearly two years ago. She talked about colours. The colours of the figures. Which colours she liked. She didn’t know the characters. She didn’t give a fuck about the characters. So what else is left to talk about? Colours, obviously.

And I’m not saying that Erin should be interested in He-Man. It was a cartoon for BOYS. And the show was cancelled before she was born. Why would any of this POSSIBLY appeal to Erin? It doesn’t. Obviously.

Then why make the video? Why pretend that you’re interested in He-Man? As a 33 year old woman? And you’re buying the toys?

It is completely ridiculous. Just admit that you only do this shit for the videos. NOBODY CARES. They’ll still watch. These people are straight up, no-fooling RETARDS. They’re going to watch no matter what you say or do. You’re not fooling anybody with this shit. They’re watching because they want to jerk off to a woman playing a video game. That’s their thing. They don’t care if you’re actually into it or not.

I’ve given this example before. It’s like porn for these people. When you’re watching porn, you don’t care if the woman is actually a qualified nurse. You just go along with the fantasy.

“Unless there’s something that I really want that’s cool…then maybe.”

So no. The answer is no, Erin. You will not be buying more Masters of the Universe figures. Why can’t you just say it? Unless you’re planning on making another Youtube video of the figures, you’re not going to buy any more.

Speaking of toys, what’s with Pegwarmers? It’s unwatchable now. The guy lost the podcast studio because all of the other Screenwave podcasts that used it, ceased to be. So now he’s just streaming from his home and it’s…bad. Bad audio. Bad everything.

He promised that he would still have guests but it would invariably done by Skype. I don’t want to watch that. The bad Skype audio and video.

This guy needs to invest in a table and some audio and/or video equipment. Then just do the videos from his fucking basement, as he is doing, but of watchable quality. If you have too much shit to have a decent setup, get rid of it. Sell some toys and invest the money in a table and equipment.

Anyway, back to super gamer grrl cum He-Man fan Erin Plays. She’s not going to beat this on this first attempt of the day. And I don’t want to watch any more. So I’m just going to skip to the end.

1:44:45 – Oh. Erin’s mouth is agape. ShiShi is cumming. Target practice for that retard. He’s imagining jizzing her mouth, in case I was being too subtle.

“I thought that there would be more of an ending.”

Then she starts rubbing her hands.

“I was getting nervous because, like, my hands were hurting and I don’t think that I can do another…another round of continues tonight.”

Uh huh. And here we get the fake carpal tunnel syndrome. Everything is a lie with Erin. Why can’t she be honest about anything?

1:46:15 – “Yeah, I’m going to try to beat it again.”

Why? If you just like the game, play it in your spare time. There’s no reason, whatsoever, to subject the horntards to this game any more. What’s going to be any different? It’s the same fucking game.

“Not tonight because I need to rest my hands but maybe tomorrow or the next day. Because I want to get good.”

Yeah. Fine. Get good in your spare time. Not on stream, for money.

How many hours would it take to get good at this game? Hundreds, right? She’s going to play this for hundreds of hours, on stream, for money? The horntards are going to riot. They’ll watch just about anything but there’s a limit. This is crossing the line.

1:47:45 – She’s at the end screen. The credits have rolled. And now the word “End” is on the screen. And she keeps saying, “What’s going to happen? I’m nervous.”

NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN, YOU MORON. YOU CAN’T SEE THE GIANT WORD “END” ON THE SCREEN? THAT MEANS THAT THE GAME IS OVER.

1:49:15 – Then there’s an edit. And she says, “Sorry for the short stream but I will come back and we’ll try to beat it again. Because I’m addicted right now. So I hope you guys aren’t tired of it. I don’t think — I feel like Castlevania and Splatterhouse, I just don’t get tired of it. And I feel like you guys are my people and you also don’t get tired of those two games. So it’s all good. I also want to play Vampire Survivors again because I haven’t played it in over a month and for a while I was playing it a little too much because it’s so addicting and I like it.”

Uh huh. She’s “addicted”. Can’t stop playing these same three games over and over and over again. That’s fine. That’s how it is with anyone. You play a game for a while, then you play something else, then you might come back to that game later.

But this is if you’re playing these games in your spare time. On Twitch, the idea is to play games that OTHER PEOPLE want to watch. You don’t just beat the same three games into the ground. People are sick of this shit. Even the retards who watch Erin’s videos.

There are, obviously, streamers who only play one game. But do you want to watch this over and over again? Erin, who sucks at video games, playing Splatterhouse and Castlevania and Vampire Survivor ad nauseum?

I believe that the people who only stream one game tend to be playing online first or third person shooters. Or at least they’re playing some online game, against other people. So you’re getting something different every time. Can this guy beat the other people?

They’re not playing 30 year old linear games. Poorly. And Splatterhouse sucks dick. It’s a bad game.

I guess that Erin just doesn’t want her $3,000/year. She’s just going to throw her “career” away.

So then what is she going to do? Get a job at Auto Zone? I’d be the first person there returning a crate of windshield washing fluid. Blue windshield washing fluid, like they had in the 1990s. And if she gave me any attitude, I’d ask to speak to the manager. And the manager would be Newt Wallen. And he would not resolve things to my satisfaction. So I’d write an angry email to corporate headquarters and they’d offer me a canned apology and a $25 gift card.