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I’m In A Weird Place – PushingUpRoses – *WARNING* narcissism trigger
0:00 – “Welcome to a different type of a video.”
What are you talking about? Every time I go to this fucking channel, she has some bullshit video where she’s drawing disgusting shit and talking about her mental health her “meds” and how unattractive she is but oh please go to my OnlyFans.
By the way, this video is a “fundraiser”. For her own narcissism. That’s what she’s raising funds for. And unbelieveably, she got $788 for this vile, self-obsessed bullshit.
She’s drawing a disgusting picture of a person with a crooked neck and blood spurting out, by the way. And it’s REALLY amateur. She can’t even fucking draw. This is a professional artist. Does she still do that spin “art”? Let me check.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DysmorphicArt
There’s her self-obsessed Etsy page. She last sold some terrible spin “art” in December so that wasn’t that long ago. But nothing is available now.
And her Instagram is just revolting pictures of herself with the odd terrible and disgusting drawing.
0:15 – “Don’t worry, this isn’t a drama or a ‘T’ video.”
What? What’s a “T video”? Did I mishear her?
“I just really feel the need to express myself and reflect on some of the branching paths that my life has formed lately.”
You couldn’t do that without the scam fundraising? And I’m looking at the sidebar where this allegedly goes to a suicide prevention charity. Hopefully, Youtube deals with all of that directly, otherwise you know it’s just going into PushingUpRoses’ pocket and then she’s gorging herself on Twinkies with that money.
Do they even make Twinkies any more? I always hated them. Zingers were clearly superior.
It seems that Twinkied were briefly unavailable in 2012 when Hostess declared bankruptcy but they’re back now. I don’t get it. Who’s eating that shit? Zingers are still sold. I only liked the vanilla ones. Apparently, Hostess makes those too.
0:30 – “After many years, I found out that I have BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder.”
Well, great. But this shouldn’t be confused with her “BDD” or “Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” These acronyms are all getting complicated: BPD, BDD, IBS.
Oh, and the last time I talked about PushingUpRoses, she was talking endlessly about some boyfriend. I guarantee that guy’s no longer in the picture.
0:45 – “It does explain why I keep relapsing with addition issues.”
What addiction issues? Addicted to that deep dish pizza. For her own safety, she’s been banned from Pizzeria Uno.
“I feel like I don’t know who I am.”
A self-absorbed bitch. I just saved you thousands of dollars in therapy bills.
Oh, by the way, there as no “trigger warning” for any of this. That’s something that these self-absorbed types usually plaster all over their shit. She’s talking about suicide and these drawings are absolutely disgusting and suggestive of suicide but that’s alright. No concern for her audience, which I have to assume includes other self-obsessed “Look at me, aren’t I crazy” types because these sort of people tend to find each other.
2:00 – “I’m not ashamed of having mental issues.”
No shit. You revel in it. It’s your entire identity. If a therapist ever said, “Eh, you’re fine” it would destroy you.
3:30 – “Addiction does run in my family and it goes between drugs, alcohol, gambling, and food.”
I’m guessing mostly food.
“My sister struggles with a gambling addiction.”
Oh, I’m sure she appreciates you sharing that. Her sister is down at the casino slumped over a slot machine when suddenly her phone blows up with messages from friends and family. “Did you see your sister’s latest self-obsessed video? Do you have a gambling addiction? Do you need help?” Then her sister throws her bucket of tokens down in disgust and says, “God damn it. I just came here to get away from that lunatic for a few hours.”
Actually, do they still use tokens in casinos? I don’t think so. I think it’s all done by cards nowadays. I worked in casinos back in the day and there would be Chinese people who would put “slugs” in the machines. Fake tokens. Those wacky Chinese. Good food, though.
Then PushingUpRoses goes on and on about how her sister would borrow money and lie about its purpose and then go to the casino with the money. What the fuck? Keep this shit to yourself.
4:15 – She starts talking about Amy Winehouse and empathizing with her alleged mental illness.
Amy Winehouse will always hold a special place in my heart as the only celebrity death I ever relished. She was in the news CONSTANTLY and she was annoying as fucking shit. You couldn’t get away from it. And then when she died, I was elated. “I never have to see or hear anything about this woman ever again.” It was a dream come true.
I’m sympathetic and all. She may have had problems and she’s not responsible for the media’s bizarre obsession over her but I can’t deny that I was delighted when she died. One of the best days of my life.
5:30 – Now she’s talking about her “career” by which she means her “art”, her “writing”, and editing her Youtube videos. She wonders if she’ll do that five years from now.
Isn’t she saving any money? How much money is she getting from her channel. Let’s check SocialBlade.
According to this, she’s making between $1,000 and $18,000 a year. I’ve read that the number in the middle is about right so she’s making $9,000 a year. That’s a lot less than I thought.
Well, just crank out some more spin “art”. I can’t find prices but I remember being at least a few hundred bucks each.
It seems that she’s been lowering the prices. Maybe she’s saturated the spin “art” market.
I don’t know what, if any, writing she’s doing and if she’s getting paid anything for it.
What about her OnlyFans then? Is that still an ongoing enterprise?
Eugh. Lamentably, yes. $8.50/month but her description SCREAMS, “Do not pay for this.” So I can’t imagine that there are many subscribers.
5:30 – Anyway, her new career path is…ceramics. She think that she’s going to make a fortune churning out little pots. She’s taking classes. It’s complete insanity. Have you considered filling out a job application at Dominick’s? They probably give you a staff discount on all food purchased there.
I just realised that this ceramics thing is similar to her spin “art”. Her spin “art” involves spinning a canvas on a wheel and dripping paint on the canvas. Ceramics also involves spinning the wheel. Maybe she just likes spinning things. What can she do with that? Whirling dervish? I doubt there’s much money in that. And she doesn’t have the stamina. Maybe she can just sit in an office chair and spin around, although who would pay for that “performance” is another question.
6:45 – Oh my god, look at these things. I don’t know art but I know crap. This is crap. Absolute rock bottom, amateur bullshit. These are two crudely made, crudely painted pieces of ceramic. And she wants people to PAY for this and she’s calling it “art”. These are student pieces. From a lousy student with no potential to improve. Just give this shit to your sister as a half-hearted apology for blasting her in this video. I’m not going to fucking pay for this. I could literally make better pieces than this. Not that I would. I have no fucking use for little ceramic cups.
7:30 – She’s talking about her OnlyFans. So this is all part of her “career” discussion.
She claims it was to “combat my body dysmorphic disorder” and “That has given me more strength than anything I’ve ever done.”
Is she looking at the same pictures that I saw? Some forum posted her pictures. You don’t want to see them. Let’s leave it at that.
“Sometimes I post extremely unflattering photos.”
Those must have been the ones that I saw. All of them. Can you keep the unflattering ones and just post the gems?
She claims to be the only person using OnlyFans for “unsexy purposes.”
Well, I can’t fault her for this one. She’s dead on. There wasn’t anything remotely sexy about these photos. But how does she plan to make money from this?
She claims that this is all part of her therapy. I’d like to have a word with this therapist to confirm if this indeed something that they suggested she do. Because I don’t think that any responsible therapist would say, “In order to treat your BDD, you’re going to have to post revolting pictures on OnlyFans.”
8:45 – Podcasting is another revenue stream that she’s exploring. Eugh. Come on. Nobody is going to listen to this. It’s with her “best friend” Matt and the podcast is called Save Your Game. Let’s look this up. I’m not expecting millions of subscribers.
They have 54 episodes and 712 subscribers. They’ve been doing this for a year. Their most recent video has 96 views. This is not making a penny.
The podcast, in case it needs to be said, is unlistenable. It’s audio only (thank god for small favours) but just…oh my god. The most recent episode starts with this guy (who is CLEARLY gay) in MID-SENTENCE. And the topics are complete shit.
9:00 – “It’s honestly been doing well.”
Are you serious?
“I can’t believe that there are thousands of people who want to listen to me talk about King’s Quest V.”
Maybe that’s a lost episode but the King’s Quest IV video has 260 views on Youtube. Maybe she’s doing gangbusters on Spotify or whatever but, inexplicably, it’s not having an impact on the Youtube channel.
9:15 – “We don’t make any money off of it.”
Indeed.
10:30 – Then she talks about some shitty ass game about feelings and depression…or something. Yeah, that’s what I want to play. Give me the depression simulator game.
11:00 – She’s talking about how society expects you to achieve certain things by certain ages and that you’re never too old to change careers.
But the “career” she’s talking about is this god awful ceramics. If she showed any promise whatsoever in this, I’d say go for it. But look at those fucking little cups. It reminds me of the shit I’d make in Cub Scouts.
This is somebody with no artistic talent. Her drawings are bad, her spin “art” is bad, and her ceramics are bad. Don’t spend any more time or money on this. Do it as a hobby, fine, but who’s going to pay for this complete shit? There are jobs out there. Find one. Enough of this delusional bullshit.
“If I start sculpting with clay now, maybe in 50 years, I will be a clay protegee.”
Yeah. Maybe. But what are you going to do in the meantime? How are you going to support yourself? And let’s be serious, with all of your weight and mental health issues, do you plan on living another 50 years? That’s extremely ambitious. Even her, “What am I going to do five years from now” question struck me as ambitious.
11:30 – She talks about her BlueSky account and that she’s done with Twitter. She’s sticking it to Elon Musk just like Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.
Apparently, she went to Mexico City recently. She also posted some revolting Frieda Kahlo paintings, perhaps from her trip. Where the fuck is she getting the money for these trips?
I can see the appeal of Frieda Kahlo. That mono-browed woman was also unattractive. But she at least had talent. PushingUpRoses is unattractive and has no talent.
Apparently, people are already bored of this AWFUL ceramics “content”. Why would I want to watch videos of a woman making shitty mugs? There’s no market in this.
She also posts pictures of her lunch.
So that’s the video. No mention of her boyfriend in the video or anywhere on Bluesky so that guy is long gone. She couldn’t fucking shut up about him. She just goes from one bad idea to the next, puts all of her effort into it, it ends up disasterous, and then she moves on to something else.
She’s going to get this pottery wheel and kiln, crank out some shitty ashtrays, and then move on to polka music. She’ll get an accordian, take some classes, realize that she’s shit at this, and then try something else.
Just put the effort into getting a job. I don’t get it. Are jobs that bad? If you start working at Burger King today, just think of how good you’ll be at grilling hamburgers 50 years from now. And they’ll PAY you for that experience. What’s the problem?
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NEWTrition Review : Gatorade Mashups – Newt Wallen
Finally, the Ideas Man stumbled onto an interesting topic.
The product is two flavours of Gatorade mixed together. Newt talks about how they should have put more thought into this and determine which ratios of which flavours would work best and which flavours complement each other and whatnot as opposed to what this product seems to be: two equal parts of two random flavours mixed together.
That’s fine and good. He’s right, I guess.
But I’m reminded of the greatest product I’ve ever seen: Doritos Collisions. They took two flavours of Doritos, flavours that never existed before, and put them in a bag. And it was sheer genius. I was stocking up on that shit, knowing that it’s a limited edition. Some of the combinations were spectacular but they were all worth getting. There wasn’t a bad one in the bunch.
Then it just disappeared. Why? You have a great product, the best food product of all time, why get rid of it? You can base your entire company around these Collisions.
And why did nobody pick up on the idea? It’s not like you can copyright the mixing of two flavours of tortilla chip in a single bag. Maybe somebody has. Let me look this up.
Well, I’m seeing hints that they returned last year, at least in Canada, with a pickle and cool ranch version. That doesn’t sound good. And cool ranch? That’s just a normal, already available flavour. And I don’t want pickle-flavoured Doritos. So that sounds terrible.
There’s Herr’s Flavor Mix. This looks promising. Red hot and honey BBQ, BBQ and salt & vinegar, and cheddar and sour cream. Is this an American company? Yeah, but this looks crazy expensive. I’m not paying seventy bucks for 24 tiny bags of custom chips, I’ll tell you that. That’s for the glutton who has everything.
Storm Chips are a Canadian thing that have four different flavours in each bag but they’re fucking thirty six dollars. Presumably Canadian dollars. Oh, you get eight bags for that price. How much is 284 grams? That sounds like a normal sized bag. Actually, twice the size of a normal bag. That might be reasonable, actually. Covered Bridge is the brand. Shipping might be a problem. And apparently, their manufacturing plant burned down last year and they’re outsourcing production now.
So Gatorade…I think that I might have had it once. Like the powdered mix. Maybe I had it in a bottle once too. I was interested in Gatorade, the green one was the only variety I remember being available for a long time, but I never drank any.
I have much more experience with Snapple. Mixed flavours…I can’t think of any that would be at all appealing. Maybe it doesn’t work with juices. I don’t know how much actual fruit juice is in a Snapple, though.
Soda could work, of course. Or as Newt is always at pains of saying, as he does in this video as well, “Or ‘pop’ depending on where you’re from.” He’s so cultured. He wants to be inclusive. I call it a “carbonated beverage.”
You could do this at soda fountains at restaurants but you run the risk of looking like a fool.
Oh, slushee-type machines would work for this. It’s probably more socially-acceptable to do this there as well, assuming it’s self-serve.
But whatever, Coke and…fucking…orange Fanta. Or what’s an American orange soda…Crush? Sunkist? God, I’ve forgotten.
Yeah, those are two still-existing carbonated beverages. Crush is owned by the people who make Dr Pepper. I always avoided Dr Pepper, just because the name is so fucking terrible. Who wants a pepper-flavoured soda? But then when I finally had one as an adult, it was vastly superior to Coke or Pepsi. The name is just off-putting. They don’t sell Dr Pepper in the UK that I’ve ever seen.
But yeah, I think using a cola-flavoured beverage as the base is the obvious choice and then you work from there. I don’t drink soda, though, so it’s not a particular interest of mine.
Horseface had a tweet that I wanted to talk about but I ended up deleting the post before uploading it because it didn’t meet my lofty standards. Let’s check out her Twitter.
Oh, she’s posting about WrestleMania. Not that she’s going, but she’s posting pictures of the WrestleMania that she went to last year where she made a complete horse’s ass of herself. I talk about that here:
She’s all about that grappling. What happened to her idea of going to a “WWE-like” (or something) wrestling school? What a great idea for a 40 year old woman to go to a wrestling school.
Who would win in a shoot: PVC Bondage Guy or Horseface? God, is it even a question? Even before PVC Bondage Guy doubled in size, she was fucking nuts. She’d go apeshit on Horseface. Pulling hair, scratching, eye gouging, who the fuck knows. I don’t think it would be much of a technical contest but I’m going with PVC Bondage Guy, no question. And now it’s a fucking big fat crazy chick going after you. That’s terrifying no matter who you are.
Oh, here’s the tweet that I wanted. Horseface is doing some fad diet. She doesn’t describe what it is because she just lives in her own narcissistic world. But it’s a fad TikTok diet called 75 Hard or Hard 75 or something where you choose a diet (any diet) and try to stick with it for 75 days. You also have to exercise for a certain length of time every day and drink a gallon of water every day and read ten pages of a book every day. It’s just some stupid shit that appeals to really vapid women like Horseface who want to think that they’re making some kind of improvement in their miserable lives.
So Horseface talks about licking bowls of food and counting calories. I don’t…get it. She has a bowl of, let’s say, corn chowder from a gas station, and it’s a certain number of calories, and she wants to make sure to consume every single bit so that she gets the maximum number of calories? Why? Why start eating like an animal because you want to maximise your intake of calories? Aren’t you on a diet? Isn’t the goal to eat FEWER calories? Who cares if you leave food on the plate and still put the full amount in your little calorie diary?
Am I not reading this right? Or is she starving herself and wants to get every bit of food so eats like an animal. Horseface, listen…nobody gives a shit what you look like. Just wear an entire top. You don’t have to starve yourself for the horntards or whoever your most recent loser boyfriend is. Put a top on that covers your midriff for once, like a normal person, and go about your day. Concentrate on things that matter.
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Pam aka CannotBeTamed’s Boyfriend
She does a Q&A. It’s BORING AS FUCK, as you might imagine. EVERY fucking question is about video games. WHO CARES? What’s wrong with these people? Why do they want Pam’s opinion on video games? What does it matter? She doesn’t make games. What fucking difference does it make what genres she’s considers timeless?
But she refers to her “partner” several times during the video. I think that she even plugs his…Goosebumps podcast? Or something.
She also talks about how the Cinemassacre cameo that she did where she shook her tits for two seconds caused a massive increase in her subscriber count and she was surprised by that. Well, it really makes it clear what your audience is looking for.
At 28:15, Pam’s “partner” appears from behind the couch and she awkwardly calls him a creep a couple of times.
He’s probably…I don’t know…late 40s. Early 50s. Pam is about 45 herself. But he has a boy’s haircut where his bangs are covering his eyes and the old JOHN RIGGS gray beard patch under his mouth. Why not just dye it? Or shave it? How often do you have to dye beard hair? Let me look this up.
Once a month. That’s reasonable. You can’t do that?
People on some beards subreddit seem to be opposed to dying, though. I don’t know. It doesn’t look good to me, though. But whatever, you do you.
Pam gives this guy a kiss. How sweet.
Then he reads a question. He sounds HELLA gay. Come on. Is this a joke? There is no doubt in my mind that this dude is fucking gay. That’s what I suspected even before I heard him speak. I saw his fucking bullshit tweets where he talks about cooking for Pam and it was…I mean…I don’t want to suggest that cooking makes you gay but there was something about these tweets that gave off MASSIVE gay vibes.
https://bsky.app/profile/dylancharles.bsky.social
There’s his BlueSky. He’s not on Twitter any more, same as Pam. They took a stand against Elon Musk. He links to his Goosebumps podcast. You want to hear what a 50 year old guy has to say about children’s books from the 1990s? No, me neither.
Pam is strapping a dildo on and fucking this dude. That’s what’s happening here. That’s the kind of guy she goes for. Gay men.
But why is he interested in her? She’s a bitch and masculine in some ways but I wouldn’t describe her as “butch”. Is this some sort of beard situation? Is he trying to appease his parents? Come on. You’re 50. Are his parents even alive any more? You can be yourself.
Pam also talks about her lesbian “friend” Michelle aka Pelee. So Pam is clearly gay. We know that. Why is she with this guy? This whole thing is bizarre.
But Pam had that Mexican boyfriend for so long. That really complicates things for me. I refuse to believe that the Mexican boyfriend was gay. But maybe he was, I don’t know. We don’t know anything about him. I imagined him as a macho kind of guy who didn’t put up with Pam’s bullshit and Pam liked that. But now that we see this Dylan guy…is this the sort of guy that she’s always gone for? Homosexuals? It would suggest that maybe the Mexican guy was gay as well.
Maybe this Mexican guy was only with Pam for some kind of visa situation but how would that work? They weren’t married. So presumably he was in Canada legally.
Well, whatever. Good luck to Pam and her homosexual boyfriend and her lesbian “friend” Pele.
Pam also did “advance voting” and wants you to do the same.
How about you mind your own fucking business, Pam? Have you considered that?
Why are some people so invested in the idea that everybody should vote? Well, I thought about it for two seconds and then I realised what the answer is. These are “liberals” who want “their” candidate to win and they know that the more people who vote, the more likely it is that the “liberal” candidate will win.
That’s all this is. Pam doesn’t give a fuck about the sanctity of democracy, she just wants “her” candidate to win.
Pam, none of these politicians give the slightest of fucks about you. When are you going to wake up? These politicians are completely beholden to the elite. Who are the candidates in the local Ontario election? I think that she lives in Ontario.
Oh, no. These are national elections. That’s right. What’s his name who went to that elite school and did some play in blackface is stepping down or something.
Let’s see. Do I think that Mark Carney, the former governor of the Bank of England has the interests of working class lesbians like Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining or do I think that businessman and longtime organizer of right-wing parties Pierre Poilievre is the man who’s going to redistribute the wealth? How about neither of them, Pam? Have you considered that possibility? This is a fucking sham. Do you want to vote for one rich white guy or the other rich white guy?
Dumb fucking bitch. Take your vote and shove it up your gay boyfriend’s ass.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei watch the Nintendo Switch 2 Direct – Erin Plays
0:00 – “Long time no see. If you don’t know, I’ve had surgery on my gums.”
I don’t get it. I really don’t. Why is Zombie Gums so obsessed with telling people about her disgusting surgery? This is how she starts the stream. She’s been bragging about this FOR WEEKS on Twitter.
There is not a single dental procedure that I EVER want to hear about. Root canals, crowns, fillings, cleanings, I don’t give a shit. I don’t want to hear it. It’s gross. It’s between you and your dentist. Keep it there.
But Erin is BOASTING about this. About zombie gums. It’s the craziest fucking thing in the universe. Who does this? Who boasts about dental procedures? And this is a particularly disgusting procedure even by the disgusting standards of dental procedures.
I know that she didn’t use cadaver tissue but what happened is that the dentist cut tissue from the roof of her mouth and then grafted it onto her gums. It’s completely vile. Who wants to hear this?
If this is a procedure that you need, which I’m not actually sure anybody does need, I think it’s a bizarre cosmetic surgery, but whatever. Let’s say you need it. Fine. Get the zombie gums. But would you go around bragging about it? This is something that you don’t tell anybody about. People don’t need to know this. People don’t want to know this. And you shouldn’t want people to know about your fucking zombie gums.
People are going to be looking at your gums. Is that what you want? I can’t get the idea that Erin has zombie gums out of my head. I can never look at her the same way. She’s going to be Zombie Gums forever for me. And there was no need for any of this. All she had to do was not fucking talk about it. I never would have known.
And then Mike immediately makes a face like he’s disgusted by this. Because he is. Anybody would be. It’s vile. Why is he not stopping her? Why did he not tell her to retract those Twitter posts?
Erin then proceeds to tell you, in detail, how the procedure was performed. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. And Mike makes an exaggerated expression like Kevin from Home Alone where he puts his hands on his cheeks and screams. It’s madness. Mike, fucking stop her. Do something. You know that this is insanity. Nobody on earth wants to hear about her fucking zombie gums. YOU don’t want to hear about it.
Mike has to fucking kiss this woman now who has ZOMBIE GUMS. How? How could he do it? But Erin, completely clueless, continues her boastful description of this completely disgusting procedure. Mike should be physically removing her from his home right now. “I’m sorry. The zombie gums are too much. Get the fuck out of here. I’ll have your shit shipped back to your parents’ home. Do not come back.”
0:45 – Erin is now, thankfully, moving on to the Nintendo Direct…whatever this is. She says, “I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.”
You don’t say. When you’re not remotely interested in something, you find that you tend not to get around to it.
1:30 – Now she’s doing her Romper Room Magic Mirror thing where reads the names of everyone in the chat. Apparently, somebody asked how she’s doing because she says that she’s feeling better. Imagine that. One of the horntards must have said, “So how are the zombie gums doing, Erin?”
Terrible sound volume on this thing. I can’t hear what Zombie Gums is saying over the loud video that they’re watching. I’m missing all of her gems.
4:30 – Mike says “I like playing Steam” in reference to Erin’s bizarre suggestion that she and Mike aren’t in the “handheld demographic.”
Mike has made these sorts of odd comments about Steam in the past. He seems to use the word “Steam” instead of “PC games.” It’s just weird. Even if you get all of your PC games from Steam and that’s all that you’ve ever known, which I can’t imagine is the case for Mike, even knowing that he seems to have little experience with PC games before…I don’t know…2005 or so, he has to know that these are PC games. That’s the term. Not “Steam games”. Steam is just the platform through which to buy the games.
15:30 – They’re talking about how you can chat to other players on this Nintendo Switch 2. A common feature. Mike even states as much, talking about how you can use headphones to chat to people. He’s presumably talking about “Steam games.”
But then he makes an absolutely insane comment. Erin says that this chat feature is mostly for friends, as opposed to strangers, which I don’t think is true but whatever. Mike then says, “Then why not just pick up a phone and call them?”
BECAUSE YOU’RE PLAYING A GAME, ASSHOLE. DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GET IT? You’re going to pick up a phone to talk to people while playing a game? How is that going to work? You have three hands?
“Let’s say you were somewhere else and I’m here, I’ll just have you on the phone and I won’t pay.”
Mike is under the mistaken impression that you have to pay for the chat feature. Let’s just assume that’s true, which it isn’t. Sure, you can use some free app to talk to somebody. That’s possible. But how are you holding the fucking phone, you moron?
Erin tries to explain in some bizarre fashion but she has NO IDEA how any of this works so it’s like a dog trying to explain how this works.
18:45 – Mike says that he bought Super Mario World in 1991 and doesn’t want to pay a monthly bill for it. Well, good news, Mike…THAT’S NOT WHAT’S HAPPENING. YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
Mike is REALLY complaining about the costs of this shit. Bear in mind that this is somebody who I suspect has paid at least TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS for Erin’s ZOMBIE GUMS. But now twenty a bucks a month for some subscription is too much.
21:00 – “All I’m thinking about is how my Genesis Everdrive has Master System games on. I’ll just play Master System.”
IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE. He’s watching this video about Switch 2 games and talking about how he’d rather play Master System games. Then go play them, asshole. Nobody gives a shit. What the fuck does it have to do with what you’re watching?
I’m turning this off. This is boring as fuck. Erin knows NOTHING about ANYTHING and Mike seems even more clueless. I didn’t even think that that was possible.
We haven’t got an update on Erin’s zombie gums. I hope it’s not because of my previous article about them. I’m dying to know. She promised to give an update when her gums heal, which was scheduled for a week from her previous tweet. That was over a week ago. I want close up pictures of her zombie gums. Show them off, Erin. Mike paid ten grand for those zombie gums. We want to see the results. Show those sexy zombie gums.
Oh yeah. I remember when this woman died. I wonder if Newt tweeted about it.
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Newt’s Movie Theatre’s Condescending Letter to Patrons
The Grand Theater
HAS A ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY
When it comes to outbursts and disruptions during the MINECRAFT MOVIE
I DON’T CARE WHAT MEMES YOU ARE TRYING TO COPY
PEOPLE COME TO OUR THEATER TO ENJOY THE FILM IN A FAMILY ENVIRONMENT
GO TO THE BIG CORPORATE MULTIPLEX IF YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO SCREAM “CHICKEN JOCKEY” OR THROW POPCORN
MOVIE THEATERS ARE HAVING A VERY HARD TIME OF LATE. AND RECENT DISRESPECTFUL, SELFISH BEHAVIOR IS RUINING THE MOVIE FOR THOSE WHO CAN STILL CONDUCT THEMSELVES LIKE CIVILIZED HUMANS FOR 2 HOURS WHILE IN PUBLIC IN 2025.
We are very busy. And doing our best to serve the customer. PLEASE do not make Our jobs harder. And destroy the movie going experience for others around you.
CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING
STEVE
It’s signed “Steve” but I think that’s a reference to a character in the movie. I think that Newt wrote this, based on the odd grammar and the fact that he seems so proud of this on Twitter.
Somebody in the comments actually calls him out.
Benjamin Long: Nobody’s going to respect a person throwing a temper tantrum
Newt: Explain. It’s a tantrum to expect civility now ?
Benjamin: If you’re hostile to your customers you won’t have any customers. how are you going to make money when you banned everyone
Newt: Who said anything about banning anyone. I am putting it out there so people know our policy and to allow families that we care about giving them a movie experience worth their time and money.
Benjamin: How do you enforce your rules without using Force
Newt: Setting a standard is key. I have been doing this 25 years. Messes. Fights. Talking is nothing new. But this coordinated behavior is new and diligence is needed as not to loose normal customers cause some TikTok shit has ir folks can’t act like adults
Benjamin: You’ll get trampled without enforcement
I don’t really know what Benjamin is talking about, to be honest, but the letter is ridiculous and insulting. It treats everybody reading it like they’re the ones doing this shit. And nobody who does plan on doing that shit is going to be dissuaded from the activity by reading it. If anything, they’re going to be emboldened to do it. “Look at these fucking assholes whining about this petty shit. Fuck them.”
I don’t really know what these “memes” are. People yell something during the movie and throw popcorn, I guess. Yeah, it’s stupid and no normal person would want to see a movie in that kind of environment. But this letter solves nothing. It’s just Newt complaining about having to clean up and that the cinema isn’t doing well financially. Why tell the customers this? Especially when the lionshare of the customers DON’T DO THIS SHIT.
“The Grand Theater operates a zero tolerance policy on disruptive behavior. Please do not engage in disruptive behavior during screenings of Minecraft: The Movie or any other film. Thank you.”
Done. Problem solved. If you see anybody not following the rules, you take them out. You don’t need to add all of your emotional bullshit in the letter and talk down to the reader.
So I looked this place up. I’m on Google Maps. Really small cinema. It’s in a residential area. There are houses across the street. It’s interesting. This is really small town shit. Their downtown area are these three buildings.
Somebody has a rainbow sign in their front yard that says “Love is a human right” and the cafe across the street has a rainbow sign in their window. What is this? Little San Francisco.
A lot of American flags and city-posted banners venerating local “heroes” who “served” in the military. That’s much more what I expect from small town America. Jingoism, not hardcore buttsex.
Anyway, it looks like a decent place to live. Newt says that he lives near to the cinema. Some of these houses appear to have been converted into apartments. It doesn’t look like the crime-infested shithole that Newt seems to suggest.
A lot of pickup trucks on the street. These are just hardworking folk. Oh, and there’s some kind of ministry in this three building complex. There’s some holy-rolling message on a sign. That’s another typical small time America thing.
Wow. Newspaper dispensers outside of one of these stores. I didn’t even know those still existed. I haven’t seen those since I was a kid. Giving out the local paper, I guess. Probably for free.
Three thousand people in this town. This is definitely rural Pennsylvania. 96.78% white. And fucking Newt constantly talks about how he’s so down with the homies and hates white folk.
The cinema has surprisingly high reviews, including a recent five star review by the Ideas Man himself. Not that he’s biased or anything. But I did see one illuminating review.
I would give this theater only one star, but I’ve had a lot of good memories here from when I was younger. As a customer, I was treated very well here. As an employee, however, not so much. Most times, I would work nearly eight hour shifts, which I was okay with, but I was never given any scheduled lunch breaks. Usually we would have to wait until all the customers were seated and all the candy, popcorn buckets, and cups were restocked until we were allowed to go to one of the neighboring businesses and get something to eat. In addition, there is no break room in the theater, so I would have to either eat standing up behind the concession stand or sit on the stairs. This was only really a problem when we would show the really popular movies. When Frozen 2 was showing, there would be roughly 200 people coming to each show. Oftentimes we would run out of a certain kind of candy or soda while people were still coming in, and so it would take longer for us to clean and restock. But we still weren’t allowed to eat until everything was done. One time, I thought it would be okay to have my lunch break before we were done, and the manager had the nerve to ask me if I had some sort of digestive medical condition, implying that she would only let me eat if I did. They also had ridiculous dress code requirements. No employees are allowed to have their hair dyed an unnatural color, and we couldn’t even have our nails painted unless it was a clear or nude shade. This was my first job, so I thought all this was normal. I’m a little sad to say this, but I would be fine if I never stepped foot in there again.
Just a former employee giving a surprisingly balanced review of what it was like to work there. She gave the place two stars and says that she was always treated well as a customer, so this wasn’t a hit piece. But she complains about the dress code and the lack of a scheduled lunch break.
I talked about this exact issue before because PVC Bondage Guy mentioned the lack of a lunch hour while working with Newt and I thought that it was completely outrageous. I’m pretty sure that even in shitty corporate-controlled America, there’s a requirement for workers to have, whatever it is, a thirty minute lunch break and there may be other requirements like having a place to take the lunch break and whatnot.
Apparently, this place had no facility for people to take their breaks. So they had to eat on the stairs, at the counter, or across the street at that faggy cafe. And these are people who making minimum wage so I don’t think that the cafe is really an option.
In any event, a totally fair and reasonable review. By the way, it seems that Newt wasn’t the manager because she says “she” when referring to the manager. This review is from five years ago.
But then the owner of the place responds TWO YEARS LATER with this bullshit:
“WOW! Explain why you are no longer here if you are going to trash us.”
What an asshole. She offered perfectly civil, constructive criticism of what it’s like to work there, and this piece of shit didn’t dispute any of it and described her post as “trashing” them. Fuck you, asshole. This is why there’s such a high turnover of staff at your place. Treat the people with fucking dignity and then maybe people will want to work there.
Newt sure as fuck doesn’t treat the staff with dignity. He’s given MULTIPLE stories where he treats the staff like shit, there was that appalling video where Newt and some scumbag woman and her fiance make repeated racist comments against a black man working as a janitor and this guy’s grandson hanging out in the cinema, and just recently he described two people quitting as “just bodies filling a role” or something.
It’s not bad enough that you get paid like shit at these jobs, you also have to get treated like shit. And Newt doesn’t see any problem with this. Neither does the owner, it seems.
I’m sure that it’s unpleasant for Newt as well having to work for that asshole. And he’s talked about asshole owners of these cinemas in the past and he’s quit jobs over it. But he doesn’t seem to treat his own staff any differently. He lacks any empathy at all. He’s a completely shit manager.
I’m giving Newt zero stars for his managerial behavior. Are you going to try to get this review deleted too? Good luck with that.
By the way, I think it’s well-known where Newt works. And he posted this himself. But in case there are any lunatics out there, which there may be, please refrain from harassing the Ideas Man. I have a zero tolerance policy on anybody who calls Newt’s place of business or the mayor or any of this other bullshit that Newt claims happens, which I’m sure it does, but then he blames me. Like I’m calling the fucking mayor. So seriously, that’s crazy person shit. Don’t do this. The guy is a plagiarist. Who cares that he ruined your homosexual webshow? It was ruined far before Newt started plagiarising 9/11 reviews.
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Self-INflicted Stream – Newt Wallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkVmflULqok
He has a disgusting thumbnail of his swollen eye so I’m not embedding the video.
Pathetic live stream where Newt repeatedly begs forgiveness from…I think Fallon. It’s over some shit that he said in the previous live stream that I talked about here:
He deleted the video and I don’t know what he said. I was in and out of consciousness when I watched the video. It was the same thing I did for this most recent livestream. It was like 2:00 am and I was trying to sleep so I thought that the dulcet tones of Newt’s whining would do the trick.
Apparently, Newt said some shit in the video that Fallon took exception to. So now Fallon isn’t talking to Newt. Newt begs forgiveness and says that he’s going to his psychiatrist again to try to figure out why he keeps behaving this way.
Newt, it’s because you’re an asshole. I just saved you some money. Just give Fallon a $50 tip the next time you pay her for sex and everything will be smoothed over. It’s not a big deal.
He doesn’t even say who it is who got upset but from what I’ve gathered, it’s Fallon. Fallon, of course, is the star of the still-not-released Sucks 2 Suck. What must those Patreon backers be thinking?
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sucks2suck-completion-fund#
Oh, it was Indie Go Go. Well, there were only 37 backers. But still, $3,113 isn’t nothing. It allegedly finished shooting two years ago. I wonder if anyone even got their “perks”. I want that signed picture of that big, fat chick.
Newt also takes exception to the idea that Wawa is a gas station. He obviously reads the blog religiously. He says that he’s not going to sue Wawa or DoorDash over this because he’s not a litigious person and “accidents happen”. Why not? This seems like a valid claim. He already has the fucking lawyer. Yes, accidents happen but that’s what these companies have insurance for. It’s time to cash in. Newt could be making “tits and gore” films for the rest of his life with any settlement that he gets.
It seems like a pretty big deal to me to order food and have your throat and face swell up as a result. Why would he let this go? There are so many things that Newt should let go of but this isn’t one of them. This is a fucking lottery ticket. He has all of the pictures and receipts. Wawa seems to have acknowledged that this happened. He’s just going to accept a five dollar refund of his chowder as full and final settlement? Not even a $20 goodwill gift certificate?
Newt, speak to a fucking lawyer about this. You could have died. Talk about your emotional distress. “I’ll never feel safe ordering from Wawa again. It was my favourite gas station cuisine and now my life is changed forever.” It’s complete madness. This is free money that you’re passing up.
Anyway, there was also an interesting story about some people from Screenwave coming to a recent screening of Minecraft at Newt’s cinema, they were all wearing Screenwave shirts, they took a picture of Newt making popcorn, and then they made a mess in the cinema by knocking the popcorn down.
The idea that a gang of uniformed corporate goons would hassle a small-town cinema is kind of quaint. “Hey, this is a Screenwave town. This spilled popcorn is just the beginning.”
Newt says that it wasn’t anybody who we know. Lesser-known Screenwave employees. Hopefully, that chubby Asian woman wasn’t involved in this.
So somebody asks why Newt doesn’t just ban them from the cinema, which is what I was thinking as well. Newt says that he doesn’t want to bother. He doesn’t want to lose the custom. Good for him, I guess. I’m sure that he enjoys the opportunity to see them again. They all seem to enjoy the rivalry.
Fucking Team Screenwave. I could not imagine working in a place that could instill that kind of company loyalty. You’re all going to put Screenwave shirts on and cause petty mayhem? For what? The guy was a plagiarist and he’s a giant asshole but he’s not working there any more. He hasn’t worked there for YEARS. Move on. You’ve got other stuff going on.
And why do they care about any damage that Newt did to Screenwave’s reputation? It’s a job. And presumably not a good-paying job. These people are getting matching Screenwave tattoos next.
Newt talks about his shitty movie ideas, including one about a “bimbo ray gun” that turns empowered women into “bimbos” and it’s really deep and satirical according to the Ideas Man. Uh huh. Sounds likes a real think piece.
There’s also news about Florida Man Saves Christmas. It’s no longer going to be called Florida Man. He doesn’t give the new name but it’s not Florida Man. And indeed, Florida Man is apparently only part of the comic now. It’s some sort of ensemble cast now.
What the fuck? He’s doing this on the advice of his “distributor” or something, presumably on anti-plagiarism advice. There already is a Florida Man comic, as Newt is well aware of.
YEARS ago, I suggested that he call the character Rural Pennsylvania Man. Is that what he’s going to use? Newt, you can use it, not that you need my permission. You freely steal ideas to your heart’s content.
But Newt says that the comics are already done. Six of them, anyway. They’re going to have to re-do the covers, I assume, to change the name. And is there still going to be a character called Florida Man or will he be called something different? Because if the name is changed, they’re going to have to change every reference in every comic.
And how is it suddenly an ensemble comic? They have six comics where presumably Florida Man was the central character. How are they going to change that now?
Well, Newt promises that the comic will be released soon, something he’s been saying for years, but this time he means it. So I guess all of our questions will be answered.
He also showed a bunch of scripts that he wrote recently, including a Florida Man (or whatever it’s called now) script. And they’re all printed out. He’s showing how thick they are, “Oh, this one is 60 pages” and whatever.
Newt…why are you printing this trash out? Just to show us what a stack of papers looks like? I know that people print stuff out because it’s easier to proofread if you’re reading from a paper as opposed to a screen but NO WAY is Newt proofreading ANYTHING that he does. So this is just for us. He wants to show us what 60 pages looks like. We know, Newt. It’s like three quarters of an inch. Who cares? It’s the CONTENT that matters and the content is pure dogshit.
Somebody asks about Shark Vampire and Vanpire and whatever and…Newt basically admits that it’s not happening. So we’ll never get that “tits and gore” masterpiece about a vampire with a shark’s head. Or the entirely ad-libbed movie about a van that feasts on blood. It’s a real loss to cinema.
But most of the video was about Newt groveling to Fallon. So Fallon, listen up. You’re some no-talent prostitute in rural Pennsylvania. This is it. If you ever want to make it out of the gutter, Newt is your ticket to fame and fortune. His movie about an undercover government agent who used to be a porn star and is now making movies with sexy monsters is going to be the next big thing. Do you want to be the topless Medusa or don’t you?
Sure, Newt may have said some insensitive things. Maybe he commented on your tits. Or how you’re a lousy mother. Or how your lady parts have an offensive odour. But you didn’t know that Newt was an asshole? It’s been his defining trait throughout his life. You had no problem when he was being an asshole to Horseface, Tony from Hack the Movies, PVC Bondage Guy, Kieran, James Rolfe, Justin Silverman, that woman who died from cancer who he fucked up the ass, or anyone else who he’s ever known.
So lose the attitude and respond to Newt’s increasingly desperate texts. You’re no better than he is. Anybody spending time with Newt is a piece of shit. He knows this, you know this, we all know this. As big of a loser as Newt is, you’re the one leeching off of him. What does that make you?
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“Zombie Gums” Erin
I haven’t been on Erin’s Twitter in a while. I’m so *nostalgic* for Erin’s boring as fuck Twitter.
“The script for my next video is taking 4ever but it IS coming. Had a lot going on that’s been quite draining. But for a positive-my gum graft stitches should be taken out next week so hopefully I’ll be able to smile again without looking like I have strange things in my teeth!”
What in the blue hell is this? Gum graft? Oh god. I regret looking this up. I hesitate to even describe it. If you’re at all queasy, just skip this article.
“Gum graft surgery is a dental procedure for treating thinning gums or gum recession. Gum grafting covers exposed teeth roots and adds volume to your gum line, improving overall oral health.”
WHY WOULD SHE GET THIS? WHO CARES ABOUT HER GUMS?
How much did Mike fucking pay for this shit? Let me look this up.
$3,000 per tooth. And they use gum tissue from cadavers. So Erin is walking around with a dead person’s gums. And how many gum areas were affected? Oh god. It’s fucking unbelievable. Mike dropped at least ten thousand bucks on this shit, I bet. FOR ZOMBIE GUMS.
You could have got breast implants for half that price. That’s something that would improve Erin’s look much more than fucking zombie gums. What the fuck are they doing? Why is every single choice that Erin makes the wrong one?
Do you want to see Erin with giant tits or with ZOMBIE GUMS? Or how much is a Brazilian butt lift? $6,500 on average. It just boggles the mind. GUMS are what she was concerned about. Has anybody EVER commented on Erin’s GUMS?
Then she says:
“The past year has sucked so I’m always worried people think Erin Plays is over (it’s SUPER not!)I know not everyone knows/cares about my “extras” channel so they prob think I’m totally MIA which stresses me out so yeah. I’m streaming and uploading there at least in the meantime!”
Erin, the channel is done. It’s dead. Much like your gums. You’ve come to the realization, finally, that nobody wants to watch a personality blackhole who knows nothing about video games playing video games. Why it took so long, who knows? Maybe she has a zombie brain too.
What about zombie tits? Let’s get some of those on there. Why isn’t this a procedure?
You can have internal organs from dead people, right? Heart, liver…well, let’s not just go on my donor organ knowledge. Let’s look it up.
Heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small bowel, cornea, skin, tendons, bone, hands, face, limbs, “womb”.
Get Erin a zombie bowel. We know how much Mike enjoys anal. Mix it up a little. Stick a new bowel in there.
Erin can go full on zombie. Replace everything possible with cadaver parts. Mike apparently has the money and isn’t afraid of completely flushing it down the toilet. GUMS is what she got. Untold thousands of dollars for this.
She’s a complete fucking moron.
“Random Erin lore: In high school we had to run a presidential campaign for a celebrity. We chose Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance and used a pic from the Ghost of You video to say he was in the invasion of Normandy.”
I don’t understand ANY of that. But bear in mind that this is somebody with a dead person’s gums.
“Gum graft update #2: Today I could finally drink out of a straw and have my Diet Coke â„¢. Sometimes when I laugh/smile too hard the stitches hurt, eating still is annoying but I’m getting closer to being functional when it comes to being Erin Plays, thankfully.”
I’m doing all of this in reverse chronological order so that was from a few weeks ago. Why does she think that anybody wants to hear about this? That’s another thing that’s completely baffling. Keep your disgusting zombie gums to yourself. Why would she advertise this? It’s not like anybody would know. She’s boasting about this. About having zombie gums.
“Gum graft update- feel shitty over all but I’ve been keeping up with the pain meds so that’s helped. Not being able to eat real food makes me feel nauseous and my gums look a bit frankensteined in the area but it’s pretty cool this procedure is even possible.”
It’s unbelievable. She describes the result as “frankensteined”. Because that’s what it is. Somebody dug up a corpse, cut the gums off, and put them on Erin’s rotted fucking gums. But why admit to this?
Even if it was relatively normal cosmetic surgery, people tend not to admit to getting the surgery. You get a nose job or something, people don’t want to admit to that. It’s personal business. But Erin is out there flapping her zombie gums about her absolutely vile treatment.
And HornyGoriya is out there wishing Erin a speedy recovery. She must REALLY be into Erin that she still wants to get in there even after hearing about the zombie gums.
“Hi! I’m getting gum grafting surgery today for receding gums and from what I see online, recovery if different for everyone. So I may not be able to stream for a bit depending on how healing goes. Yes, I’m scared lol. Learn from me- Don’t brush too hard and use a SOFT toothbrush!”
Is she retarded? Brushing too hard caused her to get fucked up gums?
Let me be clear here. There’s nothing wrong with Erin’s gums. Well, now there are. She has a corpse’s gums now. But before she did that completely insane thing, there was nothing wrong them. I don’t know exactly because I’m not looking at Erin’s fucking gums and gums are typically not a thing that you can really see on people but I’m just assuming that they were perfectly fine.
This is just some other weird obsession that she has like her “carpal tunnel syndrome” which is completely invented. It’s a mental health problem, not a medical problem. And Mike, instead of getting her the psychiatric help that she so clearly needs, enables her delusions and says, “Oh, sure, honey. Let’s get you some zombie gums. I was the puppetmaster of a retard for many years so have the cash to waste.”
In the responses, somebody asks if it’s cadaver tissue and Erin says that it’s from the roof of her mouth but I don’t care. I’m sticking with zombie gums.
Erin is a big Michelle Trachtenberg fan. Never mentioned her once. Mike should have splashed out to have Michelle Trachetenberg’s gums grafted onto Erin’s gums.
Is Erin still on Bluesky? Oh, yeah.
She needs the world to know about these zombie gums.
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Convention Creeps – Newt Wallen
https://fawesome.tv/movies/10666511/convention-creeps
This is a compilation of various Z-list “Youtubers” talking about nerd conventions. The sound is all fucked up because these are just a sampling of videos that these people made in their living rooms or whatever. That’s where Newt made his. So Newt’s sound levels will be completely different from the next person’s. No effort was put into this at all. I mean, I’ve never talked about sound levels in my life but this is really, really, REALLY noticeable and distracting.
THIS is a documentary? All these people are doing is promoting their fucking Youtube channels. It’s a scam.
What they could have done is interviewed actual people who go to these conventions. You know, like a documentary. That might have been interesting. What motivates a person to go to a nerd convention? What type of people go to these things? Instead, they did this.
And Newt didn’t say a single thing that he hasn’t said a billion times already on his Youtube channel. Did he talk about Horseface? Of course he did. He got fired, he was sad, Horseface stopped talking to him, et cetera. We get it, Newt. This was years ago.
He also seems to have a bizarre obsession with pointing out how many gay people attend these nerd conventions. Newt, just come out of the closet. We don’t give a shit. You’re a single man, you have a cat, you’re emotional, you sell pictures of your penis to gay men. All the signs are there.
Then you hear a buzzing and he ends by saying, “My dryer’s done. My clothes are done.” This is unbelievably bad. Why was that left in? It wasn’t even done for laughs, as far as I can tell. You can barely hear it.
This video got a 51% rating. I don’t see any way to vote so don’t know how they got that rating. But 51 seems very generous. It’s a scam. A compilation of Youtube clips is not a documentary.
And the other people in this thing…Jesus fucking Christ.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm13713433
If you thought that Horseface was tough to look at, take a look at Kristy Adams over here. I’m not even 100% sure that it’s a woman. But she’s there “starring” in these “tits and gore” movies. Newt even mentioned one of these several times before: OnlyFangs. In what conceivable universe is this a hot chick? But she’s there fucking promoting her shit in this “documentary.” That’s all that this is.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8966356
Jessie Hobson. So-called film director of “tits and gore” trash. Not coincidentally, he was an “actor” in something called Cult of Blood, which was written and directed by Robbie Lopez, the same person who “directed” this marketing “documentary.”
“Jessie Hobson is the author of several memoirs from his various lives, a collection of My Little Pony fanfiction novels, as well as the forthcoming alien-themed bukake erotica ‘Blumperfluff’ series, which he insists is ‘sure to be my seminal work.’”
In case it needs to be pointed out, his IMDB “mini biography” was written by himself. It even states as such at the bottom. So he’s writing his own “biography” in the third person. And this is what he decided to include. This disgusting bullshit that nobody is ever going to pay money for or even look at for free.
https://www.youtube.com/@cjrobles2.0
CJ Robles. He has a Youtube channel where he talks about his struggles with mental health to an audience you can count on with one hand. His videos struggle to get ten views.
On his Instagram, he describes himself as a “Filmmaker, Stand Up & Improv Comedian, Actor, Clown, Podcaster, Streamer, Motion Graphics Designer.” Those are a lot of words to say “unemployed crazy person.”
There’s also somebody called Buck Stallion but I couldn’t find anything about him. Lose the wacky name, asshole.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm10898010
And it was all directed by famous German/Spanish/Scottish director Robbie Lopez. He puts his “ethnicity” along with other completely bizarre information on his website.
https://filmfreeway.com/RobbieLopez
Why can’t people just be honest? “Dumb cunt” would really get to the meat of the matter.
And of course it’s a bunch of “tits and gore” shit that nobody has ever watched and the guy has never made a penny from.
You want to hear the opinions about nerd conventions from these fucking pathetic lunatics? And that’s not even what they’re doing. It’s mostly promoting their shit. And CJ Robles…oh my fucking god. That guy needs immediate intervention. His shit was genuinely disturbing. He’s just rambling about credit card debt and how people don’t want to move to Texas while wearing his “merch” that nobody but he has ever paid for. He just jumps from topic to topic, clearly suffering from mental illness.
Oh, Steven Reifsteck was also in this. He wasn’t credited on the site but he’s in the end credits. Another lunatic promoting his shit “tits and gore” movies that never go anywhere.
Complete trash. None of this would happen if the US had a competent mental health system. And this isn’t something to be proud of. Like Newt frames it in this “documentary” about how it’s all the freaks and outcasts and whatnot who go to these nerd conventions. No. It’s mental illness. In fact, I’m reminded of the fact that Newt talks about his own mental illness in this thing and how he goes to a psychiatrist.
The “tits and gore” “industry” would stop tomorrow if these people were just given the treatment that they so desperately need. There’s nothing artistic about what they do. And nobody is watching it. So what’s the point? These people are wasting their lives for nothing. It’s delusional crazy people enabling other delusional crazy people.
This isn’t outsider art. This is shit. There are artists who happened to be mentally ill but being mentally ill in itself does not equate to artistic visionary.
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Newt Hospitalised for…Allergic Reaction
Sorry for the photo. Newt posted not one but THREE of these disgusting pictures. He’s really outraged that DoorDash won’t refund the five bucks or whatever for the chicken corn chowder that he ordered.
Let me try to first explain what happened because the Ideas Man is not good at explaining himself. From what I can piece together, Newt ordered some chicken corn chowder from Wawa, a local gas station, through DoorDash, a delivery service. Newt had an allergic reaction to the food. He surmises that it’s from some sort of cross-contamination. So he went to the emergency room.
While on the way to the emergency room and upon returning, he re-tweeted more disgusting pictures of his eye and he tagged both Wawa and DoorDash in these tweets. His goal is, presumably, to publicly shame these companies.
Now, I’m not some kind of elitist but do you know how many times I’ve ordered food from a GAS STATION? Zero. Not one time. When you’re ordering food from a gas station, you’re taking your chances.
And why is he dragging DoorDash into this? They were just the pointless middleman. They didn’t refund the money immediately. Who cares? Why is this five dollars his top priority? Give them time to refund the money. He was posting this shit within hours if not minutes of the allergic reaction happening.
If he has a grievance against anyone, it’s against Wawa. And not for five fucking bucks. Get that shyster lawyer who you’re using to sue…somebody. I still have no fucking idea who he’s suing. But I don’t think DoorDash can be responsible unless they were carrying other food and it somehow contaminated Newt’s gas station food. Anyway, DoorDash responded and they apparently refunded Newt his precious five bucks.
Let me look this up. How much is a chicken corn chowder from Wawa anyway?
I was right. $5.19. For the “small”, anyway. They have different sizes: small, medium, large, and “family”. No family is sharing a bowl of chowder so this is obviously a “big fat guy” size. It’s $13.89 for the “family” size.
It’s interesting. They don’t do this sort of shit in the UK. And I don’t even remember this from when I lived in the US, but I wasn’t buying soup from gas stations so I don’t know. But they just have one size for shit like this. The only thing you can get in different sizes is pizza. Or in Subway, you can get a 6 inch or 12 inch sandwich. I suppose fast food gives you the different options in french fry sizes. Maybe drink sizes too, but I don’t think so. I can’t remember ever being offered a different drink size in the UK.
Oh, you can get a bag of Andy Capp’s “corn and potato” snacks. I’ve never seen these before but Andy Capp? That’s an odd mascot. People still know Andy Capp? Wasn’t it a British comic strip character? Yeah.
You can get all kinds of groceries from Wawa through DoorDash. Although, why anybody would is a mystery. I see these sorts of things increasingly on UK equivelent sites but they just clutter up the search results. I’m not going to order food from a fucking liquor store. Fuck off.
Three dollars for a bottle of Canada Dry ginger ale? That seems expensive. Are these inflated gas station prices or is it a big bottle? I don’t know how much 20 ounces is. Half a liter? Umm…I guess that’s a pretty big bottle but not so much that you’re not supposed to consume it all in one sitting. Another “big fat guy” size for the US.
Anyway, the Ideas Man still went to work. He says that he ran the cinema solo. This doesn’t sound like a viable business.
Oh, and death-obsessed asshole Newt also mentioned that Val Kilmer died. He’s a big Val Kilmer fan. Never mentioned him once but now that he died, he feels the need to pay his respects in the most zero-effort way possible: retweeting something that somebody else wrote about this.
When I originally saw Newt’s picture, I assumed that this would be much more interesting that it was. I thought that one of the pimps of the ladies he hangs out with beat him up or something. No. Just ate some bad gas station chowder and then wanted attention for it. Who wants attention for eating bad gas station chowder? But Newt will take whatever he can get.
By the way, Mr Professional Writer, it’s “all in all”, not “all and all”. You fucking moron.
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Perth horror film festival intro (TEASE) – Newt Wallen
I watched this already, it’s only two minutes, but it is shocking in it’s low quality. I mean, for a Youtube video, it’s his usual quality and it’s fine for Youtube but from what I gather, from what little information the Ideas Man gives us, this is going to be shown in a cinema before a screening of Swamp Zombies 2.
0:00 – So it starts with Newt in his living room pressing “record” on his phone, like he usually does for his videos, and then he picks up his fucking cat and says, “Say hello to the people of Australia.” And the cat meows.
Then he says, “Starting an international incident”, which I don’t understand. How is a cat meowing at all controversial? Then he sarcastically says, “Starting this video off great.”
If he knows it’s bad, which it is, WHY RELEASE IT? Unless I’m wrong, this is going to be Newt Wallen’s introduction to whatever drunks and low-lifes stumble into some sleazy cinema at midnight in some town in Australia. THIS is how he wants to introduce himself? With this totally amateur video that he did NO preparation for? He’s presenting himself as the fucking writer and director of the movie.
“How we doing uh…Perthians, Perthanites. Can you tell I did no research and I’m just winging this.”
Yes. Of course. Why not put effort in? Why is he so afraid of effort?
I’ll tell you why. Because he knows that everything he does is fucking shit. He knows that he has no talent whatsoever. So if he did something that he put effort into, people would say, “This is fucking dog shit” and that would hurt his view of himself as the fucking Ideas Man. But if he just churns out shit that he didn’t put any effort into, he has a built-in excuse. “I was TRYING to make something shitty.”
0:15 – “I like these kinds of things because I’ll hit record and just start talking and then when it’s over, my brain goes, ‘I would have never thought of that’”
This is going to be on the big screen, in Perth, as the director and writer and star of the movie introduces it.
0:30 – “Hello, everyone. I am Newt Wallen. I am the co-writer, the producer, and the ‘actor’ but I don’t think there’s enough sarcastic quotations to go around for that one.”
He made air quotes around “actor”. If the movie is shit, which it is, why even promote it? You’re just rubbing the fact that the audience wasted their money in their face.
0:45 – “I’m super excited that this film is out there and it’s playing in the Land Down Under, which is still bizarre to me. I grew up so…I’m 43 years old so I was alive in that perfect era where Australian things were like really, really popular in America.”
He goes on to talk about seeing Yahoo Serious, which was, effectively, the end of the Australian popularity in the US. What year was this?
He’s referring to Young Einstein (1988). So Newt would have been…five? Six?
This is the perfect era to appreciate the mid-1980s Australian chic? I’m a few years older than Newt and I barely remember it. How the fuck is he in the “perfect era” for this? Even by his own admission, he was five or six when the LAST Australian movie that was at all popular in the US was shown.
And he remembers this? He remembers being five and six and asking his parents to see Young Einstein? I’ve mentioned this many times over the years, in reference to this fake fucking *nostalgia* that these shit “Youtubers” invent, but I remember NOTHING from when I was five or six years old. Am I weird or are they weird?
Well, let me think about this. I remember stuff from kindergarden. You’re probably about six then. But I don’t remember anything from my home life. Maybe I just wasn’t doing anything. That’s a very real possibility.
But no, Australian chic is CLEARLY before Newt’s time. It’s before my time. When was Mad Max released? 1979? That’s earlier than I thought. But Mad Max 2 (1981) is when the franchise took off. You’d have to be at least 10 years old in 1981 to be able to appreciate the movie and the whole cultural awareness around Australia. So to make the arithmetic easy, let’s say you have to have been born in 1970 AT LEAST to be in the “perfect era” for this. That would make you 55 years old today.
And here’s another thing, WHO GIVES A SHIT about Australian chic in the US? The audience for this thing are Australians. They don’t care about your patronising bullshit about how Americans haven’t cared about Australia in 40 years. They have their own shit going on. Do you think Australians are sitting around worried about what Americans think about their country? They don’t give the slightest of fucks, just as Americans don’t care what Australians think about their country. Why should they?
And Newt clearly knows nothing about Australia. He’s getting all of his information about Australia from a shitty movie that he saw as a five year old, nearly forty years ago. I don’t think that Young Einstein was representative of Australia in 1988 and it’s certainly not representative of Australia today.
“But I grew up with Ozpoloitation films.”
A phrase that nobody has ever used. Let me look this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozploitation
They attribute the first use of this term to a 2008 documentary.
“I was literally just talking about Stone and Chain Reaction the other night at work.”
Oh, sure. Those classics. Never heard of them. Let’s look this shit up too.
Stone (1974) and Chain Reaction (1980). Newt (1982) must have asked his parents to see those movies when he was still in his dad’s ball sack. That was the “perfect era” for enjoying “Ozploitation.”
Not even Newt’s parents were watching this shit. Newt’s mother was 17 when she had him so she was born in about 1965. She probably wasn’t watching Stone or Chain Reaction but okay, it’s feasible that she would have watched Mad Max and the Facts of Life season that had Pippa and whatever. Although, actually, what season was that…she surely had Newt by then. It was the final season so 1988. Same as Young Einstein.
So maybe Newt was chilling with his 22 year old mother, when he was five years old, watching the final season of the Facts of Life. Newt is whining about how his mother never says that she loves him and Mrs Wallen says, “Please, Newt, can you quiet down? I get the feeling that we’re in the final year of Ozploitation. This is my era. I want to enjoy it.”
Mrs Wallen would be right. This was her era. It sure as fuck wasn’t Newt’s.
1:30 – Newt talks about how he was “Facebook friends” with the director of Swamp Zombies 2 in 2016, and that he’s still “Facebook friends” with this guy, and this lead to Newt getting…whatever nebulous role that he got out of this.
“I was very much at a crossroads in my life. I went to film school. I wasn’t very successful there. I was part of different Youtube shows over the years but nothing really took off.”
Well, the plagiarism kind of took off.
1:45 – “I had a lot of friends who were kind of losing faith that I could ever produce a film so this movie really came about as a — not a goof but as a, ‘Oh crap, if I want to keep people in my life, I kind of really need to figure out how to make a movie really fast.”
He’s literally talking about Horseface in this thing. Horseface. His need to make a movie so that he could still hang out with Horseface. Because Horseface, like the rest of the whores he surrounds himself with, only hang out with him in exchange for money and to be in these zero budget “tits and gore” movies, almost none of which ever getting released.
Newt…the drunks in Perth who are there for this screening of an old shitty amateur movie don’t need to hear about your personal hangups in regards to HORSEFACE. It’s completely irrelevant. TALK ABOUT THE MOVIE.
Then the clip just abruptly ends mid-word. This was just the “teaser”, after all. Or “tease” as the illiterate Ideas Man says. If you want to watch the full video, up there on the big screen, of this dimly-lit video in Newt’s living room where he rambles about red-haired women who don’t talk to him anymore, you have to travel to one of the seedier areas of Perth, find the last remaining porno theatre, and pay the five dollarydoos to see the movie. Bunch of dudes in hats with those corks attached to the brim jacking each other off while Newt drones on about how unjust it was that he got fired from “that place I used to work at.”