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Zombie Gums Soup and Madilynn Paige
So Erin was cooking it up in her crock pot recently. Lentil soup. What the fuck? Even her soup choices are bafflingly terrible. Isn’t that a Jewish thing? Let me look this up.
Yeah. I think so. I’m seeing a lot of references to enjoying it on Shabbat Toldot, for example, whatever that is.
Why would this be the soup that she went for? Is she Jewish? Is lentil soup popular in California? Maybe it is. It seems the sort of froufrou bullshit that those types enjoy.
But does she understand that she lives in rural Pennsylvania or New Jersey now? How about a soup with some substance that real, rugged, hard-working men like Mike Matei can enjoy? Fucking lentil soup? Shove it up your ass, Erin.
Then somebody suggests that she try cooking chili. Yeah. What the fuck? That’s the obvious choice. And incredibly, Erin says, “I’ve actually never made chili lol. I probably should try it.”
What the fuck is Mike doing? Why is he with this woman? She can’t cook, she can’t hold a conversation, she’s a complete moron, she doesn’t share his interest in video games or anything else, they have nothing in common, and she’s annoying as fuck. Mike, there’s more to life than buttsex. Find somebody more suitable.
Never made chili. How is it possible? I know that it’s typically a dish that men make but she’s been living with this guy for how many years now? And you can still make your fucking gay ass versions of chili. Vegetarian chili, tofu, serve it over rice, I don’t give a shit. But she’s never bothered to do this.
So then the same guy replies with “They sell a small bag with spice mixes, masa and instructions. You have to add ground beef, stewed tomatoes and kidney beans.”
Yeah. I think that he’s talking about the Wick Fowler Two Alarm Chili Kit. I used to get it and it was the best chili I ever had. A few years ago, I was reading some complaints about the product. Apparently, they changed the ingredients. Lowered the amount of salt or something and people were complaining.
They don’t sell it in the UK. I considered importing it but never bothered. And you can just recreate the kit anyway. People have broken it down into the individual components. I never bothered doing that either, though. I just go with whatever shitty spice mixes are in the grocery store. I’ve tried multiple times using recipes and doing the spices myself and it always tastes…fine but not like chili. So I just use the shitty packages now for a bland but “at least it tastes like chili” experience.
I don’t get it. Mike is sitting there just collecting money from Twitch and letting the interest grow in his savings account from all of that money he made selling his stake in Cinemassacre to Screenwave. He has two cars. He lets her travel across the country to visit her parents twice a month. He has a second home that he keeps solely to store his Halloween decorations. And this bitch walks in and says, “Hey, would you like some lentil soup?” Why does he put up with it? What a disgusting way to repay all that he’s given her.
I’m reminded of the time when Erin disclosed that she considers candy apples to be some kind of rare delicacy and Mike, incredulous, said that he’s probably eaten a thousand candy apples. I talk about it here:
What has she been doing with her life? Never made chili. Never ate a candy apple.
And when are we going to get a fucking update on her zombie gums? I fear never. She’s ways past due for her promised update. I think that because I wrote about it, I shamed her into dropping the subject. Thank fuck, frankly. Somebody had to do it. NOBODY wants to hear about that disgusting bullshit. Why didn’t Mike say something? “Honey, I know you’re excited about your zombie gums but maybe some things can remain private.” Simple. Problem solved.
No wonder Mike seems to always eat out. Fucking lentil soup? And just in a crock pot. Everything tastes the same coming out a crock pot. But it’s a zero effort way to cook which is perfect for old Zero Effort Erin aka Zombie Gums Erin.
In non-soup news, I’m still holding a vigil for Madilynn Paige. She still hasn’t logged onto her Model Mayhem page. It’s been over a month and she used to visit it regularly. I’m getting more and more convinced that she’s the person who Newt so callously mentioned died shortly after shooting that reprehensible Amityville Pool Toy Massacre movie.
She presumably killed herself. And I can’t believe that Newt is just cranking out his usual bullshit videos about soda and the like and tweeting about other prostitutes who he knows. And his response in the video was appalling. “Hey, she had other problems. I’m not bothered. This isn’t on me.”
This is somebody who he paraded around as his new “muse” FOR MONTHS and tried to include her in all of his shitty projects that never go anywhere. All just to get back at Horseface. And then she was apparently a bitch during the filming of this “movie.” I’m sure that she was. But Newt knew that she was a horrible person going in. I certainly pointed it out a billion times.
I’m not going to pretend that Miss Paige was a good person. She was an AWFUL person. Absolutely horrible. Annoying, self-centered, obsessed with swindling money from retards, a conwoman, a user of people, completely without morals. But I still feel bad about what I wrote about her, especially if she really did kill herself. Anybody would. But not Newt. Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks and he did way more than write blog articles about this woman.
Newt paid this woman for sex. He put her in his shitty “movies”. He used her to try to make Horseface jealous. And then when she was “difficult” “on set”, he made fun of her in his shitty Youtube videos about how she considers herself to be Meryl Streep.
This is a woman who was living a completely deluded existence. Masquerading as a hot chick, trying to earn money from her appearance, and looking like…that. It’s something that we see all the time. Horseface is the same. Johanna from Hack the Movies. This disturbing woman who Newt recently tweeted about:
“FunCoupleVegas”? No thank you, madam. Leave me out of your “fun.”
It must be difficult. It must take a toll on you mentally. You’re trying to be a hot chick, you have all of these pictures out there, and people are saying, “This is fucking gross. What are you thinking?” But instead of getting a job like a normal person and stopping that shit, they just continue. They continue with this delusion that they’re hot chicks, feeding on the compliments of literal retards. It’s not a healthy way to conduct your life.
And they end up doing these things in communities where the bar for hot chicks is lower. So horror shit, retro video games, nerd topics. These women gravitate to these communities because that’s their level. They’re preying on retards.
So it’s disgusting behaviour from the women as well. I’m not discounting that. But it’s also sad. There has to be some measure of pity along with the condemnation. It can’t be easy when a non-retard sees your pictures and says, “What on earth are you doing?” Getting shaken into reality can be a jarring and difficult experience when you’ve surrounded yourself with sycophantic retards for so long.
And Miss Paige in particular REALLY leaned into the nerd shit AND the horror shit. Her profile is full of references about how much she loves Dungeons & Dragons, for example. The woman never played the game in her life but these are the people she’s going for. Giant nerds who play Dungeons & Dragons and are just happy to see ANY woman.
So what can we learn from this? How can we avoid these terrible situations in the future? Well, for one thing, Newt needs to stop his disgusting behaviour of dragging desperate prostitutes onto his channel and exploiting them. No amount of prostitutes is going to get Horseface back, you asshole. Just stop it.
Those shitty “movies” that never get released have to stop. All of this. Do something constructive with your life, Newt. You have zero talent for this and people are fucking killing themselves as a result.
And people like Horseface and Johanna…somebody needs to sit them down and have some kind of “you’re not a hot chick” intervention. It’s not an easy thing to say but you could be saving lives by doing this. Go there with a list of jobs and hobbies that these people could do instead. Praise their good qualities. It might be a little difficult with Horseface but there must be something.
As for that woman in Las Vegas, that’s a more difficult situation. I assume that she’s being manipulated by her husband/pimp.
Anyway, it’s unfortunate. I’m going to go order some lentil soup from a gas station now.
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Swamp Zombie 2’s Big Australian Premiere
This is just sad. I’m surprised that he uploaded this. Although, he did bury it in the “shorts” section.
It’s a handful of old drunks in a cinema. I think that he’s showing the totality of the audience at 0:23. About seven people.
Then some old skank, no offense to this lady but it’s true, says “Hey Newt. Thanks for the great movie. I love that shit. And look…my shirt…awesome…and I (drunken inaudibles)” and then she makes a zombie motion.
But she shows the shirt…and the guy filming laughs…but…what’s the significance of the shirt? I think it says “Bauhaus”. Only the “Bau” is visible. Is this a movie or something? Or is she expressing her fondness for Weimer Republic art movements?
Oh, I looked it up. It’s some old English band that did horror shit.
How is that connected to Newt, though? I think that she just wanted to show her tits.
Then it moves to the host of this little event. It’s hard to understand but I think that her name is Sucky the Sucklicious Spectre. I’m not joking. She’s some overweight goth chick, as is typical. And she gives the most generic endorsement possible.
“I absolutely loved…(panicking)…this film.”
SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE NAME OF THE MOVIE. She’s never seen it and she’s not going to see it. It reminded me of this:
Krusty saying, “I heartily endorse this event or product.”
Then the guy filming just screams as the woman shakes her fat tits and the video ends abruptly.
It’s fucking hilarious.
How could he upload this? Does he think that this makes him or his shitty film look at all impressive? This was just part of some stupid “indy” horror film thing that some cinema in Perth was running for the local elderly, drunk community.
And the above video is what was apparently played before the screening of this shitty movie. Newt gave us a “tease” of this intro before but now we can watch it in all its glory. I already talked about the first two minutes and twenty seconds here:
So we start at 2:20. It turns out that he stopped the video there, which was mid-word, because his cat knocked over the tripod. And then rather than reshoot anything, he just left all of this shit in there. Why bother putting effort into anything?
2:45 – Newt talks about the various films that he plagiarised from to make this shitty movie. Escape from New York, Robocop, Gremlins 2. “I wanted to make the anti-sequel.”
I have no idea what that means, Newt. Is plagiarising what an “anti-sequel” is?
He does this all the time. Every script or whatever that he shit out in a day is always described as “(Movie A) combined with (Movie B).” He’s completely incapable of coming up with his own ideas. The fucking Ideas Man over here.
I’m bored out of my mind. I’ve been watching for three minutes. So five minutes into the video. This is going on waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Twelve minutes of this rambling bullshit?
6:00 – Shout out to old Horseface. God. Like anybody there gives a fuck about Newt’s obsession over his ex-girlfriend.
6:30 – He talks about how the movie was only made as an excuse to spend time with “friends” by which he means Horseface. I think that this is like the third time that he’s mentioned this so far.
7:00 – Newt says that he had a premiere of Swamp Zombies 2 in Philadelphia and his father was there and said that he was proud of him. Newt is obsessed with his parents saying that they’re proud of him and/or that they love him. It’s pathetic. Who gives a shit? Why does he keep talking about this? Why would he mention this in this intro video to the movie? Nobody wants to hear about his psychological hangups over Horseface or his parents. Just show the fucking piece of shit movie.
And my god, imagine showing this “tits and gore” trash to your parents and then your father saying, “Stay the course, Newt. I’m proud of you.”
This is his father who he hasn’t spoken to in YEARS because his father voted for Trump, by the way.
Oh look at this. Apparently his father said, “You were really funny and there’s tits in it.”
The retard apple doesn’t seem to fall far from the retard tree. What a wholesome family story that is.
8:00 – “I used to be on another Youtube show that was popular and people used to send me copies to sign.”
Newt obsessed over getting from Screenwave for wholesale plagiarism.
Newt then talks about a prostitute he was with at a hotel. Totally unneccessary but this is what he does. He wants people to think that he’s some lady’s man.
9:30 – “The people who still talk to me who were part of this movie…”
YET ANOTHER Horseface reference. I can’t believe that nobody who knows this guy is begging him to stop this shit and go get help. He’s embarassing himself every fucking day with this shit.
This thing just keeps going. Shut the fuck up, Newt.
11:45 – “I got to kiss a really attractive girl.”
Horseface. He’s talking about Horseface again. No wonder she moved 1000 miles away. This guy is fucking insane and probably dangerous.
Absolutely terrible video. I finally made it to the end. This bizarre, whiny piece of shit played for TWELVE MINUTES before the movie began. How many people got up and left? You started with 7 people in the audience and maybe only three stuck around for the movie to start.
This guy doesn’t have a fucking clue how to behave. Who would release a video like that to be played before a movie begins? The cat knocks the camera down, he’s just talking off the cuff, and it’s full of bizarre references to his psychological hangups. This is how you want to present yourself?
There was that horrible video he made where his “friend” recently died and all he could talk about is how awesome it was to fuck her up the ass. Absolutely shocking. But this is what he does and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
Madilynn Paige dies recently. Presumably from suicide. This is somebody who Newt was promoting CONSTANTLY a couple of years ago, trying to get back at Horseface. She kills herself after making a movie with Newt. She clearly had addiction problems and was a prostitute.
Newt literally says, “I don’t feel bad about it. It’s not on me.” The old James Rolfe, “I’m sorry even though I didn’t do it” but minus the apology.
He’s a sick, demented, subhuman, piece of shit.
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Metz is back aka RIP Madilynn Paige – Newt Wallen
Yeah. We know. She was in a recent review of some movie called Sinners. I wrote about it but it was soooooooooooo fucking boring that I just ended up talking about PVC Bondage Guy’s odd passion for Rammstein and comparing German to Dutch. These weren’t topics that they were discussing, it was just me trying to get through the video. So I deleted the article before it was posted.
0:00 – “Apparently, people in the comments think that you and I aren’t friends any more.”
Newt seems puzzled by this. Let me give you a clue, Ideas Man. It’s from the video that I discuss here:
In said video, you talk REPEATEDLY about somebody not talking to you any more because of some shit you said about them in yet another video. And the video that’s being referenced, which has since been removed, had you talking with PVC Bondage Guy.
Newt is at pains to never reveal who he’s talking about. I theorized that he was talking about Fallon, which I now don’t believe is true because he’s talked about her since then and seems to be talking to her about the fate of Sucks 2 Suck, for example. But it’s reasonable for somebody to assume that the person you were talking about was PVC Bondage Guy because that’s the video that you removed. And you never stated who it was who isn’t talking to you any more so it invites speculation. He must have mentioned this woman who doesn’t talk to him any more 15 fucking times in that Self-INflicted (sic) video, although obviously not by name.
Fucking Ideas Man. Fucking Idiot Man.
0:30 – PVC Bondage Guy says that she’s moving to New Jersey. Good for her. Get out of that hobbit basement apartment that she’s sharing with some random Mexican guy, apparently. Hopefully, it’s a better apartment and situation.
“And I live in…well, I live in where I’ve been recording.”
More vague nonsense from the self-proclaimed Ideas Man. This is where the confusion arises, you fucking retard. He’s so used to talk about “the Redhead” and “the Italian” and “that place that I used to work at” that he doesn’t even know how to speak clearly any more. Everything has to be coded bullshit. What is somebody who’s just coming into the videos going to take away from any of this? It’s going to be completely indecipherable.
Anyway, thank fuck that PVC Bondage Guy is wearing a normal fucking shirt for once. It’s some horror shit or a band or something but at least it’s a shirt.
1:45 – “We still talk almost every week, mostly through sharing memes.”
Well, that’s riveting. Why does PVC Bondage Guy even put up with this shit? I’d block him for spam. It’s complete zero effort trash. Try speaking like a human being, you asshole.
“We had somebody in our Discord pass away.”
I wonder if Newt tweeted about this. I don’t think that he made the cut. You have to be a celebrity to earn a retweet by Newt. Any celebrity. He retweets every dead celebrity he can find.
So he mentions that for two seconds and then laughs and moves on to the next topic. This is how much Newt cares about his legions of fans. “So this guy died. Haha. Anyway, moving on, something funny happened at work.”
Oh, and no makeup for PVC Bondage Guy. This video is much more watchable than usual. Oh, and in that deleted article, I suggested that PVC Bondage Guy start wearing traditional German dresses like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music in respect to her passion for German language and culture. I think they’re called “dirndls”.
And the funny thing that happened to Newt is that somebody he used to work with got engaged. Umm…what? If there’s more to the story, he didn’t share it. It was just, “Oh, somebody we used to work with got engaged. Isn’t that a scream?”
No, Newt. What’s funny about matrimony? We’re just supposed to know. More vague bullshit that nobody can possibly appreciate. WE DON’T KNOW YOUR CO-WORKERS, NEWT. EXPLAIN WHY IT’S FUNNY.
2:45 – “Somebody in one of the shitty comments was like, ‘I keep trying to find people to hang out with me because Metz doesn’t talk to me any more’”
You invited the comments by making that pathetic video where you begged forgiveness from an unnamed person who very well could have been Metz. Stop the vague bullshit and maybe people will understand what’s going on, you fucking retard.
And are people really leaving “shitty comments”? Are they leaving ANY comments? I’ve not seen any comments critical of the Ideas Man ever. He presumably deletes them. Newt must be getting LOADS of “negative” comments just from those no-lifers on Reddit.
And in any event, he IS trying to find somebody to replace PVC Bondage Guy. He always has to have some skank in the video because he thinks that’s what people want to see. He’s said this very thing many times before. He’s said that people don’t want to watch videos where it’s just him. He’s said that people are only watching the videos for PVC Bondage Guy. That’s why he has this rotating crop of prostitutes that he brings in.
3:15 – “We shots two videos with…with the one girl and she didn’t like…she didn’t realise that a conversation with me goes in the way that it goes.”
You really paint a picture, Newt. WHO IS THIS PERSON? YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
4:30 – Now he’s talking about Amber, one of the prostitutes he hires, and how she’s a mother and has a respectable job and how she was uncomfortable with some videos she made with him. They said stuff that she didn’t want released. But then Newt says that she just went with it and didn’t ask for the video to be edited, like some other (un-named) prostitute did.
He goes on to say, “She’ll call me…I was going to say what she was doing but I’m not going to. She’s ‘relaxing’ on a Saturday night and she’ll call me and then we’ll wind up talking for three or four hours.”
This is the mother with the responsible job that you’re talking about? What is he suggesting that she’s doing? Drinking? Drugs? Masturbating? Whatever it is, it’s not something that a mother with a respectable job would want people to know about. But fucking retard Ideas Man is just putting this shit out there. Yet again.
This is the same bullshit that caused him to upload the groveling apology video to some unnamed prostitute who he was talking about. And in that apology video, he went on and on and on about how he’s seeing a psychiatrist over this and he wants to figure out why he keeps doing this. Why he keeps putting his prostitute “friends” on blast in the videos that he makes.
JUST STOP IT, YOU FUCKING SELF-OBSESSED CRETIN. But he says this stuff because he wants the horntards to know about all of the prostitutes who he’s talking to. He thinks that this is something to boast about. And he doesn’t care that these boasts make these women uncomfortable. He only cares about himself. That’s the root of all of his problems. He lacks any empathy for anybody.
6:30 – “For like a week when I changed my medication, I was so constipated.”
He says this right after PVC Bondage Guy talks about her friend having a ten pound baby. I know where this is going. What a pile of shit Newt is. He’s comparing his “friend” PVC Bondage Guy’s story about her friend having a baby to himself having a bowel movement. Everything has to be about Newt. Newt, just shut the fuck up and listen to what PVC Bondage Guy is saying. You don’t have to interject with your own revolting, inappropriate, and self-obsessed stories all of the time.
Fortunately, PVC Bondage Guy completely ignored the comment. I’ve never been prouder of PVC Bondage Guy. She didn’t entertain that shit for one second. She just continued with her story. Fuck Newt. Take a laxative and shut the fuck up.
15:15 – PVC Bondage Guy says, “I didn’t know I was coming over tonight. I was super late for work and I didn’t call ahead or whatever so they were like, ‘We’re going to send you home. See you next shift.’”
PVC Bondage Guy isn’t the dynamic go-getter that I thought she was. Not only was she “super late”, she didn’t even bother calling. Why was she late anyway? I’m surprised that she didn’t get fired. This is probably a normal thing for her. It goes to show what kind of job it is. They can’t afford to fire anybody. It’s a job that nobody wants due to a combination of low-pay and the drudgery of the work.
15:30 – This is Newt talking now. “Last Saturday I worked at night because I had a funeral during the day.”
I wonder if he tweeted about the person who died. Or during the funeral, did he give a eulogy about all of the buttsex that he and the recently deceased engaged in? And then tried to pick up Horseface?
Newt says that his boss is also his landlord. Who would want that? If you lose the job, you’re also going to lose your home. Plus, the guy knows how much Newt is making and how much he can charge in rent. If Newt ever stops paying rent for whatever reason, the guy can just deduct it from his salary. Not that any of this stuff is legal but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. I wouldn’t want to give this much power to somebody. Just find your own fucking place.
17:30 – PVC Bondage Guy is talking about her failing health and isn’t sure if it’s because of age (she’s in her late 20s) or because of wrestling. Well, have you considered the possibility that it might be because you’ve DOUBLED IN SIZE in the past six months or so?
Anyway, PVC Bondage Guy then talks about movies that she’s seen recently.
What about Das Boot? I was watching it again a few months ago. I watched the German version and then the English version and then the extended version, which I think was in German. The actors all recorded their lines in both German and English, which is nice.
PVC Bondage Guy and I should be language study buddies. I wonder if she’s on DuoLingo. We could encourage each other. “Like” our stupid “achievements.” I just have the free DuoLingo and I have the free version of Memrise too but I have the paid version of Busuu, which I find…umm…it’s fine, I guess. It gives you the reasons behind the grammar and whatnot, which DuoLingo doesn’t do, but to be honest I sometimes don’t even read the explanations.
I was watching an interview with Karl Dönitz, Grand Admiral of the German navy in World War II, and he seemed like a stand up guy. From all accounts, the German navy behaved impecably, as opposed to, for example, the US navy who fired on lifeboats and the like.
22:00 – Newt is talking about disgusting violent films that he saw recently. Perhaps Newt can share some interesting trivia about World War II as well. Shadows on smokestacks and whatnot.
30:00 – PVC Bondage Guy says that her wrestling name is Red Velvet Cake. What? First of all, there’s already a wrestler called Red Velvet. Who came up with this name? Newt “The Plagiarising Man” Wallen?
But secondly, why such a feminine name for PVC Bondage Guy, who’s so clearly a MAN? Play up to your macho image. She worked in a bowling alley. Can we do something with that? Famous bowlers…Pete Weber…umm…and there’s…Pete Weber. Brand names…oh, Brunswick. That’s a good name. Big Brunswick. Illustrates her large, hard nature, like the bowling ball.
Instead, she’s up there in a dress doing the ring announcing. What the fuck? Why isn’t she standing up for herself? “Hey, I’m a guy. Enough of this girly bullshit.”
34:00 – PVC Bondage Guy has been talking about all of the shit that she did for her recent birthday but her eyes light up when she mentioned a sushi place near to her new home that has a buffet. She’ll be putting them out of business soon.
Then Newt mentions that Horseface’s family lives near to where PVC Bondage Guy’s new home is. PVC Bondage Guy isn’t interested and claims that she wouldn’t even recognise Horseface. Really? I’d recognise Horseface. How could you not? She’s the woman in half a top with that face. I guess that PVC Bondage Guy isn’t watching any stuff from Tony from Hack the Movies or going to Horseface’s self-absorbed Twitter.
36:15 – Newt is talking about, I think, the filming of Amityville Pool Toy Massacre, but, again, he’s always vague. “We had a person on set who we had a very, very difficult time with and then we found out that they passed away. And I don’t feel bad about it because there was a lot of other factors going on there and I was very friendly and very open before that whole thing happened. So it’s like, this ain’t on me.”
Then he finishes by joking about what a “rough weekend” that was and how it threw off his “ph balance.” About this person who died, presumably by suicide.
I think that he’s talking about what’s her name, that crack addict. Again, no names are given and he keeps it vague but he’s talked about this difficult person on the set before and I always assumed it was the crack addict.
I found it. Madilynn Paige.
https://allmylinks.com/madilynnminx
Her TikTok is gone.
Instagram is restricted.
https://www.modelmayhem.com/MandiMinx
She was last on her Model Mayhem page on 29 March.
She was definitely on Twitter but I can’t find her page now. But in this article, Newt removed a video with this woman.
Oh, I found it.
https://twitter.com/Madilynn_Paige_/
Tweets are protected.
So I’m saying it was Madilynn Paige, this woman who Newt constantly paraded around as a substitute for Horseface for a while. She killed herself shortly after shooting this reprehensible “tits and gore” movie with Newt. And then Newt doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about it and says, “Hey, it’s not my fault. I was nice to that whore.”
Where’s that article where she was with her friend in front of a Chinese restaurant?
That blonde woman was also in this pool toy movie, I believe. Her name is Kaity Navi McAllister. She’s on TikTok and hasn’t posted since October of last year.
So maybe it was her who died. I don’t know. Newt intentionally leaves all of this shit vague and then gets upset when people speculate. What are we supposed to think, Ideas Man? You tell us that somebody you recently “worked” with died, you seem to give zero shits about it, and you don’t bother to say who it is. People are going to wonder. Not many people, because who the fuck is watching your shitty videos, but I’m watching and I’m wondering. And I think it’s completely deplorable how you treated this Madilynn woman, who clearly had addiction issues and was a prostitute, you paraded her around as your new “muse” to try to get back at Horseface, and then when she kills herself all you can say is, “Oopsies. Well, she probably had other problems too.”
Fuck you, you complete fucking piece of shit. He didn’t even bother to re-tweet anything about her death.
Then he just immediately starts talking about the next “tits and gore” film that he’s planning on shooting. It’s completely deplorable. Whether it’s Madilynn Paige or not, SOMEBODY died recently from this shitty pool toy “movie”, presumably by suicide, and he doesn’t give the slightest of fucks. It’s unbelievable. He’s the worst human being in the world. He has to be.
38:00 – After PVC Bondage Guy jokes about appearing on Hack the Movies, she says that she’s been calling off of work and wrestling a lot recently just…because she’s moving. You can do that? I’ve moved 50 times. Never missed a day of work because of it.
39:00 – Shoutout to me calling Newt’s “friends” “prostitutes”.
47:30 – Newt talks about going to a funeral again. Maybe he’s talking about Madilynn Paige’s funeral.
So that’s the video. Since these videos seem to be mostly for my benefit these days, I look forward to the passive-aggressive follow up video, based on this article, where he actually says who died. Can I suggest that you fake a little attrition as well, Ideas Man?
I’d also like to hear what attracted PVC Bondage Guy to Rammstein. I get it from an ideological perspective. I knew some skinheads in high school who liked Rammstein. But I’m 20 years older than PVC Bondage Guy. Aren’t there any more contemporary German bands that she can enjoy?
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I’m In A Weird Place – PushingUpRoses – *WARNING* narcissism trigger
0:00 – “Welcome to a different type of a video.”
What are you talking about? Every time I go to this fucking channel, she has some bullshit video where she’s drawing disgusting shit and talking about her mental health her “meds” and how unattractive she is but oh please go to my OnlyFans.
By the way, this video is a “fundraiser”. For her own narcissism. That’s what she’s raising funds for. And unbelieveably, she got $788 for this vile, self-obsessed bullshit.
She’s drawing a disgusting picture of a person with a crooked neck and blood spurting out, by the way. And it’s REALLY amateur. She can’t even fucking draw. This is a professional artist. Does she still do that spin “art”? Let me check.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/DysmorphicArt
There’s her self-obsessed Etsy page. She last sold some terrible spin “art” in December so that wasn’t that long ago. But nothing is available now.
And her Instagram is just revolting pictures of herself with the odd terrible and disgusting drawing.
0:15 – “Don’t worry, this isn’t a drama or a ‘T’ video.”
What? What’s a “T video”? Did I mishear her?
“I just really feel the need to express myself and reflect on some of the branching paths that my life has formed lately.”
You couldn’t do that without the scam fundraising? And I’m looking at the sidebar where this allegedly goes to a suicide prevention charity. Hopefully, Youtube deals with all of that directly, otherwise you know it’s just going into PushingUpRoses’ pocket and then she’s gorging herself on Twinkies with that money.
Do they even make Twinkies any more? I always hated them. Zingers were clearly superior.
It seems that Twinkied were briefly unavailable in 2012 when Hostess declared bankruptcy but they’re back now. I don’t get it. Who’s eating that shit? Zingers are still sold. I only liked the vanilla ones. Apparently, Hostess makes those too.
0:30 – “After many years, I found out that I have BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder.”
Well, great. But this shouldn’t be confused with her “BDD” or “Body Dysmorphic Disorder.” These acronyms are all getting complicated: BPD, BDD, IBS.
Oh, and the last time I talked about PushingUpRoses, she was talking endlessly about some boyfriend. I guarantee that guy’s no longer in the picture.
0:45 – “It does explain why I keep relapsing with addition issues.”
What addiction issues? Addicted to that deep dish pizza. For her own safety, she’s been banned from Pizzeria Uno.
“I feel like I don’t know who I am.”
A self-absorbed bitch. I just saved you thousands of dollars in therapy bills.
Oh, by the way, there as no “trigger warning” for any of this. That’s something that these self-absorbed types usually plaster all over their shit. She’s talking about suicide and these drawings are absolutely disgusting and suggestive of suicide but that’s alright. No concern for her audience, which I have to assume includes other self-obsessed “Look at me, aren’t I crazy” types because these sort of people tend to find each other.
2:00 – “I’m not ashamed of having mental issues.”
No shit. You revel in it. It’s your entire identity. If a therapist ever said, “Eh, you’re fine” it would destroy you.
3:30 – “Addiction does run in my family and it goes between drugs, alcohol, gambling, and food.”
I’m guessing mostly food.
“My sister struggles with a gambling addiction.”
Oh, I’m sure she appreciates you sharing that. Her sister is down at the casino slumped over a slot machine when suddenly her phone blows up with messages from friends and family. “Did you see your sister’s latest self-obsessed video? Do you have a gambling addiction? Do you need help?” Then her sister throws her bucket of tokens down in disgust and says, “God damn it. I just came here to get away from that lunatic for a few hours.”
Actually, do they still use tokens in casinos? I don’t think so. I think it’s all done by cards nowadays. I worked in casinos back in the day and there would be Chinese people who would put “slugs” in the machines. Fake tokens. Those wacky Chinese. Good food, though.
Then PushingUpRoses goes on and on about how her sister would borrow money and lie about its purpose and then go to the casino with the money. What the fuck? Keep this shit to yourself.
4:15 – She starts talking about Amy Winehouse and empathizing with her alleged mental illness.
Amy Winehouse will always hold a special place in my heart as the only celebrity death I ever relished. She was in the news CONSTANTLY and she was annoying as fucking shit. You couldn’t get away from it. And then when she died, I was elated. “I never have to see or hear anything about this woman ever again.” It was a dream come true.
I’m sympathetic and all. She may have had problems and she’s not responsible for the media’s bizarre obsession over her but I can’t deny that I was delighted when she died. One of the best days of my life.
5:30 – Now she’s talking about her “career” by which she means her “art”, her “writing”, and editing her Youtube videos. She wonders if she’ll do that five years from now.
Isn’t she saving any money? How much money is she getting from her channel. Let’s check SocialBlade.
According to this, she’s making between $1,000 and $18,000 a year. I’ve read that the number in the middle is about right so she’s making $9,000 a year. That’s a lot less than I thought.
Well, just crank out some more spin “art”. I can’t find prices but I remember being at least a few hundred bucks each.
It seems that she’s been lowering the prices. Maybe she’s saturated the spin “art” market.
I don’t know what, if any, writing she’s doing and if she’s getting paid anything for it.
What about her OnlyFans then? Is that still an ongoing enterprise?
Eugh. Lamentably, yes. $8.50/month but her description SCREAMS, “Do not pay for this.” So I can’t imagine that there are many subscribers.
5:30 – Anyway, her new career path is…ceramics. She think that she’s going to make a fortune churning out little pots. She’s taking classes. It’s complete insanity. Have you considered filling out a job application at Dominick’s? They probably give you a staff discount on all food purchased there.
I just realised that this ceramics thing is similar to her spin “art”. Her spin “art” involves spinning a canvas on a wheel and dripping paint on the canvas. Ceramics also involves spinning the wheel. Maybe she just likes spinning things. What can she do with that? Whirling dervish? I doubt there’s much money in that. And she doesn’t have the stamina. Maybe she can just sit in an office chair and spin around, although who would pay for that “performance” is another question.
6:45 – Oh my god, look at these things. I don’t know art but I know crap. This is crap. Absolute rock bottom, amateur bullshit. These are two crudely made, crudely painted pieces of ceramic. And she wants people to PAY for this and she’s calling it “art”. These are student pieces. From a lousy student with no potential to improve. Just give this shit to your sister as a half-hearted apology for blasting her in this video. I’m not going to fucking pay for this. I could literally make better pieces than this. Not that I would. I have no fucking use for little ceramic cups.
7:30 – She’s talking about her OnlyFans. So this is all part of her “career” discussion.
She claims it was to “combat my body dysmorphic disorder” and “That has given me more strength than anything I’ve ever done.”
Is she looking at the same pictures that I saw? Some forum posted her pictures. You don’t want to see them. Let’s leave it at that.
“Sometimes I post extremely unflattering photos.”
Those must have been the ones that I saw. All of them. Can you keep the unflattering ones and just post the gems?
She claims to be the only person using OnlyFans for “unsexy purposes.”
Well, I can’t fault her for this one. She’s dead on. There wasn’t anything remotely sexy about these photos. But how does she plan to make money from this?
She claims that this is all part of her therapy. I’d like to have a word with this therapist to confirm if this indeed something that they suggested she do. Because I don’t think that any responsible therapist would say, “In order to treat your BDD, you’re going to have to post revolting pictures on OnlyFans.”
8:45 – Podcasting is another revenue stream that she’s exploring. Eugh. Come on. Nobody is going to listen to this. It’s with her “best friend” Matt and the podcast is called Save Your Game. Let’s look this up. I’m not expecting millions of subscribers.
They have 54 episodes and 712 subscribers. They’ve been doing this for a year. Their most recent video has 96 views. This is not making a penny.
The podcast, in case it needs to be said, is unlistenable. It’s audio only (thank god for small favours) but just…oh my god. The most recent episode starts with this guy (who is CLEARLY gay) in MID-SENTENCE. And the topics are complete shit.
9:00 – “It’s honestly been doing well.”
Are you serious?
“I can’t believe that there are thousands of people who want to listen to me talk about King’s Quest V.”
Maybe that’s a lost episode but the King’s Quest IV video has 260 views on Youtube. Maybe she’s doing gangbusters on Spotify or whatever but, inexplicably, it’s not having an impact on the Youtube channel.
9:15 – “We don’t make any money off of it.”
Indeed.
10:30 – Then she talks about some shitty ass game about feelings and depression…or something. Yeah, that’s what I want to play. Give me the depression simulator game.
11:00 – She’s talking about how society expects you to achieve certain things by certain ages and that you’re never too old to change careers.
But the “career” she’s talking about is this god awful ceramics. If she showed any promise whatsoever in this, I’d say go for it. But look at those fucking little cups. It reminds me of the shit I’d make in Cub Scouts.
This is somebody with no artistic talent. Her drawings are bad, her spin “art” is bad, and her ceramics are bad. Don’t spend any more time or money on this. Do it as a hobby, fine, but who’s going to pay for this complete shit? There are jobs out there. Find one. Enough of this delusional bullshit.
“If I start sculpting with clay now, maybe in 50 years, I will be a clay protegee.”
Yeah. Maybe. But what are you going to do in the meantime? How are you going to support yourself? And let’s be serious, with all of your weight and mental health issues, do you plan on living another 50 years? That’s extremely ambitious. Even her, “What am I going to do five years from now” question struck me as ambitious.
11:30 – She talks about her BlueSky account and that she’s done with Twitter. She’s sticking it to Elon Musk just like Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.
Apparently, she went to Mexico City recently. She also posted some revolting Frieda Kahlo paintings, perhaps from her trip. Where the fuck is she getting the money for these trips?
I can see the appeal of Frieda Kahlo. That mono-browed woman was also unattractive. But she at least had talent. PushingUpRoses is unattractive and has no talent.
Apparently, people are already bored of this AWFUL ceramics “content”. Why would I want to watch videos of a woman making shitty mugs? There’s no market in this.
She also posts pictures of her lunch.
So that’s the video. No mention of her boyfriend in the video or anywhere on Bluesky so that guy is long gone. She couldn’t fucking shut up about him. She just goes from one bad idea to the next, puts all of her effort into it, it ends up disasterous, and then she moves on to something else.
She’s going to get this pottery wheel and kiln, crank out some shitty ashtrays, and then move on to polka music. She’ll get an accordian, take some classes, realize that she’s shit at this, and then try something else.
Just put the effort into getting a job. I don’t get it. Are jobs that bad? If you start working at Burger King today, just think of how good you’ll be at grilling hamburgers 50 years from now. And they’ll PAY you for that experience. What’s the problem?
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NEWTrition Review : Gatorade Mashups – Newt Wallen
Finally, the Ideas Man stumbled onto an interesting topic.
The product is two flavours of Gatorade mixed together. Newt talks about how they should have put more thought into this and determine which ratios of which flavours would work best and which flavours complement each other and whatnot as opposed to what this product seems to be: two equal parts of two random flavours mixed together.
That’s fine and good. He’s right, I guess.
But I’m reminded of the greatest product I’ve ever seen: Doritos Collisions. They took two flavours of Doritos, flavours that never existed before, and put them in a bag. And it was sheer genius. I was stocking up on that shit, knowing that it’s a limited edition. Some of the combinations were spectacular but they were all worth getting. There wasn’t a bad one in the bunch.
Then it just disappeared. Why? You have a great product, the best food product of all time, why get rid of it? You can base your entire company around these Collisions.
And why did nobody pick up on the idea? It’s not like you can copyright the mixing of two flavours of tortilla chip in a single bag. Maybe somebody has. Let me look this up.
Well, I’m seeing hints that they returned last year, at least in Canada, with a pickle and cool ranch version. That doesn’t sound good. And cool ranch? That’s just a normal, already available flavour. And I don’t want pickle-flavoured Doritos. So that sounds terrible.
There’s Herr’s Flavor Mix. This looks promising. Red hot and honey BBQ, BBQ and salt & vinegar, and cheddar and sour cream. Is this an American company? Yeah, but this looks crazy expensive. I’m not paying seventy bucks for 24 tiny bags of custom chips, I’ll tell you that. That’s for the glutton who has everything.
Storm Chips are a Canadian thing that have four different flavours in each bag but they’re fucking thirty six dollars. Presumably Canadian dollars. Oh, you get eight bags for that price. How much is 284 grams? That sounds like a normal sized bag. Actually, twice the size of a normal bag. That might be reasonable, actually. Covered Bridge is the brand. Shipping might be a problem. And apparently, their manufacturing plant burned down last year and they’re outsourcing production now.
So Gatorade…I think that I might have had it once. Like the powdered mix. Maybe I had it in a bottle once too. I was interested in Gatorade, the green one was the only variety I remember being available for a long time, but I never drank any.
I have much more experience with Snapple. Mixed flavours…I can’t think of any that would be at all appealing. Maybe it doesn’t work with juices. I don’t know how much actual fruit juice is in a Snapple, though.
Soda could work, of course. Or as Newt is always at pains of saying, as he does in this video as well, “Or ‘pop’ depending on where you’re from.” He’s so cultured. He wants to be inclusive. I call it a “carbonated beverage.”
You could do this at soda fountains at restaurants but you run the risk of looking like a fool.
Oh, slushee-type machines would work for this. It’s probably more socially-acceptable to do this there as well, assuming it’s self-serve.
But whatever, Coke and…fucking…orange Fanta. Or what’s an American orange soda…Crush? Sunkist? God, I’ve forgotten.
Yeah, those are two still-existing carbonated beverages. Crush is owned by the people who make Dr Pepper. I always avoided Dr Pepper, just because the name is so fucking terrible. Who wants a pepper-flavoured soda? But then when I finally had one as an adult, it was vastly superior to Coke or Pepsi. The name is just off-putting. They don’t sell Dr Pepper in the UK that I’ve ever seen.
But yeah, I think using a cola-flavoured beverage as the base is the obvious choice and then you work from there. I don’t drink soda, though, so it’s not a particular interest of mine.
Horseface had a tweet that I wanted to talk about but I ended up deleting the post before uploading it because it didn’t meet my lofty standards. Let’s check out her Twitter.
Oh, she’s posting about WrestleMania. Not that she’s going, but she’s posting pictures of the WrestleMania that she went to last year where she made a complete horse’s ass of herself. I talk about that here:
She’s all about that grappling. What happened to her idea of going to a “WWE-like” (or something) wrestling school? What a great idea for a 40 year old woman to go to a wrestling school.
Who would win in a shoot: PVC Bondage Guy or Horseface? God, is it even a question? Even before PVC Bondage Guy doubled in size, she was fucking nuts. She’d go apeshit on Horseface. Pulling hair, scratching, eye gouging, who the fuck knows. I don’t think it would be much of a technical contest but I’m going with PVC Bondage Guy, no question. And now it’s a fucking big fat crazy chick going after you. That’s terrifying no matter who you are.
Oh, here’s the tweet that I wanted. Horseface is doing some fad diet. She doesn’t describe what it is because she just lives in her own narcissistic world. But it’s a fad TikTok diet called 75 Hard or Hard 75 or something where you choose a diet (any diet) and try to stick with it for 75 days. You also have to exercise for a certain length of time every day and drink a gallon of water every day and read ten pages of a book every day. It’s just some stupid shit that appeals to really vapid women like Horseface who want to think that they’re making some kind of improvement in their miserable lives.
So Horseface talks about licking bowls of food and counting calories. I don’t…get it. She has a bowl of, let’s say, corn chowder from a gas station, and it’s a certain number of calories, and she wants to make sure to consume every single bit so that she gets the maximum number of calories? Why? Why start eating like an animal because you want to maximise your intake of calories? Aren’t you on a diet? Isn’t the goal to eat FEWER calories? Who cares if you leave food on the plate and still put the full amount in your little calorie diary?
Am I not reading this right? Or is she starving herself and wants to get every bit of food so eats like an animal. Horseface, listen…nobody gives a shit what you look like. Just wear an entire top. You don’t have to starve yourself for the horntards or whoever your most recent loser boyfriend is. Put a top on that covers your midriff for once, like a normal person, and go about your day. Concentrate on things that matter.
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Pam aka CannotBeTamed’s Boyfriend
She does a Q&A. It’s BORING AS FUCK, as you might imagine. EVERY fucking question is about video games. WHO CARES? What’s wrong with these people? Why do they want Pam’s opinion on video games? What does it matter? She doesn’t make games. What fucking difference does it make what genres she’s considers timeless?
But she refers to her “partner” several times during the video. I think that she even plugs his…Goosebumps podcast? Or something.
She also talks about how the Cinemassacre cameo that she did where she shook her tits for two seconds caused a massive increase in her subscriber count and she was surprised by that. Well, it really makes it clear what your audience is looking for.
At 28:15, Pam’s “partner” appears from behind the couch and she awkwardly calls him a creep a couple of times.
He’s probably…I don’t know…late 40s. Early 50s. Pam is about 45 herself. But he has a boy’s haircut where his bangs are covering his eyes and the old JOHN RIGGS gray beard patch under his mouth. Why not just dye it? Or shave it? How often do you have to dye beard hair? Let me look this up.
Once a month. That’s reasonable. You can’t do that?
People on some beards subreddit seem to be opposed to dying, though. I don’t know. It doesn’t look good to me, though. But whatever, you do you.
Pam gives this guy a kiss. How sweet.
Then he reads a question. He sounds HELLA gay. Come on. Is this a joke? There is no doubt in my mind that this dude is fucking gay. That’s what I suspected even before I heard him speak. I saw his fucking bullshit tweets where he talks about cooking for Pam and it was…I mean…I don’t want to suggest that cooking makes you gay but there was something about these tweets that gave off MASSIVE gay vibes.
https://bsky.app/profile/dylancharles.bsky.social
There’s his BlueSky. He’s not on Twitter any more, same as Pam. They took a stand against Elon Musk. He links to his Goosebumps podcast. You want to hear what a 50 year old guy has to say about children’s books from the 1990s? No, me neither.
Pam is strapping a dildo on and fucking this dude. That’s what’s happening here. That’s the kind of guy she goes for. Gay men.
But why is he interested in her? She’s a bitch and masculine in some ways but I wouldn’t describe her as “butch”. Is this some sort of beard situation? Is he trying to appease his parents? Come on. You’re 50. Are his parents even alive any more? You can be yourself.
Pam also talks about her lesbian “friend” Michelle aka Pelee. So Pam is clearly gay. We know that. Why is she with this guy? This whole thing is bizarre.
But Pam had that Mexican boyfriend for so long. That really complicates things for me. I refuse to believe that the Mexican boyfriend was gay. But maybe he was, I don’t know. We don’t know anything about him. I imagined him as a macho kind of guy who didn’t put up with Pam’s bullshit and Pam liked that. But now that we see this Dylan guy…is this the sort of guy that she’s always gone for? Homosexuals? It would suggest that maybe the Mexican guy was gay as well.
Maybe this Mexican guy was only with Pam for some kind of visa situation but how would that work? They weren’t married. So presumably he was in Canada legally.
Well, whatever. Good luck to Pam and her homosexual boyfriend and her lesbian “friend” Pele.
Pam also did “advance voting” and wants you to do the same.
How about you mind your own fucking business, Pam? Have you considered that?
Why are some people so invested in the idea that everybody should vote? Well, I thought about it for two seconds and then I realised what the answer is. These are “liberals” who want “their” candidate to win and they know that the more people who vote, the more likely it is that the “liberal” candidate will win.
That’s all this is. Pam doesn’t give a fuck about the sanctity of democracy, she just wants “her” candidate to win.
Pam, none of these politicians give the slightest of fucks about you. When are you going to wake up? These politicians are completely beholden to the elite. Who are the candidates in the local Ontario election? I think that she lives in Ontario.
Oh, no. These are national elections. That’s right. What’s his name who went to that elite school and did some play in blackface is stepping down or something.
Let’s see. Do I think that Mark Carney, the former governor of the Bank of England has the interests of working class lesbians like Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining or do I think that businessman and longtime organizer of right-wing parties Pierre Poilievre is the man who’s going to redistribute the wealth? How about neither of them, Pam? Have you considered that possibility? This is a fucking sham. Do you want to vote for one rich white guy or the other rich white guy?
Dumb fucking bitch. Take your vote and shove it up your gay boyfriend’s ass.
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Erin Plays and Mike Matei watch the Nintendo Switch 2 Direct – Erin Plays
0:00 – “Long time no see. If you don’t know, I’ve had surgery on my gums.”
I don’t get it. I really don’t. Why is Zombie Gums so obsessed with telling people about her disgusting surgery? This is how she starts the stream. She’s been bragging about this FOR WEEKS on Twitter.
There is not a single dental procedure that I EVER want to hear about. Root canals, crowns, fillings, cleanings, I don’t give a shit. I don’t want to hear it. It’s gross. It’s between you and your dentist. Keep it there.
But Erin is BOASTING about this. About zombie gums. It’s the craziest fucking thing in the universe. Who does this? Who boasts about dental procedures? And this is a particularly disgusting procedure even by the disgusting standards of dental procedures.
I know that she didn’t use cadaver tissue but what happened is that the dentist cut tissue from the roof of her mouth and then grafted it onto her gums. It’s completely vile. Who wants to hear this?
If this is a procedure that you need, which I’m not actually sure anybody does need, I think it’s a bizarre cosmetic surgery, but whatever. Let’s say you need it. Fine. Get the zombie gums. But would you go around bragging about it? This is something that you don’t tell anybody about. People don’t need to know this. People don’t want to know this. And you shouldn’t want people to know about your fucking zombie gums.
People are going to be looking at your gums. Is that what you want? I can’t get the idea that Erin has zombie gums out of my head. I can never look at her the same way. She’s going to be Zombie Gums forever for me. And there was no need for any of this. All she had to do was not fucking talk about it. I never would have known.
And then Mike immediately makes a face like he’s disgusted by this. Because he is. Anybody would be. It’s vile. Why is he not stopping her? Why did he not tell her to retract those Twitter posts?
Erin then proceeds to tell you, in detail, how the procedure was performed. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. And Mike makes an exaggerated expression like Kevin from Home Alone where he puts his hands on his cheeks and screams. It’s madness. Mike, fucking stop her. Do something. You know that this is insanity. Nobody on earth wants to hear about her fucking zombie gums. YOU don’t want to hear about it.
Mike has to fucking kiss this woman now who has ZOMBIE GUMS. How? How could he do it? But Erin, completely clueless, continues her boastful description of this completely disgusting procedure. Mike should be physically removing her from his home right now. “I’m sorry. The zombie gums are too much. Get the fuck out of here. I’ll have your shit shipped back to your parents’ home. Do not come back.”
0:45 – Erin is now, thankfully, moving on to the Nintendo Direct…whatever this is. She says, “I haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.”
You don’t say. When you’re not remotely interested in something, you find that you tend not to get around to it.
1:30 – Now she’s doing her Romper Room Magic Mirror thing where reads the names of everyone in the chat. Apparently, somebody asked how she’s doing because she says that she’s feeling better. Imagine that. One of the horntards must have said, “So how are the zombie gums doing, Erin?”
Terrible sound volume on this thing. I can’t hear what Zombie Gums is saying over the loud video that they’re watching. I’m missing all of her gems.
4:30 – Mike says “I like playing Steam” in reference to Erin’s bizarre suggestion that she and Mike aren’t in the “handheld demographic.”
Mike has made these sorts of odd comments about Steam in the past. He seems to use the word “Steam” instead of “PC games.” It’s just weird. Even if you get all of your PC games from Steam and that’s all that you’ve ever known, which I can’t imagine is the case for Mike, even knowing that he seems to have little experience with PC games before…I don’t know…2005 or so, he has to know that these are PC games. That’s the term. Not “Steam games”. Steam is just the platform through which to buy the games.
15:30 – They’re talking about how you can chat to other players on this Nintendo Switch 2. A common feature. Mike even states as much, talking about how you can use headphones to chat to people. He’s presumably talking about “Steam games.”
But then he makes an absolutely insane comment. Erin says that this chat feature is mostly for friends, as opposed to strangers, which I don’t think is true but whatever. Mike then says, “Then why not just pick up a phone and call them?”
BECAUSE YOU’RE PLAYING A GAME, ASSHOLE. DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GET IT? You’re going to pick up a phone to talk to people while playing a game? How is that going to work? You have three hands?
“Let’s say you were somewhere else and I’m here, I’ll just have you on the phone and I won’t pay.”
Mike is under the mistaken impression that you have to pay for the chat feature. Let’s just assume that’s true, which it isn’t. Sure, you can use some free app to talk to somebody. That’s possible. But how are you holding the fucking phone, you moron?
Erin tries to explain in some bizarre fashion but she has NO IDEA how any of this works so it’s like a dog trying to explain how this works.
18:45 – Mike says that he bought Super Mario World in 1991 and doesn’t want to pay a monthly bill for it. Well, good news, Mike…THAT’S NOT WHAT’S HAPPENING. YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
Mike is REALLY complaining about the costs of this shit. Bear in mind that this is somebody who I suspect has paid at least TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS for Erin’s ZOMBIE GUMS. But now twenty a bucks a month for some subscription is too much.
21:00 – “All I’m thinking about is how my Genesis Everdrive has Master System games on. I’ll just play Master System.”
IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE. He’s watching this video about Switch 2 games and talking about how he’d rather play Master System games. Then go play them, asshole. Nobody gives a shit. What the fuck does it have to do with what you’re watching?
I’m turning this off. This is boring as fuck. Erin knows NOTHING about ANYTHING and Mike seems even more clueless. I didn’t even think that that was possible.
We haven’t got an update on Erin’s zombie gums. I hope it’s not because of my previous article about them. I’m dying to know. She promised to give an update when her gums heal, which was scheduled for a week from her previous tweet. That was over a week ago. I want close up pictures of her zombie gums. Show them off, Erin. Mike paid ten grand for those zombie gums. We want to see the results. Show those sexy zombie gums.
Oh yeah. I remember when this woman died. I wonder if Newt tweeted about it.
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Newt’s Movie Theatre’s Condescending Letter to Patrons
The Grand Theater
HAS A ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY
When it comes to outbursts and disruptions during the MINECRAFT MOVIE
I DON’T CARE WHAT MEMES YOU ARE TRYING TO COPY
PEOPLE COME TO OUR THEATER TO ENJOY THE FILM IN A FAMILY ENVIRONMENT
GO TO THE BIG CORPORATE MULTIPLEX IF YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO SCREAM “CHICKEN JOCKEY” OR THROW POPCORN
MOVIE THEATERS ARE HAVING A VERY HARD TIME OF LATE. AND RECENT DISRESPECTFUL, SELFISH BEHAVIOR IS RUINING THE MOVIE FOR THOSE WHO CAN STILL CONDUCT THEMSELVES LIKE CIVILIZED HUMANS FOR 2 HOURS WHILE IN PUBLIC IN 2025.
We are very busy. And doing our best to serve the customer. PLEASE do not make Our jobs harder. And destroy the movie going experience for others around you.
CONSIDER THIS YOUR WARNING
STEVE
It’s signed “Steve” but I think that’s a reference to a character in the movie. I think that Newt wrote this, based on the odd grammar and the fact that he seems so proud of this on Twitter.
Somebody in the comments actually calls him out.
Benjamin Long: Nobody’s going to respect a person throwing a temper tantrum
Newt: Explain. It’s a tantrum to expect civility now ?
Benjamin: If you’re hostile to your customers you won’t have any customers. how are you going to make money when you banned everyone
Newt: Who said anything about banning anyone. I am putting it out there so people know our policy and to allow families that we care about giving them a movie experience worth their time and money.
Benjamin: How do you enforce your rules without using Force
Newt: Setting a standard is key. I have been doing this 25 years. Messes. Fights. Talking is nothing new. But this coordinated behavior is new and diligence is needed as not to loose normal customers cause some TikTok shit has ir folks can’t act like adults
Benjamin: You’ll get trampled without enforcement
I don’t really know what Benjamin is talking about, to be honest, but the letter is ridiculous and insulting. It treats everybody reading it like they’re the ones doing this shit. And nobody who does plan on doing that shit is going to be dissuaded from the activity by reading it. If anything, they’re going to be emboldened to do it. “Look at these fucking assholes whining about this petty shit. Fuck them.”
I don’t really know what these “memes” are. People yell something during the movie and throw popcorn, I guess. Yeah, it’s stupid and no normal person would want to see a movie in that kind of environment. But this letter solves nothing. It’s just Newt complaining about having to clean up and that the cinema isn’t doing well financially. Why tell the customers this? Especially when the lionshare of the customers DON’T DO THIS SHIT.
“The Grand Theater operates a zero tolerance policy on disruptive behavior. Please do not engage in disruptive behavior during screenings of Minecraft: The Movie or any other film. Thank you.”
Done. Problem solved. If you see anybody not following the rules, you take them out. You don’t need to add all of your emotional bullshit in the letter and talk down to the reader.
So I looked this place up. I’m on Google Maps. Really small cinema. It’s in a residential area. There are houses across the street. It’s interesting. This is really small town shit. Their downtown area are these three buildings.
Somebody has a rainbow sign in their front yard that says “Love is a human right” and the cafe across the street has a rainbow sign in their window. What is this? Little San Francisco.
A lot of American flags and city-posted banners venerating local “heroes” who “served” in the military. That’s much more what I expect from small town America. Jingoism, not hardcore buttsex.
Anyway, it looks like a decent place to live. Newt says that he lives near to the cinema. Some of these houses appear to have been converted into apartments. It doesn’t look like the crime-infested shithole that Newt seems to suggest.
A lot of pickup trucks on the street. These are just hardworking folk. Oh, and there’s some kind of ministry in this three building complex. There’s some holy-rolling message on a sign. That’s another typical small time America thing.
Wow. Newspaper dispensers outside of one of these stores. I didn’t even know those still existed. I haven’t seen those since I was a kid. Giving out the local paper, I guess. Probably for free.
Three thousand people in this town. This is definitely rural Pennsylvania. 96.78% white. And fucking Newt constantly talks about how he’s so down with the homies and hates white folk.
The cinema has surprisingly high reviews, including a recent five star review by the Ideas Man himself. Not that he’s biased or anything. But I did see one illuminating review.
I would give this theater only one star, but I’ve had a lot of good memories here from when I was younger. As a customer, I was treated very well here. As an employee, however, not so much. Most times, I would work nearly eight hour shifts, which I was okay with, but I was never given any scheduled lunch breaks. Usually we would have to wait until all the customers were seated and all the candy, popcorn buckets, and cups were restocked until we were allowed to go to one of the neighboring businesses and get something to eat. In addition, there is no break room in the theater, so I would have to either eat standing up behind the concession stand or sit on the stairs. This was only really a problem when we would show the really popular movies. When Frozen 2 was showing, there would be roughly 200 people coming to each show. Oftentimes we would run out of a certain kind of candy or soda while people were still coming in, and so it would take longer for us to clean and restock. But we still weren’t allowed to eat until everything was done. One time, I thought it would be okay to have my lunch break before we were done, and the manager had the nerve to ask me if I had some sort of digestive medical condition, implying that she would only let me eat if I did. They also had ridiculous dress code requirements. No employees are allowed to have their hair dyed an unnatural color, and we couldn’t even have our nails painted unless it was a clear or nude shade. This was my first job, so I thought all this was normal. I’m a little sad to say this, but I would be fine if I never stepped foot in there again.
Just a former employee giving a surprisingly balanced review of what it was like to work there. She gave the place two stars and says that she was always treated well as a customer, so this wasn’t a hit piece. But she complains about the dress code and the lack of a scheduled lunch break.
I talked about this exact issue before because PVC Bondage Guy mentioned the lack of a lunch hour while working with Newt and I thought that it was completely outrageous. I’m pretty sure that even in shitty corporate-controlled America, there’s a requirement for workers to have, whatever it is, a thirty minute lunch break and there may be other requirements like having a place to take the lunch break and whatnot.
Apparently, this place had no facility for people to take their breaks. So they had to eat on the stairs, at the counter, or across the street at that faggy cafe. And these are people who making minimum wage so I don’t think that the cafe is really an option.
In any event, a totally fair and reasonable review. By the way, it seems that Newt wasn’t the manager because she says “she” when referring to the manager. This review is from five years ago.
But then the owner of the place responds TWO YEARS LATER with this bullshit:
“WOW! Explain why you are no longer here if you are going to trash us.”
What an asshole. She offered perfectly civil, constructive criticism of what it’s like to work there, and this piece of shit didn’t dispute any of it and described her post as “trashing” them. Fuck you, asshole. This is why there’s such a high turnover of staff at your place. Treat the people with fucking dignity and then maybe people will want to work there.
Newt sure as fuck doesn’t treat the staff with dignity. He’s given MULTIPLE stories where he treats the staff like shit, there was that appalling video where Newt and some scumbag woman and her fiance make repeated racist comments against a black man working as a janitor and this guy’s grandson hanging out in the cinema, and just recently he described two people quitting as “just bodies filling a role” or something.
It’s not bad enough that you get paid like shit at these jobs, you also have to get treated like shit. And Newt doesn’t see any problem with this. Neither does the owner, it seems.
I’m sure that it’s unpleasant for Newt as well having to work for that asshole. And he’s talked about asshole owners of these cinemas in the past and he’s quit jobs over it. But he doesn’t seem to treat his own staff any differently. He lacks any empathy at all. He’s a completely shit manager.
I’m giving Newt zero stars for his managerial behavior. Are you going to try to get this review deleted too? Good luck with that.
By the way, I think it’s well-known where Newt works. And he posted this himself. But in case there are any lunatics out there, which there may be, please refrain from harassing the Ideas Man. I have a zero tolerance policy on anybody who calls Newt’s place of business or the mayor or any of this other bullshit that Newt claims happens, which I’m sure it does, but then he blames me. Like I’m calling the fucking mayor. So seriously, that’s crazy person shit. Don’t do this. The guy is a plagiarist. Who cares that he ruined your homosexual webshow? It was ruined far before Newt started plagiarising 9/11 reviews.
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Self-INflicted Stream – Newt Wallen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkVmflULqok
He has a disgusting thumbnail of his swollen eye so I’m not embedding the video.
Pathetic live stream where Newt repeatedly begs forgiveness from…I think Fallon. It’s over some shit that he said in the previous live stream that I talked about here:
He deleted the video and I don’t know what he said. I was in and out of consciousness when I watched the video. It was the same thing I did for this most recent livestream. It was like 2:00 am and I was trying to sleep so I thought that the dulcet tones of Newt’s whining would do the trick.
Apparently, Newt said some shit in the video that Fallon took exception to. So now Fallon isn’t talking to Newt. Newt begs forgiveness and says that he’s going to his psychiatrist again to try to figure out why he keeps behaving this way.
Newt, it’s because you’re an asshole. I just saved you some money. Just give Fallon a $50 tip the next time you pay her for sex and everything will be smoothed over. It’s not a big deal.
He doesn’t even say who it is who got upset but from what I’ve gathered, it’s Fallon. Fallon, of course, is the star of the still-not-released Sucks 2 Suck. What must those Patreon backers be thinking?
https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sucks2suck-completion-fund#
Oh, it was Indie Go Go. Well, there were only 37 backers. But still, $3,113 isn’t nothing. It allegedly finished shooting two years ago. I wonder if anyone even got their “perks”. I want that signed picture of that big, fat chick.
Newt also takes exception to the idea that Wawa is a gas station. He obviously reads the blog religiously. He says that he’s not going to sue Wawa or DoorDash over this because he’s not a litigious person and “accidents happen”. Why not? This seems like a valid claim. He already has the fucking lawyer. Yes, accidents happen but that’s what these companies have insurance for. It’s time to cash in. Newt could be making “tits and gore” films for the rest of his life with any settlement that he gets.
It seems like a pretty big deal to me to order food and have your throat and face swell up as a result. Why would he let this go? There are so many things that Newt should let go of but this isn’t one of them. This is a fucking lottery ticket. He has all of the pictures and receipts. Wawa seems to have acknowledged that this happened. He’s just going to accept a five dollar refund of his chowder as full and final settlement? Not even a $20 goodwill gift certificate?
Newt, speak to a fucking lawyer about this. You could have died. Talk about your emotional distress. “I’ll never feel safe ordering from Wawa again. It was my favourite gas station cuisine and now my life is changed forever.” It’s complete madness. This is free money that you’re passing up.
Anyway, there was also an interesting story about some people from Screenwave coming to a recent screening of Minecraft at Newt’s cinema, they were all wearing Screenwave shirts, they took a picture of Newt making popcorn, and then they made a mess in the cinema by knocking the popcorn down.
The idea that a gang of uniformed corporate goons would hassle a small-town cinema is kind of quaint. “Hey, this is a Screenwave town. This spilled popcorn is just the beginning.”
Newt says that it wasn’t anybody who we know. Lesser-known Screenwave employees. Hopefully, that chubby Asian woman wasn’t involved in this.
So somebody asks why Newt doesn’t just ban them from the cinema, which is what I was thinking as well. Newt says that he doesn’t want to bother. He doesn’t want to lose the custom. Good for him, I guess. I’m sure that he enjoys the opportunity to see them again. They all seem to enjoy the rivalry.
Fucking Team Screenwave. I could not imagine working in a place that could instill that kind of company loyalty. You’re all going to put Screenwave shirts on and cause petty mayhem? For what? The guy was a plagiarist and he’s a giant asshole but he’s not working there any more. He hasn’t worked there for YEARS. Move on. You’ve got other stuff going on.
And why do they care about any damage that Newt did to Screenwave’s reputation? It’s a job. And presumably not a good-paying job. These people are getting matching Screenwave tattoos next.
Newt talks about his shitty movie ideas, including one about a “bimbo ray gun” that turns empowered women into “bimbos” and it’s really deep and satirical according to the Ideas Man. Uh huh. Sounds likes a real think piece.
There’s also news about Florida Man Saves Christmas. It’s no longer going to be called Florida Man. He doesn’t give the new name but it’s not Florida Man. And indeed, Florida Man is apparently only part of the comic now. It’s some sort of ensemble cast now.
What the fuck? He’s doing this on the advice of his “distributor” or something, presumably on anti-plagiarism advice. There already is a Florida Man comic, as Newt is well aware of.
YEARS ago, I suggested that he call the character Rural Pennsylvania Man. Is that what he’s going to use? Newt, you can use it, not that you need my permission. You freely steal ideas to your heart’s content.
But Newt says that the comics are already done. Six of them, anyway. They’re going to have to re-do the covers, I assume, to change the name. And is there still going to be a character called Florida Man or will he be called something different? Because if the name is changed, they’re going to have to change every reference in every comic.
And how is it suddenly an ensemble comic? They have six comics where presumably Florida Man was the central character. How are they going to change that now?
Well, Newt promises that the comic will be released soon, something he’s been saying for years, but this time he means it. So I guess all of our questions will be answered.
He also showed a bunch of scripts that he wrote recently, including a Florida Man (or whatever it’s called now) script. And they’re all printed out. He’s showing how thick they are, “Oh, this one is 60 pages” and whatever.
Newt…why are you printing this trash out? Just to show us what a stack of papers looks like? I know that people print stuff out because it’s easier to proofread if you’re reading from a paper as opposed to a screen but NO WAY is Newt proofreading ANYTHING that he does. So this is just for us. He wants to show us what 60 pages looks like. We know, Newt. It’s like three quarters of an inch. Who cares? It’s the CONTENT that matters and the content is pure dogshit.
Somebody asks about Shark Vampire and Vanpire and whatever and…Newt basically admits that it’s not happening. So we’ll never get that “tits and gore” masterpiece about a vampire with a shark’s head. Or the entirely ad-libbed movie about a van that feasts on blood. It’s a real loss to cinema.
But most of the video was about Newt groveling to Fallon. So Fallon, listen up. You’re some no-talent prostitute in rural Pennsylvania. This is it. If you ever want to make it out of the gutter, Newt is your ticket to fame and fortune. His movie about an undercover government agent who used to be a porn star and is now making movies with sexy monsters is going to be the next big thing. Do you want to be the topless Medusa or don’t you?
Sure, Newt may have said some insensitive things. Maybe he commented on your tits. Or how you’re a lousy mother. Or how your lady parts have an offensive odour. But you didn’t know that Newt was an asshole? It’s been his defining trait throughout his life. You had no problem when he was being an asshole to Horseface, Tony from Hack the Movies, PVC Bondage Guy, Kieran, James Rolfe, Justin Silverman, that woman who died from cancer who he fucked up the ass, or anyone else who he’s ever known.
So lose the attitude and respond to Newt’s increasingly desperate texts. You’re no better than he is. Anybody spending time with Newt is a piece of shit. He knows this, you know this, we all know this. As big of a loser as Newt is, you’re the one leeching off of him. What does that make you?
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“Zombie Gums” Erin
I haven’t been on Erin’s Twitter in a while. I’m so *nostalgic* for Erin’s boring as fuck Twitter.
“The script for my next video is taking 4ever but it IS coming. Had a lot going on that’s been quite draining. But for a positive-my gum graft stitches should be taken out next week so hopefully I’ll be able to smile again without looking like I have strange things in my teeth!”
What in the blue hell is this? Gum graft? Oh god. I regret looking this up. I hesitate to even describe it. If you’re at all queasy, just skip this article.
“Gum graft surgery is a dental procedure for treating thinning gums or gum recession. Gum grafting covers exposed teeth roots and adds volume to your gum line, improving overall oral health.”
WHY WOULD SHE GET THIS? WHO CARES ABOUT HER GUMS?
How much did Mike fucking pay for this shit? Let me look this up.
$3,000 per tooth. And they use gum tissue from cadavers. So Erin is walking around with a dead person’s gums. And how many gum areas were affected? Oh god. It’s fucking unbelievable. Mike dropped at least ten thousand bucks on this shit, I bet. FOR ZOMBIE GUMS.
You could have got breast implants for half that price. That’s something that would improve Erin’s look much more than fucking zombie gums. What the fuck are they doing? Why is every single choice that Erin makes the wrong one?
Do you want to see Erin with giant tits or with ZOMBIE GUMS? Or how much is a Brazilian butt lift? $6,500 on average. It just boggles the mind. GUMS are what she was concerned about. Has anybody EVER commented on Erin’s GUMS?
Then she says:
“The past year has sucked so I’m always worried people think Erin Plays is over (it’s SUPER not!)I know not everyone knows/cares about my “extras” channel so they prob think I’m totally MIA which stresses me out so yeah. I’m streaming and uploading there at least in the meantime!”
Erin, the channel is done. It’s dead. Much like your gums. You’ve come to the realization, finally, that nobody wants to watch a personality blackhole who knows nothing about video games playing video games. Why it took so long, who knows? Maybe she has a zombie brain too.
What about zombie tits? Let’s get some of those on there. Why isn’t this a procedure?
You can have internal organs from dead people, right? Heart, liver…well, let’s not just go on my donor organ knowledge. Let’s look it up.
Heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, small bowel, cornea, skin, tendons, bone, hands, face, limbs, “womb”.
Get Erin a zombie bowel. We know how much Mike enjoys anal. Mix it up a little. Stick a new bowel in there.
Erin can go full on zombie. Replace everything possible with cadaver parts. Mike apparently has the money and isn’t afraid of completely flushing it down the toilet. GUMS is what she got. Untold thousands of dollars for this.
She’s a complete fucking moron.
“Random Erin lore: In high school we had to run a presidential campaign for a celebrity. We chose Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance and used a pic from the Ghost of You video to say he was in the invasion of Normandy.”
I don’t understand ANY of that. But bear in mind that this is somebody with a dead person’s gums.
“Gum graft update #2: Today I could finally drink out of a straw and have my Diet Coke ™. Sometimes when I laugh/smile too hard the stitches hurt, eating still is annoying but I’m getting closer to being functional when it comes to being Erin Plays, thankfully.”
I’m doing all of this in reverse chronological order so that was from a few weeks ago. Why does she think that anybody wants to hear about this? That’s another thing that’s completely baffling. Keep your disgusting zombie gums to yourself. Why would she advertise this? It’s not like anybody would know. She’s boasting about this. About having zombie gums.
“Gum graft update- feel shitty over all but I’ve been keeping up with the pain meds so that’s helped. Not being able to eat real food makes me feel nauseous and my gums look a bit frankensteined in the area but it’s pretty cool this procedure is even possible.”
It’s unbelievable. She describes the result as “frankensteined”. Because that’s what it is. Somebody dug up a corpse, cut the gums off, and put them on Erin’s rotted fucking gums. But why admit to this?
Even if it was relatively normal cosmetic surgery, people tend not to admit to getting the surgery. You get a nose job or something, people don’t want to admit to that. It’s personal business. But Erin is out there flapping her zombie gums about her absolutely vile treatment.
And HornyGoriya is out there wishing Erin a speedy recovery. She must REALLY be into Erin that she still wants to get in there even after hearing about the zombie gums.
“Hi! I’m getting gum grafting surgery today for receding gums and from what I see online, recovery if different for everyone. So I may not be able to stream for a bit depending on how healing goes. Yes, I’m scared lol. Learn from me- Don’t brush too hard and use a SOFT toothbrush!”
Is she retarded? Brushing too hard caused her to get fucked up gums?
Let me be clear here. There’s nothing wrong with Erin’s gums. Well, now there are. She has a corpse’s gums now. But before she did that completely insane thing, there was nothing wrong them. I don’t know exactly because I’m not looking at Erin’s fucking gums and gums are typically not a thing that you can really see on people but I’m just assuming that they were perfectly fine.
This is just some other weird obsession that she has like her “carpal tunnel syndrome” which is completely invented. It’s a mental health problem, not a medical problem. And Mike, instead of getting her the psychiatric help that she so clearly needs, enables her delusions and says, “Oh, sure, honey. Let’s get you some zombie gums. I was the puppetmaster of a retard for many years so have the cash to waste.”
In the responses, somebody asks if it’s cadaver tissue and Erin says that it’s from the roof of her mouth but I don’t care. I’m sticking with zombie gums.
Erin is a big Michelle Trachtenberg fan. Never mentioned her once. Mike should have splashed out to have Michelle Trachetenberg’s gums grafted onto Erin’s gums.
Is Erin still on Bluesky? Oh, yeah.
She needs the world to know about these zombie gums.