Just Take A Chance – Zap Cristal

So we’ve got Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal with Mr Wright Way II. It’s episode 3 of their podcast. I skipped the second one because it looked boring as fuck. But this one promises to be about taking chances in life. She’s going to share her own life-changing experiences. Okay, great. Let’s hear what amazing changes you’ve made in your life. Inspire us.

Oh, somebody in the comments asks Zap if she got divorced from Mr Wright Way. Zap says yes and she got re-married. God, she moves incredibly fast. I thought that she was just dating Mr Wright Way II. No. Within the span of about six months, she divorced Mr Wright Way and married Mr Wright Way II. How? They must have known each other while Zap was still married. You can’t have that much of a whirlwind relationship. The second she gets divorced, she immediately meets Mr Wright Way II and they begin courting?

And…let me look this up. I want to make sure the dates are right.

She seems to have deleted a lot of videos that had Mr Wright Way in them. Including this one that I reviewed in August 2021:

So they were together at least from August 2021.

John Riggs promoted Zap Cristal in January 2022 and in the video, Mr Wright Way is in it as well.

Then there’s this video from Zap Cristal’s channel:

That’s from 23 August 2022. And she’s at a nerd convention with Mr Wright Way. So she was with him at least as recently as 11 months ago.

This seems to be the most recent video I can find of them together but I haven’t done extensive reasearch on this.

You’re telling me that in 11 months Zap Cristal separated from Mr Wright Way, got a divorce, met Mr Wright Way II, and married Mr Wright Way II? All within 11 months? Don’t divorces take some considerable time? Don’t you have to be separated for a certain period of time before you can get divorced? Maybe you don’t. I don’t know. But doesn’t the legal process at least take some considerable time?

Then she met Mr Wright Way II. They had a romance. And got married. Doesn’t a marriage take some time to plan and whatever? I’m not saying that they necessarily had a big church wedding and invited everyone’s friends and family but…she did all of this within 11 months?

Let’s say that she knew Mr Wright Way II while she was still married to Mr Wright Way. Because that almost certainly has to be the case. I strongly suspect, given the dates, that she was cheating on Mr Wright Way with Mr Wright Way II. It’s STILL a ridiculously short amount of time to get separated, divorced, and then re-married.

What a fucking piece of shit scumbag she is.

Maybe she’ll explain some of this in the video.

There’s annoying background music through all of this. Let’s hope it ends soon.

They’re talking about video games. I’m going to fast forward through this.

3:30 – Mr Wright Way II says that he owns (or something) a music studio that makes “music for gamers”. Eugh. And his next album is called All About You. It’s going to be about how he met Zap Cristal.

Are you fucking kidding me? This thing won’t sell ten copies. And he’s going to make a whole ALBUM on this?

“This album is going to be about how I met Zap Cristal, how I fell in love with Zap Cristal, and how that story ends.”

What? How it ends? It’s going to end in about six months when she meets Mr Wright Way III.

How the fuck can this guy get an ENTIRE ALBUM worth of songs out of this material? Out of this relationship that, assuming Zap Cristal stayed true to her marital vows, can’t have lasted even a year.

Now I’m actually intrigued. Maybe I will buy the album. I’m not interested in the obvious love story here, I just have to know time-wise how this all fits together.

4:30 – He’s also working on an album from Zap Cristal. He claims it’s going to be a part 2 to his project.

So…what? They’re able to get TWO ALBUMS out of this relationship that lasted less than a year? Come on. Let’s say 12 tracks on an album. That’s 24 songs. They’re going to have a song based on every date that they went on? There will be a song about the time they went bowling and got some pizza together with Zap’s son, for example?

Oh, and the songs are all video-game related too. So…god, this is the world’s worst idea. I’ve heard some terrible ideas. I’m looking at you, Newt Wallen. But I think that we have a new champion here.

I found a preview of these albums:

“Just like a Tetris block, girl, you put it down.”

I don’t know what it means but tell me who the fucking market is for this. Middle aged hip hop retro gamers who are big Zap Cristal fans? Is there even ONE such person?

I don’t even know if it’s him “singing” this. It’s definitely not Zap Cristal singing on “her” album.

You can follow this fool’s…whatever this is…here:


One thousand followers.

7:00 – “It’s exciting that we get to still be creative and experiment and just fuse both of our…I like to call it masterminds.”

Indeed. We’re clearly watching a couple of intellectual juggernauts here.

I was watching a recent eight hour Mario stream from Mike Matei. He doesn’t like the puzzle levels. They frustrate him. He ends up feeling stupid. So he’s playing one and can’t figure out what to do right away so he turns it off and says, “What do they think I am? Albert Einstein?” I was just reminded of this. Mike thinking that you have to be a genius to play a Mario puzzle level.

7:15 – Now it’s Zap Cristal’s favourite part of the podcast. On episode three. RE-set.

“Sometimes you just have to take a chance. You have to go for it.”

Okay. This is what I was waiting for. Those albums though…I’m glad I heard about that preposterous shit.

8:45 – Mr Wright Way II says that he’s not from Texas. He’s from Virginia. Umm…okay. Continue.

“This story goes back about two years.”

He started his music channel on Youtube two years ago. 518 subscribers, by the way.

“Through that journey, I met somebody special.”

So…at what point during this two years? While she was still married to Mr Wright Way? It had to have been.

9:45 – “At the time, we both had our own situations going on.”

So this confirms it. They were both married at the time. He refers to marriage as “situations”.

She helped him with his Youtube channel.

He wrote a song called 3DS a year ago as a way to woo Zap Cristal. Forget about how pathetic is. She was married at the time. So was he, presumably.

Then this piece of shit says that both of them were in “unhealthy” “situations”. Yeah. Because of you scumbags. You were the “unhealthy” ones in these “situations”. Even without knowing this guy’s wife, I can say with certainty that 100% of the “unhealthiness” comes from Mr Wright Way II.

Then he says that he fell in love with Zap Cristal, even before meeting her, and decided to move in with her.

Nobody is embarassed by this? It screams desperation on Zap Cristal’s part. And it screams predatory behaviour by Mr Wright Way II. Moving in with a woman he doesn’t even know?

So one day, Zap Cristal told this guy that he could move in with her, so he says that the next day, he moved all of his stuff and did just that. Didn’t he have a job? And he had so little that he could just move everything in one day?

He’s a fucking loser. He’s a loser who preys on desperate women. He just wants a place to live. He wants a woman to pay his bills. He refuses to get a job.

By the way, music plays through this entire podcast. It’s AWFUL.

14:00 – Mr Wright Way II starts talking about how much Zap’s channel has “blown up”. She has 6,000 subscribers.

He just keeps blowing smoke up her ass. This is what he’s been doing the whole video. Really lame pick up artist shit. And Zap is braindead enough to buy this shit. She fell for this guy’s con. All that he wants is a place to live and for a woman to pay his bills. And she agreed to this just because he constantly tells her how hot and amazing she is. It’s ridiculously transparent. This guy is a parasite. This guy embodies among the worst stereotypes of black men. And Zap Cristal is the stereotypical target of these black men: fat, non-black chicks with low self-esteem.

16:15 – Zap says that in 2018 she was living in Puerto Rico? Really? That’s surprising. She said that she was from New Jersey. Why was she in Puerto Rico? Nothing is explained.

18:00 – She went to Texas in 2018 after some hurricane in Puerto Rico.

So…let’s think about this. She must have met Mr Wright Way in 2018 at the earliest. And she divorced him in 2022. She must have married him shortly after meeting him too. She makes remarkably poor decisions. She marries any black guy who pays attention to her.

She also says that she got out of a “toxic” relationship. This was with a different guy. Before Mr Wright Way.

But then she talks about how Mr Wright Way was also a piece of shit. Why is everybody who she meets a piece of shit? The common denominator seems to be her. She’s picking these guys. Why does she pick such “toxic” men? She needs to accept the responsibility for her choices.

19:45 – Then she decided to start all over again, “Not only in my personal life but as a content creator.”

It’s never explained what Mr Wright Way did that was so “toxic”. But she’s constantly talking about having to “start over” every few years.

Here’s an idea, Zap: stop getting married to black men. Well, let’s not make this a race thing. Stop getting married at all. Do something else with your time. Focus on you and your son. Don’t marry every guy who says you’re hot.

She says that 2018 to 2022 have been the worst time of her life because she was in this “toxic” relationship with Mr Wright Way and…her Youtube videos weren’t what they wanted them to be. Not even making that up. But 2023 is the year of Zap Cristal because she’s with Mr Wright Way II now and she’s making the kind of Youtube videos that she wants to make.

But…still nobody is watching them. So this whole thing is insane.

What about jobs, Zap? Do you have any career aspirations?

21:30 –

Zap: The support has been incredible. At some point, I think I might have underestimated how much people truly love me.

Mr Wright Way II: I think we both did.

I’m not quite sure what Mr Wright Way II meant by that comment but yeah. Zap was just overwhelmed with how much love she gets from her community.

This video got seven comments.

I have to turn this off. I made it to 23:45. All she’s doing is repeating herself and this music is driving me insane. Who the fuck thought that putting music throughout a podcast would be a good idea?

But this was her big philosophical revelation about “taking chances”. She started a podcast (which gets no views) and married this predatory hobo Mr Wright Way II. That’s it. Whoopdeedoo. No mention of a job. No mention of her son. Just her shitty Youtube channel and Mr Wright Way II.

She was talking about living in Puerto Rico and having to collect water from a river to wash her clothes and whatnot after the hurricane. This was in 2017.

She should have stayed in Puerto Rico. Because you see the awful decisions that she made since arriving in Texas. She immediately got into one “toxic” relationship, presumably with a black guy. Then she got into a relationship with Mr Wright Way, another “toxic” black guy, according to her. And now she’s with Mr Wright Way II, yet another toxic black guy.

I mean, she was undoubtedly making horrible decisions on Puerto Rico too. But at least it wasn’t with black guys. Her son appears to have the same skin tone as she has. So she was making poor decisions with Puerto Rican guys, presumably.

It’s pathetic. And nobody is watching these videos. And she’s gained 70 pounds since leaving Mr Wright Way. That’s not going to help her views.

You can’t just bounce from one black man to another. That’s not what life is about. She’s immediately marrying these men as well. Why? Why not just be in a relationship? Is she deeply religious? Isn’t divorce frowned upon in Christianity? Catholicism at least. I don’t know about those hillbilly churches.

Mr Wright Way II will be out of the picture within 12 months. I’m calling it here. Then she’ll be on to Mr Wright Way III. Who will that be? Maybe Super Geoff, the legitimate mentally retarded black guy who’s a superfan of Erin and Destiny Fomo.


Or what about…there was some obese black guy who commented a bunch on Horseface’s Twitter. I think it’s this guy:


Oh, Radical Reggie. He’d be a good choice. There was something about him sleeping on an air matress or something because he spent all of his money on video games. I don’t know the veracity of this story. But Zap Cristal has a bed. I’m sure she’d be happy to share it with Radical Reggie and he gets a bed out of it. It’s win/win.

So we’ve got some real contenders to be Mr Wright Way III. Maybe she’ll throw us a curveball and it will be John Riggs in a deep tan.

6 thoughts on “Just Take A Chance – Zap Cristal

  1. I like the way you call him Mr. Wright Way II. Reminds me of Mr. Wrestling II.

    Didn’t he and Zap have car troubles? I bet she broke the bank paying for all his stupid shut them he left when the money ran out.

    This is worse than Mike and Erin!! ProMotion for buttsex doesn’t really hurt anyone. But she’s marrying for promotion! And a total nobody. I’m sure for as big a name as Mike is there’d be guys lining up to take it in the ass for a shoot out from Mr. Ten Incher.

    1. Oh yeah. Mr Wright Way’s car broke down and then God told him to sell his game collection to pay for it. Maybe it was their collective game collection.

  2. I honestly feel bad for her kid. Who is his father? Where is he? If the guy before Mr. Wright way was not his father then he has had already 3 black step-fathers! If he was, then just two. I really hope this generation of kids rejects their idiot parents and all this internet stuff and just raise families on a farm or do something that requires manual labor. It might just save the world.

    1. It’s unbelievably irresponsible. You can’t bring all of these strange men into your child’s life. If that kid had a good relationship with Mr Wright Way, now he’s gone. And if he didn’t have a good relationship with him, he shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

      And now there’s this other goof, Mr Wright Way II. It’s going to be the same fucking thing. He’s not going to be there for long.

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