Gamer Girls

She’s been working on this one for months. A lazy, zero-effort video where she flips through a catalog looking at games she’s never had from a catalog she was too young to ever have seen. Indeed, she’s not even familiar with the store, as she’ll quickly admit.

0:00 – “I really like the Electronics Boutique logo. I remember seeing…uhh…pictures of it in…uhh…old malls and it’s just neon and it looks awesome.”

Good stuff, Erin. You saw PICTURES of the LOGO. WHO GIVES A SHIT?

And she’s talking about Retail Archeology. He’s one of the beta orbiter Youtubers who talks to her. Think Joe from Game Sack but formulaic videos about dead malls instead of formulaic videos about video games.

0:15 – “I have more memories of Game Stop than I do EB Games but people older than me said that some people would call it ‘ElBo’, you know, because of the ‘Electronics Boutique’. I think that’s pretty clever and a cute little nickname for it.

Cute. Fucking adorable. God, she’s just so fucking stupid. It’s infuriating. WHY MAKE THE VIDEO? You know nothing about this place, you’ve never been there, it’s before your time, you’ve played none of the games in your spare time. Fucking stop this shit.

I’ve been suggesting that she do a video on Montgomery Wards for years so that she can talk about the “cute” nickname of Monkey Wards. When can we expect that video?

Or take a page from Kieran when he expressed disbelief that anybody called the Howard Johnson chain of hotels “HoJo”. Erin can review…I don’t know…old Howard Johnson soaps and shampoos. Do you suppose there are any on Ebay? I don’t think that Howard Johnson really exists any more.

I’m not seeing any toiletries but I am seeing an old Howard Johnson menu. Wow. Look at these prices. Forty-five cents for a crushed coffee sundae. This must be from the 1950s. Three bucks for a steak with “french fried potatoes” and tomatoe slices. Oh, and they even have a menu item called “HOJO cola”. So even as far back as this, they were calling the place Hojo. And officially. I had no idea.

See, something like this could be interesting. But you have to have something to fucking say. I mean, even this stupid fucking catalogue from 1991 COULD be interesting but fucking personality blackhole Erin Plays is going to make this interesting? There’s no fucking way. “I never had this before. This is cute. This is expensive.” Fuck off.

0:45 – There’s an offer of a free sports bag when you pre-order some game. The sample bag is red. Erin insists on telling you the colour of the bag MULTIPLE times and says that she believes that the bag that you get is red. No. The bag you receive probably looks nothing like the picture. That’s just an example you fucking cretin. They probably sent a variety of bags out. Whatever they had in stock. Or maybe they didn’t end up sending any bags out at all.

Oh fuck. Twenty-five minutes of this total banality.

Really annoying pronunciation of “Electronic”, by the way. Long “e” sound at the beginning.

1:15 – There’s an edit and she’s schooling all of us gaming noobs on the Star Wars games on the SNES. She’s a real pro, having played the games one time, on stream, for money.

1:30 – She claims that she misses “guide books”, implying that she ever owned one. Fucking nobody misses them. They were practically a required purchase for the Sierra adventure games that I enjoyed in my youth. Seven bucks or whatever for a little booklet that solved all of the puzzles in the game, including the cryptic bullshit puzzles that they intentionally included solely to sell these fucking hint books. You either used a yellow marker to “magically” reveal the answers in the book or, later, they had little red strips of…there’s a word for it but I can’t think what it is. Plastic see-through windows. You’d hold these up against the book, and it would reveal the answer. The answers were covered by red dots and the lettering was blue so by using the red window thing on them, it would only show the blue letters. I don’t quite know the science behind it.

They had that kind of method in other things but I can’t remember what. But that marker thing was in children’s travel activity books. I remember those. I’d always get some for vacations. They had different age ranges on them, always something like “From ages 7 to 77” or “8 to 88”. I don’t know what they were called. But they different games and shit that required the use of this marker to interact with them. Battleship was one of the games and there were words games I think. Shit like this.

See, this is something that COULD be said in a video to make things at least slightly interesting but Erin doesn’t have any stories like this. Because she never fucking did anything. This is all fake. She never had a hint book or a guide book or whatever she’s calling them. If she did, she’d fucking regale us with a story about them, like I just did. Instead, she just said that they were “cool” and moved on. Not even exaggerating.

Then she says that you can get an NHL watch if you pre-order some hockey game. That’s it. That’s all she says. You want to say anything about watches, Erin?

I find it mildly interesting that they’d offer a watch for pre-ordering a game. What kind of watch was it? Are they worth anything on Ebay? Let’s look this up. Have you ever owned a watch before, Erin? Have you ever watched a hockey game? Is there ANYTHING that you can contribute to this watch ad? No. Not a single fucking thing.

2:00 – She wonders what it would have been like to have been a kid when the 3D0 was being sold.

Erin…just do a video on things that YOU experienced. This is just constant fucking pandering to her horntard audience who are all about 10 years older than her. Fuck them. Talk about things that YOU like. They don’t care. They will still watch the fucking videos. They’re watching THIS for fuck’s sake. They’re watching a charisma blackhole going through an old catalogue for 25 minutes and saying NOTHING.

2:00 – Then she advertises some 3D0 video that she did. The only 3D0 game that she ever played. Briefly, for a Youtube video.

2:15 – If you send 10 Lifesavers wrappers and a receipt, you’ll get a $10 rebate from Nabisco. Now, I find this interesting and I have things that I can say about this. But let’s give negative charisma Erin a chance first.

Erin thinks that you can get ten dollars worth of Chips A Hoy with this rebate and finds this to be a puzzling promotion. It’s “random” according to her.

Not “random” at all, retard. You clearly don’t know what a rebate is and you’re unaware that Nabisco made Lifesavers. Why else would Nabisco advertise this? You fucking moron.

And a rebate isn’t a coupon so that you can buy specific products. A rebate is CASH, MONEY. They send you a fucking cheque. That’s why I found this interesting. Lifesavers were probably 50 cents in 1993. So if you buy $5 dollars worth of Lifesavers, you get $10 back, after purchasing the game. That’s a pretty good deal. Plus, you have five dollars worth of Lifesavers now.

Then she starts schooling us with her expansive video game knowledge again.

3:15 – She’s going over the prices now. $51.99 for Shinobi. She’s schooling us on how video games were always expensive.

3:30 – She’s comparing prices between the “Genesis II” and the “Gensis Core”. What’s the difference? She’s mentioned this “Genesis II” in a previous sleep-enducing catalogue stream. What the fuck is a “Genesis II”? I’ve never heard of this. Walk us through this, Erin. You’re the professional “gamer”. You should know this. Why does one model cost $30 more than the other? From the description in the catalogue, the “Genesis II” has digital and stereo sound and a “compact design”. So it was just a different model. Like the fat Playstation and the slim Playstation. But these companies were calling them different systems and trying to get away with charging more for the newer design. Right? That’s what’s happening? Tell us about it, Erin.

Of course she doesn’t. She has no idea what’s going on. She’s not even reading the descriptions. She’s just looking at the pictures and saying, “That’s cute. That’s cool. That’s expensive.”

3:45 – She’s telling us about how she “always” goes back to playing Cool Spot. This is a game in the catalogue, of course. By “always” she means, “I played it once on stream, for money.”

4:15 – She’s talking about a Dinosaurs For Hire game, based on a comic book that she never heard of. She doesn’t even realise that it is based on a comic book despite the fact that the cover of the game tells you this. Then she misidentifies a triceratops as a stegasaurus. She’s a big triceratops fan, guys.

4:30 – Now she’s on a different page and says that this particular page “blew my mind.” Let’s see what’s so mind-blowing.

A Bubsy game was $57.99 whereas Bart’s Nightmare is $49.99. That’s it. That’s what she found mind-blowing. A slight price difference, presumably due to the fact that Bubsy was a newly-released game and Bart’s Nightmare had been out for a while.

But she thinks that because Bart’s Nightmare is a superior game (which I didn’t think it is, incidently) that it should cost more than Bubsy. Because that’s how game pricing works, doesn’t it? Before a game is released, a governing body plays the game, determines how good it is, and then prices it accordingly. Good games are priced higher than poor games.

Fucking moron. All of the games followed the same basic pricing. Super Mario Bros didn’t cost any more just because it was better than Bad Street Brawler. You took a chance. New releases were all sold for $50 or whatever and the price dropped the longer the game was out. That’s how it worked.

And she seems to think that Bubsy is some obscure, shitty game. I don’t think it is. I’ve never played it but I think it’s pretty well known and at least halfway decent. There were multiple games in the series, I think.

5:00 – She’s totally bamboozled by a controller called ASCII Pad. She’s never seen the word “ASCII” before. Totally unfamiliar with ASCII art. She’d probably find it “cute” if she knew what it was. She’s a big 1990s internet fan.

5:30 – She suggests that finding an unboxed Genesis cable would be rare. Oh, sure. Probably valuable too. Who wouldn’t want a mint, in box Genesis cable? Is there anything on Ebay?

I’m not seeing that exact thing but I do see somebody selling the box only for a Genesis cable and they’re asking $15. Good luck with that.

Oh, here’s another box only Genesis cable for $15.

Here’s another one for $10. The box is pretty beat up.

So not big money and nobody is buying that shit but Erin thinks that it’s rare and probably cute.

Oh, and then she says that she looked them up on Ebay and they weren’t so expensive so probably not that rare. So she actually did something for once.

6:00 – Loooooooooooooooooooooooong, boring story about the colours of some Spider-Man game. I won’t even get into it. This woman needs professional help.

6:45 – Young Indiana Jones. Erin says that she doesn’t like any of the Indiana Jones games. Well, you only played one or two, on stream, for money, so your opinion is worthless.

And she doesn’t even mention the fact that this is a YOUNG Indiana Jones games. She doesn’t realise that The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles was a tv show. A bad one. These are the problems that one encounters when one flips through a catalogue for a shitty Youtube video from before your time. You tend not to know shit.

And even if she was going through a 2003 catalogue, I’m confident that she still wouldn’t know anything unless she stumbled across something to do with Britney Spears, “TRL”, or the colour pink.

6:45 – She refers to something called the “Sega CD 2”. She doesn’t explain what this is, why there’s the designation of “2” because she doesn’t know. I don’t fucking know. But I’d question it. Why are they trying to pass off a different version of the same system as a totally new system? It’s bullshit. It’s a weird quirk of the time, apparently.

7:15 – “So as we continue our journey through the EB Games catalogue, we go from purple to orange.”

She’s a complete fucking retard. Why the obsession with colours? This is pre-verbal shit. Most people get over colours by the time they’re no longer sitting in their own stool. But she has to mention every fucking colour that she sees.

7:30 – “So to get an NES Control Set…I always forget that they were called ‘Control Sets’”

BECAUSE NOBODY CALLED THEM THAT, YOU FUCKING MORON. But Erin “always” “forgets” this. HOW OFTEN IS IT COMING UP IN CONVERSATION?

Is she going to fancy dinner parties, with all of Mike’s money that he earned from puppeteering a retard named James Rolfe, wearing a sequined gown, sipping wine with the high society of rural Pennsylvania, and suddenly the subject of the NES Control Set comes up? And Erin strikes her head, humiliated, and says, “Oh, I always forget that it’s called the NES Control Set.” And Mike puts his arm around her, trying to comfort her, and says, “It’s alright, dear. Nobody’s infallible. Just the other day, I forgot that Carl Barks created Flintheart Glomgold.” And everyone shares a knowing laugh at how easily it can be people to forget even well-known things.

8:15 – Erin is obsessed with a typograpical error like she has autism all of a sudden. She just has fucking nothing to say so she has to obsess over complete minutia like colours and typos.

10:15 – She’s again obsessing over the cost of Bubsy. But she’s not even comparing Bubsy to a game that costs more than Bubsy. She’s comparing the game to Mario Paint, which cost two dollars MORE than Bubsy. So what’s the fucking problem?

10:30 – She claims that if your boyfriend likes Wing Commander, that’s a “red flag.” Why? I have no fucking idea. Nothing is explained, of course. She can’t explain anything. She doesn’t have any fully-formed thoughts in her head.

She then goes on to show truly shitty games that cost over $65, like Tuff E Nuff (which I’ve never even heard of), Clay Fighter, and Plok (although Plok is “only” $60). No reference to how outrageous it is that these terrible games are priced so highly, but Bubsy, which is cheaper than all of these games and undoubtedly a better game, gets a callback.

11:45 – She expresses surprise that the Game Boy games are cheaper than the console games. Yeah. That was the case, Erin. But she didn’t know this. This is all new to her.

12:00 – She talks about wanting a Super Scope. Naturally, she never got one. This is every single one of her stories.

12:15 – She’s talking about a controller that claims to work for both the SNES and the Genesis but doesn’t even talk about that. That’s the most interesting about this. Does it really work for both systems? Didn’t they have different controller ports? Even with an adapter of some sort, is it really that simple to just use the same controller on both systems? The two systems had different button layouts. How is that going to work? There are so many questions and Erin addresses NONE OF THEM because she doesn’t know anything about video games. So instead, she just talks about how “cute” the design is.

12:45 – She’s shocked that the controller has “slow-motion”. She’s never heard of this before. Despite the fact that the NES Advantage, perhaps the most well-known third-party controller of all time, had a slow-motion button. It just repeatedly paused the game. It was shit. But Erin, the super hardcore gamer, doesn’t know any of this.

13:00 Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome. We haven’t heard about this lie in a while.

13:30 – Now she’s talking about something called the “Super Advantage” which is apparently the SNES version of the NES Advantage. Erin claims to be familiar with the NES Advantage but…was surprised to see a controller that had a slow-motion function.

All that she says about this Super Advantage is that it has “more colours.” Go fuck yourself.

Oh fuck. Do I want to watch the rest of this? I think that I’ve written a lot already and I’m only halfway done. Well, I’ll power through. It’s only 12 minutes more. I’ll only comment on the “gems”.

14:00 – “Surf Ninjas. Never saw that movie and probably never will.” Eugh.

14:30 – “I haven’t seen Robocop 3.” Eugh.

“And of course T2 Judgement Day.”

Well, have you seen that one, Erin? Don’t leave us fucking hanging. Of course she hasn’t. If a movie doesn’t have at least one of the Spice Girls in it, she’s never seen it.

16:15 – “This is the Game Boy battery pack. I actually have never seen this.” Eugh.

“But that’s cool.”

Great stuff, Erin. You’re a real entertainer.

17:30 – She’s talking about shitty handheld games like the Tiger handhelds. “I’m obsessed with the Barbie one…”

Before I continue, I bet that it’s going to be because she likes the particular shade of pink.

Oh. No. She likes it because the art style on the case is “My era of Barbie.” Uh huh. I think talking about the shade of pink actually would have been slightly more interesting.

18:00 – Oh, Air Zonk music is playing now. She’s a big Air Zonk fan, guys.

I remember when Mike streamed Air Zonk, obviously for the first and last time ever, and he was confused why he would “turn into a robot” when he died. Because the character is a cyborg and when he dies, it’s like how in Terminator, his human…whatever…coating is peeled back to reveal his cybernetic skeleton. Duh. Learn your Air Zonk lore.

18:15 – “I like the little heart buttons. That’s pretty cute.”

Fuck you.

19:00 – She’s talking about what’s described as the “Nintendo Challenge Set.” Come on, Erin. Tell us how you “always” “forget” that the NES was called the the “Nintendo Challenge Set.”

21:00 – She says that the Turbo Duo could play CD-Gs.

Well? What the fuck is a CD-G? She doesn’t tell us because she doesn’t know.

22:00 – Microsoft Arcade. Oh fuck. She’s going to talk about the one PC game she owned as a child. I haven’t heard this a billion times already. It was a collection of games that had Pole Position on it. We get it. Move on.

22:45 – After looking at some PC games and not talking about ANY of them because she has zero familiarity with PC games, she starts looking at sound cards. The Sound Blaster, in particular. She says, “You needed this to play games like Doom and Wolfenstein on PCs.”

Pure ignorance. 100% wrong. She doesn’t even know what a sound card is. Absolutely was not required to play ANY game. The percentage of PC owners who had sound cards had to be less than 1%. You’re going to make a game for this 1% of the market? Total fucking moron.

“I like that they call it Blaster so you feel like you’re really getting something crazy, like you’re going to have crazy sound now.”

She’s talking out of her fucking anus. She literally knows NOTHING about this. It couldn’t be more clear. And she’s just making shit up.

Most PCs back in the day didn’t have a sound card. So game music was just shitty beeps and whatnot from whatever primitive sound mechanisim existed in the computer. I don’t know the technical details. But a sound card gave you a much richer sound with various synthetic intruments being capable of utilisation. So music and sound in games, for example, which I think was their main use, was a huge improvement. Companies had to develop the software so that it could use particular sound cards but if they did that, the experience was much better. That’s why you had to choose what sound card you had for games of this era, or “none”. “None” just gave you the shitty beeps that come from your computer.

Erin knows NONE of this. So she’s just looking at the name, a name that she’s never seen before (despite the fact that Sound Blaster is the most well-known sound card of all time), and says, “Oh, this must mean that it really blasts sound out. Totally cool.” She’s just blasting this shit straight out of her ass.

23:00 – “Now what does that look like to you.”

A joystick, Erin. But she’s trying to get the horntards worked up here.

Then she talks about Math Blaster: In Search of Spot. An obvious Star Trek reference. Erin, the mega Star Trek fan that she is, didn’t recognise it.

23:15 – “I didn’t have Mavis Beacon teaches typing.”

You don’t say.

24:30 – Then she ends the video with some complete bullshit about “corporate art” that made no sense whatsoever.

Great video, Erin. I’m glad that I waited four months for this. This was easily four months worth of work that went into this one. Tell us more about Sound Blaster.

Two hundred comments on this absolute drek. Unbelievable. These horntards will watch anything.

• “A game catalogue from ’93 and in the PC game section not a single Sierra game! Wtf”

This was from somebody with the name “sierrakobold6896” so he seems pretty into Sierra. Despite this, he doesn’t seem to know that Sierra had some kind of exclusive deal with Radio Shack. At least I think that they did. The only place I ever saw Sierra games was in Radio Shack and they were basically the only games that Radio Shack sold.

• “Love your Erin!! Your the prettiest of all the gaming girls”

Uh huh.

• “More of these, please! This was great and your commentary was hilarious!”

Which part?

• “Thunder Force 2 music! Axelay music!”

Totally generic comment that doesn’t even make sense. Right? So surely Erin didn’t reply to this one.

No, she did. You know why? Because it was from one of her Youtube beta orbiters Joe from Game Sack. She said “yup”. Good stuff, Erin. And Joe, stop trying to steal the love of Mike’s life from him. It’s embarassing.

• “Did you see the Tetris movie? Gameboy was a pretty important part of it apparently.”

No prizes for guessing Erin’s answer. But she does claim to have played the game a lot. Uh huh. Sure you did.

Not one person corrected her woefully incorrect information about sound cards. Or any of the litany of factual errors that she made. Except for that slow-motion button. A few people told her what that was about.

Anyway, what am I getting from Howard Johnson’s? I think that I’ll just go for the Grilled-in-Butter Frankforts and shove them right up Erin’s ass. Only 95 cents. What a bargain.

Well, Christmas is nearly here. Maybe you’ll spend it with your shrew of a wife and family. Maybe you’ll have a magical time with red-haired prostitutes as you dream about your muse who doesn’t talk to you any more. Maybe you’ll be getting fucked in the ass by a man you don’t love in exchange for Youtube promotion.

However you spend the holidays, let’s remember the birth of the Messiah in that humble manger. What is a manger anyway? A trough for feeding animals? Oh, that’s just where He was chilling after being born. But yeah, Jesus was born in a barn. I knew that much. They just put him in a trough because there was no more suitable place.

So we have Erin Plays: proof that an all-loving and all-powerful God cannot possibly exist. I know that it’s not quite the end of the year but I don’t think that Erin will release another video before the year is out. And even if she does, who gives a fuck? I’m calling an end to Erin’s 2024 Youtube output here.

Seven videos this year. SEVEN. I suppose that we should at least be thankful for that. She used to put out a video EVERY WEEK.

She had 18 videos last year.

Top Twelve Erin Plays Horntard Comments of 2023

She only had nine videos in 2022.

She had 28 in 2021. So even during covid, she was fairly busy. And that includes the time that she’d spend asking elderly neighbours if they need anything from the grocery store. Not actually picking anything up but just asking. “Oh, you need some laxatives? That’s cute. Anyway, I’m going to go cry in the bathtub now.”

38 videos in 2021.

34 videos in 2020. That was the year that she made the Power Pad video. She peaked. That was also the year when I found out about her and started the blog. Actually, it might have been 2019 when I first discovered her videos because I wrote on Reddit for a few months before I started the blog.

So I guess it was never 52 videos a year but it’s still a massive climbdown. Since 2022, she’s given up. She must have finally figured out that a personality blackhole with absolutely no interest in video games or experience with video games doesn’t make for a good Youtube channel about video games.

Nevertheless, the horntards have stuck by her. These are people who are literally mentally challenged. I’m not saying this to be insulting. Some of these people have Youtube channels where it’s plain as day that they’re mentally retarded. I don’t mean they’re doing something kooky for a video, I mean they’re walking with an odd gait, they have unusual mannerisms, and they are clearly what used to be described in the medical literature as “mentally retarded.”

Not everybody who goes to her channel is mentally retarded, of course. Some are “merely” autistic. But I’ve yet to see anybody who can be described as “normal” or “high functioning”. “Barely capable of independent living” is the highest level that any of Erin’s commentators can be placed at.

This is her fanbase. These are the horntards. She’s shaking down literal retards for money. So let’s check out the comments.

10. “Damn no o.f (laughing emoji)” – orangutanvintage

This was from the The Last Game Boy Color Games video but NONE of the comments I’m going to talk about today have anything to do with their respective video.

It’s just a guy complaining about Erin not being on OnlyFans. There were a few comments, but not many (about three) along these lines. I just used this one as representative of them all.

9. “I’d snuggle up on the control panel with you, Erin.” – samusvikerness661

This was one of several comments in my list from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quarter Arcade Review video. This is the oldest video that she has from 2024. By her latest video, Resident Evil Gaiden on the Game Boy Color, which was released in October 2024, there weren’t any comments worthy of being in the top ten. There’s a noticeable drop off in crazy comments not only with this year compared to previous years but just within this year. As the months go on, there are fewer sexual comments.

I struggled to get ten comments for this year. I went through all of the videos, ended up with a list of 14 comments, I made four easy cuts, and there’s my list.

I was thinking that maybe she’s deleting the crazier comments. But no…because there are some. I think that people just aren’t interested any more. Erin no longer has it. Whatever “it” was to begin with.

Anyway, as for the comment, he wants to snuggle up on the “control panel”. What does that even mean? “Control panel”? Did he use the wrong word or is this a reference to something said in the video? I don’t want to watch it to find out. Just another dumb comment from a horny retard.

8. “I’m not gonna lie, I really dig seeing you dress up as April O’ Neil every time you review any TMNT game, and I hope to see more reviews in 2024 as well! ^^” – sonicmario64

This was another comment from the same video. He likes the cosplay. But…I think that this was the only guy who even commented on it. So I think people are done with this shit.

Also, in fairness, Erin literally only appears in “costume” for like five seconds in this video. And you don’t see anything below her shoulders.

But that was apparently enough for SonicMario64, a man who…oh. I was thinking that he was born in 1964. No, it’s probably a reference to the Nintendo 64 and whatever. Or maybe it’s a reference to his IQ.

7. “Ur love of game is inspiration Erin (heart emoji) keep up the amazing insight n knowledge! Respect gamer girl!”; “Ur true beauty beyond ur good looks is a strong game knowledge. (party emoji)”; “K done simpin lol sorry Erin, back to ur hardcore gaming skillz (laughing emoji)” – AanishnaabeAllTheWay

These were three comments given in quick succession for the The Last 5 Nintendo 64 Games Ever Released video. He gets points for saying “gamer girl” non-sarcastically, bringing back late 1990s text speak, ending every comment with an emoji, stating (apparently without irony) that Erin is knowledgeable about video games, commenting on how hot she is, and overall desperation.

6. “”The Spearman’s ratio of mean error and mean time was 0.575 in males and 0.483 in females. Conclusion: The males outperformed in efficiency index when compared to females in hand-eye coordination with repeated practice.” – Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research. 2023 Jan, Vol-17(1): YC15-YC18″ – Warrior_Resisting_Colonialism

This was from the Playing TMNT on NES with Mike! video, In response to a comment somebody made about how Erin sucks at video games. He wanted to provide super nerdy empirical data to back up the inherent superiority that men have over women when it comes to playing video games.

But it totally misses the point. Even if the study’s conclusions are accurate, Erin sucks at video games not because she’s a woman but because she has absolutely no fucking experience or interest in video games. There are plenty of women who are competent at video games: women who are experienced and interested in video games. That’s not Erin. Erin is a total fucking fraud. A fraud who, I’m pleased to see, is giving up on this bullshit and in any event, the horntards seem to be giving up on her. There’s probably a correlation between the two things but I’m not sure what’s driving what.

5. “It seems you literally never age… I’ve been watching you for what appears to be forever. Gotta be a Vampire… Only explanation. Anyways, it’s always good to see new content from you.” – Welcome2whereverUR

Erin replies with, “Haha, I’m good about wearing sunscreen so maybe that helps :p Thanks for sticking with my channel for so long!”

Some other guy says, “She’s only 36 you geek that’s still quite young.” – obvioushieidude7668

Welcome2whereverUR, enraged, comes back with, “…. In your outrage you have missed a large chunk of the plot. That being, primarily, I’ve been watching her “for what seems to be forever”… and… She looks no different than when it began. This wrapped around to the vampire comment. It really has nothing to do with her age. I didn’t know her age — I’m not that big of a “geek” — I suppose. I think you should just drink some soy, use the wrench so you don’t hurt your hand and calm down. It’s not that involved. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar… Ya know?”

Let’s try to unpack this. So we’ve got a guy talking about how hot and youthful Erin looks. Nothing that unusual, but given the crop of comments this year, perhaps it is.

Erin, being the shallow and self-conscious woman that she is, says, “Hey, yeah. I am pretty hot, aren’t I? Right? I’m still hot. Right guys? I take good care of my skin and all.”

So some other guy comes in and says, “Dude, she’s 36. Hardly grandma material.”

Then the original poster comes back with a bizarre rant that doesn’t even make sense. This was from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quarter Arcade Review video, by the way.

I believe that the guy is a native English speak but…those are the comments of a madman. Scattered thinking. What’s the wrench reference about? “Use the wrench so you don’t hurt your hand.” Do nerds…use tools? And then…a phallic reference that…how does it apply to anything?

It’s a crazy person. These are her viewers. These are the people giving her money. Fortunately, it’s a steadily decreasing pool of people.

4. “i realy want 2 marry this woman. She so hot omg please be my wife (bunch of sweating emojis, bunch of heart emojis)” – Universalgodri

This was another one from that same video. Just another horny nerd.

3. “The best Father’s Day present has just arrived” – mrsoulslike570

This was from the The Last Game Boy Color Games video. You know how on Father’s Day, fathers tend to get gifts from their children? Not this guy.

Or maybe he did. I don’t know. His kids got him a card that spelled “Best Dad Ever” in macaroni. Maybe drew him a picture. Maybe did some kind of craft at school. Made a little effigy of him using stones and magic makers. And then they present it to him, eagerly awaiting his response.

MrSoulsLike570 takes one look at the gifts and then says I appreciate the effort, kids, but this is total trash. The best Father’s Day gift I got was Erin Plays’ video on the last Game Boy Color games.

His children look up at him, tears in their eyes, and say, Dad, we spent hours on these gifts. Why are you talking about some skank on Youtube and her formulaic video? She’s not even related to you. We’re your kids. Not her. Don’t you care?

Then he throws their gifts in the trash and binge watches Erin’s second Youtube channel for the rest of the day. You know, the one where it’s a collection of her Twitch streams. His wife enters and says, “Honey, can you at least join us for dinner? We have reservations at your favourite restaurant. The kids were looking forward to it.” MrSoulsLike570 snaps and says, “God damn it, how many times do I need to tell you not to interrupt me when I’m watching Erin Plays? Now I missed what her favourite shade of pink is.”

2. “I will watch anything you make <3” – Echo3_

This was from the 3 BAD Games from Sunsoft video.

It really goes to the heart of what I’ve been saying for years. Erin seems to be of the opinion that people are watching her videos because they’re about video games and they’d stop watching if they were about something else. These people do not give a fuck what the videos are about. They’re certainly not tuning in to see good gameplay, interesting insights, engaging chat, or anything like this.

They’re watching because they’re jerking off to this. There’s something about Erin that these horny retards find appealing. In increasingly fewer numbers, I must stress again.

Why doesn’t she just make videos on things that she’s actually interested in? Make your stupid fucking videos on Britney Spears, Weezer, whatever that third band that you like is, and your favourite hues. People will still fucking watch it. Retarded people, anyway. But that’s your audience.

1. “i wanna see you invite me back to your live twitch streams with a parade and epic apology and admit publicly how wrong you were about the covid masks and vaxxes and also send me a hand drawn picture that expresses how sorry you are with a lipstick lip stamp on the envelope lol is that asking too much?” – mentally_illest_radio

I don’t think that’s asking too much at all, Mentally Illest Radio. I think that you have a legitimate beef.

This was from the The Last 5 Nintendo 64 Games Ever Released but it doesn’t matter. It seems that this gentleman was banned from Erin’s Twitch for daring to challenge this complete cretin about covid. She was there on Twitter telling us to check on our elderly neighbours. She was telling us to get vaccinated. We’re all in this together. If you don’t get vaccinated, you’re an evil person and you should be taken out and shot.

Then one day…what? What happened to the lockdowns? What happened to all of the people who lost their jobs? What happened to all of the business that shut down? What happened to all of the lockdown-related suicides? “Oopsie. We made a mistake. Turns out, this world-wide lockdown that went on for years was all for nothing. Everybody go back to work.”

So…we eradicated covid? No. It’s still out there. Deadly as it ever was. You know, like the flu. But there’s no more panic. There’s no more completely insane global lockdowns. There’s no more hysteria over this fucking scam that was nothing more than a cash grab to get yet more money out of your hands and into the hands of the tiny elite, the 1% who control 40% of the wealth. They’re not happy with 40%. They want more. So put your fucking mask on and get injected with who the fuck even knows what that shit was.

Erin was out there being a fucking cheerleader for that bullshit. Draw that man a picture, seal the envelope with a kiss, and throw him his fucking parade. It’s the least you can do given the fucking destructive bullshit that you supported.

She never admitted that she was wrong. None of these people did. Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining was even worse. She was CONSTANTLY berating people for not getting vaccinated. Where’s the admission that you were wrong?

Okay, you got swept up in the hysteria. So? You were still wrong. Admit it. You should be MORE outraged than anyone who saw through the lies because you were dumb enough to believe it. You became a part of the problem. You were being used.

You look at US military veterans. You might see this in countries generally but I’m just focusing on the US. The most anti-military people are military veterans. Because they know that they were fucked over. They know that they were lied to. They know that they were used. And it was all just to make money for the guys at the top.

They joined the military because they were young and idealistic. They had ideas about liberating people and bringing freedom to the world and instead they just dropped bombs on the heads of poor brown people so that Haliburton can make another billion dollars this year. Risking their lives for that shit.

It’s similar with these vaccination cheerleaders. You were duped, okay. I get it. You had every news organisation in the country telling you this shit. The politicians were all in lockstep over this. It’s not at all unreasonable that you would believe this.

But now that you see that it was all a lie, why aren’t you outraged? What the fuck were you injected with, Pam? Even if it was benign, which I assume it wasn’t, what was the point of it? What was the point of staying home for however many years this was? And you were out there on fucking Twitter telling your MENTALLY CHALLENGED audience to do likewise. At the very least, don’t you feel like an idiot? Don’t you think that you’re owed an apology by the people who were telling you these lies and you owe an apology to the people who you were repeating these lies to?

You don’t hear a peep from these women about covid now. You also don’t hear anything about it in the news or from the govenment. Total non-issue. But everybody was whipped into a frenzy over this. Over a cold. If it was diarrhoea, I might understand the concern. But not a cold.

Doesn’t Erin feel at all bad that she spread misinformation about covid to LITERAL RETARDS? And she can’t even say, “Hey, I made a mistake. I fell for the propaganda. Sorry about that.”

And did Erin even bother to go shopping for her elderly neighbour like she told these retards to do? There’s no fucking way. She’s a fraud, she’s a swindler, and she’s a conwoman. And not even a good one. She’s making about six thousand bucks a year from Twitch, but this figure was from a few years ago when she was more popular. I’d be surprised if she’s making half that today.