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  • Castlevania III ALUCARD PATH! NES – Erin Plays

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55QyeVrFZOA

    I’m not watching this.  This is just a rehash of a recent stream that she did.  You can watch a no doubt highly edited version of that stream here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll9ncNl-zY4

    She’s wearing a different shirt so maybe it’s not the exact same footage but we’ve seen this.  We’ve seen Erin play Castlevania III, poorly, for money.  MANY, MANY, MANY TIMES.

    I’m not doing this this again.  Twenty-seven minutes?  Fuck you.  

    She’s completely out of ideas.  

    Here’s a comment that somebody left on her Twitter about this video:

    – “Erin I wanna see a no extra life cheat and no companion run for CV3. It’s tough but attainable.”

    That reminds me.  She almost certainly played this game with the “HELPME” cheat that gives her ten lives.  That’s the only way that she plays the game.  But this guy wants her to play it with no extra lives?  He’s out of his mind.

    Here’s Erin’s most recent video on her Extras channel:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss4UE89rqjo

    “First SEGA Genesis Variety Stream of 2021!”

    It’s fucking shit.  She does these stupid “variety streams” so that she can get “content” suggestions from her horny loser fans.  Even the “research” is all done on stream, for money.  And if you watch these fucking streams, you have no reason to watch her Youtube videos because the Youtube videos are just rehashes of the streams.  Often, she literally just uses footage of the streams for her Youtube videos.

    And she’s wearing her fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt in this Castlevania III: Part 50 video.  Because she’s all about *nostalgia* from when she was two years old.  

    If she was good at lying, that would be one thing.  But anyone with a third grader’s grasp of arithmetic can see that Erin (born 1988) can’t possibly be *nostalgic* for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (height of popularity: 1990).  

    I get the feeling that I was a bit too old for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  I think that I saw the movie in the cinema, though.  I must have been 11 or 12.  Yeah, that checks out.  I had the action figures too so I couldn’t have been too old.  But I remember kids slightly younger than me being really into it.  But not ten years younger than me.  

    So let’s figure this out.  Erin was 10 years old in 1998.  That’s probably a good age to have been interested in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  But what were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing in 1998?

    The original cartoon was over.

    The short-lived live-action series was over.  And it wasn’t popular.

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was released five years earlier.  And it was a disaster.  

    Then there wasn’t any new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shit until 2003 when they did a reboot of the cartoon.  Erin would have been 15 or 16 years old.  She’s watching TMNT cartoons at that age?

    The franchise was completely dead for the years that Erin was the appropriate age to be interested in this shit.  But there she is with her classic TMNT animated series shirt.  

    It’s all fake.  Her entire life.  

  • One to Grow On

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=757EgPlhKdE

    Hey guys!  Remember One to Grow On?  The series of public service announcements that ran from 1983 to 1989?  1989.  That was a good year!  It was the beginning of Heisei period in Japan.  I’m so *nostalgic* for Emperor Akihito!

    0:15 – Betty White teaches us how to escape from household emergencies like…getting locked in the bathroom when there’s an overflowing toilet?  

    This is the only one that I actually remember because it was just so weird.  Is this a problem for people?  I mean, it is kind of a scary situation.  You can see the water coming out from the bathroom door.  That must be a lot of toilet water.  And yeah, overflowing toilets are a cause for panic.  But…I’ve never been locked in a bathroom when it was happening.

    Here’s an interesting cultural observation.  I’ve never had ANY toilet problems since moving to the UK.  No clogs, no overflows.  Everything always works as planned.  

    In the US, fuck…LOADS of toilet issues.  Why is this?  Why do American toilets malfunction so often?  If Erin ever took up that plumbing course, like I’ve suggested in the past, this would have been a good question for her.

    1:15 – Michael J Fox teaches us not to play with matches.  There are numerous fire puns in this one.  

    “Every year, thousands of people are hurt or left homeless by the careless use of fire.”

    Really?  I’d like to see some statistics on that.

    Then he goes on about how fire is a tool and whatnot.  Like we’re fucking cavemen and need to be told this.

    2:15 – Kim Fields teaches us about…how to deal with bullies who are sabotaging playground equipment?  These situations are all completely insane.  Has this ever happened to anyone?  

    3:30 – David Hasselhoff teaches us about…getting snubbed by your friend.  Maybe the friend is just busy and that’s why they snubbed you.  That’s the lesson.

    Not only is this another bizarre situation but this is ridiculously petty.  

    4:30 – Nancy McKeon teaches us that nerds can play basketball too.

    This one is just too far-fetched.  

    First of all, two of the kids are black, one kid is white, and the nerd is white.  Most of these PSAs are racially mixed.  Like in the previous one, it was a white girl and her friend was Asian and her new friend was black.  It’s just not really realistic but that’s television.

    So this nerd is carrying a load of books.  The one kid tells him to go catch butterflies instead.  That was probably a popular nerd activity of the day.  Then you’d pin them in a little box.  It’s fucking gross.  

    After Jo from The Facts of Life chastises these kids, they let this nerd take a practice shot.  And he nails a carefully edited shot.  So then the kids are all impressed and want to be on his team.

    It’s pretty ridiculous.  Where did he learn to become such a pro basketball player?  And from the footage I see, even this edited version, he sucks ass.  Look at that awful dribbling and that terrible shooting form.  Come on.  Those black kids are going to run circles around him.

    And that one kid is playing with like a newsies hat on?

    5:30 – Ricky Schroeder teaches us not to make up completely insane lies.  I mean, it’s fine to lie but when you start bringing prehistoric animals into the story, you’ve gone too far.  The lesson here seems to only make plausible lies.

    And what is this kid from?  Not Ricky Schroeder but the kid in the little skit.  He’s from something but I can’t place it.  

    Oh.  Mr Belvedere?  One of Wesley’s friends?

    6:30 – Byron Allen…who is this?  He was a co-host on something called Real People.  It’s before my time, I guess.

    So he teaches us that it’s not cool to steal car radio antennas.  

    It’s true.  This was something that people did back in the day.  And as Mr Allen astutely tells us, it’s pointless.  

    And yeah, this guy is super gay.  

    What?  He’s married with three children?  I don’t buy that for one second.  

    7:30 – Joel Higgins teaches us…something.  But first, a Fruity Pebbles commercial.  It now has grape flavour.  Oh yeah.  I remember this campaign.  Because Fruity Pebbles doesn’t actually taste of fruit.  It just tastes of a sugary mush.

    Do they still make this shit?  I know there was that John Cena wrestling promo.  Holy shit.  They do still make it.  I thought with people being more health-conscious now, it would have gone the way of Mr Salty.

    So anyway, Joel Higgins teaches us to help old men with their groceries rather than making fun of them for being old.  But I don’t know about this one.  That black kid is still pretty menacing.  He rifles through this old man’s groceries and asks what he has in there.  That’s threatening behaviour.  

    9:00 – Dwight Schultz teaches us that if your best friend is a nerd and your mother has some kind of bizarre bias against nerds, you should just talk to your mother and try to reason with her.

    The nerd is played by Urkel from Family Matters.  They even almost use his real name.  Jerry White. 

    But…this one is more for the parents.  This kid didn’t do anything.  His friend is a nerd.  Big deal.  I mean…I don’t even understand what the mother’s problem is.  

    And the solution is for the kid to sit down and have a discussion with the mother about…being more accepting towards nerds?  That’s insane.

    10:15 – Tom Gray?  Did I hear that right?  I don’t know who this is.  Tom Bray maybe.  He was on Riptide?  I never heard of that show.  These are mostly actors who were in children’s shows.  Well, let’s hear him out anyway.

    Whoa.  Baby got back.  How did this get past the censors?  

    Anyway, the lesson here is to be a good babysitter.  And wear skin-tight trousers.

    11:15 – Perry King?  Who are these people?  Oh, he was in Riptide too.  So yeah, this must have been it.  The show was on from 1984 to 1986.  NBC obviously wanted to make this thing a hit.  It was a detective show.  

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wvHSbwkWRo

    From the intro, it appears to be a show borrowing heavily from Magnum PI with all the sexy ladies in bikinis and whatnot.  But it also has sex robots.  So…there’s nothing about this that doesn’t appeal.  I’ll have to track down all the episodes and binge watch them some time.

    Anyway, this is another weird one.  The mother wants her daughter to go to the aunt’s accordion recital.  How old is this aunt?  Actually, now that I think of it, I suppose that adults did participate in recitals.  Seems weird, though.

    So the lesson here is that if you don’t want to do something, you should try to sit down and reason with your parents.  Yeah.  Good luck with that.

    12:15 – Ooh Mr T.  

    This is another weird one.  Actually, I think they’ve all been weird so far.  It’s a kid playing baseball and the kid umpire calls him out.  The first kid disagrees with the call.  So the two of them get into an argument.

    So the kid decides to take all of the stuff and go home.  And apparently, this kid not only provided the bat and the ball, he also provided all of the bases.  

    Was this a thing?  I never played baseball.  But didn’t public baseball fields already have bases like permanently installed?  Or if not, wouldn’t people just approximate where the bases are?  Use rocks or carve them into the dirt or something?  Surely, nobody was hauling bases to these pick up games.  This kid can’t even carry them all.  How did he get them there in the first place?

    So after Mr T calls this kid a chump, he derides him for not finishing the game.  

    It’s just a weird lesson.  First of all, the umpire was a giant asshole.  He was escalating the situation, saying that kid doesn’t have a brain, and shit like this.  So…the lesson here should have been about good sportsmanship and not needlessly insulting people. 

    Or what about respecting the call of the umpire?  That’s what I initially thought this was going to be about.  But even at the end of this skit, the kid still disagrees with the umpire’s call.  But again, that umpire was way out of line with his behaviour and this all could have been prevented if he engaged with this kid in a civilised fashion.

    13:30 – Soleil Moon Frye teaches us what a horrible actress she is.  Just listen to this shit.  I can’t even understand what she’s saying.  And she’s obviously reading this shit.  Badly.  She couldn’t even be bothered to memorise her lines.  

    And she’s making this face like she’s having a stroke.  And weird movements.  How the fuck did she get such a plum role as Punky Brewster?  

    Also, you shouldn’t be afraid to go to the doctor.

    14:30 – Justine Bateman teaches us that if you get stuck with a nerdy kid for your school project, you shouldn’t be a giant bitch about it.  But if you really don’t want to work with that loser, you should talk to your teacher.  What a lesson.  

    15:30 – Lisa Welchel?  That’s some bow tie.  Was this the fashion or is she coming out of the closet with this video?  

    Look at that awkward exchange of low fives.  

    And then…one boy takes a bunch of pictures of another boy.  Umm…and the lesson here is not to do that.  Good advice.

    16:45 – Michael Gross teaches us that loads of people have divorced parents and it’s okay.  

    Is this Punky Brewster in this skit?  The acting and diction are atrocious so I think it is her. 

    And I can’t tell what’s even going on here.  Are these two girls step-sisters or friends?  And…they have parallel bars in their bedroom?  Or are they in some gymnastics class or something?

    17:45 – Perry King is back but first, a Honey Combs commercial.  You can get miniature licence plates in each box of Honey Combs.  I vaguely remember this.  There’s a licence for each state.  But…why would you want any state other than the state you currently reside in?  

    I mean, if you’re in Texas, why would you want a Vermont bicycle licence?  Or vice versa?  I don’t mean just out of state pride but if we’re modelling this on car licences, you need to get a licence from the state that you’re resident in.  

    You also have a 1 in 620,000 chance of winning a trip to Disneyland or some shit.  Terrible odds for a pretty shit prize.

    Oh so the lesson.  This is also bicycle-related.  Don’t make fun of your friend for having a poor family who can’t get her a nice bike with tassels.  And Jesus Christ are these some homely kids.  They must be related to the producer or something.

    19:15 – Kim Fields is back to teach us not to take up smoking.  

    20:30 – Valerie Harper teaches us not to look at things that people say are private.  That’s fine.  I’m down with that.

    But then she goes on to say that if you don’t want people to look at your private things, you shouldn’t leave them in places where people can find them.  Way to blame the victim.

    This girl clearly said that this piece of paper was private.  And then she TURNED IT FACE DOWN and left to go speak to the librarian or whoever it was who called her.  So the second girl then looked at this paper.

    The blame is ENTIRELY on the girl who looked at the paper.  But that’s not what Valerie Harper would have you believe.  Shameful.

    21:30 – Joel Higgins again.  This is maybe the most uncomfortable one yet.  A girl is abusing a dog.  She gets on top of him and starts choking him and slapping him and shit.  And this is a real dog.  They can’t fake this.  The slap might be fake but not the rest of it.  

    And then, with some still pretty aggressive “kindness”, the dog learns to talk for some reason.

    – “Way to read those cue cards like a boss, Punky.”

    It’s true.  It was just unbelievably bad.  I know that she was like seven years old or whatever but how did that possibly get on air?  If she can’t memorise the lines and deliver them in a reasonable fashion, find somebody else.  

    “Her father was actor Virgil Frye and her mother is talent agent and caterer Sondra Peluce (née Londy). She is Jewish.”

    Oh.  Now I see how she got that Punky Brewster job.  But the nepotism couldn’t last forever.  Her career was over by the time she was 10.  No talent and horse face certainly didn’t help.

  • an announcement… – Bobdunga

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnFg6IDA94A

    Before I even start, the first thing I notice is the ad for a VPN service in her description.  

    And one hour after she uploaded the video, she uploaded another video: part 2 of 5 of her commercial for Oculus Rift.

    What the fuck is going on?  All she’s doing now is making commercials.  Can this possibly be lucrative?  And lucrative enough to destroy your channel?  

    People should be downvoting this shit in droves.  But I suppose that would first require droves of people to actually click on the video.

    0:00 – “I have decided to quit my Youtube channel.  Just kidding!”

    Boy, what a relief.  For a minute there I was worried where I was going to get the latest information about NordVPN.

    So she’s going to make a documentary.  Or something.  I don’t know.  My mind was wandering.

    2:30 – She’s also going to be posting “funny stream highlights”.  I’ll reserve judgement.

    3:45 – She compares this new format to ContraPoints.  I didn’t know who this was but I spoiled myself by reading the comments ahead of time.  Here’s the comment that references this…individual.

    – “You like ContraPoints? That tranphobic tokenistic trans woman? That keeps pushing hate against non-binary people like me? I’m honestly pretty disappointed 😢”

    Then I went to Wikipedia dot com.  ContraPoints is a man in a dress who made a comment about “they/them” not being a legitimate pronoun.  Or something.  So some other men in dresses got upset over this.  

    4:00 – “I might have found a game that was considered lost to time.”

    This is what her documentary is going to be about.  I’ll guess that it’s some Flash game that nobody cares about.

    4:30 – Weird “comedy” skit from out of nowhere where Bobdunga plays both characters.  

    And this leads to the VPN commercial.  Are you worried about Bobdunga’s alter ego breaking into your home?  Then download the VPN.  

    How is that going to work?  And no, that was never a concern of mine.

    Anyway, it’s just more craziness from crazy Bobdunga.  It’s heaping helpings of craziness.  Craziness on top of craziness.  I don’t even want to get into it.  She makes for REALLY uncomfortable viewing.

  • The Weirdest Reskinned SNES Game | Today In Retro – Retro Ali

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cwwdl0JGqxI

    It’s Ranma 1/2.  Some anime shit.  So if you’re not interested, as you shouldn’t be, you can stop reading right here. 

    Once again, Ali hid the most important information from the title because she knows that had she put “Ranma 1/2” in the title, nobody would watch.  

    Did I mention Ranma 1/2 in my comic book post?  No.  But I mentioned it here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/06/spring-retro-pickups-alis-retro-pickups.html

    Anyway, they re-skinned this Ranma 1/2 game for the US release.

    0:45 – “Why did they bother going through the effort of re-skinning this fighting game for the US audience?”

    Well, let’s think about this.  The year was 1992.  Anime was not popular in the US.  Nobody fucking knew about it.  Ergo, they re-skinned the anime characters for the game.  

    This isn’t challenging stuff.  But Ali can’t even imagine a world before anime.  

    Nerds in 1992 were interested in…let me think…well, Star Trek.  Was X-Files on yet?  No, that was 1993.  Dungeons & Dragons, I guess?  I don’t actually know anyone who played that.  And Magic the Gathering wasn’t yet out.  Comic books, I guess.  

    Computers.  This is before the internet.  I’m sure that the internet existed but I never heard about it before about 1995.  But yeah, computer games were a nerd hobby.  

    Oh, reading.  How silly of me.  I forgot about reading.  Yeah, nerds used to read.  Whatever, fucking Dune books or whatever.  Science fiction generally.  

    Nowhere on the list: anime.  I’ve gone over this just recently but it didn’t exist in the US.  And it had only fairly recently become popular in Japan.  

    1:15 – Ali mentions that there were twelve Ranma 1/2 “OVAs”.  Whatever that is.  Let me Google this.

    Original Video Animation.  I…don’t know what that means.  Even after reading some definitions, I’m not sure.  I think it’s like a bonus episode that they put in like box set DVDs.  Like season 1 or whatever would have a bonus video.  This bonus video is called an “OVA” by hardcore nerds.

    Ali just expects us to know that.  Yeah, we’re all massive anime nerds.  Well, I don’t know.  She’s probably not far off in terms of her fanbase.

    2:00 – “Keep in mind that anime hadn’t really hit its stride here in the US”.

    If she knows this, what’s the point of this video?  She asked a question at 0:45 and answered it at 2:00.  

    She’s talking about how Ranma 1/2 didn’t even come out in the US until 1993.  And even then, it was a really niche thing.  That’s why my copy of Ranma 1/2 #1 was a fairly expensive comic at one point.  It was rare.  And the nerds were just getting into this shit.  

    2:15 – “The US was still like, ‘What the heck is this anime thing?’”

    Yeah.  So how does she get another six minutes out of this topic?

    4:00 – She goes through what the changes are.  

    That’s the video.  I mean…I’m underwhelmed.  

    Let me Google OVA uncensored.  I…oh.  

    Let’s check out Retro Ali’s Twitter.  Maybe some interesting “content” there.  There’s a first time for anything, I guess.

    No.  It’s all Pokemon and anime shit.  This has to be autism.

  • Mike and Erin Look for Bad SNES Games with the Chat! – Erin Plays

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-woadFiEdBo

    I assume that this is the stream where she found the games for her 5 Bad SNES Games.

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/01/5-bad-snes-games-erin-plays.html

    Absolutely everything has to be on stream, for money.  She can’t even do research in her spare time.  If she’s not getting paid, she’s not touching any video games.  She won’t even look at them without getting paid.

    0:00 – “Hey guys!  What’s up?  Happy New Year.  I’m here with…mmmm…Mike?”

    Just watch this.  It’s the most awkward shit you’ve ever seen in your life.

    When she was introducing him, I thought that she was going to put her arm around him.  You know, as couples sometimes do.  But she just awkwardly pointed to him.  

    She must detest every moment of living with Mike.  I mean…she’s there in a buttsex for Youtube promotion agreement.  She’s getting like $200/month from Youtube and however much from Twitch, it can’t be much.  I mean…imagine getting fucked in the ass every day by a man you don’t love for PENNIES.  Mike is making out like a bandit on this agreement.  It’s the next best thing to being in a real relationship.

    But for Erin…every day must be a struggle.  

    Forget about the assfucking.  I’m just thinking of myself, as a heterosexual guy, if I was in some sort of sex for Youtube promotion with some woman I wasn’t interested in, I moved across country to live with her, and the whole thing was a giant disaster, I’d be really resentful to this woman.  I was promised fame and fortune if I moved in with you and did all that sexual stuff to you.  I’m getting $200/month.  This is not working.

    With this in mind, watch this intro again.  It is awful.  She can’t even bring herself to lay a single finger on him.  

    I’m not saying that they have to start dry humping.  But even as a JOKE put your arm around him.  She’s been living with this guy for over two years (I think) and that’s the best that she can manage.  Awkwardly pointing at him.  

    And then yeah, she says that this stream is because she wants to do a bad SNES games video.  And that poor bastard Mike is just sitting there with a grin on his face.  He’s there with a total fucking fraud, he knows it, and she hates everything about this.  She hates the video games, she hates Mike, she hates rural Pennsylvania.  What the fuck has she done with her life?

    0:15 – “I know that you guys have some ideas.  Like I know ShiShi will be in here, maybe, if he’s in here tonight.”

    And Mike makes a weird face.  ShiShi also goes to a lot of Mike’s streams.  But…it’s pathetic.  This whole thing.  Doing these shit streams for a handful of horny, obsessed perverts like ShiShi.

    By the way, I was watching a recent stream that Mike did and he referred to a comment that ShiShi made.  I can’t remember the show…Step by Step or something…but ShiShi made a reference to how one of the teenage girls on there was really hot.  ShiShi makes a lot of comments like this.  And just at his Twitter, which is full of pictures of anime girls.  Do I have to say anything?  And this is Erin’s biggest fan.

    0:30 – The first of what will be many, many, many edits.  This is why I don’t watch this shitty “extras” channel any more.

    So what did she cut out?  Basically nothing.  It was just a couple of sentences where she said that she was talking really fast because she drank a Red Bull.  Who gives a fuck?  Why did she edit that out?  

    If you’re going to edit out anything, edit out that awkward intro where you pointed to the love of your life: Mike Matei.

    1:00 – Another edit.  Mike is giving a suggestion of a game that he’d like Erin to play and it cuts out right before he’s about to say what the game is.

    No.  Again…this was SECONDS.  And nothing even was really said.  It was just Mike scrolling through the games for a few seconds.  She cut this out.  Why?  

    1:45 – So it’s some Road Runner game.  Mike says that some people like it.  Erin says, “If people can like Skate or Die, they can like anything.”  Mike makes a face, knowing that Skate or Die is a fairly popular game.  Erin just didn’t know the controls.  This was one of the games in her 5 Bad NES Games video.  She played it for less than a minute.

    4:30 – After playing the game, really poorly, for the first and last time ever, she said that the game is pretty good.  She had no clue what she was doing.  But she had “fun”.  Not enough fun to play in her spare time but for those three minutes, she had fun.

    Then she wants to quit but Mike tells her to keep going.

    5:00 – “I love the colours of the balloon.  I love the colours of the background.”

    That’s not a quote from Erin.  MIKE said that.  I’ve also noticed that he’s been saying, “I never played this before” quite a bit lately.  Pretty soon he’s going to start talking about how stressful games are and that his hands hurt.

    6:00 – “Space Ace?  Maybe.”

    She says this with a total lack of recognition.  So she obviously just Googled that game for the video.  She knew absolutely nothing about this game before this Googling exercise.

    7:30 – “Okay, this isn’t great.  I want to move on.”

    She wants no part in any of this.  I don’t understand why she tortures herself.  She doesn’t even want to play GOOD video games.  Why play bad ones?  For a few minutes each?  For a handful of horny losers?  For pennies?  In exchange for buttsex with this guy who you’re completely repulsed by?

    How could somebody even get themselves into a mess like that?  Think of the series of horrible choices that she had to make to arrive at this location.

    8:00 – Mike starts reading a list of suggestions from the chat.  Not ONE of these registers with Erin.  They’re titles like Pit Fighter and Bubsy.  She never even heard of these.  

    8:15 – Another edit.  I just don’t care any more.  This video is over two hours long.  If I make it to the 15 minute mark, it will be a miracle.  Let’s just move on.

    9:30 – Erin is playing Mighty Max, poorly.  She compares it to “That McDonalds game for the Genesis.”  She can’t even remember the name.  She did a video on this game.  That was the only time in her life that she ever played this game.

    “What the hell is it called?  Why am I blanking?”

    Because you only played the game one time in your life.  For a shitty Youtube video, for money.  Don’t worry about it.  I don’t remember the names of games that I only played one time either.

    10:45 – They’re talking about how the game looks like “Diarrhoea Hell”

    Mike: Everything is brown.

    Erin: Everything is brown.

    Mike: They got brown o-rings everywhere.

    Erin: (groans) Okay.

    Again with the assfucking.  Every day must be a nightmare for her.  But it’s a nightmare of her own creation.  She tried to use Mike to further her Youtube “career” and it backfired horribly.  So now every day is sodomy.  And she’s doing it for $200/month.  

    When you look at that way, it’s kind of a feel good story.  An awful person tried to use somebody for her own financial gain and ended up getting fucked in the ass for $200/month as a result.  How could it be any better?  Dastardly villain gets her comeuppance.

    I’m just going to skim now to see what other games she played, briefly, for pennies.

    12:00 – Home Alone 2.  “How do you jump?”  Uh huh.

    19:00 – Erin shows off her notebook.  She says that she doesn’t want to “fuck it up” because it’s very “ornate”.  Mike says, “Don’t worry, if you fuck it up, I’ll buy you another one.”  Erin rolls her eyes and exhales loudly.  

    But yeah, that’s…that’s the relationship.  She only brings in $200/month.  He has to buy her everything.  And with that power comes unlimited access to the buttocks.

    I’m all for women being treated the same as men.  So…you know…Erin should get a job.  That way she’s not at the mercy of Mike.  She doesn’t have to rely on a man for everything.  This whole thing is her giant fuck up because she’s too lazy to work for a living.  

    She can’t even buy a NOTEBOOK.  Think about that.

    Anyway, she plays Beauty and the Beast.  Briefly.  For the first time ever.  “I forget how you growl.”  Uh huh.

    22:15 – Ignition Factor.  

    22:30 – “Play Ghoul Patrol?  We’re playing BAD Super Nintendo games.”

    I think that Erin is thinking of Ghoul’s n Ghosts.  Because Ghoul Patrol looks like a pretty bad game.  And I’ve never heard of it so no way has Erin heard of it.  

    Anyway, Ignition Factor requires WAY more work than Erin is prepared to do.  You have to read text and equip items and shit.  She doesn’t want to do it.  Moving on.

    28:00 – “Let’s play Phalanx”

    Interesting pronunciation from Mike.  Obviously not a student of ancient Greek warfare.

    It’s a “shmup”.  “Oh, look at that.  I have little bombs.”  Yes.  Like in most every “shmup” ever made.  Moving on.

    30:30 – Batman Forever.  “Hey BroomHatter.”  Moving on.

    37:00 – Space Ace.  

    Erin: Is this the one that was also a…

    Mike: Like Don Bluth?

    Erin: (clueless).  Oh.  What’s the space one that’s like, it was like King’s Quest and there was a fake one?  Because I’m not a PC person.

    Mike: Oh.  Space Quest.

    Two issues arise.  First, she had NO IDEA who Don Bluth was but in her Youtube video, she presented herself as something of a Don Bluth historian.  

    Secondly, she didn’t know that the space-themed series of games similar to King’s Quest was called Space Quest.  It was kind of Sierra’s thing to put “quest” in their titles.  But, naturally, Erin has no idea about any of this.

    Then Mike sarcastically says, “How dare you get Space Ace and Space Quest mixed up?” 

    They’re two totally different games.  The only similarity is that they both have “Space” in the title.  

    I can’t believe that Mike actually thought that Erin was going to mention Don Bluth.  

    38:30 – She’s reading from the chat.  “Is Super Punch-Out hard?  Umm…I haven’t played Super Punch-Out.”

    One of the most popular games on the system.  But yeah, have you seen her do a stream or Youtube video of it?  Then she hasn’t fucking played it.  This isn’t challenging stuff.

    So she’s playing Space Ace.  Poorly.  For less than a minutes.  And when she was doing the Youtube video 5 Bad SNES Games, she said, “I’ll be honest, I’ve never gotten past this part.”

    THIS is what she was talking about.  This stream.  Where she played the game for the first time in her life.  FOR SECONDS.  She counts THIS as having played the game before.

    She also keeps pointing out the “dick” in this game and Mike doesn’t see it.  This is a comment that she made in her Youtube video too.  So…she’s just recycling “jokes” as well.  She put not effort AT ALL into this video.  

    She wanted to find bad SNES games.  So what did she do?  Go on stream and take suggestions from the horny losers.  She’s getting paid for this.  And then she just recycles her shitty “jokes”.  She couldn’t even be bothered to come up with new material.

    39:00 – “Look at his floppy feet.”

    Yeah.  She made that “joke” in the video too.  This is fucking shit.  If you’ve seen the stream, you have no reason to watch the Youtube video.  The Youtube video is basically an edited version of the stream.  With added information from the good people at Wikipedia.  

    Of some note, she got further in this initial playthrough than she did for her Youtube video.  She didn’t get ANYWHERE in the Youtube video.

    39:15 – 

    Mike: Have you ever played Dragon’s Lair?

    Erin: Yes! 

    Mike: You know how it’s a very particular…

    Erin didn’t mention the fact that she only played the game on stream, for money.  And that she was talking about the NES version.  Oddly, I think that Mike might have been talking about the NES version too.  

    Anyway, she just keep running into the laser for reasons that totally escape me.  She’s in a safe spot, all she has to do is stop moving, but she keep running straight into the laser.  I have no idea why.  She doesn’t know what she’s doing.  She doesn’t have a clue.

    Then she puts this game in her list of bad games.  In this “elaborate” notebook.  How odd.  

    You know, I don’t want to watch any more.  I’m “only” at 40 minutes but this is fucking dog shit.  

    – “1:07:59 Erin what was that sound?”

    It was Erin making a vaguely sexual noise.  This is the audience.  This is what they’re doing.  

    – “Playing TImecop where you don’t know if you play as Sylvester Stallone or Steven Seagal and it is actually Jean Claude Van Damme”

    Yeah.  

  • How Do You Feel About MCNs on YouTube? – KidShoryuken

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JyL0Le-eeI

    0:00 – Porno music.  Appropriate for KidShoryuken.

    By the way, if you’re unfamiliar with this guy, he lives in Japan and had sex with MadamFomo for money.  He released multiple creepy (non-pornographic) videos with him and MadamFomo.  He’s…fuck…I don’t know…in his mid to late 40s, I’d guess.  Quite overweight.  He was in the military.  Now he’s just a creepy sex fiend in Japan.  I think that he also “teaches” English.  

    0:30 – He mentions what beer he’s drinking.  What does it even matter?  He doesn’t appear on screen.  For the entire video, it’s just a static cartoon image of some arcade that he probably got from a hentai.

    But yeah, he mentions what beer he’s drinking because that’s cool, right?  It’s cool to drink alone while making Youtube videos.  

    3:00 – “I was offered to join Screenwave Media.”

    Finally we get to the point of the video.  Fuck your porno music.  Fuck your Japanese beer that nobody has ever heard of.  Fuck your fake interest in the viewer’s opinions on MCNs (whatever that is).  Just get to it.  Screenwave asked you to join their “home”.  Great.  Screenwave is the home of Youtube.  You presumably jumped at the offer.  Great video.  Thanks.

    “I think it was last month, actually.  Either last month or the month prior.”

    This coincides with SuperVideoGameGal starting her job at Screenwave.  We’ll get to this later but I suspect that it was her who contacted him.

    So he got an email from this Screenwave representative that mentioned the people in his “recommended channels” list.

    Interestingly, Madam Fomo is not in this list.  Are they on the outs?  He can’t afford to pay for her any more?  

    God, imagine how much it must cost to fly a prostitute internationally and spend a WEEK with her.  Or however long it was.  It was at least a few days.  

    Obviously, you’re paying for the flight and the hotel.  I wonder about food.  Is there a specific agreement that you have to pay like a food allowance every day?  

    Actually, is any of this broken down or does Madam Fomo just give him a figure that covers everything plus, of course, the intercourse?  I mean…does she give an itemised list of expenses or does she just say, “It will cost you $10,000 for the week”?

    4:45 – “So I looked up Screenwave Media on Youtube.”

    He says this after explaining that he didn’t know anything about Screenwave so wanted to do some research.  I don’t know.  I suppose that I only know about them from that homosexual sub-reddit about Cinemassacre.

    5:00 – “Everything that came back was negative.”

    Is that right?  Let me look this up.

    Well, about 80% of the results are linked to that homosexual sub-reddit.  

    I’ve never had any problem with Screenwave.  Are they a parasitic middleman?  I guess so.  But if you don’t want to use them, don’t use them.

    James Rolfe is the laziest man on the planet.  So he wanted to outsource some of the “work” that he has.  You know, making videos and whatnot.  He doesn’t want to do it any more.  And the ads and all of this shit.  Just let somebody else do it.  He has the money.  He’ll pay for it.  

    To James, it’s worth it.  It’s worth paying somebody else to do his job for him.  And he doesn’t care that the quality of the videos has suffered.  It’s all worth it.  He’s doing what he wants to do: nothing.  

    And it’s worth it to Screenwave.  Yeah, give us half of your money and we’ll crank out some shitty videos and sign some contracts with Raid: Shadow Legends.  

    What’s the problem?  Everybody is doing what they want to do.  Everyone is happy with the situation.  Obviously the videos are bad.  But who cares?  James does not want to do them.  

    9:45 – “I’ve already turned down a bunch of sponsorships.”  

    He then lists some examples.  TokyoTreats and shit like this.  Those monthly subscription boxes that have Japanese candy in them.

    What would be a good sponsor for KidShoryuken?  Do bath houses do sponsorships?  That would be an obvious one.  Is TokyoTopless still around?  Holy shit, it is.  The site hasn’t changed in 20 years.

    There are a bunch of pictures where they censor the woman’s nose and mouth.  I think that these are escorts that you can pay for.  But to help conceal their identity they censor their nose and mouth.  Really weird.  You know…it’s usually the eyes that get censored.

    Anyway, it’s a weird site and kind of gross.

    What about sex dolls?  Some Japanese company that makes advanced, possibly robotic sex dolls.  That would be a good one for him.  

    Or fucking hentai games.  I don’t know why it took me so long to come up with that.  Or hentai manga or movies or whatever.  

    11:15 – So he responds to this Screenwave representative.  “I just gave a very polite, ‘I’m not interested’”

    “I got a response back saying, ‘Okay.  I understand that you’re not interested.  Would you mind telling me why you’re not interested?’”

    This right here lead me to suspect that it was SuperVideoGameGal who he was talking to.  She’s all about that sleazy corporate sales talk.  “What can I do to put you into the Screenwave home right now?”

    I mean, here’s the appropriate answer to “Would you mind telling me why you’re not interested?”  “My reasons are none of your business.  Fuck off.”

    12:00 – “She tried to keep me interested, though, by letting me know that they have some stuff in the works with, I think, Retroware.”

    This was definitely SuperVideoGameGal.  And again, she can’t take “no” for an answer.  This is somebody who sold fucking timeshares for a living.  

    So that’s the video.  He invites opinions and one guy writes like a short story-sized response.  It’s the longest Youtube comment I’ve ever seen.  I’d copy and paste it but it’s longer than this review.

    ,

  • 5 BAD SNES Games – Erin Plays

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAgxDKADGDY

    This is Erin’s lazy follow up to her 5 BAD NES Games video.  I review that video here:

    https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/08/5-bad-nes-games-erin-plays.html

    I didn’t mention it in that review, but this is a reference to the Angry Video Game Nerd.  I guess?  His first video was called “5 Bad NES Games” or something.

    Why would Erin think that it’s okay to blatantly rip this off?  What association does she have with James Rolfe?  Especially now that Mike was kicked out or quit or whatever happened.

    0:00 – “Hey guys!  So I thought it would be fun to play some bad Super Nintendo games.”

    For a Youtube video.  For money.  Of course.

    “Now these aren’t the worst Super Nintendo games of all time or anything like that.”

    Well, obviously.  You don’t have nearly enough experience with Super Nintendo to be able to make any kind of list whatsoever.  

    So this is just going to be random games that she discovered in one of her “variety streams”.  Is it just going to be clips from her streams?  Let me skim…no, doesn’t seem to be.  So this is the most effort that she’s put into a video in over a month.

    0:15 – Ren and Stimpy: Time Warp.  

    “There’s the Nickelodeon logo that we all know and love.  The new Nickelodeon logo is so soulless.  Like, have you seen it?”

    No.  No, I haven’t.  I’m an adult.  I haven’t kept up with Nickelodeon since about the age of 15 or so.

    0:30 – “Seems like a good start.  We have some Pepto Bismo or something going down.”

    She’s referring to some pink slime or something on  the title screen.  “X looks like Y”.  That’s funny, right?  And yeah, she obviously has never played this before.  

    1:45 – “I really liked Ren & Stimpy as a kid.  My mom didn’t really like me watching it.”

    No, of course not.  I’m surprised that Erin’s parents even let her do that much.  She seems to have spent her entire childhood in some sort of seclusion.

    “I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t get any of the Ren & Stimpy games when I was a kid.”

    I’m not surprised at all.  YOU DIDN’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES, ERIN!  THAT’S WHY YOU DIDN’T HAVE THIS SHIT!

    There’s a psychological phenomena where if you keep saying something, even though you know it’s a lie, you start to believe it.  I think that’s what has happened here.  Erin has spent so many years claiming to be a gamer grrl, even though she clearly has no experience with video games, that now she believes it.  And when she looks back at her life pre-fake gamer grrl on Youtube, she can’t reconcile the reality with this fake “reality” that she’s created for herself.  

    “If I’m such a hardcore gamer playing all of these retro games on stream, for money, why didn’t I play any games as a kid?”

    It creates a damaging cognitive dissonance.  It can lead to dissociation and stuff like this.  You see it sometimes in her videos.  There’s at least one video where she just start laughing and says, “Sorry, I was just thinking about how absurd my life is.”  Something like that.  I don’t have the exact quote.  But she had a momentary realisation that she made some really bad choices in life and how would her life have been different had she not made these choices.

    “Probably because my mom didn’t want me to have the Ren & Stimpy games.”

    This is the reasoning that she’s come up with to try to piece this all together.  I love video games.  I love Ren & Stimpy.  So why didn’t my mother let me have Ren & Stimpy games?  It must be because my mother didn’t like Ren & Stimpy.

    No.  The true answer is that Erin didn’t play video games.  She had two fucking SNES games: Mario All-Stars and Yoshi’s Island.  And she didn’t play them.

    2:30 – She’s at the level 1 boss.  It’s a dog.  She obviously has never been here before.  She hits the dog three times and then complains, “Come on.  How many slaps does it take?”

    Well…more than three.  That would be some disappointing boss fight if it died at only three hits.  It’s easy to hit the dog multiple times.

    Then she dies.

    2:45 – “And it takes you all the way back to the beginning.  I am not playing this again.”

    Why did you even play it the first time?  This whole thing is ridiculous.  Go see if your job at the record store is still available.

    Then she can’t even remember the name of the game.

    3:00 – “Now let’s move on to Time Cop.  Yes, it is based on the movie, which I have never seen!”

    Of course you haven’t, Erin.  It’s really sad.  Doing all of this shit that you have absolutely no knowledge of or interest in.  I mean…are Jean Claude Van Dam movies from “the 90s” something that most women are interested in?  And Erin was like five years old when this movie came out.

    “But I don’t really think that will be a problem when playing this game?”

    You know what might be a problem, though?  Never having played the game before.

    3:15 – “First thing’s first, the graphics are obviously, ummm, not too good.”

    For a brief moment, I thought that Erin was going to mention how this game uses motion capture graphics.  Like in Mortal Kombat or Pit Fighter or whatever.  But then I realised that Erin doesn’t know what motion capture graphics are.  And she’s unfamiliar with the games Mortal Kombat and Pit Fighter.

    She doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.  She’s complaining about having limited ammunition.  I’ve never played the game before but I suspect that there’s a kick button or something and you’re supposed to save your ammunition for particularly heated moments.  But she’s going around shooting everything and then complaining that she runs out of bullets.  “It’s so bad.  It’s so bad.”  

    She doesn’t know how the game fucking works.  She’s playing this shit for the first time ever, doesn’t know what’s going on, plays it for 30 seconds, declares that it’s bad, and then moves on to the next game where this is process is repeated.  She did the exact same thing in the NES version of this video.  

    4:30 – “I guess each enemy only takes one bullet?  I don’t know.  I’ll find out.  Okay.  One.  So I was wrong.  But still, give me more than four bullets.”

    She shot the guy three times but thinks that she only shot him once.  You can clearly see the ammo count on screen.  And from the graphics, you can see that more than one bullet was fired.  But she thinks it was only one shot.

    And yeah, there’s a kick button.

    4:45 – “So now I have no more bullets.  Great.”

    And she zooms in on the ammo counter that previously said “3” and now says “0”.  So she’s aware of what this means but…didn’t notice that it said “3” before she shot this guy?

    5:00 – Space Ace.  “This is from the Dragon’s Lair, Don Bluth family.”

    What an odd reference.  Don Bluth?  Who the fuck is this?

    He worked on Dragon’s Lair and American Tail.  

    Now, Erin has said before that she’s never seen American Tail.  No surprises there.  So she can’t know him from that.

    So she knows him from Dragon’s Lair?  No.  She fucking Googled this.  That’s why she knows that Space Ace is related to Dragon’s Lair, which is another obscure piece of trivia that of course Erin would not know about.

    “So you know it’s not going to be good.”

    What?  Dragon’s Lair was a hugely popular arcade game.  It was shit but it was hugely popular.

    I think that Erin is talking about the NES Dragon’s Lair game, which was only loosely based on the arcade game.  I think that she played this game on stream, for money, in one of her “variety streams”.  

    That’s the only familiarity she has with Dragon’s Lair.  She doesn’t even know that it was an arcade game.  

    “Years ago, I did do a video on Dragon’s Lair about getting through the drawbridge part.”

    Oh.  So yeah, this is her experience with the game.  A shitty Youtube video where she only got past the first screen.

    6:00 – “Is that a dick behind him.”

    Something for the horndogs.  “Erin said ‘dick’….oh yeah!”

    “I’ll be honest, I’ve never gotten past this part.”

    She’s talking about the first screen.  And yeah, BECAUSE YOU NEVER PLAYED THE GAME BEFORE!

    This guy shoots a laser in a particular pattern.  The same pattern every time.  Erin can’t remember what the pattern is so always dies after like the third shot.  So she says, “Fuck it, I’m done.”  This was shortly after her declaring that she’s going to make an effort to get past this part.

    6:30 – “Next up, we have probably one of the worst beat em ups I have ever played.”

    Well, I can’t recall you EVER playing a beat em up so that doesn’t mean anything.  

    It’s Bebe’s Kids.  Let’s see if she ever mentions that this was based on a movie.  Unless she Googled this one too, she won’t know.

    “So, of course, it’s based on the movie from the early 90s.”

    She Googled it.

    “Which I haven’t seen.”

    And she laughs nervously.  Of course you haven’t seen it, Erin.

    7:15 – “Look in the back.  It says ‘No Bevis’” and she flashes a picture of Beavis from Beavis & Butthead.

    Mike was talking about Daria in one of his recent streams.  How much he loves Daria.  He was talking about how she started on Beavis & Butthead.  This was clearly new information to him.  He didn’t know about this.  But he’s also talked many times about how much he loves Beavis & Butthead.

    So how could he not know that Daria started on Beavis & Butthead?  I’ve seen maybe two episodes and I know this.

    But yeah, it was sad to hear.  Erin has talked about her love for Daria.  She’s obviously making him watch this shit and he has to pretend to like it.  And she doesn’t even like it.  So both of them are watching a show that neither one of them actually likes but they’re both pretending that they enjoy it.  Her entire life is a lie.

    7:45 – “So basically, all you can do is punch.”

    This was said right after footage of her doing multiple jump kicks.

    “And kind of kick?  There we go.”

    So he also has a normal kick attack.  But she played the game for ten seconds and immediately declared it to be shit.  Without even knowing the controls.

    8:45 – Race Drivin;.  She starts with flaunting her Google facts.

    She doesn’t know the controls of this game either and never played it before so she performs poorly and declares the game to be bad.

    That’s the video.  She plays these games for literally, I would say, less than a minute (and I mean real time, not video time), doesn’t know the controls, doesn’t know anything about the games, does poorly, and says that the games are shit.

    Maybe they are.  But I don’t think that playing a game for one minute is sufficient to be able to do a review on them.

    – “I  grew up with the SNES, but as an adult I’ve learned there are a lot of great games on the Genesis. They’re just different consoles. For example, Genesis has waaay more shmups which is awesome.”

    That was Erin replying to some ass licking comment.  Mike made almost the exact same comment recently in a stream.

    Has Erin EVER played a “shmup”?  The only time I remember is when she was doing a stream with Mike and Mike actually had to tell her to move further down the screen to give more reaction time.  

    It was a vertical shooter and she was constantly in the middle of the screen.  And constantly dying as a result.  She actually had to be told to move to the bottom of the screen.  Such was her experience with this genre.  This is something that you learn IN THE FIRST MINUTE of playing these games.

    Oh wait, she also played Harmful Park on stream, for money.  This is a game that she likes to mention in at least every third video.  And we can all remember how good she did in that game.  She didn’t even know that the game has bombs.  She didn’t know that bombs are ubiquitous to the “shmup” genre.

    But now Erin is all about the “shmups” on Genesis.  And she “grew up with the SNES”.  TWO GAMES!

    – “Bebe’s Kids is an awful game, but I know a secret to make it slightly more bearable (at least it will get you to the “boss”). The R button makes your character do an uppercut that can put enemies down in two hits. Why they didn’t make this the default punch I’ll never know, but there it is.”

    So Erin didn’t even try all of the buttons.  She just declared that the only thing you could do was punch.  And she was talking about a straight punch, not this uppercut.

    – “Even though the SNES is my favorite console it definitely has some uh…. “interesting” games to say the least haha.”

    That boring as fuck comment was from boring as fuck Retro Ali.

    I’ve noticed something.  None of these gamer grrls ever have anything interesting to say in the comments section.  It’s basically spam.  Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining is particularly awful at this.  She gives two word replies to her horny fans and boring as fuck generic shit on Erin’s videos.

    These are boring people with nothing interesting to say.  They don’t have an original idea in their heads.  They’re completely incapable of having any kind of interesting discussion.  This helps explain their dreadful videos.

  • The Wonder Years

    (The gamer grrls are all taking a much needed break from their “work” so here’s a Wonder Years review that I wrote a couple of months ago.) 

    I recently watched the entire series of The Wonder Years.  This was during a period when I didn’t have the internet so was bored out of my mind.  

    I HATED the show as a kid.  I would literally run and hide when the theme song started and I’d stay hidden until I thought the show was over.  

    Fred Savage and the actor he played on the show is like two years older than me.  And watching the programme with my family was uncomfortable.  It just didn’t resonate with me whatsoever.  Here you have 11 year old Kevin Arnold and he’s going out with a different girl every episode.  The ladies can’t get enough of him.  As an 11 year old.  

    Is this at all realistic?  I didn’t know ANYONE who was dating at 11.  But in the Wonder Years universe, EVERYONE is.  Even fucking Paul has a girlfriend.  It’s ridiculous.  

    And these girls that Kevin was getting were usually taller than him, often older than him, and clearly out of his league.  But there he was, week after week, getting all the bitches.  And I’d be sitting there at home thinking, “What’s wrong with me?  Why aren’t I getting all the bitches?  It’s working for Kevin Arnold.  This is what 11 year olds do, I guess.  Everybody at my school must just not get it.”

    An episode that particularly bothered me was the one where the boys are in gym class and they’re doing sexual education.  And Kevin and the gang are all huge horndogs who want to learn what a vagina looks like.  So they encourage Coach Cutlip to draw one.

    So I’m watching this with my family and I just want to die.  “Do they think that I’m like this?  Do they think that I’m some horny loser like Kevin Arnold who really wants to know what a vagina looks like?”

    Because the truth of the matter is, I wasn’t.  Fucking nobody I knew was.  The episodes aren’t based in reality.  I had no interest whatsoever in knowing what a vagina looked like. Indeed, when I did finally see what a vagina looked like, it was traumatising.  That’s a normal reaction.  That’s relatable.  But you have Kevin and the gang looking at CRUDE INTERNAL DIAGRAMS of a vagina and getting boners.  

    Here’s something else that’s crazy about the Wonder Years.  The show started in 1989 and was set in 1969.  I didn’t relate whatsoever to this time period.  It might as well have been 100 years ago.  I never saw a hippie.  It was totally foreign to me.

    But it was only 20 years earlier.  It would be like doing a show now around *nostalgia* for the year 2000.  

    Anyway, watching the show now, back to back, episode after episode, I realised some things.

    First of all, there’s not really a running narrative from episode to episode.  It’s all very episodic.  One episode, Kevin is on the baseball team, then in the next episode he’s in a rock band, then in the next episode he’s a golf caddy.  Then you never hear about these things again.  He doesn’t stick with anything.  He played soccer for one episode.  He was a wrestler for one episode.  He played football for one episode.  They pretty much covered the major sports.  One episode each.  And then you never hear about it again.

    I guess that this is common for sitcoms of the era.  It makes it so you can jump in at any time and know what’s going on.  If you missed an episode, it’s not a problem.  But it’s still disappointing.

    The second big thing I noticed is that the show became a straight comedy starting in season four.  It was sort of a comedy drama in the first three seasons.  But starting with season four, first episode, it just becomes a comedy.  You have fucking Jack Arnold, the surly patriarch of the family, bugging his eyes out and some comedy sound effect plays and shit like this.  It’s totally out of step with the earlier seasons.  I don’t know if they got different writers or different producers or what but it’s a massive change and it continues for the rest of the series.

    I could do without the slapstick shit.  They actually have a comedy Rube Goldbergesque scene in the final season which results in their tent burning down.  It was much better in the earlier seasons where they played it more straight.  But yeah, starting in season four, the show became a parody of itself.

    I also realised that I never saw the last three episodes.  As the years went on, I stopped hiding when the show started and just watched it.  It was also maybe on in syndicated reruns at this time.  So I had seen probably every episode to date.  

    By the time the sixth and final season came out, I was in the 9th grade.  And I remember people in school talking about the finale. But I must have stopped watching.  

    It’s all a bit of rush as they try to tie things up.  I think that the show was cancelled sort of last minute so that would explain the rushed ending.  It was supposed to end with Kevin graduating from high school but it ended with him still in the 11th grade.  There was a new…whatever…guy in charge of programming at the network and he didn’t like the show.  Or something.

    So suddenly the mother is working at Microsoft (it’s implied) and the father bought a furniture factory for some reason and Wayne is working at the factory.  Karen, mercifully, was written out of the show years earlier.

    That’s another thing.  What an awful character Karen is.  Completely one dimensional.  “You look like a capitalist pig”, “this restaurant is fascist”, whatever. She’s awful.  It’s an awful character played by an awful actress.  

    Fortunately, they shipped her to Alaska in the show.  

    So we get to the finale.  Everybody is making their hasty goodbyes and then suddenly Kevin goes to some country club in another town to be close to Winnie.  Winnie is working there for the summer.  Somehow, Kevin gets a job there.

    Now we’re introduced to new characters.  Now Kevin is best friends with some weird Jewish guy who’s also a busboy at this country club.  And they’re living together, like four guys in a tiny room.  

    I don’t care about any of this.  I suspect that this new character is related to somebody with a prominent position on the show.  Why else would they force this new character in for the final episode?  

    Then Winnie and Kevin break up for like the 20th time.  And Kevin punches out the big, muscular lifeguard who’s currently dating Winnie.  It’s totally out of character.  Kevin has been a giant pussy up until now.  He’s lost every fight.  But now he’s knocking guys out who are twice his size.

    Then he loses his car in a poker game with some Mexican guys who aren’t really Mexican.  That’s another weird part of this episode.  Why didn’t they just hire Mexican actors to portray members of this mariachi or whatever band?  I think it was done for comedy purposes.  Like they’re supposed to be fake Mexicans.  But it’s weird.

    So Kevin storms out and decides to walk home.  How far away is it?  I don’t know.  But apparently he’s going to walk.  With no map.  I assume that he knows the way and it’s not too far.

    But then he decides to hitchhike.  And a kindly old couple pick him up.  And wouldn’t you know it?  Winnie is in the back seat.  She was fired because Kevin punched that guy out.  So she was also hitchhiking?  It doesn’t make sense.  How does this all happen so quickly?  And then what are the odds that he’d be in the same car as Winnie?  It’s just bad writing.  Really bad writing.

    So they have a fight and the old couple kicks them out of the car in another zany, comedic, sound effect laden way. 

    Winnie throws Kevin’s bag into the road.  Why?  Then Kevin does the same to Winnie’s suitcase.  Again, no reason.   Nobody would ever do this.  But they had to do it to advance the lame as fuck plot.  A truck then runs over both bags in a slapstick fashion.  You hear some “zip, whoop pow” sound effects as it rolls over the bags.  

    Then it suddenly rains like it only does in bad comedies.  So they go hide in a barn and some more deeply improbable shit happens and he ends up fucking her in the ass.

    It’s just awful.  It’s an awful finale.  Clearly rushed.  But the entire last three seasons were bad.  

    I mean, some of my favourite episodes are from the last three seasons.  I prefer Kevin when he’s older and has those different friends.  Chuck has always been my favourite character.  I saw him in a commercial or something and liked him for that reason.  I just thought it was cool that I saw him in a commercial.  And watching it now, he’s a good character and good actor.

    But the change to this Three Stooges bullshit with the sound effects and the kooky fantasy sequences and whatnot was a bad move.  Not that the show was ever realistic by any means but I prefer the tone of the first three seasons.  

    So that’s the Wonder Years.  I’m so *nostalgic* for it.  As a series, it’s not in the league of such greats as MASH or Cheers or Seinfeld or even Golden Girls.  But it’s definitely better than Home Improvement or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air or Full House or any of this complete dreck.  

    I’d say it’s on par with maybe Roseanne (especially considering the terrible final few seasons of that show).  Maybe Friends (although I didn’t like Friends, I can appreciate the quality).  Going back a bit, maybe The Cosby Show or even something as unremarkable as Family Ties.  

  • GamerGrrls Merch

    (edit 14/02/21: NEW MERCH STORE!  DIFFERENT STUFF!  DIFFERENT PRICES!  Now go to http://www.redbubble.com/people/gamergrrls/shop )

    Hey guys!  Over the past year or however long I’ve been doing this, a lot of people have been asking, “How can we give you money?  I really want to give you money.  Can I give you money somehow?”  I’d always refuse.  I don’t need the money.  This is just for fun.  

    But it’s not all about me.  I know that some people just love giving money to people on the internet.   

    So now you can get heirloom quality GamerGrrls mugs delivered right to your door.  No need to leave your home and risk getting that awful coronavirus.  Contact-free delivery. 

    And they’re priced to move.  Only £13.55 – £13.58 each.  Why the range?  I don’t know.  I set the same price for all of them.  I think it’s a really poor implementation of exchange rates.  It’s based on the euro price, and it’s actually a pretty accurate exchange rate.  Not the usual price gouging that one gets in the UK. But I don’t know why some are a few pennies more than others.

    But it’s $14.99 in the US and €14.99 in the euro zone community.  I think that they ship anywhere, but if you’re not using US dollars or euros, it will probably be some weird price like what they did for British pounds.

    Dollar price same as euro price, though.  I guess that’s about right.  $14.99 is €12.23 at the moment but I think the euro prices are inclusive of VAT.  VAT is, whatever, 20% so that’s $14.67.  Yeah.  It’s about the same.

    What?  You also have to pay a £0.53 “handling fee”.  Sounds like some bullshit to me.  Oh.  That’s only for non-US buyers.  Something to do with alleged fees that Teespring gets charged for non-US payments.  

    Anyway, if anyone actually does buy anything, I’m splitting the profits 50/50 with the artist grrl who made these.  Some of that female empowerment.  That’s what I’m all about.

    If this is a success, I envision GamerGrrls waifu pillows, GamerGrrls erotic novels, GamerGrrls customised retro controllers.  The list is endless.  

  • PELVIC GAMING 2020 – Pelvic Gaming

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqQ-fFHNaJM

    She actually looks almost normal for once.  Maybe this was a New Year’s resolution.  No more blue lipstick.  I’m all for it.

    0:45 – She’s taking January off and will return in mid to late February.  How will we cope?  Now what am I going to do when I’m completely tapped out for shit to write about?  

    1:15 – “Because of the rona, I lost my job.”

    I’m sympathetic but this is the second time in this video that she said “the rona”.  I don’t know.  Kind of annoying.  I guess.

    1:30 – “I also got older family members who got sick because of what was going on.  Thankfully, they made a full recovery.”

    I still don’t know anybody who got it.  And when I hear these stories, it’s always about people who recovered.  You know…like when you get the flu.  Sure, some people die from the flu but the recovery rate is at least 99%.

    Nobody is afraid of the flu.  But the whole world gets shut down for coronavirus.  You know…that virus that gives you flu-like symptoms.  And has a flu-like mortality rate.  When do people stop putting up with this bullshit?

    3:00 – “Youtube is a mini-Hollywood”.

    This is the second time that she said this and I still don’t know what she means.  I think that she explained what she meant but to be honest, I’m tuning in and out of this shit.

    Then she starts singing the praises of Peanutbutter Gamer.  She did a “collab” with him.  It’s some fucking gay man who makes really camp videos about video games.

    She also shouts out some people I’ve never heard of.  Two gamer guys and a gamer grrl..  

    4:45 – “I reached $500/month on Patreon so woo”.

    It’s just sad on so many levels.  From the horndogs being taken advantage of to the low amount of money she’s getting.  I mean, it’s not a free $500/month.  She’s putting work in.  Kind of.  Playing these games and making videos about them.  And she seems to spend a lot of time talking to these losers on Discord and whatever.  That has to be painful.    

    For five hundred bucks a month?  Plus, you have to embarrass yourself week after week with these videos.  Minimum wage in Florida is $8.65/hour.  She could get $500 in 60 hours.  I don’t know.  That is a lot of work.  

    5:15 – “For my birthday, I always put up my wishlist and I promote it a little bit.”

    Yeah, this is totally unethical.  “Buy me stuff for my birthday, you fucking pathetic, horny losers.”  It’s disgusting.

    “But holy shit, you guys came through.  You cleaned out my wish list entirely.”

    She’s talking about her Amazon wish list, by the way.  These pathetic losers who have never had a girlfriend in their lives and never will have a girlfriend bought her this shit.  And she doesn’t see anything wrong with this.

    6:00 – Now she’s reading ass-licking comments about her blue lipstick and whatnot.  I’m not even joking.  The first comment is about how awesome her blue lipstick was.

    The second comment is somebody giving a mild rebuke to a video of hers and she gives an angry reply telling him to unsub.  

    These fucking pathetic gamer grrls love taking money and gifts from the horndogs but if there’s even the slightest bit of criticism, they can’t handle it.  

    7:30 – She reads a three paragraph DEEPLY ass-licking message.  Not surprisingly, she agrees with the commentator.

    What I like about this part of the video is that the message is so long, it covers Pelvic Gamer’s face.

    This just keeps going.  She’s reading comments that are praising her and she whole heartedly agrees with all of them.  This is just really sad.  What a needy, pathetic loser.

    She ends the video with a kiss.  We’re supposed to be jerking off to this.  Wait…let me check…no.  Totally flaccid.  Am I watching these videos wrong?  Maybe I should see a doctor.

    – “Lady Pelvic, I just wanted to praise you for all the hard work and love you put in your videos, and just like you said: your passion. I couldn’t say it any better; your passion and enthusiasm really shines through your videos and it’s very infectious. I love how honest you are, whether I particularly agree with you or not on a game I respect your opinion and really love how you go about justifying your point, and you’ve made me see games I played in such a different light/perspective so many times I just appreciate the way you structure your videos. Keep up the great work! Enjoy your recharge time, you certainly deserve it!”

    She “hearted” that comment.  It’s pathetic.

    – “Enjoy your break! Congrats again in 30k.”

    Wait…why are you quoting that boring as fuck comment?

    Because it was written by boring as fuck Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.

    But yeah, all of these other comments, it’s just horny losers trying to outdo each other in terms of writing the most ass licking comment possible.  Long, tedious comments about how much they appreciate her hard work and/or her hair and or her blue lipstick.