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Erin’s Latest Obsession: Landfills
I really try not to buy everything on amazon and support the remaining department stores we have, but shit is rarely in stock these days when I do try to look in person. It’s a bummer. *sighs in defeat and goes to amazon*
Today’s issue was replacing my kcup coffee maker. I’m done with the keurig brand cuz they break on me and I hate contributing to landfills. But they seem to have a chokehold on most in-person stores.
And I know it’s ironic that I’m talking about landfills while using kcups. I’m human, okay. I try my best.
Kcup coffee maker. Let’s look this up.
Oh, it’s one of those single serving coffee making machines where you put a little plastic cup of coffee into the machine and it will make you a cup of coffee. I saw one of these at a job that I had. We’d get a token every day to use at the machine. It was fine, I guess. I’d get a hot chocolate.
But we’re talking about home use. Is it wasteful? I mean, I guess there are less wasteful ways to brew coffee. I think that I’ve like two sips of coffee in my life and it was disgusting so I’m not an authority on coffee. But I believe that the traditional method is to brew a pot of coffee using a filter, which is probably biodegradeable, as opposed to these individual cups.
I can understand not wanting to brew an entire pot of coffee but can’t you just brew less? You go through more filters, I guess. Although, I believe you can reuse the filters, with diminishing results each time.
In my research, I’m not entirely sure that you can brew just one cup with a regular coffee machine. And there are some many “cute” references about how these people are addicted to coffee. What a way to live. And people just make jokes about it. “Oh, I’m completely hooked on this disgusting beverage.” People don’t talk about their alcohol or drug addictions this openly but caffeine is fair game.
And Erin is ruining her teeth with this shit, and possibly her zombie gums. Does coffee have an effect on gums, zombie or otherwise? Let’s look this up.
Coffee is quite acidic. The acid in coffee can weaken the enamel on your teeth, making them more susceptible to decay and cavities. If you develop cavities, it can lead to gum disease if not treated. Additionally, drinking acidic drinks like coffee can irritate your gums, especially if you already have gum problems.
Well, there you go. Who has worse gum problems than old “Zombie Gum” Erin? So yet another reason to stop drinking coffee.
But this wasn’t an isolated landfill reference. She also gave this bizarre, apocolyptic tweet about Minecraft toys a few months ago.
This image evokes many emotions. This toy was designed by someone. Then it was manufactured and packaged. Now itās on a shelf. Then it will be on clearance. Then it will be in a discount store. And then a landfill along with the funko pops. The end of the planet is near.
What’s her beef with Minecraft? Is that toy any worse than the other billions of plastic toys out there?
And this is somebody who has thousands of unwanted old plastic video games just lying around collecting dust. And she made Mike buy her all of those He-Man figures for that week when she was all about He-Man and wanted to do a video about her short-lived passion. And she constantly talks about stupid “cute” toys that she allegedly wants.
So Mike, in a peculiar pre-emptive defence of his sugarbaby, says, “I will await the āwhy do you have to be negativeā smooth brains to appear.”
Talk about the actual issue, Mike. Not ad-hominen attacks on her mentally challenged fanbase, who you know are mentally challenged but still use derogatory comments like “smooth brains” in reference to them.
Why the sudden obsession with THIS PARTICULAR toy? It doesn’t make any fucking sense. It’s stupid. Who cares? There are a billion stupid plastic toys out there. Dollar Tree or whatever is full of complete shit that’s going to be played with once, broken, and then thrown out. At least this Minecraft toy appears to be reasonably well-made and has some kind of collectibility value. Better that it ends up on somebody’s shelf than in a landfill. I guess.
What is Erin even proposing? A return to wooden toys? So start cranking them out. Learn a trade. Open an Etsy shop like JOHN RIGGS.
Speaking of which, I was looking at his shop recently. He advertised it in a video where he begged people to subscribe to his channel and said that views were down. Well, maybe if you’d stop doing these cookie cutter “What (NES/Sega/Arcade/whatever) games were YOU playing in (whatever year)?” videos you’d get better results. Do the fucking nerd convention videos but SHOW WHAT YOU EAT. I found those at least entertaining. You’d see the fucking portion sizes that this guy would get. He’d order two meals and shit. But then he stopped showing the food and just showed the fucking games that people were selling. Who cares?
Anyway, JOHN RIGGS is selling all kinds of shit on his Etsy shop like it’s a Turkish bazaar. INCLUDING shitty plastic toys. Watch out, JOHN RIGGS. Erin and her new obsession with landfills is coming for you.
He sells what he describes as “action figures” but there’s no “action” to speak of. With a flagrant disregard for copyright protection, he makes pixel by pixel recreations of various Atari characters like Pitfall Harry or Donkey Kong from the Atari 2600 port. No articulation, of course, these are just solid, immovable figures. Statues. And he puts these figures onto a cardboard backing that’s full of copyrighted images of the game and whatever and it has a plastic bubble thing protecting the figure.
The figures are complete shit and he’s selling them for fifty bucks but I’m intrigued with how he did it. I assume that the figures are 3-d printed. But how did he get the packaging done? Does he have a deal with some sweatshop in China? Or is it some local printing company making these things? For fifty bucks each, I assume that he could afford to have this done locally.
He’s also selling his bizarre air fresheners. No idea why anybody would want those. He must have just had some agreement with a sweatshop that happened to sell air fresheners.
These non-action figures at least make a little more sense. And it’s unlikely that Atari is going to sue. Erin is surely outraged, though.
But why? Focus on the fucking companies churning this shit out, not the consumers. Smoke and dangerous chemicals are pouring out of these factories, destroying the atmosphere, poisoning rivers, killing the workers, but Erin wants us to stop buying anything that has plastic and paw through our garbage to recycle. Go fuck yourself. If you’re that passionate about it, go after the source. Write your fucking congressman. See how far that goes.
She makes videos where she’s surrounded by worthless plastic but she has the nerve to make comments like this. Make some biodegradeable toys. Why not? Mike is artistic. Fucking do something.
I suppose that wooden toys have their own ethical concerns. What about those Amish corn husk dolls?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_husk_doll
Oh, it’s an American Indian thing. “It’s always about the Indians with you.”
So what was I thinking of?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish_doll
Just ragdolls without faces. I knew they didn’t have faces. Same as the corn husk dolls.
Anyway, this would be good for Erin. She’d get in touch with her local Amish community. It would be an ethical, sustainable business. It would be a creative outlet. And she’d have a fucking job. Of sorts.
But maybe she’d be successful at this. She could make Sailor Moon Amish dolls, Britney Spears Amish dolls, and whatever third interest she might have. And the colours…oh my god, the colours. Full spectrum of the rainbow is available.
Yeah, she’d have to learn to sew and whatnot but what else is she doing with her life? She has nothing but time. Learn a trade. It would be fun and rewarding.
And she has a built-in market. The horntards would eat that shit up. Make the dolls out of your old underpants. Shishi and Joe from Game Sack would get into a bidding war for them.
Or what about sock monkeys? We know how popular the Power Pad video was. Make some sock monkeys out of your old socks. It would be “cute.” All of this would be “cute”. I should have mentioned that as my first thing to try to entice Erin to do this. Forget all of that bullshit about giving your life some meaning and saving the planet. It would be “cute.”
Mike is there to assist. He can help with the creative and artistic aspects.
Wait a minute. A zombie doll. An Amish zombie doll with no face other than fucked up gums. And sew a cute little rag coffee mug into its hand. Sell it as art. That’s what it is. Rural Pennsylvania folk art from the mentally challenged.
Erin could do an artistic collaboration with PushingUpRoses. She’s doing ceramics, last I checked. Put the doll inside a shitty little coffee mug made by PushingUpRoses.
Erin could do something with JOHN RIGGS as well. He obviously knows about the production side of things. Packaging and whatnot. Marketing. Distribution.
These are the sorts of things that Zombie Gums would do if she was GENUINELY interested in waste and plastics and whatnot. But she isn’t. She’s just a lazy moron who had nothing to say one day, so spewed that bullshit about landfills on Twitter.
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Hype is Growing for Erin’s Next Video
I should’ve started with shorter, easier to make videos to get back into regularly creating āØcontentāØ but instead I’ve been writing a WAY more in depth script than I had planned. I hope people watch it because I’m so into it! I think it’s done but I still need to film and edit.
if I decide to release some other things in the meantime that are faster to turn around I’ll post an update on patreon. I’m not sure yet. I already captured gameplay so maybe it won’t be too tedious. I’m just so happy the script is finally done!
She’s been writing the script for MONTHS. Can it possibly live up to everyone’s expectations? How is she possibly going to top her last video, “Going through a BIG box of games! NES, N64, SNES and more!” which was so fucking tedious that not even I, somebody who has a professional obligation to watch these videos, could watch more than a couple of minutes of it before turning it off in disgust.
The very idea that Zombie Gums has “scripts” for these videos is insane. It can’t be true. Take a look at this box video, for example.
0:00 – “Hey guys. I recently found this box in my close of games that I’ve been meaning to sort on my shelf but I just haven’t yet so I thought it would be fun to go through this box and see what’s inside.”
THAT was scripted? I mean, maybe it was? I don’t think that she was exactly talking off the cuff because she can’t talk off the cuff. But…this would be described as “scripted material”?
I assume that she just had notes that she jotted down right beforehand to get the verbage right. Or just thought things through in her zombie head before she started recording. But…this was all written out? Possibly months in advance? For this BOX video?
8:00 – I just went here randomly. “I really like Sexy Parodius. I think that is a fantastic game. These are schmups or cute em ups because they are very cute and the art is very colourful.”
THIS WAS SCRIPTED! It puts things in a whole new perspective. I thought that she was just a fucking idiot who would panic and revert to talking about the handful of games that she’s played on stream for money (e.g. Sexy Parodius) and cute things and colours. NO. SHE WROTE THIS OUT.
If she was going to write this out, why wouldn’t she do RESEARCH and mention games that she HASN’T played on stream, for money? Why would she write, “this is really cute” instead of, I don’t know, something that isn’t completely fucking brain dead? She could have just looked at the Wikipedia article of the game for some ideas of what to talk about. No. She wanted to talk about cute things and colours. She actually took the time to write that in a script.
I don’t want to get bogged down in this box video. There’s a reason I didn’t watch it. It was a new low for the channel that never had anything but rock bottom standards to begin with.
Well, actually, let’s check out the comments.
- “Wow. This is bad”
A surprising negative comment. Are people starting to turn?
- “Close your mouth! Every word you say we see your big top teeth. Itās creepy!”
Holy shit. A reference to her zombie gums?
I don’t see it. I always play these videos windowed but even full screen…she has braces, right? She’s had these for a long time, as far as I’m aware.
Maybe there is something fucked up with her teeth. I don’t think that her teeth are big but…I think she has braces and I’m just lazer-focused on her gums now, knowing that she has a corpse’s gums.
Yeah, I think her front teeth are kind of prominent and/or the right tooth next to her front teeth is pushed in. This is part of the reason why she has the braces, I guess. I don’t want to get into this level of detail about somebody’s teeth. It’s ridiculously shallow and nobody’s business. And nobody has perfect teeth, of course. But…it’s just the zombie gums thing. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m trying to figure out why exactly she got this disgusting procedure done.
Does she even have braces? Or are her teeth just gray? Am I seeing things? I’ve always thought that she had like those “invisible” braces.
Well, anyway, that guy suggested that Erin should keep her mouth closed for the video. It’s preposterous. We’d miss all of her scripted wisdom about cute things, colours, and games that she played once, on stream, for money.
- “is so cute n.n”
Well, there’s a guy who doesn’t mind some “big” teeth and zombie gums.
- “This is a surprise. I havenāt seen one of the Erin Plays videos pop up to watch in a long time”
There are a few comments like this. Erin replies with, “I’m still around.” Erin is so lax with making videos these days that people just assume that she’s done. Which, effectively, she is. The year is nearly half over and she made two videos.
- “Mike is so lucky to have you”
Oh, sure. Zombie Gums over here. What a catch.
- “So have you played Hello Kitty Island Adventure yet? (Yes, it’s a real game!)”
Erin replies with, “lol yes, a little bit. It’s very cute.” She played it on stream, for money, of course. I wonder how long it took Erin to script that reply.
- “You’re so… beautiful.”
Are these people not seeing all the dental issues?
I never saw it either. But now I can’t unsee it. Why did she have to make all of those boastful tweets about her zombie gums? It’s insane.
- “Thanks for going through this box of games Erin!”
It’s just unbelievable. “Thanks for this completely shit, zero effort video, Erin. I’ll take anything.”
I want to see a video about her fucking gums. Is that what this big upcoming video is going to be about? They should have filmed the procedure and then you can have Erin doing like a running commentary over it. Scripted, of course.
They used to show footage of actual surgeries on tv. I never watched it because it was fucking disgusting but I remember my older sister watching it. What channel could possibly have shown that, though? This was probably in the mid to late 1980s. Early days of cable, I guess. We didn’t have HBO or any of the premium channels. Would Public Access have shown something like that? I can’t believe that any channel would. PBS? There had to be some educational angle that they were going for. For any basement surgeons, I guess.
But this zombie gums video could have been like that. Mike is fucking filming this disgusting shit and Erin is completely passed out. It had to be done under general anesthesia, right? Do you want to be conscious when a dentist is carving tissue out of the roof of your mouth and then grafting it onto your putrid gums?
How is Erin going to possibly mention anything “cute” in that scenario? Well, she can focus on the background shit, I guess, like what she does in her normal videos. “That model of teeth is cute. That doctor’s mask reminds me of the kind of blue you’d see in the 2000s. Here I am vomiting blood after the procedure.”
What is she thinking with any of this? Three videos a year? She’s making about $4,000/year. What a life. Living with a man you don’t love for…what? Mike buys her off with video games that she doesn’t give a shit about, trips to visit her parents twice a month, and all of the unnecessary surgery she can handle. This is terrible. Wouldn’t getting a job and being with somebody you like be more fulfilling?
There are women who do this, of course. Get with rich men and use them for their money. But…this is bush league. Mike is giving her Sexy Parodius, domestic flights, and zombie gums. It’s not worth it. You’re going to throw your life away for that?
Anyway, this upcoming video is going to be huge.
Oh, she also posted this on BlueSky for the ten people who read that. And she re-blueskied something from the love of her life: Mike Matei.
“Hey guys! Remember those snap things?”
Yeah. I remember, Mike. Who gives a fuck? They were shit and you’re shit.
I had a friend put a few of them around his porch to prank the mailman. Like he’d step on them, it would make a slight snapping sound and then he’d piss his pants. I doubt anything happened. His mother probably found out and told him to knock it off. And even if he did go through with it, who cares? The mailman isn’t blind and even on the off chance that he did step on one, it probably would just crush, not make any sound.
There was another time, when a different friend brought them for some school band parade practice that we were doing. He was all jazzed about it. He was showing off these snappers and talking about how huge this is going to be. He threw one and then the band director looked right at him and said, “Do you want to die?” What an asshole that band director was. But anyway, that was it for the snapper “fun.”
Holy shit, Mike has sexy ladies responding to his tweets. And her name is “zombiesouffle”. This is too perfect.
https://bsky.app/profile/zombiesouffle.bsky.social
“Fan of movies, tv, and video games.”
Well, that’s…about as boring as it gets, isn’t it?
Huh. Most of her posts are about video games, zombies, and art. Erin better look out. This is right up Mike’s alley. She’s better looking than Erin too. Is this even real? She only has a few posts and this is all like…exactly the sort of shit that Mike would go for. This has to be a prank. She’s going to be making posts about Miles O’Brien next.
Mike isn’t doing much tweeting over on X. Only a few messages this year. But he did feel the need to ask, “Does anyone play Age of Empires 2 a lot?” Umm…no, Mike. I didn’t even play it 25 years ago.
What are some good zombie games that Erin could play on stream, for money? There’s loads. What about Organ Trail?
Oh, there was some shitty movie with the same name recently so now the search results are clogged with that shit. But yeah, the game still exists. I’m sure that Erin would have a blast streaming that and talking about how cute it is and pointing out the various colours.
Let me just Google “zombie games.” Oh, yeah. Left 4 Dead. I played that for a while. But then when Left 4 Dead 2 came out like a year later, I started my boycott against Valve which is still ongoing. Never bought another Valve game again and never will. It helps that that I don’t even think they released any games after that.
But yeah, I didn’t really like it. I don’t like zombie games but this isn’t about me. This is about Erin, who’s a serious “gamer” and big into zombies. So much so that she’s transforming herself into a zombie, starting with the gums.
Zombies Ate My Neighbors. I never played it but it looks like shit every time Mike plays it, which is regularly.
Oh yeah. Typing of the Dead. That would be a good one for Erin. It’s not “stressful”. I played it a few times years ago.
What’s that fucking series that Kieran always talked about? I’m not seeing it on these lists of zombie games. I know that it’s a popular series, though. Maybe it’s not a zombie game.
DayZ. I was going to get it years ago but I never wanted to bother with those sorts of games where you bang a rock against a tree and then some guy with a sniper rifle kills you. It doesn’t sound like fun to me.
Oh, Resident Evil. That’s the series. I never played any of that shit.
Plants vs Zombies. I played that a lot. The first one was great. Then it became a cash grab mobile game. There was also a Chinese version which was different.
Red Dead Redemption, that zombie version. I never played Red Dead Redemption either. I played all of the Grand Theft Auto games but…I don’t like them. So I don’t know why I played them so much.
Oh, Minecraft has zombies, I guess. That’s a natural for Erin then. She could repeat the same three “jokes” that the homos on Reddit beat to death from that Minecraft video of Mike’s.
Doom has zombies? I guess they do. I don’t really think of those soldiers as zombies.
Half-Life? We’re really stretching the definition of “zombie”. I guess that the headcrab guys are zombies but come on.
They Hunger? There were so many great mods for Half-Life. I never even heard of this one. You couldn’t keep up. There were hundreds. I used to play some Matrix-type mod. It was good but I didn’t play it a whole lot.
And Garry’s Mod. I don’t even know what it was but I still got it. I see that they’re selling it now but I don’t know if it was free back in the day or what. Was this just for Half-Life 2? Maybe. Half-Life 2 didn’t have nearly as many mods as the original Half-Life did. I think because the original game was so much easier to make mods for.
And by “mods”, I mean full games. “Total conversions”, if you prefer.
Zombie games have really exploded in popularity in the past 10 or 15 years. But I’m not seeing anything that focuses on the gums. There’s a real gap in the market. Erin described the procedure as “frankesteined”. The Frankenstein monster was a zombie, I guess. Surely, somebody has made a Frankenstein game where you get to make the monster.
Oh, Castlevania has…probably zombies but also Frankenstein. Maybe Erin can appreciate the game on a new level now, the next time she plays it on stream, for money.
But according to this recent Reddit post, no, there aren’t any games where you can build a monster.
Wait, no, he mentions Creature Lab. Mixed reviews on Steam but it seems to be the sort of thing I was looking for. Also Iratus. Some roguelike.
So some good ideas for old Zombie Gums. And we can all look forward to that big upcoming video she has planned. The script is huge. She doesn’t just shit them out in a day like Newt, she takes months to carefully craft her Youtube video scripts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF6EgSM5TlA
I won’t embed this video because the thumbnail is vile but it’s the LEAST disgusting video that I saw about gum grafts. And even that OBNOXIOUS AS FUCK so-called dential hygenist is clearly a little digusted by the procedure and you have to imagine that she’s seen some shit.
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Newt’s Shitty Patreon Plus The Ghost Doctor Chris Bores
https://www.patreon.com/SchlockandAweFilms
Newt was advertising this on Twitter recently so I thought, “Maybe I could throw the Ideas Man a few bucks in exchange for all of the (unintentional) entertainment he’s given me over the years.”
No. Not worth it.
He’s getting about $60/month from this. It’s free money, I guess. He’s certainly not doing anything extra on here to earn it. But still, it seems pretty pathetic.
“creating Nerdy content for Nerdy People”
All capitalizations are Newt’s. I never considered Newt to be particularly targeting the nerd demographic, but I guess he is. I just don’t really think of retards as nerds but…I guess they are? At least the retards that we’re dealing with. You look at somebody like Games & Movies, for example. He goes to nerd conventions and he goes to Disneyland and hugs all of the characters and shit, which…would be nerdy if a normal person did it. He doesn’t get a pass just because he’s mentally challenged, does he? Maybe he does because I never considered him to be a nerd, I considered him to be…mentally challenged.
So anyway, the Ideas Man has four subscriber tiers all with painfully unfunny pun (I guess) titles. There’s “Buck yea”, illustrating that Newt can’t even spell the word “yeah”. For one British pound you get…nothing, it seems. All it says is “Worse things someone can do with a dollar”, tortured grammar by way of Newt. I don’t know the dollar amounts and I’m not going to estimate so just figure that Ā£1 = $1.50.
Three pounds a month is “Schlock and Roll”. I’m astonished that he got the capitalisation right. For this, you get “Patron-only updates” and “Chat community.” If he means the Discord, he advertises it semi-regularly for free.
Ā£8.50 is “Schlocklate Chip Cookies”. “Every bit goes towards building better content as well as fostering a stronger community.” What does that mean? He’s not reinvesting any of this money into “fostering a stronger community.” I don’t even know how he could.
The only thing you get extra here is “early access.” Isn’t putting your shit on Patreon first the typical way to give people “early access” though? How is he giving people even earlier access? It’s not explained.
For Ā£21.50, a huge jump, you get to the “Schlocktober fest” tier. “Oktoberfest”, of course, being one word. But this is “Schlocktober fest” so I guess it’s two words.
For this one, you get “All the bells and whistles. Early access and a peak (sic) behind the curtain on all the crazy stuff we are building this year and ramping up to 11 in 2023.”
He hasn’t updated this thing in two fucking years. He’s had at least two years to figure out that it’s “peek” and not “peak”. But what specifically do you get for THIRTY DOLLARS a month?
Well, you get livestreams. You get “Patron only updates”, something that even the Ā£3 tier gives. You get “Patron only updates” AGAIN. You get “chat community”, which is also something that the Ā£3 tier has. You get “early access” which was the baffling new thing that the Ā£8.50 tier gave you. And finally, you get a second helping of “chat community.”
He lists six fucking things and two of them are repeats WITHIN THE SAME TIER. The only new thing you get are “livestreams” which…what livestreams? He streams on Youtube all the time for free. You just have to subscribe and it will show up.
But let’s look at these tier names again. Forget about the poor spelling and the unfunny puns. Also, let’s ignore that “Schlocklate Chip Cookies” would require you to pronounce “chocolate” in a pretty strange way in order for that to make any sense. Although, I think possibly some people do pronounce it that way. I’m thinking of a childhood friend.
Anyway, I’m just focusing on the unusual ranking system. Why is “rock and roll” before “chocolate chip cookies” and “Oktoberfest” is top tier? If you were to rank these things in terms of cultural impact, surely “rock and roll” would be first. Then…I don’t know. Which had the greater impact on society: chocolate chip cookies or Oktoberfest? As inconsequential as they are, more people probably know about chocolate chip cookies than Oktoberfest but I can’t bring myself to put fucking cookies over Oktoberfest. So I’m saying chocolate chip cookies should the lowest tier, then Oktoberfest, then rock and roll the highest tier.
So what’s this “Patron only” content? I think he means “Patreon only” but whatever…the guy is a fucking moron who can’t write.
Well, he has a post about the ghost that haunts his cinema. He should get Chris BORES on the case. Is the Ghost Doctor still treating patients? I know that he announced his retirement from the Irate Gamer show recently.
https://www.youtube.com/@GhostDoctor/videos
No, his last video was four months ago.
Oh, he gave his website a fancy redesign, though. It has scrolling pictures and everything like it’s 1997. Stick some animated gifs and midi music in there while you’re at it.
The doctor is having an “afterlife workshop”. Only twenty bucks a ticket. This flyer has the price of the ticket with a lot of extra spacing after it in case he wants to change the price later. Which I suspect he’s going to have to do.
But what do you get in this “afterlife workshop”?
- “How to avoid being ‘stuck’ in the afterlife”
- “How to ascend energetically”
- “How to protect your soul”
I mean…I guess those could be useful things to know. Who doesn’t want to “ascend energetically”. Whatever the fuck that means.
This is through Zoom or something, right? Oh my god, it isn’t. This is a real thing. He rented out a hotel lobby or something for this. Let me look this up.
No, this is Global Tech College. What the fuck is this? Some scam for-profit college, I bet.
It’s not noteworthy enough for Wikipedia. It’s a pretty small building. They apparently have 46 students paying an average of $11,600/year. What can they possibly be teaching? Ghost hunting?
Their Twitter hasn’t been updated in six years.
Their website refuses to load. The server might be haunted.
Oh, it finally loaded. Business management and IT. I think it’s associate degrees. And I don’t think that they’re accredited by any respectable body. But they do tell you how easy it is to get student loans.
Anyway, that’s where the afterlife convention was. It was last month so I already missed it. I’d be fascinated to know how many people showed up, if any.
Oh, he’s also doing a “Holidays Bereavement Lecture.” Is that for this coming December or last December? It must be last December. He just hasn’t updated this. But that’s also at this scam college. Maybe the students are required to attend and there’s some kickbacks involved.
TWO HOURS. But you’ll learn:
- “How the afterlife works for passed loves ones”
- “Signs to look out for that loved ones send”
- “Increase your chances for spiritual contact”
- “How to keep out wandering Ebeneezer ghosts”
Obviously, that last one is the best. How many times have you been plagued by greedy Dickensian workhouse owners?
It doesn’t even make sense. Ebeneezer Scrooge didn’t haunt ANYONE. He was the one being haunted by being shown the results of his own miserly ways.
God, it’s such a palette cleanser reading Dr Bores’ website. Say what you want about this nutjob, the man knows how to spell, unlike the fucking professional writer Newt Wallen.
But back to the drudgery of…eugh…”The Ideas Man.”
“What should I be writing next” is one of the articles you get to read on his Patreon. How about a solemn pledge to never write another “movie” again? Or what about a carefully crafted letter of apology to that woman who died from cancer and all you talked about was how much you fucked her up the ass? Or how about some nice fat refund cheques to every retard who ever “donated” money to you?
Or, here’s an idea, what if Newt did some ACTUAL reviews of the movies that he plagiarised for? Do it for fucking Monster Madness. Take the exact same movies that were reviewed for that year’s Monster Madness but do your own reviews this time. So no 9/11 shit this time. I’m not saying it would set the world on fire but the fags on Reddit would probably talk about it. You’d get a slight boost to your channel. And it would be funny and clever and…all of the things that Newt isn’t.
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Rex Viper – ScarFox (Push it to the Limit) Official Music Video
I think I’m starting to understand. With previous songs, I was always baffled because they weren’t covers…and they weren’t parodies…they were just…sort of the song but they would inject random video game references into the song.
So now we have ScarFox, which is a combination of the movie Scarface and the video game StarFox and it’s being sung to a straight cover of Push it to the Limit. What do Scarface and StarFox have to do with Push it to the Limit? NOTHING. But what retard Rolfe is doing is finding a pun title and then creating a video around that.
It’s the same shit that Newt does with his shitty movies that never go anywhere. It’s what creatively bankrupt morons do. Apparently. Newt comes up with a shitty pun title first and then builds the movie around that shitty pun title.
I was looking for something that makes sense, which is where I failed. None of this makes sense. There’s nothing to understand. There’s no deep meaning. This is simply the product of mental retardation.
You can have a song called Super Blues Brothers where you splice in clips from that horrible movie The Blues Brothers and game footage of Super Mario Brothers all the tune of…it could be anything. The song is completely unconnected. Jolene, Immigrant Song, Black Hole Sun, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you want.
That’s the game that’s being played here. Think of a mash up pun title of a movie and a video game, show footage of those two properties, and then do a cover of a completely unrelated song on top of it.
I was getting hung up on that last part. I was trying to figure out how the song is at all related to anything else that’s going on. Because that’s how a normal person would think. They’d make sure that the song is connected to the video. But I realise now that I need to think like a retard when I’m watching these videos. Because James is a retard. So as it turns out, the song is completely unrelated to the other stuff being referenced.
Although, looking at the older songs, I guess there was kind of a connection. Eye of the Tiger Electronics was sort of a cover of Eye of the Tiger with random references to Tiger handhelds and the visuals had tigers in it. Hearts of Fire, a song associated with the Rocky movies, had Punch Out visuals, Punch Out being a boxing game, of course. Nintendo Power of Love…umm…I might need help on that one. I don’t get Mighty Wings and Hadoukens either.
It’s funny seeing Newt in the Nintendo Power of Love video. It doesn’t even look like him. They apparently did something to attempt to make him look like Michael J Fox. They altered it digitally. Seems kind of insulting. Nobody else got digitally altered but Newt did.
Speaking of the Ideas Man, in his most recent live stream, he says that people were telling him that Madilynn Paige died, people obviously reading it on the blog, and he reveals that she didn’t die. He says that she got a job in finance. And I found her Facebook page and apparently that’s true. Sort of. She’s self-employed. I’m not quite sure how you go from prostitution to getting a job in the exciting world of finance. It’s undoubtedly a scam. But whatever. She’s alive.
I won’t be doing a full article retracting anything because if the Ideas Man wasn’t so fucking vague about everything, these misunderstandings wouldn’t happen.
But then who is it who died? He said that somebody died. I believe somebody who was involved in that shitty Amityville “movie” but who knows? I could have that wrong as well because everything has to be so fucking cryptic.
So Rex Viper. What does the future hold? Maybe they should bring Newt back. Both Newt and James share a singular retarded vision. Put these two retards together and you might just have enough brain power to equal one normal-functioning person.
It’s been years. How long can anyone hold a grudge? Imagine if they rehired Newt. Hire him on the condition that he never bothers with any of these god awful movies that never go anywhere again. That alone would be worth it. You’d be doing society a favour.
And what is Tony doing these days? He can’t possibly be making money from his channel. Let’s check SocialBlade.
About $8,000/year. That’s more than I expected. But how much time, effort, and expense is he putting into this? For eight thousand bucks a year?
Maybe Newt could get back with Tony. But again, there would have to be rules. Newt could never appear on an episode that has Horseface on it. He was AWFUL in those episodes.
Or what about that Pegwarmers guy? Newt used to the “producer” or something of that show. And the Pegwarmers guy is STILL just shooting in his basement, solo. Ever since Screenwave closed their podcast studio YEARS ago. Newt could help this guy get it together. Maybe Newt could even be the co-host. They could talk about action figures together.
Why not? Anything is possible. Maybe Newt is going to get back with Horseface. He just needs to show that he’s genuinely changed and isn’t a giant scumbag any more, which I guess is the problem.
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Newt and Metz live stream a go go
Newt got the name for this video from Todd Tuckey of TNT Amusements, a local rural Pennsylvania used pinball and arcade vendor, who has a Youtube channel and used to say “pinball a go go” or “pancakes a go go” or whatever the situation called as like his catchphrase. And Newt has mentioned Todd Tuckey before, Newt mentioned going to his shop for some Screenwave video (the Polybius episode, which Newt also says he came up with the idea for that episode), so this is not coincidental.
3:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she bought a Nintendo 64 recently. I don’t care but just some information for any nerds out there.
I saw that Ian from the Pat and Ian show shaved his beard recently. He’s the spitting image of PVC Bondage Guy.
4:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she switched providers so had to change her phone number. Really? I’ve transferred my number to other providers no problem. Maybe things are different in the Land of Opportunity.
I’ve been calling the US the “Land of Opportunity” on the internet in a sarcastic fashion for over 25 years. I used to go to some British band’s website back when I lived in the US, this was in like 1999, and I’d always refer to the country as the Land of Opportunity in the chat room. And there was an American woman who used to go there regularly and got really pissed off at this. “Why are you calling it the Land of Opportunity? It’s that opposite of that. What’s wrong with you?” And some British guy came to my defence, “To be fair, he’s obviously using the term sarcastically.” He said this even though I was a contentious figure in the chat and this American woman was well-liked.
She was just exposing herself as an idiot. Ironically, she was perpetuating American stereotypes by trying to fit in with all of the British folk. She was unable to recognise dry humour, something that British people enjoy.
Indeed, the smarter people in the chat would regularly come to my defence against the dummies. There was a time, a separate incident, involving different people, when some guy said something along the lines of, “Can’t you see that this is dry humour? He’s perfect at it. I thought British people were supposed to know these things.”
I don’t think that any nationality has a monopoly on dry humour, though. I certainly wasn’t trying to be British. But I find that my writing, which I usually try to make at least somewhat comedic, has a divisive effect. And the divide isn’t along nationalities or anything like this, it’s between the intelligentsia and dummies. The dummies get very irritated by it because they don’t understand what it is that I’m doing. But the brighter members of society get it and appreciate it.
I know that this is all self-absorbed and sounds like I’m talking about how great and funny I am, but that’s really not the intention. I’m just making a genuine observation that I think is accurate. And I’m sure that everybody who’s still reading is in full agreement. “You know, this guy really makes a good point. Only smart people like me can appreciate this guy’s blog.”
Back to Mensa members PVC Bondage Guy and Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.
10:00 – She’s reading from the chat. Somebody said that Metz looks “jacked” and she thanks him.
Dude. No. No fucking way. SHE’S ENORMOUS. This is not muscle. It’s fat. As I believe somebody is going to point out soon. Hopefully, anyway. I watched this while I was drifting in and out of sleep and now I’m having to watch it again.
13:30 – Somebody in the chat called PVC Bondage Guy fat and Newt old but I’m not seeing it in the replay so I’m guessing that PVC Bondage Guy or whatever horntard they have “moderating” this thing deleted the comment.
14:00 – PVC Bondage Guy went to some kind of convention, either nerd or wrestling, maybe both, and ran into her good buddy the Sandman. You might remember him from Extreme Championship Wrestling back in the 1990s. PVC Bondage Guy, who only started watching wrestling like two years ago, is all about 1990s ECW and she’s now close personal friends with the Sandman.
Anyway, Sandman said that she gained a lot of weight since he last saw her. Yeah. It’s fucking obvious.
“My weight is because I’m training. I’m not upset about it.”
And Newt, feeding her delusions, says, “Yeah, yeah.”
I understand the concept of “bulking” when it comes to body building or I suppose anything where you’re trying to increase the size of your muscles. You eat a lot and you lift a lot of weights because you’re trying to turn these extra calories from the food into muscle. I’m not entirely sure what the science is behind it, but this is my layman’s understanding.
However, what PVC Bondage Guy seems to be doing is “bulking” in terms of eating a lot but then just laying on the couch and taking a nap. This is not going to lead to large muscles. Eating is only part of the equation. You have to then LIFT WEIGHTS. I don’t think that PVC Bondage Guy is doing that. She can’t be. Look at her.
I say forget the bulking entirely. Just eat normally and lift weights. Bulking is for high level body builders, not somebody in a fucking wrestling school who’s never going to make a dime off of this. The WEIGHT LIFTING is the most important thing.
And how much muscle is she planning on getting anyway? Surely, her delusion isn’t so deep that she doesn’t understand that she’s biologically a woman. It’s difficult for women to build muscle.
I mean, if PVC Bondage Guy is genuinely lifting weights, we can see the results. You can eat all the head-sized chicken things from Domino’s you want but you’re just going to look like a big, fat chick.
Anyway, bulking is just part of the process. Maybe she’s going to prove me wrong when she gets to the “cutting” phase. She’ll lose all of that weight and you’ll see that she had giant muscles hidden under all of that flab.
When is the cutting phase going to begin, though? Because I think you’re supposed to do like three months of bulking, three months of cutting. Let me look this up.
I wasn’t even close. Four to six weeks of bulking, then another four to six weeks of cutting.
https://blog.workoutwithbolt.com/a-simple-guide-to-the-bulking-and-cutting-cycle
Oh, but they go on to say that cycles of three to four months or even longer are more effective. But PVC Bondage Guy has been bulking for at a year, I’d say. Enough with the bulking. You’re bulky enough.
It’s fucking ridiculous. Just invest in some dumb bells and start lifting them. Don’t worry about the fucking food. Eat like a normal human being. Not food the size of your head.
Some guy named Gerald keeps coming on to PVC Bondage Guy in the chat and it really annoys Newt. I think that she might be “dating” this guy because she mentioned earlier about how they linked their telephone contact groups together or something.
18:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she went to college. We’ll come back to this soon, hopefully.
Oh, here’s the Gerald who’s cutting it up in the chat:
https://twitter.com/jaybunny89
Just some fat horntard who pays PVC Bondage Guy for sex. I think that he appeared in one of these livestreams before. He had a cane because he was unable to walk unaided under his own weight. Maybe this Gerald is helping PVC Bondage Guy with her bulking.
That’s disappointing. Here I was thinking that PVC Bondage Guy had some hot boyfriend who was going to her livestreams. No. Just another fat, pathetic john.
22:30 – “I didn’t watch the most recent…what’s it called…WrestleMania.”
That was from wrestling super-fan PVC Bondage Guy. And a few minutes earlier, she said that she didn’t know what the term “kayfabe” meant until like a year ago when some horntard in the chat said it.
Doesn’t even know the NAME WrestleMania. She had to think about it. Big wrestling fan. Going way back to 2023.
25:45 – Finally, we get to PVC Bondage Guy’s special eduation story. A few minutes earlier, she was talking about how her father didn’t like Kurt Cobain being associated with his generation because he killed himself. And that her father always considered himself to be normal and would tell PVC Bondage Guy and her brother that they were normal when, apparently, they have serious problems.
27:00 – “I was in the special needs group but, like, not intellectually, because of my mental — like my emotional issues. I remember people being surprised that I was in that group .”
This wasn’t as big of a deal as it seemed when I was first listening to this, semi-conscious. She was just in the lowest “track” in school. You have Group 1, Group 2, Group 3, for example, with the smartest kids in Group 1, the average kids in Group 2, and the complete disasters in Group 3. But the people in Group 3 aren’t retarded. At least not in my experience. But they’re there as a combination of low intellect and behavioural issues, just like she seems to be suggesting she had.
Looking back, I understand now why Group 3 was so much smaller than the other two groups. I guess it was like a special needs group. Group 1 had like 20 kids, Group 2 had 25, and Group 3 had 7. And only one was a girl. But yeah, they weren’t retarded. One kid clearly had autism, although I don’t think this was a known thing at the time. The others were just…I don’t know. Some of them seemed to have bad home lives. A lot of them had behavioural issues. Were they inherently less intelligent than other students? Tough to say. Were they less intelligent because of their bad home life and the fact that they were put in Group 3 or were they just naturally less intelligent?
Because they certainly didn’t know shit. We’d have like contests and shit in school and they were always shit. They weren’t winning any fucking spelling bees or trivia contests. So I don’t know. I think that home life plays a large role in one’s perceived intelligence.
I was in Group 1, for what it’s worth. But I was moved down to Group 2 in like the 7th grade when my father died and I wasn’t doing homework and shit. So it’s not like I suddenly got stupid. I was moved to the dumber group because the quality of my home life dropped. If I had somebody checking that I was doing homework and whatnot, like a switched on mother who gave a shit, for example, I wouldn’t have been moved down.
So these groups are really in large part a reflection on people’s homelives. And then when you’re in a lower group, obviously the quality of your education is going to suffer so the problem is exacerbated.
Anyway, that’s PVC Bondage Guy’s special education story. She wasn’t really in special education in the sense that James Rolfe was. She was just in the lowest track in mainstream school, undoubtedly due to her bad homelife.
But as far as intellect goes, I put PVC Bondage Guy ahead of…well, certainly any of the prostitutes who Newt has on his channel. She’s definitely ahead of Erin. Bobdunga, Pelvic Gamer, Retro Ali, they can all go eat dicks. I’m taking PVC Bondage Guy as my partner in a game of Trivial Pursuit over those morons any day. Fucking what’s her name, the prostitute from New York…now there’s a straight up retard. Who am I leaving out? Oh, Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. Well, I don’t know. Pam does some IT job and she has a horrible personality but she doesn’t seem particularly stupid. Tough to say. I’d like to see them both take a standardised test and we can compare results. But one thing I know for sure is I’d rather have a conversation with PVC Bondage Guy than Pam.
So is PVC Bondage Guy the smartest gamer girl who I talk about? Quite possibly. And is the Newt the dumbest (gamer?) guy who I talk about? Umm…well, no, he can’t be. I mean, James “Seven and a Half Years in Special Education” Rolfe is going to be tough beat. But what other guys do I talk about? Well, I used to talk about Tony. Is Newt smarter than Tony…a real battle of the titans here. Newt’s writing is obviously awful. He doesn’t even know basic spelling and grammar. But is that an intelligence thing or a failure in education? And we don’t know if Tony writes any better.
Let’s figure this out on a tier list. A to F. A is particularly intelligent, C is average, F is particularly unintelligent. I’m not ranking these people in relation to each other, I’m ranking them in relation to the population at large.
A –
B – Pam aka Cannot be Entertaining, PVC Bondage Guy, Mike Matei
C – Pelvic Gamer, Newt Wallen, Tony from Hack the Movies, John Riggs
D – Retro Ali, Bobdunga, Erin Plays, Johanna from Hack the Movies, Chris Bores, Super Retro Gal aka Super Video Game Gal
F – Fallon and all of those other prostitutes who Newt has on his channel, Destiny Fomo, James Rolfe, Crystal Quinn, Zap Crystal
I think those are the main ones. Nobody in “A”, of course. Some of the choices were a little tough and perhaps arbitrary. Just because you’re in the same category as somebody else, that doesn’t mean you’re equally as smart. There’s a range within each category. But I think that the chart is pretty accurate.
Who would be “A” tier? Who are the intellectual juggernauts in the retro gaming community? You’d think that it would be teeming with smart people. It’s a nerd thing, after all. But no. Metal Jesus? No. Scott the Woz? No. Joe from Game Sack? No. Lazy Gamer or whatever that guy’s name is? No. Horny Goriya? No. PushingUpRoses? Fuck no. That horrible English woman? No. That horrible South Asian English woman? No. I can’t remember their names.
Maybe that Texan guy who does the repair videos or whatever? That’s not really retro video games, though. And who is that guy anyway? I haven’t seen his videos in years. It’s a bald guy. Glasses.
Maybe Justin Silverman would be in the A tier. He always has witty tweets and shit. Seems erudite.
I don’t want to be sexist, though. Any ladies…umm…I’m sure that there are but none spring to mind.
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Rex Viper – The Touch (Official Music Video)
0:00 – It starts off gay.
Then it gets more gay.
Then you see a Transformer cartoon of Optimus Prime. What the fuck is this? James is in his mid 40s and putting cartoon characters in this fucking music video. Have you considered sexy ladies in bikinis?
Then this GAY AS FUCK singer starts singing in falsetto.
Then he starts jumping around like the world’s biggest homosexual. What is this? Why in the fuck does James insist on doing this? And I’m talking about James Rolfe, not the singer who I think is also named James. I think somebody else in the band is also named James.
The song is gay. The ORIGINAL song is gay. How much more gay is a cover version by these fucking faggots? With fucking shitty cartoons from the 1980s overlayed on all of this.
0:58 – The drummer has a fucking gay man’s moustache like Freddie Mercury and he smiles seductively and kind of winks at the gay fucking twink singer. Why is this happening? The fucking is making extended eye contact with the drummer and serenading him. This is not subtle. This is OPENLY gay.
And James Rolfe is nodding along like he’s totally into this.
The fat drummer is like a fucking bear.
And what the hell are the Transformers for? What’s the relevance of Transformers to any of this? I haven’t watched that shit since I was 10. And it sucked cock even back then. Those cartoons were not good.
And it’s fucking Rodimus Prime that they’re showing. I don’t even know this guy. I outgrew Transformers by the time Rodimus Prime was introduced.
Oh my god. This is seven minutes long. I can’t listen to this. I’m only two minutes in and I feel like I’m in some sick fucking gay fantasy. With Transformers for some bizarre reason.
I don’t get it. WHY TRANSFORMERS? This shit is all copyrighted anyway. And what’s the fucking connection?
I’d actually rather watch the homoerotic interactions between the band members than this Transformers footage. The Transformers shit repeats a lot as well. It’s just fucking unbelievable. Who is this for? Who’s enjoying this?
2:40 – HELLA gay closeup for James Rolfe as he does some kind of solo or something and he’s nodding his head and opening and closing his mouth a lot. And he puckers his lips like he’s sucking a dick. What is this?
2:50 – What are these faces that James Rolfe is making? I don’t want to look at this.
3:10 – And Dino is fucking gay as fuck too.
3:15 – Now there’s suddenly footage of the Double Dragon NES game. Why? What’s the connection? Why suddenly insert this halfway through the video?
3:40 – The singer puts his arm on the shoulder of the bear, looks him deep in the eyes, and sings “You’ve got the touch.” Come on. This is gay. Is nobody else seeing this? And the bear is nodding along and smiling like, “Oh, yeah. I’ve got the touch alright. Meet me in the alley after we finish with this bullshit.”
3:50 – Now it’s just extended footage of various crotches of the band. This is fucking awful.
Then more Transformers for whatever reason.
4:45 – James Rolfe leaping into the air like a girl.
5:15 – The singer is twirling the microphone around like a girl.
5:25 – Now gay as fuck footage of the band playing at some nerd convention. It’s fucking embarassing.
I think there’s actually a woman in the front really cheering them on. Is she a plant? What woman goes to a nerd convention and then loses her shit over REX VIPER?
5:50 – James Rolfe takes a selfie with the band and some of the crowd. All dudes this time. What happened to that one woman was was there?
5:55 – Brief shot of Justin Silverman. This was filmed when he was still a member of the band but they apparently cut all of his shit out of the video, except for this brief appearance.
6:00 – Brief shot of Kieran. Same story.
Then the singer is holding the microphone right in front of the bear like he’s feeding him a big juicy cock.
Footage of some guy in the audience wearing leather arm…things like some fucking gay leather…thing.
6:15 – Fags dressed up as Transformers and gyrating their pelvises.
Then is mercifully ends after extended shots of crotches and the boys back in the studio about to discuss whose hotel room the gay orgy is going to take place in.
I don’t get it. At all. When was this song even released? I’ll say 1985.
It’s from 1986. Stan Bush is the singer. I never even heard of him. And the song was used in the Transformers movie, that’s why there were all of these Transformers clips.
This is before my time. I don’t know any of this shit. James knows the song from the movie, I guess. But I was too old to watch the movie.
I’m two years older than James Rolfe and I’m completely out of the loop. I was too young to be listening to fucking Stan Bush (whoever the fuck that is) and too old to be watching the Transformers movie. So there’s a very narrow range of people who MIGHT get some enjoyment out of this. People who were seven or eight years old in 1986 and might therefore have seen the movie OR 13 to 16 and might have enjoyed the works of Stan Bush.
Let me look this fucking Stan Bush up.
No, he’s only known for this one song that was in the movie. So he didn’t have any fanbase outside of the movie. So the only people who could possibly enjoy this are people who were seven or eight years old in 1986 when the Transformers movie came out.
And how many people who enjoyed the Transformers movie at seven or eight year olds still enjoy the movie as men in their mid 40s?
Plus, you have to be gay. So take whatever tiny number you have and reduce it by 90 percent.
There’s your audience. There’s your Rex Viper audience. Giant man babies born in either 1980 or 1981 who prefer the company of men.
I think that you need to broaden your appeal a little. This is complete fucking shit.
And look at these Youtube comments. Every single fucking one of them is shitting on the video. No matter how big of a contrarian somebody might be, NOBODY is taking up the Rex Viper cause. Nobody is supporting this shit at all, saying that it’s good, saying that they like it. Nothing like that.
The closest you get are people saying, “Hey, James seems to be enjoying himself. Leave him alone” like James Rolfe is some fucking dodering old man and you’re his son visiting him at the nursing home watching him play checkers with some other old man. “Oh, he always enjoyed checkers. It’s great to see him so happy.”
Why this? Why any of this? If you’re going to start a band as a middle aged man, which is bizarre enough in itself, why not try something interesting? Do some avante garde experimental shit. Nobody is going to listen to this anyway.
Or why not a blues band? Or jazz? Do something that’s old and nobody listens to but at least has some artistic merit.
No, he’s going to do cover songs of 80s bands, despite the fact that he was born in 1980 so this shit is all before his time. I don’t think that I can give you the title of five mainstream songs from the 1980s. I wasn’t listening to music as a kid.
What’s the goal with the band? James seems to want people to listen and buy the album. He says that an album is coming out.
I can’t even get into that video. I watched it but it’s just depressing. He begs you to subscribe to the Rex Viper channel but he clearly knows that this is a giant flop. So why continue? He’s just embarassing himself with this gay as fuck shit.
Imagine doing something and every single person tells you, “Hey, this is complete shit.” It’s got to be demoralising. But he seems to just tune everything out. Same as he did with the AVGN Movie. Everybody hated it but James seems to just ignore the overwhelming concensus that the movie sucks dick.
It can’t be healthy to live in that kind of delusional dream world.
What’s slightly surprising is that the fags on Reddit are all over the comments section repeating their same three “memes” and seemingly indicating that they also don’t like this Rex Viper shit. But in a way, this stuff is right up their alley. It’s HELLA gay. Normally, they enjoy the homoerotic aspects of AVGN like the time James was tied to a chair with an onion in his mouth, the time he wore a wig for that Big Rigs video, that picture where it looks like he’s about to kiss Doug Walker, shit like this. But Rex Viper, an extremely gay “band”, is just met with derision.
It goes to show that there’s not a single person who likes this. And I intentionally looked for ways to enjoy this because it would make for a more interesting article than just adding to the chorus of people dogpiling on this. But I can’t. There’s nothing to like about Rex Viper. It’s 100%, pure, unfiltered, shit.
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Erin has a Dog and Maybe a Cat?
So it’s the usual lies and tedium and talking about how some things are cute from old Zombie Gums.
But what I found interesting is that if you go to her Twitch page and watch the unedited stream, she starts by talking about her dog.
Well, first she talks about having the flu. She really wants everybody know about every minor medical problem she encounters. And even the gross ones like when she got her “gum graft.”
But then somebody asks her about her chihuahua.
So she starts talking about how she saw something on Instagram of an AI drawing that they were selling in a store called Hobby Lobby of a chihuahua in space. And she thought that the dog bore an uncanny resemblance to her own dog. You know…because dogs of the same breed tend to look alike. That’s kind of the point of breeds. They’re selectively breeding to get certain traits. But Erin apparently doesn’t realise that her chichuahua looks remarkably like every other chihuahua.
Her dog’s name is Pickles, by the way. I would have suggested Casserole.
Mike, being the complete buffoon that he is, bought Erin the picture. This picture that Erin doesn’t give two shits about. But he’s constantly trying to buy the affection of this personality blackhole.
Erin then suggested that she plans on taking a picture of herself holding the dog next to the picture. So that we can all awe at how cute it all is.
Why is this the first that we’re hearing about this? Why doesn’t she have pictures of her fucking dog on Twitter. Is she posting this shit on Instagram? Let me check.
Not that I’m seeing. She has an AI drawing of herself. She has a picture where she’s trying to look sexy in front of some band poster that Mike obviously bought. She has a picture of her looking awkward where she’s cosplaying as a race car driver. How weird is this? Cosplaying as somebody who has a job. Just go get a job for real. They’re not so bad.
There’s also a picture of her in front of the Highland Theatre holding an ice cream cone. Where is this? I’m going to guess that this was during one of her many trips to visit her parents in California.
Yeah. Of course it is. It’s a closed cinema in Los Angeles.
God, it’s so fucking insulting to both Mike and “the East Coast” broadly that she spends fucking half of her life visiting her parents in Los Angeles. Like she’s too good for both Mike and New Jersey. It’s been over FIVE YEARS and she’s doing this shit. If Los Angeles is so fabulous, fucking stay there.
So anyway, she has this dog. She opted for the most stereotypically “cute” breed, the chihuahua. And Mike, totally without a spine, just went along with this bullshit. “Oh, sure, you want a little yappy dog to shit my house up that you’re going to forget about in two weeks? No problem, honey. Zombie gums, you say? Sounds like a good idea. You want to visit your parents for the third time this month? My money is your money.”
What the fuck is she bringing to this relationship? That dog is going to be neglected for the rest of its life. She doesn’t want a fucking dog. She has absolutely no interests. She only got this dog to be like Paris Hilton from 25 years ago. The dog needs a lot of attention.
How is Erin going to spend time with the dog? She’s in California half of her life. Surely, she’s not going to bring that fucking dog with her every time. That would be not only extremely obnoxious for her fellow travelers but it would be abuse on the dog.
So what are they going to do? They both seem to be in California a lot. They’re going to put the dog in a kennel? They don’t seem to know anybody who can look after the dog. And what a fucking burden that is on whoever they might rope into this anyway, fucking Justin Silverman or whoever. He wants to take care of a yappy dog every other week?
Then there’s the whole shitting and socialising and training that has to be done. And you can’t leave a dog like that alone for two seconds or they start fucking barking and possibly tearing shit up. I think that small dogs are particularly prone to constantly needing company. You need to either ensure that somebody is with that fucking dog every second of the day or get another dog, but I don’t want to suggest that second thing because there’s already one dog suffering from this completely asinine, selfish decision.
And why are there no fucking pictures? Isn’t that the whole reason why she got the dog? To have something “cute” that she can show on the internet? Not one picture. I wouldn’t even know about it, had I not gone to this Twitch video, in a section that she deleted from the Youtube video. Why is she not mentioning the fucking dog anywhere?
She’ll talk about her zombie gums and shitty soup that she made but not the fact that she got a dog?
This was worth a re-tweet, but no mention of her dog. “Hey guys! Remember CD’s?” Sure. I remember them, Erin. You want to talk about how cute Pickles is now?
I’m thinking that this dog isn’t “where Erin’s heart is.” But she’s stuck with it for the next 15 fucking years. And worse, the dog is stuck with her for the next 15 years.
Best case scenario is that they get bored with it within three months, take it to a shelter, and the dog gets euthanised. This is no way for an animal to live. With fucking Zombie Gums?
And with all of Erin’s health problems, both real and imagined, is a dog really a good idea? Surely, she’s allergic to dogs. She claims to have allergies constantly. Dogs isn’t on the list?
They also claimed to have a cat in a video from a few years ago. Mike was talking about a cat running around and how he was going to pick it up but he never did. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not but this could just be one of those things where some people get pets and then treat them as completely disposable. They keep it for a few months, don’t want to deal with it, and then get rid of it. These seem exactly the sort of people who would do that.
Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen was talking about his cat in some recent video. He found it in or near a dumpster by some movie theatre that he worked at, along with some other cat. He took them to the vet, the vet was disinterested, so Newt kept the cats. The male cat died shortly thereafter but the female cat survived and that’s the cat that he still has.
I think that he’s had it for at least a few years so he seems to be looking after it. So good for the Ideas Man, I guess.
He also had a livestream recently where somebody in the chat was calling PVC Bondage Guy “fat” and she talked about how she was in special education. Should I shoehorn that into here or make that a separate article? No, I think I have enough material just in those two things to get a full article.
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Zombie Gums Soup and Madilynn Paige
So Erin was cooking it up in her crock pot recently. Lentil soup. What the fuck? Even her soup choices are bafflingly terrible. Isn’t that a Jewish thing? Let me look this up.
Yeah. I think so. I’m seeing a lot of references to enjoying it on Shabbat Toldot, for example, whatever that is.
Why would this be the soup that she went for? Is she Jewish? Is lentil soup popular in California? Maybe it is. It seems the sort of froufrou bullshit that those types enjoy.
But does she understand that she lives in rural Pennsylvania or New Jersey now? How about a soup with some substance that real, rugged, hard-working men like Mike Matei can enjoy? Fucking lentil soup? Shove it up your ass, Erin.
Then somebody suggests that she try cooking chili. Yeah. What the fuck? That’s the obvious choice. And incredibly, Erin says, “Iāve actually never made chili lol. I probably should try it.”
What the fuck is Mike doing? Why is he with this woman? She can’t cook, she can’t hold a conversation, she’s a complete moron, she doesn’t share his interest in video games or anything else, they have nothing in common, and she’s annoying as fuck. Mike, there’s more to life than buttsex. Find somebody more suitable.
Never made chili. How is it possible? I know that it’s typically a dish that men make but she’s been living with this guy for how many years now? And you can still make your fucking gay ass versions of chili. Vegetarian chili, tofu, serve it over rice, I don’t give a shit. But she’s never bothered to do this.
So then the same guy replies with “They sell a small bag with spice mixes, masa and instructions. You have to add ground beef, stewed tomatoes and kidney beans.”
Yeah. I think that he’s talking about the Wick Fowler Two Alarm Chili Kit. I used to get it and it was the best chili I ever had. A few years ago, I was reading some complaints about the product. Apparently, they changed the ingredients. Lowered the amount of salt or something and people were complaining.
They don’t sell it in the UK. I considered importing it but never bothered. And you can just recreate the kit anyway. People have broken it down into the individual components. I never bothered doing that either, though. I just go with whatever shitty spice mixes are in the grocery store. I’ve tried multiple times using recipes and doing the spices myself and it always tastes…fine but not like chili. So I just use the shitty packages now for a bland but “at least it tastes like chili” experience.
I don’t get it. Mike is sitting there just collecting money from Twitch and letting the interest grow in his savings account from all of that money he made selling his stake in Cinemassacre to Screenwave. He has two cars. He lets her travel across the country to visit her parents twice a month. He has a second home that he keeps solely to store his Halloween decorations. And this bitch walks in and says, “Hey, would you like some lentil soup?” Why does he put up with it? What a disgusting way to repay all that he’s given her.
I’m reminded of the time when Erin disclosed that she considers candy apples to be some kind of rare delicacy and Mike, incredulous, said that he’s probably eaten a thousand candy apples. I talk about it here:
What has she been doing with her life? Never made chili. Never ate a candy apple.
And when are we going to get a fucking update on her zombie gums? I fear never. She’s ways past due for her promised update. I think that because I wrote about it, I shamed her into dropping the subject. Thank fuck, frankly. Somebody had to do it. NOBODY wants to hear about that disgusting bullshit. Why didn’t Mike say something? “Honey, I know you’re excited about your zombie gums but maybe some things can remain private.” Simple. Problem solved.
No wonder Mike seems to always eat out. Fucking lentil soup? And just in a crock pot. Everything tastes the same coming out a crock pot. But it’s a zero effort way to cook which is perfect for old Zero Effort Erin aka Zombie Gums Erin.
In non-soup news, I’m still holding a vigil for Madilynn Paige. She still hasn’t logged onto her Model Mayhem page. It’s been over a month and she used to visit it regularly. I’m getting more and more convinced that she’s the person who Newt so callously mentioned died shortly after shooting that reprehensible Amityville Pool Toy Massacre movie.
She presumably killed herself. And I can’t believe that Newt is just cranking out his usual bullshit videos about soda and the like and tweeting about other prostitutes who he knows. And his response in the video was appalling. “Hey, she had other problems. I’m not bothered. This isn’t on me.”
This is somebody who he paraded around as his new “muse” FOR MONTHS and tried to include her in all of his shitty projects that never go anywhere. All just to get back at Horseface. And then she was apparently a bitch during the filming of this “movie.” I’m sure that she was. But Newt knew that she was a horrible person going in. I certainly pointed it out a billion times.
I’m not going to pretend that Miss Paige was a good person. She was an AWFUL person. Absolutely horrible. Annoying, self-centered, obsessed with swindling money from retards, a conwoman, a user of people, completely without morals. But I still feel bad about what I wrote about her, especially if she really did kill herself. Anybody would. But not Newt. Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks and he did way more than write blog articles about this woman.
Newt paid this woman for sex. He put her in his shitty “movies”. He used her to try to make Horseface jealous. And then when she was “difficult” “on set”, he made fun of her in his shitty Youtube videos about how she considers herself to be Meryl Streep.
This is a woman who was living a completely deluded existence. Masquerading as a hot chick, trying to earn money from her appearance, and looking like…that. It’s something that we see all the time. Horseface is the same. Johanna from Hack the Movies. This disturbing woman who Newt recently tweeted about:
“FunCoupleVegas”? No thank you, madam. Leave me out of your “fun.”
It must be difficult. It must take a toll on you mentally. You’re trying to be a hot chick, you have all of these pictures out there, and people are saying, “This is fucking gross. What are you thinking?” But instead of getting a job like a normal person and stopping that shit, they just continue. They continue with this delusion that they’re hot chicks, feeding on the compliments of literal retards. It’s not a healthy way to conduct your life.
And they end up doing these things in communities where the bar for hot chicks is lower. So horror shit, retro video games, nerd topics. These women gravitate to these communities because that’s their level. They’re preying on retards.
So it’s disgusting behaviour from the women as well. I’m not discounting that. But it’s also sad. There has to be some measure of pity along with the condemnation. It can’t be easy when a non-retard sees your pictures and says, “What on earth are you doing?” Getting shaken into reality can be a jarring and difficult experience when you’ve surrounded yourself with sycophantic retards for so long.
And Miss Paige in particular REALLY leaned into the nerd shit AND the horror shit. Her profile is full of references about how much she loves Dungeons & Dragons, for example. The woman never played the game in her life but these are the people she’s going for. Giant nerds who play Dungeons & Dragons and are just happy to see ANY woman.
So what can we learn from this? How can we avoid these terrible situations in the future? Well, for one thing, Newt needs to stop his disgusting behaviour of dragging desperate prostitutes onto his channel and exploiting them. No amount of prostitutes is going to get Horseface back, you asshole. Just stop it.
Those shitty “movies” that never get released have to stop. All of this. Do something constructive with your life, Newt. You have zero talent for this and people are fucking killing themselves as a result.
And people like Horseface and Johanna…somebody needs to sit them down and have some kind of “you’re not a hot chick” intervention. It’s not an easy thing to say but you could be saving lives by doing this. Go there with a list of jobs and hobbies that these people could do instead. Praise their good qualities. It might be a little difficult with Horseface but there must be something.
As for that woman in Las Vegas, that’s a more difficult situation. I assume that she’s being manipulated by her husband/pimp.
Anyway, it’s unfortunate. I’m going to go order some lentil soup from a gas station now.
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Swamp Zombie 2’s Big Australian Premiere
This is just sad. I’m surprised that he uploaded this. Although, he did bury it in the “shorts” section.
It’s a handful of old drunks in a cinema. I think that he’s showing the totality of the audience at 0:23. About seven people.
Then some old skank, no offense to this lady but it’s true, says “Hey Newt. Thanks for the great movie. I love that shit. And look…my shirt…awesome…and I (drunken inaudibles)” and then she makes a zombie motion.
But she shows the shirt…and the guy filming laughs…but…what’s the significance of the shirt? I think it says “Bauhaus”. Only the “Bau” is visible. Is this a movie or something? Or is she expressing her fondness for Weimer Republic art movements?
Oh, I looked it up. It’s some old English band that did horror shit.
How is that connected to Newt, though? I think that she just wanted to show her tits.
Then it moves to the host of this little event. It’s hard to understand but I think that her name is Sucky the Sucklicious Spectre. I’m not joking. She’s some overweight goth chick, as is typical. And she gives the most generic endorsement possible.
“I absolutely loved…(panicking)…this film.”
SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE NAME OF THE MOVIE. She’s never seen it and she’s not going to see it. It reminded me of this:
Krusty saying, “I heartily endorse this event or product.”
Then the guy filming just screams as the woman shakes her fat tits and the video ends abruptly.
It’s fucking hilarious.
How could he upload this? Does he think that this makes him or his shitty film look at all impressive? This was just part of some stupid “indy” horror film thing that some cinema in Perth was running for the local elderly, drunk community.
And the above video is what was apparently played before the screening of this shitty movie. Newt gave us a “tease” of this intro before but now we can watch it in all its glory. I already talked about the first two minutes and twenty seconds here:
So we start at 2:20. It turns out that he stopped the video there, which was mid-word, because his cat knocked over the tripod. And then rather than reshoot anything, he just left all of this shit in there. Why bother putting effort into anything?
2:45 – Newt talks about the various films that he plagiarised from to make this shitty movie. Escape from New York, Robocop, Gremlins 2. “I wanted to make the anti-sequel.”
I have no idea what that means, Newt. Is plagiarising what an “anti-sequel” is?
He does this all the time. Every script or whatever that he shit out in a day is always described as “(Movie A) combined with (Movie B).” He’s completely incapable of coming up with his own ideas. The fucking Ideas Man over here.
I’m bored out of my mind. I’ve been watching for three minutes. So five minutes into the video. This is going on waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Twelve minutes of this rambling bullshit?
6:00 – Shout out to old Horseface. God. Like anybody there gives a fuck about Newt’s obsession over his ex-girlfriend.
6:30 – He talks about how the movie was only made as an excuse to spend time with “friends” by which he means Horseface. I think that this is like the third time that he’s mentioned this so far.
7:00 – Newt says that he had a premiere of Swamp Zombies 2 in Philadelphia and his father was there and said that he was proud of him. Newt is obsessed with his parents saying that they’re proud of him and/or that they love him. It’s pathetic. Who gives a shit? Why does he keep talking about this? Why would he mention this in this intro video to the movie? Nobody wants to hear about his psychological hangups over Horseface or his parents. Just show the fucking piece of shit movie.
And my god, imagine showing this “tits and gore” trash to your parents and then your father saying, “Stay the course, Newt. I’m proud of you.”
This is his father who he hasn’t spoken to in YEARS because his father voted for Trump, by the way.
Oh look at this. Apparently his father said, “You were really funny and there’s tits in it.”
The retard apple doesn’t seem to fall far from the retard tree. What a wholesome family story that is.
8:00 – “I used to be on another Youtube show that was popular and people used to send me copies to sign.”
Newt obsessed over getting from Screenwave for wholesale plagiarism.
Newt then talks about a prostitute he was with at a hotel. Totally unneccessary but this is what he does. He wants people to think that he’s some lady’s man.
9:30 – “The people who still talk to me who were part of this movie…”
YET ANOTHER Horseface reference. I can’t believe that nobody who knows this guy is begging him to stop this shit and go get help. He’s embarassing himself every fucking day with this shit.
This thing just keeps going. Shut the fuck up, Newt.
11:45 – “I got to kiss a really attractive girl.”
Horseface. He’s talking about Horseface again. No wonder she moved 1000 miles away. This guy is fucking insane and probably dangerous.
Absolutely terrible video. I finally made it to the end. This bizarre, whiny piece of shit played for TWELVE MINUTES before the movie began. How many people got up and left? You started with 7 people in the audience and maybe only three stuck around for the movie to start.
This guy doesn’t have a fucking clue how to behave. Who would release a video like that to be played before a movie begins? The cat knocks the camera down, he’s just talking off the cuff, and it’s full of bizarre references to his psychological hangups. This is how you want to present yourself?
There was that horrible video he made where his “friend” recently died and all he could talk about is how awesome it was to fuck her up the ass. Absolutely shocking. But this is what he does and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
Madilynn Paige dies recently. Presumably from suicide. This is somebody who Newt was promoting CONSTANTLY a couple of years ago, trying to get back at Horseface. She kills herself after making a movie with Newt. She clearly had addiction problems and was a prostitute.
Newt literally says, “I don’t feel bad about it. It’s not on me.” The old James Rolfe, “I’m sorry even though I didn’t do it” but minus the apology.
He’s a sick, demented, subhuman, piece of shit.
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Metz is back aka RIP Madilynn Paige – Newt Wallen
Yeah. We know. She was in a recent review of some movie called Sinners. I wrote about it but it was soooooooooooo fucking boring that I just ended up talking about PVC Bondage Guy’s odd passion for Rammstein and comparing German to Dutch. These weren’t topics that they were discussing, it was just me trying to get through the video. So I deleted the article before it was posted.
0:00 – “Apparently, people in the comments think that you and I aren’t friends any more.”
Newt seems puzzled by this. Let me give you a clue, Ideas Man. It’s from the video that I discuss here:
In said video, you talk REPEATEDLY about somebody not talking to you any more because of some shit you said about them in yet another video. And the video that’s being referenced, which has since been removed, had you talking with PVC Bondage Guy.
Newt is at pains to never reveal who he’s talking about. I theorized that he was talking about Fallon, which I now don’t believe is true because he’s talked about her since then and seems to be talking to her about the fate of Sucks 2 Suck, for example. But it’s reasonable for somebody to assume that the person you were talking about was PVC Bondage Guy because that’s the video that you removed. And you never stated who it was who isn’t talking to you any more so it invites speculation. He must have mentioned this woman who doesn’t talk to him any more 15 fucking times in that Self-INflicted (sic) video, although obviously not by name.
Fucking Ideas Man. Fucking Idiot Man.
0:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she’s moving to New Jersey. Good for her. Get out of that hobbit basement apartment that she’s sharing with some random Mexican guy, apparently. Hopefully, it’s a better apartment and situation.
“And I live in…well, I live in where I’ve been recording.”
More vague nonsense from the self-proclaimed Ideas Man. This is where the confusion arises, you fucking retard. He’s so used to talk about “the Redhead” and “the Italian” and “that place that I used to work at” that he doesn’t even know how to speak clearly any more. Everything has to be coded bullshit. What is somebody who’s just coming into the videos going to take away from any of this? It’s going to be completely indecipherable.
Anyway, thank fuck that PVC Bondage Guy is wearing a normal fucking shirt for once. It’s some horror shit or a band or something but at least it’s a shirt.
1:45 – “We still talk almost every week, mostly through sharing memes.”
Well, that’s riveting. Why does PVC Bondage Guy even put up with this shit? I’d block him for spam. It’s complete zero effort trash. Try speaking like a human being, you asshole.
“We had somebody in our Discord pass away.”
I wonder if Newt tweeted about this. I don’t think that he made the cut. You have to be a celebrity to earn a retweet by Newt. Any celebrity. He retweets every dead celebrity he can find.
So he mentions that for two seconds and then laughs and moves on to the next topic. This is how much Newt cares about his legions of fans. “So this guy died. Haha. Anyway, moving on, something funny happened at work.”
Oh, and no makeup for PVC Bondage Guy. This video is much more watchable than usual. Oh, and in that deleted article, I suggested that PVC Bondage Guy start wearing traditional German dresses like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music in respect to her passion for German language and culture. I think they’re called “dirndls”.
And the funny thing that happened to Newt is that somebody he used to work with got engaged. Umm…what? If there’s more to the story, he didn’t share it. It was just, “Oh, somebody we used to work with got engaged. Isn’t that a scream?”
No, Newt. What’s funny about matrimony? We’re just supposed to know. More vague bullshit that nobody can possibly appreciate. WE DON’T KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS, NEWT. EXPLAIN WHY IT’S FUNNY.
2:45 – “Somebody in one of the shitty comments was like, ‘I keep trying to find people to hang out with me because Metz doesn’t talk to me any more’”
You invited the comments by making that pathetic video where you begged forgiveness from an unnamed person who very well could have been Metz. Stop the vague bullshit and maybe people will understand what’s going on, you fucking retard.
And are people really leaving “shitty comments”? Are they leaving ANY comments? I’ve not seen any comments critical of the Ideas Man ever. He presumably deletes them. Newt must be getting LOADS of “negative” comments just from those no-lifers on Reddit.
And in any event, he IS trying to find somebody to replace PVC Bondage Guy. He always has to have some skank in the video because he thinks that’s what people want to see. He’s said this very thing many times before. He’s said that people don’t want to watch videos where it’s just him. He’s said that people are only watching the videos for PVC Bondage Guy. That’s why he has this rotating crop of prostitutes that he brings in.
3:15 – “We shots two videos with…with the one girl and she didn’t like…she didn’t realise that a conversation with me goes in the way that it goes.”
You really paint a picture, Newt. WHO IS THIS PERSON? YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
4:30 – Now he’s talking about Amber, one of the prostitutes he hires, and how she’s a mother and has a respectable job and how she was uncomfortable with some videos she made with him. They said stuff that she didn’t want released. But then Newt says that she just went with it and didn’t ask for the video to be edited, like some other (un-named) prostitute did.
He goes on to say, “She’ll call me…I was going to say what she was doing but I’m not going to. She’s ‘relaxing’ on a Saturday night and she’ll call me and then we’ll wind up talking for three or four hours.”
This is the mother with the responsible job that you’re talking about? What is he suggesting that she’s doing? Drinking? Drugs? Masturbating? Whatever it is, it’s not something that a mother with a respectable job would want people to know about. But fucking retard Ideas Man is just putting this shit out there. Yet again.
This is the same bullshit that caused him to upload the groveling apology video to some unnamed prostitute who he was talking about. And in that apology video, he went on and on and on about how he’s seeing a psychiatrist over this and he wants to figure out why he keeps doing this. Why he keeps putting his prostitute “friends” on blast in the videos that he makes.
JUST STOP IT, YOU FUCKING SELF-OBSESSED CRETIN. But he says this stuff because he wants the horntards to know about all of the prostitutes who he’s talking to. He thinks that this is something to boast about. And he doesn’t care that these boasts make these women uncomfortable. He only cares about himself. That’s the root of all of his problems. He lacks any empathy for anybody.
6:30 – “For like a week when I changed my medication, I was so constipated.”
He says this right after PVC Bondage Guy talks about her friend having a ten pound baby. I know where this is going. What a pile of shit Newt is. He’s comparing his “friend” PVC Bondage Guy’s story about her friend having a baby to himself having a bowel movement. Everything has to be about Newt. Newt, just shut the fuck up and listen to what PVC Bondage Guy is saying. You don’t have to interject with your own revolting, inappropriate, and self-obsessed stories all of the time.
Fortunately, PVC Bondage Guy completely ignored the comment. I’ve never been prouder of PVC Bondage Guy. She didn’t entertain that shit for one second. She just continued with her story. Fuck Newt. Take a laxative and shut the fuck up.
15:15 – PVC Bondage Guy says, “I didn’t know I was coming over tonight. I was super late for work and I didn’t call ahead or whatever so they were like, ‘We’re going to send you home. See you next shift.’”
PVC Bondage Guy isn’t the dynamic go-getter that I thought she was. Not only was she “super late”, she didn’t even bother calling. Why was she late anyway? I’m surprised that she didn’t get fired. This is probably a normal thing for her. It goes to show what kind of job it is. They can’t afford to fire anybody. It’s a job that nobody wants due to a combination of low-pay and the drudgery of the work.
15:30 – This is Newt talking now. “Last Saturday I worked at night because I had a funeral during the day.”
I wonder if he tweeted about the person who died. Or during the funeral, did he give a eulogy about all of the buttsex that he and the recently deceased engaged in? And then tried to pick up Horseface?
Newt says that his boss is also his landlord. Who would want that? If you lose the job, you’re also going to lose your home. Plus, the guy knows how much Newt is making and how much he can charge in rent. If Newt ever stops paying rent for whatever reason, the guy can just deduct it from his salary. Not that any of this stuff is legal but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. I wouldn’t want to give this much power to somebody. Just find your own fucking place.
17:30 – PVC Bondage Guy is talking about her failing health and isn’t sure if it’s because of age (she’s in her late 20s) or because of wrestling. Well, have you considered the possibility that it might be because you’ve DOUBLED IN SIZE in the past six months or so?
Anyway, PVC Bondage Guy then talks about movies that she’s seen recently.
What about Das Boot? I was watching it again a few months ago. I watched the German version and then the English version and then the extended version, which I think was in German. The actors all recorded their lines in both German and English, which is nice.
PVC Bondage Guy and I should be language study buddies. I wonder if she’s on DuoLingo. We could encourage each other. “Like” our stupid “achievements.” I just have the free DuoLingo and I have the free version of Memrise too but I have the paid version of Busuu, which I find…umm…it’s fine, I guess. It gives you the reasons behind the grammar and whatnot, which DuoLingo doesn’t do, but to be honest I sometimes don’t even read the explanations.
I was watching an interview with Karl Dƶnitz, Grand Admiral of the German navy in World War II, and he seemed like a stand up guy. From all accounts, the German navy behaved impecably, as opposed to, for example, the US navy who fired on lifeboats and the like.
22:00 – Newt is talking about disgusting violent films that he saw recently. Perhaps Newt can share some interesting trivia about World War II as well. Shadows on smokestacks and whatnot.
30:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that her wrestling name is Red Velvet Cake. What? First of all, there’s already a wrestler called Red Velvet. Who came up with this name? Newt “The Plagiarising Man” Wallen?
But secondly, why such a feminine name for PVC Bondage Guy, who’s so clearly a MAN? Play up to your macho image. She worked in a bowling alley. Can we do something with that? Famous bowlers…Pete Weber…umm…and there’s…Pete Weber. Brand names…oh, Brunswick. That’s a good name. Big Brunswick. Illustrates her large, hard nature, like the bowling ball.
Instead, she’s up there in a dress doing the ring announcing. What the fuck? Why isn’t she standing up for herself? “Hey, I’m a guy. Enough of this girly bullshit.”
34:00 – PVC Bondage Guy has been talking about all of the shit that she did for her recent birthday but her eyes light up when she mentioned a sushi place near to her new home that has a buffet. She’ll be putting them out of business soon.
Then Newt mentions that Horseface’s family lives near to where PVC Bondage Guy’s new home is. PVC Bondage Guy isn’t interested and claims that she wouldn’t even recognise Horseface. Really? I’d recognise Horseface. How could you not? She’s the woman in half a top with that face. I guess that PVC Bondage Guy isn’t watching any stuff from Tony from Hack the Movies or going to Horseface’s self-absorbed Twitter.
36:15 – Newt is talking about, I think, the filming of Amityville Pool Toy Massacre, but, again, he’s always vague. “We had a person on set who we had a very, very difficult time with and then we found out that they passed away. And I don’t feel bad about it because there was a lot of other factors going on there and I was very friendly and very open before that whole thing happened. So it’s like, this ain’t on me.”
Then he finishes by joking about what a “rough weekend” that was and how it threw off his “ph balance.” About this person who died, presumably by suicide.
I think that he’s talking about what’s her name, that crack addict. Again, no names are given and he keeps it vague but he’s talked about this difficult person on the set before and I always assumed it was the crack addict.
I found it. Madilynn Paige.
https://allmylinks.com/madilynnminx
Her TikTok is gone.
Instagram is restricted.
https://www.modelmayhem.com/MandiMinx
She was last on her Model Mayhem page on 29 March.
She was definitely on Twitter but I can’t find her page now. But in this article, Newt removed a video with this woman.
Oh, I found it.
https://twitter.com/Madilynn_Paige_/
Tweets are protected.
So I’m saying it was Madilynn Paige, this woman who Newt constantly paraded around as a substitute for Horseface for a while. She killed herself shortly after shooting this reprehensible “tits and gore” movie with Newt. And then Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about it and says, “Hey, it’s not my fault. I was nice to that whore.”
Where’s that article where she was with her friend in front of a Chinese restaurant?
That blonde woman was also in this pool toy movie, I believe. Her name is Kaity Navi McAllister. She’s on TikTok and hasn’t posted since October of last year.
So maybe it was her who died. I don’t know. Newt intentionally leaves all of this shit vague and then gets upset when people speculate. What are we supposed to think, Ideas Man? You tell us that somebody you recently “worked” with died, you seem to give zero shits about it, and you don’t bother to say who it is. People are going to wonder. Not many people, because who the fuck is watching your shitty videos, but I’m watching and I’m wondering. And I think it’s completely deplorable how you treated this Madilynn woman, who clearly had addiction issues and was a prostitute, you paraded her around as your new “muse” to try to get back at Horseface, and then when she kills herself all you can say is, “Oopsies. Well, she probably had other problems too.”
Fuck you, you complete fucking piece of shit. He didn’t even bother to re-tweet anything about her death.
Then he just immediately starts talking about the next “tits and gore” film that he’s planning on shooting. It’s completely deplorable. Whether it’s Madilynn Paige or not, SOMEBODY died recently from this shitty pool toy “movie”, presumably by suicide, and he doesn’t give the slightest of fucks. It’s unbelievable. He’s the worst human being in the world. He has to be.
38:00 – After PVC Bondage Guy jokes about appearing on Hack the Movies, she says that she’s been calling off of work and wrestling a lot recently just…because she’s moving. You can do that? I’ve moved 50 times. Never missed a day of work because of it.
39:00 – Shoutout to me calling Newt’s “friends” “prostitutes”.
47:30 – Newt talks about going to a funeral again. Maybe he’s talking about Madilynn Paige’s funeral.
So that’s the video. Since these videos seem to be mostly for my benefit these days, I look forward to the passive-aggressive follow up video, based on this article, where he actually says who died. Can I suggest that you fake a little attrition as well, Ideas Man?
I’d also like to hear what attracted PVC Bondage Guy to Rammstein. I get it from an ideological perspective. I knew some skinheads in high school who liked Rammstein. But I’m 20 years older than PVC Bondage Guy. Aren’t there any more contemporary German bands that she can enjoy?